WHY FIGHT FOR SURVIVAL IF WE CAN COLLABORATE FOR SUCCESS? BARNEY JORDAAN
WHY FIGHT FOR SURVIVAL IF WE CAN COLLABORATE FOR SUCCESS?
BARNEY JORDAAN
What does the word CONFLICT remind you of?
#experiencevlerick
3
QUIZCONFLICT AS AN OYSTER
Oysters and conflict have something in common: a little irritation can produce a thing of beauty.
Thompson, Butkus & Boudreau (2016) ’The Right Kind of Conflict Leads to Better Products’ HBR
#experiencevlerick
4
Our typical responses to conflict
#experiencevlerick
7 #experiencevlerick
YET WE HAVE RANGE OF PROCESS OPTIONS
#experiencevlerick
Amicable Adversarial
Dialogue Negotiation FacilitationMediation Others decide
Power
Control over process & outcome
Loss of control over process, outcome or both
Control over outcome
Understanding conflict
‘Conflict’ arises when one person feels that his / herneeds are not being recognised or met by another.
It may be real, or perceived, visible or hidden
DEFINITION
#experiencevlerick
3 DIMENSIONS ARE ALWAYS PRESENT
11
PROBLEM
PEOPLE
PROCESS
Use behaviours that promote amicable resolution
Manage the emotions and interpersonal issues
Focus on the underlying concerns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGQmdoK_ZfY
EASIER SAID THAN DONE …
#experiencevlerick
13
THE CONFLICT PATH
Causes
Mitigators Aggravators
Positive outcomes Negative outcomes
Conflict and the brain
#experiencevlerick
HERE’S THE CULPRIT
16
System 2
System1
SYSTEMS 1 & 2
#experiencevlerick
SYSTEM 1
#experiencevlerick
black blue grey red
pink brown purple
orange white yellow red
#experiencevlerick
SYSTEM 2: WELCOME TO SLOW THINKING
black blue grey red
pink brown purple
orange white yellow red
#experiencevlerick
StopListenObserveWise response
‘SLOW’
#experiencevlerick
A better way of dealing with differences
EXERCISE
#experiencevlerick
Wi-fi: Vlerick – Login: jump - Password: 1234 Mobile APP: jumpbrussels Twitter: @JumpEquality #JUMP2017
HOW DO WE GET FROM THIS….
24
TO THIS?
WE NEED TO DEVELOP A DIFFERENT ‘MENTAL MODEL’ OR ‘MINDSET’ ABOUT CONFLICT
Assumptions- Conflict- People- Problem- Process
Strategy Behaviour Results
#experiencevlerick
Develop a definition of conflict that is entirely positive,
e.g.: ‘Conflict is an opportunity to …’
CHANGING YOUR PERCEPTION OF CONFLICTREDEFINING CONFLICT
#experiencevlerick
Nothing great is achieved without some conflict. Conflict sharpens the senses; it invites full engagement in solving importan
Enrique Conterno, Senior Vice President, Lilly Diabetes, quoted in Thompson et al, (2016) ’The Right Kind of Conflict Leads tHBR
#experiencevlerick
What to do when conflict happens
#experiencevlerick
1. PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE!
UNDERSTAND YOUR CONFLICT PROFILE
30
C O O P E R A T I V E N E S S high
high
low
low
Competing / Dominating
Joint Problem-solving
AvoidingAccommodating /
Obliging
Source: Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument
2. BE CONSCIOUS OF YOUR CONFLICT STYLE & ADAPT IF NECESSARY
#experiencevlerick
3. PAY ATTENTION TO ALL 3 DIMENSIONS
31
PROBLEM
PEOPLE
PROCESSFocus on the underlying concerns
Use behaviours that promote amicable resolution
Manage the emotions and interpersonal issues
4. SLOW DOWN: ACTIVATE THE ‘PAUSE’ BUTTON!
Enquire
Dialogue
Stimulus
#experiencevlerick
33
• Ask questions (especially open-ended ones)
• Empathise
• Be prepared to apologise if necessary
• Separate the person from the problem
• Listen in a way that will encourage them to talk
(‘active listening)
• Talk in a way that will encourage them to listen
(‘active talking’)
5. ADOPT POSITIVE BEHAVIOURS
#experiencevlerick
6. TAKE THEIR PERSPECTIVE
If you want to
change their minds,
you have to know
where their minds
are …
#experiencevlerick
35
7. INVEST IN POST CONFLICT RECONCILIATION
#experiencevlerick
• Stop, breathe, and think
• Acknowledge the conflict
• Buy some time to prepare
• Take it somewhere else
• Keep it respectful
IF YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO PREPARE
#experiencevlerick
Conflict is inevitable. Combat is optional.
Max Lucado
#experiencevlerick
REMEMBER ….
Don’t sacrifice tomorrow to win yesterday
John Zinsser
#experiencevlerick
YET, WHATEVER YOU DO…..
© Vlerick Business School
FEEL LIKE SOME MORE?
▪ Executive MBA Programme (start: 12 October)
▪ Negotiating to Create Value (start: 3 May)
▪ Negotiate for Success (start 16 May) 100% online
▪ Executive Development programme (start: 16 May)
▪ Or contact us for a customised programme for your company
#experiencevlerick