Compiled by Beyond Words Psychological Services 2015 TRANSRACIAL ADOPTION & RACIAL IDENTITY BOOK LISTS Common Sense Media: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/multicultural-books Lee and Low: http://blog.leeandlow.com/2013/10/10/book-list-childrens-books-with-transracial-adoption Little Parachutes: http://www.littleparachutes.com/subcategory.php?sid=92 Tapestry Books: http://www.tapestrybooks.com Understanding Prejudice: http://www.understandingprejudice.org/readroom/kidsbib.htm ADOPTION & TRANSRACIAL/CULTURAL BOOKS FOR KIDS Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl The Colors of Us Karen Katz The Day We Met You Phoebe Koehler Dear Wonderful You, Letters to Adopted & Foster Youth Diane Rene Christian & Mei-Mei Akwai Ellerman A Different Home: A New Foster Child’s Story John DeGarmo EMPOWRD! Ways to Respond to Adoption Questions Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker Families Change: A Book for Children Experiencing Termination of Parental Rights Julie Nelson How I Was Adopted Joanna Cole I Don’t Have Your Eyes Carrie Kitze I Love My Hair! Natasha Anastasia Tarpley I Love You Like Crazy Cakes Rose Lewis It’s Okay to Be Different Todd Parr A Long Way from Home Rey Sirakavit Maybe Days: A Book for Children in Foster Care Jennifer Wilgocki A Mother for Choco Keiko Kasza My Adopted Child, There’s No One Like You Dr. Kevin Leman A Rainbow of Friends P.K. Hallinan The Red Thread: An Adoption Fairy Tale Grace Lin Rosie’s Family: An Adoption Story Lori Rosove Sesame Street: We’re Different, We’re the Same Bobbi Jane Kates Shades of People Shelley Rotner & Sheila Kelly The Skin You Live In Michael Tyler The Sneetches & Other Stories Dr. Seuss Star of the Week: A Story of Love, Adoption, & Brownies with Sprinkles Darlene Friedman Sweet Moon Baby: An Adoption Tale Karen Henry Clark Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born Jamie Lee Curtis White Oleander Janet Fitch (For older teens) Yafi’s Family: An Ethiopian Boy’s Journey of Love, Loss, and Adoption Linda Pettitt ADOPTION & RACIAL IDENTITY BOOKS FOR PARENTS Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections Jean MacLeod & Dr. Sheena Macrae And Still We Rise: The Trials and Triumphs of Twelve Gifted Inner-City High School Students Miles Corwin Are Those Kids Yours? Cheri Register Attaching in Adoption Deborah Gray Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens Debbie Riley & John Meeks (C.A.S.E.) Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children with Severe Behaviors Heather Forbes & B. Bryan Post Black Baby White Hands: A View From the Crib Jaiya John
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Compiled by Beyond Words Psychological Services 2015
TRANSRACIAL ADOPTION & RACIAL IDENTITY BOOK LISTS
Common Sense Media: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/multicultural-books Lee and Low: http://blog.leeandlow.com/2013/10/10/book-list-childrens-books-with-transracial-adoption Little Parachutes: http://www.littleparachutes.com/subcategory.php?sid=92 Tapestry Books: http://www.tapestrybooks.com Understanding Prejudice: http://www.understandingprejudice.org/readroom/kidsbib.htm
ADOPTION & TRANSRACIAL/CULTURAL BOOKS FOR KIDS
Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl
The Colors of Us Karen Katz
The Day We Met You Phoebe Koehler
Dear Wonderful You, Letters to Adopted & Foster Youth Diane Rene Christian & Mei-Mei Akwai Ellerman
A Different Home: A New Foster Child’s Story John DeGarmo
EMPOWRD! Ways to Respond to Adoption Questions Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker
Families Change: A Book for Children Experiencing Termination of Parental Rights Julie Nelson
How I Was Adopted Joanna Cole
I Don’t Have Your Eyes Carrie Kitze
I Love My Hair! Natasha Anastasia Tarpley
I Love You Like Crazy Cakes Rose Lewis
It’s Okay to Be Different Todd Parr
A Long Way from Home Rey Sirakavit
Maybe Days: A Book for Children in Foster Care Jennifer Wilgocki
A Mother for Choco Keiko Kasza
My Adopted Child, There’s No One Like You Dr. Kevin Leman
A Rainbow of Friends P.K. Hallinan
The Red Thread: An Adoption Fairy Tale Grace Lin
Rosie’s Family: An Adoption Story Lori Rosove
Sesame Street: We’re Different, We’re the Same Bobbi Jane Kates
Shades of People Shelley Rotner & Sheila Kelly
The Skin You Live In Michael Tyler
The Sneetches & Other Stories Dr. Seuss
Star of the Week: A Story of Love, Adoption, & Brownies with Sprinkles Darlene Friedman
Sweet Moon Baby: An Adoption Tale Karen Henry Clark
Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born Jamie Lee Curtis
White Oleander Janet Fitch (For older teens)
Yafi’s Family: An Ethiopian Boy’s Journey of Love, Loss, and Adoption Linda Pettitt
ADOPTION & RACIAL IDENTITY BOOKS FOR PARENTS
Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections Jean MacLeod & Dr. Sheena Macrae
And Still We Rise: The Trials and Triumphs of Twelve Gifted Inner-City High School Students Miles Corwin
Are Those Kids Yours? Cheri Register
Attaching in Adoption Deborah Gray
Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens Debbie Riley & John Meeks (C.A.S.E.)
Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged
Children with Severe Behaviors Heather Forbes & B. Bryan Post
Black Baby White Hands: A View From the Crib Jaiya John
• Focus on literal color, but notice what’s “familiar”
• Unable to accurately identify race of self or others
• Fantasy world where anything can change, including skin color
• Developmentally inclined to see people as individuals
• Parenting tips: Introduce books & movies celebrating diversity, widen your circle of friends to include greater diversity, do not impose “adult meaning”
• Share about heritage of family members & celebrate traditions
• Starting to identify race accurately, may still get
confused (i.e. Asian person is Black)
• Begin to understand permanency & genes
This is why adoption & birth family questions commonly
begin to surface at this age!
• Categorize by skin color & recognize
it has more meaning
• Use stereotypes learned from family
& media
• Carefully choose the media, books & toys in your home as jumping off points for honest discussions of race/culture, especially throughout history • Even Disney movies offer discussions of differences in culture,
socioeconomic status, etc.
• Turn everyday moments into teachable moments • Example: Why are certain characters portrayed in stereotypical ways
in the media?
• Challenge stereotypes as they come up • “What makes you think that?” or “Where did you learn that?”
• Explain why it is untrue & unacceptable
• Distinguish race vs. true skin color to prepare children for prejudice they may face
• Continued importance of exposure & celebrations of family heritage!
• Accurately identify race & ethnicity
• Understand genetic link
• Identify a person’s ethnicity based on physical, social
• Continue to challenge stereotypes & emphasize teachable moments
• Continue to model respect & acceptance of differences in members of your community – remember the importance of congruence in your messages & behavior!
• Keep the lines of communication open & invite ongoing discussion
• Broaden opportunities for exposure to diversity through community organizations, activities, classes, etc.
• Be involved & aware of your child’s social circle
• Object of Curiosity “What are you?”
or “Where are you from?”
• Ethnic Assumptions “You’re Mexican, right?”
• Cultural Assumptions “When is the Chinese
New Year?” or “Do you have a good curry recipe?”
• Mistaken Babysitter “Oh, those are YOUR kids?!”
• Romantic relationship “That’s your dad?! I thought it was your
boyfriend!”
• Backhanded compliments “You’re cute for a Black girl” or
“Since you’re Asian you must be good at math”
• Treated differently when alone vs. with parents Followed in store by law enforcement, assumed to not speak English, etc.
• How will you manage your own reactions to incidents?
• Always address your child’s hurt first, not the person who
hurt them
• Consider how White privilege may allow you to have
different responses than your non-White child
• Role model various methods of response to help your
child find their best fit
• How & when is the “right time?”
• Validation reflections:
“I am so sorry you feel ___.”
“I can understand why you feel ___.”
“It makes sense to feel ___.”
“I would feel the same way.”
• Avoid use of the word “different” to describe your child
because it implies blame & tolerance
• Value your child’s input & work collaboratively to reach a
resolution
Redirect – conversation, energy
Avoid – danger, conflict
Defuse – kindness, offer help
Report – safety, struggles
Ignore – walk away with pride
Comeback – educate, humor, questions
• Acknowledge differences AND commonalities
• Myriad of ways to identify self & others
• Acknowledge blessing & burden of living in “multiple
worlds”
• Follow child’s lead, use their developmental
perspective to describe race & talk about racism
• Awareness & ownership over parent biases in an
effort to send clear, consistent, positive messages
• Expand your own world and actively engage in race
discussions with adult friends/adoptees of color
• Make diversity the norm from a young age
• Friends, social activities, daycare, school
• Books, TV, movies, music
• Toys, dolls, home décor
• Meal-planning & family outings
• Find role models who look like your child
• Celebrate holidays of all cultures, including yours! Juneteenth, Cinco de Mayo, Diwali, Kwanzaa, Chinese New Year, Unity Day
• Acknowledge differences in cultures (i.e. language, accent), then link commonalities (i.e. language is used to communicate love, fear, pride, needs, etc.)
• “The Cultural Iceberg” – importance of visiting birth country & knowing people of your child’s race