This speech was written for Toastmasters, District 74ʼs Humorous Contest. I got through the club and area contests. Knocked out in the Division Contest. The Right Wrong Turn Winston Churchill once said: “Dogs will look up at us. Cats will look down upon us. And, pigs will treat us about equal.” Mr contest chair, ladies and gentlemen. This story has a dog, cat and pig in it. Oh, and a lizard. All people, including superheroes have something that weakens them in some way or another: Superman has Kryptonite; Bill Clinton has a cat called Monica; Joost van der Westhuizen has Heat Magazine; Achilles had his heel and The Green Lantern ... nah, heʼs cool, heʼs got no weaknesses. Me. Iʼve got a few weaknesses. But my real Kryptonite are animals. In George Orwellʼs book animal farm, he says: “All Animals Are Equal. Some are more equal than others”. My animals are all communists ... they all dislike me equally. Iʼve got an ark-load of animal stories. When animals see me, they go into a total froth. Iʼve been attacked by a dog in Cape Town - 15 stitches. Iʼve been hunted by feral dogs in a coloured neighbourhood in Hout Bay ... donʼt ask. Iʼve been attacked by a tiger ... fish in the Kuvango River. A Budgie has bitten me. And, Iʼve Cell: 082 906 3693 - [email protected] - www.jacquesdevilliers.com www.jacquesdevilliers.com
Jacques de Villiers competed in Toastmasters 74 Area H5's Humorous Contest.
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Transcript
This speech was written for Toastmasters, District 74ʼs Humorous Contest. I got through the club and area contests. Knocked out in the Division Contest.
The Right Wrong Turn
Winston Churchill once said: “Dogs will look up at us. Cats will look down upon
us. And, pigs will treat us about equal.”
Mr contest chair, ladies and gentlemen.
This story has a dog, cat and pig in it. Oh, and a lizard.
All people, including superheroes have something that weakens them in some
way or another: Superman has Kryptonite; Bill Clinton has a cat called Monica;
Joost van der Westhuizen has Heat Magazine; Achilles had his heel and The
Green Lantern ... nah, heʼs cool, heʼs got no weaknesses.
Me. Iʼve got a few weaknesses. But my real Kryptonite are animals. In George
Orwellʼs book animal farm, he says: “All Animals Are Equal. Some are more
equal than others”. My animals are all communists ... they all dislike me equally.
Iʼve got an ark-load of animal stories. When animals see me, they go into a total
froth. Iʼve been attacked by a dog in Cape Town - 15 stitches. Iʼve been hunted
by feral dogs in a coloured neighbourhood in Hout Bay ... donʼt ask. Iʼve been
attacked by a tiger ... fish in the Kuvango River. A Budgie has bitten me. And, Iʼve