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Greater Milwaukee Central Office
“Welcoming Newcomers and Aiding AA Groups In Our Community.”
Vol. 28 Issue 8 August 2020
25¢
Published monthly by Greater Milwaukee Central Office, Inc.,
7429 W. Greenfield Ave.,
West Allis, WI 53214, (414) 771-9119 Visit our website at:
www.aamilwaukee.com
WRITING THE AMENDS LIST Just after the finishing the Third Step
Prayer, my sponsor, Carl, had me ask God for help with my Fourth
Step information; this was simply praying to God to show me where I
had been selfish, dishonest, resentful and fearful, then writing
the an-swer as soon as it came from my deep inner self. (The Big
Book mentions “the Great Reality deep within”—p 55) The Oxford
Group—from hence came our Twelve Steps—called this practice
“Automatic Writing.” I added more information later from memory,
but at first it had to be spontaneous. Once on this paper it could
not be erased or altered, especially the harms I had done to
others—not to forget employers, loan companies, etc.
About a week later, we were at Step Eight and much had been
added to my list, especially from Step Five, thanks to my spon-sor.
The Step Eight information concerning the harms to oth-ers was
right there on paper—remarkably simple—and there was no backing
out!
Carl informed me that although I need to be willing to make
amends to everyone on that list, there were certain amends that may
harm others, and some may have been impossible to execute. What to
do? I was told leave them on my Eighth Step list but be careful to
follow the Big Book Step Nine instructions so as not to make
another person’s life troublesome. How to know? “God gave us brains
to use” (p. 86).
I must add that, as previously stated, I came awfully close to
drinking about two weeks before starting the step process.
Therefore, my sponsor told me that I could not rely on my mind to
put truth on pa-per—after all, didn’t my mind almost lead me into
a
bar just two weeks before? He pointed out that I had a
dis-honest mind. He also said that he thought I was “silly as a pet
raccoon” which I did not like very much. Ha.
I think it is important to realize that to follow the Big Book
Step Eight directions I needed to realize that the Steps are in
order for a reason. If I would have followed the temptation to make
an amends list out of order, it would not have been nearly so
effective. I would not have followed the Big Book’s “clear cut
directions.” (p. 29) I continue to thank God for providing me with
a sponsor dedicated to the true AA pro-gram of action.
Bob S, Richmond, IN
Reprinted with permission Robert Stonebraker, Richmond IN
Financial News: Please remember our tradition of “self-support”.
If you wish to contribute to the Central Office, you can now use
Venmo from your smartphone. @MilwaukeeCentralOffice-AA
https://venmo.com/code?user_id=2976454346276864728 ...0785 are the
last four digits of the phone number associated with the Venmo
account. (You may be asked for these numbers)
NO GROUP SECRETARY MEEING in September due to the COVID-19.
Step 8 June 1962. By: J. E. | Guilford, Connecticut Made a list
of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to
them all.
THERE'S a spicy bit of folklore around called "The Hell-Bound
Train," in which the devil taunts a trainload of alcoholic wraiths
as follows: "You've mocked at God in your hell-born pride, you've
plundered and cheated and sworn and lied; you've swindled,
murdered, robbed and stole; not one hasn't perjured his soul." It's
enough to make a repentant alcoholic curl up and disappear into the
nap of the nearest rug.
A conscience making accusations of this sort is an
un-comfortable thing to live with. Since one of the primary aims of
the AA program, as I understand it, is to help members live more
comfortably, we have to do something about the uneasy
conscience.
Repressive techniques, most of us have found, don't work. I have
never been able permanently to get rid of an uneasy conscience by
telling it to go away, or by getting busy with other things and
trying to forget it, or by pretending it wasn't there. The only
things that have worked for me, in more than fifteen years of
trying to live by the program, are admitting I've got it, asking
forgiveness of God and man, and making amends as suggested in Steps
Eight and Nine. Eight is the "on your
(“List” Continued on page 5)
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2 Bucks In The Basket... Make it a Reality, not just a
dream!
“Every AA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining
outside contributions.” Tradition Seven, Twelve Steps and Twelve
Traditions, Reprinted with permission AA World Services, Inc.
Seventh Tradition Checklist
Use VENMO on your smartphone to contribute.
Or Contribute using PayPal or your Credit Card from our
website.
Meeting Space Available when meet-ings start up, again.
Christ United Methodist Church, 5200 S 48th St. Greenfield WI
53221. Wheel-chair accessible space available. Contact: Jo,
414-421-0202 or email: [email protected]
The Southern Wisconsin Deaf Access Committee needs to rotate
it’s members. We are searching for two AA members to act as
Co-Chairs, a treasure, and a liaison person to work with Members of
AA Deaf community. They can email SWDAC at: mil-wareadeafaccess@
gmail.com
Southern Wisconsin Deaf Access Committee (SWDAC)
June 2020 Balance: $ 8,262.79 Contributions: $ 250.20
Interpreter : $ 150.00 Awareness Event N/A Expenses: $
Contributions: N/A Annual Cost of interpreters for 3 meet-ings a
week @$160 per meeting is $24,960 Leslie P. with questions:
[email protected]
https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/aa-literature/smf-131-traditions-checklist-from-the-aa-grapevinehttps://venmo.com/code?user_id=2976454346276864728https://www.aamilwaukee.com/index.php?page=contributehttps://www.aamilwaukee.com/index.php?page=contributehttps://www.greenfieldchristumc.org/mailto:[email protected]://southernwidac.org/https://southernwidac.org/mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]://southernwidac.org/https://southernwidac.org/mailto:[email protected]
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DISTRICT INFO ON THE WEB:
https://www.area75.org/page/districtmeetings
1. JACKSON, LaCROSSE, MONROE, VERNON, & TREMPEALEAU; 2 &
18 GREEN LAKE & MARQUETTE CNTY'S & PART OF WAUSHARA;
8 & 30 ROCK ; 9. CRAWFORD, GRANT, IOWA and LAFAYETTE; 19
& 37. RICHLAND & SAUK;
20, 21 & 26 DANE; 31. COLUMBIA CNTY; 35. GREEN; 37.
JUNEAU
CNTY’S
(Check the web address above for meeting info.)
3. MANITOWOC & SHEBOYGAN CNTY'S 3rd Wed. of month, 6:30 p.,
Even numbered months at 1907 Club, 2908 N. 21st St., Sheboygan. Odd
numbered months: Alano Club, 404 S 29 St Manitowoc
6. WALWORTH CNTY 2nd Tue. 7:30 p. Feb. Apr. June. Aug. Oct. and
Dec. only, Walworth Alano Club, 611 E. Walworth St., Delavan
7. KENOSHA CNTY 3rd Sun. of month, 4:00 p., Kenosha Alano Club,
630 56th St.
10.Spanish District. Contact: Salvador G. at 414-446-0158. Meets
every 2nd & 4th Sunday 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. 1663 S. 6th Street,
Milw.
11. JEFFERSON CNTY Meets last Wed. at 5:30 p.m. Moravian Church,
301 College St., Lake Mills,
12. WASHINGTON CNTY 1st Wed. of month, 6:00 p., the Jackson
Community Center N165W20330 Hickory Ln,, Jackson, WI. 53037
13. WAUKESHA CNTY (1 of 3) 1st Sun. of month, 1:00 p, St.
Matthias Church, 111 E. Main, Waukesha
14. MILWAUKEE CNTY (1 of 6) 4th Wed. of month, 7:00 p, Milwaukee
Central Office 7429 W Greenfield Ave., P.O. Box 13011, Wauwatosa WI
53226
16. MILWAUKEE CNTY (1 of 6) 1st Wed. of month, 6:00 p, Milw.
Cen-tral Office, 7429 W Greenfield Ave.
17. RACINE CNTY (1 of 2) 3rd Sun. of month, 1:00 p, Grove Club,
1037 Grove Ave., Racine
23. DODGE CNTY 1st Wed of month at 7:00 p, Dodge Cnty Alano
Club, 115 N. Lincoln, Beaver Dam, call to confirm 920-583-3142
24. OZAUKEE CNTY 3rd Tue. of month, 6:30 p., Peltz Center for
Jew-ish Life, 2233 W Mequon Rd. Mequon
25. FOND du LAC CNTY 2nd Tue. of month, 6:30 p., Gratitude Club,
295 Ruggles St., Fond du Lac
27. MILWAUKEE CNTY (1 of 6) 3rd Wednesday of month, 7:00 p.m.
Covenant Lutheran Church, 8121 W Hope Ave, Milwaukee WI 53222
28. MILWAUKEE CNTY (1 of 6) 1st Mon. of month, 7:00 p, Bay View
United Methodist 2772 S Kinnickinnic Ave. Bay View, WI 53207
29. MILWAUKEE CNTY (1 of 6) 1st Mon. of month, 7:00 p, Luther
Memorial Church, 2840 S 84th St., West Allis, WI 53227
32. WAUKESHA CNTY (1 of 3) 4th Tuesday of month, 6:30 p,
Bethle-hem Evangelical Lutheran Church, 470 Oak Crest Dr., Wales
WI.
34. WAUKESHA CNTY (1 of 3) 1st Tue. of month, 6:30 p, Northwest
Alano Club, N88W17658 Christman Rd., Menomonee Falls
36. RACINE/KENOSHA (1 of 2) 2nd Tues. month 6:00 p.m., 12 &
12 Club, 724 N Pine St., Burlington
38. MILWAUKEE CNTY (1of 6) Last Sunday of month 4:30 p.m. All
Saint Cathedral, 818 E Juneau Ave.
SEND ADDITIONS AND CORRECTIONS TO:
7429 W. Greenfield Ave, West Allis, WI 53214,
[email protected]
Area 75, Southern WI, ,Calendar of Events 2020 Madison Senior
Center, 330 W. Mifflin St.,
Madison, Held at Senior Center except where otherwise
noted.
Sep.13, 2020, Assembly
Nov. 6-8, 2020, Conference Area 75 Holiday Inn, Manitowoc WI
ADDRESSES FOR YOUR INFORMATION Milwaukee Central Office: 7429 W
Greenfield Ave, West Allis, WI 53214 [email protected] Area 75
Treasurer: PMB #167, 5464 N Port Washington Rd., Glendale WI 53217
General Service Office: G.S.O, P O Box 459, Grand Central Station,
New York, N.Y. 10163 Area 75 Corrections, or Bridging the Gap or
Treatment write to: PMB # 170, 5464 N Port Washington Rd., Glendale
WI 53217 Southern Wisconsin Deaf Access Committee : Email:
[email protected]; Mailto: Deaf Access Committee, P.O.
Box 1982, Waukesha WI 53186
TAYCHEEDAH CORRECTIONAL, Meetings are held 1st, 2nd & 4th
Tues-day and on the 3rd Thursday at 5:45 -7:30 p.m., Gloria K.
(920) 921-2395
FEDERAL CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION, P.O. Box 1085 Oxford, No
Meeting!
FEDERAL CORRECTIONAL Satellite Camp, New Path Group, P. O. Box
1085 Oxford, WI. Meetings Wed. at 1:30 p.m.
OAK HILL AA GROUP, OAK HILL WCI 5212 Hwy M, P.O. Box 140 Oregon,
WI 53575 Meetings Wednesday at 7:00 p.m. and Sunday at 6:30 p.m.
Contact: Rick B. (608) 235-5154
THOMPSON FARM, RT. 2 DEERFIELD, WI., Closed meeting Tuesday at
8:00 p.m. Contact: Tom Dickert, (608)764-5755
ROBERT ELLSWORTH CORRECTIONAL, 21425A Spring St., Union Grove,
53182 Call for AA Meeting times: Contact Jennifer H. 262) 237-1294
or Cheryl P. (262) 914-3970.
KETTLE MORAINE CORR., Box 31, W9071 Forrest Dr., Plymouth, AA
Thr. at 6:00 p.m. Contact Mike L (920) 898-4782.
WAUPUN CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION AA Meeting Sat. , 8:00a.m.-9:30
a.m. Dale C. 920-387-4229 after 5 p. clearance.
MILWAUKEE COUNTY HOUSE OF CORRECTION, 8885 S. 68th St. Franklin
WI.
MILWAUKEE COUNTY JAIL 9th & State Milwaukee WI.
MILWAUKEE SECURE DETENTION CENTER, 1015 N. 10th St.
Mil-waukee
Milwaukee Women’s Correctional Ctr. 615 W Keefe Ave.
Milwaukee
FOX LAKE CORRECTIONAL, Box #147, Fox Lake, WI 53933 Closed
meetings Tue. & Fri. from 6:00 -8:00 p.m.
JEFFERSON COUNTY JAIL 411 S. Center St., Jefferson, WI, Mtng.
held on Mon. at 7:00 p.m., Contact: Scott N. 920-397-0170
RACINE CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION for MEN Mtngs: Sun. 8:30 AM,
Dane Rx Unit; Wed. 7:00 p. and two meetings on Thursday at 7:00 p.
English and Spanish. Call Paul H. (262) 537-2884
MILWAUKEE COUNTY CORRECTIONS COMMITTEE: meets at 5:30 p.m. on
the 3rd Thursday on odd numbered months at Greater Milwaukee
Central Office, 7429 W Greenfield Ave, West Allis WI 53214.
Donation should be sent to: MCCC, PO Box 270544, Milwaukee WI
53227-0544. Contact coordinator: Kota at email:
[email protected] with questions.
Corrections volunteers must go through the committee to get AA
literature to take into the various facilities. Milwau-kee Central
Office no longer handles the funds.
https://www.area75.org/page/districtmeetingsmailto:[email protected]://www.area75.org/calendar/http://www.aamilwaukee.commailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]://southernwidac.org/mailto:[email protected]://mtg.area75.org/corrections.htmlmailto:[email protected]:[email protected]
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MILW. CENTRAL OFFICE
E-mail us at: [email protected]
Temporary Hours until further notice: M - F 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Sat. 9 a.m. - 12 p.m.
Secretary Meeting Bi-monthly beginning the 2nd Tuesday of March
at 6:30 p. and each odd numbered month thereafter. Jan, Mar, (May,
July, cancelled) Sept. and Nov.
Board of Directors Meeting, Wednesday following Secretaries
Meeting, (odd months) 6:30 p.
A. A. Meetings, Mon - Fri at 12:15 p., Wed. & Thur at 4 p.,
Sat. 9:15 a., & 10:30 a.
Service Manual Study: 2nd Thurs. of month at 6 p.m.
Dist. 14, 4th Wed. at 7 p.m.
Dist. 16, 1st Wed. at 6 p.m.
Milw Cnty Corrections Commit-tee, 3rd Thurs. at 5:30 on odd
numbered months.
Spanish Speaking Meetings: Meeting at English Speaking Clubs
GRUPO 5 CONCEPTOS, Pass It On Club, 6229 W. Forest Home Av,
Milw, on Saturday at 8: p.
GRUPO NUEVO AMANECER, Tri-County Unity Club, 104 N. First St,
Watertown, on Tuesdays and Fridays at 7:00 PM and on Sun-day at
11:00 AM
GRUPO FE Y ESPRONZA, Gratitude Club, 295 Ruggles St. Fond du Lac
WI on Wednesday at 7:00 PM and Sundays at 4:00 PM
SERVICE MANUAL STUDY, 6 p.m. 2020 Schedule: Aug 13, Sept 10, Oct
8, and Nov 12, Dec no meeting.
Milwaukee Central Office, 7429 W Green-field Ave, West Allis WI
53214
Find out more about the AA Service Manu-al. Study group is open
to any AA member whether currently active in AA service work, or
not. Contact: Nancy H at 414-801-5184 with
questions.
Years Name Home Group
45 (July) Jeanne P. Oconomowoc.
33 (July 13th) Jackie J. Grafton
36 (July 16th) Daniel B. Milwaukee
6 (July 15) Michael F. Gp 74, Milw. Psych.
44 (Aug. 18) Tom H. Central Office Meetings
Payment/Contribution: using VENMO or from our website, using
Credit Card or PayPal.
a contribution
mailto:[email protected]://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/aa-literature/bm-31-aa-service-manual-combined-with-twelve-concepts-for-world-serviceshttps://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/aa-literature/bm-31-aa-service-manual-combined-with-twelve-concepts-for-world-servicesmailto:[email protected]:[email protected]://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/understanding-anonymityhttps://venmo.com/code?user_id=2976454346276864728https://www.aamilwaukee.com/index.php?page=contributehttps://www.aamilwaukee.com/index.php?page=contribute
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marks, get set," Nine is "go!" Right now we're on Eight.
To get into a frame of mind to make amends is a hard thing for
an alcoholic--at least, this alcoholic--to do. It brings to mind
times when, as a child, I was made to say "I'm sorry" for some
uninten-tional mistake. I wasn't really sorry because I hadn't
intended to do wrong. I resented being rammed into the guilty seat,
and wound up at the end of the scene with a worse conscience than
I'd had at the beginning.
As a full-blown alcoholic, even after introduction to AA, some
of this childhood attitude persisted. I strongly resisted
suggestions that I express regret and make restitution. It wasn't
really my fault, something within me was arguing, that I had become
an alcoholic. Through no deed of my own, I had inherited a
constitu-tion that was susceptible to the sauce. I'd been born into
a society that encouraged the use of alcohol and thrown among
compan-ions who worshipped it. I had only done what everybody did.
Was it my fault if things had gone wrong?
Only gradually did I come to understand the essential
childish-ness of this point of view. Slowly, I began to see that no
human being, alcoholic or not, could live at peace in this world
unless he had made himself part of a network of harmonious human
rela-tionships. This could come about only when he had established
inner harmony by coming to terms with his own troublesome
conscience, and outer harmony by making amends to those he had
injured and with whom he was in regular contact.
Steps Eight and Nine are the "human relations steps." It will be
noted that other people are not mentioned at all (except for brief
reference to "another human being" in Step Five) until Step Eight.
Now, after having done something about getting right with a Higher
Power, we're ready to take on the job of getting right with human
society.
The authors of the Steps showed great wisdom in breaking up the
work of restitution into two parts. Step Eight, the getting ready,
is an essential preliminary. To make amends less than
wholeheart-edly would defeat the purpose of Step Nine. I gradually
came to comprehend that until I was ready to take on to myself the
full responsibility for my actions, including the influence on them
of a million years of history and twenty thousand generations of
fore-bears, I was not really adult. Whatever might have been
society's fault and heredity's fault, I accepted as my fault, along
with those offenses which originated with me. (I have a hunch one
of the reasons the Higher Power is so ready to forgive is that He
acknowledges the racial burden we bear). Then I tried to get ready
to make good wherever possible.
This has never been an easy process for me. But it is the only
route I know to that estimable goal of a reasonably harmonious
inner life and friendly outer relationships. My own difficulties
have already been partly chronicled in Grapevine. Seven years ago,
in the "Twelve Steps and the Older Member" series, I got going on
how this step looked to me on first arrival in AA, and after seven
years:
"I remember just how I felt about Number Eight at the start. I
didn't like it. Most of the time I didn't want to think about the
persons I had harmed. Rather I inclined to brood about those who
had harmed me.
"Take this thing cafeteria style," I was advised. 'Select what
you want and can digest, and leave the rest until later.' Part of
the 'rest to be left for later' was the Eighth Step.
"Whether we like it or not, we are fundamentally moral
creatures. Even the most depraved of us offer moral justifications
for what we do. I justified my drinking on grounds it wasn't
hurting any-
one but me.
"Old John Donne had a point when he wrote that 'no man is an
island.' Take the loneliest homeless drunk you can think of, and
let's see whether he harms people. He harms the room clerk, the
bellhop and the chambermaid of the hotel where he's holed up, with
a sense that their services are wasted, the cop and judge who
finally lock him up and the doctor who treats him, with the
frus-tration of such work. He harms the people he passes on the
street by scaring some, angering others and saddening the rest. His
friends are harmed by the loss of his friendship; if he has no
friends, he's depriving those who need friends. Let's face it, we
alcoholics have hurt people by our insane drinking.
"I certainly did. I had a boss, business associates, a wife, two
kids, a brother, a sister, a father and mother. They all had a
sense of insecurity where I was concerned, and this was especially
hard on the kids, whose whole world wobbles when one of the parents
at its center wobbles.
"And I really wobbled. The night of my father's funeral I was
drunk and when my mother came to my house for solace I was drunk
and when people had a birthday or an anniversary or a sol-emn
occasion or a crisis, I was drunk.
"Gradually, as the twenty-four-hour periods in AA linked
them-selves into weeks, then months and finally years, a change
began in my outlook. This change is not complete, but its direction
is something like this: At first I inclined to feel that the
universe was not giving me my just due, that I deserved far better
than I got. As the change progresses, I tend more to feel I'm lucky
God gave me a look-in on His marvelous creation on any terms, that
I'm lucky to be let off so easily for my misdemeanors.
"Thoughts like this mean more and more to me: God has given us
power to harm people if we want to. Anybody can smash a fine watch,
but how many can make one? A person is more wonderful than the most
marvelous watch. It's easy to smash a person's hap-piness, but how
many know how to restore it?
"Make amends? Some amends I can never make, in the sense of
reliving years already lived. But I can try to live these present
days the way I ought to have lived all my days.
"It's strange how a deep change of heart brings opportunities
for restitution one never thought were possible. There's a certain
man I've always thought highly of. I flubbed things so badly our
rela-tionship was strained, so I thought, beyond repair. Yet just
the other day I picked up the phone and called him on impulse. We
had a nice chat, and by even so ordinary a means the extraordi-nary
thing was accomplished: our relationship as friends was
reestablished."
Gradually, just by being around AA and soaking up some of the
excess goodwill our society can generate when it's working well, we
really become willing to make amends. Really wanting to takes the
strain out of actually doing it. When the time comes, we sit down
and make our list.
My list was short. This was the human relations step, I
reasoned, as well as the conscience step. Thereafter, whenever my
con-science began to yell at me I could yell back: "Okay, I'm
working on it!" I decided to restrict my amends to those with whom
I had continuing contact. Old friends whose addresses I'd lost,
burned-out flames and broken associations of other days were set
aside. My job is to live with the people I live with. Wife,
in-laws, chil-dren, relatives, work associates, present friends--it
is to these staunch ones I must make my amends. Step Eight is
getting the list ready and the heart ready. Step Nine--actually
making amends--comes next.
Reprinted with permission AA Grapevine Inc. June 1962
(“List” Continued from page 1)
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August 2014
Pay Them, Not Me By: Jennifer M. | Mobile, Alabama
Doing service is one thing, working an eight-hour job is
another
TRADITION EIGHT: Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever
nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special
workers.
Going on Twelfth Step calls, chairing meetings, sharing my
story, doing H&I service, working on special committees for AA
events, and doing general service for my home group are all types
of service work, but they do not by any means qualify as paying
positions. However, AA does hire people to perform certain
tasks.
While I do work a full-time job and have a life, the truth is
that the time I give to Alcoholics Anonymous is an investment in my
sobriety. I do not need to get paid, nor would I want to. To be
paid would take away from the humbling and spiritually fulfilling
aspect of service that I need to stay sober.
The work I do that’s not seen by everyone is definitely the most
rewarding, such as when I am sitting at home counting enve-lopes or
preparing my report for my home group. It’s especially rewarding
when I don’t feel like doing it, but I do it anyway. This kind of
service helps me to learn accountability, discipline and humility,
which I often lack. These traits can’t be bought.
We’re taught in Alcoholics Anonymous that service will keep us
sober. We’re also taught that no person should make a sole
vo-cation of such work. I actually look forward to retiring and
do-nating a larger chunk of time to AA and general service
work.
Now, how about those paid positions in AA? How about the men and
women at the General Service Office (GSO) who an-swer phones for
book orders, or the ones who process the countless letters,
articles, questions, comments, updates or do-nations? These
activities may be service, and even though it’s for AA, these are
jobs.
Truth is, these jobs actually help make my Twelfth Step work a
lot easier. When I call GSO as a part of a service commitment, the
person on the line is helping me to carry the message, via books
and other literature. They also sometimes answer ques-tions and
share experiences other groups may have had. But in truth, the work
they do at GSO is hard work—and they should get paid.
I don’t put in an eight-hour day for AA. Sure, in the course of
a
week I may put in a few hours, but that’s my time. Any
person
who is putting in a 40-hour week to facilitate the running of
AA
should be paid. Anyone who puts in time carrying the message
and working with others and thinks they should get paid, I
will
pray for!
Reprinted with permission AA Grapevine Inc. August 2014
August 2014
Pedro's Story By: Pedro V. | Havestraw, New York
During my childhood drinking was the way I related to my
party-ing friends—smoking, drinking and girls. Then, around 17 or
18, I joined the Army. After basic training, I became officially
alco-holic: beer was all I thought about. My time with the Army
came to an end, but my alcoholism was just getting started.
Then came disco music, parties, sex and drugs. Wow, what a life!
Or so I thought. During one of my outings, I meet a girl named
Tara, who's now my wife. Despite my craziness, God blessed me with
her. I drank and partied. I prided myself that I paid the bills,
yet I took money from my wife and kids. I would
lie and say I hadn't done it. I'd drink and call my wife names.
Afterward, I wouldn't remember. I'd buy vodka and then hide the
bottle so my wife wouldn't find it. Of course I'd forget where I
had put it. I'd go crazy looking for the vodka until I found it and
guzzled it down.
On June 8, 2012, I got so drunk my wife called the police. I
went to jail for a month. I realized then that drinking was
destroying my life and my family. Then I received a blessing from
God: I went to a rehab.
Now my wife and kids are beginning to come together as a
fam-ily. I realize that if I put God and AA first, I can keep this
gift and be free for the rest of my life. My experience teaches me
that I cannot go back to the old life. But thanks to AA, and most
of all the grace of God, I can make a brand new start.
Reprinted with permission AA Grapevine Inc. August 2014
October 1977
The Eighth Step; Around the Tables
AROUND THE TABLES, I have, of late, participated in a
succes-sion of discussions centering on the Eighth Step. I regard
this Step as the easiest but perhaps the most subtle in the
program. It requires only that I make a list of people I have
harmed and become willing to make amends to them all. Unlike Step
Five, Eight does not require that I seek out a companion and unload
it on him. It does not require searching my soul or being hum-
ble--only making a list and becoming willing. Step Nine requires
some damn bold action, so it is very different from, though
ob-viously dependent on, Step Eight.
The Eighth Step relates to people other than me.
Unquestiona-bly, it points outward and not inward. Many of us feel
anger about this position and protest, "I didn't hurt anyone else
but me. I figure I have to make amends to me." The phrasing may
vary, but the idea is always the same: "make amends to me."
(“Amends” Continued on page 12)
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7
NEW DAY CLUB
11936 N. Port Washington Mequon, (262) 241-4673
http://www.newdayclub.net
A.A. MEETING SCHEDULE
Sun. 8:00 a. Topic 11:00 a. Topic . 5:00 p. Young People 7:30 p.
Topic
Mon. 12:30 p. Tenth Step Gp 5:30 p. More about Alcoholism 7:00
p. 8:15 p. Men’s Gp
Tue. 10:00 a. Topic 5:30 p. Big Book 7:00 p. Beginners Gp 8:00
p. Big Book Gp
Wed. 10:00 a. Topic 2:00 p. Promises Meeting 5:30 p. Step
Meeting 7:00 p. Women’ s Lifeline
Thr. 0:00 a. Topic Meeting 1:00 p. Women’s AA Gp 5:30 p. Topic
Meeting Fri. 10:00 a. Topic Meeting 5:30 p. Step/Tradition 8:00
p.
Sat. 10:00 a. Step Meeting 5:00 p. Fellowship of Spirit 7:00 p.
Feelings 10:00 p. Young People
8:00 p. Open Meeting (held on 3rd Saturday of month only)
AL-ANON MEETINGS Monday 6:30 p. Al-Anon Tuesday 1:00 p.
Al-Anon/ACOA Thursday 7:00 p. Al-Anon
Contact club for info on other fellowships.
PASS IT ON CLUB
6229 W. Forest Home Ave Milwaukee WI (414) 541-6923
A.A. MEETING SCHEDULE Sun. 8:00 a. Sun. Wake Up 8:00 a. 3
Legados (spanish) 9:30 a. Reliance Meeting 11:00 a. Today' choice
3:00 p. Gratitude Plus 7:00 p. Big Book Readers Mon 7:30 a. Jump
Start 10:30 a. First Step 4:00 p. Happy Hour Step Gp. 7:00 p. Open
IntroductoryAA Tue. 7:30 a. Comin’Back Gp 10:30 a. Keep It Simple
4:00 p. Drop the Rock 7:30 p. Three Legacies 7:30 p. Double Trouble
DD/O Wed. 7:30 a. Big Book Study 10:30 a. Pass It On 4:00 p. Happy
Hr Promises 5:30 p. Courage to Change 7:00 p. We, Us & Ours
Thr. 7:30 a. Welcome Back Gp 10:30 a. Made Decision 5:15 p. As Bill
Sees It 7:00 p. Gateway Topic Gp Fri. 7:30 a. Honesty Gp. 10:30 a.
Came To Believe 6:00 p. Women's Fri. Kickoff 6:30 p. Thoughts 4
Today 8:00 p. Broken Arrow Sat. 8:30 a. Early Bird 10:30 a. Happy
Joyous Free 3:00 p. Twelve Promises 8:00 p. Spanish Speaking 8:00
p. Back to Basics 12x12
AL-ANON MEETINGS
LAKE AREA CLUB N60 W 35878 Lake Dr
Oconomowoc, WI (262) 567-9912
www.lakeareaclub.com A.A. MEETING CHEDULE
Sun. 8:00 a. Early Bird 11:00 a. Friendship Gp 6:00 p. Big Book
8:00 p. Gopher Sunday
Mon. 9:00 a. Positive Attitude 6:30 p. Otter Gp 8:00 p.
Step/Tradition Stdy
Tue. 1:00 p. 4:00 p. 7:00 p. Life House
Wed. 8:00 a. 10:00 a. Back To Basics 1:00 p. Women’s Meeting
6:00 p. 8:00 p.
Thr. 10:00 a. 4:00 p. 6:00 p. Women's Group 8:00 p. Grapevine
Mtng
Fri. 12:30 p. 4:00 p. 6:00 p. Non-smoking 8:00 p. Old School
House
Sat. 8:30 a. 11th Step 10:00 a. Big Book OPEN AA/Al-Anon
SPEAKER MEETING
Sat. 7:00 p. 2nd & 4th Saturdays (AA and/or Al-Anon
Speakers)
AL-ANON MEETINGS
Mon. 7:00 p. Al-Anon Tue. 9:00 a. Al-Anon Wed. 7:00 p.
Al-Anon
WAUKESHA ALANO CLUB 318 W. Broadway
Waukesha, WI (262) 549-6541
A.A. MEETING
SCHEDULE
Sun. 9:30 a. Sun Morn Sunlite
11:00 a. Sun Go-To-Mtng
(Open speaker 2nd Sunday & Breakfast)
7:00 p. (Open Step Gp)
Mon. 12:00 Noon
6:00 p. Beginners AA
7:00 p. (12 & 12)
Tue. 12:00 Noon
Wed. 12:00 Noon
5:30 p. Topic Gp
Thr. 12:00 Noon
Fri. 12:00 Noon T.G.I.F. Gp
7:00 Topic Discussion Sat. 10:00 a. Gp 124 7:00 p. Closed
Meeting
OPEN MEETINGS,
DANCES & EVENTS
Call for information.
GALANO CLUB
- LGBT & All in Recovery -
7210 W Greenfield Ave
Suite 1, Lower Level
Milwaukee, WI 53214
(414) 276-6936
http://www.galanoclub.org/
[email protected] MEETING SCHEDULE
Sun. 10:30 a. Step Topic 6:00 p. AA Multimedia
Mon. 7:30 p. Came To Believe
Tue. 6:00 p. 40 + Topic
Wed. 7:00 p. 12 x 12
Thurs. 7:30 p. Living Sober - ODAT
Fri. 7:00 p. Step/Topic
Sat. 7:30 p. Big Book & More
AL-ANON MEETINGS
Sun. 10:30 a. Al-anon
Meeting Space Available
See website for Club Events.
www.galanoclub.org
Sun. 11:00 a. Wed. 7:00 p. Thr. 7:00 p. (Alateen)
Fri. 7:30 p. Sat. 10:30 a.
NORTHWEST ALANO
CLUB* N88 W17658 Christman Rd
Menomonee Falls WI 53051 (No Phone)
A.A. MEETING SCHEDULE
Sun. 10:00 a. Big Book 7:00 p.
Mon. 7:00 p. Just Do It Gp 8:00 p. Action Gp
Tue. 10:00 a. Step 8:00 p. Topic
Wed. 7:30 p. Step/Topic
Thr. 10:00 a. Step 6:00 p. Women's
Fri. 8:00 p. Step/Topic
Sat. 10:00 a. Step 7:00 p. Simply Sober Gp
AL-ANON MEETINGS Wed. 7:00 p. Al-Anon
Fri. 7:30 p. Al-Anon
*This Club is a Smoke-Free environment. We have ample meeting
space available for 12 Step groups. Contact the Northwest Alano
Club by mail.
WALWORTH COUNTY ALANO CLUB
611 Walworth St. (Hwy. 50 & 11)
Delavan, WI 53115, (262) 740-1888
Sunday AA 10:00 a. Primitive Group 12:00 Noon Open Speakers 6:30
p. Delavan Discussion Monday AA 7:30 a. Sunny Side Up 12:00 Noon
Delavan Step Meeting 6:30 p. Former Miss Americas (Women’s Step
Group) 6:30 p. Delavan Men’s Meeting Tuesday AA 7:30 a. Sunny Side
Up 12:00 Noon Delavan Noon Gp. 6:30 p. Delavan 12 Step Topic
Wednesday AA 7:30 a. Sunny Side Up 12:00 Noon As Bill Sees It Gp.
6:30 p. Delavan IT Meeting Thursday AA 7:30 a. Sunny Side Up 12:00
Noon Delavan Noon Gp. 5:30 p. Step Sisters Women 6:30 p. Delavan
Big Book Gp. Friday AA 7:30 a. Sunny Side Up 12:00 Noon Big Book
Study 6:30 p. Delavan Discussion Saturday AA 7:30 a. Sunny Side Up
12:00 Noon Delavan Noon Gp. 6:30 p. Delavan Beginners Gp.
ALANO CLUB 1521 N. Prospect Ave., Milwaukee, WI, 53202
(414) 278-9102 http://www.mkealanoclub.org/
A.A. MEETING SCHEDULE Sun. 7:00 a. AA Meeting 10:00 a. Gp 17
Step 1:00 p. Refuge Recovery 4:30 p. Life Savers Mon. 7:00 a. Early
Morning 10:30 a. Gp 72 Topic 12:15 p. Big Book Meeting 6:30 p. Gp
40 Big Book Tue. 7:00 a. As Bill Sees It, 10:30 a. Gp 70 Step 12:15
p. Gp 76 7:00 p. Beginners, 1st Step Wed. 7:00 a. AA Women’s
meeting 10:30 a. Gp 9, Step 12:15 p. Oasis Topic Gp 6:00 p. Chicks
at Six Gp 7:30 p. Yoga AA Thr. 6:00 a. AA 7:00 a. Big Book Meeting
10:30 a. Gp 97, Step 12:15 p. Here & Now Gp 7:00 p. Sober and
Out Fri. 7:00 a. Daily Reflections 10:30 a. Gp 21, Step 12:15 p. Gp
65 6:30 p. Here & Now 11:59 p. Second Shifters (Sat.) Sat. 7:00
a. AA Meeting 11:00 a. Gp 87 Step 3:00 p. Spiritual Growth 7:30 p.
Open Speaker 9:00 p. Here and Now AL-ANON MEETING Sunday 10:00 a.
Al-Anon
H.O.W. TO CLUB 8930 W. National Ave,
West Allis, (414) 543-2448
http://howtoclub.info/ M, W, F, Sat. 9 a. -11 p,
Tue Thr 9a. - 9p., Sun 8a to 9p.
Sun. 8:00 a. Eye Opener AA Gp. 10:00 a. Grass Roots (Steps) 4:30
p. Drop the Rock 6/7 Step 6:00 p. Restore Us To Sanity 8:00 p. Sun.
Sober & Serene Mon. 11:00 a. Winner’s Circle 5:45 p. Gp 132,
Women's Gp 7:00 p. Big Book Gp. 8:00 p. New Hope Gp. 11:15 p.
What's The Point Tue. 11:00 a. Willingness Group 6:00 p. Topic Gp
7:00 p. Sign for Sobriety AA 8:00 p. 12 & 12 AA Meeting
Wed.10:00 a. Foundations Meeting 6:00 p. AA Beginners Gp. 7:00 p.
Women’s Freedom 8:00 p. Promises Group 11:15 p. After Hours Gp.
Thr. 10:00 a. But For Grace Of God 6:00 p. Here and Now 8:00 p. How
To Get It Going Fri. 11:00 a. Priority Group 6:00 p. Big Book Group
8:00 p. R.U.S. For Us 11:15 p. Candlelight Promises Sat. 9:15 a.
Men’s Topic 11:00 a. Pioneers Group 6:00 p. 1st & 12 Topic
*8:00 p. HOW To Saturday
*(Open meeting on 3rd Saturday)
24 HOUR CLUB 153 Green Bay Rd.
Thiensville, WI
Web and Facebook Info
A.A. MEETING SCHEDULE
Sun. 8:00 a. Topic
10:00 a. Step/Topic
5:00 p. Step
Mon. 6:30 a. Topic
10:00 a. Topic
8:00 p. Men's
Tue. 6:30 a. Topic
10:00 a. Step/Topic
5:30 p. Big Book
Wed. 6:30 a. Topic
10:00 a. Big Book
5:15 p. Women’s
Thr. 6:30 a. Topic 10:00 a. Topic 5:30 p. Step/Topic/Trad 8:00
p. Men’s 12 & 12
Fri. 6:30 a. Topic 10:00 a. Step/12 & 12 5:30 p. Principles
8:00 p. Step
Sat. 6:30 a. Topic 8:30 a. Big Book /Steps 10:00 a. Big Book
8:00 p. Open Speaker Mtng. (1st Saturday Only)
TRADITION EIGHT By: Colin R. | Sydney, February 1959, AA
Grapevine, Inc.
CALLING all Tradition-lawyers . . . the artistes of argument!
Here's your arena . . .
Once again the two opposites that make a composite bob up. This
time it's ideals and money . . . the spiritual and the materi-al.
But let us lend a sympathetic, humble, and indeed willing attitude
of mind when reconciling spiritual values with the use
of paid workers. Any contentious AA member may not pause to
realize that the ideals of a special worker are no doubt as
sin-cere and pure as his own. All over the world it's been my
per-sonal experience that these workers are people dedicated to
their indispensable positions throughout AA . . . Not only with
money should they be paid . . . but with our heartfelt gratitude as
well. Bill W. sums everything up neatly, "Professional work-ers are
not professional AAs . . . " To this, sez I, amen! There is no
argument if we really understand Tradition Eight . . .
https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/aa-guidelineshttp://www.newdayclub.nethttps://www.passitonclub.com/http://www.lakeareaclub.comhttps://www.facebook.com/www.acwinc.org/https://www.facebook.com/www.acwinc.org/http://www.galanoclub.org/mailto:[email protected]://www.galanoclub.org/https://www.facebook.com/pages/Walworth-County-Alano-Club/134009733318053https://www.facebook.com/pages/Walworth-County-Alano-Club/134009733318053http://www.mkealanoclub.org/http://howtoclub.info/https://www.facebook.com/pages/Twenty-Four-Hour-Club/115660498455619
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UNITY CLUB 1715 Creek Rd
West Bend, (262) 338-3500 [email protected]
www.facebook.com
AA MEETING SCHEDULE
Sun. 10:30 a.** Gratitude Gp. 8:00 p. Candlelight Gp.
Mon. 10:00 a. Monday A.M. 7:00 p. Men's 7:00 p. Women’s
Tue. 10:00 a. Tuesday A.M. 7:30 p. Beginner's 8:00 p. Step
Gp
Wed. 10:00 a. Promises 1:00 p. Steps/Promises 8:15 p. Step
Gp
Thr. 10:00 a. Big Book 7:00 p. EZ Dozen12x12
Fri. 10:00 a. Step/Topic Gp 8:00 p. * Step Gp.
Sat. 10:00 a. Here & Now 7:00 p. Big Book AL-ANON &
ALATEEN MTNGS Saturday 9:00 a. Al-Anon Thursday 7:15 p. Al-Anon *
Open Mtng. Last Friday of month ** Open Mtng. 3rd Sunday of month
(10:30 a.m.)
FRIENDSHIP CLUB
2245 W. Fond du Lac Ave Milwaukee , WI (414) 931-7033
Email:
[email protected]
MEETING SCHEDULE
Sunday
10:00 a. Friendship 11:00 a. Third Sunday Open Meeting
Monday
10:30 a. Step Gp
Tuesday
7:00 p. Gp 43 Big Book
Saturday
10:30 a. Gp 112 Step
Call for information on other types of meetings.
Email: [email protected]
12 STEP CLUB 4102 W Townsend St.
Milwaukee, WI 53216
(414) 871-0610
A.A. MEETING SCHEDULE
Wednesday:
11:00 a. Gp. 27
Friday:
11:00 a. Gp. 61(12x12)
Saturday:
10:00 a. Beginner’s
7:00 p. Gp 6
Call the club for infor-mation on Open Speaker AA meetings,
meetings for other fellowships and for special events.
MILWAUKEE GROUP 933 E Center St, (River West)
Milwaukee WI 53212
A.A. MEETINGS
Sun. 10:00 a Open (Disc.) 8:30 p. Big Book
Mon. 5:30 p. Big Book 7:00 p. Open (1st Step) 8:30 p. Topic Tue.
7:00 p. Open (Topic) 8:30 p. Open (Big Book) Wed. 7:00 p. Open (Big
Book) 8:30 p. Topic
Thur. 6:30 p. Open (Topic) 8:30 p. Step
Fri. 7:00 p. Beginner’s 8:30 p. Open (Big Book) Sat. 8:30 p.
Topic
Milwaukee Central Office 7429 W Greenfield
West Allis WI 414-771-9119 A.A. MEETINGS
Mon. 12:15 p Tue. 12:15 p Wed. 12:15 p, 4:00 p Thur. 12:15 p,
4:00 p Fri. 12:15 p Sat. 9:15 a, 1st Step 10:30 a
We do not meet on major holidays.
LIGHTHOUSE ON DEWEY 1220 Dewey Ave. Wauwatosa WI AA MEETINGS
Sunday 6:00 p. Jim’s First Step 7:30 p. Gp 78 Tuesday 6:00 p.
11th Step Meditation 7:30 p. Professionals Wednesday 7:30 p. Big
Book 8:00 p. “RES-IPSA” Thursday 7:30 p. Alumni No 12 Friday 7:15
p. Gp 74 Saturday 10:00 a. Gp 59 7:00 p. Big Book Topic
All Saint’s Cathedral
818 E Juneau Av Milw 53202 Monday: 7:30 p.m. Sane & Sober
Tuesday: 10:30 a.m. Men’s meeting Wednesday: 7:30 p.m. Men’s
meeting Thursday: 7:00 p.m. Men’s meeting Friday: 7:30 p.m. Big
Book Saturday: 10:30 a.m. Men’s meeting
NEW MEETINGS
Sundays 6:00 p.m. Galano Club, 7210 W
Greenfield Ave, West Allis. “Multimedia Sunday Night AA
Meeting”
Mondays 7:30 p.m. First Unitarian Society, 1342 N Astor St.
Milwaukee, “We Agnos-tics”.
Mondays 6:30 p.m. Uhles Cigar Shop (LL) 114 W Wisconsin Ave,
Milw 53203. Cigar
smoking allowed. No wheelchair access.
Tuesday 6:30 p.m. Cedar Springs Church,
3128 Slinger Rd, Slinger WI 53086
Thursday at 6 p.m., St Matthew CME, 2944
N 9th St, Milwaukee 53206
Thursday at 7 p.m. Men’s Gp, All Saint’s
Cathedral 818 E Juneau Ave, Milw. 53202
Fridays at 7p.m., Primary Purpose, St James Catholic Church,
W220N6588 Town
Line Rd, Menomonee Falls WI 53051
Saturday 8:30 a.m. Step Meeting Lumen Christi Catholic Church,
2750 W Mequon Rd,
Mequon WI 53092
Saturday 7:30 p.m. 7210 W Greenfield Ave,
West Allis 53214
DISBANDED GROUPS
Tuesday 8:00 p.m. Treat Yourself Tue. Christ Church, 5655 N Lake
Dr. Whitefish
Bay WI
Tuesday 8:30 a.m. Home At Last, met at St
Luke’s Lutheran, 6705 Northway, Greendale
Wednesday 1:30 p.m. Bridges of Milw. Re-hab and Care Center,
6800 N 76th St. Mil-
waukee.
Wednesday 8 p.m. Menomonee Falls, Gloria
Dei Church, W180N7863 Town Hall Rd.
OTHER CHANGES
WELL Beginners and WELL Big Book, Tuesdays in Wales, NOW meets
at: New Vision Bretheren-Christ Church, N14W27995
Silvernail Rd, Pewaukee WI 53072
OPEN SPEAKER
Weekly & monthly speaker meetings listed in October 2019
When & Where
aamilwaukee.com/directory.html
Sundays at 10 a. Milwaukee Gp. 933 E
Center St, Milwaukee WI, 53212
2nd Sunday at 11:00 a. Alano Club 318 W.
Broadway, Waukesha,
3rd Sunday Open 11 a., Friendship Club,
2245 W Fond du Lac Ave, Milw
Sundays at 7:00 p. VA Hospital 5000 W
National Ave 3rd Floor Unit 3A
1st Tuesdays in Jan, Apr, July and Octo-ber at 7:30 p.
Acceptance Gp. First Congre-gational Church, 1111 N Chicago Ave
So.
Milwaukee.
Last Wednesday 7:30 p. Gp 23 First Luther-
an Church, 7400 W Lapham St, West Allis
Wednesdays at 7:00 p. Salem United Meth-
odist Church, 541 Hwy. 59, Waukesha
3rd Thursday, 7:30 p. St John Vianney,
1755 N Calhoun Rd, Brookfield WI
Every Friday 7:00 p. Christ the King, 1600 N
Genesee Rd Delafield
4th Friday 8:00 p. Imago Dei Church, 2327
N. 52nd St., Milwaukee 53210
1st Saturday 8:00 p. 24 Hour Club Open
Meeting, 153 Green Bay Rd, Thiensville.
1st Saturday at 7:00 p. Dist.12, Living Word Lutheran Church,
2240 Living Word Ln.,
Jackson WI 53037
2nd Saturday at 7:00 p. Dist. 34, St. Francis Episcopal Church,
N84 W16525 Menomonee
Ave, Menomonee Falls, WI
3rd Saturday 7:30 p. HOW To Club 8930 W.
National Ave, West Allis
3rd Saturday 8:00 p. New Day Club 11936
N. Port Washington Rd, Mequon,
5th Saturday 3:00 p. How To Club, 8930 W
National Ave, West Allis
Every Saturdays 7:30 p. Alano Club 1521
N. Prospect, Milwaukee.
Contact the Central Office via email:
[email protected], with changes
mailto:[email protected]://www.facebook.com/unityclub1715/mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/aa-guidelineshttp://www.aamilwaukee.com/index.php?page=meeting-directorymailto:[email protected]
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9
All the groups listed in your When and Where directory, should
be contributing regularly to the support of your Central Office. We
want to be here when anyone reaches out for help. A big thank you
to everyone, for all you do.
Redemptorist Retreat Center,
1800 N Timber Trail Lane, Ocono-
mowoc, WI 53066, (262) 567-6900
Email: [email protected]
Please call for information and
schedule of retreats for recovering
people. AA and Al-Anon, $250
three nights. We discuss the 12
steps and related topics.
ASL Interpreter
Available: Meeting for Deaf and Hard
of Hearing,
Tuesdays 7:00 P.M.,
H.O.W To Club, 8930 W National Ave. West Allis
WI 53227
2020 Weekend Retreats Jesuit Retreat House,
4800 Fahrnwald Rd. Oshkosh, WI 54901, call 800-962-7330
jesuitretreathouse.org Men and Women in AA, Al-Anon
Total cost: 4 days $390.00. Send a $75.00 deposit with requests
for specific dates to retreat house or call for info. Men: , Dec.
3-6 2020. Women: Nov. 12-15 2020, Nov. 19-22 2020.
Need to make a group or personal contribution?
Use our CONTRIBUTE button on our website: aamilwaukee.com or use
our your VENMO app from your smartphone.
http://www.aamilwaukee.com/index.php?page=meeting-directoryhttps://www.redemptoristretreat.org/mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]://www.jesuitretreathouse.org/https://www.jesuitretreathouse.org/https://www.jesuitretreathouse.org/http://jesuitretreathouse.orghttps://www.aamilwaukee.com/index.php?page=contributehttps://www.aamilwaukee.com/https://venmo.com/code?user_id=2976454346276864728
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https://us02web.zoom.us/j/8594494504?pwd=R2lXQlpmT0hDUGNIdm5PVlpKbWx5Zz09
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/8594494504?pwd=R2lXQlpmT0hDUGNIdm5PVlpKbWx5Zz09
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August 2003
Tommy's Mustache By: Daniel A. D. | New York, New York
Step Eight - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and
be-came willing to make amends to them all.
This Step was, for some reason, a particularly hard one for me
to tackle. While I did my initial Fourth and Fifth Steps when I was
about ten months sober (and another full Fourth and Fifth a year
later), it wasn't until I was almost four years sober that I pulled
myself together and did an Eighth Step.
In part, this was because of Step-slump, or Step-discouragement,
resulting from the bewildered, foggy time I spent in Steps Six and
Seven after the crisp, and exhilarating experiences of Steps Four
and Five. There was substantial fear also: I knew Nine was only one
Step away and would no doubt involve humiliating encounters with
hateful people. My friend Jules kept pointing out that "Step Eight
is only a list, just a list, no action" until I finally sat down
and wrote it (though I knew that Jules was lying shameless-ly).
Many people put themselves on their lists. That's fine if it's
fine for them. For me, it would not have worked. I think of Steps
Eight and Nine as giving me a chance to heal myself with respect to
my guilt and incompetence in my relations, not with myself, but
with some of the hundreds of millions of people lucky enough to not
be me. Other Steps covered my amends to hate-ful, all-important
me.
When it was at last completed, my Eighth Step list was puny; it
covered the back of one old envelope and less than half of the back
of another.
There were some, but not many, specific bad acts which fos-tered
guilt and required amends. However, running through my dealings
with each grouping of people in my life (family, friends, lovers,
work associates), I found a poisonous strain of self-absorption, an
unintended deafness to the needs, the hurts, the actual reality of
people other than myself. While I knew that I had large needs that
deserved to be fulfilled and that I was easi-ly hurt, it never
occurred to me to wonder whether others had similar traits. I call
this self-centered blindness "a case of Tom-my's mustache" (after a
long drinking evening I spent relating my triumphs and woes to my
friend Tommy, without ever notic-ing that he had transformed his
whole appearance by shaving his huge, bristly mustache; that was
appropriate--our friendship was about me, not him).
So my principal amends were of this nature--unintended neglect
and tactlessness. There were some active wrongs, such as:
(1) I stole from clients. When I handed in a slip to receive
reim-bursement for amounts I'd spent on behalf of a law client, I
al-most always padded it a bit. A business trip might properly
cost
$300; I would put in for $315. These thefts were not about
greed. Partly they arose from my attraction to danger (these were
petty thefts, but they were thefts, and they wouldn't catch me),
partly to establish my uniqueness (stealing violates one of those
rules that don't apply to me). An amend was clearly called for. But
what amend? When it came time for Step Nine, after much conferring
with my sponsor, I devised a just and appropri-ate solution.
(2) Some years before I got sober, at a year-end meeting of
part-ners held to decide on how the next year's profits, if any,
would be divided, I gave a little speech that was meant to force
recog-nition of my high value and worth. The device I used was to
compare myself, my energy, my creativity, my loyalty, and my income
production with those of a fellow whom I painted as a slacker
partner. There was no malice in my heart or voice. In fact, my
victim was a very able, fine man, whom I liked. But a plan is a
plan, a speech is a speech; one must make a point. It
never occurred to me that any viciousness was involved, or any
pain caused (the man was in the room as I spoke). I just made my
talk, and it either worked or it didn't. A week or so later, at a
firm party, I was bewildered when the man's wife re-fused to speak
to me. And then I understood. For the next five or more years, much
of my energy went into managing to be in those parts of our small
office where this partner was not. Clearly an amend was needed. I
knew what the amend would be, and dreaded it, but by the time I
was
ready for Step Nine, I was ready to make it.
(3) Two persons, my brother and my senior law partner, ap-peared
on my list of "harmed ones" followed by question marks. In each
case, the men wished to become close to me, one pro-fessionally and
the other personally, and in effect I had refused close relations.
Did I owe either an apology and a changed atti-tude or not? Clouds
of confusion and uncertainty hid the answer from me, and I knew
why: Both of these men were the objects of my white-lipped
resentment--justified, of course. I wanted to achieve forgiveness,
but couldn't. As instructed, I prayed daily, as sincerely as I
could, that they would be given every good thing I hoped for
myself, but both resentments boiled and bub-bled on. Eventually,
aided by prayer, but principally as a result of distance, boredom,
and battle fatigue, the resentment level re-ceded enough for
clarity to creep in. Happily, no amends were required. My partner,
although brilliant, was credit-grabbing and conceited, poison to
clients, hard to handle; avoiding him was professionally wise. Even
more clearly, my brother, after decades of heavy drinking, had
become zany and vicious; any close relationship with him would be
inadvisable.
I had thought that when I was asked to do anything for anyone, I
should do it; any refusal was a bad act. My experience with this
Step taught me that, in some situations, healthy self-protection
required the answer: "Sorry, but I don't do that." I once heard a
woman say, "In politics, we have a saying: 'Forgive and Remem-ber.'
" My wrestling with the Step taught me that lesson.
Reprinted with permission AA Grapevine Inc. August 2003
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12
August 2020
No One’s the Boss - Audio Recording By: Steve S. | Bloomfield,
N.J.
Oh, no! What will these AAs make him do? What does he owe? This
newcomer’s first encounter with the Traditions was a pleas-ant
surprise
At my very first AA meeting, two large vinyl posters were
hanging on the wall. The Twelve Steps were on one poster and the
Twelve Traditions were on another.
With a suspicion-filled mind, I read the words on them. What I
gathered from the Traditions was that it sounded like no one in
particular was in charge, and the only goal was to help. I figured
this was like most organizations; its ideals were posted on the
walls. I sat in meetings a long time waiting to spot who actually
was going to presume they could boss me around and what they would
claim I owed.
Turns out I was wrong. As a dear AA friend likes to share at
meetings, “When it comes to carrying AA’s message, we do it for fun
and for free.”
My suspicion, which today I consider a fermented form of fear,
has never played out. Here and there, AAs might act bossy, but not
one is the boss of another. We are each left to our own path of
recovery. We are each subject to our own devices, our own
consciences.
And we owe nothing. Matters of money, time and talents are also
left to each member to decide whether or not, and how much to
contribute. Each member is their own boss and chooses if and how to
contribute to AA’s collective effort to carry the AA mes-sage to
alcoholics who still suffer. This approach is best.
There’s a line in the Tradition Eight essay from our book Twelve
Steps and Twelve Traditions which says, “Alcoholics simply will not
listen to a paid Twelfth-Stepper.” I identify. This principle of
“non-professionalism” when it comes to carrying AA’s message saved
me from my fearful, suspicion-driven mind. As I sat reading those
Traditions on the poster that day, I decided that if some-one
attempted to boss me, I wasn’t coming to another meeting. I
would take my alcohol-soaked resentments home and not come
back!
Thankfully no one bossed me. Rather, many helped, and the Steps
provided a path to freedom from alcohol and the resent-ments that I
have continued to enjoy for more than 20 years now.
Another influence, more subtle but as great in importance, also
stemmed from Tradition Eight as I look back. The first meeting I
attended included about six or seven regulars. I took quick
meas-ure of them, as I had to spot who the boss really was among
them. The suspicion in my keen alcoholic mind was dulled and
ultimately outdone by openness. Not one of the six or seven took on
being “the boss” and not one of them was getting paid. The real
kicker though, what kicked down my suspicion and made room for some
open-mindedness, was the fact that they were there in our meeting
every week just to be helpful—and they were having fun.
I wasn’t having much fun in those days. Being afraid and
resentful of everyone and everything is serious stuff. Also, I
wasn’t inter-ested in doing anything without getting paid, even
though I was a lousy employee and hardly employed.
When it came to AA’s message being carried, non-professionalism
was in effect at that first AA meeting I attend-ed—no bosses and no
one getting paid. There’s more to Tradition Eight, including the
whole bit about service centers and employ-ment and support of AA
members’ Twelfth Step efforts. But this article is short, so I hope
you review for yourself, in full, the Tra-dition Eight essay in the
“Twelve and Twelve.”
Tradition Eight, and all Twelve Traditions on the one poster,
were all in effect and a part of the AA group I was so fortunate to
find. I am grateful because I know today that those Traditions
fostered the group’s environment of love and tolerance as well as
single-ness of purpose. All of which were essential so I would
stick around long enough to experience the amazing gifts along the
path described on that other poster, the one with the Twelve
Steps.
Reprinted with permission AA Grapevine, Inc. August 2020
Click here to listen to the Audio Recording
Frankly, I think this is so much garbage. It's one of the "old
ideas" the Big Book advises us to discard--namely, selfishness. If
the founders had meant Eight and Nine to be directed at themselves,
they would have so stated in plain English.
But here's an AA paradox: I have found, to my great joy, that if
I work on Eight and Nine and keep the emphasis on my relation-ships
with others, these Steps actually do bring about the ulti-mate
amends to me--a happy, sober day-to-day life that brims over with
gladness, happiness, good fortune, and all that I could wish for.
It's far better to work on the Steps the way the Big Book and the
"Twelve and Twelve" suggest than to risk losing this great
life.
Reprinted with permission, AA Grapevine, October 1977
(“Amends” Continued from page 6)
https://www.aagrapevine.org/sites/default/files/2020-07/12_AAGV_Aug20_No%20Ones%20The%20Boss.mp3https://www.aagrapevine.org/sites/default/files/2020-07/12_AAGV_Aug20_No%20Ones%20The%20Boss.mp3