4:30 PM, WEDNESDAY JANUARY 30 TH , 2013 DAVENPORT COLLEGE COMMON ROOM The Yale Record and Davenport College present a Master’s Tea with: BriTANicK Writers of sketches such as “Academy Award Winning Movie Trailer” and the SXSW-selected short film “Eagles are Turning People Into Horses: The Movie” Semi-naked Danica Patrick Dog fetching beer Someone driving a fast car in an inappropriate location Baby that talks like your dad Men standing on a couch and throwing tortilla chips all over the room Dramatization of the temperature of beer A movie commercial with the BWAAAA from Inception Football players eating Neil Patrick Harris cameo Charlie Chaplin cameo Honest discussion of Liberian politics Someone quickly becomes more attractive than they were at the beginning of the ad FREE SPACE: Casual misogyny Questionable Viagra ad Clint Eastwood talking to an imaginary car An old person doing something that is typically done by younger people A child doing something that is typically done by older people Boobs you think the advertisers wanted you to notice Funny commercial that you missed because you were in the bathroom President Obama silently drinking a glass of milk Stay tuned for a new episode of The New Normal, guest starring Tom Brady Two cast members from Glee having sex A commercial where Doritos are on fire for some reason?? That one commercial that is only funny to adults Preview for Explosions: The Movie SUPERBOWL COMMERCIAL BINGO FAMOUS SUPERBOWL MOMENTS 1965: In a play that would soon be outlawed, Joe Namath ties the football to the legs of a passing bird, which flies it to the endzone 1979: Green Bay Packers add Michael Jackson to the lineup exclusively for touchdown dance purposes 1985: In final minutes, opposing quarterbacks pause and realize their differences aren’t so great after all 1988: Mrs. Bartels’ third-grade class from Franklin Roosevelt Elementary School sings the National Anthem; Freddie Beckwith pees his pants, the entire stadium laughs at him, and Stacy Stephens doesn’t like him anymore 1993: Pigeons storm field after bread-intensive halftime show 1997: Two receivers collide in midair and switch personalities 2002: Kurt Warner sidelined after overenthusiastic huddle spank 2007: Coach Lovie Smith takes the Chicago Bears out to pizza because, even though they didn’t win, he knows they tried their very hardest THE YALE RECORD’S GUIDE TO: “Did you guys catch that Doritos ad?”