This Doco for Stress and Anxiety Assign Ment PDF

8/13/2019 This Doco for Stress and Anxiety Assign Ment PDF

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For Anxi ety and st r ess assi gn ment .

Why do I wor r y?

The Manual

I ncl udes answer s t o f r equent l yAsked quest i ons aboutAnxi et y, pani c at t acks, phobi asAnd al so sel f - hel p t echni ques.

Cont ent s

Par t I Under st andi ng your anxi et y

Par t I I Under st andi ng your pani c at t acks

Par t I I I Under st andi ng your phobi as

Par t I V Sel f Hel p Tool s and t echni ques

Gl ossary

Recommended l i t erat ure

I nt r oducti on

The Answer Manual i s desi gned t o hel p you t o under st and your anxi et yf r om many angl es and t o obt ai n some knowl edge as t o how t o you canhandl e anxi et y. The manual i s f ocused on hel pi ng you become aware ofyour part i cul ar anxi et y, and encour age changes i n your t hi nki ng andact i ng pat t er ns. Ther e ar e a f ew sel f - hel p t ool s and t echni ques t hatyou can ef f ect i vel y use t o br i ng about desi r abl e changes i n yourbehavi or .

Thi s manual i s based on my exper i ence as an anxi et y speci al i st , andal so t r ai ned i n Cogni t i ve Behavi or al Ther apy, Hypnot her apy and Li f e

Coachi ng.

Cogni t i vebehavi or al t herapy f ocuses on changi ng negat i ve t hought s andbehavi or whi ch mai nt ai ns act i vi t y. ( Pl ease, r ead Gl ossar y expl ai ni ngt he t er mi nol ogy) . The benef i t s of Cogni t i ve- Behavi or al t her apy CBT have been wel l r esearched i n New Zeal and and ot her Engl i sh speaki ngcount r i es. The good news i s CBT i s ver y successf ul f or t r eat i ng al l


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t ypes of anxi et y, i ncl udi ng pani c at t acks and phobi as, wi t h st udi esdemonst r at i ng i mpr ovement s i n 80 90% of pat i ent s t r eat ed.

Sel f - hel p t ool s and t echni ques i n Par t I V i ncl ude t he basi cs of sel f -hypnosi s as t he most power f ul t ool of sel f - gr owt h and anxi et y

management .

I n par t I V, you wi l l al so f i nd some exer ci ses used i n l i f e coachi ng.Have you seen The Ki ng s Speech? I f yes, you mi ght r emember someheal i ng t echni ques t he l anguage t herapi st Li onel Logue was usi ng t ohel p t he Duke of Yor k t o overcome embar r assi ng st ammer i ng. The f utureki ng had an anxi ety pr obl em and hi s coach Li onel Logue encour aged hi mt o do a number of exer ci ses whi ch hel ped hi m t o rel ease hi s t ensi on.Wat ch t hi s f i l m agai n i f you want t o have a bet t er i dea of sel f - hel pt echni ques t hat I am of f er i ng i n par t I V.

My credo: As an exper i enced anxi et y speci al i st and Hypnot her api st , Iamr esponsi bl e t o mot i vat e you and of f er you t he most appr opr i atest r at egi es. But , I am onl y a coach. I t i s you who br i ng about t hedesi r abl e changes i n your behavi or .

To obtai n t he best r esul t s, r ead t he Manual car ef ul l y sever al t i mesand emai l me i f you have any quest i ons. I wi sh you a smoot h j our ney tot he dest i nat i on of Cal mness, Conf i dence, and Cont ent ment .

Part I

Underst andi ng Anxi ety

1. What i s Anxi et y?

Anxi et y i s f ear wi t hout t he cl ear t hr eat . The f ear i s a nat ur alr esponse t o some threat . When you have anxi et y, you t end t oover est i mat e your r i sk, t hr eat and danger .

Physi cal sympt oms of anxi ety ar e si mi l ar ( at l east some of t hem) t ot hat of st r ess: br eat hi ng i ncreases, hear t r aces, per spi r at i on, andmi nd f ocuses on t he t hr eat .

But , t he al ar m may be f al se.

2. What causes anxi et y?

The most common cause i s ear l y l i f e exper i ence. I f t hi s exper i ence i st r aumat i c, i t l eaves an echoi ng i n t he head. I f your par ent sr ei nf orced or r ewarded anxi ous behavi or , you may have l ear ned t hatbei ng anxi ous got you what you want ed. The anxi ous parent was a rol e


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model f or you i n chi l dhood. As a chi l d you i mi t at ed t he responses ofyour mother, f or exampl e.

Anxi ous peopl e over - emphasi ze t he event . They ver y of t en over -emphasi ze t he si gni f i cance of somebody s opi ni on.

These ar e exampl es of f ear s t hat can be t r aced t o ear l y chi l dhood wi t hanxi ous par ent s:

Fear of l i vi ng. Fear of dyi ng. Fear of f ai l ur e. Fear of i nt i macy. Fear of endi ng r el at i onshi ps. Fear of l osi ng money. Fear of st ar t i ng a busi ness. Fear of asser t i ng onesel f . Fear of bei ng al one.

Fear of publ i c speaki ng. Fear of cer t ai n i nsect s and ani mal s. Fear of f l yi ng, et c, et c.

You may cont i nue t he l i st .There ar e ot her causes of anxi et y: brai n wi r i ng, ( r ead quest i on 5) ,some hor mones excess or def i ci t , your l i f e st yl e and t hi nki ngpat t er ns.

3. How do hormones af f ect t he anxi et y?

Hormones are chemi cal subst ances t hat are pr oduced by endocr i neor gans, i ncl udi ng pi t ui t ar y, t hyr oi d, par at hyr oi d, adr enal , pancreasand ot her gl ands.

Hor mones change t he bl ood chemi st r y and some of t he hor mones canconsi derabl y change our mood. They are: adr enal i n, dopami ne,oxytoci ne, ser ot oni n, and mel at oni n.

Adr enal i n i s secret ed by t wo adr enal gl ands. I t i s known t o causei ncr eased hear t r ate and br eakdown of gl ycogen to gl ucose f or ener gy.Adr enal i n equi ps t he body t o handl e emer gency si t uat i ons. Thesi t uat i ons ar e cal l ed Fi ght or Fl i ght .

We st i l l have pr et t y much t he same anatomy and physi ol ogy l i ke our

ancest ors i n t he St one Age who devel oped t hi s sur vi val mechani smf i ght or f l i ght . The physi cal sympt oms ar e: i ncr eased hear t r at e,sweat i ng, shaki ng, t ense muscl es, and shor t ness of br eat h.

Now we exper i ence t he same r esponse when we are t hreatened t o l ose aj ob, t o end r el at i onshi p, t o l oose money or proper t y, et c. Logi cal l y,peopl e have t o avoi d t he si t uat i ons i n whi ch adr enal i n i s excessi vel ysecr et ed. I n r eal i t y, qui t e a l ar ge number of peopl e del i ber at el y


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cr eat e these si t uat i ons, when t hey get t he adr enal i n boost and f eelexci t ed.

I n f act , many peopl e vol unt ar y i ncr ease t he secr et i on of t headr enal i n, appar ent l y der i vi ng pl easur e f r om bei ng const ant l y st r essedout . They der i ve pl easur e f r om r unni ng on adr enal i n.

Some peopl e t hi nk t hat when t hey wor r y, t hey pr otect t hemsel ves f r om adi sast er . Ot her peopl e t hi nk t hey ar e havi ng a f ul f i l l i ng l i f e. Tor eward t hemsel ves and r el ax t hey st art pr act i ci ng subst ance abuse:f ood, al cohol , t obacco, pot , dr ugs.

Event ual l y, t hi s l i f e st yl e causes adr enal depl et i on and many heal t hcondi t i ons rel at ed t o i t : anxi et y, depr essi on, f at i gue, obesi t y,i nsomni a, di gest i ve and r epr oduct i ve/ sexual pr obl ems, var i ousaddi cti ons.

Dopami ne i s a hormone of achi evement . Thi s hormone i s secr et ed by t he

pi t ui t ary gl and when you get an award, pr omot i on or s i mi l ar . Hi ghachi ever s become dependant on t hi s hormone whi ch t hey usual l y secr et et ogether wi t h adr enal i n. What happens when a hi gh achi ever f ai l s?Depr essi on i s sur e to come wi t h al l t he consequences.

Oxyt oci n i s a hormone secr eted by t he pi t ui t ar y gl and and al so by t heovar i es. When we pr act i ce sel f car e, sel f accept ance and f eel saf e andl ovabl e, we secr et e oxytoci ne.

My mai n t ask i s t o teach my cl i ent s t o f eel saf e and l ovabl e tosecr et e oxyt oci n and f eel mor e sel f accept i ng and cont ent .

Ser ot oni n i s al so i nt ensel y i nvol ved i n r egul at i ng t he mood. Ser ot oni ni n one of t he key neur ot r ansmi t t ers secr eted by the hypothal amus. Lowl evel of ser ot oni n i s l i nked t o depr essi on. Nor mal r at e of ser ot oni nhel ps you f eel cal m and cont ent .

Mel atoni n i s t he hor mone whi ch r egul at es bi orhyt hms. To have a goodsl eep the pi neal gl and has t o secrete more mel atoni n. To secret e moremel at oni n you need t o pr act i ce posi t i ve t hi nki ng and st ar t t aki ng mor esel f care.

So, t her e ar e hormones l i ke adrenal i n and dopami ne whi ch make you f eelmore anxi ous. There i s oxyt oci n; ser otoni n and mel atoni n whi ch makeyou f eel cal m and more content . You may not be bot hered by t hei r

names, j ust r emember you need to i ncrease your t i me f or sel f care andr el axat i on.

When you are l i st eni ng t o the hypnot her apy CD, you have a mi nihypnot her apy sessi on. Rel axat i on as part of i t . When you al l owyour sel f t o be r el axed, you secret e oxyt oci n, ser ot oni n, andmel at oni n. My cl i ent s al ways t el l me t hey st ar t yar ni ng and f al lasl eep bef or e the end of t he recor di ng. Thi s i s a sur e si gn t hat t hesemood enhanci ng hor mones have been rel eased. When you l earn how t o


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encour age t he secret i on of t hese upl i f t i ng hor mones, you canef f ect i vel y handl e your anxi et y.

( Read more about br eat hi ng t echni ques and pr ogr essi ve muscl er el axat i on i n Par t I V Sel f hel p st r at egi es and t ool s. )

4. I have hear d t hat benzodi azepi nes have many si de ef f ect s. I s t herenat ur al al t er nat i ves?

Your nat ur opat h can r ecommend you some al t er nat i ves. Cl i ni calpsychol ogi st s r ecommend 5HT t o hel p sl eepi ng di st ur bances. Thi snat ur al medi cat i on hel ps t o i ncrease t he l evel of ser ot oni n i n t hebr ai n. Serot oni n i s a mood enhancer .

Cl i ni cal psychol ogi st s say i t i s a good al t er nat i ve f or t hoseconcer ned about addi ct i ve pot ent i al and t he si de ef f ect s of t hebenzodi azepi nes and ot her dr ugs.

Remember sel f hel p st r at egy:My sel f - t al k behavi or s st r ongl y i nf l uence my l evel of st r ess. I usesel f - hypnosi s t o l ower my counterpr oduct i ve 90 t o a more manageabl eand hel pf ul 45.

100 maxi mum anxi et y ver y unhel pf ul90

807060

50 moderat e403020100 no anxi et y ( unr eal i st i c)

0 25 50 75 100___________________________________________________________no anxi ety mi l d anxi ety moderate anxi ety ext r eme anxi ety mostever

5. Why do I al ways wor r y about my heal t h?

Fi r st of al l , some peopl e have speci f i c br ai n wi r i ng. Somet i mes, br ai nst r uct ur es ar e t i ed t o t he al ar m syst em di f f er ent l y. Somet i mes, t hepr i mordi al f ear t hat hel ped human bei ngs t o sur vi ve i n t he St one Agecoul d be st i l l ver y st r ong. Nowadays, t he per son who has t hi s brai nst r uct ur e may be exagger at i ng the r i sk and danger.

Hypochondr i as i s a di sor der wher e someone f ear s devel opi ng concerni nga dr eaded di sease. Besi des f ear , t here may be a l ack of at t ent i on t he


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per son i s suf f er i ng i n t he f ami l y. I t i s common f or such peopl e toseek medi cal at t ent i on and mi si nt er pr et har ml ess body sensat i on asi ndi cat i ve of ser i ous i l l ness. Despi t e t he accumul at ed evi dencesuggest i ng no danger ous i l l ness, t he hypochondr i ac doesn t consi derher bel i ef s as i r r at i onal . The f ocus can be so st r ong t hat t hey i gnor eot her aspect s of l i f e: r omant i c, vocat i onal , r ecreat i onal . These

aspect s of t hei r l i ves may be i n a shambl es, but t hey do not r ecogni zei t .My t ask as a t her api st i s t o make a cl i ent become aware of otheraspect s of l i f e and t o gi ve her / hi m st r at egi es r egar di ng cont ent mentf r om si mpl e t hi ngs: l ooki ng at a candl e f l ame, l i st eni ng t o medi t at i vemusi c, havi ng a hot bat h wi t h ar omatherapy, goi ng f or a wal k t ocol l ect f l ower s i n t he f i el ds, si ngi ng, danci ng, et c. et c. ( see q. 3about Hormones) .

6. I have al ways t hought t hat not worr yi ng about your f ami l y means t obe sel f i sh. Am I wr ong?

Ever yt hi ng i n moderat i on. When you st op t ext i ng your chi l dr en orr emi nd t hem of some si mpl e pr ecaut i ons, t hey know any way t hat youst i l l r emai n a l ovi ng and car i ng mother. Bel i eve me, you wi l l be muchmor e appr eci ated by your chi l dr en when you ei t her use posi t i vel anguage or r emai n si l ent . A l ot of words we use war ni ng your chi l dr enof danger , annoy t hem. They answer wi t h i r r i t at i on, and t hey arer i ght .

You wor r y because you get your adrenal hormone f r om wor r yi ng. You ar eaddi ct ed t o t hi s sensat i on and ar e r el uct ant t o get r i d of i tbecause you do not know anyt hi ng bet t er . ( Read quest i on 3) . I mean tosay you do not know how t o get cont ent ment f r omother act i vi t i es.Cr ack j okes wi t h your chi l dr en, meet t hemwi t h smi l es and l aught er andyou st art enj oyi ng oxyt aci n hormone of cont ent ment .

7. Do I need t o seek t r eat ment f or my wor r yi ng about my chi l dr en?

Thi s depends on t he ext ent of wor r yi ng. I f you f eel you can t st opwor r yi ng and i t causes you a gr eat deal of di st r ess and i nt er f er eswi t h your f ami l y, soci al l i f e, wor k and r ecreat i onal acti vi t i es, t henyou need some hel p.

I n my exper i ence, about si x sessi ons of cogni t i vebehavi or al t her apyand hypnot her apy gi ve si gni f i cant r esul t s. Peopl e f eel as i f agi gant i c wei ght has been l i f t ed f r om t hei r shoul der s. They enj oy t he

benef i t s of f r eedom f r om wor r yi ng.

8. I s i t nor mal t o worr y about what peopl e thi nk of me?

We l i ve i n a soci al wor l d, and i nt er act i on wi t h ot her peopl e i s vi t al .Nat ur al l y, we want other peopl e ( especi al l y those who r epr esent yourgr oup of r ef er ence f ami l y member s, col l eagues, nei ghbor s, f r i ends)t o t hi nk wel l of us. Get t i ng al ong wi t h peopl e who sur r ound you makesyou f eel good.


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The probl em ar i ses when your dependence of ot hers opi ni ons becomesver y st r ong.

Most of our wor r i es can be t r aced t o our chi l dhood. I f your mot her wascol d, r ar el y or never pr ai sed you f or your smal l but si gni f i cant chi l d

achi evement s, you, pr obabl y, got used t o pl ease her, t o seek herappreci at i on and depend on her mood and opi ni on.

I n adul t l i f e, you may be engaged i n a t hi nki ng mi st ake known as mi ndr eadi ng. You assume t hat you know what t he other person i s t hi nki ng ofyou. You may st ar t def endi ng your sel f .

You may f eel ver y upset when you t hi nk t hat somebody doesn t l i ke you.Ask your sel f a quest i on: do you l i ke ever ybody you meet i n your l i f e?No, of cour se not . You ar e not obl i ged t o be l i ked l i ke a gol den coi n.

Gi ve your sel f cr edi t f or your st r engt hs and pr act i ce sel f accept ance.

Sel f accept ance i s t he key not i on i n my t herapeut i c pr act i ce. Maybe90% of wor k I do wi t h cl i ent s, r egar ds i ncreasi ng sel f accept ance.

Excessi ve worr i es ar e caused by t wo mai n reasons: l ack of saf et y andl ack of sel f l ove. As soon as you f eel saf e and accept your sel fconsi der i ng your sel f l ovabl e, you become l ess and l ess dependent onot her s.

9. My parent s al ways wor r i ed about money. I t end t o worr y t oo. Does i tmean t hat I wi l l be a wor r i er f or t he r est of my l i f e?

No, i t doesn t . Your quest i on t est i f i es t o t he f act t hat you ar e awar eof your excessi ve worr y and you cor r ect l y t r ace t he cause t o yourchi l dhood. Sel f awar eness i s t he most i mpor t ant st ep t owar ds sol vi ngt he pr obl em. St i l l , act i on i s needed. How much t i me and ef f or t are yougoi ng t o i nvest i n t he sol ut i on? When ar e you r eady t o st ar t ?

As you have l ear ned, Cogni t i ve Therapy means t her apy rel ated t ot hi nki ng. What was t he at t i t ude t owards money i n your f ami l y? Moneyi s har d t o earn, Money i s not enough, Money has t o be rat i oned,Money has t o be saved f or a rai ny day, We ar e not a Rockef el l erf ami l y t o af f or d t hi s i s i t f ami l i ar t o you?

Thi s i s t he psychol ogy of povert y. The peopl e who pract i ce i t may bepoor , may be average, and may have means beyond aver age. The

psychol ogy of povert y doesn t depend on t he amount i n your account . I nf act , i t i s never enough f or you when you pr act i ce t hi s t ype oft hi nki ng.

Peopl e who worr y about money l i ve i n t he Pr i son of negat i ve t hi nki ng.They al ways t el l t hemsel ves t hat somet hi ng mi ght happen and t hey of t encat ast r ophi se t he event s. Accor di ng t o t he l aw of at t r act i on, t henegat i ve expect at i ons at t r act negat i ve ener gy f or m t he Uni ver se and


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peopl e wi t h negat i ve t hi nki ng ver y of t en l ose money i n some f i nanci alcompani es, or si mi l ar .

The Uni ver se r esponse i s l i ke t hat : you don t use money f or yourcomf or t ( comf or t abl e house, t r avel i ng, l ei sur e, heal t h, f i t ness, et c),t hen you do not need t hi s money.

I magi ne somebody who bought f i ve pr oper t i es dur i ng thei r l i f et i me,worki ng har d and never had a pr oper hol i day. Now t hi s person compl ai nst hat he l ost $100, 000 wi t h EQC eval uat i ons wi t h each house. He l ost$500, 000 a hal f a mi l l i on dol l ar s. I n my vi ew, he l ost much more. Hel ost al l t he oppor t uni t i es t he money coul d have gi ven hi m. He hasnever enj oyed r eal f r eedom t hat comf or t abl e money gi ves.

Money i s ener gy. Li ke ever y t ype of ener gy, i t needs ci r cul at i on. You,probabl y, know peopl e who t r eat money l i ke energy. The mor e moneyt hey spend on heal t h, f i t ness, appear ance, t r avel i ng, pr esent s f or t hef ami l y, di ni ng out , books, concer t s, et c. t he mor e money t hey recei ve

f r om var i ous sour ces. These peopl e r adi at e posi t i ve ener gy ofconf i dence and cont ent ment and they are easi l y pr omot ed.

Money gi ves f r eedom. Do you use t he money t o expand your f r eedom or doyou save i t f or a r ai ny day? What hor mone does your savi ng money t endt o secr et e: adr enal dopami ne, oxi t ocyn? What i f you st ar t t hi nki ng ofmoney i n a posi t i ve way: Money i s comi ng t o me f r om var i ous sour ceson a cont i nuous basi s.

Thi s i s t he af f i r mat i on you may r epeat t en t i mes a day, breat hi ng i nconf i dence and secur i t y. I n a week, you wi l l not i ce t he di f f er ence. I nni ne weeks, your per cept i on of your abundance and pr osper i t y wi l lsi gni f i cant l y change. Li f e i s onl y 10% of what we do and 90% of whatwe t hi nk of i t .

10. Does bei ng a per f ect i oni st af f ect anxi et y?

Yes, i t does. Per f ect i oni st t endenci es can cont r i but e t o f eel i nganxi ous. I n ot her wor ds, i t i s f ear I am not good enough. I f youbel i eve t hat ever yt hi ng you do must be perf ect , you f eel anxi ousbecause nobody can do ever yt hi ng per f ect l y. Peopl e can st r i ve f orexcel l ence, but when we demand per f ect i on, we set our sel ves up f orpr obl ems.Per f ect i oni st peopl e t end t o t hi nk bl ack and whi t e. Per f ect i oni sm can

be t r aced back t o chi l dhood. Her e i s an exampl e of per f ect i oni sm

cr eat ed i n chi l dhood. The f at her want ed a son t o be bor n, but t he gi r lwas bor n. She f eel s her f ather s expect at i ons, even t hough no wordsar e spoken i n t hi s r espect . The gi r l t r i es t o do many j obs t hat boysnor mal l y do: she i s per f ect handl i ng a saw, or a hammer , or a dr i l l .She excel s i n academi c subj ect s, or i s a successf ul busi ness woman, orshe successf ul l y makes her car eer . What ever t he si t uat i on i s, t hi sgr oup of women measur e t hei r l i ves wi t h t he yardst i ck of achi evement s.When t hey achi eve, t hey secr et e more dopami ne hor mone. When t hey f ai l ,t hey f al l i nt o depr essi on.


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The sad t hi ng about per f ect i oni sm i s t hat i t keeps you i n a def i ci tsi t uat i on. I magi ne somebody who st ar t s wi t h a cl ean sl ate and seei ngeveryt hi ng, she accompl i shes as a geni us. She i s pr oud of her success.Now, you st ar t out at 100% expect at i on to succeed, and al l you see i swhat put you bel ow t hi s. When you not i ce t he def i ci t , you become

anxi ous, because you ar e not meet i ng your unr eal i st i c expect at i ons.

Remember: everyt hi ng i n moderat i on. Peopl e who have gr eat vi si onsusual l y tend t o achi eve gr eat t hi ngs. But woul d you l i ke t o achi eve att he expense of cal mness and cont ent ment ? At t he expense of r el axat i on?At t he expense of some heal t h condi t i ons?

Your t herapi st wi l l hel p you l earn a new ski l l i f you wi sh: t he ski l lof r el axat i on. Bei ng a per f ect i oni st , you t ear your sel f down f or whatyou haven t per f ect ed. When you deci de enough i s enough, l i st en t ot he CD Rel axat i on. St r ess and anxi et y rel i ef . Some si mpl e exer ci seswi l l al so hel p you t o enj oy your achi evement s more and have more

l ei sur e and pl easur e i n your l i f e. ( Read par t I V f or mor e sel f - hel ptool s) .

11. Ar e pr ocr ast i nat i on and anxi et y r el at ed?

Yes, t hey ar e r el at ed i n sever al ways. I ni t i al l y, when you f eelanxi ous about t he task, you may del ay doi ng i t . I f you have t hought sI t i s t oo har d . I l l never do i t wel l enough. You ar e anxi ous andyou del ay, f ear i ng what needs t o be done. Once you ve pr ocrast i nat edf or a whi l e and a deadl i ne appr oaches, you may f eel more anxi ous. Thet hough I wi l l never f i ni sh i t i n t i me . Makes you anxi ous, not t hef act t hat t he work has not been f i ni shed. You may change your t hought st o mor e r eal i st i c ones: I have been assi gned t hi s wor k, so I can doi t . I t wi l l be hel pf ul t o br eak the t ask i nt o smal l por t i ons andf ocus on j ust t he pi ece you are wor ki ng on, r ather t han t he whol eproj ect .

12. I s i t possi bl e t o pr ocrast i nat e l ess?

Pr ocrast i nat i on i s a habi t t hat t akes har d wor k t o change, j ust l i keot her habi t s. Changi ng pr ocr ast i nat i on behavi or i ncl udes changi ng your

t hi nki ng and act i ons.

Pract i ce t he thought s t hat can hel p you.

I t i s bet t er f or me t o do i t now t han l at er . I t s har d, but not t oo har d. I t s bet t er t o go ahead now.

Behavi or s: t ake act i on f or f i ve mi nut es.


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I f t her e i s somet hi ng you desper at el y do not want t o do, gi ve your sel ff i ve mi nut es t o wor k on the task. At t he end of f i ve mi nut es deci de:Can I keep wor ki ng on i t or am I goi ng t o come back to thi s l at er ?

Peopl e who pr ocr ast i nat e f i nd themsel ves f eel i ng ver y anxi ous or

st r essed many t i mes i n t hei r l i ves.

A woman, who i s a home- st ayi ng mum, once asked me: I procr ast i nat ewi t h domest i c chor es. I nst ead, I l i ke t o wat ch TV. Can your t her apyhel p me?

Cogni t i vebehavi oral t her apy can al ways hel p. The woman i s aware ofher r esponsi bi l i t i es. She knows her husband i s di scont ent , butwat chi ng TV i s her habi t . I t i s pr obabl y an obsessi ve habi t whi ch hasdevel oped because some of her emot i onal needs ar e not met . Whi ch ones?I t may be sel f r eward. She knows she deserves some t i me f or her sel fand she chooses t o watch TV, mai nl y f i l ms about cr i mes. Wat chi ng

cr i mes she secretes adr enal i ne. Some peopl e l i ke t o r un on adr enal i nebecause i t makes them f eel t hei r l i f e i s f ul f i l l i ng. The pr obl em i st hat adr enal i ne depl et i on comes sooner or l at er . Thi s heal t h condi t i onaf f ect s i nt er nal or gans and causes f at i gue.

The t herapi st can mot i vat e t he cl i ent t o t r y a new t ype of sel f r ewar dj ust f or a mont h. Combi ned wi t h some ot her exer ci ses, i t usual l y wor ksand peopl e gr adual l y change t hei r undesi r abl e habi t s. I t i s easy t ol earn t o secret e oxyt oci ne and be i nvol ved i n some pl easur abl eact i vi t i es. Humor and l aught er hel p a l ot . Laught er yoga hel ps manypeopl e. I r ecommend Ha exer ci se whi ch I l earnt i n 1995 i n I ndi anashr am.

13. Can anxi et y make me angr y?

Yes, i t can. Peopl e who st r uggl e wi t h anxi et y of t en ar e shor t oft emper .

Anxi et y makes your muscl es t ense and i ncr eases i r r i t abi l i t y. I gi ve atl east 3 4 exer ci ses t o do on a dai l y basi s 10 t i mes a day. Eachexerci se r equi r es onl y a mi nut e and hel ps t o rel ease anger andt ensi on. One of t he f our exer ci ses i s i magi ni ng your anger as adi sgust i ng i nsect . You can st ar t your mor ni ng wi t h t ur ni ng on

upl i f t i ng musi c and crushi ng t he i nsect ( spi der , mosqui t o, et c) underyour heel . Al l t he benef i t s, t ogether : good mood, physi cal movement ,r el easi ng negat i ve t ensi on, f eel i ng bet t er about your sel f .

14. A par t of me thi nks my part ner s cheat i ng on me. I worr y about i tal l t he t i me. What can I do t o r esol ve t hi s anxi et y?


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To f i nd out i f you ar e i magi ng t hi ngs, ask your sel f t he f ol l owi ngquest i ons, and be honest wi t h your sel f .

Do I have evi dence? I f I ask my par t ner and he says no, wi l l I bel i eve hi m?

I f I hi r e a pr i vat e det ecti ve t o det er mi ne i f t her e i s an af f ai rand t he detect i ve says no, woul d I bel i eve hi m?

I f your answers show t hat even i f you do not have subst ant i al evi denceand i f t he part ner woul d deny i t and a detect i ve woul d f i nd noevi dence, you woul d st i l l wor r y t hen your wor r y i s excessi ve.

J eal ousy can be t r aced t o chi l dhood. Peopl e who ar e j eal ous wer e,pr obabl y, abandoned by t he mot her i n chi l dhood. Even i f t hey had t hemot her , t hey were scar ed she mi ght di sappear because she di d not showst abl e and consi st ent car e.

Thi s ki nd of wor r y under mi nes t he r el at i onshi p and mi ght even dest r oyi t . The t her apy i s necessary. I n t he web page about Conf l i ctr esol ut i on and r el at i onshi ps, you may see t he bear s huggi ng eachot her . Yes, huggi ng has t her apeut i c val ue and you may st ar t st r ai ghtaway. There ar e many ot her st r at egi es your t herapi st can do f or youf or ef f ecti ve r esol vi ng t he i ssue.

15. I amconst ant l y worr yi ng about my daught er s school per f ormance.What can I do to make her work harder ?

You have t o accept you can t cont r ol ot her peopl e s behavi or . Even i ft he person i s your daughter . You can t make her do somet hi ng. You canonl y set up a syst em of i ncent i ves i n r egar ds t o her school wor k.

I n my cl i ni c, I of t en meet peopl e who want t o cont r ol t hei r spouses orchi l dr en. Ever y t i me I gi ve t hem my CD What i s i n your cont r ol ? whi chconveys t hi s message you can cont r ol onl y your t hi nki ng and act i ng.

Remember: l i f e i s onl y 10% of what we do and 90% of what we t hi nk ofi t . As soon as you change your percept i on of your daught er s schoolwor k, st ar t seei ng i t i n a br oader cont ext and st op bei ng anxi ousabout her achi evement s, your r el at i ons wi l l consi der abl y i mpr ove. Thati s sure to hel p her pr ogr ess at school . I t al so may set an exampl e toher : st ar t a cour se and excel i n i t .

16. I overeat when I am anxi ous. What can I do about t hi s probl em?

When you f eel anxi ous, i t i s nat ur al t o want t o f eel bet t er and t o getsome comf or t . However , i t i s probabl y no sur pr i se t o you that eat i ngt o f eel bet t er i s a shor t t er m gai n/ l ong t er m pai n opt i on. You getsome rel i ef i n t he moment by t ast i ng f ood you enj oy, but over t i me,you devel op a habi t t hat i s t ough t o br eak and you gai n more wei ghtt han you woul d l i ke. To i mpr ove t hi s pr obl em, keep i n mi nd t hat j ust


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f eel i ng anxi ous i sn t enough to get you to over eat . Many peopl e can teat at al l when t he exper i ence anxi et y.

How do you r espond t o f eel i ng anxi ous? I f you t el l your sel f I can tst and i t . And r un t o t he r ef r i ger at or , t hi s r esponse i s unt r ue andnot hel pf ul . You onl y i ncr ease negat i ve emot i ons.

Mor e accur at e and hel pf ul r esponses woul d be: I don t l i ke t he way If eel now, but I can st and i t . I need somet hi ng t o hel p me t o f eelbet t er , but I don t need i t t o be f ood.

What can hel p? Deep and sl ow di aphragmat i c breathi ng. My hypnosi s CDst ar t s wi t h t hi s br eat hi ng t echni que. I expl ai n about hol di ng t hebr eat h when you i nhal e f or f i ve seconds and when you exhal e f or f i veseconds. ( Read mor e i n par t I V about sel f - hel p st r at egi es) .

You ar e sure t o have many r esour ces t o make bet t er choi ces t han f ood:i nt el l i gence, sel f - di sci pl i ne, det er mi nat i on, t he desi r e t o be f i t and

t o l ook bet t er , et c.

Consi der t he f ol l owi ng opt i ons, i f you ar e r eady f or act i on.

Keep a f ood l og - i f you ar e not goi ng t o wr i t e i t down, do notal l ow your sel f t o eat i t ! Do not br i ng home f at t eni ng f oods or ones i n whi ch you are l i kel yt o i ndul ge. I woul d l i ke you t o f ocus on t hi s poi nt . We eat at homewhat we have bought .

Have a l i st of enj oyabl e act i vi t i es whi ch do not i ncl ude f ood.

- Li st eni ng t o pl easant musi c or a hypnotherapy CD.- Gi vi ng a hug t o someone i n t he f ami l y.- Cr af t work ( I advi se t o make a badge I am uni que, val uabl e andpr eci ous. I t wor ks! )- Taki ng a bubbl e bath.- J our nal i ng.- J oi ni ng a book cl ub.- Si ngi ng.- Danci ng.- Aski ng a spouse f or a back r ub.- Sex.- Yoga.- Ar r angi ng f l ower s.

- Goi ng t o a pl ay or spor t s event .- Wal ki ng i n pr et t y ar ea, et c. et c.

Make a si gn on t he f r i dge t hat al er t s you t o st op and t hi nk: ( Iamwor ki ng on t he manual speci f i cal l y desi gned t o hel p peopl e wi t hexcess wei ght t o change t hei r eat i ng habi t s) .

17. When do anxi ous peopl e usual l y come i n f or t r eat ment ?


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Here ar e some obser vat i ons:

A person havi ng a pani c at t ack of t en seeks t r eat ment i n response t oi t .

By cont r ast , peopl e wi t h obsessi ve compul si ve di sorder may go f oryears wi t hout seeki ng hel p, f eel i ng ashamed of t he pr obl em.

Peopl e wi t h gener al i zed anxi et y di sorder of t en accept t hei r wor r yi ngas nor mal . Onl y when t he body sympt oms st ar t t o ser i ousl y i mpai r l i f e( l i ke sl eep di sor der , i r r i t abl e bowel syndr ome, hi gh i r r i t abi l i t y andanger , et c) , t hey mi ght st ar t t hi nki ng of some hel p.Peopl e wi t h soci al phobi a may be f ear f ul about seeki ng hel p, as t heyar e f ear f ul doi ng t hi ngs i n f r ont of ot her s t hat wi l l accuse t hemhumi l i at i on. ( see quest i on about soci al phobi a) .

18. You have sai d t hat peopl e who come f or t r eat ment have 80% success

r at e. What happens t o t he ot her 20%?

Not al l peopl e who come f or t r eat ment ar e ready t o t ake r esponsi bi l i t yf or t hei r condi t i on and st ar t doi ng somet hi ng f or sel f car e. Theyexpect t he t her api st t o use a magi c wand and mi r acul ousl y gi ve t hemf r eedom f r om t hei r f ear , pani c at t acks or phobi as. The t her api st hasst r ategi es and t ool s t hat can be cal l ed magi c because t hey work whent he pat i ent const ant l y uses t hem wi t h the expect at i on of success. Butyou need a mi ni mum of si x sessi ons and mot i vat i on t o work bet ween t hesessi ons. ( I woul d r ef er you t o t he number one best sel l er The Ki ng sSpeech. Based on t he r ecent l y di scover ed di ar i es of Li onel Logue( 2011) Pl ease make a not e of how Ki ng Geor ge VI was worki ng at hi scondi t i on of f ear of publ i c speaki ng. Commi t ment l ed to success.

Some of my cl i ent s use Gr abone voucher s and expect t he undesi r abl ehabi t of di sappear i ng af t er one sess i on. For exampl e, somebody comescompl ai ni ng of sl eep di st ur bances t hat he/ she has been suf f er i ng f ort he l ast t hi r t y year s, but aggr avat ed r ecent l y by t he Febr uar year t hquake and t he l oss of t hei r pr oper t y. I s i t a r easonabl eexpect at i on f or a per son who suf f er s gener al i zed anxi et y di sorder ?

Thi s person r ef used t o l i st en t o my CD Sl eep wel l ever y ni ght whi chot her peopl e f ound ver y ef f ect i ve. He l ef t t he cl i ni c af t er t wosessi ons convi nced t hat hypnotherapy i s unabl e to hel p hi m. Why di dn the use t he opport uni t y t o creat e new neur al pathways i n hi s brai n and

event ual l y f or m a habi t avoi di ng r umi nat i ons? I wi l l t el l you why. I tsounds paradoxi cal , but peopl e who do not succeed ar e af r ai d ofchanges. Yes, changes are pai nf ul and t her e i s f ear t o l ose t he f ear .

Thi s group of peopl e can predi ct t he f ear and subconsci ousl y bel i evet he f ear pr ot ect s us. The consci ous, anal yt i cal mi nd under st ands Ineed t o seek hel p f or my condi t i on. But , t he subconsci ous mi nd i smor e powerf ul and has i t s own pat t erns: Your f ear and wor r i es pr otectyou f r om get t i ng worse. These ki nds of peopl e do not know how t odel i ber at el y secret e oxyt oci n, seat oni nm mel at oni n. They r un on


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adr enal i ne and dopami ne. My t her apy i s cl i ent or i ent at ed and I am abl et o t ake t he per son onl y as f ar as he/ she want s t o go.

Bei ng a sensi t i ve and congr uent t her api st , I t ake i t t oo cl ose t ohear t when somebody l eaves af t er one or t wo sessi ons. But , I amt hankf ul t o t hi s group of cl i ent s. They ar e chal l engi ng. They make me

const ant l y t hi nk what needs t o be done t o mot i vat e t hemt o f ocus ont he f ut ur e and have a cl ear vi si on of a smoot h j our ney t o t hedest i nat i on Cal mness , Conf i dence and Cont ent ment .

Wor ki ng wi t h peopl e who compl ai n of hi gh l evel s of st r ess or anxi etyor mi l d depr essi on, I ve r eal i zed t hey al l l ack one ver y val uabl eski l l posi t i ve expectancy.

Peopl e who ar e pr one t o depr essi on t end t o t hi nk t hey wi l l never havegood heal t h or good r el at i onshi ps, or a good j ob and f i nanci alsecur i t y. They pr oj ect t he past i nt o t he f ut ur e. But , how can one l ookf orward at t he same t i me l ooki ng backwards?

The r esearch done by psychol ogi st s have shown t hat i t not necessar y t oconst ant l y anal yse your past i n or der t o cr eat e a bet t er f ut ur e. Whati s r eal l y necessar y i s t he abi l i t y t o make wi se deci si ons t oday,ant i ci pat i ng t he consequences f or t omorr ow. Your choi ces arei mport ant . You can choose t o be a vi ct i m of some ci r cumst ances causi ngdepr essi on or you can choose t o t ake char ge of your l i f e and st ar tmaki ng deci si ons t oday and act di f f er ent l y t omor r ow. The past i s overand t he f uture has not happened yet . And I woul d l i ke t o encour age mycl i ent s t o f ocus on f eel i ng good and enj oy good r el at i onshi ps andf i nanci al stabi l i t y i n t he f ut ur e.

Besi des hypnot her apy, I t ook a cour se i n l i f e coachi ng i n or der t ol earn t he ski l l s as t o how t o mot i vat e anxi ous and depr essed peopl eper mi t t hemsel ves t o f ocus on t hei r st r engt hs and t o f eel good aboutt he f ut ur e. My t eachi ng ai d CD on sel f - hypnosi s i s cal l ed Focuson your St r engt hs and f eel Good.

19. Ar e st r ess, anxi et y and depr essi on rel at ed?

Yes, t hey ar e. Somet i mes, prol onged st r ess and anxi et y eventual l ycause depr essi on. Somet i mes, t here i s onl y a combi nat i on of anxi et yand depr essi on.

I pr ef er t o br eak thi s quest i on i nt o t wo f ol l owi ng quest i ons.

1. How i s st r ess and anxi et y r el at ed?2. How i s st r ess and depr essi on r el at ed?

1.

St r ess i s caused by exter nal pr essure whi l e anxi et y i s caused byi nt ernal pr essur e. The physi cal sympt oms of st r ess and anxi et y can bever y si mi l ar . Many peopl e use the wor d st r ess i nst ead of anxi et y.


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For exampl e, you are a f l i ght at t endant . Si nce you have got t en used t osecr et i ng adr enal i ne, you may t ake t he sensat i ons f or gr ant ed. I n yoursi t uat i on, t he thr eat of emer gency i s r eal . But , compel l ed t o copewi t h st r ess f or a number of year s, you may devel op depl et i on ofadr enal i ne whi ch i s a sympt om of anxi ety. A number of heal t h

condi t i ons can devel op r egar di ng di gest i on or f er t i l i t y.

As a concl usi on, we have t o admi t t hat st r ess and anxi et y ar e rel at ed.As soon as you r emove t he si t uat i on whi ch causes st r ess, t he anxi etycan be consi der abl y di mi ni shed.

2.

St r ess and depr essi on are rel ated as wel l . Suppose you ar e worki ng onsome r esear ch pr oj ect or di sser t at i on, or wr i t i ng a book, orr ehear si ng f or t he pi ano i nt er nat i onal compet i t i on. You ar e l i vi ngunder st r ess i mposed by t he deadl i ne and the natur e of compet i t i on.

You ar e r unni ng on adrenal i ne and dopami ne. And you ar e suf f er i ng t hel ack of oxyt oci n, serot oni n and mel at oni n because ther e i s no t i me f orsel f car e, enj oyabl e r ecreat i onal act i vi t i es, l aught er and pr opersl eep. What happens i f you do not get t he award? The depl et ed adr enalgl ands col l apse and you ar e down i n depr essi on.

Depr essed peopl e seek hel p i n medi cat i on. I t hel ps, but , medi cat i ondoesn t t each you pr obl em copi ng ski l l s. You can st ay on medi cat i onf or many year s suf f er i ng al l t he si de af f ect s you ar e awar e about . Youmay cont i nue t o pr oj ect negat i ve t hought s i nt o t he f ut ur e and notmovi ng f or war d i nt o a bet t er pl ace.

Depr essi on bl ows away t he sense of secur i t y. Peopl e f eel hel pl ess andhopel ess. They l ack adequat e resour ces t o cope wi t h l i mi t i ng bel i ef s.

Empowerment t he key not i on of CBT wi t h hypnosi s. Cogni t i vebehavi oralt herapy t ogether wi t h hypnosi s wi l l open t he door t o new perspect i vesand possi bi l i t i es i f you al l ow i t t o happen. Hypnosi s whi ch i s of t encal l ed gui ded r el axat i on t akes you away f r om t he demands andpr essur es of ever yday l i f e i n or der t o spend t he t i me wi t h your sel ff eel i ng comf or t abl e and empowered.

Hypnosi s i s l ar gel y sel f - hypnosi s. You al l ow ( or not al l ow) i t t ohappen.

I n my Opt i - Heal t h Cl i ni c, I t each sel f - hypnosi s and peopl e l eavef eel i ng sel f - rel i ant .

20. What wi l l happen i f I don t deal wi t h obst acl es t hat cr eat estress?


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Amazi ngl y, but you can st op i t by r emi ndi ng your sel f " I can st andt hese symptoms .

Two behavi or pat t er ns ar e i mport ant :

- Not t r yi ng t o st op, but handl e t he f ear s.

- Not f eel i ng l i ke a vi ct i m, but i n a posi t i on of handl i ng t hesympt oms. Your t hi nki ng i s supposed t o be: I t i s uncomf or t abl e, but Ican get t hr ough i t . The pani c at t ack i s onl y t empor ar y. Thi s i snot t he end of t he wor l d. I am not dyi ng. I can r i de i t out .

We l ear n t he posi t i ve t hi nki ng at hypnot her apy sessi ons.

Cl i ni cal psychol ogi st s r ecommend t eachi ng t he suf f er er t o br i ng onpani c at t acks. Yes, t he ski l l t o cont r ol pani c at t acks by br i ngi ngt hem on at your wi sh can be l ear nt ! What ski l l s can cogni t i vebehavi or al t her apy and hypnot her apy of f er t o a pani cky cl i ent ?

Dur i ng pani c at t acks, your sympat het i c ner vous syst em i s superact i vat ed. Thi s i s a f i ght or f l i ght r esponse t o some ci r cumst ancesyour body per cei ves as a real danger . But i t i s a f al se al ar m. And youneed t o remi nd your sel f t hat you ar e not l osi ng cont r ol of r eal i t y andyou can st and t he sympt oms you di sl i ke. One of t he most i mpor t antt hi ngs I t each Feel i ngs ar en t f acts.

The conf usi on, appr ehensi on and sense of unreal i t y ar e unpl easant .St i l l , peopl e can cont i nue t o dr i ve t he car or t al k at t he meet i ng.

Pani c at t acks wi l l not make you cr azy. Al l t he sympt oms you exper i encewer e or i gi nal l y desi gned f or pr ot ect i on ( muscl e t ensi on, chestt i ght ness, nausea, sweat i ng) . Deep and sl ow br eat hi ng hel ps you t ocal m down.

Peopl e wi t h anxi et y di sor der s and pani c at t acks are af r ai d t o get r i dof t hei r f ear s. Sounds par adoxi cal ? Not at al l . Your consci ous mi ndunder st ands t hat f ear s i mpai r and r est r i ct your l i f e. Yoursubconsci ous mi nd (and i t i s f ar more power f ul ) want s you to r emai ni n f ear i n or der t o be abl e t o pr ot ect your sel f . Your subconsci ousmi nd was pat t er ned i n chi l dhood ( or l at er af t er some di sast er ) t opr otect you keepi ng you al ways on t he al ert , expect i ng t hat somethi ngdangerous mi ght happen. Your subconsci ous mi nd i s worki ng wel l t osaf eguar d you i n a danger ous si t uat i on. The pr obl em i s t hat yoursubconsci ous mi nd can t cl ear l y di f f er ent i at e whet her t he danger i s

r eal or onl y per cei ved by you as bei ng r eal .

I s i t possi bl e t o paci f y your subconsci ous mi nd? Yes, i t can ber epr ogr ammed by you. You need t o address your i ssues wi t h commi t mentand r eal i sm t o make ef f or t s t o l ear n and pr act i ce new ski l l s.Remember , al l t he sympt oms i n a pani c at t ack are t he resul t of t hef i ght or f l i ght syst em ki cki ng i n t hr ough acti vat i on of t hesympathet i c ner vous syst em.


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The sympathet i c nervous syst em i s desi gned t o prot ect you. You have t ohandl e t he f act t hat your f i ght of f l i ght mechani sm i s r espondi ng t o al ot of f al se al ar ms. You can l ear n t o cope wi t h i t !

24. I don t l i ke t o t al k about my pani c at t acks because I m af r ai d ofbr i ngi ng one on. I s i t i mpor t ant t hat I get t r eat ment f or my pani c?

Yes, i t i s. You may have f r ee hel p f r om Anxi et y Cl i ni c. They hel p yout o become sel f aware.

I f pani c at t acks ar e l ef t unt r eat ed, t hey may cause many di f f i cul t i esi n l i f e:

An i ncr eased t endency t o use al cohol and other dr ugs f or copi ng. I ncr eased f i nanci al dependence on ot her s. An i ncreased f ear of dr i vi ng. Avoi di ng hobbi es, spor t s and ot her pl easur abl e act i vi t i es. A gr eat er r i sk of at t empt i ng sui ci de.

I t i s a good i dea t o di scuss your di sor der wi t h a t r ai nedpr of essi onal . Di scl osi ng concer ns t o a pr of essi onal of t en br i ngsr el i ef . Remember : Fear i s Fal se Evi dence Appear i ng Real . The ther api stwho was t r ai ned i n t r eat i ng pani c di sorder s i s sure t o f i nd someef f ect i ve ways t o manage your pani c.

The si mpl est but ef f ect i ve way: i magi ne t he scal e f r om 0 t o 10, whenyou ar e i n pani c. Suppose i t i s cl ose t o 9. Can you i magi ne the markmovi ng backwards? As soon as you succeed, t he pani c i s l ess and l esst hr eat eni ng. The other si mpl est way di aphr agmat i c br eathi ng. Thef i r st t hi ng I t each peopl e i s di aphr agmat i c br eat hi ng. Al most al l ofmy CDs st art wi t h a t wo mi nut e br eathi ng techni que and rel axat i on.( Read par t I V about sel f hel p t ool s) .

25. Does r el axat i on al ways hel p dur i ng pani c at t acks?

No, not al ways. For most peopl e, pr ogr essi ve r el axat i on and posi t i vei mager y ar e ver y hel pf ul .

For some peopl e suf f er i ng pani c at t acks, r el axat i on mi ght not behel pf ul . These peopl e ar e used t o runni ng on adr enal i ne. They havef ear of f ear . But , t hey have got t en used t o t hi s. Qui et t i me makest hemnervous. They ar e not used t o get t i ng the energy of cont ent mentf r om oxyt oci ne hor mone. They concent r at e on body sensat i ons expect i ng

a pani c at t ack.

26. My 25 year ol d daughter has pani c at t acks. She doesn t dr i ve andl i ves wi t h us. I of t en t ake her t o her appoi nt ment s. I s t hi s t he r i ghtt hi ng t o do?

I t i s har d t o answer t hi s quest i on wi t hout knowi ng t he dynami cs i n thef ami l y. I f you ask the quest i on you are pr obabl y annoyed wi t h heri nabi l i t y t o l earn t o dr i ve.


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Gi ve an honest answer t o t he quest i ons: What have you done t o hel p herwi t h t r eat ment s? Do you real l y want her t o l i ve separ at el y wi t h f l atmat es or you l i ke her t o be at home and you cont r ol her l i f e? I f youwant t o st op pr omot i ng her anxi et y sympt oms, you d bet t er mot i vat e hert o seek t r eat ment .

PART I I I

Underst andi ng your Phobi as

27. What i s t he di f f erence bet ween a f ear and a phobi a?

Fear may be reasonabl e. There i s some r i sk i nvol ved. ( For exampl e,seei ng a snake on t he porch of your house) .

Phobi a i s unr easonabl e. ( seei ng a phot o of a snake, spi der , et c. ) You know your f ear i s unr easonabl e and excessi ve, but , t heknowl edge doesn t r el i eve t he f ear . Your l i f e i s di sr upt ed by t he need t o avoi d t he f ear ed obj ect .

28. How do phobi as devel op?

A phobi a may devel op i n response t o t he f ol l owi ng ci r cumst ances.

1. Exper i enci ng a t r aumat i c event .2. Wi t nessi ng a t r aumat i c event . ( obser vat i onal l ear ni ng ormodel i ng) .3. Phobi as can devel op as a r esul t of t he br ai n pai r i ng cer t ai nst i mul i wi t h scar ed f eel i ngs, whi ch i s cal l ed condi t i oni ng.

Three t hemes under l i ne phobi as:

- Fear of i nj ur y, har m, deat h.- Fear of l osi ng cont r ol .- Fear of somethi ng st r ange and unexpect ed.

29. Ar e al l phobi as t r eat ed i n t he same way? I f so, what i s t hest andard t r eat ment ?

There ar e var i at i ons i n t r eat ment s but st i l l ever y t herapi st woul dr ecommend at some st age exposure ther apy, ei t her t hrough i magi ni ng t hef ear or i n vi vo. The benef i t s of r epeat ed exposur e of a f ear edst i mul ar pr oduced habi t uat i on, or desensi t i sat i on. Ever y t i me youpr act i ce i t wi t h your t her api st or by your sel f , your scor e on t heanxi et y scal e becomes l ess. Anxi ety woul d subsi de over t i me. There i san excel l ent r esear ch base t o suppor t i t whi l e par t i ci pat i ng i ncogni t i vebehavi or al t her apy wi t h t he hel p of hypnosi s.


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Hypnot her apy addr esses phobi as by repl aci ng t he associ at i on betweent he st i mul us and anxi et y wi t h f eel i ngs of secur i t y, cour age andconf i dence. NLP methods wi t h swi sh pi ct ures have pr oved t o beef f ect i ve wi t h phobi as.

30. I am af r ai d of dogs. How can I know i f I have a phobi a?

Some dogs i n some si t uat i ons can be threat eni ng and t he f ear i sr easonabl e. I f you ar e af r ai d of al l dogs i r r espect i ve of t he si ze andwi t h no t hr eat of at t ack, t hen your f ear i s i r r at i onal and may becal l ed a phobi a.

Peopl e wi t h phobi as exper i ence di st r ess when t hey f ace t he f ear edst i mul us. Thi s i s ant i ci pat or y anxi et y. Phobi as are char act er i zed byavoi dance of t he f ear ed obj ect . I f you avoi d vi si t i ng f r i ends who havedogs, cogni t i vebehavi or al t her apy wi l l hel p you t o obt ai ndesensi t i sat i on. St ar t l ooki ng at pi ct ur es of dogs. Wat ch pet dogs.

Look at a dog st andi ng at t he end of t he park, watch i t sl owl yappr oachi ng you. Ever y t i me t r y t o make t he di st ance smal l er unt i l youf eel t ot al l y cal m i n t he pr esence of t he dog.

31. I have power st r uggl es wi t h my son who doesn t want t o go toschool . He seems r eal l y af r ai d. What shoul d I do?

Focus on i nvest i gat i ng what i s dr i vi ng your son s behavi or t o ref uset o go t o school .

Fi gur e out what your chi l d i s af r ai d of . Tal k about i t when youar e bot h r el axed. Chi l dr en have di f f er ent f ear s: of t eacher yel l i ng att hem, of a test , of not seei ng mother t he whol e day, et c. Wat chphysi cal sympt oms of anxi ety. Make i t easy f or school per sonnel t o hel p your chi l d l et t hemknow how much you val ue t hei r assi st ance. Tr y a gr adual appr oach br i ng t he chi l d onl y f or par t of t heday. Spend some t i me i n t he school gym bef ore goi ng t o school . ( Somechi l dren l i ke t hi s ) . Provi de t he chi l d encour agi ng not es and phot os t hat l et t hemknowyou ar e t hi nki ng of hi m. Teach t he chi l d deep br eat hi ng and r el axat i on. I t i s r ecommendedt o do i t bef or e goi ng t o school . I ncr ease your chi l d s mot i vat i on wi t h r ewar ds. Fol l ow t he r ewar d

menu pr edi ct abl y and consi st ent l y.

32. What i s soci al phobi a?


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Some peopl e devel op an i nt ense f ear of embar r assi ng and humi l i at i ngt hemsel ves i n publ i c. Thei r anxi ety maybe over whel mi ng. Peopl e wi t hsoci al phobi a ( or soci al anxi et y di sor der ) may suf f er i n suchsi t uat i ons, as:

Eat i ng i n publ i c.

Tal ki ng t o a boss. Dat i ng. Usi ng publ i c r est r ooms. Goi ng t o par t i es.

I f you undergo soci al phobi a, you may be i magi ni ng t hat peopl e ar oundyou cr i t i c i se you. Ext r eme sel f cri t i c i sm i s t ypi cal f or peopl e wi t hsoci al phobi a.

The cause of soci al phobi a. I f t he chi l d wi t nesses an al ways anxi ousmot her who humi l i ates hi m/ her f or some mi st ake, t he chi l d i s sur e t ohave some anxi ety pr obl ems l at er .

For t unat el y, cogni t i vebehavi or al t her apy and hypnot her apy ef f ect i vel yhel ps peopl e who suf f er f r om sel f cri t i ci sm and f ear t o be cri t i ci zed.

The t herapi st wi l l wor k on i ncr easi ng your sel f - acceptance l evel andsel f - r ecogni t i on. Ther e i s mor e t han 80% success r at e i f a cl i ent hasat l east si x sessi ons and commi t t ed t o do exer ci ses and l i st en t o t heCD bet ween t he sessi ons. I have been observi ng some young peopl eget t i ng r el i ef , enj oyi ng f r eedom f r om soci al phobi a, bei ng abl e t oar r ange t hei r l i ves accor di ng t o t hei r t ast e.

Par t I V

Sel f - hel p Tool s and Techni ques

I n t hi s sect i on of E- book, you wi l l f i nd var i ous t echni ques t hat canbe used bot h f or gener al anxi et y, pani c at t acks and phobi as.

I f you had a cour se of cogni t i vebehavi or al t her apy, counsel i ng,hypnot her apy, l i f e coachi ng or si mi l ar , t hi s Manual i s st i l l ver yef f ect i ve f or your sel f gr owt h and your j our ney t o t he dest i nat i on:Cal mness. Conf i dence. Cont ent ment . Sel f gr owt h i s an act i vi t y f orl i f e. The onl y human act i vi t y, i n my vi ew, where never enough i s


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appr opr i at e and benef i ci al f or your wel l - bei ng. Sel f hel p t echni ques Iam descr i bi ng i n t he sect i on ar e desi gned t o change you ener get i cal l y.

Yes, your posi t i ve energy wi l l be growi ng and negat i ve energy wi l l bedecr easi ng.

For exampl e, i f you had l i ved wi t h t he f ear of bei ng cr i t i ci zed and

r i di cul ed, t hat wi l l have est abl i shed cer t ai n ener gy, namel y pat t er nsof t hi nki ng, speaki ng, wal ki ng, maki ng deci si ons, and r el at i ng. I t hasbeen r esearched t hat your pat t er ns of br eat hi ng and eat i ng mani f estt he energy. There i s an i nt i mate l i nk between t he br eat h and t heemot i ons, and ever yone unconsci ousl y uses t he br eat h t o r egul at e t heemot i ons. So we shal l st ar t l ear ni ng copi ng ski l l s wi t h di aphr agmat i cbr eat hi ng.

Di aphr agmat i c br eat hi ng i s al so cal l ed st omach br eat hi ng. When youi nhal e, you push your st omach out f or f i ve seconds and t hen exhal e,hol di ng f or f i ve seconds and pul l i ng your t ummy i n.

Your breat h i s cont i nuousl y r espondi ng t o al l t he passi ng emot i ons.

Nor mal br eat hi ng r at e i s ei ght t o si xteen br eat hs per mi nut e.

When you have a pani c at t ack, you t end t o do thi r t y br eat hs permi nut e.

Wi t h sl ow di aphr agmat i c br eat hi ng, you do onl y si x br eaths per mi nut e.

Why i s i t i mpor t ant ? The br eath i s r espondi ng t o t he emot i ons youf eel . As soon as you f eel f ear f ul , st ar t del i ber at el y br eat hi ng deepl yand sl owl y. Your emot i ons st ar t changi ng: Yes, I am pani cky, but Ican st and i t . I have t he copi ng ski l l s; I l i ke t o br eat he deepl y andsl owl y .

Di aphr agmat i c Br eat hi ng i s a t ool t o cor r ect unnecessary overbr eat hi ng and pr omote bal ance i n the oxygen and carbon di oxi de l evel si n your bl ood.

Di aphr agmat i c br eat hi ng i s t he f i r st t echni que that I t each peopl e i nmy Opt i - Heal t h cl i ni c. Ever y hypnot herapy CD of mi ne st ar t s wi t hdemonst r at i ng di aphr agmat i c br eathi ng f or a mi nut e.

Yes, you may choose t o make t he habi t t o st op doi ng what you ar e doi ngand st ar t br eat hi ng. Take t hr ee deep sl ow br eat hs, dr i nk a gl ass of

pur e water and r epeat your f avor i t e af f i r mat i on. Read bel l ow aboutt hi s r i t ual .

Progr essi ve Muscl e Rel axat i on. I n any book about sel f gr owt h, you wi l lf i nd t he descri pt i on of t he benef i t s of pr ogr essi ve muscl e rel axat i on.When you ar e anxi ous, your muscl es are t ense. ( That i s why anxi ous anddepr essed peopl e of t en have back pai n) . When you l ear n t o rel ease t het ensi on of t he muscl es, t he t wo di vi si ons of t he aut onomi c ner voussyst em become bal anced. One i s t he sympathet i c and acts l i ke gas i n


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t he car , t he ot her i s t he par asympat het i c, and act s l i ke t he br akei n t he car .

I f you ar e an anxi ous per son pl us prone t o pani c at t acks or havephobi as, you run on adr enal i ne ( see quest i on 5) and pr ess on gas.

You depl et e your adrenal i ne gl ands, f eel t i r ed and suf f er some pai ns

and ai l ment s. Your post ur e i s not cor r ect , t he shoul der s are bent andt hi s cr eat es a vi c i ous ci r c l e.

How ser i ous i s your det er mi nat i on t o make sel f car e your pr i or i t y? I fI ask you to assess your r eadi ness on t hi s scal e.

0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 10

Where i s i t now?

What are your goal s f or t hree mont hs? Ar e your goal s set aboutr el easi ng your t ensi on and cont r ol l i ng your wor r i es? I f yes, you may

l i ke t o obt ai n a CD about Rel axat i on and st ar t l i st eni ng t o i t ever yday at l east f or t wo to thr ee mont hs.

On t he back cover of my CD Rel axat i on, St r ess and Anxi ety Rel i ef ,you may read about new neural pat hways cr eat ed i n dur i ng ni ne weeks.New desi r abl e habi t s wi l l be creat ed t hat wi l l al l ow you t osuccessf ul l y cont r ol your anxi et y.

The Ri t ual . I have desi gned a r i t ual whi ch I advi se al l peopl esuf f er i ng f r om hi gh st r ess, anxi et y, pani c at t acks and phobi as.

The r i t ual consi st s of t hr ee el ement s: a gl ass of wat er , t wo t ot hr ee deep br eat hs, and your per sonal , pr esent , pr ogr essi ve, posi t i veaf f i r mat i on.

Exampl es

1. Ever y day I amf eel i ng more and more r el axed, conf i dent andcont ent .2. Every day I am f eel i ng more and more cont ent and pr oud of mysel f .3. Ever y day I am f eel i ng mor e and mor e i n cont r ol of my l i f e.

These ar e personal , present , posi t i ve and progress i ve af f i r mat i ons.

I f you don t make i t pr ogr essi ve, open mi nded and j ust say I am

r el axed. I nst ead of I am f eel i ng mor e and mor e rel axed, youcri t i cal consci ousness wi l l be pr ot est i ng and t he af f i r mat i on wi l l notwor k. Pl ease, f ol l ow my st r uct ur e and t hen your cr i t i cal mi nd wi l lal l ow you t o f eel r el axed.

Anxi ous peopl e usual l y t end t o be ext r emel y sel f cr i t i cal . They doubtt he i dea t hat t hey f eel cont ent . They pr oj ect t hei r negat i ve emot i onsi nt o t he f ut ur e: I wi l l never be abl e t o f eel r el axed, or I wi l l


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never be abl e t o sl eep t he whol e ni ght wi t hout waki ng up. Why not ?Because I have never had a good ni ght s sl eep bef or e.

I n t hi s case, I t el l t hem t he st or y about t he f ar mer who pl ant s, f orexampl e, beet r oot . To cut i t shor t : t he f ar mer doesn t come out ever yni ght t o check i f t he seeds are gr owi ng. The f ar mer i s absol ut el y sur e

t hat t he beet r oot wi l l gr ow at t he appr opr i at e t i me. I ki ndl y ask mycl i ent s t o vi sual i se the f ar mer and f eel t he same cer t ai nt y t he f ar meri s f eel i ng pl ant i ng t he beet r oot .

Ret ur ni ng t o t he r i t ual . To obt ai n t he best r esul t s, you need t of i nd t en mi nut es a day t o pr act i ce i t . Ar e you ready t o spend an ext r at en mi nut es f or your sel f - car e? I f yes, you combi ne i n one mi nut e: agl ass of pur e water, t wo to thr ee deep sl ow br eat hs ( di aphr agmat i cbr eat hi ng) and r epeat your af f i r mat i on ment al l y or out l oud. ( Thel at t er i s mor e ef f ect i ve) .

For a number of r easons, I wi l l not go i nt o det ai l s why two l i t r es of

pur e wat er ar e essent i al f or your wel l bei ng. Our br ai n i s 85% ofwat er, our body about 75 80% of water . Doct or F Batmanghel i dj , i nhi s book Body s many cr i es f or water has expounded what i l l nessesare pr ovoked and aggr avated by dehydr at i on. Pl ease, r ead t he book andmake your choi ce.

Wear t he badge, I am uni quel y val uabl e and pr eci ous, i n t he pur seand r egul ar l y l ook at i t . Thi s i s t he f i r st st ep t o empower ment .Cr eat i ng t he badge has a not i ceabl e i mpact on cogni t i ve and behavi orals k i l l s .

Keepi ng t he J our nal of Achi evement s.

The benef i t s of j ournal i ng as an ef f ect i ve sel f - hel p t ool have beenr esear ched and admi t t ed i n many psychot her api es. J our nal i ng r emai ns apower f ul t ool f or r ai si ng sel f est eem wi t h anxi ous peopl e who pr esentwi t h l ow assessment of per sonal val ue.

Sel f est eem r i ses when you not i ce your ski l l s i n l i vi ng. Her e ar e somecl ues as t o what you may wr i t e. I l i ked t he way I handl ed i t , Oneposi t i ve t hi ng I not i ced t oday , The best t hi ngs t hat happenedt hi s week were . . , What I am l ooki ng f orward t o tomorr ow . . .

I woul d advi se you t o order t hrough Fi shpond The Language of Let t i ngGo J our nal by Mel ody Beat t i e. Every day has a theme. Today i s t he14t h of August . I open t he j our nal and read the t heme Owni ng yourPower . I t i s about t he peopl e i n your l i f e who chal l enge or under mi neyour abi l i t y t o t r ust and car e f or your sel f . Hal f t he page i s l ef t f oryour own t hought s on t hi s subj ect .


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I st r ongl y r ecommend that everybody who i s on t he j our ney t o t hedest i nat i on: Cal mness. Conf i dence. Cont ent ment t o keep t he j our naland r egi st er your posi t i ve t hi nki ng.

The f ol l owi ng benef i t s of j ournal i ng have been proved bypsychol ogi st s:

Empower ment t hr ough t he gr owi ng abi l i t y of sel f - moni t or i ng. Lear ni ng f or esi ght ski l l s. Ref r ami ng. Ampl i f yi ng r esour ces. Ment al l y r ehear si ng desi r ed behavi or . Enhanci ng r esponsi bi l i t y. Assessi ng pr ogr ess.

HA Exer ci se. I l ear nt i t i n I ndi a i n Ashr am i n 1994. St ar t yourmorni ng wi t h Ha Exer ci se, and you pr ogr amme your day onl y f or

posi t i ve t hought s and emot i ons.

St and keepi ng your l egs wi de apart . Put your hands t ogether as i f youare goi ng t o chop wood and shout ent husi ast i cal l y wi t h l aught er HAand r epeat t wi ce.

Your movement s must be vi gorous, your voi ce st r ong and conf i dent . Your i di cul e your pr obl ems of t he day. They wi l l hi de away ashamed oft hei r i nsi gni f i cance and your conf i dence.

Therapeut i c Hugs. Gi vi ng and r ecei vi ng hugs promot es heal t h and wel lbei ng. A t her apeut i c hug says wi t hout wor ds: I shar e your f eel i ngs.Huggi ng hel ps t o meet such emot i onal needs as saf ety, secur i t y andt r ust . Huggi ng f or heal t h i s a mut ual l y heal i ng pr ocess. Pr act i ce t hemwi t h your f ami l y members and f r i ends.

A Sel f - Hypnosi s Recordi ng. Yes, you can cr eat e you own sel f - hypnosi sr ecor di ng. How benef i ci al i s t hat ? Dr Mi chael Yapko, cl i ni calpsychol ogi st and t he aut hor of t wo books t eachi ng about t r eat i ngdepr essi on wi t h hypnosi s expl ai ns why sel f - hypnosi s i s t he mostef f ect i ve t ool of personal empowerment . New neur onal connect i ons arebei ng cr eat ed when you l i st en to your r ecor di ng on a regul ar basi s.

Your r ecor di ng must be not l onger t han t en mi nutes. You st ar t wi t hbr eat hi ng and r el axat i on. Then, pr ovi de your per sonal , pr esent ,

posi t i ve vi sual i zat i on. I t may be t he descri pt i on of t he r el axi ngpl ace you l i ke best of al l . Then, pr ovi de your own per sonalsuggest i ons. ( Read pr ogr essi ve r el axat i on) .

On my webpage Hypnost ore, you wi l l f i nd CD Sel f - hypnosi s Tr ai ni ng.Focus on your St r engt hs and Feel Good. Li st en to t he sampl e of i t andemai l me i f you have quest i ons.


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I f you want t o l i st en t o your r ecor di ng whi l e dr i vi ng, cut of f t her el axat i on and l eave onl y sel f suggest i ons.

As a concl usi on, I want t o under l i ne t hat al l t hese t ool s andt echni ques are real l y f un t o do. They empower you maki ng you sel f -rel i ant and sel f - suf f i ci ent .

Gl ossary

Cogni t i vebehavi oral t herapy was devel oped i n t he 1960 s. Dr AaronBeck i s consi der ed t he pi oneer of cogni t i ve t her apy.

The basi c premi se of cogni t i ve t herapy i s t hat t he way we t hi nk aboutevent s i n our l i ves ( cogni t i ve) det er mi nes t he way we f eel about t hemand consequent l y our pat t erns of behavi or .

When you have a cour se wi t h a cogni t i vebehavi or al t her api st , hi s/ hermai n t ask i s t o make you awar e of your di st ort at i ve t hi nki ng andr ef r ame i t f or t he bet t er wi t h some exer ci ses.

Psychol ogi st s t est sel f awar eness. The t est I i ncl uded i n par t I VSel f - hel p t ool s and t echni ques has been devel oped on t he basi s ofCogni t i ve- Behavi or al t her apy.

Hypnot her apy i s t he t herapy wi t h t he use of hypnosi s. Hypnosi s i s anat ur al st at e t hat you exper i ence at l east t wi ce a day: bef or e youcompl etel y f al l asl eep at ni ght and bef ore you ar e compl et el y awake i nt he mor ni ng. I t i s cal l ed Al f a st at e. The r at e of br ai n waves i s l owert han when you are al ert , but , hi gher t han when you are asl eep. I n Al f ast at e, your cr i t i cal mi nd i s r est i ng and your subconsci ous i s f ocusedon t he posi t i ve suggest i ons of your t her api st or your own suggest i onst hat you may l i st en t o i f you have recor ded them.

Pract i ci ng cogni t i vebehavi or al Ther apy i n combi nat i on wi t h hypnosi si mmensel y i ncr eases t he ef f ect i veness of your sessi ons.


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