WELCOME… T...2013/09/07 · heaven, resting in peace, made their journey home, everlasting peace, eternal life, entered into their final resting place, pushing up daisies, bought

S a n d y A l e m i a n

http://sandyalemian.comThe Other Side of Grief 2 S a n d y A l e m i a n

W E L C O M E …

T here is no accident that you have found your way here, whether your loss was last month, last year or 10 years ago.

You might be feeling confused, scared, sad, lost or just curious.

It might feel like no one understands what you’re going through.

A loved one’s death can shake you up so much that you don’t know if you’re coming or going.

Grief can often feel like a life-stealer.

I’m glad you’re here. You came to the right place.


C O N T E N T S

Why is Death such a Taboo Subject? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4

My Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5

Excerpt from “Congratulations… It’s an Angel” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6

Grief… Why it Sucks! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7

10 Most Common Thoughts that Keep you in Pain . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8

Pulling Back the Curtain of Death . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9

6 Pillars of Truth about Death . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10-13

Kind Words . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

What’s Next for You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

About the Author . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

http://sandyalemian.comThe Other Side of Grief 4

W H Y I S D E A T H S U C H A T A B O O S U B J E C T ?

It’s. Scary. If you google images of “death”, 99% of the first 400 images that come up are black and grey images of skulls, crossbones, graves, grim reaper, angel of death, tears, knives .

UGH!I’m here to paint a very different picture for you .

Descriptions of death usually include: passed on, passed away, graduated, gone to heaven, resting in peace, made their journey home, everlasting peace, eternal life, entered into their final resting place, pushing up daisies, bought the farm, bit the dust, dead as a doornail, kicked the bucket, six feet under, meet one’s maker .

And you’ve probably heard things like “Well, God needed them .” or “They’re up in heaven, but you’ll see them again one day .”

The images, the descriptions all make death seem so scary, and heaven seem so very far away .

It was like that for me . In my younger years, I was sooo afraid of death, afraid of something happening to one of my parents or sisters . Death, to me was like someone was here, and then they weren’t . Where did they go? Did they just cease to exist?

“They’re gone . They’re up in heaven, but you’ll probably see them again someday .” may have been the messages you’ve heard .

Death seemed so final to me, and heaven seemed so distant . I didn’t understand any of it .

Then a real angel touched my life and changed everything .

S a n d y A l e m i a n


M Y S T O R Y

Nineteen years ago, my second daughter Talia was born with a one-in-a-million metabolic disorder . Her short little life… and death 31 days later totally shook

my world . It broke me wide open . I never thought I’d laugh or smile again .

In the midst of my complete brokenness, I found something that could never be broken .

I found a way to see death differently, to heal my pain, and an ability to connect with loved ones on the Other Side .

It totally transformed my life .

My first book, Congratulations… It’s an Angel is about the life-changing journey I was on .

When we go through any challenges in life, we have a choice… we can be bitter because of it, or we can choose to grow through it . Each experience has an opportunity to awaken us to something really powerful .

Talia


E X C E R P T F R O M C O N G R AT U L AT I O N S … I T ’ S A N A N G E L(Note… the parts in italics represent what I received as a response back from God .)

The doctor calmly and with very little emotion slowly said, “If Talia survives past the next month, she will likely die within early infancy . If she didn’t die

then… and even if she could ever breathe on her own, SHE WILL MOST LIKELY NEVER BE ABLE TO WALK… SEE… HEAR… TALK… SMILE… LAUGH… COMMUNICATE . .”

I tried to stop listening to the doctor, because the words stung too much . Regardless of what was said, what I heard was: Your daughter is going to die . My deepest fears were confirmed .

After Rich and I meet with the team of doctors, we returned to Talia, barely able to see her through our puffy, reddened eyes . My mind is filled only with the reality that Talia may die . Anger danced with my fear .

Have we done something wrong to deserve this God? What about our prayers? Why aren’t they being answered?

Sandy, you asked for strength and understanding, and you are beginning to sense my messages for you in your heart. Listen to your heart and soul… for that is how you’ll hear my words for you.

Why is this happening? When are we going to wake up from this nightmare?

Perhaps this was Talia’s dream… to reawaken you to your soul… to help you shift your awareness in life? When you are at a certain point, you’ll realize how much growth came from this pain.

God, how do you put the pieces of your life back together after the death of a child? How do you survive? I know that there is immeasurable pain to be felt, but I also know that somehow, we will survive .

Sometimes, the most important pieces of your life’s puzzle come to you after a long haul.

“Congratulations… It’s an Angel” is an inspiring and beautiful book that uplifts the soul through the wonder of eternal truth.

~Neale Donald Walsch; author of Conversations with God

There are many paths to awakening . Loss is one of them . But typically before you awaken, life gets messy . And sometimes we call that messiness… grief .


G R I E F … W H Y I T S U C K S !

Sometimes when you’ve gone through a loss, it feels as if you’ve been dropped into a foreign country . You don’t recognize the surroundings, you don’t understand the language and nothing feels or looks the same to you . You feel all sorts of things you’ve never felt before, you have thoughts you’ve never had before (some can be pretty scary) . You don’t even know how to find your way back home to your ‘normal’ life, and you probably wonder IF life will ever feel normal again .

Grief is unwelcome. It’s a journey that no one willingly buys a ticket for, but a journey that most everyone will go through at least once in their life .

Grief is unpredictable. A song, a smell, a name, a memory can trigger grief when you least expect it .

Grief is too often silent. Death and grief are not particularly popular topics . Too often, people shy away from these conversations, because it brings up uncomfortable feelings .

Grief is messy and painful. There’s stuff that gets stirred up! Guilt, sadness, anger, fear, worry . We can busy ourselves, distract ourselves, resist the pain and hold it inside . But it doesn’t go away… it goes underground .

But grief doesn’t have to be the end of you. Right now, you have come as far as you have with the tools and life experience you’ve had . Please don’t judge where you’re at . You don’t need to compare your journey with anyone else’s, or listen to how “they” (whoever your “they” are) say you should be doing .

People say some um, well, sorta stupid things when you’re going through a loss . They don’t mean to… I’m sure they’re trying to help . But many people are unaware of what to say .

I remember someone came up to me at Talia’s memorial service and said, “Oh, Sandy, I know what you’re going through… I just lost my grandfather .” I smiled, and said thank you, but inside I wanted to scream, “Whattt??? You have no idea what I’m going through! I just lost a child!”

Know there is hope . Sometimes it helps to know that someone else has been through it, and has survived . Actually, I don’t want you to just survive . I want you to be like the phoenix that rises from the ashes and feel life pulsing through your wings again .

In order for you to feel that, loss requires your attention to what keeps you in pain .

http://sandyalemian.comThe Other Side of Grief 8S a n d y A l e m i a n

1 0 M O S T C O M M O N T H O U G H T S T H A T K E E P Y O U I N P A I N

• If I let go of my pain, I’d be dishonoring my loved one that has died .

• If I let go of my pain… I’ll let go of my connection to him or her .

• It validates my story… look at what I’ve been through .

• I don’t want to accept what is .

• If I go to my deepest darkest pain, I’m afraid that I’ll get lost there .

• My pain protects me from letting others in… because they might leave too .

• This pain that I know, is better than the pain of what I might have to feel .

• It’s familiar . Who would I be without my pain? I’ve carried it for so long .

• I don’t know what to do with it… I don’t know how to let it go .

• How could I possibly ever be happy after this loss?

Do any of these feel familiar to you? As you search your tender heart, are there other reasons that want to be revealed?

If I let go of my pain, _________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

Through grief, what you are ‘birthing’ is a new life, one that perhaps you didn’t imagine you’d ever have . It can still be a good life, a great life for you here . Allow yourself to just breathe that in, even if it seems impossible right now .

My clients have described their experience like this:“You find a way to just exist .”“This is not the life I thought I was going to be living .” “I’m strong for everyone else, but I feel like I’m dying inside .”“No one understands what this is like .”

I’ve been there .

I’ve been through the dark night of the soul (a few times) and I’m on the other side of it . I’m on your team now . You’re not alone .

Probably the biggest reason why grief sucks…

YOU. MISS. THEM.Take a moment… and breathe…


L E T ’ S P U L L B A C K T H E C U R T A I N …

Shortly after Talia died, I became really curious about what happens after death . Well, curious is an understatement .

I NEEEEEDED TO KNOW. I needed to know and understand what the heck is death all about? What really happens when someone dies? Is there really a heaven? If so, where is it? And can you really communicate with those in heaven? And how the heck do you do THAT?

So, I read everything I could, took psychic and spiritual development classes, did intensive training at Arthur Findley College in England, sat in Spirit circles, and realized I had a gift where I could see, hear and feel things that many didn’t .

I was tapped in! Some thought I was just “tapped”, woo-woo, whatever . To me, it was a very real and practical way of connecting with the non-physical world .

Let me back up… I had been having conversations with my angels and God through my writing for 5 years prior to all this . And, no, I didn’t get any advance warning about Talia’s death . There’s a reason for that… I’ll tell you about it later .

It has been nearly two decades now that I’ve been working with clients and audiences all over the world as a Spirit Medium . The stories, the wisdom, the life lessons and higher perspectives I get daily in my work with the Other Side has been phenomenal .

It’s given me a totally (sometimes controversial) look at death .

The 3 biggest misconceptions about death:1 . They are gone .2 . It shouldn’t have happened .3 . Death is the worst thing that can happen to anybody . See? Told ya it was controversial!

Read on, it will all start to make sense…

So, here are the 6 foundational truths that all my work with Spirit is based on . And I’m so happy that I get to share it here with you . Take your time with each one… breathe it in before you go to the next one .


6 P I L L A R S O F T R U T H A B O U T D E A T H

1. You are not your body. You might be thinking, “Wait a minute… this is crazy talk!”

Let me explain . Yes, you have a body, but in truth, you are a soul, a spirit, currently attached to a physical thing called a body .

So, you are a spiritual being, having a physical experience here . You started out as spirit energy before you “took on” this thing called a body .

You are both physical and spiritual . The physical part of you is your body… the non-physical part of you is your spirit . And that never dies .

The day after my dad died, I sensed his energy very strongly . He nudged me to bring our entire family together before the funeral service, so he could communicate with them through me . One of the most powerful messages he gave to all of us was this:

“Now remember, when you see me in the casket, remember, that’s not me…that’s just my body.”

2. Death is not the end. Death is the end of the journey with a body…it is not the end of the journey . Your soul is energy, and energy cannot be destroyed . It simply changes form . Your loved ones who have made the transition called death, no longer have a physical form, but they are spiritual ‘form-less’ energy, that is no longer contained in the body .

So what happens to them when they die? What is death?

Spirit has described death as an “unzipping” from the physical body, to expand into full awareness of spiritual essence . What that means is that death offers an opportunity to release oneself from physical and emotional pain and suffering . Not once in all my years of connecting with Spirit has anyone come through in a session, saying, “You know, if you had just taken me to one more doctor…maybe I’d still be there…”

They are at peace, because that is the frequency of the energy they are in .

When someone dies, if you focus on the physical part of them that is no longer here, you’ll feel the pain of what you describe as separation, or loss . When


you focus on their spirit energy that still exists, you’ll have a totally different experience .

So, death is the transition of being spirit energy with a body… to being spirit energy without a body .

“Mom, when I died… my body stopped, but I kept going.”

~from my client’s son, who died in a car accident.

“Please tell my husband, that the cancer didn’t take ME… it just took my body.”

~ from my client’s wife, who passed from cancer.

The “I” and “ME” that they are referring to, is the soul energy that continues after the body dies . It’s the greater, infinite part of all of us that cannot be harmed, can’t be damaged, does not get sick and doesn’t die .

One of my clients came to my office to connect with her brother who was a famous heart surgeon here in Boston . Now remember, his job was to save people’s lives every day .

This was one of the messages he asked me to give to her: (Confession… when I hear certain things from Spirit, I have what I call, a “holy shit!” moment . This man’s statement was one of them .)

“If I knew then, what I know now about the Spirit world…I wouldn’t have tried so hard to save so many people!”

Take a moment and breathe that in .

3. Heaven is not UP there. Heaven is not a far away place .

I would venture to guess that most of us grew up with the idea that heaven is somewhere “up there”…up in the clouds, up with God, and when you die, you too will go up there and be with them .

In all my years as a medium, I’ve come to understand that heaven is a state of consciousness… a higher frequency of beingness . Without a body, being pure spirit energy, you exist in that frequency . That vibration of heaven is accessible here, though not all experience it .

One of my recent clients shared with me, “Sandy, I talk to my husband in heaven all the time, but I really didn’t know it was possible to hear from him or anyone in heaven, because they just seem so far away .”


If you’re like most people, you may be thinking that heaven is unreachable . It’s not . You are always connected to the energy of heaven . It’s certainly possible for us to not feel connected to the energy of heaven… because life is busy, distracting, and can be really loud .

You don’t have to be perfect in order for you to become more aware of your connection to your loved ones who have died . You don’t have to go through any special rituals, meditate for days, or sit on a mountain top in order to start receiving communication with them . What it takes is an intention to quiet your world, and listen within to the whispers in your heart .

Because…

4. You are always connected to Spirit, but you may not be aware of your connection.Heaven is connected to your heart .

Remember, you are spirit energy, infinitely connected to the energy of God, Angels and your loved ones who have died . You may not be aware of this connection, though, because your thoughts and attention may be elsewhere, or you may be thinking that it’s not possible to have a continued connection with them .

Spirit has also said that our deep emotions of sadness, anger and guilt can also cloud the connection we feel to them .

You most likely feel a deep sense of loss because you’re not experiencing the physical part of your loved one who has died . You don’t see them, can’t hear their voice, or hug them . That’s what hurts so much, because our normal way of relating to our loved one has stopped .

But…

5. You can experience Spirit and still have conversations with them. You don’t have to wait until you die to have an experience or a conversation with Spirit . It is absolutely possible for you to communicate with that which is non-physical, and have a relationship with your loved ones in Spirit, or even with God or your Angels .

It is a different kind of communication than we are used to, because it is in a non-physical way… sensing or feeling their energy, seeing thought pictures in your mind, ‘hearing’ Spirit’s telepathic thought .


This nonphysical realm of God, Angels and Spirit holds truth and wisdom, that can help you ease the pain that may be in your heart, or help you to release the burden that you carry in your life . With the wisdom from spirit, you can easily free yourself from guilt, worry, anger, fear and sadness that plague so many here . Once the light of truth shines on your old stories of your life, you get free . The truth truly does set you free .

When you take a few moments to get quiet and still… and learn to see, hear, sense and feel in a different way, you can experience the beautiful, limitless, infinite part of not only you, but of your loved ones in spirit as well .

6. There is a common thread to each painful life challenge,whether it is a loss of a child, spouse, parent, sibling, pet… or the “death” of another kind… a divorce, separation, layoff . Each experience offers you the opportunity to be defeated and victimized by it, or to see the precious gems hidden beneath the pain, to re-awaken to your soul, to God, and to the deeper spiritual truths .

That is your choice .

And as for why I wasn’t told ahead of time by my angelic team that I would have to go through the death of a child? My soul agreed to have the experience, so that I would create a mission to help you remember that death is not the end of them… and grief is not the end of you .

My prayer for you, is that you allow every loss and transition in your life to help you to see more of the divine love within you . And know that your loved ones in Spirit are but a breath away . Take time to listen… and feel their love for you .

Love never dies… and you are never, ever alone.


K I N D W O R D S …

It’s a wonderful feeling to know they are with us ALL the time. My life changed when I met you. You helped me connect with my husband Lou and for that I am forever grateful. I found out that there is a forever. Thank you very much.

~Anita Caruso

I just wanted to send you a quick email to say thank you. For 13 years I have had so many emotions I never completely understood. I always felt a loving presence with me and thought it could be my Dad (especially having vivid dreams of him) although I never was sure. But after my session with you, I feel so much better. I know physically I cannot see him anymore but you helped me to know his spirit is still with me—it gives me such comfort! Since he passed when I was so much younger I missed having him at so many important moments in my life. But now I know he was there and has not missed anything. I was so sad that I could not show him the work on my dolls so when he brought it up in our session, I couldn’t believe it! I was so happy! I also think the things my Father had to say to my Mom were things she needed to hear. She may never admit that but I can tell she feels better. Thank you again!

~Hollie Bennett

I am in my home office surrounded by tears of joy (yes neatly wrapped in tissues) feeling the greatest relief that I can hardly type fast enough to thank you and share my joy with you. Thank you from the bottom to the top and everywhere in between for waking me up to my Soul.

I respect, appreciate and really love you for teaching me, “My Soul IS therefore I AM.”

p.s… In the banquet of my Life, I would give you, Sandy the “Soul Whisperer”, a great seat of honor.

~Carol Weiner

“After the suicide death of my brother Don, I did a lot of soul searching. My sister Berni gave me a copy of your book, “What was God Thinking?!” and I identified with so many things that you wrote about. My session with you was a turning point in my life. You guided me through a past life regression, a traumatic childhood event, and contact with some of my family who have passed, including my brother. It was a truly awesome experience… I have become a more peaceful soul.”

~Karin Potter


T H E N E X T S T E P F O R Y O U ?

So what’s next?

If you need support or healing for your journey, if you have questions about death or the other side, or if you’d like to learn how to communicate with your loved ones in Spirit, go to www.sandyalemian.com or call me at 508-846-5358 and we can see what type of program would work best for you .

Sending you a big hug,

Sandy Alemian International Medium; Best-selling Author

A B O U T T H E A U T H O R Sandy Alemian is a messenger of hope, love, truth and healing through her written and spoken word . With her unique blend of deep spiritual wisdom and gentle humor, she helps people all over the world find ways to heal their heartache, and reconnects them to their loved ones in Spirit and with God .

Sandy is the author of Congratulations… It’s an Angel and the International Best-seller What was God Thinking?!, which is her 2-year down-to-earth conversation with God about life, death and everything in between .

As an artist, she also creates custom paintings for her clients from their loved ones in Spirit, eternalizing the connection that never ends .

Sandy lives in Boston, MA with her daughter Ariana, her son Austin (born exactly one year and one day after Talia), and her sometimes hot flashes!

Sandy

WELCOME… T...2013/09/07 · heaven, resting in peace, made their journey home, everlasting peace, eternal life, entered into their final resting place, pushing up daisies, bought

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