SIMPLICITY-THEFORMULAFORSUCCESSFULCOMMUNlCAnONHave you ever felt
the frustrationofnot being abletosayexactlywhat
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ennounsandhuman-interest wordsper 100wordsofyour text,you can check
thedegree of humaninterest against thistable:Numberoj personal
rejUe1lCes per 100wordsVERY EASY 19 or moreEASY 14FAIRLYEASY
10STA!'1DARD 6PAIRLYDIFFiCULT 4DIFFICULT 3VEAYDIFFICULT 2
orlessThestandard of 6personal references per 100words Ufound, (or
instance, in(eaturearticles inpopular magazines.Veryeasyprose, for
instancelovestoriesin pulpmagazines,runstoabout20suchwords in 100:
that me:tns, everyfifthwordinsuch fictionrefers10 aperson. Very.
difficult scientificm:tterial, of course, maybewritten without
mentioning anypersons at all.EXERCISERewritetheresl of
thearticleonimpregnatedwood10thehum'tIlinlereststandardofTime(about
8 personalrefcrcncesper 100 words):The product developed
fromresearch begun by theU.S. Forest Products Laboralory.
Theimpregnatingma-terial, calledmetbylolurea. ismade
principallyfromtwocheap, plentiful chemicals-urea and
formaldehyde-which aresynthesizedfromcoal, air and water. In
theimpregnating process, wood is pressed and soaked inmethylolurea
solution, whichisconvertedbythewood',acids inlO hard, insoluble
resins. The wood becomesbrittle, but thisdisadvanlagecnn be
parliyoffset byim-pregnating only the oUier part of Ihe wood,
leavingaresilientcore.56 How'TO WRITE, SI'nAK, ANnTnrm: MORI!
EFFECTtVELYImpregnated wood is socheap and versatile that OnPont
claims it will compete with the much more expensiveplastics and
light metllis. Moreover, the processwill makeusablevast resourcesof
lillie-usedsoft woods-maples, poplars, gums. etc. The
impregnationprocesssimplifies the makingof veneers anu plywoods,
becausepressed and impregnated layers of wood need noglue.Chapter
SixLNEWORDSYou nowknowthe recipe for simplicity: talk about
peoplein short sentences wilh many root words. Here is an
easytrickfor killing these three birds with one stone: Useverbs.Let
me repeat thai: Use verbs.Nothing is as simple as a brief
three-word sentence thatfollows the paUern: somebodydoessomething.
Itistheverbthatgiveslife10 anysentence; it Iilerallymakes
thesentencegBut we have setn that in Chinese, the simplest of
alllanguages, there is no such thing as a verb (or noun
oradjective, (or that matter). How, then,
dotheChinesemaketheirsentences go?Well, lheexplanationissimple:
onewordineach sentenceserves, so to speak, as its motor; for
thisparticular sentence, it works as a verb. If a Chinese
says"Manbitedog." theword bite, otherwiseunclassified, servesas a
verb; that's why it has been putaftermanandbefore
doC.lnmodernEnglish, whichgets moreandmore "Chinese,"we do that all
the time and "appoint" a word to do verbservice by puning it in a
certain place in a sentence. Wecan say "Raise your (acc" or "Facc
your raise"; "Ship abook" or "Book a ship"; "Spot thecover" or
"Coverthe SPOI:'There is 00 question that each of lhesc sentences
has averbinit, andnoquestion whichis the verb.The point of all this
is, of course, that I amtalkinghereonly of those words that are
usedasverbs in11 senteoce. Theyarewhat thegrammarianscall
the"finiteactive verbforms"and theyaretheonlyones that have life io
them. Hearingof verbs. you probably think of passive participles
and infinitives and gerunds and all the other fancy vnrieties
thatbaveplagued your grammar-school days. Well, forget nboutthem:
for all practical purposestheyarenot verbs, bUInouns"58 HowTO
WRITI!, SPEAr, ANDTHINKMORE EpPEcnYELYor adjcctivcs-lifeless words
that won't makeyour scntcnccsmovc. The verbsyouwant tousearc
thosethat arcinactivebusiness doing verbwork; if you usc a verb in
the passivevoiccor makc 8 participlcor nounout of it, you havc
lostthe most valunble pari intheprocess: it's
likecookingvegc-tables andthrowingawaythe water withall
thevitaminsinit.If yougothrough anynewsp3per
ormagazineandlookforllctive, kickingverbs inthesentences, youwill
realizethat thislack of well-uscd "erbs is the main troublc with
modernEnglish writing. Almost all nonfiction nowadays is wriuenin a
SOrl of pale, colorless sauce of passives and
infinitives,motionlcssandflataspaper. Listcntotbis, for
instance(fromanessay byPaul SchreckerintheSaturday
Review):Maybethegradual actualizationof thissolidarityW:1Sthe
result of scientific and bence technological progrcsswhich caused
distances to shrink and required ever-exp3nding markets. But it is
a preconceived and en-tirely unwarranted idea to believe this
technologicalunification tohave beena primary cause, and hence
tooverlook the fact that its triumphant 3ppearanceon thcworldscene
would' not have been possible without theprior existence of a
potential world-civilization, TIleever-cxpandingsphereof influence
ofliteraturc, science,andworks of art, which rarclyrespccts
anynational orregional boundaries, cannot bc accountcd for by
theintroduction of faster :mdeasier means of communica-tionor bythe
improved tcehnological mcthods of manreproduction. The phenomenon
rcvcals mankind's pre-plIredness to respond prompdy 10 incentives
emergingfromthe ficlds of knowledge and the ans,
irrcspcctiveoftheirnational andrcgional origin.Orhowabout this
(from"MaryHaworth's Mail"):Morbid preoccupation withthoughts of sex
gratifica-tion, alter one has att.lined tbe IIge of reason, is not
asign of emotional precocity, as some may supposc; butjust the
opposile. namely: evidence of II definitely in-fantile type of
emotional egocentricity; wbat the psy-chologists call a state of
arrestcd devclopment. Theuncomprchendinginarticulateinfant'ssenseof
well-beingis wholly relatcd tobodilyfeelings,-of being well
fed,comfortably clothed and bedded, fondly caressed, etc.His sole
concern, insislently registered. is with physicalLtvSWOJU)S
59gratification. because instinct tells himthat
pleasurablesensations, at his helpless level of development,
aresynonymous with areassuring sufficiency of creature
careandbealthysurvival.Now, if you look closely, you will notice
that the only active,finiteverbs inthefirst passageare andfour
mildlyactive verbs matched by27 passiveforms, infinitives,
participles, verbs made into nouns, andforms of theauxiliaryverb
10Inthesecondpassage. wehavesuppose, co/l. and tells, against 32
inactive verb formsofvarious types.AndnowIe! uslookat thelanguageof
Shakespeare ortheBible, forcontrast. Hereisa speechbyBrutus:No, not
anoath; ifnot l:hefaceof men,Thesufferance ofoursouls,
thetime'sabuse--If thesebemotivesweak, breakorrbetimes,And everyman
hencetohisidlebed;Solethigh-sightedt}'Tl1nnyrangeon,Till each
mandrop by lottery. But if these.As r amsuretheydo,
bearfireenoughTokindlecowards, and-10steel withvalourThemelting
spirits of women; then, countrymen.What needweanyspur,
butourowncause,Toprickustoredress?whatotherhand,Thansecret Romans,
that havespoke theword,Andwill oat palter?andwhat other
oath,Thanhonestytohonestyengag'd,That Ihisshall be, orwewill fall
for it?Swear priests, andcowlU'ds, and
meneautclous,Oldfeeblecarrionsand
suchsufferingsoulsThatwelcomewrongs; u_ntobadcausesswearSuch
creaturesas mendoubt; but donolstainTheevenvinueofour
enterprise,Northeinsuppressivcmettleof ourspirits,Tothinkthat
orourcauseorourperformanceDidneedan oath; wheneverydropofbloodThat
every Roman bears, andnobly bears,Isguillyofasevernl bastardy,If
bedobreakthesmallest particleOfanypromisethat halhpass'd
fromhim.Andthesearewordsof Job:60 HowTOWarrs. SP!!.U". "1'01)
1'n1laMaRl! EPFECT1\"ELYWherdore dothe wicked live, become old,
yea, aremightyinpower?Their seedisestablisbed intheirsight
withthem, andtheir offspringbeforetheireyes.Their houses nre
snfefromfeu, neitber istherodofGoduponthem.Theirbull gendercth, and
failethnot; their cow calvetb,andcastethnot bercalf.They sendforth
their littleoncslikeaflock, andtheirchildrendance.They lake the
timbrel and bllrp, and rejoice at tbesoundof the
organ.Theyspendtheir daysinwealth, andinamoment godown
10thegrave.Therefore lhey say unto God, Depart from us;
forwedesirenOt theknowledgeofthyways.What is theAlmighlY, that
weshouldserve him? andwhat profitshouldwe have, if
weprayuntohim?La, their goodis nOI intheirband: thecounsel
ofthewickedisfar fromme.Howoft is thecandleofthe wickedput out!
andhowoftcomeththeir destructionupontheml Goddistributelbsorrows
inhisanger.Theyare asstubblebeforethewind, andaschaff
thatthestormcarriethaway.Clearly, mostofthe power, movemenf,
andbeauty ofthesepassages comes fromthe successionof active verbs:
Shake-spearemakestyrannyrange, mendrop, and 11 causeprick
liS10redress; the Biblemakes a bull gender. acowcalve. andchildren
dance: There are 19live verbs in the Shakespearepassage against 11
passive verb forms, verbal nouns, eIC.;inthe Biblepassage
theratiois 2010 II.MaybeyouwillsayIhat I
amunfairinusingIheBibleandShakespeareasexamples. Afterall,
newspapersandmagazinearticles are written tomeet adeadline,
bywriters whodon'tdreamof beingliterarygeniuses; sowhycompare their
stylewithall-time masterpieces? I admit I amalittlebiased here;but
anybody can try 10 use aclive, workingverbs whereverpossible. It
won't make himaShakespeare but it will milkehim write good. plain
English. Here is, for instance, onemodernexample[romErniePyle:The
company I was wilh gOI itsorders torest about5 one afternoon. They
dug foxholes alongthehedgerows,LIVE WORDS
61orcommandeeredGermanonesalreadydug. Regardlessof how tired
youmaybe, youalways dig inthefirst thing.Thentheysent
somemenwithcanslookingforwater.They got more Krations up by jeep,
!lnd sat on thegroundeatingthem.Theyhopedthey wouldstaythereall
night, but theyweren't countingon it toomuch. Shortlyafter supper
alieutenant came out of a farmhouse and told the ser-sellOts
topassthewordtobereadytomove in 10min-utes. Theybundledontheir
packsandstartedjust beforedark.Withinhalf anhour they
hadnlnintoanewfight thatlasted all night. Theyhad had less than
four hours' restinthreesolid daysof fighting. That's the waylife is
illtheinfantry.There are 16 working verbs there and not a single
verbformor nounthat could, orshould, beturnedintoanactive,finite
verb. And nowcompare it with this sentence
fromapopulararticleoneconomics:In somewhat over-simplified
techniclll terms, innlltionis cllused by the existence, at any
given time in aneconomicsystem, of
anaggregateofeOectivepurchasingpowergreater thantheaggregateof
thegoodsandservicesfor sale.What a definition!
"Innation"iscausedbythe existenceofan aggregate thllt is greater
thun another aggregate. Thisshows clearly howimpossible it is to
describe a process-somethinghappening-without usinga
singleactiveverb. Ob-viously the writer reali:z.cd that himself,
because the neusentencereadslikethis:, ..Whenwendduptheamountsof
cashandcreditofnil kindsat thedisposal ofevcrybodywhois
readytobuysomething, nndfind that thesumis larger than thesumof all
the things to be bought at existing prices,thcnprices
arclikelytogoup.Nowthe verbs arein thcir proper ploces, and
everythingbecomescrystalelear: First we addsomclhing, then we
findthat it is larger than something else, nnd then prices
willgolip. Thisistbeclassictypeof scientificcxplanation: If
youdoXandY, what bappcns is Z. (Or, in theDe Kruif man62
HowTOWllrTe, Srn.u:. ANDTlllNXMORE EPFECTIVElYner: The great
scientist did Xand Y, and whal happenedwasZ.)And now, let's get
down 10 work and trY 10 rewrite a""verbless" passage ourselves.
Here is another bit fromtheliteraryessayI quotedonpage 58:Integnued
into Ihe circulation of national life muchmore complcldy than any
othcr modern literature,American belles-lettres also give amuch
more faithfuland adequate pictureof the
entirecivilizationtowhichthey belong than literature abroad, whose
very com-pliance with-or willful opposition to-traditions thathave
long lost their anchorage in the depths of theirrespective national
civilizations, renders themunable tokeepabreast of
therejuvenatedspirit
oftheirepoch.Hereisthesamesentencewiththenounsmndeintoverbs:American
helles-letlTes circulate in Ihe nalional lifemuchmore thanother
modemliteratures do; theypic-ture the entire civilization 10 which
they belong moref:lithfully and adequalely. 1be spirit of the times
hlUbecomeyoungagAin, andliteraturCJabroadcannot keepabreast withit
becauseof certaintradilionstheycomplywithor willfullyoppose.
Thesetraditions wereoncean-chored in the depths of their national
civilizntions, butbavelost that anchoragelongago.Andnow r expect
yOIl togoaheadandpepperyour speechandwritingwithactive verbs. But
beforeyoustart usingthisrule of thumb. let mewarnyou. There
isoneplnce whereitdoes not work: in wrillen dialogue. You know tbe
sonofthingI mean:"Shc is, I think, a lady not known to
Monsieur,"murmuredIhevalct ..."Show her OUI bere, Hippolytc." the
Comte c o m ~m:mded .."Mydescenl uponyou is unceremonious," she
began"Out Ral yourself, I begof you, MademoiRlIe,"criedIheComIc
..."BUl yes,"sheinsiSled ."Cenainlypeopleure wrong," agreed
theComte LIVI!. WORDS 63"Perhaps,"hemurmured ."Thejewels!"she
breathed Fowler, in his Dictionary0/ ModtrnUsage, saysthat Ihis
mannerismwas slarted by George Meredith; wher-ever it comesfrom, it
is nowadays anexcellent means totellabadnovel fromagoodone.
Apparentlyall bad writers doit and all good writers dont. Look at
the fearless way inwhich JohnHerseyrepeatsthe word $oid in ABell/or
Adana:Zilosaid: "What is lhisLibertyBem"Major Joppolosaid: "Itis
thebell theAmericansrangwhen they declared themselves free fromthe
English."ZilOSaid: "Theidea is good. BUI would America
bewillingtopartwiththisbell forAdana'?"MajorJoppolosaid: "We
wouldhavetoget areplica.ZiIO."Zito said: "Describethis bel!."Major
Joppolo said: "WeJl, it hangs in a tower inPhiladelphia. I think
.."ImagineIhis withZito venturedandMajor loppoloremt-nisced
...Andnowfor yourEXERCISETranslate the two passages onpage58into
plain Englishbymakingasmanywords
aspossibleintoactiveworkingverbs.Ortryyourhandat this
secondquotefrom"MaryHaworth'sMail":Asnearlyas r canmakeout, Ihisisn
caseof deferredadolescence. Mentally you are abreast of your years
ormaybeabit beyond. But emotionallyor psychologically,youareslill
the fledgling 14 which you assiduously exemplifyinyourchosengarb.
Thecommdrumis whetheryour unseasonablegreen-gourdpersonalityis
directlyre-lated to organic or glandular subnormality,-which
isstayingyour physical development more or less Ilt childlevel,--or
whether it is, rather. theoUlpicturingof
sub-consciousstubbornreluctance togrowupand thustakelasting leave
of the special prerogatives and
adulationyoumayhaveenjoyedasaCharmingchildprodigy.Clulptcr
SevenCROWDEDWORDSVoltaireonce said: "The adjectiveisthe enemy of
thenoun,"Thissentenceisoneofthemost famousepigramsabout lan-guage;
manyyoungjournalistshave beenstartedoffwithitandt3ughtto hunt
adjectives in their copy.It's agoodrule, but alittleconfusing,
Thefact is, gram.rowans stiUcan't a g r ~ onwhat
anadjectiveis.Ifyousay,for instance, "Aravishingmathteacher;' some
ofthemwilltellyoutbatravishingandmathareadjectives; somewill
saythat ravishingis a verb form; some others willinsist that
mathisnnoun(iftheyadmit it is awordat all). Thebest
thing(orusistoleave grammalical labelsbebindand
seewbatthewordsdoinandtoasentence, Then, at once, wesee thatmalh
definesteacher, andthat ravishingis acommenl onthemathteacher, Ln
other words, therearetwokinds of so-calledadjectives:
commentingnnddefining, NowwecanseewhatVoltairo meant: obviously he
didn't mean that a definingadjectivcisthe cnemyofthenoun, becauseit
rcallybelongstothe noun(What is sheteaching?-Math) in fact it is
II. partof the nounand you could just as well
writemath-teacher,with8 hyphen.Ontheotherhand, the commenting
adjectiveis hostiletoandliterallykills thefollowingnoun: wbat
werememberisthat sheisrnvishing, Dot that sheteachesmath.IT we want
to "s:1ve" the nounfromthe commenting adjecth'e.we have towrite
this descriptionintwosentences: "Sheisrovishing,
Sheisteachingmath."Asyousee,
thetroublewithcomment-whetheradjective,adverb. or anytbiog
else-isthat it raiseshavocwithasen-tencewhereit doesn't belong,
Inreallysimple language allsenlences are just subject-predicate
sentences: "Man bite dog.""Manshort," "DoglolL"If youmllkeone
sentenceout ofthree 8.Ddsticktwocommentsintothefirst simple
sentence64CROVfDEO VVORDS 65("Short mAn bite tall dog"), you arc
already on your waytowarddifficultyandsophistication. Youforce
thereader, orlistener, 10 lakeinthreeideas
inoncsentcnccandyoumakeunderstandingjust somuchharder. (James Joyce
went evcnfurther andpacked severalideasintooneword,
like"brooder-in-low" or "I was just thinkinguponthat.")Soour
rulefor plain talkis: Don', trytosave asentencebystickingacomment
intoanother. Reason: Twoshort sen-tencesareeasier
10understandthanonelongone, withextrastuffinit.I said in the
beginning that newspapermen are nowbeingtaught that adjectives are
Bad. The trouble is, theyare alsobeing taught tosavewords andso,
aher awhile, theyforgetall aboutadjective buntingandbecome sentencc
stuffers. Hereisamildcase:Married, heliveswithhiswifeAndthreesons
inNewJersey.What be means is: "He is marriedand ..,"Sometimes the
twoidasdon't match:The53-year-oldcornment;ltorlefthighschool
tocarrycopyontheBrooklynTimes.Or:Kyser, bespectacled,
wasbornthirty-eightyearsagoinRockyMount,
N.C.Somewritershabituallyfill their
sentencesuptothebrim.Hereisanextract
fromabookreviewbyHarrisonSmithintheSalllrdtlyReview (I haveput all
the commentsin italics):Thetwosisters, islandaristocrats, whose
lijelongfatewas sealedwhenthey sawonemorninginSaint
Piureahandsomeboy oj thirteen. whoseja/her, an IIn/idybut
aheart-oJ-gold physician, hadillS/ retllmeda witlower tohis
nativetown. Margucrite, tileyounger ojtlte sisters, ahappy,
bllle-eyed, blomlechild, wins hislovc; Mariannc,dark, passionate,
sel/-willed, determinedly molds his lifeuntil heleavestheisland,
afierl/enan! in theRoyal Brit-ish Navy, boundJor Ihe Cl,inacoast.
Theyoung ladiessit behindandwnit jrigidiyfor over tenyears for
wordfromhim. William, inthe meantime, hadbeen luredby66
HowTOWlUTI!, Spnn. ANDTIIlNl: Moall EFFECTIVELYa half-caste girlina
Chinese pOrtinto losinghisshipandone morning, penniless,
hal/-naked, and drugged, findshimself aboardadippership, bound
lorNewZealand,anexile.Sortedout, thisrcads:Marguerite and Marianne
were sisters. They wereislandaristOCrlllS. Marguerile
waslheyounger;shewasahappy, blueeyed, blonde child. Marianne was
dark,passionateandself-willed.One morning, in Saint Pierre, they
sawa handsomeboyof thirteen. Hisname WllSWilliamnndhe was Iheson of
an unlidy physician with a heart of gold. Hisfather hadjust become
II widower and relurned tohisnative town.ThaI moment sealed lhe
lifelong fnte of the sisters:Marguerite wonthe boy's love,
Mariannemolded hislife.Then, oneday, Williamleft theisland.
HehadjoinedtheRoyal BritishNavyand becomea lieutenant. Now
hewasboundfor tbeChinacoast ...etc. cle.OrleI'shavc nlook at our
friend fromthe lasl chapter,MaryHaworth:Is il fine phl1osophic
restraint or isit craven expediencyto 'adtlyanent. as
)'ouhavedoneso far, to yourwifc'sollfre performance, when
youareconfident it ispartofapallemof' infidelity? If it
wereintruththelargereaetionof anoblymagnanimous mind, wouldit
beaccompaniedonthe
otherhandbyIheprimitivemale-egoistemotionll.1attitude that the
marriage is wrecked for you, if she isindulginginapassingfnncy,
asyoubelieve?Haveyou fenred sllbconrciollsly to force and fnee
nshowdownlest theresultant disseclionofthe marital rela-tionship
nnd her possible countcr-eharges confront
youwithashrewdandmerciless delineationof yourself asone pallidly
devoid of safient "airs of thorough mllS-eulinily?Nearly all lhckey
ideas have been put intocommentingadjeclives and adverbs. Here is
another, more sophislicated ex-ample(fromafilmreview by
JamesAgeeinTheNation):VerybelatcdlyI want tosay thai
''ThcWatchontheCROWDED WORf)'l 67Rhine" seemed much betler on the
screen than it did,almost identically, on the stage-though I still
wishedHenryJames might havewril/enitj andthar f joinwithanyone
whose opinion oLPaul Lukas' performance issuperlnlive. Alsothat
asimple-hearted friendliness gen-eratedbetween audience and screen
at "This Is theArmy" made that filmhappy to see even when it
wmotherwise boring; though I am among an apparentminority which
feels that Warner Brothers' cuddly-revercn/(altreatmcnt of
President Roosevelt-in"Missionto Moscow," "This Is theArmy," and
the forthcoming"Princess O'Rourke"-issubject tocharges
certainlyofindecent exposure and, quite possibly, of alienation
ofaffection.If youread this without theitalicizedwords, you will
seethatit still makes sense;but the real point of [he whole
passageis expressedinthose casually tucked-inadjcctivcs likc
"simple-hearted" or "cuddly-revcrential." Mindyou, 1don't
saythattbis is badwriting; but itisn'tplaintalkeither, bya
longshot.Buebowabout descriptions, yousay; How
canyoudescribeanything-a city, a landscape-without using
descriptivc, com-menting adjectives?How canyou get away fromthe
pattern of"the nowery summer meadows, the lush cow-pastures, thc
quietlakes andthe singingstreams, the friendly
accessiblemoun-tains"? Simple: put yourdescriptioninverbs,
inpredicates, indefiningadjectives; don't commeut but
describewhathappens;report, don't analyze.Hereis a description
ofAmerica(fromII NewYorkTimeseditorial) :It issmall
thingsremcmbcrcd, theIittlccornet'll oftholand, thehouses,
thepeoplethateachoneloves.
Weloveourcountrybecausetherewasalittletreeonahill, andgrass
thereon, and a sweet valley below; because thehurdy-gurdy
manC:lmealongon asunnymorningin acitystreet; because a beach or a
farmor a lane or abousethat might not seemmuchtootherswasonce,
foreach of us, mademagic.Itisvoices that arcrememberedonly, no
longer hcard. It is parents, friends, the lazychato[strcct
andstoreandonice, andthcease ofmindthat makes lifetranquil. ...It
is sloriestold. Itisthe Pilgrimsdyingintheir firstdreadful winter.
It is the MinuteMan standinghisgroundIlt Concord Bridge, nnd dying
there. It is the army in rags,68 HowTOWRrrn, SPIlAK, ANDTmm:
MOREEt'l'ElCTlVlU.Ysick, freezing, starvingatValleyForge. It is
thewagonsand the menonfoot goingwestwardover CumberlandGap,
floatingdownIhe greatrivers, rollingoverthe greatplains. It is the
settler hackingfiercelyat the primevalf o r ~ t on hisnew, his
ownlands. It is ThoreauatWaldenPond, Lincoln at Cooper Union, and
Lee riding bomefromAppomattox.In short, if you wont
togivedescriptivedetail Inplainlan-guage, dcscribe what you see,
even using adjectives if youmust; but don't stuff your descriptions
down the reader'sthroat, whether hewants themor not, byfilling all
theoddcornersnndemptyspotsinyoursentenceswithlittledabs
ofobservation.Which brings us, of course, to Time magazine. As
youknow, the little descriptive adjcctives-"beadY--cyed,
thin-lipped"-luethe hallmark ofTime; its editors say that
theyhelpthereader get abetterpicture ofwbat'sgoingon intheworld.
Well, Ict's have a look:Devinv. DevonErnest Devin, the bull
elephant of Dritishlabor, lastweeksal bulkily silent,
beadi/ywatch/ill, inthebackrowat acaucusof
Parliament'sLaboritemembers. Thepro-posnl: to expel from the Party
his homonym-pink,grizzledWelshmall Aneurin Bevon. Thecrime:
LaboriteDevan's revoltagainstLabor MinisterDevinin the Houseof
Commons.At tbetenseandtrollbledmeeting,
AneurinBevanre-fusedtorecant. He argued thnt ifhewerebounced,
15otherLaboriteswhosidedWilh himwould alsohavetogo. All
overBritain, hewarned, laborunionswererisingagainst tOllgh,
truculctlt ErnieBevin's DefenseRegulationl-AA(fiveyearsinprisonfor
strikefomenters).A!i Aneurin Bevan talked, Ernie Bevin restlessly
shiftedhis weight, impll1;eatly nung his larm-hardened bandsabout
in ge.f/llre.f Ire hadlong IIsed 10 brush aside op-ponents,
sOllntJlessly worked hispudgy lips..This is the first part of a
storyabout a British antistrikeregulation. But,because of
theTimeformula, thereader is al-lowed onlya quickglimpseat
thetopicina briefparenthesis.What hereallylearnsfromthisfirst
thirdof thestoryisthatDevinandDevanhavesimilarnalnes (thisis
madethehead-CROWDEDWORDS 69ing) and thnt Bevin, in contrast to
Bevan, is a heavy man(this he getsfromfour commenlS,
withslightvariationsuponthe theme, plustwo photographs of
DevinandBevantoshowwhat tbeylooklike). What thetrouble isabout,
orwhat thearguments are on eachside, he cannoteven guess atthis
point.Now, psychologists havefoundthat one of the
maintroublesinreadingisthe"overpotcncy" ofccrtainwords.
Sinceweal-ways rend a fewwordslit n time, thosethat are specially
live or colorful tendtoblotout the others. Theresultis oftenthat
weget 11 wrongimpressionor, atlensr, readanemphasisintothetext that
isn't there. Soit's quiteobviowthatrendersareapr toleamnlot about
thefigures. bands.lips and eyes of worldlenders, but nre liable10
misread or slipwhat these people do,So, for plain talk, here is a
special rule about Timestyleadjectives: Don't useuny, Peoplewill
get youbetter withoutthem.Andnow, asyour
Rewrite, without commenting words, the rest of the
passngeonpage6Snndthepassages onpages
65nnd66.CllaptcrEightTHEGLAMOUROFPUNCTUATIONSome timengo, Sylvin P.
Porter, thefinancial reporter. wrotea Reeder's Digest:Lrticle on
the income-tax nightmare. Amongotherthings, shesaid. "there's
animprovement uponwhichall agree. And that is exilingfromWashington
forever thewritersoftheincredible thingcalled income tax prose
andmakingit mandatoryfor thenewauthors of taxinstructionsheets
touse (I) short words, (2) short sentences. (3) nosemicolons and(4)
noparentheses."The first two of these points are fine, of
course;but thelasttwo just go to show that theaveragewriter
considerspunctua4tionmarks no inventionof the devil that makes
everythingmore complex and harder to understand.That'snnoddidea.
After all, wbenpeoplestarted writing.they just put one word
afterthe other; asfor punctuation, tbereaderwas onhisown. Only
latcrwritersmarkedtheircopywithlittledots anddashes andstnrted
togive the reader abreak. And now people complain that punctuation
makesreadingbarderlIthink the reason must be tbat punctuation.10
most people,is a set of arbitraryandratbersilly rulesyoufindin
printers'stylebooksandinthebackpagesof school grammars.
Fewpeoplerealizethat it is themost important siogledeviceformaking
thingseasier toread.Whenwearetalking.of course, wedon't
useanypunctuationmarks. Weuseasystemof sborter or
longerpauses~Iweenwords tojoinorseparate our ideas,
andweraiseorlower our voices to makethings sound emphatic or
ensunl. InOlher words, we make ourselves understood notonly by
wordsbutalsobypausesllIldby stress orpitch.Punctuation gets pauses
and stress(butnot pitch) down 00paper. Thesystemis simpletoget
thehangof:70Normal pauseSnorter pauseLonger pauseNormal
stressUnstressedS t r e ~ e dThEGUMOUROPPUNCTUATION 71Be/weenWords
Between SentencesWhite space PeriodHyphen Semicolon(or colon)Dash
ParagraphNormal type (or writing)Parentheses (or twodashes)Italics
(or underlining)Letmee:tplainthislittletable: As
longasyouusenormalpauses and normal suess in talking, don't use
anything butperiods andcommasinwriting. Whenyou run twoor morewords
togetherwithalmost nopausebetweenthem(becauseyou
usetheminthatsentence asone word), hyphenate them.Whenyouusca
longer pause-Watchout for the next word!-makeadash.
Samewithsentences: Whenyouruntwoormore senlences together (because
you use a string of sen-tences as one), use a semicolon or, if the
fIrst sentence in-troducesthesecond, acolon. Whenyouuscalonger
pause-Nowcomes somethingelse!-make a paragraph. And don'tforget to
use itulics or parentheses for emphasis or casualmention.Whenyouput
plaintalkinwriting, twopunctuationmarksareparticularlyimponant for
you; hyphens and semicolons.Thereason)sthis: Thefewer emptywords
you uscand themore you rely on wordorder, the moreimportant it
isforyoutoshowwhichwords belongcloselytogether;
thisyoudobyusinghyphens. Ontheother hand, inplaintalkyouoftenusetwo
or morc shon sentences insteadof one longoneand
showtheconnectionbysemicolons.Hereisforinstancea collection of
hyphenatede:tpressionsfroma colloquial piece
onWendell)Villkie:..thisnowyou-see-it-now-you-don't impression
noLandon-like also-ran obscurity ... the big-shaggy-bearmanner ...
the verbal giveand-takeof alawyer ...pag..sianfor
face-to-facedebate ... thehalcyon, high-wide-and-handsomedaysof
WallStreet ...afinancial-districtDemocrat ... n
Willkie-packedaudience ...Steve Hannaganofbathing-beautyfame.
:.tailoringhiswordstohis on-the-spot listeners ...it was a
hcads-I-win-tails-you-loseproposition ... hisforty-ninc-dayjunket
aroundtheglobe ...slow, unglamorous. personal-conlaet
stuff..alwenticth-cenlUryHenryClay .72 HowTOWRIT!!, SPEAK, ANDTmNlC
MORE EpPIJC'T'IVeLYAs yousee, hyphens comeinhandywhenyouwant just
tohint at a general ideaorquicklydescribeanimpression,
HereisagoodexamplefromWestbrook Pegler: , , oneof
thoseeontinued-among-the-leather-belting-ads analysesinFortune, ,
Another fromaHarper'sarticleondeGautle:Churchill apparently
succeededinexplainingawaytheno-longer-a-great-power clause in the
Smuts speechandat thesametimepersuadingdeGaullethat
itwastohisinterest tosuppOTt the bloc-ofWestern-Europe
policyitannounced.And, ofcourse,
thisjust-to-give-you-the-ideadeviceisaboonfor reviewers. Hereare
twoexamples fromDavidLardner'sfilmreviews: , ,
theoldinvisible-mansetup, . oneofthoselost-patrol affairs. ,
AndthreefromWolcott Gibbs'stheaterreviews:Mr.
Hammersteinisdealinginbasichumor, anexten-sionofthe
snowball-and-silk-hat principle. , ,, ..Mr.
Hart.putheroismonalheirs-but-to-do-or-diebasis, . .. thereis
someconversationof a gallant, rueful, nndwon't-you-sit-downnature
...Thesemicolonalsohasitsspecial uses. Sinceit wiclds s e v ~enl
facts inlOa singleevent, it isoneof Ihefavorile loolsofthenews
digester. Here is John Lardner writing aboutGeneralMonlgomeryin
Newsweek:I sawhiminReggiothefirst dayI spent inItaly;sawhim100
miles up the roadtalkingto troopsin a woodthenext day;
andthedayafter that hiscllrSUddenlypulledup 100yardsfrommy; [nIckat
apoint 30miles 10Ihecast.Andthis is atypical bitfromTime:Tile
GLAMOUR OF PUNCTUATION 73No V-day?Untiewhistles; those boards off
the windows;disband tnose put that bOllleof bonbackon
theshelf-theremaybenoV-day.SosaidtheWar&NavyDepartmentslast
weekinanOWl statement: V-day may be spreadgraduallydaysandweeks.
Nogeneral surrender oftheGermanis expected; they may gradually
disintegrate and surrenderpiece-meal. And the Allies' policy is not
to accept sur-render from any hastily contrived substitute
GermanGovernment; the Allies arc not looking for lIny
NaziDadoglio;thewar withGermanywill befinallyover
onlywhenallGermany hasbeenoccupied, townbytown.Also, semicolons,
the short-sentence mortnr, are the trade-mark. of a good
popularizer. For instance, Microbe Hunter1byPaul de Kruif
literallyteemswithsemicolons. Thisis thepattern:Pasteur sl:uted
hunting microbes of disease andpunchedinto a boil onthebackof
theneckof oneof hisassistants and grew a germ fromit and was sure
itwas thecauseof boils;hehurriedfromtheseexperiments tothehospital
to findhis chain microbes inthe bodies of
womendyingwithchild-bedfever; fromhereherushedout
intothecountrytodiscover-but not toproveit preciscly-that
earthworms carry anthrax bacilli {romthe
deepburiedcarcassesofcallietolhesurfaceofthefields.... ..timefor
thefalal final testdrewncar:the veryairof
thelittlelaboratorybeCllmefinicky; thelautwork-erssnappedat
eachother across the Bunsenflames .. .. One
deadchildafteranotherLoeffierexamined;hepokedintoeverypart of
eachpitiful body; hestainedahundred different slices of every
organ; he tried-andquicklysucceededin-growingthosequeer barred.
bacillipure ... ..Theywent at it frantictosavelives; theygropedat
it amongbizarrebutcheringsofcountlessguinea-pigs;intheevenings
their laboratories wereshambleslikethebalilefields of old days when
soldiers were mangled byspearsandpiercedbyarrows ... ..He shothis
mixtureintonewinthree74 HowTOWRITE, SPEAK, ANDTUrNK
MOREEPFiOcrIVELYdaystheygrewcold; whenhelaidthemon their
backsandpokedthemwithhisfinger tbeydidDot budge.However, not all
popularizers agreeonthis point. Oneofthem, Walter B. Pitkin,
theauthor of Lite Begins at Forty,alwayswroteextremely short
sentences, fromsix to ten words.Sincehedespisedsemicolons,
hisstylereadlikethis:In J919 I began to work with sheil-shocked
Armyofficers whowere having ntough time returning
totheworldofbusiness. Here wnsonewhohadbrokenalmosteveryboneinhis
bodyandhadlivedtoresumehisoldjob with hardly any mental upset. Here
was anotherwhoseinjuries weretrivial. If hecarriedacanehe
couldgetaroundeasily. But heloathedthecane. Heseemedtoregardit
asapublic confession of weakness. He
wasfor-evertryingtodowithoutit. Worse yet, hestrove towalkwithout
alimp. ThestrainwasteITible, Heinsistedthatlifewasemptyforacripple.
WithintwOyearshekilledhimself.I reachedtwoconclusions.
Manypeoplearcbetteroffwithgrave handicaps than with triflingones.
Thegravehandicapreleasescopiousenergies. Thetriflinghandicapseems
toslir the person too feebly toopen upthe bigvalvesofnervous
andmental power. Then, too, peopleoflcn try to mask lhe pClIy
handicap, which leads tofurther complicationof
thepersonality,Nowlet'sputinsemicolons;colons, dashes, and
paragraphs:In 1919 r began 10 work with shell-shocked Armyofficers
whowcre havinga toughtime returning totheworldofbusiness. Herewas
onewhohadbrokenalmosteveryboneinhisbodyand hadlived10resume
hisoldjoh with hardly any mental upset. Here was
anOlherwhoseinjuries weretrivial: ifhecarrieda canehecouldgel
aroundeasily. BUI heloathedthecane----heseemedtoregardil
asapUblicconfessionofweakness. Hewasforever tryingto dowithoul it;
worseyet, hestrove 10walkwithout a limp. Thestrainwas terrible;
hcinsistedthat lifewas empty for acripple; within two ycars
hekilledhimself.I reachedtwoconclusions:Manypeoplearcbetler
olTwithgravehandicaps thanwith trifling ones: lhe grave handicap
releases copiousTilE GLAMOUR OF PUNCTUATION 7Senergies, the
trifling handicap seems to stirtheperson toofeebly10openupthe
bigvalvesof nervousnnd mentalpower,Then, too, people often try to
maskthepcttyhandicap,which lends to further complication of
thepersonality.Seethedifference?In fact, without colonsand
semicolonsnoonecouldimitatespokenlanguagein print. Asnnexample,
listentoa littleeyewitness account froma detective story bythe
British poct CecilDayLewis (NicholasBlake):"Iknowsmywayabout
hereinthedarklike amole.)'d atorch, of course; but Ididn't want to
uscitincaseitshould giveaway my position to Iheenemy. Apropernight
attack-that's what I wanted to spring on theblighter. See?Well, I
cameupstairs quiet. and just as Iroundedthecorner lit theotherendof
Ihispassage 1 sawsome one outside the door of Mr. Dunnett's
room.There'sahit of light comesinthrough theskylight justabovei not
what you'dcall light but not as darkas thestairs: just enoughfor me
to see a sonof figure. So Iclicks onmytorch: only, me standingclose
against thewall, the movement hit the torchagainstitabout a
secondbeforethelight went on: the bUllon'sabit stilT,
yousee,Theblighterheard thesoundandit gavehimlimetonipround
thecorner and be off; movedlike ableeding streakoflightning,
hedid.If YOU'll pardontheexpression, justsawhistail light
whiskingolI, asyoumight say. I goesafter him. thinking
he'dbeboundtorun out bythefrontentrance, but seems like
hedidn't."So, punctuationmarks are handygndgets
inwritingplainlanguage. If you wantto, youcan
evengofurtherandexplorethe fromiers of punctuation, so to speak:
newpunctuationmarksare .always croppingup. Hereisonethat seems
tohaveafuture: figures for enumeralion. Of course, figures
haveal-waysbeenusedinoutlinesandsoon; but nowadays
youcanwatchthembecominga punctuationmarkproper. Timeisaninveterate
numberer:Britain's adherence10 unconditionalsurrender is basedon;
l) IhedeterminationtoreformandreeducateGer-many; 2) the equal
determination to avoid any truckwhatever withHitlerandhisgangi 3)
theacceptanceof76 HowTOWRITE, SI'l!AK, ANDTlllmMORn
EFFECTIVELYtheargumentthata war between ideas means aEuropeancivil
warratherthanonebetweennations, ... . . But
theNazisdidhavethesensetoinstall astheirNo. I puppet a Slovakwho
commandsa realfollowing: acanny, bullet-headednnlionalist andpriest
namedJosephTiso. Withpoliticalcraft andGermanaid, Tisohas: 1)fed
his countrymen relatively well; 2) provided statejobs; 3) promoted
Slovaks in government service; 4)suppressedpro-Czechs,
bydeportingthemor threateningto. ". , CostaRica'sPresidential
campaign, sobitler thatit threatened civil war, endedlast week in a
comp'arativelypeacefulelection(two
werekilledinaninteriorvillage).The winners: I)Teodoro Picado.
candidate of incumbentPresident Rafael Calderon Gardia's
Republicans andofthe Leftist Vangllardia Popular; 2) Costa Rica,
whichkept itsstatus as the
onlydemocracyindictator-riddenCeolraJAmerica, , .EXERCISEHere is,
without punctuation,apicce fromLeoM. Cherne'sTheRest oj l'our
Lile:The United States will not suffer a serious postwar flation
because slowness of reconversion unemploymentboth business and
public uncertainty will work againstthe dissavings that economists
fear so mucb. we wonthave innationbecauseeverythingthatwill
happentoyouwill compel you to holdon \0your moneyrather
thanspendithereis tI preview of thekindofdenationary velopmentsthat
will occur fimofall therewill benation unemployment secondly theres
the absoluteeerlainty that take home pay will fall youll hold
ontoyoursavingsmuchtighterwhenyour weeklypay velope is thinner nnd
thinner it will be because of thereductioninhours lInd overtime
thirdYOllre going to waitforpricesto come downwartime
conditionsCorcedpricesupyoull
besaying10yourselfandyouvewaitedsolongyoucan wait a lillielonger
fourth youl! be waiting forthcnewproductsthat
youreadaboutandbaventseeninthe shop windows why rushoul and get a
radio whenthat swell FMtelevision standardshort waveTlII!. GUMOUROP
PUNCTUATION 71tionmaybejust afewmonths awayfifthandmost im-portant
theres the basic fae! of what !he war economydidnt dotoyou it didnt
tighten your belt too uncom-fortablyandthere will benoreal
pressurefor youto slipthestrap out ofthebuckleimmediatelyyouhavent
beenstarvedenough sothat youll want torushout madlyandbuyif
youhadbeengoingwithout shoes in p:ltcheduppantsinacalionovercoat as
our allies have beendoingthencertainlyyoudlet looseinthegreatest
buyingspreeof your life but nomailer howlong the W3r lasts youwont
be brought todesperationfurthermore however in-sufficient our
future production you will go into thestores andshopscertainthat
youwill beable toget allyouneedforyour bodyscomfortevenifyoucant
get allyou want for your hearts desireno we willnot be exclaim-ing
after the war good grief howthe money rolls outpeoplewill not
beleUinggoinsteadof aflight fromthedollar we willhave a desperate
clingingto the dollar untilemployment begins to pick up again and
job tenure beginstolookmorerealLookslike
apagefromastream-of-eonseiousness novel thisway, doesn't
it?Nowtranslate it intoasanc economic argu-ment bypunctuatingit
uptothehilt. Herc are the first fewlines as a
starter:TheUnitedStaleswill nOI SliDer a seriouspostwar in-fla/ion
because:(1) slownessof reconversion;(2) unemployment;(3)
bothbusiness andpublicIInccrlainty-will work ogainst
the"dis-savings" thnt economists fearsomuch.We won't have inflation
because evaylhinR Ihat willhappen to yall will compel youto hold
ontoyOllrmOlleyrather tlian s p ~ n d il.Here is apreviewof the
kind of "de-flationary" de-velopmentsthat will occur:First of all,
there will be /ermination IInemploy-,nent .Cllrlpter
NineCiINSCIENCEBEEXPLAINED?When people talk about something Ihal's
difficult to read,theyareapt 10
sayit's"tootechnical."Theordinaryperson,when he gets bogged downin
a hook or article, wouldn't thinkof saying, ''The author of this
can't write"; he will say, "A
laymanlikemewiUneverunderstandthis"lindlet it goat that.Inother
words, mostpeoplethinkIhal some subjects arceasyandsome
difficultandit hardly matterswhat languageisusedinexplainingthem.I
don't agree with those people. The principles of simple
Jnn-guagearc just asimportant, ormaybemoreso, inexplaining,say,
biochemistry, thanthey are for a news broadcast. Theonly difference
is this: When youuse simple hmguageforany-thingthat is
notscientificortechnical, youCllnexplainit toanybody; but
whenyousimplifyscience, you will find thatonlypart ofit will be
understandable 10thelayman, andanother part, however simply
stated,will be clear onlytopeoplewho havesome training inthai
brnneh of science. Thereisnoscientificdiscoveryor theorythai cannot
hepopulariz.ed-uptoapoint; theimportant thingistoknowjust what
canbeexplainedtothe ordinary person andwhat
cant.Letmeshowyouanexampleof what I mean: Sometimeago International
Business Machines Corporation working withDr. HowardS.
AikenofHarvardUnive.rsitydevelopedaso-calledmathematical robot,
that is, an automatic calculatorthat cansolvetremendous, otherwise
insolublemathematicalproblenu.
Nowbowcananybodyexplainthisincrediblema-chinetonlaym:m?At first
sight, youwouldthinkit'simpos-sible; but thaI isn't so. Infacl,
themachine i ~ beingoperatedbylaymen; they get a codebook
preparedbya mathematicianandall
theyhavetodoistofollowthecodeandpunch. holesina tape. Sotbe
opcrazion.'i ofthemnchinecanbeexplained7BCA.N SCIRNCE
BEEXt'LAlNl!D? 79very simply; the book probably says something like
"Firstpunchbole A6; thenpunch holeC3 t"andso on.But youcan
alsogoonestepfurther andexplaintoalay-manwhat mMondDr.Menwere about
when they werebuildingthat machine: youcan tell what tbe
problemwas,for what purpose the machinewas going to be used,
whattheorytheyhadinmindand howthey put it
intopractice,andfinallywhat teststheyusedtobe suretheworked.
Allthiscan be toldin simple, ordinary language, andif
it'sproperlydramatizedandmadeinteresting, it will
goalongwaytowardexplainingthemeaningofthisscientific de-velopment:
not exactlywhat wasdone, but whyand howitwas done. It willgive the
layman an explanation he canunder-stand, andusually that will beall
hewants.Thereis, ofcourse, athirdkindof explanation, amathe-matical
explanationofthemachinefor mathematicians. This,too, can beput
insimple language, that is, short sentences,simplewords andsoon,
and that will save mathematicianstimeandeffort inreading their
professional journals. But-let's faceit-thelaymanwill ncver
understand the formulasandgraphs, Tounderstandexactlywhat IBMandDr.
Aikenhavedone, youbavetohaveso-aod-somnnyyearsofhigbermathematics,
and tbat'sthat.Or let's take another example that happens to be
handy,How canthescientificyardstickformulaofthis bookbeex-plained?
The answer is exactly the same. Again, there arethreelevels of
explanation, twofor laymen, onefor scientisl5only.First,
thereistheoperationoftheformula: that canbeexplainedbythesimple set
ofdirectionswhichyouwill findintheback ofthebook. Second,
thereisthemeaningoftheformula: toexplainthat propcrly, I would have
to gointothehistoryof language simplifying, the relationship
betwccnlanguage and understanding, the readability formulas that
weredevelopedby otherresearchers,
thedifferencesbetweenthoseformulasandthisonc, andso on, ThenI
coulddramatizethewhole story andthatwouldprobablygivemost peopleall
theexplanationtheywant. However, thereisstill thethirdlevel,that
ofthe:icienti/icexplanation; and here I would havetoget into
statistical regression formulasnndmultiple corrclationnod whatnot,
andnobody who hasn't hada course in statisticswould knowwhat I
amtalkingabout.Nowlet's see howthe principles of language
simplifyingapplytothesethreetypesof scientificexplanation. First,
let'stake alookat the languageof operation sheets,
dircctions,shopm:lOuals, popular mechanics.
lbeliteraturethattcllshow80 HowTOWkIT1l, SI'I!AX,
ANDTIIINKMaRSEpPECTIVELYto do atechnical job. Here is an example
Ipickedat randomfromII book onpapermaking::Inthe event of there
being morethanone screen serv-ingthe machine (asisusuallythe case)
it isnecessarytowatchcarefullytheoperationofthescreens
withrefer-encetothe stock suppliedthem, andeachvalve'houldbe opened
or closedinproportiontothe capacityofthescreen it is feeding. If
there is any difference in the capaci.ties of the screens, it is
probably due tothecams ortoe-blocks being worn, or some other thing
affecting theoscillation ofthe
diaphragm.Nowobviouslythisisnotveryreadable. Dut what
aretheobstaclesthereader has to face? Certainlynot
thetechnicalterms; in facl, any reader interesledinpapermilking
machinesisapttoknowwhat a camor atoe-blockis. and tf not, willhave
no trouble finding out. But Ihat technical knowledgewon't make it
anyeasier for himtowork his way through"intheevent oftherebeing"or
"withreferencetothestocksupplied them" or "in
proportiontothecllpacity." The
simplefactisthatpeoplewhoknowsomethingaboutcertaintechni-cal
operations are usually those least equipped for writingabout
themorexplainingwhat theyknowtosomebodyelse.Not solongagoa New York
TimaSlory described theexcellent instructionmanualsput out byBell
Telephone Lab-oralories for the ArmyandNavy.Letme quote one
sentence:"The companyhasdiscoveredthat il is
easiertohireaquali-fiededitor andteachhimwhat heneeds to knowabout
thetechnical terms involvedthanit wouldbe tolakeII
qualifiedengineerandteachhimwhat he wouldneed 10knowabouttheart
ofediting ..."Ifthosepnpermakers hadfollowedthe sameprinciple,
ourpassage would probablyreadsomewhat likethis:Usually the
machineis served by more than one screen.If so, wntch carefully how
much stock goesthrough each.Tokeepthefloweven, just openor
closethevalves. (Ifyouwant tomakethe screens workevenly, lookfirst
forworncamsor toeblocks. Most oftenthnl's what makesthe
difference.)In Olher words, allwriting of the operalionsheet type
shouldaddress therender directly, andshouldtell himstepbystepwhat
to do. It's as simpleasthat. Anybodywhowrites how1o-CANSCIIONCB BE
EXPUINED? 81doprose sbouldstart off byreadingagoodcookbook;
here,for instance, isamodel paragraphfromFannieFarmer:Apple
Pic,Line pie plate withpastry. Pare. core, andcut apples ineighths,
put rowaround plate Jh incb fromedge, andworktowMdscenter until
plateiscovered; thenpileonremainder. Mix sugar, nutmeg, salt, lemon
juice, andgratedrind, andsprinkleover apples. Dot over withbut-ter.
Wet edgesofundercrust. cover withupper crust. andpress
edgestogether. Prick several places withfork. Bake.Anybody
canunderstandthat. andanybodycan understandanykindof technical
directions that arewritten inthesamestyle.When we come
tothesecondlevelof scientificexplanation,we find, oddlyenough, that
thereis alsoonesinglestandardformula. The reason is simple: Since
the meaning of anymodern scientificfactcanonly be
explainedbythemethodofits discovery, andsincethe
scientificmethodistbesameinallbranches of science. any such
explanation will be the storyof ascientist. or several scientists,
going through the classicfour stnges of modern scientific method:
observation, hy-pothesis, deduction, and experimental verification.
So thistype of popularization will showhowa scientist got
curiousabout certain faclS, thought up a theory to explain
them.devisedexperiments10provethe tbeory, nndfinallytested itand
found that it worked. If two scientists working on
thesameproblemcnn be shown, so much the better: this willmake
thereader appreciatenot only tbescientificmethod, butalsothe fnct
that modern science is never none-man nffair.Popular science
written bythis standard formula is prob-ably the most
educationaltype of writingthereis: it'stheonlywayof
makinglaymenappreciatescientificmethod. But let'Snot get intothis;
let merather showyou nclassic example.This is fromaReader'sDigest
article onpenicillin byI.
D.RaiCliff:Thestoryofpenicillinbeginsin1929, whenDr. Ale",ander
Fleming ...was examining nglass culture platemilky with millions of
bacterin. His sharp eye detectedsomething. Therewasn
neckofgreenmoldontheplnte,andaroundthis fleckwns ahnlo of
cleMIluid. Sometlling82 HowTOWJ.JT'E. Sl'EAC. ANDTruNK MaRl!.
E!PPI!.CTlVI!.LYwar dtstroyinCthebacterial Amoldthat
haddroppedinfromtheair wascawingtheir suddendeathon
anun-precedented scale ..Dr. Fleming fished out the mold but
researchonitstoodstill for tenyears....Then
thesulfadrugscamealongtoreawnkeninterest inthisfield.The sulfa
drugs were amozing perConners againstsomebacterial diseaSC!; sorry
failuresagainst others. Somethingbt:tter was needed.... Dr.
HowardFlorey ofOxCordre-memberedFleming's work. Thai greenmoldwas
poisontobacteriaonculture plales. Might it not
alsoworkinthebodiesofmen?Floreyand his colleague! .. deeided
toinvestigate.They settoworkat thetedious. taskof
growingthegreenmold ineanhen-wnre flasks. When the mold
hudgrownintoahard, rubberymllt
thechemiststookover.Hiddensomewhereinthemoldwusabacteriakiller.By'
a stowprocess of elimination, the cbemists dis-carded chemical
components of the mold that had noantibacterial elTeet. Inthe
endtheyturned upwith theminutest pinch of ayellow-brown powdery
stuff. Thismight be the bacteriamurderer.Thefirst trialsof
theyellowpowder wererunintesttubes. ItappearedIhatas linleas one
panin160 millionwould slowthe growth of bacteria!. This
lookedsplendid. But there was still a big hurdle to overcome.
TIlestuff somehow poisoned microbes. Might it not
alsopoisonmen?Floreyandhis helpers ...shot huge doses of
surestreptococcus. death into SOmice. Then the miceweredividedinto
two groups of 2S cacho One group would getnofurtherattention; the
other wouldget penicillin.Within 17hoursnil the unprotected mice
weredead . Hundreds of other micetrials followed, with
similarlyfavorable results.At laslFloreywas ready10
carryhisworkfrommiCeto men..And50on. Thisissciencefor laymen at
itsbest, andit',writtenintypical ReDder'sDigest manner, sothat
anaveragepersonCllI1 understandit. But I hopeyourealizethat it is
apiece of what might be called science appreeilltion, not
ofscientific explnnntion. It does not even have the
chemicalCANSCIENCEDeEXPLAINED? 81fonnula (orpenicillininit.
Inshort, (romascientist's pointof view, it offersnoexplanationat
all.Toexplainsciencefully, asIsaidbefore. youwill
havetouseathirdlevel ofexplanation,
andthisiswherethelaymanwillnever beable tokeepupwith you. Suppose,
for instance,youareasked for aneltplanationof what retene is, and
!.he5nc)'c1apaedia Britannicagivesyouthefollowingclue:RETENI!, an
aromatic hydrocarbon occurring in woodtarsIUld obtainedby
distilling resinous woods. Il
crystallisesincolourlessplatesmeltingat 98.50Cand boilingat 3940C.
Chromic acid oltidises !.he hydrocarbon to retenequinone (an
ortlrodiketone) and permanganate oxidisesthe quinone to
1-hydroltyjsopropyldiphenyl-l: I ':2'-tricarboxylic acid. These
reactions showthat retene ismethyl-isopropylphenanthrene,ClllHu
,with!.headjacentstructural formula.Plainly, there is no wayof
really telling nlayman whatreleneis. Tounderstand it, withor
without simplelanguage.youhave 10beachemist,
andIhat'sthat.Thereisonlyonebit of advice1 canoffer
inthisbusinessofgiving laymen an exact scientific explanation:
don't try.It is farbeller to be asfrankas BertrandRussell inhis
popularexplanation of the relativity!.hoory, who saysat onepoint: .
this part can be expressed by the method
of"tensors.';Theimportanceof thismethodcanhardly beexaggerated; it
is, however, quile impossible toexplainit in non-mathematical
terms.Or, if youarcunfortunateenough tobe assigned
tosuchanimpossiblejob, you might add somesort of apology,
thewayGaveHambidgedidinlhe 1941 Yearbook 0/ Agricul-ture:.. The
editorwouldliketo pointout that to visualizeeventhemore
elementaryaspects of atmospheric circula-tionover tbeearthisnot
easy,since youhavetoimaginethat youarcamileor lWO upill the air, on
yourstomachwith your head toward the North Pole,
nclocknearbylyingonits backsoyoucanreadilytell which is clock-wise
and whichcounter-clockwise rotation-also a mirrorsoyou
canseeboweverythingwouldbereversed ifyou84 HowTOWarm, S p ~ .
ANDTnrm: MOREEP'PI!.CllVELYwere in the SoUlhem instead of the
Northem Hemisphere,andyouhaveto rememberCOMlantlythat
asouthwindisanorthward-movingwind, aneast wind 11 westward-moving
wind,and viceversa.Cllapter Ten.Il FORREADABILITYAndnowlei'Sget
downtobrasslacks.Supposeyou are facingsomcbread-andbuller
writingjob-liketheEmployee ManuIII of the Wondrous Widget
Com-pany-and you wllnt 10 apply wbat I'veloldyousofar
inthisbook.Here is what you do:First, make sure youknowfor whom
youarc writing. Ha.ve8look at your prospective readers. Talkto
Ihem. Find outwhat theyknow, what theydon't know, andwhat
theywant10 know. Takeyour ownprivate opinionpoll onthe
queslionsandanswerstheyhave intheirminds. Usethe results: wrileCor
your readersandnobodyelse.Now collect your material. Get allihe
informationyou need;pay special attention to lillie tbings that
will add color andbumanLook out for humanlouches likethefact
thatoldChristopherCrusty, thefounderof thefum, was
laidupwithpoisonivywhenthe millionth Wondrous Widget rolledoff the
assemblylinc.Then, whenyou haven11 the Sluff you need,
SlOpforawhileanddo somethingelsc. Calchup
wilhyourorworkonanQ(hernssignmentfor II couple ofdays.
Giveyourunconscious achance.When you are ready tostart writing,
youwill probably haveat least oneideafor an"angle"or a"piaL" Maybe
youcanbuildyourmanual aroundthelifeof MatthewMumble, whobasjust
finished his fiflieth year as assislant bookkeeper; oryou can
describe the first day at work of BellyBrandnewwhohas just
beenhiredasa typisl. Or mnybe that sort of thingdoesn't suit your
purposc; but rome kind of bnsic structurewill. Theremust benwayfor
youtowritesomethingpeoplearcgoingto read-notjust aheapoffacts.8S86
HowTOWIUTt!, Srux, .umTUINe MORIl EFFECTIVELYOnceyouhavegottenthat
far, itwill beeasytofigureoutwhat shouldcome ftrst llnd what last.
Don't makethat oldmistakeandstart your EmployeeManual with four
pagesonhowthecompanygot off toaslowslart in 1853. Start
withsomethinginterestingandpromising; windupwithsomethingthe reader
will remember.Asyouwrite, makesurethere's plentyof
narrativeandIIgooddeal of dialogue. Thereshould belivepeople
inyourbooklet. When youtalkaboutthe company, saywe; when youtalk
about theemployee, say YOII. There's noexcusefor
theItis-expected-that-Employees-of-the-Company-shaUschool
ofmanualwriting.And nowdosomething about your sentences and
words.Short sentencesareeasytowrite. Remember that
compoundsentences-thosc withandsand buts-arenot sobad;
goafterthecomplex sentences. Lookforthe joints
wheretheconjunc.!ions arc--il, becallse, 41'. llnd so
on-nndsplityoursentencesup. If youfeel thismakesyour
styletoochoppy, changethepunctuation. There'salot that canbedone
withsemicolons,for instance. "I have raised the semicolon to its
zenith,"AlCJl:ander Woollcoll oncewrole. CllnyOll say
thesame?Shortwordsarchardertomanage. Again, it'snot
thelongwordthat'sthetrouble, but the complexword. Lookout
forprefixes andsuflixcs-syl1ableslikepre. re, or de,
andality.Ollsness. or ization. Words with these syllablesarc those
to splitor replace. Doit consistentlyand you'll besurprisednt
theresults.Prohablyit won't beeasy for you to express yourself
inshort, simplewords. You:ray themeveryday, but
theydon'tcometoyouwhenyousit downtowrite, This is
whereyouneedhelp--deviccs, tricks, rules. Herearea few:Firstofall,
getyourself a dictionaryof 'simple synonyms. Idon't mean anordinary
bookof synonyms, nnd I certainlydon't menDRoget's Thesaurus.
(Ifyoupicksynonymsoul ofRogel, youwill poisonyourstyleinnotime.)
What I meanis a dictionnrywhere words are explainedbythesimplest
pos-sible definitions. Ordinary dictionariesdon'tdothat; the
oneIrecommend 10 you is the Thomdike-Barnharl High
SchoolDictionary.Let'ssayyouwant touscThorndike10 improve this
sen-tence in your manual: "The CompanycncoUnlges the
con-tinuededucationofstaffmembersofall rankstosupplementthe
practical training and experience acquired duringofficehours."R FOk
READARIUTY 87LookupthekeywordsinthissentenceinThorndike. Youwill
find: urgecontinue keepupsupplelnent add 10acquire gel orgainNowuse
Ihesesimpler wordswith weand)'OU:
"Weuraeyoutokeepupyoureducationandaddtothepractical
trainingandexperienceyougetduringofficehours."Thisgives youa fair
idea what Thorndike will dotoimprove your style.But youdon't even
have to use Thorndike to find simplDsynonyms. I shallgiveyou11 sort
of miniatureThorndike
rightberellndnow.Mysimplewordfindercomesinthreeparts-threelistsofwords.
Ifyouuse these three lists conscientiously and fully,your slylewill
soonlose itsheaviness andbegintolooklikethegirl in aSuccess School
advertisement otter.Thefirst list consists of"empty words."
Thesearcpanicles-prepositions.conjunctions. adverbs.
elc.-thalbelongtotheSlnlcture of the language. When you remember
that tbesewordsmakeup more than 50per cent of all the words youusc,
youwill understandthat it makes atremendous differencewhether they
aresimpleor elaborate. Followtherulethat ingeneral one"empty"word
is better thantwo or three. and
ashanoneisbellerthanalongone.Ifyoucanget
ridofthe"empty"wordaltogether, somuchthebetter, of course. Hereis
myJist:Too bell\-")' prepositions and conjunctionsolongthe lines
0/: likeasto: about (or leaveout)lorpurpose0/: forlorretuon 11101:
since, becausefromtilepoint ofview0/:forinasmuchas: since,
becausein favor of: for, toin ordu to: 10inaccordancew;t": by,
underinthe case0/: ifintlteevenl tltal:
ifint"eflalUre0/:likein'''eneighborhood0/: about88 HowTOWRITE,
SPEAJ:, A!'o1) nlfmc MaRl! EFFECTIVELYin terms of: in, for(or
leaveout)onIhebasisof:byontilegrollndsIhat:since, becauseprior to:
beforewithaview/0:towith reference to: about (or
leaveout)wilhregard/0: about (orleaveout)withIherCJ1I11 thai:
SOthatToo heavyconnectivesaccordingly: socOlIScqllently:50forthis
reason: sofurthermore: thenhence: soinaddition: besides,alsoindeed:
infactlikewise:and, alsomort! specifically:
forinstance,forexamplemoreover: now, nextnevertheless: but,
howeverthat is10 :ray: inotherwordsthllS: sotobeSlIre: of courseAnd
here are three more words that are almost alwayss u p e r
~fluous:concernedillvolvedrespectively(Example; "Theemployees
concerned should consult thesupervisorsinvolved, respectively.")My
second list consists oC auxiliary verbs. Thisone works onthe
principlethat themorenaturnlllndidiomatic EnglishgelS,the more it
expresses ideas by auxiliary verbs, Take, for instance,
thispassagefromanemployeemanual: "Withaview10 broadening the
indh'iduar5 training and increasing hisknowledge of the Company's
organization, operations andservice, membersof lhestall
areselectedperiodicallyfor ad-vancedtraining.
Theselrainingprogramsarcdesignedtogivethe individual anopportunity,
. ," etc. What youwouldsay~ something like this: "We'd like to help
)'011 add to yourB FOIt RUDJr.DIU1Y 89training and get to know the
company better ... Our advancedtrainingprogramsare meant 10
giveyouIhe opportunity ..."etc. Soyouseethat ordinarilyyouusea10lof
suchwordsaslike10, Bet 10, and m ~ a n 10. Hereismylist:aim10b ~
apt tobeboundtobeknown10besupposedtocare10claim/0gel to (got
to)happen10hate10havetohelp --ingkup --ingliketomean
tomind-ingpfantoseem10SlOP --ingIISt(d) towant 10Mythirdlist isthe
longest. Maybeitneedsa little explana-tion. It'salist of simple
verbsthaI describemovemen\Sof thehumanhody, witha lislof
adverbsthat cnnbecombinedwiththem. Verb-adverbcombinations are
aspecillityof the Eng-lishlanguage; it's whnt thelanguage naturally
uses when itneedsanewe:tpressionforanewidea. Thinkof thewar andof
breaklhroughs, blackouts and pinup girls. Or think
ofsportsandofline,"p, strike-out, andlouchdown. Or thinkoftryout
andstandin, walk-on and close.up, checkoDand S;I-down.Of course all
kindsof verbs canbe combincd withall kindsofadverbs, but most
important areagroupofshort Anglo-Saxonverbs thaI deal with
movements of Ihe humanbody.Theyllt"ethemOSt
idiomalicwordsinthelanguage; Ibereisatheory that they are also the
oldest-those all others stemfrom. \Vhetber that'strue ornol,
thefact remainsthat prac-tically all abstraci ideas can be
expressed by one of theseverbs, either by itself or combined
withanadverb. Translatingbigh-soundingabstractions intosuch words
asset upor 1011throughisafascinatinggame.Mylist
conHlinsfiftyverbsandtwentyadverbs. Not
everyverbcanbecombinedwitheveryadverb, orcoursc;but whatwith
different meanings in different contexts, the lisl coversabout a
thousand abstract ideas. So it really is a
miniatureThorndikedictionlit)'.90 HowTOWRITE,SPEAK, ~ N D
TIIlNKMORI! EpPECTNELYVerbs AdverbsbearCOslip ahom forthblowllimg
split across illbreakholdstand aheadoUbringkeepslay along
00callloySlick opuff 0111carry'"slfike around over, ~ ,look
takeasidethroughcalchmaketalk away logethercome picktetlf hack
IInder'a'pull throw down opdoPllSh
liedrawpmtouclldriverllnflITndrop'"walkfail
shakewearC"showworkgiveskipThis list will nOI onlymake your words
s'impler but willforce you tostreamline your senlences loa. You'll
learntorelyonverbs rather thannouns and adjectives.
Psychologistshaveusedthenlliobetweenadjectivesnndverbsfor
years10measure the forcefulness of writing; writingICllchers have
beenpreaching thegospel of thc active verbever since
anybodycanremember.Themaintrouble withmost current writingis thai
it con-sistsof nothingbut nounsandadjectives,
gluedtogetherwithprepositions or withis, was, are, and were. Here
are a fewrandomexamples:Ahistorian: "His[CharlesA.
Beard's)atlackontheconse-quences of interventionis
notaccompaniedbyanydemonstra-tionof
thefeasibilityofisolation."Aneconomist:
"Aproblemwhichhasdeadlockedtopcor-porate and union officials with
no prospect of satisfactorysolution is the determination of the
appropriate subjects forcollectivebargainingandthedefinition of
spheresof authoritywhich are of sole concern to management. Rulings
of theNational Labor Relations Board have not been helpful
indrawing alineof demarcation between those matters whichare
bargainableand
thosewhichremainthesolefunctionofman:lgement."AnEnglishteacher:
"Marcel Proust's vividdescriptionofnFOR READADrLITY 91the
longtrainofrecollectionsinvokedbythetasteandsmellof a little cake
dipped in tea, in Remembrance of TlIingsParI, istheultimate
expressionofthe tremendously importantroleplayedby associative
processes arising fromre-experienc-ing asensory
impressionwhichwasoriginally associatedwitha powerful emotion."A
biologist: "Modem taxonomy is the product of increasingaWllJ'eness
amongbiologistsoftheuniqueness of individuals,and the wide range of
variation which may occur in anypopulationof individuals. The
taxonomist is, therefore, pri.marilyconcerned withthemeasurement of
variationin serie!of individuals which stand asrepresentatives
ofthespeciesinwhichheis interested."(This last
exampleistakenfromthe Kinseyreport SexualBehavior
inIheHumanMale-whichseemstoprovethat itwasn't exactly readability
thatmadeit abest-seller.)Nowletmedoa littletranslating with
myverbadverblist:"He lakes asland against intervention and what il
bringsabout, butbe doesn't show bow wecouldhave gal
alongwilhisolation."-"Management andlaborhave beentrying
tosetdownrules for what shouldbeworkedOUI
bycollectivebar-gainingandwhat shouldslayundertheauthority
ofmanage-ment alone. But they aredeadlocked and it doesn't lookas
if areal solutionisgoingtoturnliP soon..."etc.H sohappens that
these four passages alsocontain excellentexamples on twoother
points. One is the question of theprepositionat
theendofthesentence. Take"thespeciesinwhichheisinterested."People
don't talkthat way. Theysay"the species he's interested in."
Putting prepositions at theend of sentencesis one ofthe
thingsthatwill unfailinglyturnstiff prose into idiomatic
English.Thepreposition at theendis one of thegloriesof
Englishprose. Originally itwasattackedby grammariansfor
thesillyreasonthat preposifio, in Latin,means something that
"comesbefore"; andwhenpeoplerealizedthat Latinrules don't always
work in English. they defended the oldrule for theeqUally silly
reasonthat a preposition gets too muchemphasi5attbe end of a
sentence. Thetruthis, of course,that theEng-lishlanguageis
capableof
fusingaprepositionandanotherwordtogetherwhenevertheyarccloselyjoined
bythemean-ingof thesentence. Thewordin, inthe
sentence[romtbeKinseyreport, maybegrammaticallypart of thephrase
inwhich, but for the speaker of thesentence it is part of
theexpressioninterestedin.Which is why the President of the
National Council of92 HowTOWIlI11!t SPEAK, M1l TulNX
MORBEpPI!CTfVIlU'Teachers of Englishrecently called a"a good
wordtoend a sentence wilh" and why Winston ChurchiJI, whensuch an
"error"waspoinledout tohim, answered: 'Thisisthe Iype of arrant
pedllnllY. up wi!b which 1shallnot pUL"Andwhat would Englishprose
be without senlences like Hewasanexecutive whoknewwhal he war
talkingabout. Hecouldtllusbe arguedwith, not mutleredat or The
averageAmericanhar afixedideathat liverandironaresubstancuheought
tobe gettingmoreof?ThefOUf passages onpages90, 91,
arealsogoodell:amplesfor Ihe difference belween thaI tlOd which.
There are eightwlllchn in Ihose senlences-all of themmisused. In
good,idiomaticEnglishitshouldbeAproblemthat has
deadlockedandspheres0/ authority rlwt oreand those matUrs that
areandthosetllat remainandasensoryimpression tll"ot wasandIhe wide
ranee 0/ wJriation tltal may and individuals thatslnndand,
ofcourse, thespecies heisinterestedin. Theruleis this: Whichshould
be usedin a "nonrestriclive" clause tbatcould, without damage, be
lefl OUI orpUI between p3fcmheses;whenever you can't do that, !be
clauseis.. aodyoushouldusethat.Nowyou will saythat after
ridiculingother grammaticalrules I suddenly turn into a stickler
for tbe that-andwhichrule. But wait aminute.
That'sexactlytbemistakethe"pro-gressive" gnunmari4tUare mmng. They
see th:n which isused insteadoflhat all over theplaceand
sotheyproclaimthai the ruleshould be thrown into lhe ashcan with
all theother outmoded rules.DUIthe situationhereIs quite different.
Thisisn't a cllseof ngrass roots movement agllinst nstrict
grammlllical rule. It'sexactlytheotherwayround. Thenatural
idiomistousetllalfor "restrictive"clauses; il always has
beenandstill is. Theuseof which insteadof that has beendragged into
the lan-gullgebythewriters, Iheliterati, lbeclerks.in
hisEssentials0/ EnglishGrammar, says: "Which, .. has
beengaininggroundat theexpenseof that, chieflyinlbe IllSt
fewcenturiesandin themon: pretentiouskindsofliterature. QDeofthe
reasonsfor thispreferencewas prob:ably th:at [which]reminded
classical scholars of thecorresponding Latin pro-noun.
WhenAddisoninthe Spectator complainsoftheinjurydonerecently10
..whichbythe'Jacksprat' lhat, he turnsall historical
truthtopsy-lurvy, for lllat wasre:allythefavoriterelativeword in
literature fromthe MiddleAges on; but indeferencetohis
erroneousviewof thehistorical developmentR FOR READABIUTY
93hecorrectedmanya natural rhat into II less natural
which,whenheeditedthe Spectator in book-form."WhenI readthis, I
naturallylookedtbematter upinAd-dison. Sureenough, Jespersenwas
right: theoriginal versionssound morenaturalin everysinglecase.
Hereis one example:A screeeh-owl at
midnighthasnlllrmedafllmilymorethan D. bandof robbers; nay,
thevoiceof n cricket hathstruck morelerror than the roaringof
alion. Thereisnothingsoinconsiderable that maynot appear
dreadfultoanimaginationthat isfilled
withomensandprognos-tics.That's thewayit
originallyappearedintheSpectator: inthebook edition Addison left it
imagination that is filled butchangedit to tzothil11: so
inconsiderable. whichmaynot appeardread/ufo Heshouldn't have; the
sentence was perfect as itstood.Addison, however, WliS anexception.
Usuallywriters. liketheauthors of thefour examples J quoted, pepper
their sen-tences with unnatural whiehes rightfromthestart.
Whentheydofindout about thedistinction. it isoften areal
revelationto themand they tum into determined wllieh-hunters
andthat-fans. WilsonFollelt,forinstance, who once rana columnon'1be
Stateo[ the Language" in the Atlantic. wrote thathewas a
which-writer until lale in life, when he was
"con-verted"and"sawIhelight." AndH. W. Fowler tells us thatLord
Morley, when he prepared a revisededition of his works,"was
particularlykeenon having the word which, whereverthere was the
possibility, exchanged for that . ,"After readingall this, youwill
sturtwllicll-lmntingyourself,I hope. You willfindita pleasant
andrewardingindoorsport.Chapter
ElevenDEGREESOFPLAINTALKPopularizalionis ... myslerious
business.InNovember, 1941, theJOllrnal 0/
theAmericanMedicalAssocIallon printed apaper by Drs. Rovenstine ond
Wertheim,inwhich the aUlhors reported ona newkind of
anesthesiacalled
"therapeuticnerveblock."Thiswasobviouslyofinter-est todoctors, but
nobodybotheredtotell thegeneral publicaboutiLThenerveblockwas not
thenconsiderednews.Six years later, thepopular magazines broke
outintn a rashof nerve-block articles. On October 25, 1947, Tire
New Yorkerbeganathree-panprofileof Dr. Rovenstine; twodays
later,LI/epublished a four-pagepicture-sloryof his work.
Othermagazines followed. Suddenly, the nerve block bad
becomesomethingeverybodyougbt toknowabout.I cameacrossthis
mysterywhenI waslookingfor agoodexampleof what populariUltion does
to language and style.The nerveblock articles Bre perfect
specimens. On its wayfromtheA.M.A. JOllrtlnlto Li/elind The
NewYorker, thencwmethod of anesthesia underwent a
completechangeofcoloring, lone, andstyle. Astudyof
Ihethreellrticles is
acomplctecourseinreadabilitybyitself.Onthefollowingpages are
excerpts[romthethreearticles.Nothinghasbeen changed:butto show
clearlythe differencesin sentence length, I have put I between
thesentences,andtoshowthedifferences inhumaninterest, I have put
the ' ~ r .sonal words" (see page ]O]) in boldface and the
"personalsentences" (seep. ]04, 30S) initalics. (You will notice.
thedifference in word length without my pointingit up.)This is the
beginning of "Therapeutic Nerve Block" byE. A. Rovenstine, M.D.,
andH.M.Wertheim, M.D. (Journal01theAmtricanMedical Assocja/Ion,
vol. 117, no. 19, Nov.8,1941):94DECiRl!ESOFPUtN TAU 95"Therapeutic
nerve block" is but one of the manyramifications of regional
analgesia.! The hisloryof theintroductionanddevelopment
ofperineural injectionsofanalgesic and neurolyticagents fortherapy
coincides withthat of similartypesof injectionstocontrol
thepainas-sociatedwithsurgical procedures.! Theuse of
surgicalanalgesic nerve blocks has eclipsedby far similar
pro-cedures employedtocureor alleviatepainor
symptomsresultingfromdiseaseor injury .. JThe paper ends
asfollows:The moslinteresting and probably more promising
nndfruitful results fromtherapeutic nerve blockingare thetechnics
for interrupting sympathetic pathways withanalgesic or neurolytic
solutions.! This reeeot practicehas
alreadygainedwideapplicationandproducedmanyfa.vorable reports.!
Acomparison of the value of thechemical destruction of
sympatheticpathways or surgicalsectioncannot bemadenccuratelywith
present knowl-edge andexperience, but there are indications tbat
formany conditions theformer aretobepreferred.!Interruption of the
sympatheticpathways al the stellateganglionis used10cure
hyperhidrosis of Iheupper ex-tremity.! Iti5useful
10relievesympathalgiaofthefaceand causalgia.!It has been employed
successfully to treatposHraumatiespreadingneuralgia,
thepainofamputa-tionstumps andvasomotor disturbances.!
Thetreatmentofanginapectoris after medical remedieshavefailed
10relieve painisnow concededtoinclude alcoholinjectionsof theupper
thoracicsympatheticganglions.!
Thesameprocedurehasbeeneffectiveincontrollingor
alleviatingthedistressingpain fromananeurysmoCthearch
orthedescending aona.!Interruption of the tmbar sympathetic
pathways isin-dicatedCor
conditionsinthelowerextremitiessimilartothoseenumeratedfortheupperextremities.!
Thisthera-peutic nerve hlock has been employed also to
treatthrombophlebitis of the lower extremity.! The resultsfromthese
injections have been dramaticand largely suc-cessrulJ Not onlyis
the painrelievedimmedialely butthe whole procCS! subsides
promptly.! This remedyrepre-sents somuchof animprovement over
previous thera-peutic efJons that il sbould be used whenever
theconditiondevelops.!96 HowTOWRI'I'E, SPEAK. ANDTlIINK:
MOREEFFEcnv.ELYIn Life (October 27, 1947) the article about the
nerveblockcarriedtheheadingPAIN-CONTROL CLINICNew York doctors ense
suDering byblocking00 nerves wi/h
drugs.Eightpictureswereaccompaniedbythefollowing text:Except in
thefieldof surgery, control of pain is
stillverymuchintheprimitivestages.! Countless thousandsof
patientssufTerthe tortures ofcancer, angina pectorisandother
distressingdiseaseswhile their physicians arcbelpless to relieve
tJlem.! Abig step toward help forthese sufferers is now being made
with a treatmentknown as nerve-blocking.! This treatment, which
con-sists of putting a "block" between the source of painandthe
brain, is not anewtherapy.! But its potentiali-tiesarejust
nowbeingrealized.! Usingbetterdrugsandawiderknowledgeofthe
mechanicsofpain gaineddur-ing and since the war, Doctors E. A.
Rovenstine andE. M. Papller of the NewYork University College
ofMedicine hnve been able to helptwo-thirds of
thepatientsacceptedfor treatment intJleir"painclinic"al
BellevueHospital.!The nerve-block treatment is comparatively
simpleand doesnot have serious aftereffects.! It merely
involvestheinjectiono[nnanestheticdruglllongthepatho[ thenerve
carrying pain impUlses fromthe diseased or in-juredtissue tothe
bmin'! Although its action issimilartothai ofspinal
ane'sthesiausedinsurgery, nerveblockgenerallylastsmuchlonger
andisonlyoccllsionally usedfor operations.! The N.Y.V. doctors have
found it erfective in II wide range of diseases, including
anginapectoris, sciatica, shingles, neuralgia llndsomeforms
orcancer.! Relief is not alwayspermanent, but usuallytheinjection
canberepeated.! Some anginapectorispatientshavehadrelief for
periodsranging fromsix months totwo years.! While recognizing Ihat
nerve block is nopaDllcea, the doctors feel that results obtained
in caseslike thatof MikeOBlrQich(next page) willmeana muchwider
application inthe near future.!DEGREESOFPU,rNT.... u:
97TheNewYorker (October 25, 1947) inits
profileofDr.Rovcnstinedescribesthenerve block like
this:....Recently, he [Rovenstine} devoted a fewmin-utes
torelievinga free patient inDellevueof a paininanarmtbat hadbeencut
off several yearsbefore.! Thevictimof thisphantompainsaidthat
tbetendons achedandthat hi, fingerswereclenchedsobardbecouldfcelhi.
nails digging into hie palm.! Dr. Rovemtine'. a,s..sistant, Dr. E.
M. Pllpper. reminded Rovenstine that
abundredandfiftyyearsagothecurewouldhavebeentodigupthemao'l:um, if
itsburial placewasknown, andstraighten out tbe hand.! Rovenltine
smiled.! "/ tellyou," he said.! "We'll use a two-per-t;cnt solution
01p r o c a i ~ , andif it works, inacouple0/wukswe'Ugoon
withanalcohol solution.! Procaine, youknow, lastsa couple 0/ weeks,
alcollol six months or 10llger.! Inmosl cases01 Ihissorr, [
lisetilenerveblockoriginatedbyLabal around1910 andimproved
oninNewOrleansabout tenyeanback, plusone or
twoimprovisations0/myown.'" (Nerveblockingisamethod
ofanesthetizinganervethai is transmiuingpain.) Rovenstinedoes
littleanesthetizing himedf these days, except when be
isdemonstrating hiBmethods at hie lectures.! He carriesonlya small
practice outsideBellevue.! Ifbeiscalledinonroutine cases,
beasksextremelyhighfees.! He pro-ceedsontheprinciplethat a
personwhowanls bimtobandlea routineoperationought topaywell for
bim.!Ifhe is askedtoapplyhiBspecialized knowledge toanunwual case,
lie doesn't care what the fee is.! Like agreat manyother doctors,
he feels that onlymillionairesandindigenlsget decent medical care.!
Peopleof thesetwoclassesareIheonlyoneswhofeel that
theycancallontbeleadingsurgeonsandRovenetine.The monwiththepain in
Ihe non-existcnt handwasan indigent,
andRoven&linewasworkingbeforealargegallery of student
anesthetists and visilors whenbe ex-orcised lhe ghoststhat
werepaining him.! Some of thespectators, though they felt awed,
also felt inclined togiggle.! Eventrainedanesthetistssometimesgel
intothisstate during nerve-block demonstrations because of
thetensenesssuchfeats of magic induce inthem.!
Thepa-FromanBrticleby MarkMurphyinThe NewYorlur.
Copyriahl1941ThBNewYorker Mll.8wneInc.98 HowTOWJ.JTE. SPEAI,
ANDTnn.'l: MoRS. EFFECTMU.Ytient. thin, starknalced, andanobvious
product ofpov-ertyandcheapginmills, WIl5
DervOUSandratherapolo-getic wbenbe WIl5 brought intotheoperating:
theatre.!He lay face downon the operating table.! R017enstinllhas
an easy manner wilhpatlent$, and (U his thick, $tubbyhands roamed
over the man's back, he gently asked,"HowyoudoinlJ?"/ "Myhand, it
u0/1dosedtogetller,Doc," Ihe man arr.rwered, $tarzledand evidently
a littleploud01theattentionheWtu senins./ "You'UbeO.K,soon,"
RoveTUtine $oid. and lurned 10 the audience.!"One 01mygreotest
contributions tomedicoi $ciencehas been the use 01'he ~ e b r o w
pencil," he$Qid./ Betookonefoomthepocket of bit whitesmockandmadea
series of marks onthe patient'S back, Dearthe shoulderof the
o.mputated o.rm, so Ihal thespectators could seeexactly where he
was going to work.! With a syringeandneedleberaisedfour smo.lI
wealsontheman'Rbackandthenshovedlongneedlesinlotheweals.!
Themanshuddered but said be fclt no pain:/ RovenBtinc thenattached
asyringe 10the first needle, injected the pro--cainesolution,
unfastenedthesyringe, attachedit tothenext needle, injectedmoreof
thesolution, and soon.!The patient'sfacebegantorelillt alittle'!
"Lord, Doc."he said. "My hand is loosenins up abit already."/
"You'llbe all rishl by tonisht, JtlJink," Rovelutinc said.!
HowaTUlNK MORE EFFECTIVELYthat you are going to write it all over
3gain. Pretendthat whalyouwrileis justllnote, 11 fragment,
anOibing.Only getstarted.Thisis rehu:ed "'riling. Look :tr
thewonderfulllrtistry wilh whichLeacockproducesthe quol:trion "He
wrotea fine History of Greece theother day." There it is, in
themiddleof apar:lgCllph, havingjust popped out of nowhereinto
StephenLeacock'smindand llsed immediately to brightenthe whole
page. Imagine yourself trying to "work in" suchan anecdote. You
would take three paragraphs for it,
awk-wardlybeginningwith"Thisremindsme of .. :' :mdwindingupwith
alame"Thus wesee...."Or look at Ihecontent of these three
parngrnphs. If youSlOp to analyze it, Leacock was actunlly
sidctracked. Hestartedtogive advice on howto begin, then got off on
a tangentabout his academic frienth who drenmed of vast
scholarlyprojects. and thcn had 10 backtrack tohis originnl
subject.But does it mailer?That's Iheway theoldmanwould
hnveexplained the business 10an amateur writer whohad cometo
seehim, andhisramblingthreeparagraphsonhow10 startapiece of writing
arc still meatier and more valuable thananythingtenlimesascompact
that youwould findinatext-book.For still another example, here is
seventy-three-yenr-oldMark Twnin. writing, writing, wriling,
fillinghis autobiographywith whatever happcn5 to interest him. One
part of it iscalled"IsShakespcnre Dead?" and deals with the
perennialquestionofwhowrote the plays. MarkTwain
wasconvincedthntdid nOl. Here is one chapter of his argu-ment.
(Thiswill bethelongest quotntionin Ihis book, but Ifeel
it'sworthwhiletogiveyouafewpagesof MarkTwain.Tolearnthe an of
leisurelywriting, you oughl 10do. someleisurelyreading.)When
Shakespe:tre died. in 1616, gTCal lilerary pro-ductionsanribuled10
himasauthorhadbeenbeforeIhelondonworld and in high favor for
twenty-four years.Yet his death was nOI an evenl. It made nostir,
it at-tracted no anemion. Apparently his eminent
literarycontemporariesdidnOI realizethaia celebr, SPEAK,
ANDTJllNICMORI! EFFI!CTIVI!tylife in thevillage where hewas bornand
renred, Wll!lable to slip out of this world and leave that
villngevoiceless and gossipless behind him-utterly
voiceless,utterlygossipless? And permanently so1 I don't believeit
has happened inanycaseexcept Shakespeare's. Andcouldn't and
wouldn't have happenedinhis case if hehadbeenregardedasa celebrity
at the time ofhisdeath.WhenI examinemy own case-but letus do that,
andseeif it will not be
recogniznbleasexhibitingaconditionoftbingsquite likely10 result,
most likelytoresult,indeedsubstantiallysuretoresult
inthecaseofacele--hratedperson, a benefactor ofthe humanrace. Like
me.My parents brought me to the village of Hannibal,Missouri, on
the banks of theMississippi, whenI wastwoandahalfyears old. I
enteredschool at fiveyearsof age, anddriftedfromonescbool toanother
in thevillage during nine and a half years. Then my fatherdied,
leaving his family in exccedingly straitenedcumstances; whereforc
my book-cducation came to /lstandstill forever, and I became a
printer's npprenticc,onboardandclothes,
andwhcntheclothesfniledIgotahymn-bookinplaceofthem. This for summer
wear,probably. I lived inHannibal fifteen and nhalf
years,nllogether, thenran away, accordingtothe
customofpersonswhoarcintendingtobccomccelebrated. [neverlivedthcre
afterward.Four yearslatcr 1 became a"cub"on a Mississippi steamboat
in the St. Louis and NewOrleanstrade,
nndafterayearandahalfofbardstudyandhardworkthe U.S. inspectors
rigorouslyexaminedme through a couple oflongsiltings
anddecidedthatI kneweveryinchofthe
Mississippi-thincenhundredmiles-in the darkandin theday-aswell as a
babyknows the way to its molber's paps dayor night.
Sotheyliccnsedmeasapilot-knightedme, so10 speak-and I rose up
clothed with authority, a responsibleservant oftheUnitedStates
Government.Now then. Shakespeare died young-he was only
fi{ty-tv.'o. Hehadlivedinhisnalivevillagetwenty-sixyears,oraboul
that. Hediedcelebrated(ifyoubelievethingyoureadinlhebooks).Yet
whcnhediednobodythereorelsewheretookany notice of it; and{or
sixtyyears afterwardno townsmanremembered tosaythingabouthimor
aboutbislifein Stratford. Whentheinquirercameat last hegot but
onefact-no, Icgend-nndgOlthat one at secondhand, {roma person
whobadHowTOBE. AF1.UI!NTWI\ITEJl 131onlyheardit as arumor anddido't
claimcopyright init as a productionof his own. He couldnt, very
well,foritsd:1teantedatedhisownbirth-date. But necessarilya number
of persons were stiUalive in Stratford who,inthedaysof their youth,
hadseenShakespearenearlyevery day in the laslfiveyears ofbi, life,
andthey wouldhavebeen able10 tell thatinquirer
somefirsthandthingsabout bim ifbehadinthD5Clast years
becnacelcbrityand apersonof interest 10the villagers. Whydidnot
theinquirer hunt themupand interviewIhem?Wasn't it worth while?
Wasn't the matter of sufficientconsequence?Had the inquirer
anengagement toseeadog-fight andcouldn't spare the time?It all
seems tomean tbat he never had any literarycelebrity,
thereorelsewhere, andnoconsiderablereputeasactoror manager.Now
then, Iamawayalongin !ife-myseventy.thirdycar being already well
behindme-yet of m}'Hannibal schoolmatesare still aliveloday, and
can tell-anddo tell-inquirersdozensanddozensofincidentsoftheir
young lives and mine together; things thai
hap-penedtousinthemorning of life, intheblossomofouryouth,
inthegooddays, thedenr day" "thedays whenwe wenl gypsying, a long
time ago," Most of themcreditable to me, too. OnechildtowhomI
paidcounwhen she was five years old and I eight still lives
inHannibal, andshevisitedmelast summer, traversingthenecessarytenor
twelve hundred miles of railroadwith-out damage to her patience or
10 her old-young vigor,Anotherlittle lnssieto whom
IpaidlluentioninHannibalwhenshewasnineyearsoldandIthe same,
isstillalive-inLondon-andhale and hearty, just as I am. Andon
thefewsurvivingstearnboats--thoselingeringghostsandremembrancers of
greatfleetsthnt pliedthehig riverin Ihe beginning of my
water-eareer-which is exactlyas long ago as the whole invoice of
the life-years ofShakespeare numbers-there are still findahle two
orthree river-pilots who sawme do credilable things inthoseancient
days; and several white-headed engineers;and several roustabouts
and mates; nnd several deckhands wboused to heave thelead for me
andsend upon thestill nigbt air the "Six-feet--scQntl" that mademe
shudder, aod the "Ma-r-k-twainl'" Ihal took theshudderaway,
andpresentlythedarling"Bythed-e-e-p-Iourt" that lifted me 10 heaven
lor joy. They know138 HowTOWRIT!!, SPEAK, ANDTUINKMaRl!
EfFECTlVELYabout me,and can tell. And so do printers. from St.
Louisto New York; and so do newspaper reporters, fromNevada to San
Francisco. And so do the police. IfShakespeare had really been
celebrated, like me, Stratfordcouldhavetoldthings about him;
andifmyexperiencegoesforanything. they'dhave done it.Isn't this
beautiful?Doyouunderstand nowwhyI calledit a prose
masterpiece?Didyounoticehowtheoldmangoesonat his ownmeasuredpace,
slowlysettingforth his argument,
seeminglywanderingfromthepoint,rambling, digress.ing, reminiscing.
andyetnailingdownhisargument sothatitbecomes
enormouslypowerful?Whenhe is through buildingup his case, he simply
stops and starts 11 newparagraph.Instead of worrying about a
smooth, elegant transition, hesimply says: "Nowthen."Later,he
hastostart llDother paragraph, containingtheclimaxof his argumelll,
andagain hesays: "Nowthen." That's all; but the reader is right
therewithhint, taking ineverywordthatisthere, listeningto
whattheoldmanbastosay,
and-perhaps-gettingconvinced.Nowthen(toborrow a phrase). What
Itriedtoshowyouwith theseexamples is the essenceof the natural.
"spoken"style ofwriting, thekindthat is producedbysimplytalkingto
your reader across thesheet of paper between you-talkingslowly,
leisurely, butwithoutawkwardsilences, withoutgoingback to
reformulllte II sentence, without ever losing touchwiththe readerat
the other end oftheline of communication.This is
thekindofwritingyouhavetolearn, andyoucan'tlearnit as longasyOll a
~ shy, nervous, inhibited. afraidofputtingyour ideas
onpaper.Soyou'll have topractice. Youcanovercome these
inhibitionsofyoursonlybypracticein writing, just as
youcanlearnpublic speakingonlybypracticeinspeaking. Theexer-cise
that followsis therefore abso/luely essential if youwanttoget full
valueout ofthis book. -EXERCISEThis exercisewill betheframeworkfor
thenext exercisesinthisbook.During theperiodof one month (two
months would beevenbetter) write adaily SOD-word letter
toaclosefriendor relative. Pick someone wholives ata distance andis
willingto help you improve your writing-your mother,
brother,HowTOBE AFLUENT WRITER 139aunt, ex-roommate, or whoever
else is the most obviouschoice. Write to that personand tell himor
her about thisdaily-letter plan. so that you'ij be committed to it.
(Don'tsubstitutemake-believe lettersor diary entries for this
exer-cise;it is essential that you actuallysendoff leitersto
someoneelse.)Herearcthe rules of thegame:1. Writeat least 500words
everyday. At first, count thewords; later you'll be ableto
estimatethenumber of words oneachpage,2. Set yourself a timelimit
of half an hour, Makeeveryeffort towrite your 500 words during that
half hour. Thatmeans, do not stop to tllink.3. Knowwhat youwant to
saybefore youstart writing,Youcanthinkof whatshouldBointoyour
lettcr at oddmo-mcnts during thcday. Makesureyou haveenough
materialbeforeyoubegin. Asa rule, report ontheeventsof theday.4,
Always write infonnl1l1y. Usc as many contractions a!possible.
Underlinefreely for emphasis. Use parentheses forcasual mention.5.
Don't beafraid todigress,Cllapter SixteenFIRSTPERSONSINGULAROneof
the most important events in the historyof writinghappened on
February 28, 1571. On that day Michel deMontaigne, a 38-year-old
French nobleman who up to thattime hadn't shown any signs of
unusual literary ambilions,suddenlyquit publiclife, left Paris
andthe Royal Court forgood, andretiredtothelibrary of his
COUntryhouse10 devotethe resl of his life to writing. Thai country
house with itslibrarystill stands and, for all I know, tourists can
go theretounyonsightsccingbuscs, Therethey canlooktit
aninscrip-tion on the wall that reads (in Lntin): "InIheyear of
ourLord 157 I, at Ihe age of Ihirty-eighl, on the last day
ofFebruary, beingtheanniversaryofhisbirth, Michel de Mon-taigne,
longwearyof theserviceof IheCourt andof publicemployments,
whilestill in his full vigor, betook himself tothe bosomof
thelearned virgins;