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Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811 What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President, SmithImpact www.facebook.com/smithimpact Twitter: @SmithImpact
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What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

May 05, 2018

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Page 1: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood

Pete Smith President, SmithImpact

www.facebook.com/smithimpact Twitter: @SmithImpact

Page 2: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

The biggest fallacy regarding

communication is that 100% exists within Body

Language, Tone, and Words.

Page 3: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

1. What’s the most important conversation you’re going to have this week?

2. What’s the best outcome of that conversation? 3. Who do you need to “BE” in that

conversation in order to produce your desired outcomes?

(Un)Common Communication

3 Key Questions

Page 4: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

B E I N G

D O I N G

Page 5: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.” ~ Anais Nin

Content - Visible actions and spoken words

Context - The setting around us and within us, which affects the messages we send and receive.

• Social; Physical; Historical; Emotional

Exploring Content and Context

Page 6: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

Exploring Content and Context

Page 7: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

Page 8: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

Page 9: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

CONTENT CONTEXT

Page 10: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

Give Them a High-5

Please turn to the person next to you and…

Page 11: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

Rub Their Shoulders

Please turn to the person next to you and…

Page 12: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

Rub Their Leg

Please turn to the person next to you and…

Page 13: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

In many relationships, I believe the woman is responsible for most of

the home _______.

Gut Reaction

Page 14: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

Where Does It Show Up?

CONTENT CONTEXT

Page 15: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

Here’s My Plan For “x”…

Are You Better Off Today Than You Were Four Years Ago?

Politics

Page 16: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

Did You ‘Not Meet,’ ‘Meet,’ or ‘Exceed’ My Expectations?

You Never Told Me What Your Expectations Were Initially

Performance Reviews

Page 17: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

Here’s How This Change Will Benefit

You

I Don’t Think We Need To

Change At All

Change

Page 18: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

I Do So Many Things For My

Team

Trust

I Simply Can’t Stand To Be Around Him

Page 19: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

• Looking Foolish

• The Need to Be Right

FEAR

Our Internal Context

Page 20: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

Our Internal Context

Page 21: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

Our Internal Context

What do we use to process

information?

Page 22: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

The Power of Words

Page 23: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

The Power of Words

My To-Do

List

Page 24: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

The Power of Words

My To-Do

List

Page 25: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

You Always Have A Choice…

You Won’t Always Like Your Options

Page 26: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

It’s Not My Job

Trigger Phrases

Page 27: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

Page 28: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

One Approach - Massive Results

Page 29: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

“I don’t have to be right about this”

Page 30: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

“So what you’re saying is”

Page 31: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

“If I’m understanding you correctly”

Page 32: What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understoodksshrm.org/2017app/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/PeterSmith1.pdf · What’s NOT Being Said NEEDS to Be Understood Pete Smith President,

Pete Smith - SmithImpact - www.smithimpact.com - 703-593-6811

Thank You

Twitter: @SmithImpact

Facebook: www.facebook.com/smithimpact

Email: [email protected]

Text for Your Free Resources: Chapter - Always a Choice Chapter - Addressing the Fear

Number: 44222 Message: MATTER17