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Page 1: Vin d the approach

Copyright 2006 theApproach

theApproach

Special Report: Structured Natural Game

Visit us on the web at http://www.the-approach.net

Page 2: Vin d the approach

Copyright 2006 theApproach

1.What is meant by Natural Game?

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There are a number of men to whom game seems effortless. They seem to be born with it. Hence the term ‘naturals’.

If you have ever met one of these guys, you

know exactly what I mean. You’ll also know they have one very distinct thing in common:

Their absolute inability to explain anything

they actually do. It can be very frustrating trying to learn from a

guy like that. They have never know what it’s like to not have game, and therefore don’t know what steps are necessary to make the transformation:

• “Just be cool.” • “Just be yourself.” • “I don’t know, it just kinda happens.” • “Just go over and talk to her!” • “You’re thinking too much.” • “I Just do the first thing that comes to

mind.”

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While natural game has always been the most personal, effective and flexible way for attract-ing women, what it was missing was structure. It was not readily transferable from one person to the next.

When the internet gave birth to the seduction

community, guys were able to share their systems and develop linear models of pickup.

Highly reliant on canned material and routines,

early seduction methods were only marginally effec-tive in capturing the beliefs necessary to function on a high level.

What was created were men who became ro-

botic, lifeless, and emotionally inept. You can read all about them in “The Game”.

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Recently however, world renowned pickup artist Vin DiCarlo has managed to not only decon-struct the essence of natural game, isolate the mind-sets and beliefs behind it, but he has also created a free-flowing and reproducible structure to go with it.

He calls it Structured Natural Game. It has enough structure to be highly effec-

tive, but at the same time not enough to become a straightjacket.

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Structured Natural Game is something that enhances your own personal style, it does not re-quire you to become somebody you are not.

You won’t have to sacrifice your current life-

style, you won’t have to memorize hours of material and you won’t have to suffer through the extraordi-nary long learning curve that goes along with the traditional community teachings.

Vin has been teaching this method worldwide

for several years now, and what follows is a starting guide to making that very important transition to Structured Natural Game.

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“I’ve met my share of guys from the com-munity. After and watching them in the field, I have seen the same exact things over and over. They all run nearly the exact type of game, and have the same problems.

I am not criticizing other people’s models, I am

just providing a analysis of the EFFECT that these models are having on the bulk of the people I meet. I would estimate about 90% of random community guys I’ve met fall into this category.

Again I emphasize that it is not an inherent

flaw in the traditional community models, but more how people are interpreting these models, along with other factors related to societal conditioning.

This article will serve to help transition those

people who are interested from a “nerd-like” enter-tainment frame to a smooth natural approach which is inherently more seductive and effective particu-larly in endgame.

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1. The Two Fundamental Elements Re-quired for Conscious and Deliberate Pickup.

Any active pickup where the man decides who

he wants, approaches her and consciously moves the interaction to sex requires only two things.

They are:

1. Strong and unwavering belief that the girl wants him.

2. An interactive context which can lead

to isolation. The great part about this is that any context

will work. This represents the differences between all of the methods you see here in the community.

Be it Gunwitch with his strong rapport as-

sumption and ordinary conversation, or be it Mystery’s routines which fit into a precise and lin-ear system. They are both just interactive contexts which can lead to isolation. The true firepower, however is the set of beliefs driving the context.

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The reason why there is so much focus on con-text, is because it is something that can be learned quickly. It’s very easy to learn a few jokes and tell a few stories and memorize a few openers.

Internalizing good beliefs on the other hand,

usually takes months or even years. So you will see some gurus telling us to ignore the belief / in-ner game stuff and just develop a strong context.

While it may be beneficial to develop a really

strong context, we must take care that our execu-tion of techniques isn’t inhibiting the growth of good beliefs or installing limiting ones.

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The fastest route to mastery is to continue de-veloping strong beliefs and at the same time be-come familiar with a variety of contexts — get a lot of experience under your belt.

Adopt a really great inner game program, and

then go into the field and work your techniques. Learn to handle as many tough situations as pos-sible - large sets, daytime isolation, male competi-tion, direct approaches, etc.

Realize it can take quite some time before your

beliefs make a significant enough change such that you achieve the kind of success you’re really after.

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2. Technique, Focus, Beliefs and how they are related.

On the most superficial level, we have tech-

niques. A technique is something that you say or do while interacting with a woman. We all have a great deal of conscious control over which tech-niques we use. On the flipside, techniques are the least effective part of who you are and quite use-less without the deeper level foci and beliefs.

At the very deepest level, we have our beliefs.

Beliefs determine your reality, and are shaped by your identity. Unlike techniques, we have very lit-tle conscious control over our beliefs. They are so far below the surface of our awareness that it is nearly impossible to change them at will.

There are probably Zen monks who can con-

sciously affect their beliefs on command, but then again, those guys aren’t trying to learn to pick up women on the internet—to the best of my knowledge, anyway.

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Now what most people ignore, is the focus be-hind the techniques. This is the frame through which we deliver our techniques. A focus deter-mines the internal dialogue that you experience throughout the pickup. A focus can be applied to a group of techniques, and a group of foci is what makes up a belief.

A person can assign a focus to each group of

techniques. It simplifies your pickup by redirect-ing your attention. Instead of remembering 20 different technical details, you just have one men-tal focus.

Foci are easier to change than beliefs, but not

as easy to learn as techniques. Exerting conscious control over your focus is the most effective way to affect your inner game, since it is in direct con-tact with your belief system.

Example of a focus: Take the cocky line “Whoa, pointy shoes!

They’re nice, but I feel sorry for the little elf you stole them from, who’s now running around bare-foot.”

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You can deliver the line with the focus “She’s hot so I have to show her I’m indifferent / not impressed by her, so she thinks I’m better than her.”

-or- You can deliver the line with the focus “I care

about this woman, I’m enjoying the interaction, and I am joking with her to make her laugh and feel good.”

Obviously the latter is more effective, as the

former will come off insecure. Despite the fact that you are saying the same words, because you are using two different states of mind, you’ll get two dramatically different results. Not only will your results be worse, but carrying the former fo-cus around will only do harm to your belief sys-tem. It presupposes LOWER VALUE and lack of attraction. No good.

The end goal is to change your beliefs, since

they will ultimately have the greatest effect on your game. Simple repetition of techniques with-out the proper focus or with an incorrect focus will do damage to your belief system. You need to adopt great foci to insure proper development of a belief system.

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3. Paradigm Shift in the Seduction Commu-nity

The traditional model in use by the majority of

guys I’ve met is the following: • Assume that girls must be “hooked” in order

to be interested in you. (Sometimes true to varying degrees)

• Approach with prepared opinion opener de-signed to engage girls, meanwhile feigning disinterest.

• Assume since you’re approaching her, she’s automatically more valuable, so…

• Go right into story to in order to display higher value, which will generate the attrac-tion which was previously not present.

• Continue to tell stories, tease girls until you get clear indication of interest.

• Phase shift into “rapport / comfort” which consists of ordinary conversation, dropping the personality she was interested in initially.

• Bait her into qualifying herself to you, and no matter what she says, SOI her for that. (This step isn’t so bad)

• Isolate and escalate. (This one isn’t either)

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Seven Common Sticking Points in Execu-tion of the Traditional Community Model.

Sticking Point #1. Failing to be Situationally Relevant. This covers everything from using canned

openers without a relevant context to running stacks of seemingly unrelated material.

If you want to use opinion openers either: A. Genuinely care about the topic. -or- B. Make sure it’s obvious that the opinion

opener is just an excuse to talk to her. (In this case, ask it tongue and cheek and then quickly change topics)

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Many aspiring pickup artists spend hours and hours online, learning material, preparing a rou-tine stack which is designed to engage girls.

When used in the proper way, material can be

extremely powerful. But most of the time, it comes across cheesy, rehearsed and random.

It is great to learn a bit about the structure of

storytelling and basic conversational skills, but to do so without awareness of timing and placement can be very detrimental.

It is critical to learn situational relevance—

the laws that govern the flow of conversation and dictate what things make sense socially, to insure you don’t end up coming across random and un-calibrated.

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Canned material appears to work marvelously because it gets new guys into conversations, be-cause now they are actually talking to girls whereas previously they stood there and did noth-ing, having absolutely zero context.

On the other hand, there are a lot of people

who do not need that kind of content to be inter-esting to women.

When using techniques and routines, you must

communicate yourself through the techniques, not hide behind them.

Many men got into the game because they had

a fear of letting women see the real them. Rou-tines and techniques have become a very conven-ient veil that they could hide behind. Don’t let this happen.

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Sticking Point #2. Trying too hard to demonstrate higher

value. The reason why this is detrimental once again

goes back to the focus behind it. Feeling the need to demonstrate higher value is the same feeling that an average guy has when he starts bragging about his job or car or girls he’s sleeping with.

Sure, you are using a more sophisticated tech-

nique, but the mental focus and belief behind it is exactly the same.

Never go out of your way to demonstrate

higher value. Assume higher value! You’re the man! You have higher value automatically!

I tell plenty of stories in set, but I do it for fun,

because I’m having fun doing it — not with the intent of “proving myself ” to the girl.

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Sticking Point #3. Putting much more effort into the interac-

tion than the woman. In our model of attraction, we use the term

compliance to mean the work or effort a woman puts forth in the interaction.

When a man talks too much, stands while she

is sitting, or even moves around with more energy than her, he his indicating that he is working harder than she is.

This will kill attraction and destroy the possibil-

ity of creating a Sexual Power Reversal. Simple things like making her contribute to the

interaction, asking her to physically participate or taking her to meet his friends will help remedy the situation.

It is necessary to at the very least create the illu-

sion that he is not working very hard to win her over, and the closer to effortless he can make it appear, the better.

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Sticking Point #4. Over-reliance on Indicators of Interest. Don’t wait around for predetermined signs that

she is attracted before feeling good about the in-teraction. A woman’s interest will be based on your vibe anyway, and if your vibe is dependent on watching for predetermined signs, then you are leaving it up to chance.

Remember, one of the two things necessary in

pickup is the belief that the girl wants you. It may be difficult to believe at first but keep reminding yourself of this, and train yourself to see *everything* she does as a good indicator.

Is she looking at you when you talk? It’s on. Is she contributing to the conversation? It’s on. Is she standing in your physical proximity? It’s ON!

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Sticking Point #5. Dropping the personality that initially at-

tracted her as a part of a “phase shift”, mis-takenly thinking it takes X amount of time to attract a woman, or feeling the need to “transition into” X,Y or Z.

It sounds like three different points, but really

they all stem from the same type of beliefs and focus. They come from leftover society program-ming like “It takes a long time for women to be-come attracted.” or “Men have to earn a woman’s attention and attraction.”

If you do actually do well to convey a fun per-

sonality to a chick in the first few moments of meeting her, such that she is attracted to you, you should maintain that same fun personality while getting to know her better and deepening your connection. Intersperse your cocky banter and playfulness with your rapport. But at all costs, stay congruent and do not become someone else en-tirely.

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Sticking Point #6. Lack of congruence. Mixing and matching

techniques. It is not sufficient to be a man. You must be-

come an archetype. Women are attracted to archetypes much more

than ordinary. Once you determine what YOU stand for, you

must make every single element of your game congruent to that.

Everything you do, say, how you dress, your

mannerisms, your techniques should serve to re-inforce that archetype.

Any deviation from your identity is a leak in

your game that needs to be fixed. This accounts for why some techniques work

for some people and not others.

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Sticking Point #7. A complete lack of sexual tension. Since so many guys come from a background

of being shy for so long, they are unfamiliar with their newfound extroverted behavior.

Some will become extroverted to the point of

flamboyant, and some will become obsessively ‘alpha’ attempting to dominate every interaction without awareness of how they are coming across.

This appears clumsy, and ultimately lacking in

sexuality it is not attractive to women. Sexual tension is defined as “the contrast be-

tween a relaxed sexual vibe and the lack of any overt sexual advances.”

In many cases, it is much more effective to

“withhold” your game, and let her escalate on you.

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Natural Game. If you’re going to make the transition to natural

game, start out simple. It takes some getting used to, and requires attention on a couple of different levels. It may seem awkward at first, especially if you are use to the traditional indirect game model discussed above. But if you work with it and gain even just a baseline competence, you will:

• Improve your closing rate, avoiding

’sexless frames’ • Reduce your flaking • Focus more on the interaction and enjoy-

ing the process • Allow your true attractive personality to

bloom • Develop an incredible belief system If you would still prefer an indirect type of ap-

proach based on routines and canned material, it would surely be beneficial to implement these mindsets anyway, along with correcting all of the previously mentioned sticking points. It can do nothing but improve your results.

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Structured Natural Game : 1. Pre-Approach

The game starts before you even open your mouth. You should allow women in the venue to observe your Types 1, 2, 3 and 4 value. (Sign up for our free eCourse for more informa-tion on the four types of value)

2. Socialize

Use the concept of Situational Relevance to socialize with a girl or group of people you find interesting. Use this as a chance to build Compliance and Attainability.

3. Game

Play a game with her. Use role-playing and playful frames to get her outside of any reality which would prevent the two of you getting to-gether. The vacation frame, old lovers reuniting, and frames involving teamwork are excellent for this.

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4. Sexual Tension

Sexual tension is defined as: “The contrast between the presence of a controlled arousal state in the absence of overt physical advances.” Since you are already in a playful frame it is safe for her to start responding to you. Now is the time to build the sexual tension to the point of a Sexual Power Reversal or SPR.

5. Compliance

Once you have created adequate SPR, logistics and isolation should not be a problem. At this point sex has become more important to the girl than to you. Use this opportunity to lead her to a higher level of isolation.

6. Full Close

Repeat Steps 4 and 5 until you isolate and have sex with her. As you can see, this is a very simple struc-ture, but it’s effectiveness depends on the mental focus behind each step.

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Pre-Approach Focus:

The game starts way before you even walk up. A woman’s impression of you is largely deter-mined by what she sees before you open your mouth - that combined with the impression you make on her in the first few seconds upon social-izing.

People have a tendency to generalize the type

of person you are as fast as possible, which makes everything in the beginning very influential on the remainder of the interaction.

An attractive girl will often size you up based

on your body language, your behaviors and your interactions with others.

Be sure to have the correct mental focus:

1. Proactively Socialize Make an active effort to meet new people in the venue.

2. Charge the Venue Spread positive energy to other groups in the venue and improve their emotions.

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Socialize Focus:

When socializing, you are simply learning about the different groups of people who are in the venue.

Use this as an opportunity to see if these are

the type of people whom you would like to in-volve in your life.

One of the mistakes guys make in this stage of

the game is wanting too much from women be-fore even knowing if they are even worth their time and effort.

Have high standards, and screen people based

on those Be sure to have the correct mental focus:

1. Make Connections Find commonalities with people in the group or with the girl of your interest.

2. See If People Meet Your Standards Expect more from people and hold them to a high standard of behavior and communication.

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Game Focus:

Play a game with the girl. Present a playful atti-tude and allow her to join you.

If you are going to be humorous or cocky, it

must be done in a very warm and friendly man-ner.

Do these things because you care about her and

want her to feel good. Resist the urge to invalidate or one-up her.

She should know it’s just teasing, and she will

want to play along. Women pride themselves in how well they can

play a role. Use this to inspire her to become ab-solutely congruent to a role that puts you both on the same team.

You are done showing her your value, and there

is no more need to express to her how cool you are, or what your accomplishments are. If she sees them accidentally, fine, but never do it delib-erately.

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Sexual Tension Focus: You must reach a stable and unwavering mental

focus of controlled arousal. You must not have a desperate or horny vibe.

Your controlled arousal should be transmitted through your vocal tonality, eye contact, facial ex-pressions and body language.

Despite your urges, the key to creating sexual

tension is to withhold those urges. Going into an aroused state in the presence of a

woman will allow her to reach that arousal state as well.

Since you are not making overt passes at her,

she will just assume that she is simply feeling a high level of attraction to you.

Continue to hold the tension until you reach the

point where she is the one who is making passes at you.

It is useful to learn the five different types of kino,

sexual metaphors, allusions, frames, reward calibration and body language that really make this concept work.

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Compliance Focus: Once you have achieved a full Sexual Power

Reversal, it should be no problem getting enough compliance to get her alone and isolated with you.

Remember, the point of the SPR is to insure

that sex is more important to her than you. In other words, not only should she not be nervous about being alone with you, but she should actu-ally want it more than you.

At this point you should handle logistics and

take a strong lead. It is of utmost importance to be very decisive

and know exactly where you’re going. She must defer to your judgment.

Make the journey to isolation short and keep

the conversation active during the transition. Don’t talk about where you’re going in a way

that will intimidate her. I.e.. Don’t tell her that you’re going to a hotel now, just tell her that you want to keep spending time with her somewhere more quiet.

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Full Close: The state of mind you should have when inter-

acting with a girl should be one of ‘relaxed and relished certainty’. Don’t rush things.

In other words, you shouldn’t be dependent on

her, or too reactive to her. Imagine being a hunter with a high powered rifle, and you’re hunting a deer in some enclosed space. You know that any moment you can kill the deer - but instead you choose to relax and enjoy the experience because of that certainty.

You continue to relish in the experience, enjoy

the chase, and do it when at the absolute perfect moment.

It also reminds me of having some kind of des-

sert or maybe a delicious bottle of champagne that you could open at any moment and enjoy, but you put it off, because you’re enjoying the an-ticipation so much. Treat closing a woman exactly the same as these types of moments.

Enjoy your interaction with her being 100% certain that

it will lead where you want it to later on.

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The idea is that you provide her with in-structions at every point and make it clear how she should respond.

Intentions are always clear, actions are always

confident and calculated. The man knows the entire plan from point A to

point B, and always assumes she’s ready to go. No hesitation, no indecisiveness. This is truly what attracts women - much more

than *any* canned material. Her emotions are engaged 150% on overdrive. You are putting her IN THE ROMANCE

NOVEL.

Vincent DiCarlo