Use strong active verbs Unbury verbs disguised as nouns Use active voice Use the dependent clause Avoid over use of prepositional phrases 1
Use strong active verbs
Unbury verbs disguised as nouns
Use active voice
Use the dependent clause
Avoid over use of prepositional phrases
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Type Definition Sample
simple sentence(independent clause)
One complete thought with subject (noun) and predicate (verb).
Our team completed the project.
compound
sentence
(2 independent clauses)
Two complete but related independent clauses joined by a conjunction.
The team was challenged, but we were happy with the results.
complex sentence
(independent clause and a dependent clause)
An independent clause and a dependent clause. A dependent clause has a noun and verb, but cannot stand alone.
When we finished the project, we held a team party.
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Avoid weak verbs. They convey practically no sense of action
do, make, perform, have
forms of the verb to be (is, was)
Avoid nouns that are really verbs in disguise
Substitute verbs that create a clear sense of action
At the core of every good sentence is a
strong, precise verb.
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Make a recommendation Recommend
Formulate an argument
Arrive at a conclusion
Argue
Conclude
Disguised verbs get buried in the sentence:
The manager came to the realization that telecommuting made sense.
The manager realized that telecommuting made sense.
TipLook for words ending in tionor ment. Could they be converted to verbs?
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Frisky ate my homework. (4)
My homework was eaten by Frisky. (6)
Frisky = Doer / subject of sentence
ate = Active Verb
homework = Object of action
homework = Object as subject
by Frisky = Doer object of preposition
was eaten = passive verb
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The metropolis has been scorched by the dragon’s fiery breath. (10)
The technicians demanded longer coffee breaks. (6)
The explosion was caused by a kerosene lamp. (8)
The dragon’s fiery breath scorched the metropolis. (7)
The technicians demanded longer coffee breaks.
A kerosene lamp caused the explosion. (6)
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To emphasize the recipient of an action
To de-emphasize negative news
T0 conceal the doer of an action
An investigation was launched. (by accounting).
Cash refunds cannot be made. (by us)
An error was made in our sales figures.
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Active voice – less tactful Passive voice – more tactful
We cannot grant you credit. Credit cannot be granted.
The CEO made a huge error in projecting profits.
A huge error was made in projecting profits.
I launched a successful fitness program for our company last year.
A successful fitness program was launched for our company last year.
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A dependent clause…
Highlights the importance of something
Links ideas together
Shows how ideas are related
Start with a subordinating conjunction or relative pronoun
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So Where Before
Although Than Though
After Since When
Because As Whereas
If Unless until
While
Who What Which
That Why How (many)
Subordinating
conjunctions
Relative
Pronouns
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The project was not completed on time because the
machine parts were stolen.
If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
A helium nucleus has two protons whereas hydrogen has
only one.
Energy supplies will dwindle unless we conserve.
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in progress
on the floor
beside the garage
between the cities
of data-processing equipment
to a Martian
by walking on hot coals
Less informative alternative to
dependent clause
Treat all ideas as grammatically
equal
– No discrimination
– No emphasis among
qualifying details
Reader is left to interpret what
you are trying to say
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In their specifications for engine parts, titanium is often requested by engineers because of its resistance to the effects of high temperatures. (6)
Because titanium resists high temperatures,
engineers often request it in their engine part
specifications.
• dependent clause• active voice strong verb • only 1 preposition
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Eliminate unnecessary expressions
Limit long lead-ins
Drop unnecessary fillers
Remove redundant words
Dump trite expressions
Avoid slang and clichés
Instead of this
We are of the opinion that
Please feel free to
In addition to the above
At this point in time
Despite the fact that
Try this
We think
Please
Also
Now
Although
Instead of this
This memo is to inform
you that all employees
meet today.
I am writing this letter
to say thanks to
everyone who voted.
Try this
All employees meet today.
Thanks to everyone who voted.
Revise sentences to avoid fillers such as there is/was and it is/was when used merely to take up space.
Instead of this
There was only one
employee who should
be promoted.
It was Lisa and Jeff who were honored.
Try this
Only one employee should be promoted.
Lisa and Jeff were
honored.
Avoid unnecessarily repetitious words. What words could be omitted in these expressions?
advance warning
close proximity
exactly identical
filled to capacity
final outcome
necessary requisite
new beginning
past history
refer back
serious danger
advance warningclose proximityexactly identicalfilled to capacityfinal outcomenecessary requisitenew beginningpast historyrefer backserious danger
Trite and Outdated
as per your request
pursuant to your request
attached hereto
under separate cover
Modern
at your request
at your request
attached
separately