Walking with jesus lnk

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WalkingWithJesus

Nothing really stays for long in my mind. As everything passes through it very quickly, which is a good thing really. It’s 16 yrs now since I had a car accident. Oh yes I still remember things that happened in my life from the past. That’s just it, it’s in the past and maybe that is where a lot of life’s experiences should just remain. I’m going to share my life with you and how I always felt someone was with me.

It wasn’t until after my car accident that I saw a man walking with me. But it started when I was 14 yrs old when my mother died on Christmas night after her suffering from Cancer for

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over two years. I come from a large family of two boys and seven girls, two weeks before my mother died I went to see her in hospital and she didn’t know me or my sister, yet I was never told how bad she was, but I knew she would never get better, I remember the next day going outside, and just roaring crying looking up into the sky and begging whoever was listening up there not to take her as we all needed her so much, mammy was never coming home again, that Christmas she passed away, it was a very lonely time for us her family that she left after her, we all miss her terrible, still, to this day, I pray & think of her every day, I went through my Life with a loss I would have always thought it was because I had no mother at home I know now it was because I didn’t know Jesus, that was until the day everything changed for me that was the day that God had another plan for me, the day I have come to realise, was my old life was over & my new life had just begun.

It happened on the 16th December 1999 driving to work on a very frosty morning, the roads were dangerous with black ice, which I hadn’t realised were so bad, just as I was driving into my local village just 2 miles from my home I crashed into a wall, I had no memory of anything for the next five weeks, that morning an ambulance was called I was rushed to hospital, unconscious, I had a brain injury, five broken ribs & a punctured lung, but there wasn’t a mark on me, my family & friends were shocked as they were told there wasn’t much hope of me surviving & if I was to survive I would be brain damaged, the doctor couldn’t say anything until I woke up, as my family prepared for the worst as my chance of surviving wasn’t good, there was no change, then word got out that I had died.

A dear friend went to her local priest in the village where I grew up & asked him about having a mass or just getting together to pray for me & that is how the holy hours came about, my sister told me months later that there had been four holy hours during that time, it was after the second & third holy hour that something very special happened in the church, everybody in the church went very silent & a peace had come over everyone, that was the night that I started to respond & little by little I started on my road to recovery, I hadn’t realized how bad I was, I was told I had crashed my car, I was making brilliant progress but my speech, my walk, my co-ordination, and my memory were very poor as I remembered very little but I do remember my dream almost two weeks after being home, as I would have slept a lot during that time, in my dream I was in the church where the holy hours had taken place, I was sitting on the right side of the isle, about 6 seats from the back, when just in front of me hovering over a seat was a very bright light with hands out stretched asking me to “Spread The Word” while walking down from the alter was a man in a brown robe, which was tied at his waist, on his feet he wore large black scandals, l didn’t see a face at that time, it was going to be 10 years later before I was to see his face.

I didn’t think much about that dream after that night, in truth I didn’t really think about anything, the only think that was different to me was my walk I didn’t have the ability to stand by myself without falling, a few weeks later I went to the Rehabilitation Hospital in

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Dunlaoire, I was there for two months & after learning to re-build my life, I had speech therapy, occupational therapy, also I went to phyico therapy each day, something had changed in me, after being home for about two months I knew I needed to do something with my life after getting a second chance, I always felt a need inside me to be very thankful for everything I achieved & one morning I woke up & knew I couldn’t stay in my marriage so I rang my sister, I told her I was leaving my husband & would she collect me, I left for 18 months & in that time there was very little contact with my husband, I have to say that was of his choosing, I knew I had changed, I wasn’t the girl he had married just two years precious. Where I was living at that time was just one mile from the church where the Holy Hours had taken place so I walked to 10 o’clock morning mass. My balance & my co-ordination still needed time & patience to recover fully, one morning I was walking to mass as fast as I possibly could, I had felt I wasn’t going to make mass on time, when just walking out of a field came the man from my dream wearing the brown robe, & black scandals, I didn’t have any vision of a face then, or who he was, yet he walked constantly with me from that morning, but that morning I did get to mass on time & when I sat in that same seat I had being sitting on the night I had my dream, I just cried, & cried, during that mass so much I couldn’t go to communion, I left the church that morning when everybody else had left & I walked back home, got into bed & cried, because I was just so, so very sad.

I continued walking every day with my Guardian Angel at my side, at that time I was just so delighted to have someone walking with me I never asked him anything, other than where would he have me go or what would you have me say or do, because if I wasn’t sure of anything & that happened all the time, I would just ask him, not very long after that when I was walking with my brother to bring his cows in for milking we had to walk up a tough hill, I was struggling a bit when my brother put out his arm & he helped me to get to the top & we walked into a field to get a cow which was along with a bull as I was tired, he went off to get the cow I had my back to him & the bull, when the bull started to charge towards me I didn’t notice the bull then just at that moment my Angel in the brown robe was there & then my brother shouted & the bull turned back with my brother running after him, a few days later that bull was sold.

When I hadn’t drove for a year I didn’t even know if I would be nervous or how I would feel behind a wheel but when I got a car I just drove home on my own, a good friend of mine drove her car in front, I had no memory of my accident, I was driving with my friend, in his brown robe & black scandals in the passenger seat, I drove that car for just over one year, in that time I really felt I was starting a new life.

I would have that feeling inside me as if I was always starting, which I was, I was starting my life with Jesus by my side, I enrolled in a business course, I learned how to type, it was tough but I stuck with it, I loved it, the joy of learning was just brilliant, I remember it so

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will, the day we had our exams I sat at my computer after it was over & started roaring laughing, my class mate was wondering what was so funny I couldn’t speak from laughing at how serious we were taking it all, then when our results came out I got 7 Ds I was delighted I had passed everything, it wasn’t until months later when I came across my results that it was 7 distention’s I had got, it really didn’t matter one bit, I know now how God had plans for me to write about him, that is the reason I would never give up, I did more computer courses to keep me refreshed with knowledge as knowledge is never wasted in anyone, it was during that time my husband & I started dating again, after about 6 months I moved back to the marriage home, everything was just so lovely, but then towards the end of my course my right arm started really paining me, I couldn’t type for long as the more I used my hand the more painful it got, my hand would go snow white as there was no blood getting to it, which happened as a result of blood clot in an actuary in my right arm, when I finished my course the pain continued, just to go walking would cause me great pain I had to carry my right arm in my other hand, so I went to see the doctor who had looked after me during my accident, he referred me to a specialist in a Dublin hospital, that was where my angel really was with me all the time, I had my first operation of the four operations I was to have, for a archery by-pass, a vein was taken from my leg & put into my arm, the operation lasted almost 8 hours, when I woke up my Guardian Angel was just sitting there, in a arm chair beside my bed I knew I was going to be fine, my husband couldn’t visit because of work commitments until the next day & when he came in to see me I was sitting on the bed doing absolutely fine, I had no pain yet I was told I had to stay in hospital for another 10 days, but after 4 days I asked if I could go home, the doctor who had operated on me said I could go home but I had to mind my arm, so off I went, what happened next I never would have expected it, about one week later the pain came back into my arm just like before, It was so bad that after two days with the pain I had no choice but to go back to the hospital, the doctor examined my arm & told me the clot had come back, he said he would operate again, this time he took a vein from my other leg, that operation lasted about seven hours, this time I wasn’t allowed home & my arm was recovering well but after about one week the pain returned just like before, all this time my angel was always with me I could feel him putting his hand on my arm where the doctor had operated, my doctor had said to me one evening when he came back to the hospital to check up on me that I had great healing power I didn’t say anything but I knew why, I didn’t understand it when the pain came back just like before, when I said it to my doctor he informed me that he wanted to do a third operation to move the clot, but this time I said to my angel if my arm isn’t going to get better don’t be sitting by my bed & was I so sorry for saying that, after waking up in recovery the first thing I noticed was the pain in my arm, I started to cry as I knew it wasn’t going to work & my Angel was nowhere to be seem I was so, so sorry for saying to him not to be around if it’s not going to be a success, because he wasn’t anywhere, I couldn’t believe it when my doctor said he was going to operate for the forth time, this was his last time to try, a lady had told me because of all the antiseptic I had after the three operations it was going to be very

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dangerous for me, on my way to theatre I was crying because if I was to die it would be put down to a complication during surgery as it was my forth operation, this operation lasted four hours & when I woke up in recoverary with the pain still there I didn’t mind because I was awake, with my Angel sitting by my bed, so after six weeks I was home with a appointment to see a specialist in a Belfast hospital who deals with people who have had a trauma in their lives, the night before I went to see him I didn’t sleep, I didn’t even close my eyes for one minute, I slept all the way to the hospital when I got there & was seen by the doctor, he had all my records in front of him, he looked & examined my arm & when he said he wouldn’t be doing any more operations as the doctor in Dublin had being very brave to operate four times, my arm needed rest & with God’s help it might get better but he couldn’t say as it was too early to know yet, so I left the hospital delighted to know I would be having no more operations, I returned home, I done everything & anything that was needed to be done the pain would come & go but there was nothing that could be done so I never complained, I knew I was so lucky to be alive & I could deal with whatever life had in store for me, through time my arm got so much better & just sometimes I would get a pain but it would always pass when I rested it.

lt was one year later that I was pregnant with my little baby boy, my husband & myself were unbelievable happy, it was a beautiful time for both of us, I was told I was to have have a natural delivery, I was anxious as I was told the pressure my brain would be under would be very dangerous for me but thank God the morning I went to have my baby a midwife with 25 years experience was on duty, she knew my medical history so I was booked for a c-section later that day, I thanked God that she had been there that morning, then two years & three months later our beautiful little girl joined our family, I felt so happy do have my family I continued to thank God every day for everything in my life.

Then one year later it all changed for us when my husband changed jobs & I felt he changed also, yet he felt it was always me who changed & he was right but for the right reasons I changed, where he had always been so materialist, I wasn’t, in fact I was the opposite to him & eventually it drove us apart, I remember the day in my kitchen, in my marriage home looking in a mirror at myself, crying & saying to myself why am I so unhappy, I have everything I wanted in this house yet I was missing something so badly.

It was during that time I felt my Guardian Angel very close to me & I would walk & talk to him all the time, I used to beg my Angel to help me in my marriage, I couldn’t believe it we were so privileged to have our children & yet he wanted someone else to rear them, he felt it would do me good to go out to work and meet with people, I couldn’t say it but I wanted to scream that I don’t understand people anymore, we didn’t like each other very much during that year, he had no time for God or his wife & children, I was unbelievably unhappy I couldn’t live like this, my husband would never talk, we had being like that for one year, I felt I was dying & I was inside, my husband knew I was leaving yet he still refused to talk or

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listen to me, when I moved out with our children I will always remember the words he had spoken to me about two weeks before I left you can go but don’t expect anything from us, the us was his mother & father, I knew I would never want to return, I was so heartbroken, the children didn’t see their daddy & I didn’t have my husband by my side living with us as a family should be, I still prayed & spoke to my Angel every day, I cried, laughed & he knew me better than any living person, I would always remember that dream I had where I was asked to Spread the Word I would have always asked my Guardian Angel how was I to spread the word & what word, we continued to live in the cottage we had moved too, it was beautiful but the loneliness was just too much to bear, I felt I was going to die of a broken heart, I would beg my Angel to help me change my life as I wasn’t happy, I was living in the country-side away from everyone & everything I was used too, when I closed my door in the evening I didn’t see anyone not even a light from a house, that was how remote it was, then one day I was in play ground in the village which was two miles from my marriage house with my friend & our children, when we seen a big sign on a house for rent, we both ran over with our children to see if there was a phone number to ring, I rang the number that Thursday evening & the following Friday week I had moved into it, I had moved everything so simply, even the turf I had saved for my fire was here with me, I couldn’t believe it, as always I thanked my Angel for everything in my life, & yes I still asked him always what was it I had to spread, I was years asking that question & sometimes I got annoyed just asking as he was the only one who knew my pain & what it was I had to do.

I constantly asked him to please send me my soul mate as I wanted a friend who understood me & I reckoned my soul mate would be my best friend, as always I didn’t ask for anything else as I had everything I needed & most of all I had my health & my two beautiful children, I went to mass also every Saturday evening, I asked my Angel to give me patience to wait for my soul mate, as I knew he would send him , I remember it so will this evening going up the church, to my seat as I sat in the same seat for as long as I can remember, At that time there were three people who would have went to Medugorji every year who sat within one or two seats of me, I was asking the same question as always about my soul-mate when I said one evening before mass started, God, I thing you need to sent him here to mass, as it’s the only place I go to, I said these words one Saturday evening

‘Now look God where is my soul-mate’ why are you not sending him, you gave me everything else that you know I need, I said it as matter of fact & as God always said if you follow me you will get whatever it is you ask for, will I’m asking for so long so where is he, that very night at mass a young gentleman sat in the seat behind me, he sat either in the seat in front or the seat behind me, we would always shake hands at the peace offering, sometimes just sometimes we might speak & say hallo, this went on for about four months.

One morning at 10am mass I was talking to a lady outside mass when a elderly gentleman called me over & asked me to read a book called the’ Light Between The Hills’ by Heather

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Parson I had it read in 4 days I couldn’t believe it that Our Lady still appears out there, as I had never known about Medugorji & especially that it was still happening, I wouldn’t have the best memory so I read it again & I couldn’t believe it but I wanted to go there, I gave the book back to the gentleman, I asked him did he have any more books about Medugorji, he gave me ‘Touched by a Mothers love’ I knew before I had it finished I was going to go to Medugorji, the gentleman who always sat behind me or in front of me at mass goes their every year so I wrote to him, I just didn’t like asking him after mass, as I have no problem in writing my thoughts down, so I wrote a letter, asking him to call over to my house sometime, so he called two weeks later on a Sunday evening with the Medugorji Herald magazine, we chatted for about 3 hours we had so much in common, I realised he was a beautiful man & I would never, ever have said that about any man before, he was different to any guy I had spoken to before, when he was leaving he asked me for a hug which I gave him what a warm hug.

The very next morning I meet him at mass I told him I had my flight booked to Medugorji, the only problem was my passport was out of date but I had almost four months before my trip, I applied for it that day & when I didn’t hear anything & with just one week to flying I still hadn’t got it, I got the train to Dublin to the passport office, I was certain I would have it home with me if I waited all day for it, but that wasn’t to be as at 3pm I was told it wasn’t ready yet & they would have to post it out to me, I didn’t mind a bit because if I was to fly on the Saturday it would happen, I had no fear about believing that, thank God my passport came on Thursday morning I was all ready to go I had being told if Our Lady wants you out there it will happen & she was right she made sure it would all work out beautifully, I was a bit anxious as I didn’t know anybody going, but I needed not have thought to much about it, as soon as I got on the bus to get to the airport I was fine, the flight was just under 3 hours I was sitting beside such a lovely lady she had being to Medugurji about 14 times, we chatted the entire flight over to Splite Airport, just as we were flying into the airport there was some turbulence, the lighting was like I had never seen before, I saw a face at the front of the plane it was the face of my Angel who walks with me, he had shoulder length, dark, wavy hair I couldn’t believe how handsome he was, my Angel who had being walking with me for 10 years had a face, I also knew from that moment it was going to be a exceptional week in Medugorji, we had a two & a half hour bus journey to our hotel, I told my companion who I was sitting beside on the plane about my Angel & it was brilliant that she believed me & I thanked God for sending her as I needed someone who believed in what was happening to me, she believes in Angels, yet she never saw any lightening as we were about to land.

By the following evening I knew why I had come here on my own, I chatted to people & in return they talked to me, I heard some remarkable stories during my week, climbing Blue Cross mountain & Kross mountain was beautiful but the one that was the most memorable for me was Apparition Hill our guide was telling a story about her baby who died on Christmas Eve some years ago, I couldn’t stop crying about my own mother how she had

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died on Christmas Night 27 years previously, but something very special happened on that mountain that day for me, I actually walked down a different person to the one who cried for her mother over the years as I missed her terrible.

I know now, I have known for a long time she is in heaven, after coming home from hospital after my accident she just walked into my bedroom, wearing the dressing gown that I remembered her wearing at home before she went to hospital, she walked up to my bed & sat down she didn’t speak, I was crying so much as I felt that my own family & friends didn’t understand me anymore, yet I felt I had my Angel & my mother with me they were the closest to me at that time, I had a beautiful week in Medugorji it came to a end so quickly, I was sad leaving but I know I will be back one day, also I wanted to tell everybody about it but I was told not to bother trying to convince anybody to come to Medugorji, as it had to be experienced by each person indivually, but I knew I had to try as how else would people know about it if we didn’t speak about it, then it really was up to each person if they want to experience it, my Angel was with me always but since Medugorji he is dressed in white, I think that it is more about me changing towards Jesus than anything else, I have noticed quiet a lot how people I have known for some time have changed towards me, in truth it’s me who is changing, but I feel that it’s fine as I have a new friend who understands me, like nobody else, yet I still asked my Guardian Angel more than ever what is it that I have to do, I would walk most days asking that question but I never got any reply, when one day I spent the whole day crying I begged my Guardian Angel to help me as nothing was making me happy in this life, my children are the most precious little people to me but there Dad had to see them so when they were with him I felt I had nothing without them, I had decided I was going to go & meet my Angel & if he didn’t want me with him he had better do something to change me, that very evening there was a funeral taking place in the church I go to, the next day I went to the funeral mass of the deceased, the priest who was saying that mass was talking about the deceased he said she was a woman who always felt that Jesus walked with her, I wondered was that how he felt, he spoke so will about her I thought he was a relation of her’s, I hadn’t known he was the new priest in the neighbouring parish, so the following Sunday I went to mass at his church, in his sermon he said, was it enough just to go to mass, confessions & Adoration we needed to be doing something else but I didn’t hear or remember what he said, the following week I went to his mass again, that morning listening to his sermon I felt he was talking to me, I knew then he was someone I needed to talk to, so one morning after leaving my children to school I went to 9.30am mass in his church, on my way I was talking to my Guardian Angel asking him what had I to say as I didn’t know how to start talking & just maybe the priest wouldn’t take any notice of what I had to say, so on the way into mass I said to my Angel, ok now you have me say what I am supposed to say, just as I was walking in the door of the church everybody was shaking hands, the priest was in the isle shaking everybody’s hand so I went into a seat, mass was nearly over, when it was communion time I walked up to receive, when the priest just said to

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me I can’t give you communion as you weren’t here for the whole mass so he gave me a blessing, I knew it was a special blessing as I felt it extremely peaceful after it, I walked back down to my seat a few minutes later mass was over, so rather than leave straight away, I knelt back down, the priest walked down to me to apologise for not giving me communion, in that instant I realised this was my Angel working, kneeling there I just said to the priest, I think I need to talk to you, he just said right so come into the sarcastic, I couldn’t believe it as this is what happens when you leave everything to God, now how was I going to explain, how I heard a very clear voice when I came to adoration in this church, so I told him about the first time I came to Adoration which was by the grace of God I had come that evening I remember walking in, sitting down & just saying will God have you anything to say to me, when I heard the most clearest, loud voice saying Hallo thanks for coming you’re welcome here, so I didn’t know what to think now, was this the man who had being walking with me for 10 years.

The man in the brown robe who sat in my car during another car accident I had almost 7 years ago just 2 yrs after my other accident, I was driving around a bend when my tyres just went into the grass verge it was very wet & a bit frosty when I couldn’t believe it my car went right across the road, spun around & turned upside down, my Angel in his brown robe was in the car with me, I said, ‘O my God’ what just happened there, I was hovering in my seat upside down, but I was fine, I opened my seat belt but I wasn’t ready for the fall on to the roof, then I crawled on my knees into the back to get out the door, but just then a gentleman who had being driving from Dublin was just coming around the bend he saw the tyres spinning, he realised the accident had just happened, when I crawled out the back door the guy was standing there his face was as white as a sheet, the first thing I said was I’m fine, but what is everybody going to think now, they will say that I shouldn’t be driving that I’m not safe on the road, I rang my husband who came with a car transporter put the car up on it & we drove home, on the way home we passed my friends house she had seen the state of my car, so she rang me to see how I was, I was fine, she still thought I should go to the hospital to get checked out, but I had never thought about going to the hospital so I put on a neck collar I had from my other accident & went to bed & said my prayers, I woke the next morning absolutely fine, so I didn’t speak about that little accident & I told nobody but maybe it was months later I might have mentioned it to some of my family I’m not even sure who I told, but my Angel always walked with me, I just knew it was him speaking to me in the church, when I told the priest about someone speaking to me he said right & asked me if I could come & talk to him, as I was properly searching for God’s word, we made a appointment to meet in his house the next evening we spoke for a hour, I was unbelievably relieved as he believed me I was delighted, he told me to ask my Guardian Angel who he is, & what should I call him, when I was leaving he blessed my forehead & the same blessing I got that morning at mass, I would be so happy being a vessel for God, so he can fill me up each day to Spread his Word, every night my Angel sits on my bed, but that night when I

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woke up I asked him who he was & when he answered me straight away I couldn’t believe it, he said ‘you know who I am’ as since being to Medugorji I felt it was Jesus’ how l felt that I don’t know, I felt so humbled I cried, the next night I asked him what do I call you & when he simply answered ‘A Friend’ I knew he knew, I couldn’t believe that I had never thought to ask him anything like that before, he continues to sit on my bed every night, he walks with me always thought out my every day, now I need to till you about the other voice I was hearing in my head each time I spoke with the priest a voice tilling me he doesn’t believe you, he thinks I have another agenda that I fancied him, this voice did not want me talking to that priest but one night I remember shouting back saying what about that guy from mass I’m waiting for him, I don’t fancy the priest he belongs to Jesus, that is why I couldn’t talk to him, so I’m leaving nothing to chance while I wait for my soul-mate it might take 10 yrs but I’ll wait patiently.

My friend in the brown robe I know is the one I have to thank when I needed a computer, I didn’t know where the money would come from, then one morning in the post I received a cheque for 920 euro, I couldn’t believe it, it was from the Invalidly Pension dept I had received since my accident, but straight away I thanked God for that money, that day I bought my computer & printer, another morning when I had my N.C.T. test on my car, I didn’t get my car serviced as just like the two previous time when I had it serviced it failed, both times, after spending a few hundred Euros on it, so this morning I wanted to go to 9.30 mass, but I felt I wouldn’t have time as I had to visit a lady in hospital, she had asked me to get a message for her & I had to be back by 12.30 to pick up my little girl from Montessori, I know if you put God first he will always put you first, I went to mass that morning & absolutely everything else worked out for me, as I had being waiting to get a report on what my car needed, when the man just handed me the disc, I just said, are you sure, I couldn’t believe it when he said yes it passed no bother, again I said thank you God, I knew it was my Angel who was doing his work that day, as I knew my car was in need of a service, I had done nothing to prepare for that test I hadn’t even the hubcaps taken off, the children’s car seats were still in the car, yet it passed.

Then another day as I was in my home & after putting on the open fire in my sitting room, I filled it up with turf, & went to pick my son up from school, I hadn’t put the fire guard up fully to the fire, as the guard holds in the heat & it was freezing cold, then when a sod of turf fell out & landed on the mat on the floor, burning about four or five holes on the mat which went through to the wooded floor burning that badly, when I came home & walked in to the room & saw the mat burned & straight away I said thank you God as it could have being so much worse, I knew I had my Angel watching over my home.

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I have being having a prayer group here in my sitting room on a Sunday night for the past few weeks, the peace that is within me is just beautiful, after the first night of hosting it, when everybody had left with my children in their beds, I sat in my sitting room I knew I had to have this feeling of happiness again, I couldn’t wait for a month for my next prayer group so I started having them every week, I had between 3 & 8 people in my home on a Sunday night, I can’t do enough to ‘Spread The Word’ I’m filled with the Holy Spirit I have also known for such a long time now that God has saved me for himself as my every single though is what can I do for God, I go through my days thanking him for all things in my life, also I have known that my son belongs to God & I’m sure my little boy will serve him in his own way one day, he also has my little girl in his hands, he has taken the worry from my life, I mean that from the bottom of my heart as I have always put everything in my life into God’s hands therefore nothing can go wrong, that doesn’t mean that everything in your life will go the way you want it to be, you can accept whatever happens in your day, that can only ever happen when you give your life & every thought, every action over to him, that’s when his will ‘thy will be done’ he can really work unimaginable acts throughout your life.

It’s two years since my separation from my husband, there is no going back this time he has chosen his Mother, Father, brothers, the family business, it’s so hard sometimes to believe the man I was married to for 10 years, simply just refused to discuss our life or the children’s, nothing was up for discussion, absolutely nothing, unless it was his work, or anything to do with mechanics, he unbelievable let us go without any fight, that was really hard to forgive, yes I have accepted it but it took a long time, & how sad it was to have being denied your very existing, as a wife, mother, my total being, I knew I was worth more than he was allowing me to be in our marriage, I always felt & hoped love would win out in the end & my husband would come to see it also, but that wasn’t too be, it’s so evident when he calls to pick up our children for their sleep-over, most times when the children leave I shed a few tears, I realise that I won’t always feel like this, it’s absolutely wonderful, as I write these words my Friend Jesus is sitting here with me & I love him so much for chosen me ‘To Spread His Word’ as I know God is here with me, yes I know God is supposed to be everywhere, but just for one hour in my week I love to go to him as he specks the clearest & there is no douth in my heart that he speaks to my mind & to my soul, when I just sit in his presents.

It’s exactly one week since I was in that court room to make our separation legal & for me to get some of the cash that I had put into my marriage home, my husband refused to put in an appearance, this was my second day to go through this as he hadn’t turned up to the previous hearing, nothing can be done as I was to learn his parents had everything in their name, it really was never a equal marriage, I don’t get angry or upset anymore as I know it’s all material & they can’t bring it with them, one day they will meet there maker & just maybe they can explain to him why they did what they did, they never did trust their son & for that I’m so sad, as a mother I would not like to be responsible for my son’s life, in such a way

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that my mother in-law just sat back & never encouraged her son to fight for his marriage & his beautiful children, in the months leading up to me leaving my husband or nobody in his family spoke to me about anything & it took me one full year of living in such a isolating marriage before I got the courage to leave, yet I have always felt he is a good man in his heart, he got lost in his mothers hopes & dreams she had for him, I left with very little, yet I know & believe I have absolutely everything I need & more than enough, God had always & ever provided for me, yes I realize that is very hard to understand just try it by praying & believing God is listening, you also need to spend time by yourself in silent prayer, in this busy world you do have a choice as everybody had choices, it’s up to you & nobody else what you do with your time, my whole life has changed just by putting God first in everything I do, then when things start happening to your favour be very thankful, always be thankful & if things are not to your choosing maybe it’s not for you, then just ask yourself what have I to learn from this situation & who will I meet that is going to make a difference in my day, just ask God, ‘have you anything to say to me today’ be in total acceptance of what he has to say, have your heart open with no hate for anybody, or anything, then you will learn to accept everything that comes into your life, pray, talk & read his word in the Bible, then you’re starting a journey of total contentment & acceptance so rich money can never ever buy. I made a decision that I won’t be bringing my In-laws to court I am going to leave it all in my friend Jesus hands, yes I will be happy doing that as God will see Justice done for me, I know it will all work out the way it is meant to.

My little boy has being having a tough time accepting that his mammy & daddy are living in separate houses, I have being wondering who I could bring him to talk to, as its two years of me seeing the hurt he has being feeling, I couldn’t get a appointment for months with a councillor, I spoke to his teacher she kindly told me he is doing absolutely fine at school, it’s just me he takes out his anger on, I had always felt he needed to talk to a professional councillor, that was until I realised I hadn’t really put him in Jesus’ hands, by me looking for someone else to solve the problem, so now I have him in Jesus’ hands, I continue to pray, always pray & be very thankful, I need you to understand the only way I know how to do that is for me to have my every thought of Jesus my friend, how he is helping me in my every situation in my life.

I realize more & more how Jesus really saved me for himself, he knows so very will what he’s doing since he knows what a memory I have, I can’t remember the mysteries of the Rosary without having them written down, also only he knows what it took for me to remember the Hail Mary, I know as I write these words he has something really exceptional planned for me but I can’t say what it is yet, but all will be revealed one day very soon only with my friend’s help will that happen, It might be hard for you to understand all that I say, I trust him completely with my life & my children’s, Jesus specks to me most nights, I have no doubt in my mind that it is him specking, I know he wants me to come out of my comfort zone but it’s me who is afraid of the unknown, I have walked with him for over 10 years

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now, it’s time to start doing what I was asked to do in Spreading his Word, where ever I am in my home he is with me, he is dressed in white always, when I’m walking up the stairs he is sitting on the top step, yet he is with my children who are in my sitting room & when I walk into my bedroom he is there sitting on my bed, he is here, there, everywhere, that doesn’t mean my children don’t go doing things that they shouldn’t be doing, they do because they are children, I’m very aware our lives on this earth will pass very quickly, I’m not afraid anymore I am ready whenever, or whatever he needs me to do & writing my story is a start.

I would have always go to morning mass whenever possible, I remember it so will one morning the priest saying he would like to wish that young gentleman who sat behind me at mass, the best of his wishes as he was volunteering his services in a third world country, I left the church that morning sad that he hadn’t told me himself as we would often talk after mass yet he never mentioned he was going away, I couldn’t believe it, I cried to my Friend who walked with me always & I said to him I couldn’t believe how I has got it all so wrong why did he feel he couldn’t tell me he was going away, O God I won’t have anybody to talk to after mass who talks about things like we did, so I couldn’t talk to that guy that morning or the next morning, I was still a bit sad thinking he didn’t feel I needed to know he was going away, so I didn’t wait to talk to him after mass, I drove off in my car, as I couldn’t say a word as he owed me no explanation as to what he was doing, I cried to my Guardian Angel saying ‘How did I get you so wrong’ I was so sad from crying, the next morning after mass I walked to my car I didn’t speak to anyone , I was going to miss that gentleman but what could I say, he had being talking to someone, but just then he was running up behind me saying he wanted to say goodbye to me, I couldn’t believe it, so we started talking, we chatted for over half a hour, he told me he had being thinking about going for a while but had just made up his mind since the last time we had spoken, I was delighted for him as I know this is what he is called to do, I told him I had written my testimony in the Medugorje Herald & I could sent it to him, so he wrote down his address, then he said would I give him a hug, which I did, we talked some more, I knew why I was going to miss him, his patience, his whole manner is just beautiful, again he asked me for another hug, absolutely beautiful, as he was going to his car I knew I has 50 euro in my bag so I drove up to his car I went over to him & said I think you will need this more than me, he said are you sure, then he said, well then I need another hug for that, I was so happy to do that, then I got into my car I couldn’t believe it I kept saying thank you God, thank you God, I knew I didn’t get you wrong, I believe he will get in-touch, but only God knows what the outcome will be, I would never want to go against God’s will for me God doesn’t like when his children divorce, his plan has always been for family’s to stay together, and a man has to leave his mother and father and be one with his wife.

I can accept any hardship or sorrow whatever it may be, God has never, ever let me down since he choose to walk with me, I have so much to learn, God knows I’m willing to do

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whatever he asks of me but only on his time will that happen, my heart is always full of joy, its only sad when I feel I’m not doing enough to Spread his Word, I have to learn to wait & do it all in God’s time, only then ‘will his will be done’ it might be a little strange to understand when I say it really isn’t all about what Religion you are, it’s about your relationship with Jesus, Jesus wants each of us to have our own relationship with him, whatever you have being through in life, it really shapes you for the person you are today, no matter how bad it is you need to ask for his help, as he waits patiently for each of us to turn to him, nobody knows why bad things happen to good people, it just does, only God & he alone knows the reason why, he is the only one who can totally set you free, we don’t allow that to happen as we go through life always trying to fix everything ourselves, if you could just pass it over to Jesus. He who knows everything about you, that is hard to do when you are trying to fix it yourself, start of by saying

Dear Jesus into your hands I commence my life, do with me as you please, I am giving you total control of my life.

Then you have to stop trying to fix it yourself, everything you do has to be God’s way, always ask the question. Jesus is this what you would have me do & keep asking that question until you are doing it every day, this is a beautiful prayer if you really mean what it says from your heart

“I shall pass through this world but once, any good thing that I can do, or any kindness I can show to any human being whatsoever let me do it now & not defer it for I shall not pass this way again”

To be able to forgive is of most importance; all throughout your day say these words, Dear Jesus please be with me today. When I hear priest’s at mass saying that Jesus is returning it’s about him returning inside each one of us, I have a large family & good friends but one by one I am feeling each of them withdraw from me bit by bit, as they try to understand me it is difficult for them as I realise more & more that they don’t have a relationship with Jesus the way I do, I have asked Jesus to come into each of their lives but as the don’t seem to answer him I can only put each of them into his hands, I understood it when I was struggling as to know what to say to a dear friend, when we started drifting apart & when I fasted for 24 hours, prayed all day & went to Adoration for one hour asking Jesus what would he have me do, he simply said ‘bring everything to me, leave it all in my hands’ so that’s just what I have done, therefore it has taken my worry as of what to do next, I will pray that whatever way it turns out it will be God’s way & maybe we both will have learned from it, as I know I have much to learn, I’m unbelievably privileged to know Jesus as my only need at this moment is to get to know him more so I will continue to read his word, yes it is a road less travelled by people I know, with his help that will change.

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Because I am changing more & more towards Jesus I am also changing towards people as you can’t possibly walk on both sides of the road it might have taken me a while to realise that but for me I can never go back to walking alone again. I have come to understand also when Jesus says ‘bring everything to him’ that’s just what I do when I go to Adoration , therefore some weeks I go to Adoration 3-4 times a week to his house, it’s great to have nobody telling you how you should be feeling which happened when I went to talk to a councilor about what was happening in my life, he had no idea what God was doing in my life & either had I but I couldn’t ignore how I was feeling I knew no living person could help me , I always felt I should be praying formal prayers but it was so hard to remember any prayers for long that is when I started talking to Jesus always throughout my day & then it got so much easier as I came to realize that God knows what is in each of our hearts, just talk to God yourself & confess everything to him you really do not need a priest, Jesus is the only one who can set you free, I am writing my testimony as I have to give a talk about my experience in Medugorji & I am delighted I’m specking about Jesus, I have had a dream for years now it’s about a building, a building that I have to build with money I get from people but I would always say how do I do that, where would I ever get that amount of money, until I went to Adoration one day when I was leaving the Chapel grounds a young couple came running up to me asking me for 50 cent or one euro as they were homeless & had nothing, I opened my purse & took out the 10 euro I had left in it & gave it to them, I walked away happy to have done what I did, I thought of it when they were gone that I should have asked them to go into the church & say a pray so a few nights later I was reminded about this building that has to be built when Jesus simply said remember the two people asking you for 50 cent or a euro & you gave them what you had in your purse will that’s how you do it, so if that is what I have to do I will do whatever it takes, God would never ask me to do anything if he thought it couldn’t be done, also he told me he would be sending lay people to help me Spread his Word, I really wanted to train as a Eucharist Minister & I felt if I was helping in the church I would be closer to Spreading his Word, at Adoration another day he told me he had people doing that job but no-one had the experiences I had so I need to write & talk about Jesus my Friend, I had no idea how to start writing my story & when I told him in Adoration, straight away he told me the first line, yes I’m as shocked as you are reading this that Jesus specks to me, then when I hadn’t heard any word from Jesus the two previous times I had being to Adoration but the next time I went to talk to him as I sat down & looking straight at the host I just said hallo Jesus in that instant Jesus was at my side sitting in the next chair saying I’m here, sitting beside you, I am always with you, then it got me thinking why is everybody looking at a man made host and believing that it is the only way to talk to God when Jesus said I’m always beside you, always, I don’t say anything I bow my head & thank him so much for being with me, when I go to mass to the priest who believed what I told him about someone talking to me, when I’m listening to his sermons I always look at Jesus by my side, that priest has a voice of Jesus & he has to preach for Jesus

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as he has a very powerful, clear, simple voice but that is for him to realize that he has the voice that people will listen & understand more about Jesus from his Words.

I was asked to share my testimony at a healing mass, I knew I had to tell everyone about Jesus & I prayed so much that I would do a really good job, that morning I had being to mass as I was sitting in the church listening to the priest & when it was time for the readings I got to thinking that will be me up there in a few hours talking about Jesus in my life, I really wanted people to know how he walks each day with me & I needed people to know who really saved me, I had a feeling I was either going to get sick or faint yet I thought I wasn’t nervous when I got home I spoke with Jesus & asked for a clear voice to get my word across, I always cry when I feel Jesus is close to me & as I was driving to the church for the healing mass I started crying & I said Jesus please don’t have me crying later, how will people feel if im crying if you are in me I can overcome anything, just before the service started the priest asked me if I would like a blessing I was delighted, he put both his hands on my head & I knew a peace had come over me in that minute, I spoke with a confidence that I thought I didn’t have, I want people to know what Jesus has done for me and he can do the same for anybody who trusts and believes in him.

I love talking about Jesus & all the wonderful things he has done for me but the very best thing is I see him beside me always so no matter what happens I know he is in control so I leave it all to him therefore there is no need to worry. Another thing I have come to realize is faith & patience walk together & when your faith isn’t working that’s when patience takes over.

You are all brilliant who believe & don’t see, but what do you believe, that if you pray formal prayers that he listens, if you could imagine him walking right beside you like a friend all he wants is for you to see him that way, as his friend, when you go to mass & sit & don’t talk to him, as you are in his house you need to speak to him & ask him personally to talk to you, but please listen, there will be three voices in your head

1. What you think yourself, 2. Satan 3. & God’s tilling you to do the right thing & that is the voice we seem to ignore for some reason, I know I did for years but if you follow him he will always lead you to him.

I feel Jesus very close always, at Adoration he sits in front of me & yet the last time I went when the Host was exposed, straight away Jesus walked down to my seat he knelt on my left, he stayed kneeling, he has went from always being on my right side, to being directly in front of me & now he is at my lift side, I’m always expecting to see him in all his Glory and yet everybody who goes to adoration still looks to the host expecting to see Jesus and that can never, ever, happen as he is beside each and every one of us.

I have known now for a short time that being in a Religion is not the way Jesus wants us to know him, there is too many man-made rules therefore we can never understand or come to

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know Jesus as the one who died on the cross for all our sins, I don’t want to offend or point the finger at any persons, when you worry about something you have being praying about & continue to worry still after you have prayed you really did not trust Jesus completely, when one specks from your heart that is how he gets to know us as individuals, Trust, you need to trust & believe that God’s way will always do the very best outcome for you.

One day I went to Adoration as I sat down I closed my eyes which I never had done before & straight away I was in a beautiful garden & Jesus was sitting in the middle of it with beautiful yellow & red flowers all around him & a little girl came up to him and handed him a flower, I could see my own mother standing behind Jesus , that vision lasted about 20 minutes then I opened my eyes & just got up & left, I didn’t know what to think I never said it to anyone as what could I say, it must have being 2-3 weeks later when my daughter came home with a sore neck I gave her some medicine & made her comfortable on the sofa, after a short time she was up running around, that night as she was going to bed she was sick again with a high temperature I gave her more medicine & she slept till 2am I went into her room she was roasting hot, crying, calling out in her sleep I was thinking why hadn’t I brought her to the doctors that day, then that vision I had in a garden with the young girl walking up to Jesus at that moment I knew Jesus was sitting on the side of her bed watching & straight away I just said to him ‘have you come to take her’ I went to get some holy water I blessed everything then I stayed with my daughter until her temperature went down, then I said to Jesus she is in your hands, there is nothing more I can do, I had never ever thought of ringing a doctor or anybody, I went back to my bed I couldn’t believe it but I fell asleep straight away, that is putting total trust in Jesus I knew I could bear whatever the outcome was to be, then I was woken at 5am by my daughter coming into my room saying Mammy are we getting up yet, the next morning she was covered in spots she was still getting sick so I took her to my doctor after a couple of days my daughter was back to herself again & I have to tell you I prayed & spoke to Jesus all the time which it is something I do every day & night for as long as I can remember that is how I receive my peace 1oo%,

I feel I’m on the verge of something good that is about to happen, as another night after dreaming I woke up blinking as I was dreaming of a mountain, the sun was shining, there was a hole in the middle of the mountain with pure golden sand pouring out from it, straight into my eye yet I didn’t feel anything, my understanding of that dream was I am so close to something which is about to happen, its right in front of me yet I don’t see it or know what it is, it’s ok as Jesus knows where I have been & more importantly he is the only one who knows where I am going, so I wait patiently & faithfully in Jesus name, with continually praise of what he is doing in my life.

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It happened again a few weeks later my little girl wasn’t feeling will going to bed she slept for a few hours, she woke up vomiting, coughing, crying with a temperature I gave her some medicine she was shaking from the cold I didn’t know what to do, within a few minutes my son was in my bed saying to me that he loved me then he surprised me by saying the Angel of God prayer of by heart, I knew I didn’t teach him it then he said too other prayers that I had never heard him say before, I kept saying out loud Jesus I’m trusting you but Anna continued to be sick yet I still continued to say Jesus I’m trusting you, that went on most of the night, when we all woke in the morning in the same bed we were fine as if it never had happened, I asked Stephen how he knew those prayers he had being saying last night, since he had told me he doesn’t say prayers at school he said he didn’t want to talk about it but the following night he said he learns prayers at school, I didn’t say any more to him but I was delighted it was going to be all ok as long as I kept trusting.

It was a few weeks later when I went back to Medugorje I couldn’t wait to go back as I had a feeling that something was about to change for me, I got to share my room with a really nice lady who prayed a lot who did everything by the religious book but she didn’t trust Jesus, she was anxious, worried about a lot of stuff yet she was always praying I didn’t understand it at all, maybe she had though I had a lot to learn from her, all the religious people I would have got to know over the years I would always have though I had something to learn from them, I never thought I had anything to teach them that was until I realized none of them knew Jesus let alone trusted him the know about him but they don’t know him, my week in Medugorji was lovely but I missed my children they had both being sick that week, I was supposed to climb (Apprication) Hill as Our Lady was appearing that night but I wasn’t able to with tiredness. I will be totally honest with you I went to bed crying and asking Jesus’ Why have you brought me out here this is all wrong, but when I woke up the following morning I got up and went up the mountain with eight others from our group, as we started climbing Jesus was walking beside me and as I listened to our Spiritual Director talk about Jesus’ final walk to the Cross I started crying and no way could I stop, the pain Jesus went through by people he knew and the religious order of that time, the further I walked the more I felt his pain, I couldn’t look up to even see where I was walking, I couldn’t see as I had no tissue to wipe my eyes, he known how felt about everything, he had been through it all when he walked to the cross for us, sinners. it was the most powerful experience I had ever felt since Jesus started his walk with me, I know the time has come for Jesus to take back his church from the religious order who have let Jesus down so, so badly Jesus knows it had to start at the top the Pope, Cardinals, Bishops & Priests why is people honoring man & there man-made rules, they have so much to learn if only they ever thought to listen to Jesus & what he had to say to each of them as he talks equally to each of us, we are all his children therefore he treats none of us differently with his love.

The Building Jesus wants built with that priest as our speaker, with his knowledge & his voice that God has blessed him with, will be build, it’s for all the lost people who just don’t

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want a religion but need Jesus in their lives, he wants to gather all those who are scattered who are searching for something to fill that empty hole in their lives, Jesus said he is the light, the truth and the only way to the Father is through me.

So talk to him in complete silence as Jesus will speck, you might not hear him like I did at first, I know now he had being talking to me since he first started walking with me but I didn’t know the man in the brown robe with black scandals used to speak, he has being telling me the same things now as he did 12 yrs ago I never understood the spiritual life in me, so to get my attention he spoke in a audio voice I had no choice but to wonder who was specking & now he always specks to my heart & he shows me much in dreams & visions, he is going to take me from where I am to where he wants me to go & only he has the power to do that.

My friend who went to the priest about having the holy hours for me after my accident was so good & often said why wasn’t there more said about the miracle God had performed with me, after coming home from hospital after l had the operations she was the one who came & offered to do my housework for me, when I left my husband she called to me we talked & she cried because I had the strength to do what I done, in less than one year her husband died very suddenly from a heart attack I was so, so sorry to hear that a few months later she took her own life, I couldn’t believe it as I wanted to call to see her so I sent her a text to say I was praying for her & could I call to see her, she said she wasn’t up to chatting, I let her know I would never forget what she done for me when she started the holy hours for me, too days later I met her in the car while I was out walking she gave me her final wave I would have loved to have a chat with her but she was gone, just one week later I heard she had taken her own life, I cried so much over the next two weeks until the day I was standing at my sink I just happened to turn around & there was my friend standing by the fridge dressed in white her lips were red she looked beautiful, happy like I never really seen her like on this earth, now I talk to her whenever I think of her & I laugh as she would always like things done right but I know now she is with Jesus & its time people turned to Jesus.

After coming home from Medugorje I feel so different inside more than ever I know I don’t want to know Jesus through a religion so I am seriously thinking about leaving behind the religion l was born into, I come out of church just so empty I know I need to hear more about Jesus & now I want to start up Bible reading as we all need to know & understand the Bible.

I remember it so will the Friday evening after being to a Holy Hour walking down the aisle & leaving the church building & known in my heart the catholic religion was not going to bring me closer to understanding Jesus who died on the cross for all our sins, I didn’t know what was going to replace going to mass for me, I have always trusted Jesus & I will continue to trust with all my heart as there is no other way. So after making that decision

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about my Religion I am more at peace & I know I am closer to Jesus, all of what I’m saying is not about me, you or the church it’s all about Jesus.

Now I have my own walk souly with God which doesn’t include going to mass, confessions, adoration or anything to do with a Religion, I sit in total silence, giving thanks for everything in my life, I ask his forgiveness all the time & I never ask God why or when anymore because if your trust is in him it really doesn’t matter one bit, my vision is of Jesus wearing a white robe & large black scandals on his feet, his hair is dark brown, wavy, shoulder length, he is all patience, love & the gentlest man there will ever be, he looks younger than any of the pictures you see everywhere of Jesus, so one night I asked him How do I know it’s you Jesus because you seem to have changed since the first time I seen your face, straight away he put his pearsed hand on my pillow, saying it’s you that has changed I said thank you l will never doubt you again.

I also have a Amplified Bible which explains its self & cds from a Bible teacher who had being serving God for thirty years, I listen & read every day over & over again, each time I do that I get a clearer understanding of what God did for us, he sent his only son to die on a cross for all of us it’s the greatest gift we can ever receive, I am often reminded of the Building I was asked to build & one night in a dream I seen the building is was a large open room with a small room to the left with a table & four chairs around it, I was sitting at it reading & at the other side was a man sitting very quietly l just knew by his manner he was very patient & quiet, the priest who has the voice of Jesus was saying something to me & I thought I had to speck but I was very calm & then he walked out into the room which had a large crowd of people sitting waiting, that was the end of that dream.

Another night in a dream I seen the building & cars & buses were driving up to it, everybody was coming to hear about what Jesus has done for us by dying for us on the cross, the room had lots of chairs the walls were bare, it was warm & very welcoming when you came here is was to know Jesus, not know about Jesus, we all need to know Jesus, there was no pictures, statues, Rosary beads or Rosary’s being said the man that was sitting in that room with me is my prayer partner we pray over people that need healing, Jesus never sent any of his people out on their own they went in twos or threes.

We all need to take God seriously but we shouldn’t take ourselves too seriously that helps me stay balanced, God is our refuge, he is our foundation.

I understand from Jesus that a time comes when we have to walk alone, we have to leave our mothers & have our own journey with Jesus & the same is of him, to get to his father the path is very narrow its only through him not his mother, or any saints, it’s just through him, Jesus Christ & all men need to know that.

The Bible never commands sinners to come to church, the Command is for the church to go to sinners, we as people are the Church, one can’t live a good Christian life if they don’t ‘go’

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after Sinners not to go is rebellious & disobedient to Jesus command, If living a good clean life would get people saved then the Pharisees In Jesus day would have been wonderful soul winners,

Some people think praying for Souls is Soul winning, in 1 Corinthians 1:21 tells us that souls are saved by preaching, Not just praying & without faith it is impossible to please God,

In Hebrews 11:6 its tells us that for whoever comes to him must believe that he exists & that he rewards those who diligently search him.

As a very young girl I was my granddads favorite, I remember him sitting in a big arm chair in our kitchen I would always have run to him & he would have his arms open wide waiting for me to run to him, after my accident when the man in the brown robe started his walk with me I often used to wonder was that my granddad but the man walking with me is tall & my granddad was small & he wasn’t a strong man, then I thought it might have being Padro Pio as I used to pray to him but I knew it wasn’t him as he was well built & a short man, never, ever did I think it could be Jesus but straight away when he told me who he was I just knew, the way he walks & his patience nobody will ever come close to & I go to him now & sit beside him the very same way I remember going to my granddad, I spend my time thanking him for choosing me & asking him what can I do for him, during the night is the most time I feel him talk to me as that is the quietest time & that is the only way you will ever hear Jesus, just when you are still.

Jesus showed me in a dream I had too night ago that it will take longer to get his people to where he wants them, the priest that has the voice of Jesus was standing at his door with a stick as he had hurt his leg & he walked slowly to the car I went over to talk to him & when he turned around he looked different he was much older, his hair was grey & longer he had a grey coat on him, straight away I asked Jesus what happened to him, that’s when Jesus told me he choice not to follow me & step out in Faith, I knew I needed to tell him about my dream but I feel he isn’t listening to me, so straight away I ask Jesus what can I do if there is anything I can say I know Jesus will speck to my heart, then I will do or say what I need to do.

I understand that we all have choices in life & from that dream I know he didn’t step out in faith. Jesus is the only one I know who took my pain away instantly when I had the most terrible pains in my chest & back it was such a sharp pain it was going right through me I couldn’t do anything, the first time it happened I rang the doctor & because I wasn’t able to drive the doctor came to my home, he gave me a injection after a few minutes I was fine, the next time the pain came it was late at night so I rang a ambulance & got my sister to stay with my children, that night in the hospital on the trolley I was so sick I vomited 5 times I remember it was so busy a nurse had gave me five bowls too use if I needed them I remember I had used all of them & the only thing I was thinking was what am I going to use

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when I had used all of the bowls, but at 5am or 5.30am the doctor came around I had stopped vomiting by then he gave a injection for my pain & then I slept for one hour I woke up went to the bathroom & on the way back I met a nurse who had being working that night & I asked her could I go home she looked at me & asked me if l was ok as I had being so sick during the night she couldn’t believe how quick I had recovered, she signed me out & I went home with my sister & looked after my children that day.

I hadn’t that pain again until months later when my sister & our children were going into town I was driving with my daughter & my niece they were talking & laughing & I knew that pain was starting again so I drove for a few miles thinking & hoping it would go away I was driving so slow my sister had stopped her car & waited to see where I was when I pulled in beside her I wasn’t able to talk with the pain I was in, I asked her to take the children from my car which she did then she rang my sister-n-law to come & collect me so when she had left I was on my own which I wanted as I needed total quiet to speck to Jesus & ask him to take my pain away as he was the only one who could & I told him I was trusting him & thanking him for everything in my life & as quick as the pain came it left just as quick, by the time my sister-n-law arrived I was fine I told her I was going to continue to catch up with my sister & our children, that pain has never came back again & I thank Jesus & him alone for healing me, & I know & believe he can do the same for each person who believes & trusts in him & as always I feel unbelievably privileged to know Jesus the way I do.

There is something I need to share with you it’s about Jesus’ mother Mary, Satan he is a very deceiving man & we have being deceived all these years by him Jesus told me as long as people are praying & trusting his mother they will never know the power he has & receive the love & healing he has for each one of us, Satan is a very, very devious man who will go to any lengths to keep people away from Jesus & it has worked so far but that is going to change, no way it is possible to come to Jesus through his mother it’s just not true & anybody who thinks that is being deceived & that is the reason I never felt Mary’s presence or I couldn’t remember any prayers to her, if she has the same power as her son why are people not being cured & really good people who gave their lives to Mary have not being saved, it’s all so wrong & people need to know the truth & it will set them free.

As each day goes by I know something is about to happen for me, earlier this evening when I drove into town my car started to slow down the battery light came on as the temperature light had been on, I didn’t take much notice of it but then the power steering wouldn’t move but I managed to pull in to the footpath I got out of my car & walked into the library with my children all the time I continued to talk to Jesus asking & thanking him for looking after my car & yes it would start when I needed it & if for some reason it doesn’t that’s fine as I am trusting him to get me home, when I got into my car to go home it started first time & I did get home, I brought my children to school the next morning and drove to a garage to get my car serviced and my car stopped just at the entrance to the garage. Jesus is so, so brilliant I

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rely on him for absolutely everything in my life he has never failed to respond to me & if it isn’t to my liking there is something I need to change in me & I do change my thinking, we all need to respect each other & never ever for one moment think you know what someone else is going through unless you have gone through something like it in your life, because you can’t if you just think about it, no one could possible know what is going on in my life & yet some people might think they know me but they know nothing.

Satan has being attacking me for such a long time now the only way he could get to me was through my son I have known that for some time but I couldn’t say anything to anybody, Jesus is greater & always will be, I had to go through it as I knew Jesus was going to release me & my son & now I know he has, I never ever gave up believing, always believe whatever you know in your heart will come to pass. My son started having convolutions when he was 18 months old until he was 4yrs old that was Satan attacking him after each attack I prayed and talked to that man walking with me, I didn’t understand that Satan is the cause of all sickness, its years later now and I pray and lay my hand on both my children’s heads at night when they are asleep and place them in Jesus’ hands until the morning that is something I do at night, every night as we have God’s grace a day at a time, not for tomorrow or next week, it’s for the day and only a day at a time.

For God to work in each & everyone of our lives we need to sow a seed, a seed is what we need to give to God so I used to give to the church when I used to attend mass, I knew when you give to God he will always give more back to you, then I felt that money wasn’t really going to God, That’s when I started giving to people who go to the missions to help the poor & who run a ministry to spread the gospel, I remember it so will the day I wrote a cheque for €1300 as I would have given €20/€30 a month to the missions but I knew in my heart that I should be giving more, when you believe that God gave you what you have in the first place I needed to give back some of what he gave me, if you dream big dreams you need to sow a big seed & then I knew I needed to sow a bigger seed because I was believing him for the cottage that I have always wanted to live in & a new car as my car was giving me trouble, I said to God I don’t mind giving you everything because I believe you will stretch whatever money I have so I never, ever worry because God is in charge of my money, nobody or no bank, I don’t worry about a recession it doesn’t matter about your money because really it was God who gave you everything you have, I will continue giving God all that I have, my life, my children’s lives, my finances everything belongs to him.

When you walk with Jesus & you do something that isn’t God’s way you just know it isn’t right & then you have to repent which is to stop doing what is not God’s way, there is no room for gossip, bad language, talking about another human been that isn’t pleasing to God because we do not know the heart of another person even when they do something not to your liking God knows what is in their heart & he is the one that they have to face one day &

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that for me is enough to know that God knows everything, about everyone there isn’t anything he doesn’t know about you.

Life is like a coin you can spin it any way you like but you only get to spin it once.

Matthew 6:33

‘But seek first his kingdom & his righteousness’

Jesus never offered people a message that said ‘look’ just be sincere, simply take the Religion of your choice, the main thing is to think positively of God & be sincere, lead a clean life & God will smile at you when you die.

“That kind of thinking is hearsay” there is one way by Jesus own admission it’s the narrow way, it’s the road less travelled.

You will always have a need inside you to help people especially the elderly, the sick anyone who is in need there is something inside me that just wants to help people & talk about how good Jesus is, to those who believe, not just people who believe & then doubt, & then doubt some more but too people who believe with every breath the take, it’s all because of Jesus Christ.

Faith comes by hearing the Word of God. If every person only knew that by placing your complete trust in Jesus Christ you can have complete peace in your mind, heart & body he will be everything you ever need & much, much more, simply trust with all your heart & believe!

I do understand that some people would love to have a relationship with Jesus & that will only happen, one way, when you read his Word in the Bible, Jesus said seek first his kingdom & righteous, the kingdom is not a religious order or a organization, It’s all about what Jesus did for us on the Cross it never was about what we are doing for him, it never was, it’s about the power of the cross. People are preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ not the Gospel that Jesus preached.

The secret of the seed is that it has to stay planted to germinate you can’t keep it in the ground one day a week & expect it to bring you fruit God’s Word is a seed it needs to abide in your heart continually to produce results, being constant is the only way.

By his grace, God has already done everything to provide salvation, our part is to believe & trust. Jesus I confess that you are my Lord & Savior I believe in my heart that God raised you from the dead, by faith in your word, I receive salvation, our part is to believe & trust.

The Resurrection of Jesus makes Christianity different from a Religion because we are dealing with a real live person; it is Christ living in us that gives us power to live a victorious life, if there was no resurrection there wouldn’t be any power, without Jesus being alive,

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Christianity would be just another dead Religion. When you repent of your sins you have to believe with all your heart that God has forgiven you he remembers your sin no more, that for me was unbelievable to accept that God has forgiven me for everything I had done, I was continually asking God to forgive me taking my children away from their Dad & ending my marriage, I didn’t understand it when you repent God forgives you the first time, all we need to do it ask him & then it is forgotten by him, when Jesus died on the Cross his blood was shed for all our sins, whatever you have done & you still feel bad about what you did, it’s your own doubt that couldn’t receive his forgiveness, we believe he couldn’t forgive just like that, he is our heavenly father we all are his children, he removes our all our sins as far as the East is from the West. When a person does a lot of good works in their life he is loved no differently in God’s eyes to a person who has done a lot of bad, one can’t get away with doing bad things, it’s when they repent that God can forgive them, when the refuse not to repent that & only that way will you go to hell when you refuse to believe in Jesus Christ and what he done for each of us on the cross.

I have to tell you over the past few months I have being the most spiritual I have ever being, as I wait for God to do the work in me that he has planned for me, I asked Jesus what do I have to do, he said you have passed all the tests that you didn’t even know you were being tested for because I trusted Jesus with absolutely every thought, every action I took, I took it all in Jesus’ name l know God it about to move again in my life as straight away that picture of Jesus sitting at a door with the latch on our side, he’s waiting for each of us to come into him, it’s not him who has to come into us & I got it, I have to hold the door open for everybody & point them to Jesus, wow it made complete since to me.

Christianity is a Revelation all the things that be not as though it were, keep your focus on the end result you want & I got it, Jesus had showed me the end from the beginning. The challenge for me is doing what God has planned for me in a world trying to make me like everybody else; God never, ever gives up on you when you start to seek his Kingdom.

Each of us who wonder about God & his Righteousness, ask your-self these questions:

Have you ever told a lie? Then what are you? A liar

Have you ever stolen anything? Big or small? Then you’re a thief

Have you ever taken the Lord’s name in vain? That is blasphemy

Have you ever looked with lust at another man or woman? Then you have committed adultery in your heart

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Now after that would you go to heaven or hell?

Our God is a just God he treats everyone fairly, so then what if someone killed, murdered, stole would you like God to over look what they had done? No, therefore a sin is a sin you have broken the Commandants.

Jesus Christ paid the price by his death on the cross for all out sin’s big or small, what we need to do is believe in Jesus Christ, repent of our sins, which means don’t sin again, then get a Bible & read it every single day a chapter every day that is the only way you can get to know the true word of God then when you get to know the truth in your heart, you are born again, get baptizes in the holy spirit & you are a new man in Christ.

The Lord is my shepherd there is nothing I shall want.

If God be for me who can be against me.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

This is the day the Lord has made I shall rejoice & be glad in it.

For years I went around saying those Scriptures I didn’t even know how I came to know them I said them every single day, all day when I knew or understood very little, that is how I came to know Jesus, you can start the same way also, everybody need to start somewhere the more you seek the more you will come to understand, Jesus Christ.

A Born again Christian is one who understands what Jesus Christ did for us on the Cross in Calvary. No one can be born again by their mothers it’s when you start a new life with Jesus that you get born into his life. We all need to ask Jesus to come into our lives & take over everything because you can’t do it on your own but with Jesus you can do all things through him.

Lord Jesus I repent of my sins come into my life, make me your Lord & Savior

Heavenly Father thank you, that you keep every promise you make, your words says that you will supply all my needs according to your riches in Glory by Christ Jesus. The present of pain does not mean the absence of God, We should never, ever get caught up by the things of this world Believe, believe with all your heart there is no other way that Jesus is our savior, God gives you pain to learn how to be strong, stay positive, never give up & always be grateful. You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind. It’s when everything is taking away from you that is how you come to a better understanding of the power of Jesus Christ.

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I said to a friend one evening that I didn’t need a rosary beads or pictures of Jesus or his mother to pray, I just talked to that man walking beside me all the time, she didn’t really understand me so I asked her to imagine for a moment that you are on a mountain with nothing or nobody who understands you, now remember you have no Rosary beads, prayer book, pictures there is just you, you lost your memory so you don’t remember much & then a man starts walking beside you, you don’t see him the way you see a living person, you see him in a spirit body you just know, that you know, that you know, that there is a man walking with you, at first you don’t say anything as he is just their walking with you, it doesn’t matter how much you knew about anything at one time because now you don’t know much about anything, so you start to trust that man walking with you for everything as he always leads you to where you need to be, that is the way it was for me for 10 yrs just trusting that man walking beside me, I just knew that he knows everything there is to know about me & then to learn that it was Jesus Christ Wow! You might think that your life is going to be easy with no troubles or trials to overcome, will you would be wrong to think that, its knowing that whatever happens in your life good or bad it is all going to be alright because Jesus is in charge & to believe & trust with all your heart, I was on the Internet looking for a Christian Church that I could join & then I found a church 25 miles away I started going to it every Sunday & straight away I knew I was in the right place because they were followers of Christ I love the welcome the people give me, as we are all believers in Christ, I never, ever found that going to mass trying to find Jesus in a Religion, it just can’t happen & it never will. I have started going to a Bible study class & really getting to know & understand the life of Jesus & what he has done for us, all of us are sinners & no good works will ever change that, Jesus has done amazing work in some people but it’s not about us & what we have overcome, it’s all about him & the power of the Cross, he is the only one who bears all the scars for our sins, people need to know that, it’s what he did for us, he had no sin yet he took all our sin, not some of it, all of it upon himself, Wow, People don’t know that about Jesus, I have tried saying to some people that following a Religion is wrong, even to say the hail Mary that she is the mother of God, she was a girl who got favor with God, Mary was so blessed & chosen to be Jesus’ earthly mother & that is where it ends, on the Cross Jesus said to John there is you mother & to his mother he said there is your son pointing to John, the Bible never says you can come to your heavenly father through Mary Jesus’ earthly mother how can that be, even to say the hail Mary is wrong & that is why I never could remember anything of the prayers to Mary & when you pray to Mary you will never, ever, ever come near Jesus & that is what Satan wants as he goes around like a lion keeping the truth from people, appearing in different parts of the world that is so wrong, no way could she appear to anyone but the evil one can as God has let him have his way on earth that is until Jesus’ return.

It’s amazing how you sees thing when you know the truth, which is something I never knew in my life nobody was totally honest with me & now nobody can tell me anything that is not

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the truth. I never look to anybody for praise in anything I do; I always want to please my heavenly father it’s for him I do what I do. I say a big Amen to that.

In Matthew 6:19-21

Do not Lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal: for where you treasure is, there your heart will be also.

The Lord is angry with Religious folk who try to control his people, Jesus came to earth not because he needed us, it was for us he came as it was us who needed him, We must understand that we can’t change what we will not confront, If you pursue riches your heart will never, ever be satisfied, Jesus said if any man come after me let him deny himself completely, Submit all to Jesus Christ, I realize also if you do all the religious things people don’t mind one bit but start tilling people about Jesus in the Bible and people don’t want to know you, they think ‘What has got into that one’ I know I am just one, but I am one and that is all it takes, just one body to stand at the door for Jesus Christ, I want to be that one because the riches he has is so much greater that what this world could ever give me.

Every single day I see Sin all round me, in the way people are talking, things they are doing, watching on TV, people houses are full of stuff that no-way do they need and sickness everybody is controlled by Satan, I know nobody wants to see it that way but that is the Truth, if you are not following God they only other way is the Evil one’s way. People don’t want to know, I see it so much with families getting their child ready for Holy Communion the total nonsense that is going on in preparation for the day I want to scream it’s all so, so wrong but I can’t say a word I just have to go along with it, not one of them knows Jesus Christ, they want their child to have their day out, even as I write this my heart is so sad and I ask God why is it that you draw some people to you and not others, his answer to that is the same as always some people listen and others put me in a corner to be taking out whenever it suits them and other don’t believe I exist.

People wonder why God lets all the bad things happen in the world, it’s not because God doesn’t love us it’s because we are all sinners and Satan wants to rule the world everyone just wants more, give me more, I want more, people want him to help them all the time, and then just forget about him when they get what they want, everyone things it’s there own merit things happen, it’s not, its God who is in control of everything, if you just look at the World and how mad its gone, yes you would wonder where he is, and he is where he always has being waiting for each of his children to turn to him, just one at a time and when you get to know him he is so patient with you until you know the truth in your heart, when you Submit to Jesus Christ it is so great and he will break you from the chains that surround you,

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it’s when you Submit, isn’t that a lovely word ‘Submit’ all to him “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” that means all things, yes even your addiction whatever that may be, tell God as he knows everything about you anyway so ask him to help you.

I know I have moved up a notch in God’s eyes because of the way my life has changed, everything in it the way my children behave is so great my daughter wants to know all about Jesus, I was reading a bedtime story to her the other night when I got that pain in my body just like before straight away I went in to my bedroom and got down on my knees and thanked God as he is the only one who can take my pain away it lasted about 3 minutes and then it left as quick as it came, I went back to finish reading the story I told my daughter that my pain is gone now and then she said mammy my foot is so sore all day, I looked at it and held her foot and I got her to repeat this prayer

“Dear God please take the pain away from my foot Thank you in Jesus’ name! Amen. Shortly after she was asleep, next morning at breakfast I asked her about her foot she said the pain is gone; I just said we have to thank God for that.

That pain in my body came back again the next day so just like before I praised God for taking it away but this time it wasn’t going so I thought I would do the same as the last time and kneel at my bed, this pain I get is so sharp, I got to the stairs & sat down begging God to take the pain away, for some reason I knew I needed to do what I done the last time I got it so I did get up the stairs and kneeled at my bed thanking God and instantly and I mean instantly it left me I thanked God straight away and that is what he meant by Submitting to him, do what he says and he will break you down to his way and that is how I feel I have gone up a notch with God.

God should come first in any man, woman, or child’s life but men have a responsibility as the head of the home and to love their wife the way God loves his church, love her and help her without any complaints and she will gladly submit to her husbands, God took a bone from Adam’s side to make Eve, he didn’t take it from his foot so men should not feel they are better than women, a man should be the head of the family it’s when you know who you are in Christ that all things are possible, even the marriage that is in total despair can survive if both parties knows Christ their Savior, children need to respect their elders and elders should not antagonize their children, men don’t know how to act in their homes they have never been shown, where are all the role models gone, there is strife in most homes because nobody knows their role any more, I have to say the Bible is so full of knowledge for everything in life but nobody reads it the way it should be read, it takes a good off man of God to explain it.

Jesus was baptized a Christian so therefore a true Christian known his Savior and they need to be the ones to teach it, Schools should have classes in Bible study, with God’s help and

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his help alone will that ever happen but I know someone has to start and nothing ever happens until someone steps out.

And then the strife starts with all the different Religions wanting their say in how it should be taught, Jesus come quickly please the world needs you and his answer to that is I work through people, and so where are your people? I am getting them ready I always work through people, sometimes just sometimes it takes more than what a person can do, Jesus needs to get right in there and shake up the world just the way it needs to be shaken up, I can’t wait until that day, God can take all I have, he can take it all gladly if I am standing with nothing I still know who I am in Christ and I will survive because he is in me and I am in him, so I can’t lose, ever.

We all need to put on God's amour every single day, but like me I never knew it excited, while all the Religious people are getting ready for the big Religious festival in a few months I know not one of them know it either, Jesus will be on everyone of their lips but not one of them will know him through their heart, which is the only way Jesus' wants you to know him, have you put on: The Belt of Truth, the Breastplate of Righteousness, the Helmet of Salvation, the Shield of faith or the Shoes of peace 

I want every single person to know what I know, yes I know people who know me all my life will think what does she know, And I will say I know nothing without Jesus Christ.I acknowledge that I am a sinner I believe Jesus died for my sins on the Cross and rose again the third day, I repent of my sins, By faith I receive the Lord Jesus as my Savior, you promised to save me and I believe you because you are God and cannot lie, I believe right now that the Lord Jesus is my Savior and that all my sin’s are forgiven through His precious blood, I thank you dear Lord, for saving me In Jesus’ name! Amen  Most days I like to go for a walk I love it knowing that Jesus is always walking with me, when he first started walking with me I remember it so will his feet just always walking beside me, sometimes he would be skipping beside me & laughing but I was so sad back then, yet I would be smiling thinking, who would ever believe me if I said that a man nobody could see but me was walking with me, he still walks with me when I go for my walk & this happened last week, as I often park my car at the school gate and go for a 40 minute walk and when I get back I pick up my daughter from school, I pass a house just down from the school where a Alsatian dog lives he always barks when I pass but because he has a special collar that doesn’t let him pass his gate I never worry so when he started barking & came running for me it happened so fast he jumped up on me & nipped at my right hip I felt something so sharp I didn’t know if it was his claws or his teeth so I shouted at him to go home which he did, I couldn’t believe it, I was thinking that dog can get out & what about all the school children just up the road from him, I needed to till the man who lived there but he wasn’t home, but he was home the next day so I went in I didn’t even think about the dog being in the garden, a lady came to the door and she looked at me & just said your

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Bernie??? I didn’t know her I had never met her before she just said I work in the intensive care unit in the hospital & I remember you had a very bad accident a few years ago, she said it was you wasn’t it, I just said yes 12 years ago and she said I looked after you and then she said you are the miracle woman and look at you now, I told her about the dog & said I just wanted to till the owner seeing he lives so near the school, that lady doesn’t even live at that house she was just visiting I thought it was all God’s doing how we met after all these years & the way we met.

When my son was born I remember another nurse coming in to see me she worked in the intensive care unit while I was there after my accident & she had to come & see me & she said have you any idea how bad you were, I spent two weeks in the unit.I will tell you what I remember of that time, nothing, it was later much later month, maybe years, that flashes came back to me just of people who visited me in the hospital, I remember falling out of the bed one night & been on the floor & I couldn’t move, my right side was partially paralyzed I had very little movement, I couldn’t see because I had very bad double vision from the shake my brain had received & my speech was slurred, & the bit people will never understand I didn’t know anything, when I say I knew nothing I mean nothing went on in my head it was as if I didn’t even think anymore, it only changed when I went to the Rehabilitation Hospital when I went to the speech therapist and she asked me to read something back to her and I looked at her and said to myself she doesn’t know that I can’t say it back to her I don’t know how to, after a few moment she just said it’s ok this happens after a brain injury. I went for occupational therapy I remember being given a map of Ireland with all the counties written in it and been asked to tick of each county when I found it, I didn’t understand what she meant until she explained what I needed to do.The phyico therapy was the toughest I couldn’t walk properly for long, I dragged my right leg as it was so heavy and I always felt as if I was going to fall over because when I looked down I felt the ground moving, I had that feeling for almost 3 years after my accident, I always felt nobody understood because I looked fine on the outside, let me tell you it was the loneliness time because I hadn’t a clue how to relate to people and I felt nobody really wanted to listen to me, I knew I had changed so much, I would just say it out whatever needed saying I didn’t seem to have any worries about what I said, I know now I was telling people the truth but they didn’t want to hear it, everybody was so false, nobody seemed to tell the truth & did the complain they complained about everything and people still do to this day, that is why I don’t get people most of the time they have everything yet are never, ever happy until the find something to complain about or someone.

I have told you so much yet you don’t really know me I am so thankful God does because he made me this way I have a fire in-side me for years because I need people to know the truth about Jesus Christ our savior and nobody else seem to want change, I know it’s part of life we all need to change and the freedom I have within is all from Jesus Christ Our Savior, people need to know the real Jesus Christ and what he went through for you and me and all of the human race.

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The apostle Thomas was at one time a doubter, he wouldn’t believe Jesus had risen until he had seen his parsed hands and side and when he had seen then he believed and then he became a shouter for Jesus Christ and I realize the same can be said of me, I couldn’t believe it was Jesus walking with me and when I did, I believed, and now I want to become a shouter for Jesus Christ, to realize my heavenly father choose me, me, oh what a privilege it is, those pains I get will I have been getting them more frequent but each pain I get I know they are birthing pains for what is about to happen its almost one year since I started to know the truth about Jesus Christ after coming from Medugorji and now I know I am going to be delivered from my pains as I know I am so near giving birth to what God has planned for me and then I realize the whole world is full of doubters, there is also so many who believe and when you believe with your heart and confess with your mouth that ‘Jesus Christ is Lord’ you are on that road to been saved.  I have been in a building just like the one from my dream that Jesus wants build, I was at a conference up North, there were three ladies talking about Jesus Christ and what he has done in their lives as I sat listening I know this is what I have to do, I will do whatever it takes to tell people what Jesus has done for me, everyone needs to give their lives’ to Jesus, I know some people don't understand how too, people want what I have yet they don't want to do what I do, which is Believe and Trust my heavenly father and his son Jesus Christ with absolutely everything.

A friend said to me one evening it’s easy for you, you have been through a lot and that is where you get your faith from, what could I say it wasn't always like this Jesus changes you from the inside first, my life had changed after my accident years ago, that was God's doing and I love that he gave me the biggest wakeup call anybody could ever have, now I know who I am and there is so much more to what this life has to offer, it’s all about eternity where each and everyone will be going when we leave our earthly body's, when you believe with your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, believe in Jesus not in a Religion.Just maybe all that I write is falling on deaf ears but I will continue to press forward I will never, ever, give up on my dreams, It was the end of July maybe the beginning of August that I knew been in a religion was not going to bring me closer to knowing what Jesus had done for me on the Cross over 2000 years ago.

I came across this quote one day which I can relate too so much“Depart from the highway and Transplant thyself in some enclosed ground for it is hard for a tree that stands by the wayside to keep its fruits until it be ripe”

Sometimes it can take a long time to get to where you need to be when God is doing his work in you, the only way is to have your feet firmly planted in his ‘Word’ that way you can’t be swayed by what other people are saying and you will have some people try its only when you know the truth will you ever stand firm. Now I’m smiling when I think back and how hard it was for me to really understand and remember anything for long and I though how could I ever talk and tell people about Jesus I would get all mixed up and nothing ever came out of my mouth as if I knew what I was

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talking about, I did not understand how God was going to bring my dreams too pass because I know and believe in my heart that they will come to pass and ‘God will make a way’ and it will only be his way not man’s way.I feel this is all of the people I know who are following Jesus through a Religion who sits in mass on Sunday mornings-

They attend church, but their heart if far from God.They read the Bible, but their heart is far from God.

They pray eloquently, but their heart is far from God.They contribute money, but their heart is far from God.

They do ministry, but their heart is far from God.They love to sing, but their heart is far from God.

They talk to others about Jesus, but their heart is far from God.

Open your heart and invite Jesus in, all you have to do is ask, yes it’s that simple, and then be prepared for the change as the Holy Spirit does its work in you, it all starts from the in-

side.The real key to happiness is not doing what you like, but in liking what you do; Jesus is the only one who ever said

“Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden”

Luke 12: 8-9 says everyone who acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man also will acknowledge before the angels of God, but the one who denies me before men will be denied before angels of God.

When I read that I knew I had to tell people about Jesus I wanted to acknowledge who got me to where I am today, Yes family and friends played a big part but its Jesus Christ I give all the credit it was him and him alone who saw me through it all.

When I didn’t understand a thing, it was him who understood me.

Reading about Job in the Bible I can relate to him just a bit, that pain I get in my body it is so severe I cannot speck I concentrate completely on Jesus and the pain leaves me, sometimes it could take 10 minutes or more sometimes, I often thought of going to my doctor until I think back to the four operations I had on my arm and all the procedure’s that went with them and the pain still was the same, my cousin said to me one day if they cut your arm off you would just say OK shur that's grand and she was right because there was something inside of me that just knew I would survive, and no way will I ever go through that again, that pain never, ever left me I had it constantly, when I know Jesus can heal me now I don't mind how long it has to be like this I will always trust and believe that God has healed me.  I know this to be so true when you have all the material stuff you could ever want you really don’t have anything worthwhile in your life it’s when and only when you have Jesus’ in your heart that is when you will ever be complete and if you don’t agree with what I say that is because you

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don’t know Jesus Christ in your heart and what he has done for each and every one of us, when you know him as the living Christ will you ever come to understand the power of one man Jesus Christ.

I was watching a clip on the Internet of a man and his son, the Dad worked at a railway crossing he was in charge of a lever that changed crossings and on the train were people of all walks of life. The man son was watching out for his Dad when he fell down a hole on the track now if the Dad pulled a lever to save his son it would mean the train crashing and killing all the people on it, the choice the Dad had was he to pull a lever and the train would crash or let his son die.

He let his only son die and not one of those people on that train would ever know what that

man did by letting his son die and saving them, now isn’t that exactly what God did for us.

I, like everybody else hadn’t a clue what God did for me and every single one of us needs to know the truth the time has come for every single knee to bow in the name of Jesus Christ. Acts 2:38: Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. And that is just what I did I got baptized. Water baptism will not save you when you’re a baby, it’s only when you come to understand what Jesus did by dying on that cross and give your life to him will you be saved. Amen.

You might think that all the authority, all the preaching must come from the pulpit; it’s not true it comes from the life of those who follow Jesus. Most people act as though comfort and luxury were the only requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy in our hearts is just to know why Jesus died on that cross for each and every one of us, yes and that means you also. We who are saved have a responsibility to save others I ask God to use me to get others saved because if you have no wish for others to be saved you need to ask the Holy Spirit to intervene for you as we have an obligation to serve God.

So why not start this very minute? Go on just ask God into YOUR life and start having a deep, personal relationship with him today! I thank God so much for what he has done for me in my life. I say to God at night when I talk and thank him for my day, I love you my heavenly father for sending your son to walk with me, Jesus died so I can live for and through him. He is the very same today as he was over 12 years ago when he first started to walk with me; he has never, ever changed, I have changed so much and it’s all from the inside. That is where it has to start from the inside, out, and now it’s so great for me to get on my knees to thank God for all he has done.

I knew I had to move again but I didn’t know where too then one day I had just come home from picking up my daughter from school and two doors down from where I lived there was a van with a man and woman at a house I didn’t know if they were moving in so I went over

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to them the man told me they were the owners and that they were painting and getting it ready for renting so I asked him if I could have a look around, his wife showed me around it was bigger than the house I was living in, the rent was cheaper, it was in great condition so I just asked her if I could move in and four weeks later I was settled in to my new home.

I knew God was testing me to see if I would obey him as I have known for a little while I had to move but I didn’t know where to, I also knew God would provide all l needed, so I knew I had to wait on God and I know when he says go you have to go and he will provide the way when you trust him and then absolutely everything worked out perfectly he sent people to help just at the right minute and I know also you never, ever, need to worry about anything.

I went from having a few thousand euro in the bank down to a few hundred and then down to just 94 euro it’s easy to trust God when you have money in the bank but he will test you; when you have nothing left will you still trust him, and I can say yes completely as he will provide my every need, his grace is for one day at a time, not for tomorrow or next week its one day at a time with moving into a new house and providing for my children, food, heat and petrol for my car I wanted to see how God was going to provide and then the auctioneer from my old house came with the 350 euro deposit I had giving him when I moved in, I had completely forgotten about it I didn’t think I had even paid a deposit until he reminded me.

I laugh now thinking if I had worried it really would have showed God if I really trusted him or believed his Word was it for others and not for me.

Every person needs to get into The Word its God’s Word in John 1:17 for the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

John 3:5 Jesus answered “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot see the kingdom of God

In 1 Thessalonians 5:16 -18 Rejoice always pray without ceasing. Give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Isaiah 53:5

By his Stripes we are healed; I constantly say that scripture

Isaiah 53:6

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned-everyone-to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

2 John: 1:10

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If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching do not receive him into your house or give him any part in his wicked works.

Romans 5:3-6

We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character and character produces hope and hope does not put us to shame because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. For while we were still weak at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.

In Romans 8:31

If God is for us who can be against us? He who did not spare his own son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things.

When you read scriptures like that doesn’t it just jump out at you God is a just God. He is living inside each one of us and yet people don’t know each of us have the power to heal our own bodies. I have been reading God’s Word for the past year since I came to realize we can never know the truth as Satan wants us all to be in the dark to stay in a religion trying to find God by the works we do, so far he has won but I know my God is mightier.

For me so far I have trusted God in all my life but there was one area in my life that was so hard to let go and that was letting my son go to live with his dad for the summer holidays which was for 9 weeks that wasn’t so bad until I realized his nanny and granddad were looking after him she was the one person I did not want rearing my child I had always felt she had my husband all to herself after I left him and then to realize she wanted my son she had a told him so many times that he would be coming back to live over there with them after he finished school she had a house for him to live in and stock to farm the land he would want for nothing. It’s so hard to put into word how I had nothing but my total love for my son compared to all the stuff she could give him and as he is only eight he loved it all, I couldn’t do anything about the way he would speak to me I remember one night after talking to my son on the phone just for a few moments and he said what do you want? And he repeated it three times I couldn’t say a word just I will go now and I love you, bye. And then I when upstairs to my room and roared cried, my daughter was here with me and after she went to bed then it all came out I could not stop crying I woke at three in the morning crying to Jesus what was I to do that woman has my son she is going to ruin him he will be so lost just like his dad thinking his mother would provide everything for him, I cried so much for almost three hours and then I said to Jesus’ please take him home to you because if he stays with her Satan is going to be in control so take him I will know he is with you and I will see him again, I was kneeling on the floor by my bed and Jesus was just opposite it and he said so clearly to me “Vengeance is mine” I got into bed and said to Jesus ‘you won’t do anything you are all love’ that was the night I let it all go then I slept for two hours I got up early as I do to spent it with Jesus’ I start my day with Jesus everyday then whatever

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happens I can cope which I did that day and now its seven weeks since my son was home and God knows so well how hard it was for me all the tears at night but the morning always brings a peace that I can’t explain but only for Jesus Christ do I do what I do or could ever do, no way could it be done without him, I also know God is testing me with her so I will continue to pray for her and I pray every night for her and the rest of her family, I mean that from the bottom of my heart I also know she is not saved but she will come to know Jesus one day.

A dream I had one night I was on a train the train pulled in a station my mother n law was waiting to get on and just as the train was pulling off she stepped on to it I said you’re just in time.

Two days later I rang my son and he said Mammy do you want me to come home all I could say was Only if you want to, and he said yes I want to come home but will you tell Granddad which I did and ten minutes later my son was home and he never wanted to go for a sleep over after that night, God gets all the praise for answering my prayer.

Yes I do get so sad thinking how controlling she was of her own children and yet she wasn’t happy until she had my son living with her, maybe she thought I won’t fight for my son and she is so right I don’t have to Jesus is in control of it all whatever she may think. Yes I pray continually for patience and I said to Jesus one night You love everyone so you are not going to do anything to her and I felt that I had to stand up for myself as she is going to have both my children then I realized she will never be in control completely as Jesus is more than enough for me he was the one that made it possible for me to have my children and he has a plan for each of them the belong to him and I know because of what both my children have been through.

When my son was just over one year old he started have convulsions where he would fall on the ground shaking uncontrollably he was brought to the hospital but nothing could be done about them as once he stopped having the seizure he would sleep for a little while, I was told he would grow out of them he had one every year until he was four years and then he did grow out of them. I am always reminded of a clear vision I had one night with two pictures in front of me the one on my right was of my husband and my children and on the left was Jesus and Colm standing beside him. I still don’t know after almost two years what it means but I will know one day, another dream I had of Colm was when I went to a door it was answered by Colm he had a bandage on his head he was wearing a orange sweat-shirt and green trousers I said to him are you ready and he said no, look at me and I said walking into the room that it doesn’t matter what you look like it’s what you have to say that matters and then I left and I went into a room where there was lots of people and I was sitting talking to two ladies and I had a seat kept for Colm but he never came to it.

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I also know there is not a living soul that I can talk to about what is happening to me so I wait for Jesus to come back. For the past couple of weeks I have been volunteering in Hospic I wanted to ask everyone there if they knew Jesus and what he did for them, so the first time I asked a patient there did he know Jesus. He said yes and then he said you know all religion is wrong, we spoke for almost two hour and I loved it. On my way home that little voice I hear inside telling me to give some money away so they first person I thought of was Colm out in Calcutta and just like that I went into the bank I was going to give €200 and then that little voice said give €400 I didn’t even think about it I just took out that amount I was asked to give and then I thought I will have to give it to his mother for her to put it into his bank account and I thought if I could just put into the money into his account myself and I won’t say anything to anyone but I needed some details first so I called into his mum’s house and just as I was pulling into drive there was a man standing outside I thought it was another son she had and I’m thinking to myself what am I going to say now and when he walked over to my car I think he said my name and I said Colm now what was I going to say we talked for a bit and then I got out of the car and said I have money for you and handed him the money, he was very thankful for it, he is home for one month and then he is going back volunteering and this time it’s to build churches I wanted to say to him make sure you tell everyone about Jesus and what he did for them, but I didn’t, I will leave that for God to place on his heart.

I laughed when I got home the first thing I got was a letter from the tax office to pay over €385 for my car tax and just like everything else I just said thank you God for taking care of that for me too.

In Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

And in Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths.

Now how could anything go wrong when you believe those scriptures to be true? In Matthew 6:1 lt says Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven

For over two years now the face of Jesus that I see is different to all the pictures I have ever seen not one of them is anything like the face I saw over two years ago and I couldn’t get a clear vision of his face and yes it bothered me just a bit until I was reading.

1 Corinthians 11:14 Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him.

So why did Jesus go around wearing long hair when it is against what his heavenly Father intended. I know Jesus is coming back soon and when he does not too many will recognize

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him, I will be feeling just a little disappointed that I did not bring anyone to him when I told people about Jesus everyone just didn’t understand what I was saying and nobody talks about how I know what I know, people don’t read the Bible or understands it but I get it now, it’s only when you start to seek him will God reveal himself to you and it doesn’t happen in a day, a week or a month it can take a long time to get to know God’s Word and keep it in your heart every single day and then you will want and need to spent time every day in his presence and I know I am so, so privileged to know him the way I do. I bet I would never have got to know God if he had not chosen to walk with me the life I was living before my accident was so far from God and what he had done for each of us who believe in his son Jesus Christ. I know now I would not be going to heaven and now I blame the religion I was in all the religious people don’t know either, it says in

Matthew 7:21-23 Not everyone who says to me ‘Lord, Lord; will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven, on that day many will say to me, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and cast out demons in your name and do many mighty works in your name and then will I declare to them ‘I never knew you depart from me you workers of lawlessness.

I have pages of scriptures wrote down and everyone of them have something to say to me in Luke 17:24 it says The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man.

And in Luke 17:25 it says Nor is he served by human hand, as though he needed anything since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.

Isaiah 40:31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

My son is preparing for his communion and I am so calm with the whole situation his father, grandparents, teacher and the priest know I do not agree with what is going on but like everything in my life absolutely nobody is taking any heed of my opinion but Jesus oh my friend Jesus knows what I am up against and I am leaving it completely in his hands and I know without a shadow of a douth I have nothing to worry about. I love to say ‘if Jesus brings me to it; he will bring me through it and I can never, ever lose. My son will not talk about his communion day to me, as his father and his nanny are doing all the preparation for it, they have never ever mentioned Jesus to him they never go to mass yet they will be going all out for this one day, its fine with me as I still pray and talk to my son about what Jesus has done for him, we kneel at his bed at night and thank God for all he has giving us that day and we thank him for sending his Son back to this earth for all who believe in him, and one night my son started crying so hard for his daddy as he knows his daddy does not know Jesus the way we do and he could not stop crying and saying will daddy go to hell and I said no Jesus will draw daddy to him and do not worry about that, I try to show his dad how I

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have never been more content in my life and it’s all because of knowing Jesus Christ, I gave him a Bible and some cds to listen to and a web site to go on too to see for himself but he refused to do anything and our son was watching his dads reaction all the time and then he said daddy won’t do anything and I said but Jesus will, so let’s not worry, I am so delighted to see the change in my son as he is learning more about Jesus yes he still rebels against me about things but its noting to the way he used to be before I passed him over to Jesus to show him His way not my way, it’s when you let it all go everything and I mean absolutely everything that Jesus can start His work in each of us

Philippians 4:19 and my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

I believe God in what he says in the Bible it’s his Word.

Then just a few days later I got an email from a lady she told me her husband had passed away a few years earlier he was a great man of God and after praying and fasting she got my email address she told me she had always served Our Lord and as she was dying from cancer with no children of her own she wanted to see her and her husband’s money go to someone who put the money to God’s use and she wrote to me. When I read the email I knew she knew Jesus the way I did so after a few emails she said she wanted the money spent on advancing God’s Kingdom so then I sent her this story about Jesus in my life and she knew she was with the right person and she asked me to contact her lawyer but in order for him to release the money I had to sent five hundred sterling to England which I did, I gave him all my money and some of my daughters saving and then I thought that would be it until he put me in touch with the bank who had the money and the manager asked me for 1,950 sterling to put the money into an account for me, I never, ever douthed God in all that was asked of me as the lawyer I was dealing with was a great Godly man, his English wasn’t that good so he emailed me most of what I had to do. All the time I continued to talk to Jesus and constantly telling him I was doing this but at any time if it is not the right thing I am doing just take it away but then everything started going so well and the holy spirit never let me get anxious or ever feel I was doing the wrong thing giving away all my money, and now I had to ask my son to sign a form so I could withdraw money from his account and as my son does not like giving away anything that belongs to him I knew if he said yes this was defiantly a good sign from God. When I asked him if I could have some of his money straight away he said yes mammy you can have it I knew more than ever this is God talking.

I gave all my money away as I just believe this is how God works first you give him everything absolutely everything holding nothing back and then wait to see how God can multiply what little you have to the abundance his has planned all along for you, I have never been without anything for two long before God would supply what was needed like

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heating for my home, food, clothes I smile now thinking about my son how I wanted him to learn to swim and no way did he want to he never seemed to want to do the things other children do, I just know God has a massive plan for him and then just like everything else when the time is right it happens I was bringing my daughter to the pool one day my son was with us and I just said if you do not want to go swimming you can just wait at the edge of the pool as he did not want to do that he was crying and complaining that he had nothing to wear and I said lets go and get you new swim gear and that was fine until we got to the shop and nothing suited him and the tears started again and I said I was going swimming with his sister anyway so what did he want to do and just like that he said I will wear the swim shorts and t-shirt I had picked out, when we got to the pool he was so excited and he wanted his sister to show him what she had learned when she went to lessons last year we spent over two hours in the pool and he did not want to leave and then he said mammy I do want to go to lessons and as we were leaving I had lessons booked for the following Saturday and I was so delighted for my son and his sister was delighted to have her brother go swimming with her and as always Jesus gets all the praise because without him I can do nothing it’s all about waiting on him and then he will make straight your paths, and when I told their dad about the swimming he agreed to pay for it.

As my son’s communion day is getting nearer I still choose not to go as I knew it was all so wrong I explained to Stephen in the only way I knew how too and that was to be totally honest with him so I said that when you are in a religion like the people who go to mass they do not know Jesus in their heart they just know about Him and everyone feels because they are doing all the religious things that is how you go to heaven and then Stephen said mammy how do you know you are right, so I just said because I know Jesus as you know He always walks with me because I had told my children everything about Jesus been in my life Stephen likes to listen to me talking about how I knew Jesus but he also was listening to his father and grandparents tell him that he was going to get loads of money and a new suit and everybody had to make their communion, so their granny brought both my children shopping there was no expense spared yet they never spoke about Jesus it was all about what had to be done for this communion day, so the closer it got to the day the more Stephen did not want to talk about knowing Jesus in your heart and that was because he knew in his heart that it wasn’t Jesus way, all this time I prayed and talked to Jesus for His strength and patience to always follow His way not the worlds way, my sisters were not pleased about me not going to Stephens communion and two of them felt I needed to be told that I had to put my child first and why was I doing this to Stephen so I explained that it is not right and no matter what they said I was not going to change my mind as I was standing with Jesus, to everybody who knew me I was totally on my own but I was never, ever alone, the day before the communion his grandmother called me on my phone to ask me if I would like to see the children’s clothes that they would be wearing so I called to her house, and just like absolutely everything I do I talk to Jesus and I asked Him to guard my mouth as I did not

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want to say anything to her that might offend her so I just kept saying Jesus help me, Jesus help me, I went to the door and l was delighted I was so relaxed, I was brought into the sitting room where everything was laid out, it was all lovely we just talked about the clothes then she asked me to come to the communion party after the service so I could have my photo taken with Stephen, and I just said Jesus did not die for everyone to know Him through a religion and that there is only one way to heaven and that is through His son Jesus Christ she said that is right but its Stephens communion tomorrow and it is going to take more than one person to change the church and you can’t do that, and then she said get out, go on get out, you’re not going to change your mind and she walked to the door and opened it she said something about me thinking that I was right, I did not say one word I just left got into my car and when I was driving up the road I just kept saying thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus I m waiting on you, you know how she always wants her way but no way do I want do to the things she does, I am standing with you Jesus and I pray that one day everyone will know the real Jesus Christ. That night putting my children to bed we got on our knees and thanked God for everything he has giving us and most of all for showing us who He is, Stephen knew Jesus differently to the rest of his class, his dad wanted him to be like everybody else when I wanted Stephen to fulfill the plan that Jesus had for him, the next morning both children went to their granny’s to get dressed and I sat down in my sitting room just like always and I just knew Jesus was sitting there in the chair beside me and I said Jesus it’s just you and me today and I was content in knowing that I had chosen to do the right thing, and to stand firm in what I believed to be the truth, that day I read my bible, I listened to great speakers preach about Jesus Christ on my television and I listened to music. Jesus gave me peace and not for one moment did I feel guilt in what I had done, when my children came home at 7.30pm we talked about the day I was so delighted to have them home, when they went to bed we got on our knees to thank Jesus for our day and we prayed that everybody would soon come to know Jesus the way we did, the communion day wasn’t really mentioned much after that in my house I always thank God for giving me His peace.A couple of weeks later the children had their photos taking at school so I asked their dad if he wanted a photo and could he ask his parents if they would like one, both of them said they would like one I got the two photos framed and went to their granny’s with one she was a bit surprised to see me she couldn’t come to the door so she talked down from the upstairs window, I told her I had the photo and I would leave it at the door then I left. I hold absolutely nothing against another person no matter how they treat me it just doesn’t matter just think of the way Jesus was treated and His death what he injured for all of us He came to save us and yes it grieves me how religion has taking over and people just do not know what Jesus did for them, I pray to Jesus for enabling me to Spread His Word. Thank you Jesus thank you AmenI just know that I know that the time is coming when ever knee shall bow to the name Jesus Christ and that day is soon, sooner than we thing .I just believe that Jesus Christ is getting all His servants ready for that day I pray

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Psalm 139:23-24Search me O God and know my heart, Try me and know my thoughts, and see if there is any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.Proverbs 30:8Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me.

I have giving all my money away to this lady who by the way she wrote I knew she knew God and what He did by sending His son to the cross and all on a promise she told me her husband had died he worked in the oil business for years and had done a lot of missions work and she wanted to help the under privileged children in poor countries, she had got cancer and she was dying so she wanted to give her money to someone who would to good work with it so she was going to send me all the money she had earned over the years as she did not want it to go to her family who did not know Jesus she had prayed and fasted asking God what she should do as she wanted the Gospel preacher to all people, when I think now how easy it was for me to believe her she quoted the bible and she knew all the scripture so I gave her money to enable the bank to send her money on to me, as I write this I was so gullible so I did what she asked and I got nothing in return, when she asked me how was I so sure I would be going to heaven when I died, I was not expecting a question like that from her I told her if you read your bible and believe and trust in Our Lord you will be with Him in paradise.So with all my money gone, my children’s savings, my savings and a friend gave me money also and then I got a email to say scam, scam, hahahah I had no other choice but to trust God completely for my day to day living and that is how Jesus taught me to trust Him for everything and it was a amazing journey and I felt so privileged to be taught by Our Lord He said He would never leave me or forsake me He kept His hand on me at all times and yes there were so many times and I would cry out to Him because I did not know how I was going to manage I did not understand His grace back then as all He would say was “My Grace is sufficient for you” and He said that all the time to me and then one day I was listening to a preacher teaching on the bible and he was speaking about Grace and I got it His Grace is available to all, you just need to believe so now I listen to preachers all the time everyday as that is the way for me to understand, reading the bible really isn’t much use you need someone to explain it, its the truth of Our Lord Jesus Christ and then you will be in awe of Him completely for what He has done and who He is. I have no regret for what I did I would do it all again because Jesus taught me how to trust Him and really if I had money I would not have understood it’s when you have nothing and yet you manage only by trusting in Him then and only then do you get to know the real Jesus’ it was the most important lesson for me and this is one year later and I still trust and know that He will supply my every need so their fore I will not worry because He has it all covered with His blood. Amen.

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Even though it’s been so long I still trust Jesus to finish this His way, no way would He have allowed me to send all my money with getting nothing in return so now I wait with complete trust, patience and most importantly contentment in my heart that He will make a way where there is no way.

My walk and my balance still had not improved over the years its fourteen years since Jesus called me so I needed to do something about that so I went to exercises classes four times a week I need to tell you the pain was so bad I cried in some of the classes nobody saw me because I was sweating and my face was bright red, yet I knew I was where I needed to be so after one year my walk has improved so much I run up the stairs now which was something I could not do, my balance still needs work that also has improved but it needs a bit more work yet like everything else that to will come.So every day I try to exercise, listen to bible study and playing music between looking after my children and doing my house work it can all be done in the peace Jesus has left each of us, do not for one moment think that I have it all together on my own its only trusting Jesus can you every be all together, on my own I can do nothing, and with Him I can do everything So now I just love walking with Jesus’ because I am who He made me to be.

So many times when I would cry out to Jesus about whatever situation I was going through I just say Jesus’, Jesus’, Jesus’, Jesus’, help me, help me to do what you want me to do and then I say thank you, thank you, thank you and then I just know and believe it will be alright because He said every time ‘My Grace is Enough for you’ so after a time of always been told this I just said one day to Him Yes I know your Grace is enough but what is your Grace I do not understand it He doesn’t really say much yet He will never leave you wondering, the very next day I was watching Bible study on my TV and it was all about the Grace of God so I watched and listened to it every day and then I got it God’s Grace is understanding what He has done at the Cross and having His presence with you everyday.And then I got it, I got it, I always had it yet I did not understand it, Jesus is all Grace and I want and have His Grace whenever I want it, which is every second of my day then I understood all the times He said to me very quietly and gently ‘My Grace is Enough for you’And now I always say gently to Jesus your Grace is enough and I laugh because it’s all about Grace His Grace so now I listen to the words of the song Amazing Grace people sing those words so many times yet I feel the properly do not understand His Grace.Grace is God’s power made available to us, free of charge, enabling us to do with ease what we could never do on our own, its God’s power to do what we need to do with ease and stop trying to do everything in our own strength-then our lives will change.O If people just understood its nothing we do, when after years of doing exercises I knew there was still something not right the more I was trying in my own strength it would never change walking still caused me pain and I wanted to be able to cycle a bicycle with my

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children, I hoped with patience and plenty of practice it would be much better but it wasn’t and then the day it changed after trying to jog around the track as calmly as always Jesus just said walk, so I did walk, home and then it rained for two weeks and I did not do anything other than sit everyday with Jesus and the beautiful peace I had and the pain in my back and the pain in my right leg just left, and I did not have to do one thing just to sit in His presence and thank Him for everything, and I just love it so much because it’s not my strength it’s all His strength His grace His love that we need to believe in All to Jesus I surrender to Him completely.I know that I know that Jesus will send His people to help me because it’s absolutely nothing I do, it’s all about what He has done and what I am allowing Him to do in my life, I just obey Him, I want to do His will in all the things I do, I do it for Him and I would not want it any other way. Our Lord Jesus Christ is the bridge between God and man, we are connected now as one that is all made possible because of Jesus when He came to live on this earth over 2000 years ago and He died on a cross all because of our sins, we are like filthy rags but he that believe in Jesus Christ will be made as white as snow, our sins He will remember no more, there is a change and that’s all because of the Cross, Jesus final words on the Cross were

‘It is finished’So why do we think we have to do anything other than believe in Him and what He had done we cannot work our way to heaven , the only way is through Jesus and what He has done on the Cross Amen Amen.Each of us needs to be brought to the cross and then we know who we are but more important is we know who we are in Christ. It all about Him.

I need to tell you about what happened to the car I was driving, for a long time it was in need of repairs and as always I had enough money to get it fixed I remember one time I got something done with the car it cost €190 I went to the bank to withdraw the cash and I had just that amount €190 in my account oh and I thanked God so much because I trust Him so much because I believe His word when He said He would never leave us or forsake us and he doesn’t not even for a minute let us out of His hand so I drove that car for almost six years and when something needed fixing I just got it done, I knew I needed to change it but I did not have money to do that and then the day came when God took that decision totally out of my hands I was driving through the village I just got this feeling I needed to turn back and I just pulled in the side and I waited for a lady to pass before I turned my car and then it was like I was in a dream everything when really slow and then I was in the middle of the road a tractor had hit my car on the driver’s side Stephen was sitting behind me Anna was in the front and absolutely everything went black I though a house has fallen on me I put my two hands on my head because of the shake I got my glasses and my hair band flew off on to the passenger’s side on the floor and just for one second I felt my head was going to burst with the pain in it and that pain I got in my chest before I felt it just for a second and then I

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opened my eyes and everything was fine Stephen jumped out of his seat he saw the tractor wheel coming straight for him he knew not to open his seat belt and after the tractor hit us he jumped up and said are you dead as I was holding my head in my hands and Anna started to cry saying mammy I said I’m fine are ye alright the engine was still running the man driving the tractor was at my door saying you drove right out in front of me and I all I could say was I never seen you, the windows were broken in the front and back glass was everywhere the door couldn’t open we were all fine the man from the tractor sat in the back while I drove home and another man followed us in his van when we got to my house we got out the passengers door and then we looked at the car I knew I would never drive that car again the car frame was bent so bad the front tyre had bursted, the rest of that day my sisters and a friend called the children had tea and biscuits Stephen was saying that was my first crash going up the stairs to bed I was thanking God so much because only for Him we were all sleeping in our own beds that night the next day we didn’t do anything only sit with Jesus’ and thank Him for His hedge of protection around us, the children stayed in their pajamas all day I was just so tired I could not even think I took two panadol and slept for one hour and then I woke up so refreshed Anna or Stephen stayed home from school the next day and that night going to bed I knew we were completely healed, I still felt a bit slow in myself that week I put that down to the shake I got when the tractor hit the car. my sisters help with shopping and bring me in the car if I need to be somewhere, a few days later I was sweeping the street where my car is usually parked and I knew God had His hand in protecting me while He got rid of my old car and now I wait for my new car that only God can supply me with because He said He will supply all my needs and I need a car so I know He will supply all my needs in His time.

Do you believe in any of what I have wrote? are you reading God’s word do you know the plans He has for all who believe in Him but His children don’t know anything because they have never been told about the real Jesus of the bible , the one who died for us, the same Jesus who rose again and who wants a relationship with all of His children.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ needs to be preached to all people, and I know, oh I know the person that is taught the least of in this world that is the one that God sees and He also sees all the religious people and what’s in their hearts.

Only the blood of Jesus Christ which He shed on the cross for us can wash away sins, each person needs to come to Him with a open heart and repent which means turn away from wrong doing, no living man on earth can give repentant for sins, yet a priest thinks that by confessing our sins to them it is enough, no way is that true

ONLY THE BLOOD OF JESUS CAN DO THAT.

When it was time for my daughters’ communion I just did not worry one bit I went to see her teacher and told her that Anna would not be making her communion that we believe in Jesus Christ that it is about having a relationship not about religion, so she said that was fine but I

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was expecting some confrontation but it never came and I knew why as I had completely surrendered the situation to Our Lord and whatever the outcome I was not going to fret as I know He always makes my path straight. Anna knew Jesus’ so differently to the rest of her class and she never wanted to make her communion as she knew the rest of her class mates did not really know the real Jesus like she did so we never worried about what people think, it all about following Jesus and I have decided to follow Him so there is no turning back now.

My friend who went to the missions came home and I was happy to see him home but I wanted him to know the whole truth of Jesus of the bible yet I know he prays to Jesus’ earthly mother I feel all of the catholic church believe more in Jesus’ mother that what Jesus had done by dying on that cross for all, there is no other way to heaven.

IT’S ALL ABOUT JESUS CHRIST CRUSIFIED, DEATH AND RESTRUSTION

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