THEORIES OF CONFLICT Different Theories on Conflict By Brittany McComas, eHow Contributor The theory of conflict is timeless, yet conflict changes with time. Some define conflict as a struggle for social status, or for scarce resources. Conflict even arises in the form of communication. Conflict in communication is functional when norms and values of the culture are stable, and individual opinions and viewpoints are respected; however, conflict is dysfunctional when it becomes emotionally charged. With the scope of violence and technology changing dramatically in the twentieth century, knowledge of conflict different theories has increased considerably. Other People Are Reading How to Explain Conflict Perspective Consensus Vs. Conflict Theory Print this article 1. Emotional Conflict
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THEORIES OF CONFLICT
Different Theories on ConflictBy Brittany McComas, eHow Contributor
The theory of conflict is timeless, yet conflict changes with time.
Some define conflict as a struggle for social status, or for scarce resources. Conflict even arises in the form of communication. Conflict in communication is functional when norms and values of the culture are stable, and individual opinions and viewpoints are respected; however, conflict is dysfunctional when it becomes emotionally charged. With the scope of violence and technology changing dramatically in the twentieth century, knowledge of conflict different theories has increased considerably.
Other People Are Reading
How to Explain Conflict Perspective
Consensus Vs. Conflict Theory
Print this article
1. Emotional Conflicto People's aspirations and gratifications can be a host for conflict. Hostility, for
instance, in rational or non-rational behavior has a much bigger role than incompatible differences in terms of conflict. In hostility, it no longer remains
that two parties have incompatible differences or goals; it also implies both parties have resistance toward the other party's thought or principle. Rational behavior promotes a compromise of outcome. One must determine possible outcomes, payoffs of each outcome and then determine the suitable outcome for both parties. Non-rational behavior warrants a specific goal of one party, and intention to maintain that goal can get carried away by hostile emotions.
Social Conflicto The German theorist and political activist, Karl Marx, developed a theory that
emphasizes a materialistic view of history and a more critical stance toward existing social arrangements within political and economic structures of society. The Marxist view is on the materialist premise that the most important determining factor of social life is the people's labor that provides basic necessities of life such as food, clothing and shelter. Marx thought that the social organization within labor has a strong impact on all aspects of society, and maintained that everything of value in society is a result of human labor. Karl Marx's view was that working men and women create their own existence.
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Technological and Scientific Conflicto One theory of conflict involves the impact of technological and scientific
progress on social interaction within history and the homo sapien future, forcing the homo sapien to live in confusion. Scientific knowledge and inventions can lead to weak family ties that cripple social mobility because of a lack of physical communication. The quality of life, satisfaction and life standards are lowered, leading to such things as a high divorce rate. A better life through science and technology has actually increased conflict in many areas of the world under the principle of change as "modernization" or "post-modernization."
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Conflict theoryFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Education University of Toronto Press, pg. 34-6.
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Stark, Rodney (2007). Sociology (10th ed.). thomas wadsworth. ISBN 0-495-09344-0.
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Thio, Alex (2008). Sociology: A Brief Introduction (7th ed.). Pearson. ISBN 0-205-40785-4.
CONFLICT THEORY
The several social theories that emphasize social conflict have roots in the ideas ofKarl Marx (1818-1883), the great German theorist and political activist. The Marxist, conflict approach emphasizes a materialist interpretation of history, a dialectical method of analysis, a critical stance toward existing social arrangements, and a political program of revolution or, at least, reform.
The materialist view of history starts from the premise that the most important determinant of social life is the work people are doing, especially work that results in provision of the basic necessities of life, food, clothing and shelter. Marx thought that the way the work is socially organized and the technology used in production will have a strong impact on every other aspect of society. He maintained that everything of value in society results from human labor. Thus, Marx saw working men and women as engaged in making society, in creating the conditions for their own existence.
Marx summarized the key elements of this materialist view of history as follows:
In the social production of their existence, men inevitably enter into definite relations, which are independent of their will, namely relations of production appropriate to a given stage in the development of their material forces of production. The totality of these relations of production constitutes the economic structure of society, the real foundation, on which arises a legal and political superstructure and to which correspond definite forms of social consciousness. The mode of production of material life conditions the general process of social, political and intellectual life. It is not the consciousness of men that determines their existence, but their social existence that determines their consciousness (Marx 1971:20).
Marx divided history into several stages, conforming to broad patterns in the economic structure of society. The most important stages for Marx's argument were feudalism,capitalism, and socialism. The bulk of Marx's writing is concerned with applying the materialist model of society to capitalism, the stage of economic and social development that Marx saw as dominant in 19th century Europe. For Marx, the central institution of capitalist society is private property, the system by which capital (that is, money, machines, tools, factories, and other material objects used in production) is controlled by a small minority of the population. This arrangement leads to two opposed classes, the owners of capital (called the bourgeoisie) and the workers (called theproletariat), whose only property is their own labor time, which they have to sell to the capitalists.
Owners are seen as making profits by paying workers less than their work is worth and, thus, exploiting them. (In Marxist terminology, material forces of production ormeans of production include capital, land, and labor, whereas social relations of production refers to the division of labor and implied class relationships.)
Economic exploitation leads directly to political oppression, as owners make use of their economic power to gain control of the state and turn it into a servant of bourgeois economic interests. Police power, for instance, is used to enforce property rights and guarantee unfair contracts between capitalist and worker. Oppression also takes more subtle forms: religion serves capitalist interests by pacifying the population; intellectuals, paid directly or indirectly by capitalists, spend their careers justifying and rationalizing the existing social and economic arrangements. In sum, the economic structure of society molds the superstructure, including ideas (e.g., morality, ideologies, art, and literature) and the social institutions that support the class structure of society (e.g., the state, the educational system, the family, and religious institutions). Because the dominant or ruling class (the bourgeoisie) controls the social relations of production, the dominant ideology in capitalist society is that of the ruling class. Ideology and social institutions, in turn, serve to reproduce and perpetuate the economic class structure. Thus, Marx viewed the exploitative economic arrangements of capitalism as the real foundation upon which the superstructure of social, political, and intellectual consciousness is built. (Figure 1 depicts this model of historical materialism.)
Marx's view of history might seem completely cynical or pessimistic, were it not for the possibilities of change revealed by his method of dialectical analysis. (The Marxistdialectical method, based on Hegel's earlier idealistic dialectic, focuses attention on how an existing social arrangement, or thesis, generates its social opposite, orantithesis, and on how a qualitatively different social form, or synthesis,
emerges from the resulting struggle.) Marx was an optimist. He believed that any stage of history based on exploitative economic arrangements generated within itself the seeds of its own destruction. For instance, feudalism, in which land owners exploited the peasantry, gave rise to a class of town-dwelling merchants, whose dedication to making profits eventually led to the bourgeois revolution and the modern capitalist era. Similarly, the class relations of capitalism will lead inevitably to the next stage, socialism. The class relations of capitalism embody a contradiction: capitalists need workers, and vice versa, but the economic interests of the two groups are fundamentally at odds. Such contradictions mean inherent conflict and instability, the class struggle. Adding to the instability of the capitalist system are the inescapable needs for ever-wider markets and ever-greater investments in capital to maintain the profits of capitalists. Marx expected that the resulting economic cycles of expansion and contraction, together with tensions that will build as the working class gains greater understanding of its exploited position (and thus attains class consciousness), will eventually culminate in a socialist revolution.
Despite this sense of the unalterable logic of history, Marxists see the need for social criticism and for political activity to speed the arrival of socialism, which, not being based on private property, is not expected to involve as many contradictions and conflicts as capitalism. Marxists believe that social theory and political practice are dialectically intertwined, with theory enhanced by political involvement and with political practice necessarily guided by theory. Intellectuals ought, therefore, to engage inpraxis, to combine political criticism and political activity. Theory itself is seen as necessarily critical and value-laden, since the prevailing social relations are based uponalienating and dehumanizing exploitation of the labor of the working classes.
Marx's ideas have been applied and reinterpreted by scholars for over a hundred years, starting with Marx's close friend and collaborator, Friedrich Engels (1825-95), who supported Marx and his family for many years from the profits of the textile factories founded by Engels' father, while Marx shut himself away in the library of the British Museum. Later, Vladimir I. Lenin (1870-1924), leader of the Russian revolution, made several influential contributions to Marxist theory. In recent years Marxist theory has taken a great variety of forms, notably the world-systems theory proposed by Immanuel Wallerstein (1974, 1980) and the comparative theory of revolutions put forward by Theda Skocpol (1980). Marxist ideas have also served as a starting point for many of the modern feminist theorists. Despite these applications, Marxism of any variety is still a minority position among American sociologists.
Marx, Karl. 1971. Preface to A Contribution to the Critique of Political Economy, Tr. S. W. Ryanzanskaya, edited by M. Dobb. London: Lawrence & Whishart.
Skocpol, Theda. 1980. States and Social Revolutions: A Comparative Analysis of France, Russia, and China. New York: Cambridge University Press.
Wallerstein, Immanuel M. 1974. The Modern World-System: Capitalist Agriculture and the Origins of the European World-Economy in the Sixteenth Century. New York: Academic Press.
. 1980. The Modern World-System II: Mercantilism and the Consolidation of the European World-Economy, 1600-1750. New York: Academic Press.
CONFLICT THEORY & THE FAMILYDec 29, 2010 | By Linda Ray
Photo Credit Jupiterimages/Comstock/Getty ImagesConflict theory addresses the way in which people within a unit struggle for power, how they disagree and what actions they take to compete for resources. Prestige and wealth often form the basis for the most intense competitions. Instead of buying into the myth that all families are harmonious entities, conflict theory challenges those assumptions to examine the ways in which family members struggle, according to California State University.BASICS
The theory of conflict within families starts with the premise that family members undergo conflicts and disharmony. The study includes family dynamics and the roles played by various family members. The
source of the power and the causes of the conflict must be identified. Included in the conflict theory as it applies to the family is the uncovering of how the family deals with changes and adversity.Keys to a Happy Marriage Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration. But ends up... www.thoughts-about-god.com
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SIGNIFICANCE
When the family is dissected and sources of conflict and power identified, the family then can find better and more effective ways to communicate. Understanding can lead to a desire for change and motivate family members to participate to develop more positive relationships. Through the study of the family dynamics, members may become more empathic and understanding of the underlying causes of their conflict.EFFECTS
According to California State University, it is not possible to interact with other human beings without eventual conflict. Growth takes place within the context of conflict. Change and the ensuing conflicts it brings are normal and necessary for human growth and development. The primary goal should be for family members to learn how to manage the conflict so that it doesn't escalate and alienate others and lead to estranged relationships.FEATURES
Among the resources that present conflicts in families are time and money. Family members concerned with self-interest alone see a scarcity of both and present conflicting ideas of how each should be spent to make sure they receive their due. Love, affection, power to make decisions and knowledge also are commodities seen as scarce resources. Conflict negotiations highlight these needs and agree they exist.RESOLUTIONS
Once the family understands the complexities of their motivations and intent, it can find resolutions, according to the University of Akron. Families can learn to express their feelings in a safe environment where each member receives a certain amount of uninterrupted time to talk. Ground rules may be set that discourage raised voices or physical acts. Discussion remains focused on each issue and does not turn to personal attacks. Each family member must believe that a solution is possible and then participate in finding it. Hindsight then can be used to settle future conflicts.Conflict Styles Trainers Powerful dashboard to manage users as they take online inventory. www.RiverhouseEpress.com
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REFERENCES
California State University: Conflict Theory University of Akron: Family Crisis
Conflict theory pertains to the differing ways that both individuals and communities grouped by social and economic class, use, abuse or are victimized by power relations. Sociologists, psychologists, labor and human rights organizers, academics and critics all utilize conflict theory to discuss and study how a class system affects various social interactions.
Criminology Study Techniques
Criminology is the study of crime and its relation to society. Considered an interdisciplinary field, criminologists can work for the government, private organizations and in universities. The research they do in studying criminals affect social law, crime rates and government projects regarding law enforcement. When studying criminology, the four basic study techniques include data sources, causes of crime, statistical interpretation of crimes and analysis.
Varieties of Conflict Theory
Marxist historical materialism emphasizes the relationship between men and materials, particularly focusing on how this creates a natural division between laborers and those who profit from the labor. The original social conflict theories take this basic assumption and extrapolate the typical divisions of society, based on myriad factors.
The scientific study of criminal behavior is called criminology. Criminologists study both the causes of crime and possible solutions to the problem of crime. There are a number of different theories in criminology, based on different models of why criminals do the things they do. These include the classical theory, the positivist theory and others.
How to Compare & Contrast Functionalist & Conflict Theories
Social scientists often look at the world through the spectacles of a particular ideology, or belief system. This makes a very complex world easier to understand. It also provides a framework for students to learn about the social and political world and the theories that have influenced people's thinking. Both the functionalist and conflict theories have their adherents and both have something to offer in trying to understand politics and even decide political allegiance. These theories not only address the world of politics, but also many other areas of life, including, crime, education and economics.
How to Apply Sociological Theory to Topics
Sociological theory is a collection of interrelated ideas that concentrate on the systematic study of the social world. The use of sociological theory combines the application of the
method with a collection of sociological observations and understandings to form a unique field of human analysis that is largely focused with group behavior, social understanding and the nature of people as social creatures. Sociological theory provides a foundation to understand why people associate with groups and even predict their reactions to various opposing ideas that are counter to their group identity.
Conflict That May Arise With Diverse Social Groups
Diversity allows individuals to learn about the cultural, religious or social ideals of others. Unfortunately, conflict can arise from this diversity, either through inherited ideals in your children, rhetoric-fueled media or an unhealthy avoidance of important social ideas. Some conflict can be turned positive, if you know how to address it when the situation occurs.
Differences Between Globalization and Internationalization
Although the terms "globalization" and "internationalization" are sometimes used interchangeably to describe economic, political and or cultural activities throughout the world, there are several key differences between the two words. The term globalization is consistently utilized to describe the dramatic changes the world is undergoing, as new technology and modern economics have led to increasingly interconnected economies and cultures; internationalization more often refers to specific, economic activities certain firms or nations are undertaking internationally.
Intrastate conflict is the technical name for armed conflicts that occur within the borders of a state. One common example for an intrastate conflict is a civil war; however, not all intrastate conflicts come down to secessionism. In fact, entire academic and government organizations, such as Harvard University's Belfer Center, study how and why intrastate conflicts occur throughout the world. Such conflicts are usually complex and are not caused by one thing. Instead, multiple reasons may explain any intrastate conflict.
Ways to Prevent Conflict
Preventing a conflict often starts with deciding to compromise on final decisions. While conflict is natural and sometimes constructive, reacting poorly to conflict can lead to dangerous problems. However, the method a group or individual has for addressing or avoiding a conflict can itself lead to serious conflicts that halt progress.
Models of Conflict
Conflict is a feature of human society that takes many forms, from disagreements between individuals to global wars. Conflict occurs within small groups, within societies and between societies, and is caused by a complex range of factors that are not fully
comprehended. Social scientists seek to understand the causes of conflict by constructing theoretical models about its origins.
Intercultural Conflict Styles
Just like any other situation, the rules for the polite way to handle problems are specific to a particular culture. The way that different cultures deal with conflict is largely based on the context of the culture. Cultural context is a concept developed by Edward T. Hall, a cultural anthropologist who developed several cultural dimensions to help explain differences between cultures. The concept of context has to do with how much information a person in a culture overtly states, and how much is encoded in the context of the situation.
What Were the Causes of Conflict With the Phoenicians?
The greatest assets of the Phoenicians were their greatest liabilities and the cause of conflicts with other nations. Although Phoenicia developed a powerful empire in the first millennium B.C. it was a mercantile empire and never one that was extended by military power. The Phoenicians had little tradition of warfare. Their country was located in the area now comprised by Lebanon and parts of Syria and Israel.
The many reasons people become conflicted often are personal, such as a quest for better self-understanding or whether to change jobs. The root lies in the Latin word "conflictus," meaning to strike together or clash. Conflict in the form of battles and wars are often caused by competing interests and a fight for power.
How to Apply Conflict Theory to Culture
Conflict theory originated from the thoughts and writings of Karl Marx. Essentially, conflict theorists postulate that society is comprised of various groups with competing interests. In this theoretical model, groups work to further their own interests while undermining the interests of other groups. A conflict theorist would likely believe that poverty and crime are caused by economic and social factors rather than by innate character flaws such as laziness, deviance or moral problems. In order to apply conflict theory to culture, it is necessary to understand the differing groups that make up society and how conflicting interests can create inequality.
Ideas on Conflict Theory On Poverty
American thought is largely based on liberal enlightenment ideals, which portray society as a group of individuals who work together to promote rational thought and preserve individual liberties. Over time, this leads to a more egalitarian, humane and advanced society. Conversely, conflict theorists view society as an amalgamation of discrete groups who promote certain interests at the expense of other members of society. This leads to inequality that results in poverty, crime and other problems.
Conflict occurs everywhere: in the home, in the office and even on the street. Two or more people disagree about something and each side becomes more frustrated and angry as the seconds pass. A verbal, or even physical, altercation could occur during a situation like this, but there are healthy ways to handle a conflict and ways to react to conflicts that can improve the relationship.
Ways Diversity Leads to Conflict
Human beings are a pretty diverse group. Differences in ethnicity, gender, gender orientation and religious beliefs are all forms of diversity. When diverse groups meet, oftentimes they co-exist and get along. Unfortunately, in the real world diversity sometimes leads to conflict.
Ethnic Conflicts in the 21st Century
There are many ethnic conflicts currently taking place in the 21st century, some of which started recently and others that have been going on for decades. A majority of these conflicts are in the Middle East, but there are many other ethnic conflicts in different parts of the world.
Conflict diamonds are diamonds that originate in warring nations where rebel and terrorist groups commit heinous crimes against citizens to control the local diamond trade and finance their war efforts. By the year 2000, at least 4 million murders had reportedly been fueled by aims to control the $7.5 billion in annual revenue generated from the blood diamond trade, which then accounted for 4 to 15 percent of all diamonds on the market around the world. By 2006, international regulatory efforts had diminished that presence to approximately 0.2 percent.
What Are the Factors That Cause Conflict?
Times of conflict can mean heated emotions and charged words, so it's important to understand the root causes of a problematic situation. Conflict is inevitable and not always curable, especially if the two sides become distracted with irrelevant or inconsequential details. Considering these factors of conflict can help identify the more rectifiable issues present in most conflicts.
There are many reasons why some juveniles end up in conflict with the law. Hanging with the wrong crowd and curiosity are viable considerations, but many experts believe the family structure has more influence over a child's success, or lack thereof, than any other factor. Broken homes are a leading cause for young people breaking the law. Without structure at home, juveniles are more likely to not adhere to the structures of society. While there are some parents of juvenile delinquents who are model citizens and provide the "ideal" household for their children, many parents cannot or do not foster…
What Is Meso Conflict?
The term "meso conflict" describes a stage in the development of human power struggles between interpersonal or small group conflicts and full-scale war. Commonly used in academic social science papers, a "meso conflict" refers to the developmental stage in human conflicts that is limited to institutions or communities.
Different Theories on Conflict
Some define conflict as a struggle for social status, or for scarce resources. Conflict even arises in the form of communication. Conflict in communication is functional when norms and values of the culture are stable, and individual opinions and viewpoints are respected; however, conflict is dysfunctional when it becomes emotionally charged. With the scope of violence and technology changing dramatically in the twentieth century, knowledge of conflict different theories has increased considerably.
How to Discuss Functionalist and Conflict Theories
Functionalist and conflict theories are both major social science theories relating to the individual, the collective and society. Functionalism looks at the way that the individual and society interact to create the things necessary for a society to be formed. Conflict theory examines the societal structure with materialism, and work, being the most important contribution an individual can make to the whole. Functionalism is based on the work of French sociologist Emile Durkheim, while much of conflict theory is based upon work done by Karl Marx.
What Are the Types of Social Conflict Theories?
Social conflict is theorized to occur when an imbalance exists regarding money, resources or power. The conflict can happen in any setting -- global, industrial or familial. While research and case studies may report the details of how, when, why and where a social conflict began or continues, the reasons behind the conflict and the actions of the social groups will generally fall into one of the following three categories.
Conflict theory is based on the argument that every individual in a society, organization in a society or entire societies will strive to maximize their benefits, which ultimately leads to social change. Understanding conflict theory is challenging, since the entirety of human civilization has roots in conflict. To understand conflict theory thoroughly requires an understanding of conflict theory origins, conflict theory models and a variety of theoretical approaches to conflict theory, such as game theory. The best way to familiarize yourself with these elements of conflict theory is to read about them.
The Conflict Approach to Deviance
Sociology is the study of society and human behavior within a society. Conflict theory is one of many approaches which sociologists use to explain deviance within a society.
Theories of Land Conflict
Land conflict theory is a subset of conflict theory, a sociological perspective that focuses on structural antagonisms in society and their resolutions. Conflict theory is generally traced back to Marx, who first posited a sociological account of social conflict in his theses on class and capitalism. Conflict theory was subsequently taken up as an academic challenge to functionalist and positivist perspectives in the social sciences. Land conflict theory applies conflict theory premises to land disputes.
Interpersonal Conflict Theory
Interpersonal conflict theory seeks to explain why conflicts arise between two or more parties and helps people learn ways to resolve them. This theory can relate to romantic partners, friends, colleagues, relatives and others.
Constructivism is a form of epistemology, which is an approach to knowledge. In this approach, knowledge is not based on the accumulation of what is "out there." When applied to conflict, constructivism normally refers to national or other group actors interpreting their own history and sense of identity as they challenge others.
System Theory of Conflict
System theory is an approach to social life that stresses functional parts working together for a specific end. In general, this approach deals with what holds the organism together, yet when conflict theory is introduced, it explains how things fall apart. A system theory of conflict seeks to show how parts of a system do not always harmoniously work together.
Conflict Theory and Globalization
Conflict, or critical, theory is an approach to analyzing society that stresses the differences in power among social groups. This can be applied to classes within societies, or even to countries within the global economic and trading system. When conflict theory is applied to global politics, this same scheme is followed: the poorer countries of the world are contrasted with the wealthy ones. The wealthy create the rules that are then forced upon the poor.
Conflict Theory & Criminology
Conflict theory is the approach to social life that stresses the existence of unequal groups in society. In its most general form, conflict theory (sometimes called critical theory) holds that laws and moral codes are creations of the wealthy that are inflicted on the poor to control them. For criminologists then, conflict theory holds that the criminal justice system is the most violent form of this control.
Conflict, or critical theory, is a complex philosophical attack on modern political life. Usually, this body of thought is known as "critical" theory in philosophy, and "conflict" theory in the social sciences. The terms are identical. The chief method of critical writers begins with the idea that social life is based on the imposition of a legal and moral code on the poor by the wealthy. The inequality of social groups is the main starting point for this tradition.
Strengths and Weaknesses of Conflict Theory
Social life is the dominance of one group over another, and politics is the rhetorical justification of that group's control. This is the main claim of conflict/critical theory. Conflict theory has been one of the dominant modes of interpreting social life throughout most of the 20th century. It is vaguely associated with forms of socialism.
Keys of Conflict Theory
Conflict theory is a social theory seeking to explain why certain groups stay in power, and why there is conflict within societies and social groups. Karl Marx introduced the theory and it was later adopted by other theorists who did not accept that everyone within a
society has their place or that each is essential to keep the society functioning as a whole.
Conflict Theory & Religion
Conflict theory for religion is a natural outgrowth of the conflicts that naturally exist in cultures. Religious identity acts as an indicator of social status while incorporating the social status of the group into its religious worldview as an extension of its social status.
Conflict Theory
Conflict theory posits that social groups or classes compete with each other in order to obtain resources that the society deems important.
Conflict Theory & Deviance
The conflict perspective on deviance assumes that deviance, that is, behavior that departs from the social norm, is a social creation. It assumes that there is no "human nature" that sets a natural mode of behavior. Instead, conflict theory holds that it is the power structure in any given society that defines what is normal and what is not. Hence, deviance is the creation of the social structure, not something built into our nature.
Symbolic Interaction & Marxism Theory
Societies form bonds around certain symbols, such as flags, although they are not always universally interpreted the same way. In the 1950s and '60s, cultural Marxists began studying noneconomic factors that led to class conflict.
Functionalism is the oldest of the major sociological theories and is the first to treat it as a pure science. Functionalists believe social structures can be studied rationally through surveys and interviews.
Theories of Deviance in Conflict Theory
The basic theory of deviance in social conflict centers around class warfare, in which the lower classes rebel against the upper classes who set the rules upon which society operates; laws are then generated to settle these conflicts. Any violation of these laws is seen as a deviant act.
Social-Conflict Theory
The seeds for social-conflict theory were planted in the 19th century but did not take root until the 1960s. The underlying tenet of social conflict is that the lower class is competing for resources against an upper class that controls the government, courts and industry.
Colonel James "Jim" Bowie first gained recognition for his skill with a knife following his role in the "Sandbar Duel" in Mississippi in 1827. As the fame of Jim Bowie and his knife spread, demand for the "Bowie knife" grew.
Realism International Relations Theory
Realism is the oldest of the international relations theories. Its main premise is that every nation state's goal is to gain power to protect itself from other nations' attacks. The theory is based on survival of the fittest, a basic biological norm.
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Consider This Conflict Theory To Manage Conflict
Conflict is all around us, ranging from simple situations such as who left the dishes in the sink to major international disputes. There is a conflict theory that common stages are passed through as conflict develops. Here is one example:
John feels that his manager, Gerard, does not keep him informed of what is happening in the business. John works primarily offsite with customers and can be away for long periods of time.
2. Incident
Gerard promotes Ann, John's colleague, based on her qualifications and experience.
3. Misunderstanding
John feels he missed out on the promotion he was expecting. He believes that this is because he is not based in the home office on a full time basis and he has been treated unfairly. He becomes mistrustful and negative towards his manager.
4. Tension
John's enthusiasm for the job starts to decrease. He does "what is necessary" to get by at work. His commitment to the business is diminished. Gerard becomes increasingly frustrated by John's attitude.
5. Crisis
Gerard challenges John over a customer complaint, words are exchanged and tempers flare.
When conflict reaches a crisis stage, a lot of time and effort is needed to get it resolved. Too often we avoid dealing with situations at the discomfort stage. We bury our feelings and don't discuss what is on our mind, hoping that the situation will resolve itself.
It is so much easier to communicate before resentment has started to grow. As a manager, be alert to conflict in its early stages and take steps to prevent it from escalating. This means being open to the other person's views, avoiding judgements and discussing until a resolution is reached for both parties.
Complex Conflict
There is a conflict theory that suggests mapping the issue can help in a complex situation, where many parties and interests are involved. This involves four stages:
1. Identify the issue2. Identify who is involved3. List the major needs and concerns of each party4. Categorise the tangible needs (which can be traded) or intangible needs (such as
work needed on building relationships)
If you map this as shown in the diagram, then you can look for areas where there is common agreement and areas which need to be given priority. It will help you to build an action plan and move the conflict into a more productive phase. It is important to respect and value differences, keep a broad perspective and recognise that this work may need a long timeframe.
Click on Definition of Conflict to discover how people's perception of conflict differs. It also covers role conflict and team conflict, and how best to manage it.
If you are in a crisis or near crisis situation, these Conflict Resolution Tips will give you some pointers to follow.
CONFLICT THEORY
In sociology, conflict theory states that society or an organization functions so that each individual
participant and its groups struggle to maximize their benefits, which inevitably contributes to social
change such as political changes and revolutions. The theory is mostly applied to explain conflict
between social classes, proletariat versus bourgeoisie; and in ideologies, such as capitalism
versus socialism. While conflict theory successfully describes instances where conflict occurs between
groups of people, for a variety of reasons, it is questionable whether this represents the ideal human
society. Although some theorists, such as Karl Marx, have claimed that growth and development occur
through the conflict between opposing parties, cooperation is also a source of healthy growth. It needs to
be determined under which situations, if any, conflict is necessary to produce change, as compared to
those under which cooperation and harmony lead to the greatest advances.
Contents
[hide]
1 Conflict theory
2 Marx and conflict theory
3 Weber and conflict theory
4 Feminist conflict theory
5 Conflict theory applied to society
6 Notes
7 External links
8 Credits
Conflict theory
The history of conflict theory can be traced back to thinkers such as Machiavelli or Thomas Hobbes,
both of whom viewed humanity cynically. In its current form, conflict theory attempts to refute the
functionalist approach, which considers that societies and organizations function so that each individual
and group plays a specific role, like organs in the body. There are radical basic assumptions (society is
eternally in conflict, which might explainsocial change), or moderate ones (custom and conflict are always
mixed). The moderate version allows for functionalism to operate as an equally acceptable theory since it
would accept that even negative social institutions play a part in society's self-perpetuation.
The essence of conflict theory is best epitomized by the classic "pyramid structure" in which an elite
dictates terms to the larger masses. All major social structures, laws, and traditions in the society are
designed to support those who have traditionally been in power, or the groups that are perceived to be
superior in the society according to this theory. Conflict theorists would argue that all groups in society are
born from conflict. An example might be that of labor unions, which are developed to fight for the interests
of workers, whereas trade organizations are made to fight for the interests of the moneyed classes. This
theory of groups is opposed to functionalism in which each of these groups would play a specific, set role
in society. In functionalism, these groups cooperate to benefit society whereas in conflict theory the
groups are in opposition to one another as they seek to better their masters.
"It is in the interests of those who have wealth to keep and extend what they own, whereas it is in the
interests of those who have little or no wealth to try to improve their lot in life."[1] This can also be
expanded to include any society's morality, and by extension their definition of deviance. Anything that
challenges the control of the elite will likely be considered "deviant" or "morally reprehensible." The theory
can be applied on both the macro level (like the U.S. government or Soviet Russia, historically) or the
micro level (a church organization or school club). In summary, conflict theory seeks to catalog the ways
in which those in power seek to stay in power.
In understanding conflict theory, competition between social classes plays a key part. The following are
four primary assumptions of modern conflict theory:
1. Competition: Competition over scarce resources (money, leisure, sexual partners, and so on) is
at the heart of all social relationships. Competition rather than consensus is characteristic of
human relationships.
2. Structural inequality: Inequalities in power and reward are built into all social structures.
Individuals and groups that benefit from any particular structure strive to see it maintained.
3. Revolution: Change occurs as a result of conflict between social class's competing interests
rather than through adaptation. It is often abrupt and revolutionary rather than evolutionary.
4. War: Even war is a unifier of the societies involved, as well as war may set an end to whole
societies.
Conflict theory was elaborated in the United Kingdom by Max Gluckman and John Rex, in the United
States by Lewis A. Coser, and Randall Collins, and in Germany by Ralf Dahrendorf, all of them being less
or more influenced by Karl Marx, Ludwig Gumplovicz, Vilfredo Pareto, Georg Simmel, and other founding
fathers of European sociology.
Marx and conflict theory
Karl Marx argued that property is upheld by the state, making property struggles into political struggles
between owners and renters, capitalists and workers, and other groups. Material conditions determine the
ability of any of these groups to organize effectively politically. These material conditions are also what
enable one group to propagate their views to others in society. Because the owners clearly have an
advantage in material wealth, their views are spread more easily.[2]
For Marx, the conflict clearly arises because all things of value to man result from human labor. According
to Marx, capitalists exploit workers for their labor and do not share the fruits of these labors equally. This
exploitation is what allows the owning classes to dominate politically and to impose their ideology on the
workers of the world.[3]
Weber and conflict theory
Max Weber refined Marx's conflict theory. Weber stated that more than one conflict over property existed
at any given moment in any given society, which is more nuanced than Marx's theory that the only
struggle of importance was that between owners and workers. Weber included an emotional aspect of
conflict as well:
It is these that underlie the power of religion and make it an important ally of the state; that transform
classes into status groups, and do the same to territorial communities under particular circumstances
(ethnicity); and that make "legitimacy" a crucial focus for efforts at domination.
Weber's conclusions on conflict theory are similar to those reached by thinkers such as Emile
Durkheim, Sigmund Freud, and Nietzsche, namely that beyond emotionality, some particular forms of
social interaction create strongly held beliefs and solidarity among members of groups.
Feminist conflict theory
Conflict theory has been used by feminists to explain the position of women in society. Feminist conflict
theorists argue that women have traditionally been oppressed so that men can benefit from positions of
power, wealth, and status. These theorists would argue that the conflict over limited natural resources is
what led men to relegate women to domesticity. This interpretation of conflict theory also leads to the idea
that men cannot be trusted to give power to women because this gift would conflict with their inherent
nature.
Conflict theory applied to society
Conflict theory offers a useful lens with which to analyze society. One might use this theory to explain the
enmity between rich and poor within any society. This enmity could be expressed emotionally, verbally, or
physically. Applying the theory to notable class conflicts is possible. Events such as the "Battle in Seattle"
over global trade or the French Revolution serve as two examples.
Conflict theory can also be used to explain non-economic conflicts within a society. One might look at the
divide between Protestants and Catholics as a battle over spiritual resources. On a less macro level, the
competition between students in a classroom serves as a useful example as well. In such ways, conflict
theory is usefully ambiguous in its application to innumerable phenomena.
Notes
1. ↑ www.sociology.org, Conflict Theories. Retrieved December 3, 2007.
3. ↑ Kent McClelland, Conflict Theory. Retrieved December 3, 2007.
External links
Class, State, And Crime: Social Conflict Perspective. Retrieved March 4, 2008.
The Basics of Conflict Theory from Collins, Randall. 1974. Conflict Sociology. New York, NY:
Academic Press. pp.56-61. Retrieved March 4, 2008.
UNDERSTANDING CONFLICT AND WAR: VOL. 2: THE CONFLICT HELIX By R.J.
Rummel. Retrieved March 4, 2008.
Conflict managementFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This article has multiple issues. Please help improve it or discuss these issues on the talk page.This article is written like a personal reflection or essay rather than an encyclopedic description of the subject. (April 2012)
This article may be too technical for most readers to understand. (April 2012)
This article's tone or style may not reflect the encyclopedic tone used on Wikipedia. (April 2012)
Conflict management involves implementing strategies to limit the negative aspects of conflict and to increase
the positive aspects of conflict at a level equal to or higher than where the conflict is taking place. Furthermore,
the aim of conflict management is to enhance learning and group outcomes (effectiveness or performance in
organizational setting) (Rahim, 2002, p. 208). It is not concerned with eliminating all conflict or avoiding conflict.
Conflict can be valuable to groups and organizations. It has been shown to increase group outcomes when
In De Dreu and Weingart's 2003 meta-analysis, both substantive and affective conflict are negatively related to
team member satisfaction (ρ = -.32; -.56, respectively). Additionally, substantive and affective conflict are
negatively related to team performance (ρ = -.20; -.25, respectively). It is important to note that 20% (5 of 25) of
the studies used showed a positive correlation between substantive conflict and task performance. These
relationships show the severe negative impact that conflict can have on groups, and illustrate the importance of
conflict management.
[edit]Organizational and Interpersonal Conflict
Organizational conflict, whether it be substantive or affective, can be divided into intraorganizational and
interorganizational. Interorganizational conflict occurs between two or more organizations (Rahim, 2002). When
different businesses are competing against one another, this is an example of interorganizational conflict
Intraorganizational conflict is conflict within an organization, and can be examined based upon level (e.g.
department, work team, individual), and can be classified as interpersonal, intragroup and intergroup.
Interpersonal conflict--once again--whether it is substantive or affective, refers to conflict between two or more
individuals (not representing the group they are a part of) of the same or different group at the same or different
level, if in an organization. Interpersonal conflict can be divided into intragroup and intergroup conflict. While
the former--intragroup--occurs between members of a group (or between subgroups within a group), the latter--
intergroup--occurs between groups or units in an organization (Rahim, 2002).
[edit]Conflict Resolution Vs. Conflict Management
As the name would suggest, conflict resolution involves the reduction, elimination, or termination of all forms
and types of conflict. In practice, when people talk about conflict resolution they tend to use terms
like negotiation, bargaining, mediation, or arbitration.
In line with the recommendations in the "how to" section, businesses can benefit from appropriate types and
levels of conflict. That is the aim of conflict management, and not the aim of conflict resolution. Conflict
management does not necessarily imply conflict resolution. “Conflict management involves designing effective
macro-level strategies to minimize the dysfunctions of conflict and enhancing the constructive functions of
conflict in order to enhance learning and effectiveness in an organization”(Rahim, 2002, p. 208). Learning is
essential for the longevity of any group. This is especially true for organizations; Organizational learning is
essential for any company to remain in the market. Properly managed conflict increases learning through
increasing the degree to which groups ask questions and challenge the status quo (Luthans, Rubach, &
Marsnik, 1995).
[edit]Models of Conflict Management
There have been many styles of conflict management behavior that have been researched in the past century.
One of the earliest, Mary Parker Follett (1926/1940) found that conflict was managed by individuals in three
main ways: domination, compromise, and integration. She also found other ways of handling conflict that were
employed by organizations, such as avoidance and suppression.
[edit]Early Conflict Management Models
Blake and Mouton (1964) were among the first to present a conceptual scheme for classifying the modes
(styles) for handling interpersonal conflicts into five types: forcing, withdrawing, smoothing, compromising, and
problem solving.
In the 1970’s and 1980’s, researchers began using the intentions of the parties involved to classify the styles of
conflict management that they would include in their models. Both Thomas (1976) and Pruitt (1983) put forth a
model based on the concerns of the parties involved in the conflict. The combination of the parties concern for
their own interests (i.e. assertiveness) and their concern for the interests of those across the table
(i.e. cooperativeness) would yield a particular conflict management style. Pruitt called these styles yielding (low
assertiveness/high cooperativeness), problem solving (high assertiveness/high cooperativeness), inaction (low
assertiveness/low cooperativeness), and contending (high assertiveness/low cooperativeness). Pruitt argues
that problem-solving is the preferred method when seeking mutually beneficial options.
[edit]Khun and Poole’s Model
Khun and Poole (2000) established a similar system of group conflict management. In their system, they split
Kozan’s confrontational model into two sub models: distributive and integrative.
Distributive - Here conflict is approached as a distribution of a fixed amount of positive outcomes or
resources, where one side will end up winning and the other losing, even if they do win some concessions.
Integrative - Groups utilizing the integrative model see conflict as a chance to integrate the needs and
concerns of both groups and make the best outcome possible. This model has a heavier emphasis on
compromise than the distributive model. Khun and Poole found that the integrative model resulted in
consistently better task related outcomes than those using the distributive model.
[edit]DeChurch and Marks’s Meta-Taxonomy
DeChurch and Marks (2001) examined the literature available on conflict management at the time and
established what they claimed was a "meta-taxonomy" that encompasses all other models. They argued that all
other styles have inherent in them into two dimensions - activeness ("the extent to which conflict behaviors
make a responsive and direct rather than inert and indirect impression") and agreeableness ("the extent to
which conflict behaviors make a pleasant and relaxed rather than unpleasant and strainful impression"). High
activeness is characterized by openly discussing differences of opinion while fully going after their own interest.
High agreeableness is characterized by attempting to satisfy all parties involved
In the study they conducted to validate this division, activeness did not have a significant effect on the
effectiveness of conflict resolution, but the agreeableness of the conflict management style, whatever it was,
did in fact have a positive impact on how groups felt about the way the conflict was managed, regardless of the
outcome.
[edit]Rahim's meta model
Rahim (2002) noted that there is agreement among management scholars that there is no one best approach
to how to make decisions, lead or manage conflict. In a similar vein, rather than creating a very specific model
of conflict management, Rahim created a meta-model (in much the same way that DeChurch and Marks, 2001,
created a meta-taxonomy) for conflict styles based on two dimensions, concern for self and concern for others
(as shown in Figure 2).
Within this framework are five management approaches: integrating, obliging, dominating, avoiding, and
compromising. Integration involves openness, exchanging information, looking for alternatives, and examining
differences so solve the problem in a manner that is acceptable to both parties. Obliging is associated with
attempting to minimize the differences and highlight the commonalities to satisfy the concern of the other party.
When using the dominating style one party goes all out to win his or her objective and, as a result, often
ignores the needs and expectations of the other party. When avoiding a party fails to satisfy his or her own
concern as well as the concern of the other party. Lastly, compromising involves give-and-take whereby both
parties give up something to make a mutually acceptable decision. (Rahim, 2002).
[edit]How to manage conflict
This article contains instructions, advice, or how-to content. The purpose of Wikipedia is to present facts, not to train. Please helpimprove this article either by rewriting the how-to content or by moving it to Wikiversity or Wikibooks. (April 2012)
Overall conflict management should aim to minimize affective conflicts at all levels, attain and maintain a
moderate amount of substantive conflict, and use the appropriate conflict management strategy--to effectively
bring about the first two goals, and also to match the status and concerns of the two parties in conflict (Rahim,
2002).
In order for conflict management strategies to be effective, they should satisfy certain criteria. The below
criteria are particularly useful for not only conflict management, but also decision makingin management.
Organization Learning and Effectiveness- In order to attain this objective, conflict management strategies
should be designed to enhance critical and innovative thinking to learn the process of diagnosis and
intervention in the right problems.
Needs of Stakeholders- Sometimes multiple parties are involved in a conflict in an organization and the
challenge of conflict management would be to involve these parties in a problem solving process that will
lead to collective learning and organizational effectiveness. organizations should institutionalize the
positions of employee advocate, customer and supplier advocate, as well as environmental and
stockholder advocates.
Ethics - A wise leader must behave ethically, and to do so the leader should be open to new information
and be willing to change his or her mind. By the same token subordinates and other stakeholders have an
ethical duty to speak out against the decisions of supervisors when consequences of these decisions are
likely to be serious. “Without an understanding of ethics, conflict cannot be handled” (Batcheldor, 2000).
[edit]Steps to Manage
The first step is reactionary by assessing and reacting to the conflict. The second step is proactive by
determining how the employee reacted to the decision. The manager tries to take (create) a new approach, and
once again tries to discern how the employee reacts. Once the manager feels that the best decision for the
organization has been chosen, and the employee feels justified, then the manager decides if this is a single
case conflict, or one that should be written as policy. The entire process starts as a reactive situation but then
moves towards a proactive decision. It is based on obtaining an outcome that best fits the organization, but
emphasizes the perception of justice for the employee. The chart below shows the interaction of the
procedures.
Maccoby and Studder identify five steps to managing conflict.
1. Anticipate – Take time to obtain information that can lead to conflict.
2. Prevent – Develop strategies before the conflict occurs.
3. Identify – If it is interpersonal or procedural, move to quickly manage it.
4. Manage – Remember that conflict is emotional
5. Resolve – React, without blame, and you will learn through dialogue.
(Maccoby & Studder, p.50)
Melissa Taylor’s research on Locus of Control is directly related to individual abilities of communication,
especially as it pertains to interpersonal conflict. She also states that conflicts should be solution driven which
are creative and integrative. They should be non-confrontational, and they should still maintain control, utilizing
non-verbal messages to achieve the outcome.(Taylor, p. 449)
Rahim, Antonioni, and Psenicka’s 2001 article deals with two types of leaders. Those that have concern for
themselves, and those that have concern for others. (Rahim, Antonioni & Psenicka, 2001, p.195)
They also have degrees of conflict management style.
1. Integrating involves opening up, creating dialogue, and exploring differences to choose an effective
solution for both groups. “This style is positively associated with individual and organizational
outcomes.” (Rahim et al., p. 197)
2. Obliging tries to find the same interests of the parties, while trying to minimize the true feeling of the
conflict, to satisfy the other party.
3. Dominating is a coercive manager who forces their own way.
4. Avoiding is ignoring the problem in hopes that it will go away.
5. Compromising is a manger that is willing to make concessions and the employee makes concessions
for a mutual agreement. (Rahim et al., p.196)
The avoiding and dominating styles are considered ineffective in management. The following chart shows the
interaction between the styles. (Rahim et al., p. 196)
[edit]International Conflict Management
Special consideration should be paid to conflict management between two parties from distinct cultures. In
addition to the everyday sources of conflict, "misunderstandings, and from this counterproductive, pseudo
conflicts, arise when members of one culture are unable to understand culturally determined differences in
communication practices, traditions, and thought processing" (Borisoff & Victor, 1989).
Indeed, this has already been observed in the business research literature. Renner (2007) recounted several
episodes where managers from developed countries moved to less developed countries to resolve conflicts
within the company and met with little success due to their failure to adapt to the conflict management styles of
the local culture.
As an example, in Kozan’s study noted above, he noted that Asian cultures are far more likely to use a
harmony model of conflict management. If a party operating from a harmony model comes in conflict with a
party using a more confrontational model, misunderstandings above and beyond those generated by the
conflict itself will arise.
International conflict management, and the cultural issues associated with it, is one of the primary areas of
research in the field at the time, as existing research is insufficient to deal with the ever increasing contact
occurring between international entities.
[edit]Application
[edit]Higher education
With only 14% of researched universities reporting mandatory courses in this subject, and with the up to 25% of
the manager day being spent on dealing with conflict, education needs to reconsider the importance of this
subject. The subject warrants emphasis on enabling students to deal with conflict management. (Lang, p. 240)
“Providing more conflict management training in undergraduate business programs could help raise the
emotional intelligence of future managers.” The improvement of emotional intelligence found that employees
were more likely to use problem-solving skills, instead of trying to bargain. (Lang, p. 241)
Students need to have a good set of social skills. Good communication skills allow the manager to accomplish
interpersonal situations and conflict. Instead of focusing on conflict as a behavior issue, focus on the
communication of it. (Myers & Larson, 2005, p.307)
With an understanding of the communications required, the student will gain the aptitude needed to
differentiate between the nature and types of conflicts. These skills also teach that relational and procedural
conflict needs a high degree of immediacy to resolution. If these two conflicts are not dealt with quickly, an
employee will become dissatisfied or perform poorly. (Myers & Larson, p.313)
It is also the responsibility of companies to react. One option is to identify the skills needed in house, but if the
skills for creating workplace fairness are already lacking, it may be best to have an outside organization assist.
These are called “Developmental Assessment Centers”.
According to Rupp, Baldwin, and Bashur, these organizations “have become a popular means for providing
coaching, feedback, and experiential learning opportunities.” (Rupp, Baldwin & Bashshur, 2006, p. 145) Their
main focus is fairness and how it impacts employee’s attitudes and performance.
These organizations teach competencies and what they mean. (Rupp et al., p. 146) The students then
participate in simulations. Multiple observers assess and record what skills are being used and then return this
feedback to the participant. After this assessment, participants are then given another set of simulations to
utilize the skills learned. Once again they receive additional feedback from observers, in hopes that the learning
can be used in their workplace.
The feedback the participant receives is detailed, behaviorally specific, and high quality. This is needed for the
participant to learn how to change their behavior. (Rupp et al., p. 146) In this regard, it is also important that the
participant take time to self-reflect so that learning may occur.
Once an assessment program is utilized, action plans may be developed based on quantitative and qualitative
data. (Rupp et al., p. 159)
[edit]Counselling
When personal conflict leads to frustration and loss of efficiency, counseling may prove to be a helpful antidote.
Although few organizations can afford the luxury of having professional counselors on the staff, given some
training, managers may be able to perform this function. Nondirective counseling, or "listening with
understanding," is little more than being a good listener—something every manager should be.[1]
Sometimes the simple process of being able to vent one's feelings—that is, to express them to a concerned
and understanding listener, is enough to relieve frustration and make it possible for the frustrated individual to
advance to a problem-solving frame of mind, better able to cope with a personal difficulty that is affecting his
work adversely. The nondirective approach is one effective way for managers to deal with frustrated
subordinates and co-workers.[2]
There are other more direct and more diagnostic ways that might be used in appropriate circumstances. The
great strength of the nondirective approach (nondirective counseling is based on the client-centered therapy of
Carl Rogers), however, lies in its simplicity, its effectiveness, and the fact that it deliberately avoids the
manager-counselor's diagnosing and interpreting emotional problems, which would call for special
psychological training. No one has ever been harmed by being listened to sympathetically and understandingly.
On the contrary, this approach has helped many people to cope with problems that were interfering with their
effectiveness on the job.[2]
[edit]See also
Conflict resolution
Conflict atlas
Conflict style inventory
[edit]References
Alper, S., Tjosvold, D., & Law, K. S. (2000) Conflict management, efficacy, and performance in organizational
teams. Personnel Psychology, 53, 625-642.
Amason, A. C. (1996). Distinguishing the effects of functional and dysfunctional conflict on strategic decision
making: Resolving a paradox for top management teams. Academy of Management Journal, 39, 123-1
Baron, R. A. (1997). Positive effects of conflict: Insights from social cognition. In C. K. W. DeDreu & E. Van de
Vliert (Eds.), Using conflict in organizations (pp. 177-191). London: Sage.
Batcheldor, M. (2000) The Elusive Intangible Intelligence: Conflict Management and Emotional Intelligence in
the Workplace. The Western Scholar, Fall, 7-9
Behfar, K. J., Peterson, R. S., Mannis, E. A., & Trochim, W. M. K. (2008). The critical role of conflict resolution
in teams: A close look at the links between conflict type, conflict management strategies, and team outcomes.
Journal of Applied Psychology, 93, 170-188.
Blake, R. R., & Mouton, J. S. (1964). The managerial grid. Houston, TX: Gulf.
Bodtker, A. M., & Jameson, J. K. (2001) Emotion in conflict formation and its transformation: Application to
organizational conflict management. The International Journal of Conflict Management, 3, 259-275.
Borisoff, D., & Victor, D. A. (1989). Conflict management: A communication skills approach. Englewood Cliffs,
NJ: Prentice-Hall.
De Dreu, C. K. W. & Weingart, L. R. (2003) Task versus relationship conflict, team performance, and team
member satisfaction: A meta-analysis. Journal of Applied Psychology, 4, 741-749.
DeChurch, L. A, & Marks, M. A. (2001) Maximizing the benefits of task conflict: The role of conflict
management. The International Journal of Conflict Management, 12, 4-22.
Follett, M. P. (1940). Constructive conflict. In H. C. Metcalf & L. Urwick (Eds.), Dynamic administration: The
collected papers of Mary Parker Follett (pp. 30-49). New York: Harper & Row. (originally published 1926).
Guetzkow, H., & Gyr, J. (1954). An analysis of conflict in decision-making groups. Hitman Relations, 7, 367-
381.
Jehn, K. A. (1995). A multimethod examination of the benefits and determinants of intragroup conflict.
Administrative Science Quarterly, 40, 256-282.
Jehn, K. A. (1997). A qualitative analysis of conflict types and dimensions of organizational groups.
Administrative Science Quarterly, 42, 530-557.
Jehn, K. A., Northcraft, G. B., & Neale, M. A. (1999). Why differences make a difference: A field study of
diversity, conflict, and performance in workgroups. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44, 741-763.
Kozan, M. K. (1997) Culture and conflict management: A theoretical framework. The International Journal of
Conflict Management, 8, 338-360.
Kuhn, T., & Poole, M. S. (2000). Do conflict management styles affect group decision making? Human
Communication Research, 26, 558-590.
Luthans, F., Rubach, M. J., & Marsnik, P. (1995). Going beyond total quality: The characteristics, techniques,
and measures of learning organizations. International Journal of Organizational Analysis, 3, 24-44.
Pinkley, R. L. (1990). Dimensions of conflict frame: Disputant interpretations of conflict. Journal of Applied
Psychology, 75, 117-126.
Pruitt, D. G. (1983). Strategic choice in negotiation. American Behavioral Scientist, 27, 167-194.
Rahim, M. A. (1992). Managing conflict in organizations (2nd ed.). Westport, CT: Praeger.
Rahim, M. A. (2002) Toward a theory of managing organizational conflict. The International Journal of Conflict
Management, 13, 206-235.
Rahim, M. A., & Bonoma, T. V. (1979). Managing organizational conflict: A model for diagnosis and
Conflict occurs with two or more people who, despite their first attempts at agreement, do not yet have agreement on a course of action, usually because their values, perspectives and opinions are contradictory in nature. Conflict can occur:
1. Within yourself when you are not living according to your values.2. When your values and perspectives are threatened.3. When there is discomfort from fear of the unknown or from lack of fulfillment.
Conflict is inevitable and often necessary when forming high-performing teams because they evolve through “form, storm, norm and perform” periods. Getting the most out of diversity often means addressing contradictory values, perspectives and opinions. Conflict is often needed. It:
Helps to raise and address problems. Energizes work to be focused on the most important priorities. Helps people “be real” and motivates them to fully participate. Helps people learn how to recognize and benefit from their differences.
Conflict is not the same as discomfort. The conflict is not the problem – poor management of the conflict is the problem. Conflict is a problem when it:
Hampers productivity. Lowers morale. Causes more and continued conflicts. Causes inappropriate behaviors.
Types of Managerial Actions That Cause Workplace Conflicts
Employees experience continual surprises, for example, they are not informed of major decisions that affect their workplaces and lives.
Employees do not understand the reasons for the decisions – they are not involved in the decision-making.
As a result, they trust the “rumor mill” more than their management.
2. The alignment or the amount of resources is insufficient. There is:
Disagreement about “who does what.” Stress from working with inadequate resources.
3.“Personal chemistry,” including conflicting values or actions, for example:
Strong interpersonal natures among workers do not seem to match. We do not like others because they seem too much like ourselves (we often do not
like in others what we do not like in ourselves).
4. Leadership problems
For example, inconsistent, missing, too-strong or uninformed leadership (at any level in the organization), evidenced by:
Avoiding conflict, “passing the buck” with little follow-through on decisions. Employees see the same continued issues in the workplace. Supervisors do not understand the jobs of their subordinates.
Key Managerial Actions / Structures to Minimize Conflicts
5. Develop procedures for routine tasks and include the employees’ input.
Have employees write procedures when possible and appropriate. Get employees’ review of the procedures. Distribute the procedures. Train employees about the procedures.
6. Regularly hold management meetings with all employees.
For example, every month, communicate new initiatives and status of current products or services.
7. Consider an anonymous suggestion box in which employees can provide suggestions.
This can be powerful means to collect honest feedback, especially in very conflicted workplaces.
There is no one best way to deal with conflict. It depends on the current situation. Here are the major ways that people use to deal with conflict:
1. You can avoid it.
Pretend it is not there or ignore it. Use this approach only when it simply is not worth the effort to argue. Be aware that this approach tends to worsen the conflict over time.
2. You can accommodate it.
You can give in to others, sometimes to the extent that you compromise yourself. Use this approach very sparingly and infrequently, for example, in situations when you know that you will have another more useful approach in the very near future. Usually this approach tends to worsen the conflict over time, and causes conflicts within yourself.
3. You can compete with the others.
You can work to get your way, rather than clarifying and addressing the issue. Competitors love accommodators. Use this approach when you have a very strong conviction about your position.
4. Compromising.
You can engage in mutual give-and-take. This approach is used when the goal is to get past the issue and move on together.
5. Collaborating.
You can focus on working together. Use this approach when the goal is to meet as many current needs as possible by using mutual resources. This approach sometimes raises new mutual needs. Collaboration can also be used when the goal is to cultivate ownership and commitment.
1. Know what you do not like about yourself, early on in your career.
We often do not like in others what we do not want to see in ourselves. Write down 5 traits that really bug you when see them in others. Be aware that these traits are your “hot buttons.”
2. Manage yourself. If you and/or another person are getting upset, then manage yourself to stay calm:
Speak to the person as if the other person is not upset – this can be very effective! Avoid use of the word “you” – this avoids your appearing to be blaming the person. Nod your head to assure the person that you heard him/her. Maintain eye contact with the person.
3. Move the discussion to a private area, if possible.
Many times, moving to a new environment invites both of you to see or feel differently.
4. Give the other person time to vent.
Do not interrupt the person or judge what he/she is saying.
5. Verify that you are accurately hearing each other. When the other person is done speaking:
Ask the person to let you rephrase (uninterrupted) what you are hearing to ensure you are hearing it correctly.
To understand the person more, ask open-ended questions (avoid “why” questions – those questions often make people feel defensive).
6. Repeat the above step, for the other to verify that he/she is hearing you. Describe your perspective:
Use “I”, not “you.”
Talk in terms of the present as much as possible. Quickly mention your feelings.
7. Acknowledge where you disagree and where you agree.
One of the most powerful means to resolve conflict is to mention where you both agree.
8. Discuss the matter on which you disagree, not the nature of the other person.
Ask “What can we do fix the problem?” The person might begin to complain again. Then ask the same question. Focus on actions you both can do. Ask the other person if they will support the action(s). If the person will not, then ask for a “cooling off period”.
9. Thank the person for working with you.
It takes patience for a person to engage in meaningful conversation during conflict. Acknowledge and thank the other person for his/her effort.
10. If the situation remains a conflict, then:
Conclude if the other person’s behavior violates one of the personnel policies and procedures in the workplace and if it does, then follow the policy’s terms for addressing that violation.
Otherwise, consider whether to agree to disagree. Consider seeking a third party to mediate.
Additional Perspectives on Conflict Management
Basic Advice (Suggestions, Steps and Tips)
Basics of Conflict Management (conflict within yourself or with others)Conflict - An Essential Ingredient For Growth (basic styles to deal with conflict)Kare Anderson: Six Off-Beat Ways to Get Along BetterKare Anderson: Keeping Cool While Under FireHow to Resolve Conflicts (basics in one-on-one relationship, meetings and in negotiations)The Right Way to FightThe Good Fight: How Conflict Can Help Your IdeaConflict to CollaborationHow to Agreeably Disagree in 4 StepsHow to Confront Without Conflict5 Ways to Foster Healthy Communication in Conflict SituationsMediating a Workplace Conflict7 Tips to Prepare for a Challenging Discussion
Career Misfire: You've Said Things You Now RegretHow Project Managers Can Manage ConflictIs Conflict at Work Good or Bad?
Towards Broader Views on Conflict in Organizations
13 Conflict Management SkillsDealing With ConflictThe Good Fight: How Conflict Can Help Your IdeaWhen You Don't Want Employees to AgreeHow to Fix Misunderstandings at Work and in LifeCreate a Conflict Resolution CultureConflict to Collaboration
Assessments
Free instrument for measuring the cost of organizational conflictConflict Assessment
Free, Online Book
Helping Others Resolve Differences: Empowering StakeholdersGuide to Advertising and Marketing Regulations
Miscellaneous Topics
Can Conflict in Nonprofits Be Managed Successfully?Addressing Interpersonal ConflictsAkaido and Conflict Resolution
General Resources About Conflict Management
Bully OnlineMediation Information and Resource CenterArticles, Instruments, ResourcesConflict Research ConsortiumTransformative Approaches to Conflict ResolutionA Comparison of Conflict Style Inventories
For the Category of Interpersonal Skills:
To round out your knowledge of this Library topic, you may want to review some related topics, available from the link below. Each of the related topics includes free, online resources.
Also, scan the Recommended Books listed below. They have been selected for their relevance and highly practical nature.
Conf l i c t Management Sk i l l sG r e g o r i o B i l l i k o p f
D O W N L O A D F R E E M E D I A T I O N A N D C O N F L I C T M A N A G E M E N T
B O O K I N P D F F O R M A T , O V E R 3 0 0 P A G E S , b y G r e g o r i o B i l l i k o p f ,
U N I V E R S I T Y O F C A L I F O R N I A ( P a r t y - D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n , 2 n d
E d i t i o n , 2 0 0 9 ) . C o v e r s d e e p - s e a t e d c o n f l i c t s b e t w e e n p e e r s , a s
w e l l a s a s e p a r a t e m o d e l f o r s u p e r v i s o r - s u b o r d i n a t e c o n f l i c t
m a n a g e m e n t a n d m e d i a t i o n .
B e t h j u s t g o t t u r n e d d o w n b y C a r l o s , t h e m e c h a n i c . S h e h a d a s k e d
C a r l o s t o p l a n o n w o r k i n g a c o u p l e o f o v e r t i m e h o u r s t h i s c o m i n g
T h u r s d a y a n d F r i d a y e v e n i n g s . B e t h ' s n o s e w a s a b i t b e n t o u t o f
j o i n t . S h e w o n d e r e d i f C a r l o s d i d n o t y i e l d t o h e r b e c a u s e s h e w a s
t o o k i n d w h e n s h e a s k e d . O r , b e c a u s e s h e w a s a w o m a n . O r ,
b e c a u s e C a r l o s w a s e n v i o u s t h a t s h e g o t t h e s u p e r v i s o r y p o s i t i o n
f o r w h i c h b o t h h a d c o m p e t e d . C a r l o s w a s u n c o m f o r t a b l e w i t h t h e
i n t e r a c t i o n , t o o .
I f C a r l o s h a d n o c l u e t h a t B e t h w a s u p s e t , w o u l d t h i s s c e n e s t i l l
c o n s t i t u t e i n t e r p e r s o n a l c o n f l i c t ? P e r h a p s . T h e s e e d s o f c o n f l i c t
a r e p l a n t e d w h e n d i s h a r m o n y i s f e l t w i t h i n a n y o n e o f t h e
p a r t i c i p a n t s . N e x t t i m e B e t h a p p r o a c h e s C a r l o s s h e m a y c h a n g e
h e r a p p r o a c h . S h e m a y b e m o r e a b r u p t , l e a d i n g C a r l o s t o w o n d e r
i f B e t h g o t u p o n t h e w r o n g s i d e o f t h e b e d . C a r l o s m a y t h e n , i n
t u r n , r e a c t n e g a t i v e l y t o B e t h , t h u s e s c a l a t i n g t h e c o n f l i c t .
I n d i v i d u a l s s o m e t i m e s e n c o u n t e r s t r e s s a n d n e g a t i v e e m o t i o n o u t
o f a n i n t e r a c t i o n — w h e t h e r o r n o t t h e y e v e r c o n f r o n t e a c h o t h e r
a b o u t t h e i r f e e l i n g s .
W h e r e v e r c h o i c e s e x i s t t h e r e i s p o t e n t i a l f o r d i s a g r e e m e n t . S u c h
d i f f e r e n c e s , w h e n h a n d l e d p r o p e r l y , c a n r e s u l t i n r i c h e r , m o r e
e f f e c t i v e , c r e a t i v e s o l u t i o n s a n d i n t e r a c t i o n . B u t a l a s , i t i s d i f f i c u l t
t o c o n s i s t e n t l y t u r n d i f f e r e n c e s i n t o o p p o r t u n i t i e s . W h e n
d i s a g r e e m e n t i s p o o r l y d e a l t w i t h , t h e o u t c o m e c a n b e c o n t e n t i o n .
C o n t e n t i o n c r e a t e s a s e n s e o f p s y c h o l o g i c a l d i s t a n c e b e t w e e n
p e o p l e , s u c h a s f e e l i n g s o f d i s l i k e , b i t t e r a n t a g o n i s m , c o m p e t i t i o n ,
a l i e n a t i o n , a n d d i s r e g a r d .
W h e t h e r d e a l i n g w i t h f a m i l y m e m b e r s o r h i r e d p e r s o n n e l , s o o n e r o r
l a t e r c h a l l e n g e s w i l l a r i s e . I t i s u n l i k e l y t h a t w e f i n d o u r s e l v e s a t a
l o s s o f w o r d s w h e n d e a l i n g w i t h f a m i l y m e m b e r s . C o m m u n i c a t i o n
p a t t e r n s w i t h t h o s e c l o s e s t t o u s a r e n o t a l w a y s p o s i t i v e , h o w e v e r ,
o f t e n f a l l i n g i n t o a p r e d i c t a b l e a n d i n e f f e c t i v e e x c h a n g e .
W i t h h i r e d p e r s o n n e l a n d s t r a n g e r s , w e m a y o f t e n t r y a n d p u t f o r t h
o u r b e s t b e h a v i o r . O u t o f c o n c e r n f o r h o w w e a r e p e r c e i v e d , w e
m a y e r r i n s a y i n g t o o l i t t l e w h e n t h i n g s g o w r o n g . W e m a y s u f f e r
f o r a l o n g t i m e b e f o r e b r i n g i n g i s s u e s u p . T h i s i s e s p e c i a l l y s o
d u r i n g w h a t c o u l d b e c a l l e d a " c o u r t i n g p e r i o d . " I n s t e a d o f s a y i n g
t h i n g s d i r e c t l y , w e o f t e n t r y t o h i n t .
B u t t h e h o n e y m o o n i s l i k e l y t o e n d s o o n e r o r l a t e r . A t s o m e p o i n t
t h i s " c o u r t i n g b e h a v i o r " o f t e n g e t s p u s h e d a s i d e o u t o f n e c e s s i t y .
W e m a y f i n d i t e a s i e r t o s w e e p p r o b l e m s u n d e r t h e p s y c h o l o g i c a l
r u g u n t i l t h e m o u n d o f d i r t i s s o l a r g e w e c a n n o t h e l p b u t t r i p o v e r
i t . S o m e t i m e a f t e r t h a t t r a n s i t i o n i s m a d e , i t m a y b e c o m e a l l t o o
e a s y t o s t a r t t e l l i n g t h e e m p l o y e e o r c o - w o r k e r e x a c t l y w h a t h a s t o
b e d o n e d i f f e r e n t l y . A n i s o l a t e d e p i s o d e s u c h a s t h e o n e b e t w e e n
B e t h a n d C a r l o s m a y o r m a y n o t a f f e c t t h e i r f u t u r e w o r k i n g
r e l a t i o n s h i p .
P e r s o n s d i f f e r i n t h e i r s e n s i t i v i t y t o c o m m e n t s o r a c t i o n s o f o t h e r s ,
a s w e l l a s t h e i r a b i l i t y t o d e a l w i t h t h e s t r e s s c r e a t e d b y a c o n f l i c t
s i t u a t i o n . W h i l e i t i s i m p o r t a n t t h a t w e a r e s e n s i t i v e t o h o w w e
a f f e c t o t h e r s , t h e r e i s m u c h v i r t u e i n n o t t a k i n g o f f e n s e e a s i l y
o u r s e l v e s . O r b y f i n d i n g c o n s t r u c t i v e o u t l e t s t o d i s s i p a t e s t r e s s f u l
f e e l i n g s ( e . g . , e x e r c i s e , m u s i c , r e a d i n g , a n a c t o f s e r v i c e t o
a n o t h e r , o r e v e n a g o o d n i g h t ' s s l e e p ) . I t d o e s l i t t l e g o o d ,
h o w e v e r , t o a p p e a r u n a f f e c t e d w h i l e s t e a m b u i l d s u p w i t h i n a n d
e v e n t u a l l y e x p l o d e s .
W h e n d i s a g r e e m e n t s e m e r g e i t i s e a s y t o h e a r w i t h o u t l i s t e n i n g .
P e o p l e i n v o l v e d i n c o n f l i c t o f t e n e n l i s t o t h e r s t o s u p p o r t t h e i r
p e r s p e c t i v e a n d t h u s a v o i d t r y i n g t o w o r k m a t t e r s o u t d i r e c t l y w i t h
t h e a f f e c t e d p e r s o n .
O u r s e l f - e s t e e m i s m o r e f r a g i l e t h a n m o s t o f u s w o u l d l i k e t o a d m i t
( s e e C h a p t e r 6 , S i d e b a r 3 ) . U n r e s o l v e d c o n f l i c t o f t e n t h r e a t e n
w h a t e v e r s e l f - e s t e e m w e m a y p o s s e s s . B y f i n d i n g s o m e o n e w h o
a g r e e s w i t h u s , w e f a l s e l y e l e v a t e t h a t s e l f - e s t e e m . B u t w e o n l y
b u i l d o n s a n d . O u r s e l f - e s t e e m w i l l b e c o n s t r u c t e d o v e r a f i r m e r
f o u n d a t i o n w h e n w e l e a r n t o d e a l e f f e c t i v e l y w i t h t h e c o n f l i c t . I n
S p a n i s h t h e r e a r e t w o r e l a t e d w o r d s , s e l f - e s t e e m i s
c a l l e d a u t o e s t i m a , w h i l e f a l s e s e l f - e s t e e m i s c a l l e d a m o r
p r o p i o ( l i t e r a l l y , " s e l f - l o v e " ) .
I t t a k e s m o r e s k i l l , e f f o r t a n d c o m m i t m e n t - - a n d , a t l e a s t i n t h e
s h o r t r u n , m o r e s t r e s s - - t o f a c e t h e c h a l l e n g e t o g e t h e r w i t h t h e
o t h e r p e r s o n i n v o l v e d i n t h e d i s p u t e . C e r t a i n l y i t s e e m s a s i f i t
w o u l d b e e a s i e r t o f i g h t , w i t h d r a w , o r g i v e i n . Y e t i n t h e l o n g r u n ,
w o r k i n g t h r o u g h d i f f i c u l t i e s t o g e t h e r w i l l h e l p u s l i v e a l e s s
s t r e s s f u l a n d m o r e f u l f i l l i n g l i f e .
F i g h t i n g i t o u t . A m a n s a t i n h i s t r a i n c o m p a r t m e n t l o o k i n g o u t i n t o
t h e s e r e n e R u s s i a n c o u n t r y s i d e . T w o w o m e n e n t e r e d t o j o i n h i m .
O n e h e l d a l a p d o g . T h e w o m e n l o o k e d a t t h i s m a n w i t h c o n t e m p t ,
f o r h e w a s s m o k i n g . I n d e s p e r a t i o n , o n e o f t h e w o m e n g o t u p ,
l i f t e d u p t h e w i n d o w , t o o k t h e c i g a r o f f t h e m a n ’ s l i p s , a n d t h r e w i t
o u t . T h e m a n s a t t h e r e f o r a w h i l e , a n d t h e n p r o c e e d e d t o r e - o p e n
t h e w i n d o w , g r a b t h e w o m a n ’ s d o g f r o m o f f h e r l a p , a n d t h r o w i t
o u t t h e w i n d o w . N o , t h i s i s n o t a s t o r y f r o m t o d a y ’ s R u s s i a n
n e w s p a p e r , i n s t e a d i t i s f r o m F y o d o r D o s t o e v s k y ’ s 1 9 t h c e n t u r y
n o v e l , T h e I d i o t . T h e n u m b e r a n d s e r i o u s n e s s o f w o r k p l a c e
v i o l e n c e c a s e s i n a g r i c u l t u r e s e e m s t o b e o n t h e r i s e , a n d f a r m
e m p l o y e r s c a n r e s p o n d w i t h e f f e c t i v e p o l i c i e s a n d i n c r e a s e d
e d u c a t i o n .
Y i e l d i n g . W h i l e m o s t c a n r e a d i l y s e e t h e n e g a t i v e c o n s e q u e n c e s
a n d u g l i n e s s o f e s c a l a t i n g c o n t e n t i o n , w e o f t e n d o n o t c o n s i d e r
h o w u n p r o d u c t i v e a n d h a r m f u l w i t h d r a w i n g o r g i v i n g i n c a n b e .
N a t u r a l l y , t h e r e a r e o c c a s i o n s w h e n d o i n g s o i s n o t o n l y w i s e , b u t
h o n o r a b l e ( a s t h e r e a r e t i m e s t o s t a n d f i r m ) . I f a p e r s o n f e e l s
o b l i g a t e d t o c o n t i n u a l l y g i v e i n a n d l e t a n o t h e r h a v e h i s w a y , s u c h
y i e l d i n g i n d i v i d u a l m a y s t o p c a r i n g a n d w i t h d r a w p s y c h o l o g i c a l l y
f r o m t h e s i t u a t i o n .
A v o i d a n c e . W h e n w e e n g a g e i n a v o i d a n c e , i t o n l y w e a k e n s a l r e a d y
f r a g i l e r e l a t i o n s h i p s . T h e s e " o t h e r s " ( e . g . , s y m p a t h e t i c c o -
w o r k e r s ) u s u a l l y t e n d t o a g r e e w i t h u s . T h e y d o s o n o t j u s t
b e c a u s e t h e y a r e o u r f r i e n d s , b u t m o s t l y b e c a u s e t h e y s e e t h e
c o n f l i c t a n d p o s s i b l e s o l u t i o n s f r o m o u r p e r s p e c t i v e . A f t e r a l l , t h e y
h e a r d t h e s t o r y f r o m u s . O n c e a p e r s o n h a s t h e s u p p o r t o f a
f r i e n d , s h e m a y f e e l j u s t i f i e d i n h e r b e h a v i o r a n d n o t t r y t o p u t a s
m u c h e n e r g y i n t o s o l v i n g t h e c o n f l i c t .
O n e p a r t i c u l a r l y d a m a g i n g f o r m o f c o n f l i c t a v o i d a n c e i s t o s e n d
s o m e o n e e l s e t o d e l i v e r a m e s s a g e o r c o n f r o n t a n o t h e r o n o u r
b e h a l f . A t b e s t , t h e i n d i v i d u a l n o t s p o k e n t o d i r e c t l y w i l l b e h u r t
t h a t s u c h a t a c t i c w a s t a k e n . A t w o r s t , t h e g o - b e t w e e n p e r s o n
c h e r i s h e s t h e p o w e r t r i p i n v o l v e d , a l l o w i n g h i m s e l f t o b e c o m e a
s o r t o f a r b i t e r i n t h e c o n f l i c t .
W e o f t e n a r e t o o q u i c k t o a s s u m e t h a t a d i s a g r e e m e n t h a s n o
p o s s i b l e m u t u a l l y a c c e p t a b l e s o l u t i o n . T a l k i n g a b o u t
d i s a g r e e m e n t s m a y r e s u l t i n o p p o r t u n i t i e s t o s t r e n g t h e n
r e l a t i o n s h i p s a n d i m p r o v e p r o d u c t i v i t y . O b v i o u s l y , t a l k i n g
p r o b l e m s t h r o u g h i s n o t s o e a s y . C o n f r o n t i n g a n i s s u e m a y r e q u i r e
( 1 ) e x p o s i n g o n e s e l f t o r i d i c u l e o r r e j e c t i o n , ( 2 ) r e c o g n i z i n g w e
m a y h a v e c o n t r i b u t e d t o t h e p r o b l e m , a n d ( 3 ) w i l l i n g n e s s t o
c h a n g e .
W e c a n r e d u c e s t r e s s , r e s o l v e c h a l l e n g e s a n d i n c r e a s e
p r o d u c t i v i t y t h r o u g h e f f e c t i v e d i a l o g u e . S u c h a c o n v e r s a t i o n
e n t a i l s a s m u c h l i s t e n i n g a s t a l k i n g . W h i l e e f f e c t i v e t w o - w a y
e x c h a n g e s w i l l h a p p e n n a t u r a l l y s o m e o f t h e t i m e , f o r t h e m o s t
p a r t t h e y n e e d t o b e c a r e f u l l y p l a n n e d . T h e r e m a y b e s o m e p a i n - -
o r a t l e a s t m o v i n g u s o u t o f o u r c o m f o r t z o n e s - - i n v o l v e d i n
d i s c u s s i n g c h a l l e n g i n g i s s u e s , b u t t h e r e w a r d s a r e s a t i s f a c t i o n
a n d i m p r o v e d l o n g - t e r m r e l a t i o n s h i p s .
W h e n f a c e d w i t h c h a l l e n g e s , w e t e n d t o r e v i e w p o s s i b l e
a l t e r n a t i v e s a n d c o m e u p w i t h t h e b e s t s o l u t i o n g i v e n t h e d a t a a t
h a n d . U n w a n t e d o p t i o n s a r e d i s c a r d e d . W h i l e s o m e d e c i s i o n s m a y
t a k e c a r e f u l c o n s i d e r a t i o n , a n a l y s i s , a n d e v e n a g o n y , w e s o l v e
o t h e r s a l m o s t i n s t i n c t i v e l y . O u r b e s t s o l u t i o n b e c o m e s
o u r p o s i t i o n o r s t a n c e i n t h e m a t t e r .
O u r n e e d s , c o n c e r n s a n d f e a r s a l l p l a y a p a r t i n c o m i n g u p w i t h
s u c h a p o s i t i o n . M i s u n d e r s t a n d i n g a n d d i s s e n t c a n g r o w t h e i r u g l y
h e a d s w h e n o u r s o l u t i o n i s n o t t h e s a m e a s t h o s e o f o t h e r s .
S e v e r a l f o e s o f t e n c o m b i n e t o c r e a t e c o n t e n t i o n :
O u r f i r s t e n e m y i s t h e n a t u r a l n e e d t o w a n t t o e x p l a i n o u r
s i d e f i r s t . A f t e r a l l , w e r e a s o n , i f t h e y u n d e r s t a n d o u r
p e r s p e c t i v e , t h e y w i l l c o m e t o t h e s a m e c o n c l u s i o n s w e d i d .
O u r s e c o n d e n e m y i s o u r i n e f f e c t i v e n e s s a s l i s t e n e r s .
L i s t e n i n g i s m u c h m o r e t h a n b e i n g q u i e t s o w e c a n h a v e
o u r t u r n . I t i n v o l v e s a r e a l e f f o r t t o u n d e r s t a n d a n o t h e r
p e r s o n ' s p e r s p e c t i v e .
O u r t h i r d e n e m y i s f e a r . F e a r t h a t w e w i l l n o t g e t o u r w a y .
F e a r o f l o s i n g s o m e t h i n g w e c h e r i s h . F e a r w e w i l l b e m a d e
t o l o o k f o o l i s h o r l o s e f a c e . F e a r o f t h e t r u t h . . . t h a t w e
m a y b e w r o n g .
O u r f o u r t h e n e m y i s t h e a s s u m p t i o n t h a t o n e o f u s h a s t o
l o s e i f t h e o t h e r i s g o i n g t o w i n : t h a t s u c h d i f f e r e n c e s c a n
o n l y b e s o l v e d c o m p e t i t i v e l y .
T h e g o o d n e w s i s t h a t t h e r e a r e s i m p l e a n d e f f e c t i v e t o o l s t o s p i n
p o s i t i v e s o l u t i o n s a n d s t r e n g t h e n r e l a t i o n s h i p s o u t o f
d i s a g r e e m e n t s . B u t l e t n o t t h e s i m p l i c i t y o f t h e c o n c e p t s o b s c u r e
t h e c h a l l e n g e o f c a r r y i n g t h e m o u t c o n s i s t e n t l y . C e r t a i n l y l i f e
g i v e s u s p l e n t y o f o p p o r t u n i t i e s t o p r a c t i c e a n d a t t e m p t t o
i m p r o v e . H o w e v e r , t h e f o e s o u t l i n e d a b o v e t a k e e f f o r t t o
o v e r c o m e .
T o o l s f o r I m p r o v e d C o m m u n i c a t i o n
T w o p r i n c i p l e s h a v e c o n t r i b u t e d g r e a t l y t o t h e p r o d u c t i v e h a n d l i n g
o f d i s a g r e e m e n t s . T h e f i r s t , " S e e k f i r s t t o u n d e r s t a n d , t h e n t o b e
u n d e r s t o o d , " w a s i n t r o d u c e d b y S t e v e n C o v e y , i n S e v e n H a b i t s o f
H i g h l y E f f e c t i v e P e o p l e . 1 I f w e e n c o u r a g e o t h e r s t o e x p l a i n t h e i r
s i d e f i r s t , t h e y w i l l b e m o r e a p t t o l i s t e n t o o u r s .
F o r i n s t a n c e , I s o m e t i m e s n e e d t o i n t e r v i e w f a r m p e r s o n n e l a b o u t
t h e i r f e e l i n g s o n v a r i o u s s u b j e c t s . O n e d a y I c a m e a c r o s s a f a r m
o w n e r w h o w a s l e s s t h a n e n t h u s i a s t i c a b o u t m y p r o j e c t .
I t w a s c l e a r f r o m h i s w o r d s a n d t o n e t h a t I w o u l d n o t b e
i n t e r v i e w i n g a n y o n e o n h i s f a r m , s o I s w i t c h e d m y f o c u s t o
l i s t e n i n g . T h e f a r m e r s h a r e d c o n c e r n s o n a n u m b e r o f t r o u b l e s o m e
i s s u e s a n d w e p a r t e d a m i a b l y . W h e n I w a s o n m y w a y t o m y
v e h i c l e t h e f a r m e r y e l l e d , " G o a h e a d ! "
" G o a h e a d a n d w h a t ? " I t u r n e d a r o u n d a n d i n q u i r e d . T o m y
s u r p r i s e h e r e s p o n d e d , " G o a h e a d a n d i n t e r v i e w m y w o r k e r s . " T h e
C o v e y p r i n c i p l e w a s a t w o r k .
T h e s e c o n d p r i n c i p l e , i n t r o d u c e d b y R o g e r F i s h e r a n d W i l l i a m U r y
i n t h e i r s e m i n a l w o r k , G e t t i n g t o Y e s , 2 i s t h a t p e o p l e i n
d i s a g r e e m e n t s h o u l d f o c u s o n t h e i r n e e d s r a t h e r t h a n o n t h e i r
p o s i t i o n s . B y c o n c e n t r a t i n g o n p o s i t i o n s , w e t e n d t o u n d e r s c o r e
o u r d i s a g r e e m e n t s . W h e n w e c o n c e n t r a t e o n n e e d s , w e f i n d w e
h a v e m o r e i n c o m m o n t h a n w h a t w e h a d a s s u m e d . U r y a n d F i s h e r
s u g g e s t w e a t t e m p t t o s a t i s f y t h e s u m o f b o t h t h e i r n e e d s a n d o u r
n e e d s .
W h e n t h e l i g h t g o e s o n w e r e a l i z e t h a t i t i s n o t a z e r o s u m
g a m e ( w h e r e o n e p e r s o n h a s t o l o s e f o r t h e o t h e r t o w i n ) . N o r i s i t
n e c e s s a r y t o s o l v e d i s a g r e e m e n t s w i t h a l a m e c o m p r o m i s e .
I n s t e a d , o f t e n b o t h p a r t i e s c a n b e w i n n e r s . I n d i v i d u a l s c a n l e a r n
h o w t o k e e p c o m m u n i c a t i o n l i n e s o p e n a n d s o l v e c h a l l e n g e s w h e n
t h i n g s g o w r o n g . L e a r n i n g t o d i s a g r e e a m i c a b l y a n d w o r k t h r o u g h
p r o b l e m s i s p e r h a p s o n e o f t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t i n t e r p e r s o n a l s k i l l s
w e c a n d e v e l o p .
P u t t i n g i t a l l t o g e t h e r
I f w e c o m e r i g h t o u t a n d t e l l s o m e o n e , " I d i s a g r e e , " w e a r e a p t t o
a l i e n a t e t h a t p e r s o n . S u c c e s s f u l n e g o t i a t o r s a r e m o r e l i k e l y t o
l a b e l t h e i r i n t e n t i o n s , s u c h a s a d e s i r e t o a s k a d i f f i c u l t q u e s t i o n
o r p r o v i d e a s u g g e s t i o n , a n d a r e l e s s p r o n e t o l a b e l
d i s a g r e e m e n t . 3 P r o b l e m s a r e l i k e l y , h o w e v e r , t o i n c r e a s e i f w e p u t
a l l o u r n e e d s a s i d e t o f o c u s o n a n o t h e r p e r s o n ’ s p e r s p e c t i v e . T h e
o t h e r p a r t y m a y t h i n k w e h a v e n o n e e d s a n d b e q u i t e t a k e n b a c k
w h e n w e i n t r o d u c e t h e m a l l o f a s u d d e n , a l m o s t a s a n
a f t e r t h o u g h t .
I n o r d e r t o a v o i d s u c h u n p r o d u c t i v e s h o c k , I l i k e t h e i d e a o f b r i e f l y
s a y i n g s o m e t h i n g a l o n g t h e s e l i n e s . " I s e e t h a t w e l o o k a t t h i s
i s s u e f r o m d i f f e r e n t p e r s p e c t i v e s . W h i l e I w a n t t o s h a r e m y n e e d s
a n d v i e w s w i t h y o u l a t e r , l e t m e f i r s t f o c u s o n y o u r t h o u g h t s ,
n e e d s , a n d o b s e r v a t i o n s . " A t t h i s p o i n t , w e c a n n o w p u t o u r n e e d s
a s i d e , a t t e m p t t o t r u l y l i s t e n , a n d s a y : " S o , h e l p m e u n d e r s t a n d
w h a t y o u r c o n c e r n s a r e r e g a r d i n g . . . . "
T h a t i s t h e e a s y p a r t . T h e d i f f i c u l t y c o m e s i n f u l f i l l i n g s u c h a
r e s o l u t i o n t o r e a l l y l i s t e n t o r e s i s t t h e t e n d e n c y t o i n t e r r u p t w i t h
o b j e c t i o n s n o m a t t e r h o w u n f o u n d e d s o m e o f t h e c o m m e n t s m a y
b e . I n s t e a d o f t e l l i n g s o m e o n e t h a t w e u n d e r s t a n d ( j u s t s o t h e y
c a n f i n i s h a n d g i v e u s a t u r n t o p r e s e n t o u r p e r s p e c t i v e ) , w e c a n
b e m u c h m o r e e f f e c t i v e b y r e v e a l i n g e x a c t l y w h a t i t i s t h a t w e
u n d e r s t a n d . A l l a l o n g w e m u s t r e s i s t , a s w e l i s t e n , t h e t e m p t a t i o n
t o b r i n g u p o u r v i e w p o i n t s a n d c o n c e r n s . I n t r y i n g t o c o m p r e h e n d ,
w e m a y n e e d t o p u t o u r u n d e r s t a n d i n g i n t e r m s o f a q u e s t i o n , o r a
t e n t a t i v e s t a t e m e n t . T h i s w a y w e s h o w t r u e a w a r e n e s s .
W e m a y h a v e t o r e f i n e o u r s t a t e m e n t u n t i l t h e o t h e r s t a k e h o l d e r
a p p r o v e s i t a s a c o r r e c t u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f h i s p o s i t i o n o r n e e d . I t i s
n e c e s s a r y n o t o n l y t o u n d e r s t a n d , b u t f o r t h e o t h e r p e r s o n t o f e e l
u n d e r s t o o d . O n l y n o w c a n w e b e g i n t o e x p l a i n o u r p e r s p e c t i v e a n d
e x p e c t t o b e f u l l y l i s t e n e d t o . O n c e w e h a v e l a i d o u t o u r c o n c e r n s ,
w e c a n f o c u s o n a c r e a t i v e s o l u t i o n . I f w e h a v e h a d n o h i s t o r y w i t h
s o m e o n e , o r a n e g a t i v e o n e , w e n e e d t o u s e m o r e c a u t i o n w h e n
d i s a g r e e i n g . T h e p o t e n t i a l f o r a d i s a g r e e m e n t t o b e s i d e - r a i l e d
i n t o c o n t e n t i o n i s a l w a y s t h e r e . I t h e l p s i f w e h a v e m a d e g o o d w i l l
d e p o s i t s o v e r t i m e .
Involving a Third Party
S o m e t i m e s d i f f e r e n c e s i n o r g a n i z a t i o n a l l e v e l , p e r s o n a l i t y o r s e l f -
e s t e e m a m o n g t h e p a r t i c i p a n t s i n a d i s a g r e e m e n t r e q u i r e t h e
p a r t i c i p a t i o n o f a t h i r d p a r t y . F o r i n s t a n c e , o n e s u p e r v i s o r h a d
r e s o r t e d t o b u l l y i n g a n d i m p l i e d t h r e a t s t o g e t h i s w a y . " I w o u l d
h a v e g l a d l y t r i e d t o f i n d a w a y t o h e l p m y s u p e r v i s o r a c h i e v e h i s
g o a l s , " t h e s u b o r d i n a t e e x p l a i n e d t h r o u g h h e r t e a r s . " B u t n o w I a m
s o s e n s i t i z e d , I a m a f r a i d o f t a l k i n g t o h i m . "
T e l l i n g e m p l o y e e s t o w o r k o u t t h e i r t r o u b l e s o n t h e i r o w n , g r o w u p ,
o r s h a k e h a n d s a n d g e t a l o n g m a y w o r k o c c a s i o n a l l y , b u t m o s t o f
t h e t i m e t h e c o n f l i c t w i l l o n l y b e s e n t u n d e r g r o u n d t o r e s u r f a c e
l a t e r i n m o r e d e s t r u c t i v e w a y s .
A b e t t e r a p p r o a c h i s t o a l l o w e m p l o y e e s t o m e e t w i t h a t h i r d p a r t y ,
o r m e d i a t o r ( w h i c h , i n s o m e c a s e s , m a y b e a m a n a g e r o r t h e f a r m
o w n e r ) , t o a s s i s t t h e m i n t h e i r o w n r e s o l u t i o n o f t h e c o n f l i c t .
A l l t h i n g s b e i n g e q u a l , a n o u t s i d e m e d i a t o r h a s a g r e a t e r c h a n c e
o f s u c c e e d i n g . A n i n s i d e r m a y b e p a r t o f t h e p r o b l e m , m a y b e
p e r c e i v e d a s f a v o r i n g o n e o f t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s , a n d t h e
s t a k e h o l d e r s m a y b e h e s i t a n t t o s h a r e c o n f i d e n t i a l i n f o r m a t i o n
w i t h a n i n s i d e r .
I f t h e i n s i d e r i s a s u p e r v i s o r , t h e m e d i a t o r r o l e b e c o m e s m o r e
d i f f i c u l t , a s s u p e r v i s o r s t e n d t o b e c o m e o v e r l y d i r e c t i v e , t a k i n g
m o r e o f a n a r b i t e r ' s r o l e a n d f o r c i n g a d e c i s i o n u p o n t h e p a r t i e s .
T h e c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t p r o c e s s i s m o r e a p t t o s u c c e e d i f
s t a k e h o l d e r s h a v e r e s p e c t f o r t h e m e d i a t o r ' s i n t e g r i t y , i m p a r t i a l i t y ,
a n d a b i l i t y . R e s p e c t f o r t h e m e d i a t o r i s i m p o r t a n t , s o s t a k e h o l d e r s
w i l l b e o n t h e i r b e s t b e h a v i o r , a n i m p o r t a n t e l e m e n t i n s u c c e s s f u l
n e g o t i a t i o n . A l t h o u g h n o t a l w a y s t h e c a s e , o v e r - f a m i l i a r i t y w i t h a n
i n s i d e m e d i a t o r m a y n e g a t e t h i s " b e s t b e h a v i o r " e f f e c t .
A n o u t s i d e m e d i a t o r s h o u l d t r e a t i s s u e s w i t h c o n f i d e n t i a l i t y .
E x c e p t i o n s a r e s u c h i n s t a n c e s a s w h e r e i l l e g a l a c t i v i t i e s h a v e
t a k e n p l a c e ( e . g . , s e x u a l h a r a s s m e n t ) .
A l l p a r t i e s s h o u l d b e i n f o r m e d o f e x c e p t i o n s t o t h e c o n f i d e n t i a l i t y
r u l e a h e a d o f t i m e . A n y s h a r i n g o f i n f o r m a t i o n b a s e d o n t h e
e x c e p t i o n s n e e d s t o b e d o n e o n a n e e d - t o - k n o w b a s i s t o m i n i m i z e
g i v i n g o u t i n f o r m a t i o n t h a t c o u l d h u r t o n e o r b o t h o f t h e p a r t i e s .
E m p l o y e e s m a y b e l e s s h e s i t a n t t o s p e a k o u t w h e n a s s u r e d o f
c o n f i d e n t i a l i t y . S o m e t i m e s c o n f l i c t s i n v o l v e p e r s o n a l i s s u e s .
A m u c h m o r e s e n s i t i v e s i t u a t i o n i n v o l v e s t h e r o l e o f t h e m e d i a t o r
w h e n s t a k e h o l d e r s a r e n o t a b l e t o c o m e t o a n e g o t i a t e d r e s o l u t i o n .
R e s e a r c h e r s h a v e f o u n d t h a t , i n s o m e i n s t a n c e s , m e d i a t i o n w o r k s
b e s t w h e n t h e t h i r d p a r t y i s a b l e t o c h a n g e r o l e s , a n d i n t h e e v e n t
t h a t m e d i a t i o n f a i l s , b e c o m e a n a r b i t e r . O n t h e p l u s s i d e ,
s t a k e h o l d e r s m a y p u t t h e i r b e s t f o o t f o r w a r d a n d t r y h a r d t o
r e s o l v e i s s u e s . U n f o r t u n a t e l y , w h i l e s o m e m e d i a t o r s m a y b e a b l e
t o p l a y b o t h r o l e s w i t h o u t m a n i p u l a t i n g t h e s i t u a t i o n , t h e r o a d i s
l e f t w i d e o p e n f o r a b u s e o f p o w e r . F u r t h e r m o r e , i n d i v i d u a l s m a y
f e e l c o e r c e d a n d n o t t r u s t a m e d i a t o r w h e n w h a t i s s a i d i n
c o n f i d e n c e n o w m a y b e t a k e n a g a i n s t t h e m l a t e r .
M e d i a t i o n
M e d i a t i o n h e l p s s t a k e h o l d e r s d i s c u s s i s s u e s , r e p a i r p a s t i n j u r i e s ,
a n d d e v e l o p t h e t o o l s n e e d e d t o f a c e d i s a g r e e m e n t s e f f e c t i v e l y .
M e d i a t o r s m a y h e l p p a r t i c i p a n t s g l i m p s e a t t h e i r b l i n d s p o t s ,
b r o a d e n t h e i r p e r s p e c t i v e s , a n d e v e n m u d d l e t h r o u g h t h e p r o b l e m -
s o l v i n g p r o c e s s . Y e t , s u c c e s s f u l m e d i a t o r s r e m e m b e r t h a t t h e
c h a l l e n g e s a r e o w n e d b y t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s a n d d o n o t a t t e m p t t o
s h o r t - c i r c u i t t h e p r o c e s s b y s o l v i n g c h a l l e n g e s f o r t h e m .
M e d i a t o r s f a c i l i t a t e t h e p r o c e s s b y :
U n d e r s t a n d i n g e a c h p a r t i c i p a n t ’ s p e r s p e c t i v e t h r o u g h a
p r e - c a u c u s .
I n c r e a s i n g a n d e v a l u a t i n g p a r t i c i p a n t i n t e r e s t i n s o l v i n g t h e
c h a l l e n g e t h r o u g h m e d i a t i o n .
S e t t i n g g r o u n d r u l e s f o r i m p r o v e d c o m m u n i c a t i o n .
C o a c h i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s t h r o u g h t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n .
E q u a l i z i n g p o w e r ( e . g . , b e t w e e n p e r s o n s i n d i f f e r e n t
o r g a n i z a t i o n a l l e v e l s ) .
H e l p i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s p l a n f o r f u t u r e i n t e r a c t i o n .
U n d e r s t a n d i n g e a c h p a r t i c i p a n t ’ s p e r s p e c t i v e t h r o u g h a p r e - c a u c u s
T h e p r e - c a u c u s i s a s e p a r a t e m e e t i n g b e t w e e n t h e m e d i a t o r a n d
e a c h s t a k e h o l d e r b e f o r e t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s a r e b r o u g h t t o g e t h e r i n a
j o i n t s e s s i o n . D u r i n g t h e p r e - c a u c u s t h e m e d i a t o r w i l l b r i e f l y
e x p l a i n t h e i s s u e o f c o n f i d e n t i a l i t y a n d t h e m e c h a n i c s o f t h e
m e d i a t i o n p r o c e s s s o s t a k e h o l d e r s w i l l n o t b e s u r p r i s e d o r h a v e a
s e n s e o f b e i n g l o s t .
T h e m e d i a t o r a l s o s h o u l d o f f e r s t a k e h o l d e r s t h e o p p o r t u n i t y f o r
r e g u l a r c a u c u s i n g ( a m e e t i n g a w a y f r o m t h e o t h e r s t a k e h o l d e r ) a n y
t i m e t h e y f e e l a n e e d f o r i t . I t i s i m p o r t a n t t h a t s t a k e h o l d e r c o n t r o l
i s e m p h a s i z e d t h r o u g h o u t t h e p r o c e s s . P a r t i c i p a n t s s h o u l d n o t
a g r e e o n s o m e t h i n g j u s t f o r t h e s a k e o f a g r e e m e n t . I f t h e r e a r e y e t
u n m e t n e e d s , t h e s e s h o u l d b e b r o u g h t u p . S o m e t i m e s , a f e w
c h a n g e s i n a p o t e n t i a l s o l u t i o n c a n m a k e t h e d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n
a n a g r e e m e n t t h a t w i l l f a i l o r s u c c e e d .
W h i l e t h e r e a r e h u n d r e d s o f f a c t o r s t h a t c a n a f f e c t t h e s u c c e s s f u l
r e s o l u t i o n o f a c o n f l i c t , t h e p r e - c a u c u s i s o n e o f t h e p i l l a r s o f
c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t . 4 I t i s e s p e c i a l l y u s e f u l w h e n d e a l i n g w i t h
d e e p - s e a t e d i n t e r p e r s o n a l c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t a n d m e d i a t i o n .
A l t h o u g h a n y t a l k i n g b e t w e e n t h e m e d i a t o r a n d o n e o f t h e
s t a k e h o l d e r s a l o n e c a n b e p e r c e i v e d a s s u s p e c t a n d p o t e n t i a l l y
i n f l u e n c e t h e n e u t r a l i t y o f t h e m e d i a t o r , s u c h f e a r s a s s u m e a
m e d i a t o r - d i r e c t i v e a p p r o a c h w h e r e t h e t h i r d p a r t y w i e l d s m u c h
p o w e r a n d o f t e n a c t s a s a q u a s i - a r b i t r a t o r . W h e n t h e m e d i a t i o n
p r o c e s s i s u n d e r s t o o d - - f r o m t h e b e g i n n i n g - - a s o n e w h e r e e a c h o f
t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s r e t a i n s c o n t r o l o v e r t h e o u t c o m e , l e s s i m p o r t a n c e
i s g i v e n t o m e d i a t o r n e u t r a l i t y .
T h e p r e - c a u c u s p r o v i d e s e a c h s t a k e h o l d e r a n o p p o r t u n i t y t o b e
h e a r d a n d u n d e r s t o o d . O n e o f t h e r e a s o n s w h y c o n f l i c t s i t u a t i o n s
a r e s o c h a l l e n g i n g , i s t h e n a t u r a l t e n d e n c y o f s t a k e h o l d e r s t o e a c h
w a n t t o e x p r e s s t h e i r r e s p e c t i v e p e r s p e c t i v e s f i r s t w h i c h t o s o m e
d e g r e e t a k e s p l a c e i n t h e p r e - c a u c u s . T h e m o r e d e e p - s e a t e d a n d
e m o t i o n a l t h e c o n f l i c t , t h e g r e a t e r t h i s n e e d .
A t a d a i r y o p e r a t i o n , I h a d j u s t b e e n i n t r o d u c e d t o o n e o f t h e
s t a k e h o l d e r s b y t h e f a r m o w n e r . A s s o o n a s t h e f a r m e r l e f t u s
a l o n e t o b e g i n o u r p r e - c a u c u s , t h e s t a k e h o l d e r b r o k e i n t o t e a r s . A
s i m i l a r s i t u a t i o n t o o k p l a c e a t a r o w c r o p f a r m e n t e r p r i s e w h e r e
o n e o f t h e f a r m m a n a g e r s b e g a n t o c r y , o s t e n s i b l y b e c a u s e o f
o t h e r i s s u e s p r e s s i n g h e a v i l y u p o n h i m . H a d t h e s e m e n c o m e
i m m e d i a t e l y i n t o a j o i n t m e e t i n g w i t h t h e i r r e s p e c t i v e c o n t e n d e r s ,
t h e i r f e e l i n g s o f v u l n e r a b i l i t y m i g h t j u s t a s e a s i l y h a v e t u r n e d i n t o
a n g e r a n d d e f e n s i v e n e s s .
O n e m a n a g e r t o l d m e t h a t t h e p r e - c a u c u s w o u l d b e v e r y s h o r t w i t h
a m i l k e r w h o w a s n o t a m a n o f m a n y w o r d s . T h e m i l k e r s p o k e f o r
a l m o s t t w o h o u r s . B y t h e t i m e w e f i n i s h e d , h e f e l t u n d e r s t o o d a n d
h a d g a i n e d c o n f i d e n c e , a n d b y t h e t i m e w e w e r e i n t o t h e m i d d l e o f
t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n w i t h t h e o t h e r s t a k e h o l d e r , t h i s s a m e e m p l o y e e
w a s e v e n l a u g h i n g w h e n i t w a s a p p r o p r i a t e . I h a v e f o u n d t h a t
t h e s e " s i l e n t t y p e s " w i l l o f t e n o p e n u p d u r i n g a p r e - c a u c u s .
W h e n a s t a k e h o l d e r f e e l s u n d e r s t o o d , a n e n o r m o u s e m o t i o n a l
b u r d e n i s l i f t e d ; s t r e s s a n d d e f e n s i v e n e s s a r e r e d u c e d . T h i s m a k e s
p e o p l e m o r e c o n f i d e n t a n d r e c e p t i v e t o l i s t e n t o t h e o t h e r p a r t y .
S e p a r a t i n g t h e p e o p l e f r o m t h e c o n f l i c t . W i n s l a d e a n d M o n k
i n N a r r a t i v e M e d i a t i o n a r g u e t h a t w h i l e p e o p l e a r e t h e o r e t i c a l l y
f r e e i n t e r m s o f w h a t t h e y s a y i n a c o n v e r s a t i o n , m o s t o f t e n
s t a k e h o l d e r s f e e l t h e i r r e s p o n s e s a r e i n f l u e n c e d b y t h e r e m a r k s o f
t h e o t h e r . T h e y o f t e n s e e t h e m s e l v e s e n t r a p p e d w i t h i n t h e c o n f l i c t
c y c l e .
W i n s l a d e a n d M o n k a s k i n d i v i d u a l s h o w t h e y m i g h t h a v e f e l t f o r c e d
b y t h e c o n f l i c t t o d o o r s a y t h i n g s t h a t t h e y w i s h t h e y h a d n o t . O r ,
h o w t h e c o n f l i c t h a s a f f e c t e d t h e m n e g a t i v e l y i n o t h e r w a y s . B y
p l a c i n g t h e b l a m e o n t h e c o n f l i c t i t s e l f , t h e m e d i a t o r a l l o w s t h e
s t a k e h o l d e r s t o s a v e f a c e a n d s l o w l y d i s t a n c e t h e m s e l v e s f r o m t h e
c o n f l i c t - s a t u r a t e d s t o r y . S u c h a s i t u a t i o n c a n h e l p s t a k e h o l d e r s
d e t a c h t h e m s e l v e s f r o m t h e c o n f l i c t l o n g e n o u g h t o s e e t h a t e a c h
h a s a c h o i c e a s t o w h e t h e r h e w a n t s t o c o n t i n u e f e e d i n g t h e
c o n f l i c t . T h e a u t h o r s f u r t h e r s u g g e s t t h a t i f t h e m e d i a t o r l i s t e n s
w i t h a n e t h i c o f c u r i o s i t y , u n e x p e c t e d b e n e f i t s a r e l i k e l y t o a r i s e .
I n s t e a d o f m e r e l y l i s t e n i n g t o c o n f i r m h u n c h e s a n d r e c o n c i l e f a c t s ,
t h e t h i r d p a r t y r e a l i z e s t h a t s t a k e h o l d e r s o f t e n b r i n g t o m e d i a t i o n
a n o l i v e b r a n c h a l o n g w i t h t h e i r a n g e r a n d d e s p a i r . T h u s ,
s t a k e h o l d e r s o f t e n h o l d t h e v e r y k e y s t o t h e r e c o n s t r u c t i o n o f
b r o k e n r e l a t i o n s h i p s a n d t o t h e s o l v i n g o f c h a l l e n g e s . B u t t h e
m e d i a t o r h a s t o h a v e e n o u g h c o n f i d e n c e i n p e o p l e a n d i n t h e
p r o c e s s t o a l l o w t h e s e i s s u e s t o s u r f a c e a n d t o b e o n t h e l o o k o u t
f o r t h e m s o t h e y d o n o t g o u n n o t i c e d . 5
D u r i n g t h e p r e - c a u c u s , t h e m e d i a t o r n o t e s a s m a n y i s s u e s a s
p o s s i b l e f r o m e a c h s t a k e h o l d e r ( t h e y o f t e n o v e r l a p c o n s i d e r a b l y )
a n d l a t e r i n t r o d u c e s t h e m i n a s y s t e m a t i c f a s h i o n f o r t h e
s t a k e h o l d e r s t o d i s c u s s i n t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n . T h e m o r e i s s u e s
r a i s e d , t h e g r e a t e r t h e o p p o r t u n i t y f o r d i s c u s s i o n a n d t h e l e s s
l i k e l i h o o d t h a t i m p o r t a n t i s s u e s w i l l b e l e f t o u t .
I n c r e a s i n g a n d e v a l u a t i n g p a r t i c i p a n t i n t e r e s t i n s o l v i n g c h a l l e n g e
t h r o u g h m e d i a t i o n
T h e r e s e e m s t o b e a p a t t e r n i n d e e p - s e a t e d o r g a n i z a t i o n a l
i n t e r p e r s o n a l c o n f l i c t : e a c h s t a k e h o l d e r i s o v e r l y d i s t r a c t e d w i t h
t h e s t r e s s o f t h e c o n f l i c t , h a s d i f f i c u l t y s l e e p i n g a t n i g h t , a n d i s
g e n e r a l l y t h i n k i n g o f q u i t t i n g . S o m e t i m e s i n d i v i d u a l s m a y b e i n
d e n i a l a b o u t t h e n e g a t i v e e f f e c t t h a t c o n t e n t i o n h a s i n t h e i r l i v e s .
O n e m a n a g e r c l a i m e d t h a t h e j u s t g o t a n g r y a n d e x p l o d e d , b u t t h a t
h i s a n g e r d i d n o t l a s t l o n g . H e e x p l a i n e d t h a t h e d i d n o t h o l d
g r u d g e s , t h a t b y t h e n e x t d a y h e h a d p u t a s i d e a n y b a d f e e l i n g s
f o r t h e o t h e r p e r s o n . D u r i n g a m e d i a t i o n s e s s i o n t h i s s a m e m a n g e r
a d m i t t e d t h a t a r e c e n t c o n f r o n t a t i o n w i t h t h e o t h e r s t a k e h o l d e r h a d
m a d e h i m s o a n g r y i t l e f t h i m s i c k f o r a c o u p l e o f d a y s . P a r t o f t h e
r o l e o f t h e m e d i a t o r i n m e e t i n g i n d i v i d u a l l y w i t h e a c h s t a k e h o l d e r
i s t o h e l p i n d i v i d u a l s v i s u a l i z e a l i f e w i t h o u t t h a t s t r e s s .
I n t h e p r o c e s s o f m e e t i n g w i t h t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s , t h e m e d i a t o r c a n
m a k e a m o r e i n f o r m e d d e t e r m i n a t i o n a s t o w h e t h e r t o p r o c e e d w i t h
m e d i a t i o n o r r e c o m m e n d a r b i t r a t i o n o r a n o t h e r a p p r o a c h . A s
e f f e c t i v e a s m e d i a t i o n c a n b e , u n d e r c e r t a i n c i r c u m s t a n c e s m o r e
h a r m t h a n g o o d c a n r e s u l t f r o m b r i n g i n g p a r t i e s t o g e t h e r . T h e
p u r p o s e o f m e d i a t i o n i s n o t t o s i m p l y p r o v i d e a s a f e p l a c e f o r
s t a k e h o l d e r s t o e x c h a n g e i n s u l t s !
T r a n s f o r m a t i v e o p p o r t u n i t i e s . I n T h e P r o m i s e o f M e d i a t i o n , B u s h
a n d F o l g e r s u g g e s t t h a t m e d i a t o r s w a t c h f o r a n d r e c o g n i z e
t r a n s f o r m a t i v e o p p o r t u n i t i e s i n t e r m s o f r e c o g n i t i o n t h a t c a n b e
o f f e r e d b e t w e e n p a r t i c i p a n t s . S u c h r e c o g n i t i o n m a y i n v o l v e
c o m p l i m e n t s o r s h o w i n g u n d e r s t a n d i n g , e m p a t h y , o r o t h e r f o r m s o f
m u t u a l v a l i d a t i o n . 6 A f r u i t g r o w e r , a l m o s t a s a n a s i d e , h a d
s o m e t h i n g p o s i t i v e t o s a y a b o u t t h e o t h e r p a r t y , " O n e t h i n g I r e a l l y
v a l u e a b o u t t h e f a r m m a n a g e r i s t h a t h e s h o w s p r i d e i n h i s w o r k - -
s o m e t h i n g I r e a l l y a d m i r e d i n m y f a t h e r . " T h e g r o w e r r e a c t e d
n e g a t i v e l y t o t h e i d e a o f s h a r i n g t h i s w i t h t h e f a r m m a n a g e r , y e t
d e c i d e d t o d o s o h i s o w n d u r i n g t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n .
L o o k i n g f o r t h e p o s i t i v e . W h i l e a n u m b e r o f i s s u e s c a n a f f e c t t h e
l i k e l y s u c c e s s o f a j o i n t m e d i a t i o n s e s s i o n , p e r h a p s n o n e i s a s
t e l l i n g a s a s k i n g e a c h s t a k e h o l d e r w h a t t h e y v a l u e i n t h e o t h e r
c o n t e n d e r . T h i s q u e s t i o n s h o u l d b e a s k e d a f t e r t h e p a r t i c i p a n t h a s
h a d a c h a n c e t o v e n t , a n d t h e m e d i a t o r h a s s h o w n u n d e r s t a n d i n g
f o r t h e c h a l l e n g e s f r o m t h e s t a k e h o l d e r ' s p e r s p e c t i v e .
T h e r e i s a h u m a n t e n d e n c y n o t t o f i n d a n y t h i n g o f v a l u e i n a
p e r s o n w i t h w h o m t h e r e h a s b e e n d e e p - s e a t e d c o n t e n t i o n . A f t e r a
p e r s o n f e e l s u n d e r s t o o d b y t h e m e d i a t o r , t h e r e i s a g r e a t e r
l i k e l i h o o d t h a t t h e s t a k e h o l d e r w i l l s e e a l i t t l e l i g h t o f g o o d i n h i s
c o n t e n d e r .
W i t h o u t t h i s t i n y l i g h t o f h o p e , w i t h o u t t h i s l i t t l e o l i v e b r a n c h ,
t h e r e i s n o p o i n t i n p r o c e e d i n g . I f t h e r e i s n o t h i n g o f s i g n i f i c a n c e
t h a t o n e p e r s o n c a n v a l u e a b o u t t h e o t h e r , m o r e h a r m t h a n g o o d
c a n c o m e o u t o f t h e m e d i a t i o n . A n d i t i s n o t e n o u g h t o s a y t h a t t h e
o t h e r p e r s o n " i s a l w a y s o n t i m e , " " d r i v e s a n i c e p i c k u p , " " i s
a t t r a c t i v e , " o r " d o e s n o t s m e l l . "
S o m e t i m e s o n e o f t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s w i l l b e m o r e n o b l e t h a n t h e
o t h e r , a l i t t l e m o r e p r o n e t o s e e g o o d i n t h e o t h e r . O n o n e
o c c a s i o n , I h a d a l r e a d y m e t w i t h s u c h a n i n d i v i d u a l i n a p r e -
c a u c u s a n d a s k e d t h e s e c o n d s t a k e h o l d e r , d u r i n g h i s p r e - c a u c u s ,
f o r t h e p o s i t i v e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s o f t h e f i r s t . W h e n t h e a n s w e r w a s
“ n o n e , ” I s h a r e d t h e p o s i t i v e t h i n g s t h a t w e r e s a i d a b o u t h i m b y
t h e f i r s t e m p l o y e e a n d a s k e d a g a i n . B e c a u s e s t a k e h o l d e r s w a n t t o
s e e m r e a s o n a b l e , e s p e c i a l l y a f t e r h e a r i n g s o m e t h i n g p o s i t i v e
a b o u t t h e m s e l v e s , I w a s s u r p r i s e d b y a s e c o n d r e f u s a l b y t h e m o r e
r e t i c e n t s t a k e h o l d e r t o f i n d a n y t h i n g o f v a l u e a b o u t t h e o t h e r .
“ W e l l , i f t h e r e i s n o t h i n g p o s i t i v e y o u c a n s a y a b o u t t h e o t h e r
e m p l o y e e , t h e r e i s n o p u r p o s e i n a t t e m p t i n g a c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t
s e s s i o n t o g e t h e r , ” I e x p l a i n e d . I s u g g e s t e d a s h o r t b r e a k . W h e n w e
r e t u r n e d , t h e t a c i t u r n s t a k e h o l d e r h a d p r e p a r e d a l o n g l i s t o f
p o s i t i v e a t t r i b u t e s a b o u t t h e o t h e r e m p l o y e e . I h a v e s i n c e r e a l i z e d ,
t h a t i f a c o n t e n d e r i s n o t r e a d y t o s a y s o m e t h i n g p o s i t i v e a b o u t
a n o t h e r , a n a d d i t i o n a l p r e - c a u c u s m a y b e n e e d e d .
R e p a i r i n g p a s t i n j u r i e s . O c c a s i o n a l l y , i t h e l p s t o r o l e p l a y t o
i d e n t i f y p o t e n t i a l p i t f a l l s a h e a d o f t i m e . F o r i n s t a n c e , a t o n e f a r m
o p e r a t i o n , a m a n a g e r ' s a n g r y o u t b u r s t s w e r e w e l l k n o w n . M a r t i n ,
t h e m a n a g e r , h a d m i n i m i z e d t h e s e r i o u s n e s s o f h i s p r o b l e m . A c o -
m e d i a t o r r o l e - p l a y e d t h e o t h e r p a r t y i n t h e c o n t e n t i o n . " M a r t i n , "
s h e b e g a n . " W h e n y o u g e t a n g r y a t m e , s h o u t a t m e a n d u s e
p r o f a n i t y , I f e e l v e r y b a d l y . "
" W e l l , I a m s o s o r r y I h a v e u s e d b a d l a n g u a g e w i t h y o u a n d b e e n
a n g r y a t y o u , " M a r t i n b e g a n n i c e l y . " B u t . . . . " A n d t h e n M a r t i n
b e g a n t o e x c u s e h i m s e l f a n d t o p l a c e c o n d i t i o n s o n c o n t r o l l i n g h i s
a n g e r . A t t h i s m o m e n t I h a d t o i n t e r r u p t . A n a p o l o g y w i t h
a c o m m a o r a b u t i s n o t a t r u e a p o l o g y , b u t m e r e l y a s t a t e m e n t o f
j u s t i f i c a t i o n , I e x p l a i n e d . I n t o t a l f r u s t r a t i o n M a r t i n t u r n e d t o m e
a n d s a i d , " L o o k , e v e r y o n e h a s t h e i r s t y l e . S o m e p e o p l e d e a l w i t h
d i s a g r e e m e n t t h i s w a y o r t h a t . I a m a n e x p e r t i n i n t i m i d a t i o n . I f I
c a n ' t u s e i n t i m i d a t i o n , w h a t c a n I d o s o I d o n ' t g e t r u n o v e r ? A m I
s u p p o s e d t o j u s t s i t h e r e a n d t e l l h i m h o w n i c e h e i s a n d n o t b r i n g
u p a n y o f t h e a r e a s o f d i s a g r e e m e n t ? "
W h e n m e d i a t o r s h a v e d o n e t h e i r h o m e w o r k d u r i n g t h e p r e - c a u c u s ,
t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n c a n b e v e r y p o s i t i v e . T h i s c a s e i n v o l v i n g M a r t i n
w a s o n e o f t h e m o s t d i f f i c u l t I h a d e v e r d e a l t w i t h , y e t o n c e t h e
j o i n t s e s s i o n b e g a n , b o t h m a n a g e r s d i d m o s t o f t h e t a l k i n g . T h e y
w e r e e x t r e m e l y c o r d i a l , a t t e n t i v e , a n d a m i c a b l e , s h o w i n g
u n d e r s t a n d i n g f o r e a c h o t h e r . A l t h o u g h t h e p r o b l e m s w e r e n o t
s o l v e d f r o m o n e d a y t o t h e n e x t , a y e a r l a t e r t h e r e h a d b e e n m u c h
p o s i t i v e p r o g r e s s .
S e t t i n g g r o u n d r u l e s f o r i m p r o v e d c o m m u n i c a t i o n
I n d i v i d u a l s a t t e m p t t o c u l t i v a t e a n i d e n t i t y o r p r o j e c t i o n o f w h o
t h e y a r e . F o r i n s t a n c e , a p e r s o n m a y s e e h e r s e l f a s a n
i n t e l l e c t u a l , a n o t h e r m a y s e e h i m s e l f a s a n o u t d o o r s p e r s o n , a
c o w b o y , o r a n a r t i s t . S u c h i d e n t i t y l a b e l s a r e j u s t a s m a l l p a r t o f a
m u c h d e e p e r a n d c o m p l e x s e t o f t r a i t s t h a t a n y i n d i v i d u a l w o u l d
v a l u e .
A n i m p o r t a n t p a r t o f m i n d f u l i n t e r p e r s o n a l c o m m u n i c a t i o n i s t h e
m u t u a l v a l i d a t i o n o f s u c h i d e n t i t i e s , t h r o u g h a p r o c e s s o f i d e n t i t y
n e g o t i a t i o n . P e o p l e t e n d t o b u i l d b o n d s w i t h t h o s e w h o s e e m
s u p p o r t i v e o f t h e i d e n t i t y t h e y a t t e m p t t o p r o j e c t . 7 S u c h m u t u a l
v a l i d a t i o n i s o n e o f t h e k e y s t o e f f e c t i v e i n t e r p e r s o n a l r e l a t i o n s .
L a c k o f v a l i d a t i o n n o r m a l l y p l a y s a v i t a l r o l e i n i n t e r p e r s o n a l
c o n f l i c t , a s w e l l . S o m e o f t h e m o s t h u r t f u l t h i n g s a n o t h e r
i n d i v i d u a l c a n s a y t o u s , a r e a n a t t a c k o n o u r s e l f i m a g e o r v a l u e d
i d e n t i t y .
P e o p l e d o n o t j u s t p r o j e c t i d e n t i t i e s o f w h o t h e y a r e , b u t a l s o t h e
p e r s o n a l q u a l i t i e s o f w h o t h e y w i s h t o b e c o m e . W h e n a p e r s o n ' s
w e a k n e s s e s a r e e x p o s e d , h e m a y r e a s o n t h a t i t i s n o t w o r t h t r y i n g
t o p r e t e n d a n y m o r e . B e c a u s e t h o s e w h o a r e c l o s e s t t o u s a r e m o r e
l i k e l y t o h a v e s e e n o u r w e a k n e s s e s , w e m a y f i r s t
s t o p p r e t e n d i n g w i t h f a m i l y , c l o s e f r i e n d s , a n d p e o p l e a t w o r k .
T h i s a t t i t u d e a l s o p l a y s a n i m p o r t a n t p a r t i n i n t e r p e r s o n a l c o n f l i c t .
O n e o f t h e i m p o r t a n t r o l e s o f a m e d i a t o r i s t o h e l p s t a k e h o l d e r s
w h o h a v e c r o s s e d t h e l i n e a n d s t o p p e d p r e t e n d i n g , t o r e - c r o s s
b a c k , a n d t h u s g e t a s e c o n d c h a n c e a t a r e l a t i o n s h i p . I f w e h a v e
d e c i d e d t o t h u s c h a n g e o u r b e h a v i o r , i t h e l p s t o c l e a r l y s t a t e o u r
i n t e n t i o n s a h e a d o f t i m e , s o t h a t o u r n e w a n d c o r r e c t e d b e h a v i o r i s
n o t m i s u n d e r s t o o d .
C o a c h i n g a n d m o d e l i n g e f f e c t i v e i n t e r a c t i o n s t y l e s i s a n o n g o i n g
t a s k f o r t h e m e d i a t o r . T h e o b j e c t i v e i s f o r s t a k e h o l d e r s t o i n c r e a s e
t h e i r u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f e f f e c t i v e i n t e r p e r s o n a l r e l a t i o n s . B e f o r e
c o n f l i c t i n g p a r t i e s m e e t , i t h e l p s t o s e t g r o u n d r u l e s t h a t w i l l h e l p
p a r t i e s a v o i d h u r t f u l c o m m e n t s , a n d e v e n i n c r e a s e p o s i t i v e
v a l i d a t i n g o n e s . G r o u n d r u l e s w i l l h e l p t h e c o n f l i c t f r o m e s c a l a t i n g
a n d s a v e t i m e o n c e m e d i a t i o n i s u n d e r w a y . I t i s n o t t h e r o l e o f t h e
m e d i a t o r t o s i m p l y a l l o w t h e c o n t e n d e r s t o e x c h a n g e c y n i c a l
r e m a r k s , i n s u l t s , n a m e c a l l i n g , a n d t h r e a t s i n a p s y c h o l o g i c a l l y
s a f e r e n v i r o n m e n t . N o r s h o u l d t h e m e d i a t o r a l l o w c o n t e n d e r s t o
d r a g h e r i n t o t h e c o n t r o v e r s y . I n s t e a d , t h e m e d i a t o r m a y h a v e t o
r e m i n d e m p l o y e e s t o d i r e c t t h e i r c o m m e n t s t o ( a n d k e e p v i s u a l
c o n t a c t w i t h ) t h e o t h e r p e r s o n i n v o l v e d i n t h e d i s a g r e e m e n t .
O v e r l y v a g u e o r b r o a d s t a t e m e n t s s u c h a s , " Y o u a r e
i n c o n s i d e r a t e , " o r , " Y o u a r e o v e r b e a r i n g , " d o l i t t l e t o f a c i l i t a t e
m u t u a l u n d e r s t a n d i n g . S p e c i f i c i s s u e s , o r e v e n t s , a n d w h a t
m o t i v a t e d e a c h t o a c t i n c e r t a i n w a y s , m a y b e m o r e u s e f u l . I n t h e
p r e - c a u c u s , a s k t h e s t a k e h o l d e r u s i n g s u c h s w e e p i n g s t a t e m e n t s
f o r e x a m p l e s o f t i m e s w h e n t h e o t h e r i n d i v i d u a l a c t e d i n
i n c o n s i d e r a t e , o v e r b e a r i n g , u n t r u s t w o r t h y o r s e l f i s h w a y s . T h e s e
b e h a v i o r s c a n l a t e r b e d i s c u s s e d i n t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n .
N a m e - c a l l i n g c a n h a v e a v e r y n e g a t i v e e f f e c t . F o r i n s t a n c e , a
M e x i c a n d a i r y e m p l o y e e c a l l e d a n o t h e r e m p l o y e e a r a c i s t . T h a t i s
a p r e t t y b i g w o r d , w i t h v e r y s t r o n g c o n n o t a t i o n s . T h e o t h e r
s t a k e h o l d e r , a P o r t u g u e s e m i l k e r , w a s v e r y h u r t b y t h e u s e o f s u c h
a w o r d . T h e m e d i a t o r s t o p p e d t h e c o n v e r s a t i o n t o m a k e s u r e a l l
w e r e d e f i n i n g t h e w o r d i n t h e s a m e w a y . " A r e y o u s a y i n g t h a t t h i s
m i l k e r t r e a t s y o u d i f f e r e n t b e c a u s e y o u a r e M e x i c a n a n d h e i s
P o r t u g u e s e ? " A f t e r t h e t e r m w a s w e l l e x p l a i n e d a n d a f e w m o r e
q u e s t i o n s a s k e d , t h e M e x i c a n m i l k e r e n d e d u p a p o l o g i z i n g , a n d t h e
P o r t u g u e s e e m p l o y e e h a d t h e o p p o r t u n i t y t o t e l l a s t o r y t h a t
i l l u s t r a t e d h e w a s n o t r a c i s t . I t i s n o t t h e r o l e o f t h e m e d i a t o r t o
r e j e c t s u c h a s a c c u s a t i o n w i t h o u t a l l o w i n g s t a k e h o l d e r s t o s p e a k
w h a t i s i n t h e i r m i n d .
B e s i d e n a m e - c a l l i n g , t h e u s e o f o t h e r l a b e l s c a n i n c r e a s e
c o n t e n t i o n . C a l l i n g s o m e o n e b y a l a b e l , e v e n w h e n t h e p e r s o n
i d e n t i f i e s w i t h s u c h ( e . g . , a p e r s o n ' s n a t i o n a l i t y ) , c a n b e o f f e n s i v e
d e p e n d i n g o n t h e t o n e a n d c o n t e x t . A m o r e s u b t l e u s e o f l a b e l i n g ,
o n e t h a t c a n h a v e t h e s a m e n e g a t i v e e f f e c t , i s d e s c r i b i n g o u r o w n
p e r s p e c t i v e a s b e l o n g i n g t o a d e s i r a b l e l a b e l ( e . g . , a p a r t i c u l a r l y
c h e r i s h e d p h i l o s o p h y , p r i n c i p l e o r b e l i e f ) , w h i l e a s s i g n i n g t h a t o f
a n o t h e r t o a n u n d e s i r a b l e o n e .
S t a k e h o l d e r s a l s o l o o k f o r w a y s t o e n l i s t e v e n t h e o r e t i c a l o t h e r s
i n t o s u p p o r t i n g t h e i r v i e w s . T h e y m a y a t t e m p t t o i n f l a t e t h e
i m p o r t a n c e o f t h e i r o p i n i o n s w i t h s u c h s t a t e m e n t s a s , " e v e r y o n e
e l s e a g r e e s w i t h m e w h e n I s a y t h a t . . . . " O r , a t t r i b u t e a h i g h e r
s o u r c e o f a u t h o r i t y t o t h e i r w o r d s : " A c c o r d i n g t o s u c h a n d s u c h ( a n
a u t h o r , o r r e s p e c t e d p e r s o n ) . . . " A s t a k e h o l d e r m a y w i s h t o
d i s c o u n t t h e o p i n i o n o f o t h e r s b y s p e a k i n g o f t h e i r e x p e r i e n c e : " I n
m y t w e n t y y e a r s o f e x p e r i e n c e . . . " O n c e a g a i n , t h e t o n e a n d
c o n t e x t o f t h e c o n v e r s a t i o n m a y m a k e s o m e o f t h e s e s t a t e m e n t s
a p p r o p r i a t e i n o n e c i r c u m s t a n c e a n d n o t i n a n o t h e r . P e o p l e m a y
r e s o r t t o d y s f u n c t i o n a l t a c t i c s w h e n t h e f o r c e o f t h e i r a r g u m e n t
d o e s n o t s t a n d o n i t s o w n m e r i t s .
A l o n g w i t h l a b e l i n g , t h r e a t s - - b o t h d i r e c t a n d v e i l e d - - c a n r e d u c e a
s t a k e h o l d e r ' s n e g o t i a t i n g p o w e r . W h e n t h e s e i n t i m i d a t i o n t a c t i c s
a r e b l u f f s , t h e n t h e l o s s o f n e g o t i a t i o n p o w e r i s f u r t h e r m a g n i f i e d .
T h e m e d i a t o r m a y a l s o c o a c h e m p l o y e e s i n t o o w n i n g u p t o t h e i r
f e e l i n g s b y u s i n g " I " s t a t e m e n t s . 8 " I f e e l u p s e t w h e n y o u c h a n g e
m y r a d i o s t a t i o n w h i l e I a m m i l k i n g , " i s p r e f e r a b l e t o " Y o u m a k e
m e a n g r y w h e n . . . . "
O n l y o n e p e r s o n s h o u l d s p e a k a t a t i m e , w h i l e t h e o t h e r m a k e s
e v e r y p o s s i b l e e f f o r t t o u n d e r s t a n d w h a t i s b e i n g s a i d . O n e
d e f e n s i v e t a c t i c i s t o c h a n g e t h e t o p i c . W h i l e s o m e t i m e s t w o t o p i c s
a r e s o c l o s e l y r e l a t e d t h a t t h e y c a n n o t b e s e p a r a t e d , g e n e r a l l y
n e w t o p i c s c a n b e p l a c e d o n a " l i s t o f o t h e r m a t t e r s " t o b e b r o u g h t
u p l a t e r .
W o r k e r s i n v o l v e d i n h i g h l y c h a r g e d c o n f l i c t s i t u a t i o n s f r e q u e n t l y
t r y t o r i d i c u l e t h e i r c o n t e n d e r s b y d i s t o r t i n g o r e x a g g e r a t i n g w h a t
h a s b e e n s a i d . I c a l l t h i s d i s t o r t e d m i r r o r i n g . F o r i n s t a n c e , a n
e m p l o y e e m a y i n a c c u r a t e l y m i r r o r a c o m m e n t , s u c h a s : " S o y o u
a r e t e l l i n g m e t h a t y o u n e v e r w a n t m e t o . . . , " o r , " I g e t i t , y o u t h i n k
y o u a r e t h e o n l y o n e w h o . . . , " " Y o u u s e d t o b e [ s o m e t h i n g p o s i t i v e ]
b u t n o w [ n e g a t i v e s t a t e m e n t ] , " " I t s e e m s t h a t y o u a r e a l w a y s . . .
t h e s e d a y s . "
P a r t i c i p a n t s m a y s o m e t i m e s s e e k s h e l t e r f r o m a t r u e g i v e - a n d - t a k e
w i t h s u c h s t a t e m e n t s a s , " T h a t ' s j u s t t h e w a y I a m , " 9 o r , " C a n ' t y o u
t a k e a j o k e ? " W h i l e a m e d i a t o r c a n n o t f o r c e s o m e o n e o u t o f h i s
s h e l l , h e m a y h e l p p a r t i c i p a n t s u n d e r s t a n d t h e d e t r a c t i n g e f f e c t s
t h e s e s t a t e m e n t s m a y h a v e . T h e e a r l i e r t h e m e d i a t o r d i s a l l o w s
d i s t o r t i o n s o r m a n i p u l a t i v e t a c t i c s , t h e s o o n e r e m p l o y e e s w i l l
r e a l i z e t h a t t h i s i s n o t a v e r b a l b a t t l e .
A m e d i a t o r m a y a l s o n e e d t o c o a c h e m p l o y e e s o n h o w t o f o r m u l a t e
q u e s t i o n s a n d c o m m e n t s . P a r t i c i p a n t s n e e d t o t a l k w i t h o u t p u t t i n g
e a c h o t h e r o n t h e d e f e n s i v e o r c o m i n g a c r o s s a s a c c u s a t o r y .
E s p e c i a l l y w h e n u n d e r t h e s t r e s s o f a c o n f l i c t , p e o p l e w i l l b e q u i t e
s e n s i t i v e t o i n t e n d e d a n d n o n - i n t e n d e d s t a t e m e n t s o f d o u b l e
m e a n i n g . A c r i t i c a l r o l e f o r t h e m e d i a t o r m a y b e t o a s k f o r
c l a r i f i c a t i o n o r c o a c h s t a k e h o l d e r s i n p r o p e r l y r e f l e c t i n g
s t a t e m e n t s .
C o a c h i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s t h r o u g h t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n .
T h e t i m e h a s c o m e t o b r i n g b o t h s t a k e h o l d e r s t o g e t h e r i n t o a j o i n t
s e s s i o n . A m e c h a n i c a l a s p e c t t o m e d i a t i o n t h a t i s e x t r e m e l y
p o w e r f u l i s t h e s e a t i n g a r r a n g e m e n t . H a v e t h e t w o p a r t i e s s i t
f a c i n g e a c h o t h e r s u c h t h a t t h e y a r e i n a p o s i t i o n t o h a v e g o o d e y e
c o n t a c t , y e t m a k i n g s u r e t h e r e i s e n o u g h s p a c e b e t w e e n t h e m s o
t h e i r p e r s o n a l s p a c e i s n o t v i o l a t e d . T h i s a r r a n g e m e n t u n d e r s c o r e s
t h e m e s s a g e t h a t t h e y a r e t h e r e t o t a l k t o e a c h o t h e r . B e c a u s e
p e o p l e w h o a r e i n c o n f l i c t o f t e n d i s c o u n t t h e o t h e r p e r s o n , h a v i n g
t o e x c h a n g e e y e c o n t a c t c a n b e p o w e r f u l m e d i c i n e t o w a r d
r e c o n c i l i a t i o n . A t a b l e m a y b e a p p r o p r i a t e i n s o m e c i r c u m s t a n c e s .
T h e m e d i a t o r s i t s f a r e n o u g h a w a y t h a t s t a k e h o l d e r s w o u l d h a v e t o
t u r n t h e i r h e a d s i f t h e y w i s h e d t o m a k e e y e c o n t a c t w i t h h i m . I t i s
n o t e a s y f o r t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s t o c h e c k i f t h e y h a v e " s c o r e d a
p o i n t , " o r t o e n l i s t t h e m e d i a t o r t o t h e i r s i d e . I f t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s
m a k e s u c h a n a t t e m p t , t h e m e d i a t o r r e m i n d s t h e m t h a t t h e p e r s o n
t h e y n e e d t o c o n v i n c e i s t h e o t h e r p a r t y .
T h e s e a t i n g a r r a n g e m e n t d e s c r i b e d a b o v e i s s u c h a p o w e r f u l t o o l ,
t h a t I h a v e s e e n p e o p l e a p o l o g i z e t o e a c h o t h e r , b e m o r e
c o n s i d e r a t e , c a l l e a c h o t h e r b y n a m e , a n d u s e m a n y p o s i t i v e
b e h a v i o r s e v e n w h e n t h e c o m p l e t e m e d i a t i o n a p p r o a c h o u t l i n e d i n
t h i s c h a p t e r w a s n o t u s e d . T h e s e a t i n g a r r a n g e m e n t i s a s e c o n d
m e d i a t i o n p i l l a r . B o t h o f t h e s e p i l l a r s a r e i n t e g r a l t o t h e P a r t y -
D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t a p p r o a c h . ( Y o u m a y w i s h
t o d o w n l o a d t h e f u l l - l e n g t h b o o k , P a r t y - D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n , 2 n d
E d i t i o n , 2 0 0 9 , f r o m t h e l i n k a b o v e . I t i s a p u b l i c s e r v i c e o f t h e
U n i v e r s i t y o f C a l i f o r n i a ) .
F i g u r e 1 3 - 1 . S e a t i n g a r r a n g e m e n t f o r p a r t i c i p a n t s ( r e d ) a n d
m e d i a t o r ( b l u e ) . T a b l e ( y e l l o w ) i s o p t i o n a l .
T h e m e d i a t o r c a n a l s o e n c o u r a g e p a r t i c i p a n t s t o c a l l e a c h o t h e r b y
n a m e . T h i s c a n b e a d i f f i c u l t t h i n g a t f i r s t . P e o p l e w h o h a v e b e e n
c o n t e n d i n g t e n d t o d i s c o u n t t h e o t h e r p e r s o n a n d i n s t e a d t h e
p e r s o n " h e , " " s h e , " " t h e b o s s , " o r s o m e t h i n g o t h e r t h a n t h e
p e r s o n ' s n a m e . A d d r e s s i n g s o m e o n e b y n a m e a c k n o w l e d g e s a n d
v a l i d a t e s t h e o t h e r p e r s o n ' s h u m a n n e s s .
S u c c e s s f u l l y d e a l i n g w i t h a n y i s s u e u n d e r c o n t e n t i o n ( e . g . , t h e
o f f e r i n g a n d a c c e p t i n g o f a n a p o l o g y , o r h a v i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s a g r e e
o n h o w t h e y w i l l d e a l w i t h a f u t u r e c h a l l e n g e ) c a n b e v e r y
e n e r g i z i n g a n d g i v e t h e p a r t i c i p a n t s t h e c o n f i d e n c e t h e y n e e d t o
f a c e t h e n e x t d i f f i c u l t y t h a t c o m e s u p .
I t i s g o o d t o t a l k a b o u t t h e p a s t . A d i s c u s s i o n o f p a s t b e h a v i o r s
i s e s s e n t i a l t o a n a l y z e p a t t e r n s o f c o n f l i c t a n d h e l p p a r t i c i p a n t s
f i n d c o n s t r u c t i v e w a y s o f h a n d l i n g f u t u r e d i s a g r e e m e n t s . W i t h o u t
u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h e p a s t , i t i s h a r d t o p r e p a r e f o r t h e f u t u r e . A t
s o m e p o i n t , h o w e v e r , t h e f o c u s o f d i s c u s s i o n t u r n s t o t h a t
o f f u t u r e b e h a v i o r s , r a t h e r t h a n p a s t i n j u r i e s . T h e s o o n e r t h e
p a r t i c i p a n t s c a n f o c u s o n t h e f u t u r e , t h e g r e a t e r t h e c h a n c e s o f
s u c c e s s f u l r e s o l u t i o n . 1 0
O n e o f t h e r o l e s o f t h e m e d i a t o r i s t o e n c o u r a g e p a r t i c i p a n t s t o b e
m o r e s p e c i f i c i n t h e i r a g r e e m e n t s , t o h e l p q u e s t i o n p o t e n t i a l
l a n d m i n e s , a n d t o e n c o u r a g e s t a k e h o l d e r s t o r e c a p i t u l a t e w h a t
s e e m s t o h a v e b e e n a g r e e d u p o n . W h e n d e a l i n g w i t h m o r e d i f f i c u l t
c h a l l e n g e s , p a r t o f t h e r o l e o f t h e m e d i a t o r i s t o k e e p t h e p a r t i e s
f r o m b e c o m i n g d i s c o u r a g e d b y s h o w i n g t h e m h o w f a r t h e y h a v e
p r o g r e s s e d .
S t a k e h o l d e r s c a n b e t a u g h t t o u t i l i z e t h e c o n c e p t s i n t r o d u c e d
e a r l i e r , i n t e r m s o f p a r t i c i p a n t p o s i t i o n s v e r s u s n e e d s . R e c a l l t h e
c a s e o f B e t h a n d C a r l o s a t t h e b e g i n n i n g o f t h e c h a p t e r , w h e r e
e a c h o f t h e i r s t a n c e s a p p e a r e d i n c o m p a t i b l e w i t h t h a t o f t h e o t h e r
( i . e . , w h e t h e r C a r l o s s h o u l d y i e l d t o t h e p r e s c r i b e d o v e r t i m e
r e q u e s t ) .
M e d i a t o r s h e l p d i s s i p a t e c o n t e n t i o u s f e e l i n g s b y t e a c h i n g
s t a k e h o l d e r s h o w t o f i n d c r e a t i v e w a y s t o a c h i e v e t h e s u m 1 1 o f t h e
n e e d s ( t h e i r s a n d t h e o p p o s i n g o n e s ) . B y g o i n g p a s t a n o b v i o u s
s t a n c e a n d l o o k i n g i n t o n e e d s , w e m a y f i n d t h a t ( 1 ) B e t h w a n t e d
t h e t o m a t o h a r v e s t e r r e p a i r s c o m p l e t e d b e f o r e h a r v e s t - - w h i c h i s
s c h e d u l e d t o b e g i n e a r l y n e x t w e e k , w h i l e ( 2 ) C a r l o s w a n t e d t o b e
h o m e t o c e l e b r a t e h i s d a u g h t e r ' s q u i n c e a ñ e r a ( c o m i n g o f a g e
p a r t y ) F r i d a y e v e n i n g .
O n c e t h e m a n a g e r a n d m e c h a n i c u n d e r s t a n d e a c h o t h e r ' s n e e d s ,
t h e y c a n a g r e e o n a s o l u t i o n — p e r h a p s t h e m e c h a n i c c a n w o r k t h e
o v e r t i m e o n W e d n e s d a y a n d T h u r s d a y . T h i s c a s e m a y s e e m s i m p l e
a n d t h e s o l u t i o n o b v i o u s — e x c e p t , p e r h a p s , t o B e t h a n d C a r l o s
b e f o r e t h e y e x p l o r e d e a c h o t h e r ' s n e e d s . T h e a p p r o a c h w o r k s w e l l
f o r m o r e c o m p l e x i s s u e s , t o o .
S e p a r a t i n g p o s i t i o n f r o m n e e d s , i n s u c h a w a y t h a t p a r t i e s a t t e m p t
t o u n d e r s t a n d e a c h o t h e r s n e e d s i s a n o t h e r m e d i a t i o n p i l l a r .
M e d i a t o r s s h o u l d n o t b e i n t o o b i g o f a h u r r y t o m o v e p a r t i c i p a n t s
f r o m t h e i r p o s i t i o n s t a t e m e n t a n d e x p l a n a t i o n o f t h e i r f e a r s a n d
n e e d s , t o p r o b l e m r e s o l u t i o n . I t i s v i t a l t o f i r s t t r u l y u n d e r s t a n d t h e
n a t u r e o f t h e c h a l l e n g e s t h a t s e e m t o d i v i d e i n d i v i d u a l s . A l l o w i n g
s t a k e h o l d e r s t o h o l d a n i n i t i a l p o s i t i o n a l l o w s e a c h t o f e e l
u n d e r s t o o d a n d t o r e t a i n a s e n s e o f c o n t r o l a n d o w n e r s h i p o v e r
t h e p r o c e s s . A g r e a t t o o l i s t o h a v e s t a k e h o l d e r s e x p l a i n , t o t h e
b e s t o f t h e i r a b i l i t y , t h e p o s i t i o n o f t h e o t h e r .
S t a k e h o l d e r s t e n d t o d i s c o u n t e a c h o t h e r b y r e f u s i n g t o e v e n
a c k n o w l e d g e t h a t t h e o t h e r h a s a p o s i t i o n . F o r i n s t a n c e , a c o o k
w a s a s k e d t o r e c o g n i z e t h a t t h e f i e l d f o r e m a n n e e d e d m e a l s t o
a r r i v e o n t i m e t o t h e c r e w s . Y e t t h e c o o k c o u l d n o t f o c u s a w a y
f r o m t h e f a c t t h a t t h e r e w e r e m e a l s b e i n g w a s t e d e a c h d a y .
“ Y o u s e e , i t s h i s f a u l t b e c a u s e … ”
“ W e a r e n o t t a l k i n g a b o u t f a u l t s a t t h i s t i m e , w e j u s t w a n t y o u t o
s t a t e t h e p e r s p e c t i v e o f t h e f i e l d f o r e m a n , ” t h e m e d i a t o r
i n t e r r u p t e d .
“ W e l l , y o u s e e , h e t h i n k s t h a t h e c a n g e t a w a y w i t h … . ”
T h e c o o k h a d t o b e s t o p p e d o v e r a d o z e n t i m e s , b e c a u s e i t w a s s o
d i f f i c u l t f o r h i m t o e v e n s t a t e ( a n d t h u s v a l i d a t e ) t h e o t h e r ’ s
p o s i t i o n . O n c e h e s t o p p e d e v a d i n g t h e p r o c e s s a n d g a v e t h e
p o s i t i o n o f t h e f i e l d f o r e m a n , a n d t h e f i e l d f o r e m a n d i d t h e s a m e
f o r t h e c o o k , t h e y q u i c k l y c a m e t o a s o l u t i o n t h a t b e n e f i t e d
e v e r y o n e a n d s a v e d t h e g r o w e r m o n e y . A m i s s i n g s t e p h e r e , o n e
t h a t m a y h a v e h e l p e d s m o o t h t h e t r a n s i t i o n b e t w e e n a n i n t e r n a l
f o c u s a n d s t a t i n g t h e o t h e r s t a k e h o l d e r ' s p o s i t i o n , w o u l d h a v e
b e e n t o f i r s t e n c o u r a g e t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s t o a s k f a c t f i n d i n g a n d
n o n - j u d g m e n t a l q u e s t i o n s o f e a c h o t h e r . 1 2 A n a g r e e m e n t w a s m a d e
t h a t t h e f i e l d f o r e m a n w o u l d r a d i o t h e c o o k w i t h a n e x a c t m e a l
c o u n t f o r t h e d a y . B e c a u s e t h e c o o k h a d a n e x a c t c o u n t , h e h a d
f e w e r m e a l s t o c o o k a n d t h u s c o u l d p r o d u c e t h e m f a s t e r . A
s t r u c t u r e d w a y t o c l a r i f y p o s i t i o n s a n d n e e d s f o r a t w o - p e r s o n
n e g o t i a t i o n i s o u t l i n e d i n S i d e b a r 1 3 - 2 .
S i d e b a r 1 3 - 2 . P o s i t i o n v s . n e e d s 1 3 i n c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t
Position A Position B
Need A-1 Need A-2
Need B-1 Need B-2 Need B-3
1. Participants divide a paper, chalkboard, or wipe board into four sections (as shown above).
2. Participants seek to understand and record each other’s position (i.e., stance).3. Participants are free to restate, modify, or further clarify their position at any time.
4. Participants now seek to understand and record each other’s needs. Taking the time to ask effective questions of each other (see Chapter 12) is an important part of reaching such understanding.
5. Participants brainstorm ways of fulfilling all the needs (in some cases solutions may not be obvious at once and stakeholders may want to sleep on it). For brainstorming to be effective, possible solutions should not be evaluated at the time, and even outlandish and extreme possible solutions should be entertained. Only later, are these solutions examined for the positive and negative factors that they contribute.
6. Participants should resist solutions where they no longer have to interact with each other. To avoid each other takes little creativity and is seldom the best solution. Instead, participants need to seek creative, synergetic solutions.
7. Tentative co-authored agreements are evaluated and refined in light of potentially difficult obstacles that such solutions may yet need to endure.
8. Agreements—including a possible co-authored new position—are recorded.9. Participants consent to evaluate results at pre-determined time periods.10. Fine tune agreements as needed and work on other challenges together.
S t a k e h o l d e r s s h o u l d n o t c o m e t o t h e t a b l e r e a d y t o e x p o s e o r i m p o s e t h e i r s o l u t i o n . I n
n e g o t i a t i o n i t i s c r i t i c a l f o r s t a k e h o l d e r s t o f i r s t f o c u s o n d e f i n i n g a n d u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h e n a t u r e
o f t h e c h a l l e n g e . I t i s o f t e n w h e n s t a k e h o l d e r s a r e n o t a b l e t o m o v e p a s t t h e i r p o s i t i o n s o r
s t a n c e s t h a t n e g o t i a t i o n s b r e a k d o w n . A l s o , s t a k e h o l d e r s w a n t t o f e e l t h a t t h e y h a v e s o m e
c o n t r o l o v e r t h e d e c i s i o n - m a k i n g p r o c e s s . T h i s i s h a r d t o d o w h e n d e c i s i o n s a r e m a d e b y
o t h e r s b e f o r e t h e p r o b l e m s a r e f u l l y e x p l o r e d ( C h a p t e r 1 7 ) .
E a c h s t a k e h o l d e r n e e d s t o b e v i g i l a n t t h a t a s o l u t i o n w i l l m e e t t h e o t h e r p e r s o n ' s n e e d s , a s
w e l l a s t h e i r o w n . S t a k e h o l d e r s n e e d t o r e m e m b e r , t h a t f o r t h e m o s t p a r t , t h e o n l y g o o d
s o l u t i o n s a r e t h o s e t h a t w i l l w o r k f o r a l l t h e i n d i v i d u a l s i n v o l v e d .
F u r t h e r m o r e , s o m e t i m e s p e o p l e w i l l y i e l d t o a n o t h e r a s a t e s t . T h e s e i n d i v i d u a l s w a n t t o s e e i f
t h e o t h e r s t a k e h o l d e r h a s t h e m i n i m u m a m o u n t o f c a r e f o r a n y o n e o t h e r t h a n h i m s e l f . A s a
t a c t i c , s e t t i n g a t r a p t o s e e i f s o m e o n e w i l l g e t c a u g h t , i s h a r d l y a g o o d i d e a , o f c o u r s e . T h e
m o r e e m o t i o n i n v o l v e d , t h e l e s s l i k e l y t h a t t h e o t h e r s t a k e h o l d e r w i l l s t e p b a c k . A n o t h e r
m a n i p u l a t i v e a p p r o a c h i s f o r a s t a k e h o l d e r t o " g i v e i n " j u s t t o b e a b l e t o h o l d i t a g a i n s t t h e
o t h e r l a t e r o n .
N e g o t i a t i o n w i l l n o t b e s a t i s f a c t o r y w h e n a p e r s o n i s m o r e i n t e n t i n :
p u n i s h i n g a n o t h e r r a t h e r t h a n c o m i n g t o a n a g r e e m e n t o r m o d i f y i n g f u t u r e b e h a v i o r
w i n n i n g r a t h e r t h a n s o l v i n g t h e c h a l l e n g e
S o m e t i m e s n e g o t i a t i o n i s a t t e m p t e d b u t p e o p l e ’ s b a s i c n e e d s a r e i n c o m p a t i b l e . T h i s m a y b e
e s p e c i a l l y s o w h e n n o d i s t i n c t i o n c a n b e m a d e b e t w e e n a p e r s o n ’ s n e e d a n d h e r p o s i t i o n .
W h e n n e g o t i a t i o n h a s f a i l e d — f o r w h a t e v e r r e a s o n s — a c l e a r n e e d f o r r e s o l v i n g t h e d i s p u t e
t h r o u g h a r b i t r a t i o n m a y d e v e l o p . B u s h a n d F o l g e r s u g g e s t , h o w e v e r , t h a t i f a d o o r i s l e f t o p e n
f o r c o n t i n u e d c o n v e r s a t i o n , a n d i f i n d i v i d u a l e m p o w e r m e n t a n d m u t u a l r e c o g n i t i o n h a v e t a k e n
p l a c e , t h e n m e d i a t i o n w a s n o t a f a i l u r e . M u c h m o r e o f a f a i l u r e , t h e y a r g u e , i s f o r a m e d i a t o r t o
b e s o f o c u s e d o n h a v i n g s t a k e h o l d e r s c o m e t o a n a g r e e m e n t t h a t t h e a g r e e m e n t i s f o r c e d ,
r e d u c i n g t h e c h a n c e s t h a t i t w i l l b e l o n g l a s t i n g . 1 4
E q u a l i z i n g p o w e r
P a r t i c i p a n t s m a y b r i n g d i f f e r e n t a m o u n t s o f p o w e r i n t o a s i t u a t i o n . A s l o n g a s b o t h a r e
i n t e r e s t e d i n n e g o t i a t i n g a s o l u t i o n , p o w e r i s e s s e n t i a l l y e q u a l i z e d . T h e e f f e c t i v e m e d i a t o r
h e l p s p a r t i e s l i s t e n a n d c o m m u n i c a t e w i t h e a c h o t h e r . Y o u m a y a l s o n e e d t o d r a w o u t a n
e m p l o y e e w h o i s h a v i n g d i f f i c u l t y e x p r e s s i n g h i m s e l f .
A s t a n c e f r o m e i t h e r p a r t y i n d i c a t i n g a l a c k o f i n t e r e s t ( 1 ) i n t a l k i n g a b o u t t h e p r o b l e m , o r ( 2 )
i n t h e o t h e r p e r s o n ’ s n e e d s , w o u l d i n d i c a t e u n w i l l i n g n e s s t o b e i n v o l v e d i n t h e n e g o t i a t i o n
p r o c e s s . M e d i a t o r s c a n s u g g e s t t h a t t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n t a k e p l a c e i n a l o c a t i o n t h a t i s n e u t r a l
a n d p r i v a t e - - w i t h o u t t e l e p h o n e o r a n y o t h e r s o r t o f i n t e r r u p t i o n s .
H e l p i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s p l a n f o r f u t u r e i n t e r a c t i o n
I t i s e a s i e r f o r e m p l o y e e s t o i m p r o v e c o m m u n i c a t i o n w h e n a i d e d b y a c o m p e t e n t m e d i a t o r . P a r t
o f t h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y o f t h e m e d i a t o r i s t o h e l p e m p l o y e e s a n t i c i p a t e s o m e o f t h e c h a l l e n g e s
t h e y w i l l f a c e i n t h e f u t u r e . O n e d i f f i c u l t y i s t o t a k e t h e t i m e t o l i s t e n a n d c o m m u n i c a t e .
P r i n c i p a l a m o n g t h e n e e d e d s k i l l s , i s f o r s e n s i t i v e l i s t e n i n g . I t i s d i f f i c u l t t o a l w a y s b e o n t h e
a l e r t f o r s u c h s e n s i t i v e l i s t e n i n g a n d i n t e r a c t i o n a s h a s b e e n d i s c u s s e d t h r o u g h o u t t h i s a n d t h e
l a s t c h a p t e r .
I t s o m e t i m e s t a k e s y e a r s f o r e m p l o y e e s t o g e t i n t o a p a t t e r n o f n e g a t i v e i n t e r a c t i o n . I t i s
u n l i k e l y t h a t o n e s e s s i o n w i l l c u r e t h i s n o m a t t e r h o w o u t s t a n d i n g t h e m e d i a t o r o r t h e
p a r t i c i p a n t s i n v o l v e d . O n e o r m o r e f o l l o w - u p s e s s i o n s w i t h t h e m e d i a t o r m a y h e l p p a r t i c i p a n t s
r e f i n e s k i l l s a n d e v a l u a t e p r o g r e s s m a d e .
A r b i t r a t i o n
T h e s u p e r v i s o r a s a n a r b i t e r m a y d o e v e r y t h i n g a m e d i a t o r d o e s b u t , a t t h e e n d , w i l l m a k e a
j u d g m e n t t h a t t h e e m p l o y e e s a r e e x p e c t e d t o f o l l o w . I t m a y b e c l e a r f r o m t h e o u t s e t t h a t
e m p l o y e e s e x p e c t t h e s u p e r v i s o r t o t a k e t h e r o l e o f a n a r b i t e r . O r , i t m a y b e c o m e i n c r e a s i n g l y
e v i d e n t a s m e d i a t i o n i s t a k i n g p l a c e , t h a t a n a r b i t e r w i l l b e n e e d e d . T h e s u p e r v i s o r n e e d s t o
c l e a r l y c o m m u n i c a t e h i s r o l e . I f t h e r o l e c h a n g e s , w o r k e r s n e e d u n d e r s t a n d t h a t , t o o .
B e c a u s e i t i s n o r m a l l y p r e f e r a b l e f o r a l l p a r t i e s i n v o l v e d t o h a v e a c o n f l i c t s o l v e d a t t h e
m e d i a t i o n r a t h e r t h a n a r b i t r a t i o n s t a g e , i t h e l p s f o r a s u p e r v i s o r t o b e s l o w i n t a k i n g o n t h e r o l e
o f a n a r b i t e r , e s p e c i a l l y w h e n t h e s e t w o i n d i v i d u a l s w i l l h a v e t o c o n t i n u e t o w o r k t o g e t h e r .
D u r i n g t h e p r o c e s s o f l i s t e n i n g t o t h e v a r i o u s p e r s p e c t i v e s , a n d b e f o r e m a k i n g a d e c i s i o n , a n
a r b i t e r m a y w i s h t o o f f e r e m p l o y e e s t h e o p p o r t u n i t y t o w o r k o u t t h e i r o w n p r o b l e m , o r t o w o r k
o u t d i f f i c u l t i e s t h r o u g h m e d i a t i o n .
A t t i m e s , a j u d g e a n d a j u d g m e n t a r e n e e d e d . S u p e r v i s o r s w h o h a v e t o a r b i t r a t e s h o u l d a v o i d
t r y i n g t o m a k e b o t h p a r t i e s h a p p y w i t h t h e d e c i s i o n . M o s t o f t h e t i m e i t i s s i m p l y n o t p o s s i b l e .
I t m a y b e a n a d m i r a b l e g o a l f o r m e d i a t i o n , b u t n o t f o r a r b i t r a t i o n . I n s t e a d , t h e a r b i t r a t o r i s
r e q u i r e d t o b e i m p a r t i a l ( t h e r e i s n o r o o m f o r f a v o r i t i s m ) a n d f a i r ( e v e n i f t h i s s e e m s o n e
s i d e d ) .
T h e w e l l - l o v e d s t o r y o f w i s e S o l o m o n o f o l d i s a n e a r l y e x a m p l e o f a r b i t r a t i o n : T w o h a r l o t s h a d
g i v e n b i r t h . S o m e t i m e a f t e r t h a t , o n e o f t h e w o m e n , w h i l e s h e w a s s l e e p i n g , r o l l e d o v e r h e r
c h i l d a n d s u f f o c a t e d h i m . W h e n s h e w o k e u p t h a t n i g h t a n d f o u n d t h e d e a d i n f a n t , s h e t r a d e d
h i m f o r t h a t o f t h e o t h e r . W h e n t h e s e c o n d w o m a n w o k e u p , s h e f o u n d t h e d e a d c h i l d b y h e r .
B u t w h e n m o r n i n g c a m e , s h e c o u l d c l e a r l y b e h o l d t h a t t h i s w a s n o t h e r c h i l d . E a c h w o m a n
c l a i m e d t o b e t h e t r u e m o t h e r o f t h e b a b y t h a t w a s s t i l l a l i v e , a n d t o o k t h e i r c o n f l i c t b e f o r e
K i n g S o l o m o n . T h e k i n g s i m p l y a s k e d f o r a s w o r d , a n d t h e n o r d e r e d : " D i v i d e t h e l i v i n g c h i l d i n
t w o , a n d g i v e h a l f t o t h e o n e , a n d h a l f t o t h e o t h e r . " W h i l e t h e f a l s e m o t h e r t h o u g h t t h i s w a s a
f i n e i d e a , t h e t r u e m o t h e r a s k e d t h e k i n g t o s a v e t h e c h i l d - - e v e n i f t h i s m e a n t g i v i n g t h e i n f a n t
t o t h e o t h e r w o m a n . S o l o m o n t h u s d e t e r m i n e d w h o t h e r e a l m o t h e r w a s , a n d r e t u r n e d t h e c h i l d
t o h e r . 1 5 U n f o r t u n a t e l y , S o l o m o n ’ s p r e t e n d e d i n i t i a l s o l u t i o n t o t h e c o n t e n d i n g m o t h e r s ( t o
d i v i d e t h e b a b y i n h a l f ) w o u l d o f t e n b e c a r r i e d o u t b y s u p e r v i s o r s i n t h e i r m o d e r n d a y a r b i t r a t o r
r o l e . I n t h e i r e f f o r t t o t r y a n d p l e a s e b o t h w o r k e r s , t h e y c r e a t e a c o m p r o m i s e t h a t i s o f t e n
u n f a i r , a n d f r e q u e n t l y u n w o r k a b l e .
I t t a k e s l i t t l e s k i l l , a n d e v e n l e s s s t r e n g t h o f c h a r a c t e r , t o a r b i t r a t e i n t h i s m a n n e r . I n s t e a d , a
s u p e r v i s o r w h o a r b i t r a t e s w i t h f a i r n e s s i s m o r e a p t t o b e r e s p e c t e d b y e m p l o y e e s i n t h e l o n g
r u n . A f t e r d i f f i c u l t i e s a r e w o r k e d o u t , e m p l o y e e s o f t e n f i n d t h a t t h e i r r e l a t i o n s h i p s h a v e b e e n
s t r e n g t h e n e d .
Summary
W h e r e v e r t h e r e a r e c h o i c e s t o b e m a d e , d i f f e r e n c e s m a y p r o v i d e c h a l l e n g e s o r o p p o r t u n i t i e s .
O n e d i f f i c u l t y i s t h e p o s s i b i l i t y t h a t d i f f e r e n c e s w i l l r e s u l t i n i n c r e a s e d c o n t e n t i o n . S u p e r v i s o r s
m a y h a v e t o a c t a s m e d i a t o r s a n d a r b i t r a t o r s f r o m t i m e t o t i m e . T h e a d v a n t a g e o f m e d i a t i o n i s
m a i n t a i n i n g r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r p r o b l e m s o l v i n g a n d c o n f l i c t r e s o l u t i o n a t t h e l e v e l o f t h o s e w h o
o w n t h e c h a l l e n g e . S e l e c t i n g a n o u t s i d e m e d i a t o r o f t e n m a k e s s e n s e .
S e v e r a l r o l e s t a k e n o n b y t h e m e d i a t o r i n c l u d e u n d e r s t a n d i n g e a c h p a r t i c i p a n t ’ s p e r s p e c t i v e ;
s e t t i n g g r o u n d r u l e s f o r i m p r o v e d c o m m u n i c a t i o n ; c o a c h i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s o n e f f e c t i v e i n t e r a c t i o n
s t y l e s ; e q u a l i z i n g p o w e r ; a n d h e l p i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s p l a n f o r f u t u r e i n t e r a c t i o n .
W h e n t h e s u p e r v i s o r a c t s i n t h e r o l e o f a n a r b i t r a t o r , i t i s m o r e i m p o r t a n t t o m a k e a f a i r
j u d g m e n t t h a n t o t r y t o p l e a s e a l l w o r k e r s i n v o l v e d .
Chapter 13 References
1 . C o v e y , S . ( 1 9 8 9 ) . S e v e n H a b i t s o f H i g h l y E f f e c t i v e P e o p l e . N e w Y o r k : S i m o n & S c h u s t e r .
2 . F i s h e r , R . , U r y , W . , & P a t t o n , B . ( 1 9 9 1 ) . G e t t i n g t o Y e s : N e g o t i a t i n g A g r e e m e n t W i t h o u t
G i v i n g I n ( 2 n d e d . ) . P e n g u i n B o o k s , a n d D e e t z , S . A . , & S t e v e n s o n , S . L . ( 1 9 8 6 ) . M a n a g i n g
I n t e r p e r s o n a l C o m m u n i c a t i o n . N e w Y o r k : H a r p e r & R o w P u b l i s h e r s .
3 . R a c k h a m , N . ( 1 9 9 9 ) . T h e B e h a v i o r o f S u c c e s s f u l N e g o t i a t o r s ( 3 r d e d . ) ( p .
3 4 8 ) . N e g o t i a t i o n : R e a d i n g s , E x e r c i s e s , a n d C a s e s . E d i t e d b y L e w i c k i , S a u n d e r s & M i n t o n .
B o s t o n : I r w i n / M c G r a w - H i l l .
4 . B i l l i k o p f , G . E . C o n t r i b u t i o n s o f C a u c u s i n g a n d P r e - C a u c u s i n g t o M e d i a t i o n ( i n
p r e s s ) . G r o u p F a c i l i t a t i o n : A R e s e a r c h a n d A p p l i c a t i o n s J o u r n a l .
5 . W i n s l a d e , J . , & M o n k , G . ( 2 0 0 0 ) . N a r r a t i v e M e d i a t i o n : A N e w A p p r o a c h t o C o n f l i c t
R e s o l u t i o n . S a n F r a n c i s c o : J o s s e y - B a s s P u b l i s h e r s .
6 . B u s h , R . A . , B a r u c h & F o l g e r , J . P . ( 1 9 9 4 ) . T h e P r o m i s e o f M e d i a t i o n . S a n F r a n c i s c o :
J o s s e y - B a s s P u b l i s h e r s .
7 . T i n g - T o o m e y , S . ( 1 9 9 9 ) . C o m m u n i c a t i n g A c r o s s C u l t u r e s . N e w Y o r k : T h e G u i l f o r d P r e s s .
8 . D e e t z , S . A . , & S t e v e n s o n , S . L . ( 1 9 8 6 ) . M a n a g i n g I n t e r p e r s o n a l C o m m u n i c a t i o n . N e w
Y o r k : H a r p e r & R o w P u b l i s h e r s .
9 . W a l t o n , R . E . ( 1 9 8 7 ) . M a n a g i n g C o n f l i c t : I n t e r p e r s o n a l D i a l o g u e a n d T h i r d - P a r t y R o l e s ( 2 n d
e d . ) ( p . 1 0 8 ) . A d d i s o n - W e s l e y P u b l i s h i n g C o m p a n y .
1 0 . R o b e r t , M . ( 1 9 8 2 ) . M a n a g i n g C o n f l i c t F r o m t h e I n s i d e O u t ( p p . 1 1 9 - 1 2 8 ) . U n i v e r s i t y
A s s o c i a t e s . E x c e l l e n t s u g g e s t i o n s a r e a l s o p r o v i d e d o n h o w t o m a n a g e c o n f l i c t a m o n g g r o u p s .
1 1 . F i s h e r , R . , U r y , W . , & P a t t o n , B . ( 1 9 9 1 ) . G e t t i n g t o Y e s : N e g o t i a t i n g A g r e e m e n t W i t h o u t
G i v i n g I n ( 2 n d e d . ) . P e n g u i n B o o k s , a n d D e e t z , S . A . , & S t e v e n s o n , S . L . ( 1 9 8 6 ) M a n a g i n g
I n t e r p e r s o n a l C o m m u n i c a t i o n . N e w Y o r k : H a r p e r & R o w P u b l i s h e r s .
1 2 . B o d i n e , N . ( 2 0 0 1 , J u l y ) . F o u n d e r a n d m e m b e r o f B o a r d o f D i r e c t o r s o f T h e W o r k p l a c e
I n s t i t u t e ( n o w C e n t e r f o r C o l l a b o r a t i v e S o l u t i o n s ) p e r s o n a l c o m m u n i c a t i o n .
1 3 . N o d i s t i n c t i o n i s i n t e n d e d b e t w e e n t h e c o n c e p t o f n e e d a n d t h a t o f i n t e r e s t . I n c h a p t e r
P r i n t i n g t h i s e l e c t r o n i c W e b p a g e o n c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t i s p e r m i t t e d f o r p e r s o n a l ,
e d u c a t i o n a l o r n o n - c o m m e r c i a l u s e ( s u c h t h a t p e o p l e a r e n o t c h a r g e d f o r t h e m a t e r i a l s ) a s l o n g
a s t h e a u t h o r a n d t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f C a l i f o r n i a a r e c r e d i t e d , a n d t h e p a g e i s p r i n t e d i n i t s
e n t i r e t y . W e d o n o t c h a r g e f o r r e p r i n t s , b u t a p p r e c i a t e k n o w i n g h o w y o u a r e m a k i n g u s e o f t h i s
p a p e r . P l e a s e s e n d u s a m e s s a g e t h r o u g h t h e E - m a i l l i n k a t t h e t o p o f t h i s p a g e . Y o u m a y
p r e f e r t o d o w n l o a d t h e P D F v e r s i o n o f t h i s c h a p t e r , f r o m t h e y e l l o w l i n k s e c t i o n a b o v e , o r
d o w n l o a d t h e c o m p l e t e b o o k o n c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t f o r f r e e , P a r t y - D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n , 2 n d
E d i t i o n , 2 0 0 9 . T h a t p a g e a l s o i n c l u d e s i n s t r u c t i o n s f o r p r o v i d i n g e l e c t r o n i c c o p i e s f o r y o u r
s t u d e n t s o r c l i e n t s a t n o c o s t . T h i s i s a p u b l i c s e r v i c e o f t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f C a l i f o r n i a .
L a b o r M a n a g e m e n t i n A g
T a b l e o f C o n t e n t s
2 0 A u g u s t 2 0 0 9
About Conflict ManagementBy Priti Ramjee, eHow Contributor
An employee not informed of a decision may be a situation for conflict management.
When a person is opposed by another because his needs and goals are different, he faces conflict. Feelings of anger, frustration, hurt, anxiety or fear almost always accompany conflict. Conflict management identifies and handles the conflict using effective communicating, problem-solving and understanding each person's interest to negotiate fairly.
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1. Purpose of Conflict Managemento Conflict management is a systematic process to find a satisfying outcome
between conflicted parties. With conflict management, a team, group and organization function more effectively and achieve goals. Without it, group performance is affected. Conflict management is less about identifying a problem than it is about establishing an ongoing process with leaders dedicated to creating open communication channels, developing productive work relationships, encouraging participation, improving organizational processes and procedures and helping individuals develop "win-win" outcomes.
o The workplace can create a situation between co-workers, or between an employer and an employee as a result of poor communication. For example, an employee may not be informed of a decision or does not understand the reasons for a decision. She may be conflicted because of a rumor. Perhaps, she has misunderstood the role that management has assigned to her. If management shows the employee a lack of support, the situation can grow requiring the need for conflict management.
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Process of Conflict Managemento The process of conflict management involves understanding the nature of the
conflict, who is involved and initiating resolution. In the case of conflict between an employer and employee, the employer initiates conflict management by arranging a time to meet with the employee and a human resources consultant or facilitator. All parties should understand that the purpose of managing the conflict is to find a solution. Action points, if required, should be completed within a certain time. Once the situation has been resolved, the cause should be discussed with measures to stop the situation from reoccurring.
Evolution of Conflict Managemento Prior to the 1940s, conflict was considered counterproductive to organizational
goals. The conflict management style was conflict avoidance leaving the conflicted party to feel slighted. Since the mid-1970s, experts believe that a conflict-free, cooperative organization tends to become stagnant and unresponsive to market change. As a result, a new position on conflict management emerged as an interactive approach encouraging conflict to enhance performance in the workplace through conflict management. (See Reference 4)
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