Volume 10, Issue 3

Friday, April 1, 2011

ramdiculous.com

Vol. 10 No. 3

War termed “silly” by board of regents

Pg. 5 Baseball stuff

KAISER WILHELM INVADES TEXAN HALL, PRES. RALLO DECLARES WAR ON PRUSSIA

UCPC declares state of

emergency, cancels a few

shows

Pictured: Kaiser Wilhelm II, career scoundrel (dramatization)

Heard This? By Thomas Nast

There once was

a man from

New Zealand.

Violets are blue.

A redhead and a

blonde walk

into a bar.

And also an

elephant, too.

Poetry Time.

Write or draw for us! Contact us at:

[email protected] (P.S. For every article you write that gets published,

you get a $5 gift card. Who says no to money?)

Who’s This?

Send us your answer!

Facebook.com/ramdiculous

Last answer: Dr. Fronk-en-steen (Someone got it right)

Picture of the Week: W.H. Taft!

Goo-goo ga-joob.

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Ram of the Week: Héctor Romo Meet Héctor. He says he’s a REALLY busy biology

kid that is involved in several different organizations and committees on-campus. Yep.

He also says he takes some time off every once in a while. He claims that he saves the world every day while wearing a suit. So he’s kinda like James Bond.

Although James Bond also wore tuxedoes. Except we like to assume that Héctor does too, because that’s totally kick-ass. No one messes with a tuxedoed guy, no sir.

He also plans on flying to Libya and overthrowing Gaddafi here in a few days. Go get ‘em, champ! And take a tuxedo just in case.

Word of the Day: plebeian (adj.): Of or pertaining to the com-

mon people; vulgar; common.

(From Wiktionary)

Pictured: Super-spy who could kill you

Friday, April 1, 2011 Page 3

I hate homework!

Every college newspaper comic EVER

Page 4 Friday, April 1, 2011

Vol. 10, Issue 3 ASU’s Finest Paper Since Fall 2006 (Something to read in class today)

P U B L I S H I N G P O L I C Y Published every other Friday and available to students on campus. This newspaper does not express the opinions of any writer, editor, or anyone affiliated with Angelo State University or the Texas Tech University System or this newspaper. We welcome all letters, tweets, and other such nonsense. Please include your name, position, and an email address. All submissions are considered property of the Ramdiculous Page and will not be returned, EVER. Submit your letters, articles, and/or favorite prank via our email, [email protected], or our website, www.ramdiculous.com. Opinions in any letter or writing are not necessarily those of the staff, nor should any opinion expressed in a public forum be construed as the opinion or policy of the administration or the Ramdiculous Page. By submitting anything to the Ramdiculous Page, you are giving the Ramdiculous Page permission to use your Facebook and/or MySpace profile in any way the Ramdiculous Page deems usable, unless expressed in writing. If you are an professor you need not worry, we will not use your profiles. Also, happy April Fool’s. 

Top Editor: Bryce J. Parsons Artists and Writers: The Ramdiculous Goons And after all: You’re my wonderwall Editor: [email protected] Everything else: [email protected] Contact campus police if you see illegal crimes

Ramdiculous Page Staff

Facebook Survey In the song “Yankee Doodle,” is the title character calling the horse, the feather, or the hat “macaroni”?

Top Editor: Why is the opinion page in the back?

By Bryce J. Parsons Top Editor

The other day, as I sat

eating a bowl of soggy corn flakes with peaches, I won-dered to myself, Why does the newspaper on campus put its opinion page in the next-to-almost-last page?

It makes very little sense to me as an editor. I mean, no

one is interested in what I have to say, so I would think that forcing my opinions on others would necessitate being on a page that’s closer to the begin-ning of the paper. But no, we save that stuff for news and whatnot.

This is an outrage. I demand to know who started this tradi-tion, so I can wallop them over the head with a piece of rebar. If the need be, I can time travel too.

Well, not really. But would-n’t that be cool? The time travel, I mean. Not the rebar attack. I’m a reasonably nice fellow.

In fact, I probably wouldn’t even use time travel to attack anyone. I’d probably go back in time to 1993 and pick up a case

of Crystal Pepsi. I’m not kid-ding: every time I hear the song “Right Now” by Van Halen, I desperately want to consume an entire six-pack of that wondrous substance.

But, alas, it’s a pipe dream here in 2011. As far as I know, PepsiCo refuses to re-release Crystal Pepsi. Oh yes, Pepsi Throwback and Mountain Dew Throwback are accept-able; but not see-through, de-caffeinated Pepsi.

What is this world coming to? I’m not sure I like it.

Also, I miss Vanilla Coke, but that’s actually rational.

Bryce J. Parsons is the Ram-diculous Page’s top editor. In his free time, he yo-yos for fun. Also, he is one himself.

“Feather.” Eric C. Fierro, Jr., Someone on FB

“The entire situation is clearly macaroni.” JenNiE AnN CaNOn, Someone else

“Then who was phone?” Joey Burney, I have no idea

We are your voice, the voice of the Students of Angelo State.  Be heard, we would like to know what you love about ASU, what you hate about ASU and what you think needs to be changed around here.  We are here for 

YOU!  

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Top Ten Prankings

10.) Andy Kaufman faking his

death in 1984

9.) Elvis Presley faking his death

in 1977

8.) Anything done by Improv

Everywhere in NYC

7.) John Quinones and “What

Would You Do?”

6.) Artificial sweeteners

5.) Candid Camera

4.) Whoopee cushions

3.) MTV not showing any music

videos. Or something.

2.) This entire issue

1.) Justin Bieber

Yo-yos are still relevant, dammit

So you want to learn how to yo-yo?

No? Okay, I don’t know why I asked. Really, that shouldn’t come as any kind of surprise to me, but whatever.

Any-way, yo-y o i n g d a t e s back to ancient times, when Filipino hunters flung rocks attached to strings at small animals in order to get food for a meal. Then, in the 1920’s a guy thought it’d be fun to sell these little things to Americans. After being

bought out by a guy named Duncan.

This is mostly true, by the way. Anyway, WORLD

WAR II broke out, and that ended yo-yoing until the Sixties (due to en-forced string ra-

tioning). Then hippies took over and yo-yoing lost support. It didn’t

become popular again un-til the late Nineties.

And now? No one really pays attention to yo-yoing besides us folks at Ramdiculous.

So the question re-mains: why would anyone want to talk about yo-yos?

B e c a u s e t h e y ’ r e DAMN fun. Seriously, go out and buy one and see what I mean. Even the other newspaper thinks they’re cool. Wow! :-D

George Harriman is the Ramdiculous Page’s yo-yo critic. He rules at his job.

Laconic Trope of the Day

Affectionate Parody

TV Tropes will ruin your life. Read them at tvtropes.org.

“Parody by the loving

fans.”

By George Harriman

By Windsor X. McCay SAN ANGELO, TX—So are

you folks ready for some BASEBALL?

Answer: of course not. This is West Texas. No one watches baseball. Everyone likes foot-ball.

“What the [expletive] is an inning, anyway?” said freshman Jock Itsch. “There aren’t any tackles or nuthin’.”

Indeed, the lack of intense physical contact is what is in-spiring managers to change the rules. Starting next week, ball-players will be allowed to take their bats with them while run-ning the bases.

“Should be a knockout,” said Itsch, laughing maniacally.

Baseball gets no love nowadays

Friday, April 1, 2011 Page 5

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For Ramdiculous 2011-2012! For more info, write us c/o Facebook.com/ramdiculous, or [email protected]. Be a patriot and join us.