Whats Up Xtra Chicago September 2013

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PRIVATE PARTY ROOM CALL J.R. 773-281-1205

2158 N Halsted glascotts.com 773-281-1205

Sunday $6 Glascott’s

Home-made Bloody Marys $15 Domestic Buckets

Monday $5 Pints,

$5 Call Cocktails $7 Top Shelf Cocktails

Tuesday $4 Blue Moon & Magic Hat #9

$5 Glasses of Wine

Wednesday $4 Pints of Guinness, Harp,

Bass and Magners$5 Call Cocktails

Thursday$3 Domestic Bottles

$4 Well Cocktails

Friday$5 Stella Pints

$5 Bombs

Saturday $4 Mimosas

$15 Buckets of Domesic Bottles

PBRTALL BOYSALL MONTH$3

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$5$4

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Kona Big Waves & Longboard Bottles

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7 ALL MIXED UP

8 news AND STUFF

12 ask the wino

14 are you smarter than chester

16 to do in september

17 sudoku crossowrd wordfind

18 trivia open mic karaoke

19 patios and beer gardens

20 BARTENDER OF THE MONTH

21 lake MI circle tour

25�28 bar directory

29 tales from the chris

30 la las love letters

31 book review

The name What’s Up Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine -2012

We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine.

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keith romackpublisher

Lisa romackSales Director

Robert ChristiansenColumn Writer

jon oberteditor

Suzi LichnerContributingjokester

lauren streccontributingwriter

We are always on the lookout for dynamic writers, photographers and sales staff to contribute to our publi-cation If you are interested in joining our team or interested in advertising opportunities contact us at

773-288-9400 oremail: [email protected]

OUR STAFFTABLE OFCONTENTS

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We would like to thank all the readers of What’s Up Xtra Magazine for your continued sup-port. The magazine was started over 8 years ago as a small local publication in Chicago and has grown throughout the area, surrounding suburbs , and now into Southern Wis-consin to be one of the most recognized comprehensive local bar directories of its kind. Our “grass root marketing” strategy has proven an effective tool for our publication and is designed to be used as a tool for our readers to plan where they will be spending their afternoons, evenings, and hard earned dollars. Magazines have maintained popularity with readers through the years and have proven that magazine advertising and readership will stand the test of time. We encourage our readers to support your communities and to patronize your local businesses!

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A Dying Man’s Wishes

A man who is dying in the hospital is surrounded by his two sons, a daughter, and his wife and nurse.With just days left to live the man says to his eldest son, “To you, Peter, I leave the Beverly houses. To you, my dear daughter, I leave the apartments in the Los Angeles Plaza. To you Charlie, be-ing my youngest son with a large future, I leave the City Center offi ces. And fi -nally to you, my dear wife, the three res-idential building towers in downtown.”The nurse very impressed by the dying man’s generosity tells his wife, “Madam, your husband is very rich and has many

properties! You all are so lucky he has shared his fortune with you be-fore he passes on!”The wife chuckles at the nurse’s naivety. She then replies with a smirk, “Rich, huh? Lucky? My husband is a Milkman and those are the routes where he delivers the milk!”

Our self-image and our habits tend to go to-gether. Change one and you will automatically change the other.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, surgeon and author of self improvement books

2060 N. Cleveland 773.935.2060 www.fourfarthings.com

2060 N. Cleveland 773.935.2060

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SEPT ALL MIXED UP by Lisa Romack

Football season is here and game on. The warm weather may be on its way out, but good food, great friends, and fun times are just beginning. Next time you gather with your pigskin loving pals for a day of celebration and team support, get the party started by mixing up one (or all) of these football inspired cocktails for a sure “touchdown” at your next party!

Ingredients:1 ½ oz Jagermeister¼ oz Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey½ oz Butterscotch Schnapps3 oz LemonadeDirections:Build over ice in highball glass. Stir. Garnish with lemon wheel, cherry, and a fresh sprig of mint.

Ingredients:1 ½ oz Jim Beam Black2 dashes Worcestershire Sauce5 dashes Tabasco Sauce2 dashes Angostura¼ oz Lime Juice3 oz Clamato JuiceDirections:Build over ice in highball glass in order given. Stir. Garnish with jalapeno marinated pickle, pepperoncini, or garnish of choice.

Ingredients:1 ½ oz Tequila½ oz Peach Schnapps½ oz Crème de Cassis½ oz Lime JuiceDirections:Place all ingredients in cocktail shaker with ice. Shake to blend. Strain into margarita glass rimmed with salt. Garnish with lime wedge.

Hail MaryGridiron

Lemonade

Necessary Roughness

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Tavern

Since 1884Since 1884

The Four Treys

DOG FRIENDLY TAVERN

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Sunday - Thursday: $2.50 Pabst Blue Ribbon

EVERYDAY: $4 Jameson shotsFriday: $5 bombs & $3 Well Drinks

Saturday: $8 Bud Lite PitchersSunday: $5 Bloody Mary pints

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SEPT ALL MIXED UP by Lisa Romack

Football season is here and game on. The warm weather may be on its way out, but good food, great friends, and fun times are just beginning. Next time you gather with your pigskin loving pals for a day of celebration and team support, get the party started by mixing up one (or all) of these football inspired cocktails for a sure “touchdown” at your next party!

Ingredients:1 ½ oz Jagermeister¼ oz Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey½ oz Butterscotch Schnapps3 oz LemonadeDirections:Build over ice in highball glass. Stir. Garnish with lemon wheel, cherry, and a fresh sprig of mint.

Ingredients:1 ½ oz Jim Beam Black2 dashes Worcestershire Sauce5 dashes Tabasco Sauce2 dashes Angostura¼ oz Lime Juice3 oz Clamato JuiceDirections:Build over ice in highball glass in order given. Stir. Garnish with jalapeno marinated pickle, pepperoncini, or garnish of choice.

Ingredients:1 ½ oz Tequila½ oz Peach Schnapps½ oz Crème de Cassis½ oz Lime JuiceDirections:Place all ingredients in cocktail shaker with ice. Shake to blend. Strain into margarita glass rimmed with salt. Garnish with lime wedge.

Hail MaryGridiron

Lemonade

Necessary Roughness


News & Stuff

Two New Drugs That Could Increase Weight Loss

Two new diet pills promise to boost weight loss by 5 to 10 percent, and are being promoted as a new tool for doctors trying to help Americans fi ght obesity.

Belvik, pronounced bel-VEEEK by Eisai, works on an individual’s brain chemistry by creating a feeling of fullness. It helps an obese patient lose an average of about 5 percent of their starting weight. The wholesale cost of a month's supply is $200. What patients pay depends on their

insurance coverage. The second drug is called Qsymia, pronounced Kyoo-SIM-ee-uh by Vivus. It helps obese people drop about 10 percent of their body weight

by suppressing the appetite and increasing the feeling of full-ness.

Both drugs are intended for people who are roughly 35 or more pounds over a healthy weight, or for overweight patients who have another weight-related condition such as high blood pres-sure, high cholesterol, or type 2 diabetes.

While neither drug promises a dramatic cure for obesity, an additional 10 or 20 pound loss could be important.

Want a fairly painless way to help get back into shape? You can wake up your metabolism with this 2-minute drill that’s featured in the fi tness book ‘Belly Off! Diet’, written by Jeff Csatari, editor of Men's Health, and fi tness expert, David Jack.Although the drill was developed for men, the principles apply to women as well. The authors suggest the best time to work out is in the morning before you begin your day. Perform this eight-callisthenic circuit at an effort of about a 6 to 7 on a scale from 1 to 10 scale. Do each exercise for 15 seconds, then immediately move on to the next.

1- Jumping jacks 2-Prisoner squats* 3-High knee skips 4-Side-to-side hops 5-Pushups 6-Crunches 7-Mountain climbers** 8-Body weight thrusters***

*Prisoner squats: Stand with your fi ngertips behind your ears, chest out, elbows back, and feet shoulder-width apart. Sit back at your hips and bend your knees to lower your body as far as you can without losing the natural arch of your spine. Keep your head up. Squeeze your gluteals and push yourself back to start position.

**Mountain climbers: Start in a pushup position. Keeping your head in line with your body, bring your right knee to your chest. As you straighten the right leg to start position, bring your left knee to your chest. Keep your weight on the balls of your feet and climb alternating your legs back and forth.

***Body weight thrusters: Keeping your back straight and hands at your shoulders, bend at the knees into a squat, and then ex-plosively drive your legs straight as you extend your arms above your head.

So there it is, simple and easy. Give it a try; what do you have to lose? Except a few pounds and your beer belly of course!

No Time to Exercise? Try This 2-Minute Drill!

These Simple Steps Will Secure Your Smartphone DataLose your smartphone and someone could have access to everything from your address to your fi nancial data. Not a happy thought. But, with a few simple steps you can protect your in-formation.

1. Put in a password or pin number. You will have to enter it before you use the phone. Might be inconvenient, but along with protecting pertinent information, it will have the added benefi t of making pocket dialing impossible.

2. Set up tracking. Android users can use the free app Android Lost.The iPhone comes with Find My iPhone, which you must acti-vate on the device through iCloud. Windows phone users can log in to their Microsoft accounts to use the built-in Find My Phone feature.

3. Beware of unknown apps. Anyone can build an app for a phone. Make sure you are not getting one built by a thief by using reputable app websites.

For online activity, using your cellular data plan helps keep your information safe. Install updates as soon as you receive them, and log out of banking and other sensitive apps after you use them. A few simple steps can go a very long way!


Out of the Frying Pan and in to the Fire

A man was sitting reading his morning paper when his wife hit him on the head with a fry-ing pan.

“What in the heck was that for?” the man

asked.

The wife replied, “That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket.”

The man then said “When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on you silly woman.”

The wife embarrassed by her mistake, apolo-gized, and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man was watching television when his wife bashed him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him uncon-scious. Upon re-gaining his senses the man asked, “Why in the world did you hit me in the noggin this time?

“Well”, replied his wife, “Your horse Jenny is on the phone and would like to speak with you immediately!”

1721 W. Wrightwood 773.296.0018

booze & schmooze

ON-PREMISE SAND VOLLEYBALL HERE!!!

We Sponsor any & all Sports TeamsFull Kitchen & Menu 11am - 11pmBook Parties Now! Great Drink Packages Available

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SIGN UP FOR OUR WINTER 6 ON 6 CO-ED TUESDAY NIGHT INDOOR VOLLEYBALL LEAGUE

WATCH ALL NFL, NCAA BIG TEN GAMES HERE!!!

Augie’s 6th Annual Golf Outing

@ White Pines Mon Sept 9th Benefi tting Make- A- Wish

Call for more info 773-296-0018$140 per golfer includes lunch, dinner, drinks, golf

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PBR PINTS

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Computer LogicA language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. "House" in French, is feminine…La maison." "Pencil in French, is masculine…le crayon." One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?" After think for a moment the teacher was unable to answer the question and could not fi nd the word in her French dictionary. So for fun, she split the class into two groups by gender and asked them to decide whether the word computer should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation. The boy's group decided that computer should defi nitely be of the feminine gender…la computer because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval. 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you fi nd yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine…le computer because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves. 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem. 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model.

The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.

Eleanor Roosevelt,Former First Lady of the United States

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DAILY DRINK AND FOOD SPECIALS!

KARAOKE EVERY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY 8PMBEARS JERSEY RAFFLE EVERY GAME

FREE BURGERS @ HALFTIME & DRINK and FOOD SPECIALS DURING THE GAME

WATCH ALL YOUR FAVORITE SPORTING EVENTS ON OUR 7 PLASMA TV’S AND 100” PROJECTION TV

NEED A SPORT SPONSOR? GIVE US A CALLLIQUOR/CONVENIENCE STORE ON PREMISESSTORE HOURS: MON - FRI: 7AM- 2AM

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PUB & EATERY3906 N Cicero Ave 773-736-2644

$2.50 Domestic Bottles for All BEARS Games

Complimentary Halftime Buffet**4 Drink Minimum


SEPTEMBER HOROSCOPEARIES: Ain't life grand? The weather's good, your work is cruising along, and the love of your life returns your affec-tions. It's scary. Be prepared for anything.

TAURUS: Your job can be like a road trip, and similar cau-tions apply. Don't take shortcuts or dangerous detours. Address situations that arise and don't speed.

GEMINI: When autumn leaves begin to fall, Mother Na-ture is making a change. Maybe it's time for you to do the same. Want to change an attitude, a goal, or a schedule?

CANCER: Soon there will be an opportunity to make a presentation or explain an idea. You could make a power-ful impression on co-workers. Your secret is confi dence.

LEO: The Labor Day weekend is the perfect opportunity for a short trip. Too late to make complicated arrange-ments? Sometimes it's better to just get in the car and go...safely.

VIRGO: Finding the right partner can be less important than being the right partner. Always assume that your loved ones are doing their best, though it may not seem so.

LIBRA: Some say we're in a risk-averse culture. People don't like to take a chance. But many leaders have to and you can do it to. Don't hesitate to speak out with ideas.

SCORPIO: A change is coming to your work area, and right now it's diffi cult to tell whether it will be in your favor. Give it time. Wait before coming to any conclusions.

SAGITTARIUS: An unexpected and expensive situation has come up. But you have the mental energy to handle it. Face it head on, though it will take time to fi nish it off.

CAPRICORN: Big projects require big efforts, but maybe the best plan you should have now is to get more sleep. Once you're bright and energetic, tackle your projects.

AQUARIUS: Insecurity is raising its nasty head in areas of your life and work. Step back now and remember who you are and what you can do. Move confi dently forward.

PISCES: If you feel uncomfortable with someone's self-expression, detach. You can't control or change this per-son, but you can control your reaction to what they say.

ASK A WINO...A Dear Ricky LetterA soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice since you’ve been gone, and it’s not fair to either of us. I’m sorry.Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.Love, Becky

The soldier, crushed, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pic-tures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in the envelope, along with his note:

Dear Becky,I’m so sorry, but I can’t quite remember who the hell you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.Take Care, Ricky

A golf club walks into a bar and orders a beer, but the bartender refuses to serve him.“Why not?” asks the golf club.“You'll be driving later.”

Wino: Butch CassidyProfession: Professional Golfer / Landscaper

Likes: Michael Jackson and break dancing

Dislikes: Toupees, bushy eyebrows and chest hair

Freddie asks: I drink quite and bit and it really pisses off my wife so I thought I might try to cut down. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit or break an old habit. Do you think there is any truth to that?

Wino: Freddie, I don’t know about any of that mumbo jumbo psyco babble. I do know I once got busy with a hooker over on the Southside and caught the crabs and it took me about 21 days to pull all them critters out of my curlies.

Melinda asks: I have put on a few pounds this year and I really want to lose the weight. There are so many fad diets out there that I don’t know which one to choose. Have you got any ideas on how I can get on the right track?

Wino: Come on down to the dive bar I hang out at. They got dollar PBR’s and a stripper pole – start swinging on that bad boy for a while and you’ll lose the weight in no time. It aint no thang I like em big round and juicy.

Sheldon asks: I’ve been working in an of-fi ce as an accountant for years and feel like I need to do something more hands on. I love animals and was thinking of vol-unteering at the local animal shelter, any thoughts?Wino: I once had this job called a Chicken Sexer. My job entailed determining the sex of newly hatched chicks by squeezing the poop out of the chicken and taking a peek for a small bump inside the chicken’s ass. If the bump was present it's a boy if it's not it's a girl. Just say the word and I’d be happy to call up my buddy and put in a good word for ya!


Mon, Tue 9a - 2a / Wed, Thur, Fri, Sun 11a - 4a / Sat 11a - 5a Carol’s Kitchen serves Hot Sandwiches Late!

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SEPTEMBER HOROSCOPEARIES: Ain't life grand? The weather's good, your work is cruising along, and the love of your life returns your affec-tions. It's scary. Be prepared for anything.

TAURUS: Your job can be like a road trip, and similar cau-tions apply. Don't take shortcuts or dangerous detours. Address situations that arise and don't speed.

GEMINI: When autumn leaves begin to fall, Mother Na-ture is making a change. Maybe it's time for you to do the same. Want to change an attitude, a goal, or a schedule?

CANCER: Soon there will be an opportunity to make a presentation or explain an idea. You could make a power-ful impression on co-workers. Your secret is confi dence.

LEO: The Labor Day weekend is the perfect opportunity for a short trip. Too late to make complicated arrange-ments? Sometimes it's better to just get in the car and go...safely.

VIRGO: Finding the right partner can be less important than being the right partner. Always assume that your loved ones are doing their best, though it may not seem so.

LIBRA: Some say we're in a risk-averse culture. People don't like to take a chance. But many leaders have to and you can do it to. Don't hesitate to speak out with ideas.

SCORPIO: A change is coming to your work area, and right now it's diffi cult to tell whether it will be in your favor. Give it time. Wait before coming to any conclusions.

SAGITTARIUS: An unexpected and expensive situation has come up. But you have the mental energy to handle it. Face it head on, though it will take time to fi nish it off.

CAPRICORN: Big projects require big efforts, but maybe the best plan you should have now is to get more sleep. Once you're bright and energetic, tackle your projects.

AQUARIUS: Insecurity is raising its nasty head in areas of your life and work. Step back now and remember who you are and what you can do. Move confi dently forward.

PISCES: If you feel uncomfortable with someone's self-expression, detach. You can't control or change this per-son, but you can control your reaction to what they say.


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dedAre You Smarter Than

CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”?

Answers

THE LIGHTER SIDE

Longevity QuestionsAfter two visits and exhaustive lab tests, my new doctor said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned, I asked him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

Then he asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine? Do you eat steaks and barbe-

cued ribs? Do you spend time in the sun playing golf, sailing, or bicycling?" I said no to all.He looked at me and asked, "Then why do you want to live to be 80?"

ScaredOne evening during a violent thun-derstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"The mother smiled. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Dad-dy's room."The little boy replied with a shaking voice, "The big sissy."

Growing Old TogetherAn old couple had been mar-ried for over 50 years. One morning they were sitting at the breakfast table when the wife said to her beloved husband, “Just think, fi fty years ago we were sitting at this same breakfast table to-gether.”

“I know,” replied the old man. “We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird, too!”“Well,” Granny snickered. “Let's shake it up and relive some old times.” Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat back down at the table.“You know, honey,” the little old lady breathlessly re-plied, “My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fi fty years ago.”“I wouldn't be surprised,” replied Gramps. “One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!”

“Friends” Trivia Quiz1. Which of the actors on "Friends" unfortunately decides to whit-en his teeth before going out on a fi rst date with a girl he's had a crush on for some time? a) Gunther b) Joey c) Ross d) Chandler2. When Rachel, Chandler and Ross are trying to carry Ross's new lounge up a fl ight of stairs that change direction half way, what is the word that Ross keeps shouting out to the other two? a) "Swing!" b) "Veer!" c) "Pivot!" d) "Turn!"3. This laughter evoking episode in season fi ve involves Ross fol-lowing Joey's advice, following his purchase of a new pair of trou-sers to wear out on a date. What sort of pants were they? a) Stretch jeans b) Leotards c) Knickerbockers d) Leather pants4. Season three presents a funny episode in which, to his horror, Chandler's male boss develops a habit of doing what? a) Slapping Chandler on the back of the head b) Giving Chandler bear hugs c) Kissing Chandler on the cheek d) Slapping Chandler on the backside5. Season four gives us an episode where all the friends politely listen to Ross's playing on the keyboard, a skill he's dreadful at. What does he call his musical creations? a) Symphonies b) Word-less sound poems c) Concertos d) Ross's Output6. In season 6, episode 7, Rachel tries to avoid being seen with Phoebe during which form of physical exercise in Central Park? a) Weightlifting b) Trampolining c) Bike riding d) Jogging7. At the beginning of the last season, what does Ross admire so much about Monica that he decides to get one of his own? a) Spray on tattoo b) Spray on tan c) Spray on hair color d) Spray on t-shirt8. Season 9 sees the friends traveling to Barbados to listen to Ross give a speech. What happens to Monica's hair here? a) It is ac-cidentally dyed orange b) It begins to fall out c) She has a shocking haircut d) It frizzes up like a giant afro in the humidity9. After Joey has moved out of Chandler's apartment in season two, Chandler takes in a new room mate who turns out to be rather peculiar. What is his name? a) Mikey b) Tommy c) Eddie d) Robbie10. In the last season, Monica and Rachel decide to throw a bach-elorette party for Phoebe before her wedding. At the last minute they hire a male stripper. Which unlikely looking actor plays him?a) Arnold Schwarzenegger b) Danny DeVito c) Donald Duck d) Sylvester Stallone

1. Ross2. “Pivot”3. Leather pants4. Slapping Chandler on the backside5. Wordless sound poems

6. Jogging7. Spray on tan 8. It frizzes up like a giant afro in the humidity9. Eddie10. Danny DeVito


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Longevity QuestionsAfter two visits and exhaustive lab tests, my new doctor said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned, I asked him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

Then he asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine? Do you eat steaks and barbe-

cued ribs? Do you spend time in the sun playing golf, sailing, or bicycling?" I said no to all.He looked at me and asked, "Then why do you want to live to be 80?"

ScaredOne evening during a violent thun-derstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"The mother smiled. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Dad-dy's room."The little boy replied with a shaking voice, "The big sissy."

Growing Old TogetherAn old couple had been mar-ried for over 50 years. One morning they were sitting at the breakfast table when the wife said to her beloved husband, “Just think, fi fty years ago we were sitting at this same breakfast table to-gether.”

“I know,” replied the old man. “We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird, too!”“Well,” Granny snickered. “Let's shake it up and relive some old times.” Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat back down at the table.“You know, honey,” the little old lady breathlessly re-plied, “My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fi fty years ago.”“I wouldn't be surprised,” replied Gramps. “One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!”

“Friends” Trivia Quiz1. Which of the actors on "Friends" unfortunately decides to whit-en his teeth before going out on a fi rst date with a girl he's had a crush on for some time? a) Gunther b) Joey c) Ross d) Chandler2. When Rachel, Chandler and Ross are trying to carry Ross's new lounge up a fl ight of stairs that change direction half way, what is the word that Ross keeps shouting out to the other two? a) "Swing!" b) "Veer!" c) "Pivot!" d) "Turn!"3. This laughter evoking episode in season fi ve involves Ross fol-lowing Joey's advice, following his purchase of a new pair of trou-sers to wear out on a date. What sort of pants were they? a) Stretch jeans b) Leotards c) Knickerbockers d) Leather pants4. Season three presents a funny episode in which, to his horror, Chandler's male boss develops a habit of doing what? a) Slapping Chandler on the back of the head b) Giving Chandler bear hugs c) Kissing Chandler on the cheek d) Slapping Chandler on the backside5. Season four gives us an episode where all the friends politely listen to Ross's playing on the keyboard, a skill he's dreadful at. What does he call his musical creations? a) Symphonies b) Word-less sound poems c) Concertos d) Ross's Output6. In season 6, episode 7, Rachel tries to avoid being seen with Phoebe during which form of physical exercise in Central Park? a) Weightlifting b) Trampolining c) Bike riding d) Jogging7. At the beginning of the last season, what does Ross admire so much about Monica that he decides to get one of his own? a) Spray on tattoo b) Spray on tan c) Spray on hair color d) Spray on t-shirt8. Season 9 sees the friends traveling to Barbados to listen to Ross give a speech. What happens to Monica's hair here? a) It is ac-cidentally dyed orange b) It begins to fall out c) She has a shocking haircut d) It frizzes up like a giant afro in the humidity9. After Joey has moved out of Chandler's apartment in season two, Chandler takes in a new room mate who turns out to be rather peculiar. What is his name? a) Mikey b) Tommy c) Eddie d) Robbie10. In the last season, Monica and Rachel decide to throw a bach-elorette party for Phoebe before her wedding. At the last minute they hire a male stripper. Which unlikely looking actor plays him?a) Arnold Schwarzenegger b) Danny DeVito c) Donald Duck d) Sylvester Stallone

1. Ross2. “Pivot”3. Leather pants4. Slapping Chandler on the backside5. Wordless sound poems

6. Jogging7. Spray on tan 8. It frizzes up like a giant afro in the humidity9. Eddie10. Danny DeVito


Sunday 9/1Windy City Rib ClassicTheater on the Lake (Fullerton Beach), 2401 N Lake Shore, ChicagoThis Labor Day Weekend Chicago will host 30 BBQ Pit Masters in a REAL BBQ Competition! Teams from across the US will fi re up their smokers in a No Gas, No Electricity competition for the title of Grand Champion. Set to the beautiful backdrop of Chicago's Lakeshore and city scape at historical Soldier Field; this competition prom-ises to give everyone who comes out an authentic experience of BBQ done right, right here in the Windy City!

Friday 9/6 – Saturday 9/7Windy City Wine Festival200 N Columbus Drive, ChicagoThere are no additional handling or processing fees for online orders. Ad-mission ticket good for either day. This ticket includes a souvenir wine glass, 12 tastings, one pint of any beer avail-able at the festival, Food & Wine seminars, musical entertainment, and the opportunity to purchase wine at a discount.

Friday 9/6 – Sunday 9/8Festival de La Villita (Little Village Festival)26th St. and Kostner Ave, ChicagoHeld in Chicago's Little Village neigh-borhood, this 24th annual community cultural event celebrates Mexico's independence from Spanish rule. Highlights include food, arts & crafts, music, carnival rides and kids' enter-tainment.

Friday 9/6 – Sunday 9/8German America FestN Western Ave & N Lincoln AveThis annual event celebrates all things German. Traditional interactive cultur-al programs, music, dancing, and of course great food and beverages will be available for your enjoyment at this three day festival in our city's Lincoln Square neighborhood.

Saturday 9/723rd Annual Historic Route 66 Car Show Ogden Avenue between Oak Park & Ridge-land Avenues, BerwynThe 23rd Annual Berwyn Rt66 Car Show sponsored by Paisans Pizzeria & Bar has always been a great Route 66 town with a thriving, dynamic and fast-growing commu-nity at its heart. Stand on Historic Route 66 and see over 500 vintage and custom cars, trucks and motorcycles.

Saturday 9/7Guinness Oyster Fest2000 W Roscoe St, ChicagoHeralding the unoffi cial start of autumn (offi -cially September 22), the 15th annual Guin-ness Oyster Fest in Roscoe Village features fresh oysters, arts & crafts, kids' activities, beer and live music. Music Headliners Main Stage: Rusted Root Damen Stage: Tommy Malone of The Subdudes.

Friday 9/13 – Sunday 9/15Riot Fest Humboldt Park, 1440 N HumboldtThis festival moved outdoors for the fi rst time in 2012 and is returning to Humboldt Park for three days in 2013! More infor-mation to be announced closer to festival dates. The Lineup Fall Out Boy, Blink 182, Violent Femmes, Motörhead, Rancid, AFI, Sublime with Rome Blondie, and more.

Saturday 9/14 – Sunday 9/15Crush in Old TownNorth Ave and Wells St, ChicagoThis annual post-Labor Day event takes a twist in 2013. In addition to wine tastings, music and arts & crafts, local restaurants will be featuring special pasta dishes on their fest menus!

Saturday 9/21 – Sunday 9/22 Dicken’s FestN Lincoln Ave and N Cleveland AveThis festival takes place at the intersection of Dickens, Lincoln Ave and Cleveland Ave, and features a selection of awesome food, drinks and live music. During the day they’ll also have activities to keep the children busy while mommy and daddy get their drink on! However, if you’d like to bring a copy of Tom Sawyer, we’d tell you not to since that wasn’t written by Charles Dick-ens.

Saturday 9/21- Sunday 9/22Taco Fest3500 N Southport AveThe glorious taco will get the spotlight it has long deserved when the tortilla-wrapped fave is celebrated at this inau-gural festival that kicks off on the fi rst day of autumn! Featuring multiple fl avor com-binations, this new September happening on the Southport Corridor is guaranteed to be a popular addition to the food fest scene. There will also be special beer and taco pairings, and you'll be able to text your vote for Chicago's "Best Taco."

Thursday 9/26Salsa at the ZooLincoln Park Zoo, Cannon Drive at Fullerton Parkway, ChicagoLearn a variety of salsa steps with the help of a trained dance instructor who will teach introductory steps to the world's most romantic dance. Later show off your fancy moves to a live salsa band! Food and drink available for purchase.

Friday 9/27 – Sunday 9/29Chicago GourmetMillennium Park201 E Randolph St, ChicagoCome celebrate! Chicago Gourmet, pre-sented by Bon Appétit magazine, is a cel-ebration of food and wine in Millennium Park. Guests enjoy gourmet food, wine, spirits, and beer tastings, live cooking demos, educational seminars, and more. What's more, the popular Hamburger Hop event kicks off the weekend, and an exclusive Grand Cru offers tastings of some of the fi nest wines in the world.

Friday 9/27 – Sunday 9/29Oktoberfest ChicagoSt. Alphonsus Church1429 W Wellington Ave, ChicagoThis popular annual fest in our city's West Lakeview neighborhood welcomes fall and benefi ts the local parish. The 13th Oktoberfest Chicago at St. Alphon-sus features food, libations, music/enter-tainment on two stages and arts & crafts. Also early on Sunday afternoon, bring your children to the "Kinderfest" for fami-ly-friendly activities.

TO DO IN SEPTEMBER


SUDOKURules: Every row, column and 3x3 box must have numbers 1 to 90

APPETIZERSBEERBREADCAKECLEANCOCKTAILSCOOKINGCOOKWAREDATEDECORATIONS

It’s a Party

DESSERTFAVORSFLOWERSGAMESGARNISHESGLASSWAREGUEST LISTLOCATIONMEATMENU

MUSICNAPKINSPLATESSALADSERVERSSIDESTABLECLOTHTHEMETIMEWINE

WORD SEARCH


Trivia Every Monday

The Beetle2532 W Chicago Ave, Chicago

Buffalo Wild Wings7020 Carpenter Rd, Chicago

Kirkwood Bar & Grill2934 N Sheffi eld Ave, Chicago

Every TuesdayThe Reservoir

844 W Montrose Ave, ChicagoSchubas Tavern

3159 N Southport Ave, ChicagoSheffi eld's

3258 N Sheffi eld Ave, Chicago The Garage Bar & Sandwiches

6154 N Milwaukee Ave, Chicago

Every WednesdayFizz Bar & Grill

3220 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago

Four Farthings (8:00pm)2060 N Cleveland Ave, Chicago

Every ThursdayFizz Bar & Grill

3220 N Lincoln Ave, ChicagoRockit Burger Bar

3700 N Clark St, Chicago

Open MicEvery Tuesday

Four Treys (10:00pm)3333N Damen, ChicagoPressure Billiards & Cafe 6318 N Clark St, Chicago

Every ThursdayRed Line Tap

7006 N Glenwood Ave, Chicago

Every Sunday Kitchen Sink

1107 W Berwyn Ave, Chicago

KaraokeEvery Tuesday

Bonsai Bar & Lounge 3503 N Halsted St, Chicago

Every ThursdayCarol’s Pub (9:00pm-4:00am)

4659 N Clark, ChicagoFour Farthings (9:30pm)

2060 N Cleveland Ave, Chicago

Every FridayMCM Pub & Eatery (8:00pm)3906 N Cicero Ave, Chicago

Peek Inn (9:00pm)2825 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago

Every SaturdayFour Farthings (10:30pm)

2060 N Cleveland Ave, ChicagoFour Treys (10:00pm)

3333 N Damen, Chicago MCM Pub & Eatery (8:00pm)3906 N Cicero Ave, Chicago

Dueling PianosEvery Thursday,

Friday & Saturday Sluggers(9:00pm)

3540 N Clark, Chicago

Call 773-288-9400 to list your Trivia,

Karaoke, Open Mic, and Dueling Piano Nights


CLUB BELMONT

The Booze is Cheap & The Entertainment is Free!!!

Sick and Wrong!!!

LANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUB

BIKES, BABES

& BOOZE

7844 W. Belmont773.589.2808 5135 N. Oriole

Harwood Heights 708.867.6533

Big John’s

Patio and BeerPatio and BeerGardensGardens

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Glascott’s 2158 N. Halsted Lincoln Park El Jardin 3335 N Clark St WrigleyvilleFour Farthings 2060 N. Cleveland Lincoln ParkSlugger’s 3540 N. Clark St WrigleyvilleMo Daily’s 6070 N. Northwest Hwy Norwood ParkAugie’s 1721 W. Wrightwood Lincoln ParkKelly’s Pub 949 W Webster Liincoln Park


who’s your

favorite

bartender?

AUGUST BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS...

Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The service employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine “Like” our page and “Like” the bartender’s photo.Only two votes are counted per person and voting polls close on September 20th. *The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service

CONGRATULATIONS

JESSICARIVER SHANNON425 W Armitage“It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money.”

traWXVOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE SEPTEMBER BARTENDER

Go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine & ‘Like’

the page and ‘Like’ or comment on the bartenders photo or text 773.288.9400.

The winner will receive a 4 hour limo bus from LIMOSALIVE.NET for 24 of their friends.

Bartender: DanielleAugie’s Booze & Schmooze1721 W Wrightwood Ave, ChicagoSignature Drink: Pineapple Fizz. Ingredients: Rumchata, Captain Morgan, Pineapple Juice Words of Wisdom: "When life hands you lemons, just chill some vodka and have some shots!"

Bartender: JohnThe Dog’s Bollox3210 N Lincoln Ave, ChicagoSignature Drink: The Heat-A-RitaIngredients: Infused Tequila, 3 Different Pep-pers, Essence of a Burnt Orange, CointreauWords of Wisdom: “Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.”

Bartender: ElizabethCopper House4337 N Lincoln Ave, ChicagoSignature Drink: Brides MaidIngredients: Hendricks Gin, Blueberry Shrub, Blood Orange Bitters, Soda Water, Orange Twist Words of Wisdom: “The worse you are at


Looking for a fall vacation that won’t break the bank? Well don’t look much further, because we have a trip in mind that will keep you running circles; The Lake Michigan Circle Tour! We recently took this trip on a Harley, but without a doubt this trip would be equally beautiful by car. No trip north is complete without spending a day and night in one of the many beautiful cities in the North Woods of Wisconsin. We opted for Eagle River, the site of the fi rst perma-nent Indian settlement in the Wisconsin Northwood's, located on the shores of Watersmeet Lake where the Wisconsin River and Chain 0' Lakes meet. Whether you are looking to catch a trophy-sized musky, spend a day strolling along one of Eagle River's charming streets donned with delightful shops, or treat your taste buds to a meal at an award winning restaurant, Eagle River offers something for ev-eryone. After checking in for the night we made our way to the River-stone Restaurant & Tavern in Eagle River's historic downtown. The restaurant has been selected by Wine Spectator Magazine for their Award of Excellence since 2004 as “One of the Best Restaurants in the World for Wine Lovers.” From artisan hearth breads, to squash ravioli with apple vodka sauce, and a fi nale of crème brule, we were thoroughly delighted with our dining experience. On return to our resort we stopped for a nightcap at a small tavern where we were welcomed by locals and put on a path to our next adventure, Bond Falls, one of those "best kept secret" spots on the Western Upper Peninsula that you want to make sure you do not miss. This beauti-ful water fall is located on the middle branch of the Ontonagon River near Paulding. Although it does not get the "press" of more famous U.P. water falls, Bond Falls has a large following of admirers and had even been part of a calendar listing the most scenic natural places in the world! After some hiking and photographing, we were off and driving along the shores of Lake Superior on our way to our fi nal destination of the day, Mackinaw Island. “One of The Top 10 Islands in The World”, Mackinaw is an island on Lake Huron suspended in a forgotten, more innocent time. Mackinac Island offers breathtaking coastal views and private carriage tours where guides share the rich history of the island. One of the few places unscathed by motorized vehicles, it is a place to relax and get back to a simpler way of life. After a day and night of taking in this beautiful treasure and a stop to one of the many famous fudge shops for a souvenir, we were back on a short ferry ride and headed for dry land to continue our adven-ture. Next destination; Traverse City. The Traverse City area is the largest producer of tart cherries in the United States and features varied natural attractions, including freshwater beaches, vineyards, a National Lakeshore, downhill skiing areas, and numerous forests. It is a great spot to stay a night and with the many shops and lo-cal restaurants (everything in the downtown area must be locally owned) it has the feel of a small urban city. In 2012, the city was listed among the 10 best places to retire in the U.S. by U.S. News. The next morning our plan was to drive the remainder of the Michi-gan coast and land in Chicago for the night, but a wrong turn took us on a delightful detour along the coast of the small peninsula to the left of Traverse City. About a three hour drive through beautiful countryside, beach towns with clear blue waters as pristine as the Caribbean and vineyard after vineyard, it was a delay well worth experiencing. We fi nished our trip with a fi nal night on beautiful Lake Geneva relaxing and taking in the view. This is a trip anyone living within an hour of the Great Lakes can easily make by car or motor-cycle and with lodging and dining available to fi t any budget, it’s an adventure to add to the top of your bucket list!

By: Lisa Romack

Circle Tour Around Lake MichiganA FALL GET AWAY


Out & About

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In America, Labor Day is celebrated the fi rst Monday of each Sep-tember. Because it's the last major holiday before the onset of autumn, it's generally seen as the last chance to enjoy the slowly deteriorating summer season.

Whether or not you know it, Labor Day mainly celebrates you, your work and your contributions to our na-tion. Worldwide, it's the only holiday that does not celebrate a heroic leader or historic event.

The three-day weekend offers an opportunity to step away from your business, your work at a store, hospital, offi ce or plant. You can rest and recharge your batteries and enjoy activities with your family that will soon be impractical as a result of the changing season and busy schedules.

The original intent of Labor Day was to pro-vide a holiday that would honor the social and economic achievements of American workers, and it continues doing that today. It was also intended to provide a day of rest between the Fourth of July and Thanksgiv-ing holiday.

Some historians say that in 1882, Mat-thew Maguire, a machinist, fi rst proposed the holiday while serving as secretary of the Central Labor Union of New York. On September 5, some 10,000 workers in New York City participated in America's fi rst La-bor Day parade.

Others historians argue that it was fi rst pro-posed by Peter J. McGuire of the American Federation of Labor in the same year, after he witnessed the annual Canadian labor festival held in Toronto, Ontario.

Whoever was the founder, thank you and enjoy the well-deserved time off!

Labor Day: It’s All About YOU

The Four TreysTavern


Out & About

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BAR DIRECTORYWhere are you going tonight?:

Lakeview East - Wrigleyville - Southport

Bar Celona 3474 N. Clark 773-244-8000

Bendan’s Pub 3169 N. Broadway 773-929-2929

Bernie’s 3664 N Clark 773-525-1898

Big City 1010 W. Belmot 773-935-1138

Blarney Stone 3424 N. Sheffi eld 773-348-1078

Brew & View 3145 N. Sheffi eld 773-929-7150

Buck’s Saloon 3439 N. Halsted 773-525-1125

Clark Street Bar 3040 N. Clark 773-281-6690

Coobah 3423 N. Southport 773-528-2220

Cubby Bear 1059 W Addison 773-327-1662

Cullen’s Bar 3741 N. Southport 773-975-0600

Dram Shop 3040 N. Broadway 773-549-4401

Fiesta Cantina 3407 N. Clark 773-975-5980

Friar Tucks 3010 N. Broadway 773-327-5101

Full Shilling 3724 N. Clark 773-248-3330

Goose Island 3535 N. Clark 773-832-9040

Higgins Tavern 3259 N. Racine 773-281-7637

Holiday Club 4000 N. Sheridan 773-348-9600

Irish Oak 3511 N. Clark

Jack’s Bar 2856 N Southport 773-404-8400

Jacklyn’s Bar 3400 N. Broadway 773-404-5149

Jake’s Pub 2932 N Clark 773-248-3318

Joe’s On Broadway 3563 N Broadway 773-528-1054

John Barleycorns 3524 N. Clark 773-549-6000

Justin’s 3358 N Southport 773-929-4844

Kit Kat Lounge 3700 N Halsted 773-525-1111

L&L Tavern 3207 N. Clark 773-528-1303

Little Jim’s 3501 N. Halsted 773-871-6116

Lucky’s 3 472 N. Clark 773-549-0665

Mad River 2909 N. Sheffi eld 773-935-7500

Matilda 3101 N Sheffi eld 773-883-4400

Matisse 674 W. Diversey 773-528-6670

Merkles 3516 N Clark 773-244-1025

Metro Smart Bar 3730 N Clark 773-549-4140

Monsignor Murphys 3019 N. Broadway 773-348-7285

Mullen’s 3527 N Clark 773-325-2319

Murphys Bleachers 3655 N. Sheffi eld 773-281-5356

Mystic Celt 3443 N. Southport 773-529-8550

Newport Bar 1344 W Newport 773-325-9111

Nick’s Uptown 4015 N Sheridan 773-975-1155

North End 3733 N Halsted 7 73-477-7999

Paddy Long’s 1028 W Diversey 773-348-9711

Parrots Bar 754 W Wellington 773-281-7878

Piano Bar 3801 N. Clark 773-528-4033

Raw Bar & Grill 3720 N Clark St 773-348-7291

Rebel Bar 3462 N. Clark 773-348-9084

Redmond’s 3358 N Sheffi eld 773-404-2151

Roadhouse 66 3330 N. Clark 773-525-8166

Rockit Bar 3700 N.Clark 773-645-4400

Rocks 3463 N. Broadway 773-472-0493

Roscoe’s 3356 N. Halsted 773-281-3355

Schoolyard 3258 N Southport 773-528-8226

Schubas Tavern 3159 N Southport 773-525-2508

Sheffi eld’s 3258 N Sheffi eld 773-281-4989

Sidetracks 3349 N. Halsted 773-477-9189

Sluggers 3540 N Clark 773-248-0055

Smart Bar 3730 N Clark 773-549-4140

Sopo 3418 N. Southport 773-348-0100

Southport Lanes 3325 N. Southport 773-472-6600

Sports Corner 952 W. Addison 773-929-1441

Take 5 Bar 3747. Southport 773-871-5555

Toon’s 3857 N. Southport 773-935-1919

Town Hall Pub 3340 N Halsted 773-472-4405

Trace 3714 N. Clark 773-477-3400

Trader Todd’s 3216 N Sheffi eld 773-348-3250

Vaughans Pub 2917 N. Sheffi eld 773-281-8188

Vines 3554 N. Clark 773-327-8572

Wrigleyville North 3900 N Sheridan 773-929-9543

Yak-Zies Bar 3710 N Clark 773-525-9200

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McGinny's Tap 313 W. North 773-943-5228

Mickey's 2450 N. Clark 773-435-0007

O' Brien's 1528 N. Wells 312-787-3131

Old Town Ale 219 W. North 773-944-7020

Old Town Pub 1339 N. Wells 773-266-6789

O'Malley's West 2249 N. Lincoln 773-935-2719

Orso's 1401 N. Wells 773-787-6604

Ravens 2326 N. Clark 773-348-1774

River Shannon 425 W. Armitage 773-944-5087

Rocks 1301 W. Schubert 773-472-7728

Saluki Bar 1208 N. Wells 773-274-1824

Suite Lounge 1446 N. Wells 773-787-6106

The Apartment 2251 N. Lincoln 773-348-5100

The Local Option 1102 W. Webster 773-348-2008

The Other Side 2436 N. Clark 773-525-8238

Tin Lizzie 2483 N. Clark 773-549-1132

Tonic Room 2447 N. Halsted 773-248-8400

Weeds 1555 N. Dayton 312-943-7815

Wellingtons 1300 W. Wellington 773-528-0654

Wise Fools Pub 2270 N. Lincoln 773-929-1300

Witts 2913 N. Lincoln 773-528-7032

Wrightwood Tap 1059 W. Wrightwood 773-459-4949

BAR DIRECTORY Where are you going tonight?:

Lincoln Park & Old TownAugie's 1721 W. Wrightwood 773-296-0018

Bird's Nest 2500 N. Southport 773-472-1502

Blue's 2519 N. Halsted 773-525-8317

Burton's Place 1447 N. Wells 773-664-4699

Burwood Tap 7242 W. Wrightwood 773-525-2593

Clybar 2 417 N. Clybourn 773-388-1877

Corcoran's 1615 N. Wells 773-440-0885

Delilah's 2771 N. Lincoln 773-472-2771

Duffy's 422 W. Diversey 773-549-9090

Durkin's 810 W. Diversey 773-525-2515

Elbo Room 2817 N. Lincoln 773-549-5549

Field House Pub 2455 N. Clark 773-348-6489

Four Farthings 2060 N. Cleveland 773-935-2060

Frank's 2503 N. Clark 773-549-2700

Galway Arms 2442 N. Clark 773-472-5555

Gamekeepers 345 W. Armitage 773-549-0400

Glascott's 2158 N. Halsted 773-281-1205

Goose Island 1800 N. Clybourn 773-915-0071

Halligan's Pub 2274 N. Lincoln 773-472-7940

Halsted Harp 2138 N. Halsted 773-348-3665

Hidden Shamrock 2732 N. Lincoln 773-883-0304

Irish Eyes 2519 N. Lincoln 773-348-9548

Joe's Sports Bar 940 W. Weed 773-337-3486

John Barleycorn 2300 N. Lincoln 773-348-8899

John's Place 1200 W. Webster 773-525-6670

Kelly's Pub 949 W. Webster 773-281-0656

Kendall's Pub 2263 N. Lincoln 773-348-7200

Kincade's 950 W. Armitage 773-348-0010

Kingston Mines 2548 N. Halsted 773-477-4646

Lincoln Station 2432 N. Lincoln 773-472-8100

Lincoln Tap 3010 N. Lincoln 773-868-0060

Lion Head Pub 2251 N. Lincoln 773-348-5100

Max Bar 2247 N. Lincoln 773-549-5884

McGee's 950 W. Webster 773-549-8200


BAR DIRECTORYWhere are you going tonight?:BAR DIRECTORY Where are you going tonight?:

Lincoln Park & Old Town Northwest Paddy Macks 4157 N. Pulaski 773-279-9300

Rabbits 4945 W Foster 773-736-5766

Roman’s 6448 N. Milwaukee 773-467-9827

Sidekicks 4424 W Montrose 773-545-6212

Six Penny Bit 5800 W. Montrose 773-545-2033

Thatch Pub 5707 N. Milwaukee 773-763-8179

Three Counties 5856 N. Milwaukee 773-631-3351

Tommy’s 6954 W Higgins 773-631-4451

Trinity Pub 5943 N. Northwest 773-763-0095

Vaughan’s Pub 5485 Northwest 773-631-9206

Windsor Tavern 4530 N. Milwaukee 773-736-3400

Zachary’s 5368 N Milwaukee 773-792-0933

Babe’s 4416 N. Milwaukee 773-545-3137

Bill’s Pub 4104 N. Pulaski 773-202-0020

Brigadoon 5748 W Lawrence 773.777.2403

Cabaret Lounge 6101 W. Montrose 773-736-2337

Casual Tap 5924 W Montrose 773-283-9490

Charlotte’s Bar 6000 W Gunnison 773-775-3616

Club Belmont 7844 W. Belmont 773-598-2808

Di’s Den 5100 W Irving Park 773-736-7170

Dugan’s 6051 N. Milwaukee 773-467-5555

Edison Park Inn 6713 N. Olmsted 773-775-1404

Emerald Isle Pub 2537 W Peterson 773-561-6674

Fantasy Lounge 4400 N Elston 773-685-8083

Filonek’s 6213 N. Milwaukee 773-775-5010

Galvin’s Public 5901 W Lawrence 773-205-0570

Gladstone’s 5734 N. Milwaukee 773-763-3385

Ham Tree Inn 5333 N. Milwaukee 773-792-2072

Harry’s On Elston 5943 N. Elston 773-774-4166

Harwood Bar 6438 W. Montrose 708-867-7781

Hops N Barley 4359 N Milwaukee 773-286-7415

Jet’s Public Hou 6148 N. Milwaukee 773-775-7587

Jimmy Macks 5581 N. Northwest 773-631-1466

Joe E’s Lounge 4206 W Irving Park 773-283-3422

Landmark Pub 5135 N. Oriole 773-867-6533

Lasko’s 5525 N Milwaukee 773-774-9800

Lizard Lounge 3058 W. Irving Park 773-463-7599

Margaret’s 5134 W. Irving Park 773-685-4493

Mary’s Place 6300 N. Milwaukee 773-775-7587

MCM Pub 3906 N. Cicero 773-736-2644

McNamaras 4328 W Irving Park 773-725-1800

Mo Dailey’s 6070 N. Northwest Hwy 773-774-6121

Moretti’s 6727 N. Olmsted 773-631-1223

Mrs. O’Leary’s 4368 N. Milwaukee 773-427-7300

Mug Shots 7718 W. Addison 773-625-8466

Murrays 5522 N Elston 773-774-3466

Night Caps 5007 W Irving Park 773-282-8654

Nil’s Tap 5734 N. Elston 773-594-1288

Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness, understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.Og Mandino, Author Of Inspirational Books

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Lakeview West/ Roscoe Village / North-Center / Lincoln Square / Albany Park / Ravenswood Andersonvile

240 Lounge 3948 W. Lawrence 773-267-0474

42 Latitude 3341 N Western 773-910-1473

Abbey Pub 3420 W. Grace 773-478-4408

Atlantic Bar 5062 N. Lincoln 773-506-7090

Bad Dog 4535 N. Lincoln 773-334-4040

Big Joe’s 1818 W Foster 773-784-8755

Black Rock 3614 N. Damen 773-348-4044

Brendan’s Too 3135 W. Montrose 773-463-2771

Brownstone 3937 N. Lincoln 773-528-3700

Carol’s Pub 4659 N Clark 773-334-2402

Celtic Crown 4301 N. Western 773-588-1110

Chicago Joe's 2256 W. Irving 773-478-7000

Chief O'Neills 3471 N. Elston 773-583-3066

Christina's Place 3759 N. Kedzie 773-463-1768

Claddagh Ring 2306 W. Foster 773-271-4794

Cody's Public House 1658 W. Barry 773-528-4050

Daily's Bar 4560 N. Lincoln 773-561-6198

Farraguts 5240 N Clark 773-728-4903

Finley Dunnes 3458 N. Lincoln 773-477-7311

Fizz 3220 N. Lincoln 773-348-6000

Foley's 1841 W. Irving 773-929-1210

Four Moon 1847 W. Roscoe 773-929-6666

Four Shadows 2758 N. Ashland 773-248-9160

Four Trey's Pub 3333 N. Damen 773-549-8845

Fuller's Pub 3203 W. Irving 773-478-8060

Gio’s 4857 N. Damen 773-334-0345

Hidden Cove 5336 N. Lincoln 773-275-3955

Hidden Cove 5338 N. Lincoln 773-275-6711

Horseshoe 4115 N. Lincoln 773-248-1366

Huetten Bar 4721 N. Lincoln 773-561-2507

Jury's 4337 N. Lincoln 773-935-2255

Katerina's 1902 W. Irving 773-348-7592

Keenan O' Reilly's 3916 N. Ashland 773-857-3800

Leadway Bar 5233 N. Damen 773-728-2663

Long Room 1612 W. Irving 773-665-4500

Margie's Pub 4145 N. Lincoln 773-477-1644

Mulligan's 2000 W. Roscoe 773-549-4225

Mutiny 2428 N. Western 773-486-7774

Oakwood 83 1969 W. Montrose 773-327-2785

O'Donovan's 2100 W. Irving 773-478-2100

O'Lanagan 2335 W. Montrose 773-583-2252

Peek Inn 2825 W. Irving Park 773-267-5197

Rail Bar 4709 N Damen 773-878-9400

Richochet's 4644 N. Lincoln 773-271-3127

Riverview 1958 W. Roscoe 773-871-1200

Roscoe Villiage Pub 2159 W. Addison 773-472-6160

Save More Lounge 4060 N. Lincoln 773-281-1444

Side Street 1456 W. George 773-327-1127

Silvie's 1902 W. Irving 773-871-6239

Small Bar 2956 N. Albany 773-509-9888

Stadium West 3188 N. Elston 773-866-2450

Ten Cat Tavern 3931 N. Ashland 773-935-5377

The Temple 3001 N. Ashland 773-248-0990

Uptown Lounge 1136 W. Lawrence 773-878-1136

Villiage Tap 2055 W. Roscoe 773-883-0817

Waterhouse 3407 N. Paulina 773-871-1200

Wild Goose 4265 N. Lincoln 773-281-7112

Windy City Inn 2257 W. Irving 773-588-7088


TA L E S F RO M T H E C H R I S

By Rob ChristiansenThe gang plays verbal handball and I’m the wall. We’re in my ga-rage. I had just met Margaret yes-terday.“Margaret’s his aunt,” Skip says.“Take Margaret to the prom next year,” Rick says.“She’ll fi nd out Lyle can’t square dance,” Nick says.“Margaret is Lyle’s aunt,” Rick says. “His antique car.”

“Nice try, Rick,” Skip says.I stand in front of Margaret’s house, many years later, and gaze upon a lush lawn on steroids. I used to mow a lackluster version of this 60’ x 100’ property, here in the “fl ower” section of my hometown. She pulls up in a Beetle alongside me on Clover Lane. She has big, white sunglasses on. Her bare forearm rests on the window frame, her svelte left hand coolly on display outside the door. Her fi ngers lack jewelry or visible nail polish. She’s wearing a thin silver watch. I never heard her coming, thanks to the lawn mower shin guard. It makes more noise than the Delgiorno’s garage band. Dad said if he hears them play past nine o’clock he’ll call the police. “Tie some string from the hole in the plate to the handle,” she says. Her age is preceded by her beauty, so she’s pretty old. I’m grass-stained and sweaty, headed home for a shower and an iced tea. She’s at least fi ve years my senior. That’s why I don’t feel awkward. My posture fl ows like waves on Jones Beach. Rick swears he can hear them at night from his roof, but he’s got to be kidding. I’m all about business. She asks about price. “Three dollars.” Clover Lane is a 1/6 mile straightaway that meets boomerang-shaped Orchid Lane on the east. Margaret drives her sun-yellow bullpen car to the stop sign whose primary purpose is to give the Ichkows peace of mind. Not once had she glanced at her watch. Her brake lights turn brighter red. She won’t end up in their front yard. No vehicle has, but to all comers the yard presents an unintentional invitation. I live two doors past the Ichkows. The Delgiornos are our next door neighbors on the other side. “When do you cut Margaret’s grass?”“Wednesday afternoon.”“Where does Margaret live?”“On Bluebell.” “You obey like a husband,” Skip says critically, watching me take Margaret’s advice. “Margaret must love B.O.,” Nick says.“She’ll tell you what else to do,” Skip says cryptically. “Women want smelly landscapers,” Rick says. “Not really, Rick,” Skip says. “I don’t landscape,” I say, and demonstrate my completed project. “Margaret doesn’t care if you don’t do topiary,” Rick says.

Summer of Me and You“What?” Nick asks.“Margaret’s his aunt,” Skip says. “You know, there’s a part you’re missing holds the guard up while you’re walking.” My parents are selling, and that’s why I came back. “We all came back to Brylcreem.” Sorry, that’s a line from a commercial that played during Mets games when I lived in Levittown. No one ever confused Brylcreem with ice cream, unlike what goes on today. I felt helpless this morning in my parents’ house. I can’t be a hero and buy it. The taxes are dream killers and I live across the pond. Actu-ally, Lake Michigan is no pond. My nose is so close to the grindstone in Chicago I can’t see anything, and I don’t swim in the pond. But I saw dad’s Japanese dwarfed lace leaf maple and the close-to-the-house dogwood trees. I saw the ghosts of the mimosa and pin oak felled long ago. I used to mow circles around those trees and the “centerpiece” lace leaf maple too. I would rather have stayed inside with the air conditioning and watched the Game of The Week on NBC. But I wouldn’t dishonor my father by watching baseball on Saturday while he mowed the lawn instead.I knock on Margaret’s screen door. The kitchen door behind it is al-ready open wide. She answers. Salutations usually aren’t part of my protocol. “Hi,” I say. “I’m here.”“You’re reliable.” “I rigged it with fi shing line. The shin guard. It works great. Thanks.”“Why…you’re welcome.” The red Toro roaring like rock music overwhelming my senses, I re-play events in my garage yesterday. No one had picked up on “hus-band.” Skip probably had slipped up. He, Nick and Rick are pushing me on Margaret. I can face my secret fear of mowing over a toad. But I shudder to think of telling Margaret of my desire for her. The shin guard can’t guard against my fear of telling her that to her face. I’m glad I misled them about when I’d be here. I don’t need witnesses to a snooze fest. I feel ill just thinking that maybe I might possibly even try to be forward with Margaret when I go collect my three dol-lars. Still, I appreciate the gang’s encouragement. It would be awe-some to take a wholesome, blonde-haired woman in her twenties like Margaret to the prom…next year. I knock softly on the screen door and someone in the kitchen ap-proaches. She peers at me through the screen. Her hair is dark. “I was wondering if you would come up, Lyle,” she says kindly. “You were standing on the sidewalk for fi ve minutes.” Margaret invites me in and we sit at her table. I had sat here years ago and drank a glass of iced tap water.I wait a few minutes to steel my courage before pursuing my three dollars. This time, I feel awkward, and I hope Margaret has a boy-friend and that he answers the door. I’ll be off the hook. No such luck. Margaret invites me in. “Rock the Boat” plays, the a.c. is on. Margaret tells me to wait and leaves the kitchen. On the table is an opened letter from the DMV. Margaret is twenty six—a year older than an antique car. “Would you like something to drink?” she suddenly asks me. I turn. I face her.


Dear LaLa, My boyfriend and I are in our early 30s and have been in a seri-ous relationship for two years. He is choosing not to go on a vacation with my family and I am incredibly hurt and angry. He says he can’t afford it, but the costs are minimal and it would only require him to take two days off. He’s just not getting how important family is to me and how much I want him to be a part of that. Is this something I should just get over and go without him, or is it a sign of bigger problems?

California CarlyDear Carly, Uhh… it sounds like he

just wants to save money. If the vacay costs are low, can you pay for his end? When one is tight on cash, a few hundred dollars can make a big difference. Loosing a couple days worth of work can be worth a bill or two. Even if you force him to go on this trip, he’s not going to be able to enjoy himself if he’s pinching pennies, or worried about the fi nances when he gets back. So, the question is, why are you not satisfi ed with his answer? Why are you get-ting so hurt, even with a legit excuse?

Dear LaLa, I have been dating a girl for about six months now and she has two small children ages 2 and 6. I really care for her although her parenting skills (or lack thereof) are really taking a toll on my patience. When I try to talk to her about it she just shuts me down and says that I only feel that way because they are not my own. They aren't bad kids, she just needs to set some boundaries. Am I in a losing battle here?Impatient PeterDear Impatient, Generally, people are not open to taking ad-vice on how to live their lives, even if that advice is completely benefi cial and effi cient. No one wants to hear that they are do-ing something “wrong.” But in this scenario, her lack of action is also affecting your life, and even your view on her. She obviously has communication issues, or else she would have control of her kids. You’re not in a losing battle, but you are going to have to change your approach. First, hit up the thesaurus to fi nd some strong, replacement words for anything that may sound harsh or negative. Then begin your conversation by straightforwardly ask-ing if you could have her full attention and open mind, because you have a topic that is very important to you. Ask this in the same way that you would ask, “Hey, can you do me a favor?” Go on to explain your perspective, and when she interrupts, reiterate that you would appreciate her attention. If she can’t get through the convo like an adult, then she may be on the same mental level as her children.

La La’s Love Letters

by Lauren Strec

Lauren is a spokesmodel for tv, radio, live events, blogging and social media. Connect at Facebook.com/LaurenStrec for tidbits, news and fun photos

As Vice-President of offi ciating, Dean Blandino recently showed a video to 24 top draft picks. His objective was to illustrate why leading with the crown of the helmet has been out-lawed. He also called the rule by its name, The Trent Richard-son Rule.

That devastating hit was the reason why the rule change took place.

The NFL's competition committee showed owners last season to convince them that the rule was necessary for player safety. Players agree. No NFL player wants to sustain a head or spinal injury that will change their life forever.

The PGA Tour has accepted the ban on anchored strokes handed down by the golf's governing bodies, the U.S. Golf Association and the Royal and Ancient. The Tour generally adopts the USGA as golf's rule-maker.Players Tim Clark, Carl Pe-tersen and Adam Scott have been exploring options with attorney Harry Manion of Bos-ton.

The USGA and R&A an-nounced the proposed ban in November of 2012. Rule 14-1b makes it illegal for players to attach the end of a club to their body while making a stroke. The ban will go into effect on Janu-ary 1, 2016, when the next Rules of Golf are offi cially published.

Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem said they wanted one rule for all professional competitions worldwide.

SPORTS RULINGS

NFL Emphasizes "The Trent Richardson Rule"

PGA Tour Adopts the Anchoring Ban


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BOOK REVIEW

Throughout his distinguished career as a naval aviator, a U.S. Congressman, a top aide to four American presidents, a high-level diplomat, a CEO of two Fortune 500 companies and the only twice-serving Secretary of Defense in American history, Don-ald Rumsfeld has collected many life lessons. He has wrapped them up as a combined leadership manual and memoir.He fi rst kept his nuggets of wisdom in a fi le folder, then in an informal manual typed up at the request of President Richard Nixon, and then in something of a manuscript read by presidents, governors, diplomats and members of Congress.As time went on, he continued to work on his collection and added new rules using things he had heard, read, or observed. For his book, he selected his most useful rules, and added anecdotes from his long and varied career, according to an amazon.com review. At amazon.com, they say the book provides unprecedented insight into leadership, management, strategy and life.Inc reviewer Adam Sternbergh has expressed that he believes parts of the book are something of a bragging session, beginning with such phrases as, "When I was ..." Sternbergh also says, "Rumsfeld is a competent storyteller and personable compan-ion, the kind of guy you wouldn't mind sitting next to you on a plane." For Sternbergh, the real pleasure in the book comes when considering what Rumsfeld says, how he says it and what he chooses not to say at all.

Rumsfeld's Rules: Leadership Lessons in Business, Politics, War and Life. By Donald Rumsfeld, Broadside Books.

Rummy’s Rules: Life, Success, Dreams

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