WA State 2011 Traumatic Brain Injury Conference Growing Through Grief Coming to terms with your Role as a Caregiver Dr. Nancy Reeves.

WA State 2011Traumatic Brain Injury Conference

Growing Through GriefComing to terms with

your Role as a Caregiver

Dr. Nancy Reeves

Prevent burnout and compassion fatigue

Burnout - doing too much

Compassion Fatigue - giving too muchcompassion “feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by suffering or misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the pain or remove its cause.” Webster

Pain ResearchDr. J. Osborn and Dr. S. Derbyshire U. of BirminghamJournal of the International Association for the Study of Pain

Both groups showed increased activity in the area of the brain areas associated with emotion

Felt-pain group showed more activity in the area of the brain that processes sensations from the body

You are what you “eat”

So, don’t “eat” it

Learn to “digest” effectively

Grieving Process

Holistic, impacting emotions, mind, body, spirit

2 styles of grieving from Ken DokaInstrumental style - doesn’t need to talk much, does something productive and thinks about change and lossIntuitive style - helped by talking, showing emotion

Name and grieve the losses

We grieve for meanings and implications of our change such as:intrapersonal - way of viewing self

interpersonal - relationships with othersfinancialchange in rolestatus changechange in dreams and expectationsimpact on time

Healing vs Cure

Cure - brain injury totally gone. Life the same as it wasHealing - the focus is not completely on the brain injury

life feels worth living you are able to access support

you use inner resources you like yourself

Love ResearchDopamine creates intense energy, exhilaration, focused attention, and motivation to win rewards.Dr. Helen FisherLong term romantic love promotes overall well-being, increased self-esteem, happiness, and satisfaction with the relationship. Drs. Acevedo & Aron, 2009 and othersLowers blood-pressure, promotes calmness, strengthens cognitive functioning. Dr. Scott Haltzman

Gratitude researchThose who kept gratitude journals tended to exercise more regularly, focused less on physical symptoms, and felt more optimistic about the futureMore likely to progress towards goalsLess interest in materialismYoung adults had higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, and attentivenessChildren have more positive attitudes towards school and family.

reported by Drs. Emmons & McCullough

Expensive Emotions

• Anger – bitterness resentment hate vengeance• Guilt – healthy to unhealthy• Longing for healing – envy/jealousy• Sadness – depression/despair

Energy Management Model

QuickTime™ and aTIFF (LZW) decompressor

are needed to see this picture.

What qualities/gifts are within me that are not being used enough or at all?What personal dreams have not come to fruition?What expensive emotions are weighing me down?What attracts or interests me?What part of my life is particularly arid right now?

Develop Holistic Self-Care Strategies

EmotionalPhysicalMentalSpiritualDaily, periodic, times of great stress

Setting Limits

Self-talkRehearseThought-stopping techniqueGentle refusal1. Paraphrase2. Say ‘no’3. Give invitation

Other Self-Care Strategies

Symbols - for comfort, support, guidance, strength etc

Journalling - to clarify, to remember, to support