Thinking Differently About Difficult People Dewoun M. Hayes, CAP Elite Office Concepts, Inc. 1
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Thinking Differently About Difficult People
Dewoun M. Hayes, CAPElite Office Concepts,
Inc.1
Who?What?Why?How?
2
Who are “difficult” people?
3
Values/BeliefsPerceptionsBackground
What makes us different?DIVERSITY!!!
4
Prefrontal Cortex
Deep Limbic System
Basal Ganglia
Cingulate
5
6
Basal Ganglia - “speedometer”Functions
•Regulates feelings/emotions•Regulates motivation•Monitors body’s anxiety levels
7
Basal Ganglia - “speedometer”Hyperactivity
•Panic attacks•“Negaholics”•Low motivation•Conflict avoidance•Unable to handle stress•Nervousness
8
Cingulate - “gear shifter”Functions
•Ability to adapt to situations•Provides cognitive flexibility•Ability to see options•Ability to shift attention
9
Cingulate - “gear shifter”Hyperactive Mode
•Uncooperative – the instant “NO”•Argumentative•Unable to adapt to change•The perfectionist•Grudge holders•Worry warts
10
Deep Limbic System – “brain central”Functions
•Sets emotional tone•Modulates motivation•Promotes bonding•Stores emotional memories•Identifies important events
11
Deep Limbic System -Hyperactive Mode
•Moody•Negative thinking•Decreased motivation•Social isolation•Not admitting fault
12
Pre-Frontal Cortex – “Supervisor”Functions
• Attention span• Critical thinking• Impulse control• Judgment• Learn from experience• Problem solving• organization
13
Pre-Frontal Cortex -Hyperactivity
• Disorganization• Procrastinators• Poor judgment calls• Short term memory issues• unable to learn from
mistakes
14
Option #1:I QUIT!
15
UNEMPLOYED! 16
17
Option #2: Knock Some Sense Into Them
She will go
away soon!!
She will go away
soon!
Option #3 - Ignore18
Option #4:
Change YOUR
ATTITUDE!"Attitude is a little
thing that makes a big difference."
Sir Winston Churchill
19
Productive
Less StressProfessionalism
=YOU! 20
Acknowledge
Accept
Approach 21
The Steps to Attitude
Adjustment
I cannot change anyone’s personality, but I can change MY attitude!
I cannot change anyone’s personality, but I can change MY attitude!
I cannot change anyone’s personality, but I can change MY attitude!
22
Step #1: Acknowledge
23
Step #2: Acceptance
Acceptance is when a person agrees to experience a situation, to follow a process or condition
I am ok with who you are……
Don’t take it
personal!
99.5% of the time it’s NOT about
YOU! 24
Step#3: The Approach
25
26
Create an internal agenda!Identify a reason to interact with this individual
Determine a benefit of the interaction
Make it work to your advantage – Keep it short and simple!
27
Devise a solution!
28
I need to communicate
differently.
Adjust your communication
• Alter current communication method
•Use active listening skills
•Change level of communication
29
1. Micromanager2. “Negaholic”3. Unorganized/Procrastinator4. Non-communicative Boss5. Office Gossip6. The Perfectionist
Putting our attitude adjustment to use
Acknowledge Accept Approach
= Changed Attitude
“A” CHECKLIST
30
Harmonious, Diverse
Workplace31
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