Vol 3 Issue 2

©

ISSUE #2, VOL. #3 JANUARY 07, ***FREE

*SURFING SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA! TRAVEL ISSUE*CANADA

*CALIFORNIA RESORT GUIDE

*MT BACHELOR

mother terry

revolution

246 N. WENATCHEE AVE. WENATCHEE, WA 98801(509) 665-6662

WWW.REVOLUTIONSNOWANDSKATE.COM

Snow Skate

1.

4.

3.

2.

5.

““I really don’t want you guys to rip me off on

this.” Brian Beauchene on his idea of snoskating barefooted

“I hope you never stop making it.” Sean Davis on STARFiSH

“There is that time honored tradition of going out on the road but, I was not on the highway, I was on

the streets.” Mark Bittner on keeping parrots in San Francisco

“It doesn’t hurt if you’re drunk.” Wes on snoskating

“Now I get credit for the ads and I don’t even make them” Famous poser, Terry Parker, on Revolution

ads

“Jordan would have got a D on that from his English teacher.” Hurlbut on Jordan’s article

“You can even ask the Mervin guys, I’m the fluffer” John Knox on his New Hampshire trip

“Actually no, that is not true, Pos was the fluffer.” Spicoli on Knox’s delusions of granduer

“Dude, is that guy drunk?” Some eight year old kid on Spicoli’s behavior at the Ballard skate park

“You will recognize him right away, he is like six feet tall, that’s pretty tall for a Jap.” Brian Beauchene

on STARFiSH’s new International projects coordinator Tomoki

“Apparently three drunk proof readers is not enough” Leavitt on STARFiSH’s continuing typo

problem

QUOTES

JAKE!!! PHOTO BY LENNOX

NIK JONAS!!! PHOTO BY LENNIX

1. 3.

4.

2.

Fire photo by Tennessee

Jake at Snow Summit California by Pat Lennox

5.

8.7.

6.

CANADA!Lake Louise, Alberta

Lift access: Yes

Park: Terrain park ranging from beginner to expert.

Snowskate.ca Resort ReviewBy: Jordan Armstrong

General: Lake Louise is a great resort for snowskating. You can cruise

mellow runs and hit the park on the front side then take the gondola up and do it

again or you have the option of going to the backside and riding some more steep

challenging terrain if that is what you desire. The snowboard park has obstacles

for every skill level and tables varying in size. Most of the rails and boxes are

snowskate friendly so whatever you wish to ride, you will be satisfied. The temperature

range for a single day is amazing, it can be completely frozen at the beginning of the day and you can be riding soft, slushy

snow by the end of the day. Soft snow isn’t always that spectacular of a thing due to people not making the trannys on tables or those goofy skiers falling and making

bomb holes in the transitions (replace your divots!). Lake Louise has almost everything

you would ever want (unless you want to ride a crappy mountain, steeps, rails,

tables; the things dreams are made of at one mountain.

Web site: www.skilouise.com

SCOTT PENNER, NOBOARDING NEAR LAKE LOUISE

CANADA!Nakiska

Lift access: Yes

Park: Expert and beginner terrain parks.

General: No matter where you go on Nakiska you can find cat tracks or mellow runs that

are perfect for riding on a snowskate. The snow conditions are hard sometimes but it’s bearable and it means your landings are consistent and not like

landing in cottage cheese. The beginner park or “rail park” at Nakiska might as well be called a snowskate

JORDAN ARMSTRONG, PHOTO BY COLIN SPROULE

park; all tables are usually perfect sized, there’s an amazing hip at the bottom that will make you squeal like a little girl at first glance. The park is in an excellent location at Nakiska, the run to and

from the park is a great run to bomb and when you are done in the park you can go the bottom and repeat or take the gold chair up to the top

for a really long flowing run from top to bottom. From the top you can either do some diamond runs or take the cat track down and ollie over

stumps or whatever else floats your boat.

Web site: www.skinakiska.com

+For a complete list of North American resorts that allow snoskating please visit SNowSkATE.cA.

RABBIT SEASON

The photo above was taken at the STARFiSH movie premier moments before a mob of angry

STARFiSH fans decided it was rabbit season and beat the shit out of this bunny.

The STARFiSH fans were enraged by the rabbit. They accused him of poaching on STARFiSH property and also of dancing in front of the movie projector thus

blocking the screen.Moments after the photo was taken Chris Beck (left choking the rabbit) kicked the rabbit square in the nuts. Film maker Mike Maniglio (Far right with hat and beard) wasted no time jumping into the

action and with a thick New York accent he advised the rabbit to “Stay the fuck down!” This advice

was then followed by repeated kicks to the rabbit’s head.

Finally STARFiSH’s Advertising Director, Hilary, (center with bottle) finished off the rabbit by

breaking her bottle over the rabbit’s head and warning the incoherent rabbit to stop poaching on

STARFiSH property.

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA SURF GUIDE!!!

BY SEAMUS MACMANNAHAN As the esteemed Starfish Southern california correspondent, I have found it necessary to educate our Northwest readers on the tourist activities, surfing spots and outlooks here in the sunny, southwest corner of our beloved coast. I have taken it upon myself to bring our readers a travel guide to surfing here in Southern california. This guide should further educate, infuriate, and increase the beef between our Northwest and Southwest readers. It’s true, we think you guys are kooks. You waste your time living bundled up in the mountains, only to drive 4 hours for, cold, windy, crappy surf. Let me also state that you, our Northwest readers of Starfish Magazine, are NoT welcome in the lineup down here. It’s far too crowded already.

In an attempt to both increase the hate and alleviate this problem simultaneously, I have written this travel guide to suggest that if you choose to come this way looking for waves, you take a trip just south of the San Diego border to the Baja california Peninsula instead.

This tutorial will allow you to properly navigate yourself right the fuck out of our beloved city, across the border, thru the great city of Tijuana and into Baja california. In Baja you will find an abundance of fantastic waves to “fall”, “pearl” and generally “kook out” on. we San Diegans won’t have to deal with you and everyone will be happy.

1. First things first, if you are in fact driving, many will suggest that you must have Mexican auto insurance. This is a common misconception. It is not required, nor do Mexicans even really acknowledge it. You will find, upon entering the gates to this fine country, that the Mexicans are gracious beyond your expectations. Traffic accidents are quite rare, automobile standards are incredibly high in Mexico and there are also low stricktly enforced speed limits. Upon the quite unlikely occurrence of an accident, Mexicans are notoriously apologetic, reputed for taking the blame and writing a check for any damages on the spot. In the unlikely case that medical assistance is needed, Mexico also offers the most comprehensive, modern health care services in the world.

2. Second, I suggest picking up all of your supplies after you cross the border into Mexico. It will be cheaper because supplies can be easily accessed on your way thru the very navigable and driver friendly city of Tijuana. They have a new costco in Tijuana, I could tell you how to get there, but you will easily find it on your own. Ask any Mexican for directions, they love Americans and will do just about anything to help. To facilitate assistance, allow your Mexican acquaintances to view the amount of money you will be spending on supplies. This will allow him to direct you to the proper grocery store. He may not understand English but he will understand if

you show him a few hundred dollar bills. To Mexicans this is a clear signal that you are looking for camping supplies, water and a good Baja map.

3. Next, you will need to know where to go. Feel free to check any spot along the way, a complete surf report is usually available from any passersby. In addition to providing comprehensive, friendly surf and tourist reports to visitors, the police in Baja california provide a vast array of other services to their gracious neighbors from the north. Feel free to ask them for directions to any point needed, they will gladly adhere. Police in Mexico have been relying more and more on US and canadian tourists to assist them with what they have called Mexico’s “defensive driving” problem. Mexicans, armed with their inscrutable adherence to traffic safety, have become slower and slower drivers over the years. Feel free to assist the police on the freeways by picking up the pace, passing others on the freeway at an advanced speed in an effort to raise the general speed on the roads. This act will be greatly appreciated by a peacekeeping force that has long been regarded as the most “honest, sincere, and friendly peace keeping institution in the western world,” (Newsweek 11/05).

4. At this time I would like to suggest a few spots regarded as a “don’t miss” along the way. First is the bull ring in Tijuana. often regarded as Mexico’s “number uno family outing” the bullfights of Tijuana are open to the public and are “a great source of true Mexican culture for the whole family,”(Good Housekeeping 2/06). Be aware

DAN, BAJA CALIFORNIA

however, Mexicans rarely drink alcohol and are not used to the loud and rowdy behavior of many young Americans. come with your manners and an appetite for adventure.

Another “don’t miss” would have to be roadside taco stands and their abundance of fresh water and vegetables. Feel free to sample any of Baja’s roadside taco stands. These stands are famous for Tijuana’s crystal clear geyser spring water and their adherence to the safest, freshest meat and produce standards in the western Hemisphere. Enjoying a taco and a large glass of ice water as soon as you step foot in Mexico will ensure a fabulous afternoon of surfing, dining, exploring and healthy consumption for your entire trip.

5. At this point you are ready to surf. This reporter recommends finding your own beach break or point, setting up camp, and sharing the fun with all of your friends. Remember, a wet-suit is not needed. Mexico’s water is generally warmer than that of Hawaii or Indonesia. A pair of board shorts and sandals is all that one needs to be happy on a camping trip to the great Baja Peninsula. Respect for the locals is not needed, as they are generally here to serve you, their guests. They will also pick up after you. Littering is encouraged in Mexico and is considered good manners to toss your garbage in plain view of our Mexican hosts. They will gladly pick up after you. Have fun and don’t forget to pass on this information, as there is enough surf in Baja for all of us.

PLUTO SPORTSWWW.PLUTOSPORTS.COM

KNOXVILLE 865-523-0045 AND GATLINBURG 865-436-9990

WWW.PLUTOSPORTS.COMTENNESSEE

SEND 10$ DONATION TO: STARFISHP.O. BOX 2456

NORTH BEND, WA. 98045

T-SHIRTS NOW AVAILABLE!

HURLBUT “THE BRONZE” TORINO 06

PHOTO BY BIG JOHN

PHOTO BY PLWP

BACHELOR A GO-GO!BACHELOR’S A GO!

LAST spring Starfish assigned me to a recon mission. My goal was simple, provide

some filler for the “Travel Issue”. With limited ski areas actually still open, options were about as scarce as the greenbacks in my pocket. Starfish’s travel budget had been spent on a keg-a-rator therefore going to South America for their winter was going to have to wait until next season when we make it big and sell out. I contacted several resorts and requested free “press” lift tickets, the replies I got were comical. I was getting ready to throw in the towel when some good friends in Bend, ore. told me they had comp tickets for Bachelor. The next day I was on the road.

Bachelor was a party-haven for early snowboarders. The resort used to stay open until the fourth of July every year and every year a huge party would go on in their bars and later in their parking lots. Good times were had by all. Then, Bachelor was bought out by some big faceless mega ski corporation and started to close early in order to assure that they didn’t lose a single dollar out of the millions they made. How unpatriotic! with this in mind, I was sceptical I could get past the lifties and get any runs. My fears grew as I saw the looks on everyone’s faces as I carried my skate confidently up to the lift line. I might have well been car-

rying an alien baby, it was obvious that nobody had seen a real snoskate before.

The main lift at Bachelor is a high-speed detachable quad. I knew from experience battling lifties that high speed quads slow down enough to allow foot traffic. I thought, I have a ticket I should be allowed on the lift, right? Then I saw the Uber Lifty and my hopes dwindled. This guy was a classic example of an over-achieving, lifty goon. You know the one. Flying a proud mullet, tight pants tucked into his boots, oakley Blades and dying to check every single pass hoping to collect a $25 reward for busting some kid riding on a fake pass. I pushed right up and tried to play coy, just like another strapped in mongoloid. I made it to the chair and picked up my skate. The Uber Lifty immediately sensed a problem and slammed the stop but-ton nearly derailing the chair and forcing all of the paying customers both in line and on the lift to wait. Uber Lifty proceeded to give me the verbal assault he had been saving up all day as he kissed ass. I was being removed from the lift line when I realized that arguing with this guy would get me no where. I made a risky move and convinced Uber Lifty to call the ski patrol. Lucky for me the patrollers he contacted where not Uber Liftie’s counterpart, they were

RESORT REVIEW BY BIG JOHN

DONNY GREEN! BAD ASS!

Dustin G. BowlesProduct DevelopmentPromotion Coordinator

dustin

cut along the dotted line

normal dudes!

“Gotta leash?”“check.”

“Got metal edges?”“check.”

“Yer good to go.”

I walked proudly to the front of the line and thanked Uber Lifty for calling the ski patrol, and assured him a promotion must be on the way.

As I rode up the lift I remembered what Bachelor is known for....flatness! Every run in every direction (and there were tons of them) was exactly the same pitch, about 32-35 degree slopes. This is the ideal slope for snoskating and I was fired up. My first run was sick, I cruised some rollers off the top. shralp some moguls and cruised some more through the woods. Then I cruised some more right into the park for some perfect tables!!! Sick. I could have gone home right then and the trip would have been a success, but I wanted the summit.

when I got to the bottom I was greeted by a Mountain man-ager and her ski patrol henchmen, they were looking for blood. They wanted me out! But I wanted back in and I wanted it bad!!! The battle see-sawed back and forth; they would come up with some reason why I should not be on the hill and I would retort with ski lift access facts Starfish had trained me to use. Just when things looked their worst I played my last card.“Have I mentioned that I am here with STARFISH MAGAZINE and Lib Tech Snowboard’s product development team to write an article and do some product testing?”I flashed my Starfish business card but she did not care. I had already said the magic words, “Lib Tech Product Develop-ment.” From that point on I was golden, no questions asked. Sweet!!! I went straight to the summit chair for the first ever snoskate descent of Mt. Bachelor. This run ended up being the best run of my life, 3,300 feet. of glacial slush perfection. The over all flatness of Mt. Bachelor makes it one of the world’s best destination snoskate resorts. In an effort to allevi-ate some of the headaches I withstood while at Mt. Bachelor, Starfish is providing Free Lib Tech business cards to all of our readers. Just cut out the card along the dotted line and present it to any self appointed law enforcer you encounter. This will assure your Mt. Bachelor vacation is headache and hassle free.

2600 West Commodore WaySeattle, Wa. 98199

(206) 270-9792 ext. 50(206) 270-9783 fax

[email protected]

SKINDOG

BOB SLASHES!!!

PHOTO COURTESY OF STRAPLESS ENTERTAINMENT

JAKE!!! PHOTOS BY PLWP

What it is? Sean D. here with the 2006 travel guide for California. I’ve done

some research and finally have some inside info for all the strap free peeps. I will say that Cali is argu-ably the best all around state to shred. From great snow, beautiful women, bomb buddha, to Richter nightlife and home to the Sharkeys. So lets talk about where to be... Reno/Lake Tahoe airport is pretty much the money place to fly to so keep that in mind as we go through the differ-ent spots. A three hour drive south from Tahoe gets you to our first spot, June MountaIn, located in the eastern Sierras. June is the sister mountain to the infamous MaMMoth. June is only 14 miles away, alot cheaper and a lot less crowded. June is not the largest spot, but this place kills it. A few steep runs, great powder and a world class half pipe. D.K. and the Grenade boys make sure the park staff is on top of it with mad park features for all different skill levels. You can find jumps, boxes of all types, junk yard jibs and natural features all over. Except for a boardercross and maybe a few more high speed lifts June has it all. June also hosts the 4-20 games every year. The snoskater scene is better than most, there is a good crew and they are always down to session. You can find them at Wave Rave snow shop, Holla. Oh yeah and for the boozers, go to the Tiger Bar after riding for great burgers, small town style. But save room for MaMMoth’s new village, with a grip of bars and restaurants, and every Wednesday is the big local party at Whiskey Creek. Depending on snowfall the new J. L.A. skatepark is well worth ripping on a skate or snoskate, made by Grindline, this park is the dopeness. So overall a definite must visit on the California tour. Next up we are heading south to Bear MountaIn and snow suMMIt. A two hour drive

from LAX or about 5 hours from MaMMoth’s bar. Bear MountaIn is like Woodward to a Snoskater. There are so many features, it seems like almost every run on the mountain has jibs, rainbows, kinked boxes, jumps, snake runs, half pipes, junk yard jibs and the “Scene”, which is 10+ hike-able features right in front of the decks and bars. The park staff kills it, they have fast lifts, tons of terrain, and the “Wide Open” event in Feb-ruary. This place rules. Don’t expect too much pow, but the sun will be shining, (watch out for the late afternoon slush fest. ) Now did I mention snow suMMIt? Five minutes around the corner, this resort is also fun. Park features are more steep shred runs and less crowds, so you have a couple great options when you visit Bear. Unfortunatly it seems like there is only one main dive bar, I haven’t found a skate park, but I hear there might be some big crew of back yard rippers that don’t come out to the re-sorts , who knows? Alright, lets go to Tahoe , O’snap, freakin’ paradise, casinos, cheap booze, hot biatches, Oh yeah and mad Snoskate friendly resorts. O.K. now it is really tough to have a #1 Tahoe spot but I’m going to start with sIerra at tahoe. This place rules. Tons O. fun , big mountain , multiple parks with sic features, cool park kids, and they host one of the Shut Up and Snoskate stops in January. This place is a little pricey and the weekends are swamped with valleys, sIerra is only a half hour from the state line. Oh yeah, you know why Pat Bonzer, Danny and the rest of the Ralston crew can rail the downhill? Because it helps if your home mountain holds down the best boardercross in the state. Mad props to sIerra at tahoe. GO THERE. Next we’ll cruise to the other side of the lake, the North Shore and check out a resort called Boreal. Boreal is a 45 minute drive from the

CALIFORNIA!OH SNAP!

RESORT GUIDE

Reno/Tahoe airport or 4.5 hour drive from the cold barrels of Santa Cruz. Boreal is the biggest little resort in the world. This hill packs in so many dope jib features on the smallest slope it’s unreal. Cheap tickets, chill vibe, and an indoor skate park at the resort make this place well worth checking out. A little closer to the lake is a spot called alpIne Meadows. It is located a half-hour from Boreal and only ten minutes from the famous squaw Valley. alpIne was one of the last resorts to accept money from snowboard customers but miraculously they allow snoskaters on their hill. This place is huge, they get tons of pow and they put together a semi decent park. So, for fast riding, hand drag-ging, face shot craving shredders, this is your spot. Definitely pricey but poachable and great spot to

CALIFORNIA! BY SEAN DAVIS

It seems like there is only

one main dive bar, I haven’t found a skate park, but...

“Oh yeah, guess what? A gondola

from the casinos!”

CALIFORNIA! continued!

SPICOLI!

catch some turns. The last three spots we have talked about all have lodges with bars but are a little way from the main action. Don’t forget heaVenly. Now we’re talking huge resort. Really, really big, mad parks all over ranging all skill levels. Snoskaters can go everywhere, all lifts and a night park. Oh yeah, guess what? A gondola from the casinos! Super expensive but quite

the ultimate set up. Only 30 minutes from the airport; fly in gear up and shred. Then get ready for a night out on the strip. Well, I think that’s enough for now. Over all we’re all doing a good job to keep resorts looking at us positively and more and more places are allowing snoskaters on their hill. So keep up the good work and don’t forget to recycle.......your bindings.................SHAKA..........

BLAIR!!! PHOTO BY LENNOX

5.

4.3.2.

1.

BACKGROUND PHOTO BY DEIGH BATES

8. 9.10.

7.

6.

LONG BOARDING IN SWITZERLAND

CONCERT REVIEW!!!SCOTT H. BIRAM

BALLARD, WA.

Scott H. Biram (pronounced by growling buy-rum), the dirtiest of all dirty one man bands, reared his ugly head in Ballard, wA. on Sept. 1. when people

ask me how the show was, the first words that come to mind are Jesus christ. This could, at least partially, ex-plain why I woke up by the river in the mountains outside of town wearing a new shirt that read “Jesus Loves Scott Biram”. I prepared for the show by drinking about a pint of warm sake. Then I arrived at the show to find out I was three hours early. weak. I was so excited I could barely stand it and now I was challenged to maintain my buzz and consciousness.

Buzz intact my confidence level was rising and I decided to use my new status of magazine employee to ask some questions. I approached Scott’s road manager/girlfriend

and introduced myself by making some joke about whiskey. She informed me that “they didn’t really do that any more.” For some reason that made me nervous and I began just mumbling. The mumbling compounded by my slurring and the loud music in the background pretty much shot to shit any theory I had about doing a recorded interview.

Scott took the stage and growled at the audience, “ya all ready to get started?” The crowd was estatic. Scott replied, “my dick’s gotta take a piss”, and walked off stage. He came back about three minutes later and started playing. I remember thinking “Jesus christ.” Scott had more talent in one arm than most four man bands. If he had other people playing with him it would just hold him back. The music was loud and raw. Biram’s sound is awesome, the fact that he makes all of that noise by himself is really something that needs to be witnessed to be understood. Scott writes the kind of lyrics that make you second guess yourself, did I just hear that? classic country lyrics like “I’m going to the cock fights, I’m gonna stay all night, lay your money down son, put it on the right one.” Followed by classic truck driving lyrics such as “Give a nod to the pigs as they drive by, take another hit cuz I get so high, take another sip cuz I get so dry” These songs give insight to the fact that Biram

is the real deal and not some wanna-be, make-up wearing dude from NYc trying to claim country.

Biram plays the opening song in the STARFISH “SUB-STANDARD SNoSkATE coMMERcIAL”. check it out. Buy his albums and if he plays a show in any state near your house, grab a six pack, hit the highway and go there.

BY JA

CK HI

TCHC

OCK

JASON BLANK, DENVER

Pow Gloves has hired Monty “Hollywood”

Hayes to help maintain their image. Hollywood is smart and Pow is now the first snoskate savvy glove company. will they release the Jake pro model? Stay tuned for more.

The Northwest contest Series is being rein-

troduced after a decade hiatus. The historical con-test series that launched the careers of John Bowen, Jamie Lynne and Peter Line will be brought back this season. Events will be held throughout the Northwest. All events will feature a snoskating event. Event judging and format has not been an-nounced.

white wash Snoskate Magazine has

been driven out of business by STARFiSH. After the hostile take over whitewash employ-ees, Jordan Armstrong and colin Sproule agreed to join the STARFiSH Army. Look forward to more articles about canada and better web design.

The battle between the East coast snoskate

companies and the west coast snoskate companies has finally been settled. The west coast has won. After almost six years snowboard mega com-pany Burton has decided that they are “just not cool enough to compete” with the west coast’s Mervin Manufacturing. Burton will stop making snoskates and concentrate on products for olympic sponsored events.

Arizona’s premier snoskate company may possibly

be merging with North coast Trucks. Hopefully North coast will be relocating to Arizona.

Following the suite of most snoskate inno-

vators, Ryan Davis has separated from Mervin Manufacturing and is now safely employed at Spacecraft.

Rob Scala of Renton washington received

the first shirt made by

The New ccS catalog has an ad for Fuse

snoskates. It also offers a bunch of flat deck boards that aren’t worth a shit. If you’re going to order out of the catalog, order Fuse.

Jared Bailey has “re-lieved” BJ kaiser and

been promoted from STARFiSH Puppet Master to merchandising dude. This means that now STARFiSH actually has stickers and T-shirts in-stead on just having ideas for them.

STARFiSH’s new merchan-dising dude, Jared Bailey. All of the paint came off of the shirt the first time Rob washed it. welcome aboard Mr. Bailey.

Good news for every one who pre-ordered

their snoskates from Mervin Manufacturing, they should be arriving

some time late in January.

Just wanted to say I really dug this is-sue of the Starfish which I found in a skate shop in Mis-soula on a trip out

there recently.

The history of snoskating, start-

ing with space and spores, is probably the

single greatest article ever writ-ten by a human.

The Grindline “ad” featuring the ultra rare shot of the Q building carna-

tion is way off the scale.

I don’t know if you guys still make this thing, or whatever, but I wanted you to know you have at

least one fan.

chris HildebrandGeneral ManagerGindline Skate

Parks, Inc

STARFiSH HAS AT LEAST ONE FAN!

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