Up, Up and Away Imagine that you won a competition and the prize was a fight in a hot air balloon, something you had never done before. You write a diary the evening before you go on the fight and the evening after you have been on the flight describing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Please email a picture of your two diary entries or a word document to: [email protected] (we do not need to see your plans ) Planning – do this on separate paper so you have more room! Diary entry one (before): Make notes about your thoughts and feelings the evening before the balloon fight: Diary entry two (after): Make notes about the experience and your thoughts and feelings: When the balloon took off During the fight. Make notes about your thoughts and feelings afterwards and how this compared with what you expected:
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Up, Up and AwayImagine that you won a competition and the prize was a fight in a hot air balloon, something you had never done before. You write a diary the evening before you go on the fight and the evening after you have been on the flight describing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.Please email a picture of your two diary entries or a word document to: [email protected](we do not need to see your plans 😊)
Planning – do this on separate paper so you have more room!Diary entry one (before):
Make notes about your thoughts and feelings the evening before the balloon fight:
Diary entry two (after):
Make notes about the experience and your thoughts and feelings:
When the balloon took off During the fight.
Make notes about your thoughts and feelings afterwards and how this compared with what you expected:
Try to include:
Sentence structure and punctuation: Adverbials: When we were all back at home Modal verbs: could, should Expanded noun phrases: huge, colourful
balloon with green stripes. Third person: mum said Subordinating connectives: because we were
high up… Past tense: I looked down Use of questions: could the balloon get
damaged? Range of punctuation: brackets, dashes,
colons etc.
Text structure and organisation Relationship between paragraphs or sections
e.g. links between the two different diary entries: definitely worth entering that competition… That was it… I was defying gravity.
Connection between opening/ending: terrified of heights / no longer afraid of heights.
Paragraphs are varied in length and structure.
Composition and effect
Viewpoint is controlled e.g. changes in diary writer’s reactions are carted throughout the entries: petrified… I feel slightly relieved. What if it crashed? No, no, it would not. what is I dropped my camera? No, it would be round my neck.
Vivid description: swooped, billowing, like a playset of tiny people
Reflecting showing viewpoint: it felt alien-like to walk back on earth’s atmosphere…
Some good examples – you are more than welcome to use these to help with your own writing. Try not to copy!
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