Using Transformative Mediation and Communication Skills in High Conflict Dialogues Mardi Winder-Adams Positive Communication Systems Pieces of The Whole
Dec 17, 2015
Using Transformative Mediation and Communication
Skills in High Conflict Dialogues
Mardi Winder-AdamsPositive Communication
Systemswww.poscs.com
Pieces of The Whole
Goals Of Transformative MediationWhat are the major goals of
transformative mediation?
What specific tools are used in transformative mediation sessions?
What is the role of the mediator in transformative mediation?
What are the roles of the parties in transformative mediations?
Transformative Tools In Other SettingsParenting CoordinationParenting EducationGroup Meeting FacilitationFamily Communication TrainingProfessional Development WorkshopsNegotiation TrainingNegotiation Consulting CoachingDaily CommunicationEffective Management
Just What Tools Transfer?ReframesSummaries Neutral languageThoughts Not FeelingsOpen Ended QuestionsClosed Questions For ClarificationActive Listening TechniquesRecognition and EmpowermentMindset of Resolution and Problem Solving
Creating A Safe EnvironmentCreating a physically safe environment
LocationTimeSpaceFurniture
Creating an emotionally safe environmentNeutral languageImpartiality in words and actionsRecognitionEmpowerment
Managing The EmotionsThe importance of true neutral languageFocus on thoughts not feelingsEmphasis on the present and future, not
dwelling in the pastRelevance of the parties contribution to the
discussionHealthy emotionsThe damage of ventingModeling and mindset developmentCan do vs. can’t possibly doStarting with the opening message
Open Questions Vs. Closed QuestionsWhy do parties in conflict prefer closed
questions and avoid open questions?
What is the value of a closed question?
What is the value of an open ended question?
Rewording closed questions to get to the interests
Circular Questioning TechniquesFrom the Milan Associates and the Milan modelChallenging previously held hypothesis regarding
the conflict/issue/problem/discordAsking individuals within a system to explore the
circular connectiveness of the group rather than focus on the linear relationships that most people draw (how others see the issue)
Used to develop a systemic understanding based on perceived differences that exist within a system
Can show patterns of connection with regards to members of a system by similar thoughts, behaviors, actions and perceptions
Neutralizing High Conflict Language
Modeling for the partiesRestating comments using quotes with
exploration and clarificationRestating for the benefit of the speakerRestating for the benefit of the listener
1.You are a liar.2.That is another example of a racist remark.3.I am always doing all the work and getting none
of the credit.4.You always were a terrible parent to the children.
Reframes – The Magic BulletCaptures the emotion, content and then a
recognition component for moving forwardAllows the parties to focus on what is needed
rather than what is NOT desiredHighly effective in allowing parties to understand
they are being heard
1.You are a liar.2.That is another example of a racist remark.3.I am always doing all the work and getting none
of the credit.4.You always were a terrible parent to the children.
Active Listening TechniquesObserving body language and actionsResponding appropriately to cues Addressing emotions and thoughtsClarificationBuilding understanding and rapportModeling
Recognition "means the evocation in individuals of
acknowledgment and empathy for the situation and problems of others." (Bush and Folger, 1994, p. 2.)
Recognition is given, not demanded or necessarily recipricated
How can recognition be developed outside of the mediation process?
What techniques are useful in developing recognition between the parties/participants/members?
Empowerment"empowerment means the restoration to
individuals of a sense of their own value and strength and their own capacity to handle life's problems.“ - (Bush and Folger, 1994, p. 2)
Occurs throughout the conversation/discussion/mediation
Is internal not externalCan only occur when parties are making their
own decisions and developing their own understanding
How is empowerment developed outside of the mediation process?