The Stand Up For Mental Health Comedy Workbook by David ...

The Stand Up For Mental Health Comedy Workbook

by David Granirer© 2013

© 2013, David Granirer, Founder, Stand Up For Mental HealthP: (604) 205-9242 F: (604) 205-9243

[email protected] www.standupformentalhealth.com 1

mailto:[email protected]


Table of Contents

Introduction 3

The Stand-Up Comedy Formula 10

Five Steps To Funny 12

Five Steps Simplified: Misdirection 18

Good To Bad 20

Exaggeration 21

Asking The Comedy Questions Process 22

Open Ended Comedy Questions 30

The What/Then Technique 34

Joke Checklist 38

Act Outs 39

One Of These Things Doesn’t Belong 44

List Of Three 48

Redefinitions 51

How To Make Your Stories Funny 54

Bombproofing 58

Structuring Your Set 59

Practicing Your Delivery 60

Talking To Your Audience 61

Saver Lines 64

Dealing With Difficult Audiences 67

Dealing With Hecklers 70

Heckler Lines 73





It took a lot of time and effort to create this workbook, so please don’t make copies and send them to all your friends unless they’re absolutely too broke to buy it!

Introduction

© 2013 by David Granirer

Why Stand-Up Comedy?

Being funny on command is one of the hardest things anyone can do. But that’s exactly what

stand-up comics do, night after night. And the good ones make it look easy. The illusion they

create is that they just thought of all this funny stuff on the spur of the moment. What we don’t

see is all the work they put in behind the scenes to make the illusion happen.

Just how do they do it? This workbook will hopefully demystify the whole process for you.

You’ll learn how to take that nebulous term funny and break it down into its various components.

Whether you want to do stand-up comedy, or add humor to your presentations, the principles are

the same. This workbook contains descriptions, formulas, exercises, and techniques that will help

you get to that place where you to can be funny on command.

One of the most important goals of stand-up comedy is to get as many laughs per minute

(LPMs) as you can. The idea is that the setup to a joke (the part that comes before the laugh) is as

short as possible so you can maximize your LPMs. And the great thing about having stand-up

comedy material is that if you’re a presenter or speaker, you can go through your presentation

and decide exactly how many laughs you want at any given point.

It’s Not Stories

Secondly, stand-up comedy is not about telling the funny stories that crack up your friends.

Getting laughs from an audience of strangers is totally different. Your friends know you and

understand exactly where you’re coming from. So you can tell a funny story about your uncle





Ed, building up to the climax of “Then uncle Ed made this weird face...” and they’ll all laugh

because they know uncle Ed and his idiosyncrasies. Unfortunately, an audience of strangers

doesn’t know and doesn’t care who uncle Ed is, so when you get to the funny part about him

making a face, they’ll just sit there in dead silence. I can’t begin to count the number of times

students have come into my comedy course figuring it’ll be a breeze because all they have to do

is tell stories. Usually they have to die a few times before they get it.

Another problem with stories is they take too long to get to the punch. Comedy is about

tension and release. As you set up a joke, tension rises because the audience is waiting for a

payoff in the form of a laugh. The longer it takes you to get to the laugh, the greater the tension

becomes, and the bigger the expectations are that what you’re saying is going to be hilarious. So

if you take three minutes to get to the funny part, people expect a huge laugh. In other words,

you’ve set yourself up for a big fall. That’s why in stand-up comedy there’s never more than

about 10 seconds between setup and punch.

The other problem with long stories also has to do with expectations. Since a lot of people are

familiar with stand-up, they’ve grown to expect lots of laughs per minute (LPMs). So if you go

on and on, they’ll get bored and tune out. As a matter of fact, one of the most important goals of

stand-up comedy is to get as many LPMs as you can. The idea is that the setup to a joke (the part

that comes before the laugh) is as short as possible so you can maximize your LPMs.

Now there is an exception to this no story rule. If you want to use a story, it has to be put into

the stand-up comedy format you’ll learn in this course.

It’s Not Common Jokes

Stand-up comedy is also not about telling common jokes that circulate at work or among your

friends. There are two reasons for this. First, common jokes, like stories take too long to set up.

Secondly, chances are good that about half your audience has already heard them. So if you pass





them off as your own, it lessens your credibility. I’ve heard comics do this, and spent the rest of

the show wondering how many of their other jokes weren’t there’s. So if you do want to use

common jokes, you need to acknowledge that this is a joke you’ve heard somewhere.

Don’t Steal

Stand-up comedy is also not about taking a funny bit you’ve heard a comic use and

pretending it’s your own. Jokes are intellectual property. Whoever wrote them probably spent a

lot of time on each joke. Also, you’re bound to get caught somewhere down the road, because

eventually someone in your audience will recognize that Dennis Miller bit you’ve passed off as

your own. And you’ll damage your reputation among other speakers, and any comics that find

out will hate you forever. This also applies to taking someone’s joke, changing a few words and

then pretending it’s your own. Now to be fair, there are a lot of people out there writing jokes,

and because of that, chances are good that you may write a joke that’s similar to someone else’s.

In this case it’s OK, because it’s an honest coincidence. A friend emails jokes to Jay Leno, and

they told him not to freak if he hears a joke very similar to one he wrote make it onto the show,

because Leno has thousands of people emailing in topical bits every day, and there’s a good

chance people will take similar angles.

OK, So What The Heck Is Stand-up Comedy?

Stand-up comedy involves a very specific format for writing jokes. This format is known as

setup/punch, and this course will teach you how to use it. Stand-up comedy also involves being

able to interact with an audience, recover when jokes don’t work, defuse hecklers, and use skills

such as immediacy to create audience rapport and deal with unexpected events. Stand-up comedy

also involves a lot of preparation and work.

Road Testing Your Jokes





Once you’ve written a joke, the next step is to test it out. This is crucial, because that bit about

the mutant talking carrot that seemed hilarious at the time may not translate into anyone else’s

lexicon of what’s funny. It’s easy to lose perspective or for your ego to get too attached to

something you’ve just written.

So I’d recommend starting with a comedy buddy. My comedy buddies are people who aren’t

in the business of speaking or comedy, but who seem to have a good handle on what people will

laugh at. Also, my comedy buddies know me well enough to be honest in their responses, so I

don’t have to worry that they’re “sympathy laughers,” people who will laugh just to make me

feel good. This being said, many of your friends can actually be notoriously bad judges of what’s

funny. They’re used to who you are when you’re around them, and it may take them some time

to get used to you as a comic. One student came to class each week saying that she’d run her

material by her husband and that he thought it wasn’t funny. Well the class talked her into

sticking with it, and she rocked at her showcase! The bottom line is that if you think something

you’ve written is funny, try it out on an audience. You’ll get your feedback soon enough.

One way to give your new joke a fair shot is to position it in a good spot in your show. In

general, I won’t start with a new joke, as the audience usually isn’t warmed up enough for me to

get a proper reading as to their response. My favorite place to put a new joke is after I’ve gotten

some laughs and presumably won the audience over.

To give myself the confidence to try a new joke, I always have a backup plan for what to do if

it doesn’t work. We’ll look at backup plans later in this workbook. I also surround my new jokes

with tried and tested material so I never have more than one or maybe two new jokes in a row.

Once I’ve tried a joke with a comedy buddy and it passes the test, the next step is to to try it out

on an audience.

Remember, you need to give your jokes a chance. I always try a joke two to three times

before I abandon it. Some of my best jokes bombed the first time ‘round, and some jokes, which





killed the first time never, got a laugh after that. Also, some jokes I thought were hilarious

bombed, whereas others I thought were bad ended getting a huge response.

Finally what I’ve found is that once a joke does work, I need to use it another four or five

times to really develop confidence in it. As far as I’m concerned, a good joke should have at least

an 85 percent success rate (in other words, get a laugh 85 percent of the time), and it takes that

many trials to find out for sure.

Write Lots of Stuff Regularly

I find that my best writing happens when I’m doing it regularly. When that happens, I

automatically start to think and sometimes talk in a setup/punch format, something that drives

my wife crazy. Your friends and family will also hate it, but it does help in the development of

good material, so who cares about them anyway!

Also, a good success rate for writing jokes is about 20 percent (i.e.. 20 percent of the jokes

you write will be funny), so you need to have volume in order to build a body of good material.

I’d estimate that if I took all the material I’ve ever written, I’d have about five hours of comedy,

but only an hour or so would be funny. So don’t get discouraged because the skill of writing

good material takes time, and lots of trial and error.

Areas to Avoid

If you’re taking Stand Up For Mental Health your humor needs to be clean and non-offensive.

So no bodily functions humor or references to penises, breasts, or other sexual organs. It’s

probably a good idea to leave out that material about how you like to get drunk and throw up.

Also, no racist, sexist, or homophobic humor, or jokes that target anyone from any group that

society perceives as oppressed.





If you’re planning on doing clubs and bars, you obviously have way more latitude. But here’s

a good general rule. Never pick on anyone lower down on the perceived power structure (PPS)

than yourself. On the PPS, white males are at the top, and pretty much everyone else, women,

minorities, etc. occupy rungs lower down. I say perceived power structure because the PPS is not

always the case in reality. However, people’s perceptions guide their feelings towards you, and if

you pick on someone lower down on the PPS than you, the audience will turn against you. It may

not be fair, but it’s a reality comics and speakers have to deal with. I’ve seen women comics

make jokes about how dumb their husbands are, but if a man made similar jokes about his wife

he’d be booed off the stage. So the higher you are on the PPS, the less targets you have. If you’re

a white male, self-deprecation goes a long way!

Of course it’s OK to pick on your own ethnic or minority group. One of my comedy students

is hard of hearing (he calls it being deaf), and he makes some very funny and pointed remarks

about deaf people. If a non-deaf comic made those same remarks he’d be toast!

Literal Vs Emotional Truth

In comedy, the audience knows that you’re not telling the literal truth. But what you say has

to be emotionally true. The audience member has to be able to look at you and think, “Even

though he’s not telling the literal truth, I can see how he would feel that way or have that

perspective on his topic.” I once saw a gorgeous female comic do a bit on how she used panty

hose to hide her “figure flaws.” As she said this I looked at her and thought, “But you don’t have

any figure flaws.” Her body language and mannerisms all communicated that she knew she was

gorgeous. In my opinion her words did not convey an emotional truth, and thus the bit lost its

bite.

What Do I Write About?





Write about topics that you have strong feelings about, things that you feel passionate about,

things that outrage, frustrate or interest you. Write about things, people, or situations that piss

you off, drive you nuts or confuse you. Also write about experiences you’ve had at work or in

your personal life. Most people’s strongest material comes from their personal experience,

because it’s what makes them unique.

How To Use This Workbook

This workbook contains many techniques for generating great material. Like everything

worthwhile, they take time and effort to really master. My suggestion is to learn them one at a

time, mastering each one before learning the next. After the section describing each technique

there is a template for that technique that you can photocopy and use to practice it. Once you’ve

really gotten the hang of one technique, parts of it will become automatic and you will be able to

skip some of the steps. You will have trained your mind to think in a different way, which is what

writing comedy is all about.

I believe that equally as important as the joke you’ve just written is knowing how you got

there. The idea is to be able to duplicate whatever process gets you to your final joke so you can

use it to generate lots of other material. This workbook will allow you to do just that. The

techniques you’ll learn are also cumulative, so I’d suggest learning them in order. You may also

want to adapt the techniques to fit your style. Nothing in this book or in comedy is carved in

stone.

Also, you’ll notice that all the jokes in this workbook are written out in the following format:

Setup: As a counselor I meet some really bitter, angry, sick people.

Punch: And those are just the other counselors.





Please write or type out your jokes using this format. The reason for it is that when jokes are

diagrammed out, it makes it much easier to go back and fix them if they don’t work. Often when

one of my student’s jokes doesn’t work I’ll ask him “What’s your setup?” If he hasn’t

diagrammed out his joke then he usually can’t answer this question, and we have to go right back

to the beginning to fix the joke. Also, when you’re really clear on what part of your joke is the

setup and what part is the punch you’ll have far greater success in writing funny material.

The Stand-Up Comedy Formula

Humor = Exaggeration and/or surprise.

This is the basic formula for writing stand-up comedy. In general, humor involves

exaggeration and/or surprise. For something to be funny, there must be some sort of surprise

twist and/or exaggeration of reality. If the punchline is predictable, then no one will laugh.

Setup = Factual statement about your topic.

The setup is not meant to be funny. It often consists of a fact or opinion like: People often say

to me, “David, you’re brave to do stand-up comedy.” A good setup is also short and to the point,

no longer than about 10 seconds, and contains no more than one idea. Often a setup will include

your attitude, how you feel about what you’re talking about. Do you hate it? Love it? Does it

scare you? Often what’s funny is not your topic, but your attitude towards it.

Here are some examples of setups:

• Being a counselor is a brutal way to make money.

• It’s tough eating healthy.

• I hate camping.





Punchline = Funny

The punchline is the funny part of a joke. It stands in contrast to the setup and contains an

unexpected twist or exaggeration. The setup creates certain expectations, which the punchline

then shatters.

Here’s an example of a complete joke. I’ve taken the fact I gave you earlier and used it as a

setup: People often say to me, “David, you’re brave to do stand-up comedy.” This fact creates

certain logical expectations. For example, we’d expect that the people who say it to me are

audience members, and that they say it at my comedy shows. To shatter this expectation I have

to substitute a different thing than what people are expecting. In other words, other than audience

members at my shows, who else and where else would people say, “David, you’re brave to do

stand-up comedy?” My alternative substitution is that rather than being audience members, the

people saying it are my counseling clients, and that they’re saying it to me during our sessions.

Thus the entire joke looks like this:

Setup: People often say, “David, you’re brave to do stand-up

comedy.”

Punch: But they only say it when I’m counseling them.

Here’s another example. Let’s take this fact: As a counselor, I meet some really bitter, angry,

sick people. Obviously, we expect those people to be my clients. In my substitution I need to

figure out whom else these bitter, angry, sick people are. My answer is my colleagues. Here’s the

entire joke:

Setup: As a counselor, I meet some really bitter, angry, sick people.






The Punch Word Comes Last!

Make sure you put the punch word, the word that triggers the laugh last. You’ll notice that the

last word in this joke is “counselors.” The punchline would be much less effective if it was:

“And the counselors I work with are the people I’m talking about.” People will start to laugh

when they hear the word “counselor,” and if I continue on after that, they will quickly stop

laughing to hear what else I have to say. In the comedy world this is called stepping on your

laughs.

Five Steps To Funny

Often people say that their humor is spontaneous, and that a structured process for generating

humor feels too contrived. And spontaneous humor is great, unfortunately it doesn’t always

happen. Think of the structured process that I’m about to show you as a form of “prepared

spontaneity.” You prepare so well that to your audience, your humor sounds spontaneous.

Probably the worst place to start when you’re writing comedy is to ask yourself “How can I

make this funny?” “Funny” is a vague, nebulous term that provides no structure to the joke-

writing process. And the better your structure, the better your chances are for success. Here then,

is a five-step structured process for generating great comedy material bases on a technique called

misdirection. Misdirection involves a setup that takes us in one direction and a punchline that

goes in another. After you go through the Five Steps To Funny I’ll show you how to make it even

simpler, but fornow I just want to start by giving you a sense of the entire process. Here goes:

Step One: Choose something you’d like to write about. This something could be the topic you

present on, a story you’d like to tell, or almost anything else. The following example is from a

student in my Stand Up For Mental Health class

Topic: Mental Illness





Step Two: Write down 10 facts about your chosen subject. If you want to tell a story, then

each development or each sentence in your story becomes a separate fact.

Fact #1: When I was in the psych ward, the doctor said I wasn’t ready to go home, so I tried to

prove it to him by doing a complicated art project.

Fact #2: When I was manic I ran 100 miles a week.

Etc, etc.

Note: Facts can include your opinions, whether or not they are true, because the fact is that

you have certain opinions.

Step Three: The facts from Step Two are now my setups. I choose a setup I think looks

promising, and look for expectations to shatter. Please note that by expectations, I’m referring to

expectations that would logically arise from a given statement, not something bizarre or off the

wall. In other words, these are things that we expect when we here a given statement. At this

point I’m not trying to be funny. I’m saving that for the punchline. What we’re especially

looking for is what I call No Brainer Expectations (NBEs). NBEs are things that are so obvious

that even an idiot could see them. Unfortunately, they’re usually so obvious that we miss them.

Many statements have one or two of what I call (NBEs). For example:

Setup: When I was manic I ran 100 miles a week.

The NBE here is that running 100 miles a week refers to jogging for exercise and that the person

returned home after jogging.

Another NBE is that the person making the statement had clothes on while jogging.

Step Four: Now I choose one of my NBE’s and come up with some substitutions. By taking

where we expect the setup to go and substituting something else, I create an element of surprise

and misdirection. For example, let’s say I chose the NBE that the person returned home after





each jog. To get a substitution I’d ask myself “What else could running 100 miles a week refer to

or mean?” This is where you get creative and allow yourself to think of all sorts of bizarre

possibilities. For example:

1. Running 100 miles a week could mean that each week the person ran 100 miles further

away from her home.

Step Five: Now I take my substitution and make it into my punchline.


Punchline: I made it all the way to Alaska before the cops caught me.

To get this punchline, we had to take the substitute expectation and turn it into something more

specific. It wouldn’t be as funny if we said:


Punchline: I ended up 400 miles away from home.

This is where it helps to be specific by taking your substitution and asking, if she ran that far

from home, what’s a distant place she could end up, and why would she want to end up there?

Thus we have: I made it all the way to Yellowknife before the cops caught me.

As I said before, taking an NBE and substituting something else has helped us to create a joke

that contains surprise or misdirection. We expect something, and then the punchline goes another

way, which is one element of a good joke.

Why All This Structure?

Another reason for having a highly structured writing process like this is that while it’s great

to create a good joke, it’s just as important to know how you got there so you can duplicate the





process. I know comics who come up with great jokes from time to time; but since they don’t

have a clue how they came up with them, their ability to create more is very limited.

Also, if your joke doesn’t work, having a good structure makes it easier to go back and figure

out what went wrong and where it went wrong.

Five Steps To Funny Example #2

Let’s look at another example of this process:

Step One: Choose something you’d like to write about. We’re going to use another example

from my Stand Up For Mental Health class.

Topic: Mental Illness

Step Two: Write down 10 facts about your chosen subject.

Fact #1: When I was in the psych ward, the doctor said I wasn’t ready to go home, so I tried to

prove it to him by doing a complicated art project.

Fact #2: When I was manic I ran 100 miles a week.

Etc, etc. As you see, these are the facts from the previous example.

Step Three: The facts from Step Two are now my setups. I choose a setup I think looks

promising, and look for expectations to shatter. In this case I’ll choose setup #3.

Setup: When I was in the psych ward, the doctor said I wasn’t ready to go home, so I tried

to prove it to him by doing a complicated art project.





What is the NBE? That complicated art project refers to drawing, painting, clay, sculpture or

something artistic like that.

Step Four: Come up with a substitution for the NBE. Other than drawing, painting, clay,

sculpture or something artistic, what could complicated art project refer to?

Complicated art project could refer to:

1. Throwing ice cream at the orderlies.

2. Tying sheets together and letting herself out the window.

3. Making a suit and using it to impersonate a doctor to sign discharge papers.

Step Five: Now I choose one of my substitutions and make it into my punchline. I think #2 is

the best. In fact it’s so good we don’t even have to do much with it to make it into a punch.

Setup: When I was in the psych ward, the doctor said I wasn’t ready to go home, so I tried

to prove it to him by doing a complicated art project.

Punch: It involved tying sheets together and letting myself out the window.

Here is an encapsulation of the entire Five Steps To Funny Process:

Step One: Choose something you’d like to write about.

Step Two: Write down 10 facts about your chosen subject.

Step Three: The facts from Step Two are now your setups. Choose a setup you think looks

promising, and look for NBEs to shatter.

Step Four: Now choose one of your expectations and come up with some substitutions.





Step Five: Now choose one of your substitutions and make it into your punchline. Come up

with 3-5 punchlines, then choose the best.

Keep Your Options Open!

Not all your setups are going to work. But the great thing about this process is that it gives

you lots of options. If you get to a point where you’re stuck, you can go back to Step Two and

choose another fact as a setup. Or you can go back to Step Four and choose another NBE to

shatter, or to Step Five and choose another substitution to make into a punchline.

The Simpler The Better

When I show this process to people, they often say something like: “This sure is a lot of

work.” To which I respond, “Of course.” Writing comedy is a lot of work. In fact, I think it’s the

hardest kind of writing there is. And one of the hardest things about it is the simplicity of the

process. It goes against everything we’ve been taught about writing. When you’re writing an

essay or a speech, you must go into great detail to back up your opinions. Writing comedy is just

the opposite. You leave out all the detail, and just keep the bare minimum number of words you

need to be coherent. Ruthlessly edit out anything that doesn’t move the joke forward. I’ve heard

it said that Jerry Seinfeld will spend an hour and a half to get a setup down from nine words to

seven. Here’s what I mean. Take this joke:

Setup: My doctor says that smoking causes cancer.

Punch: But he mellowed out after I offered him a quarter ounce.

Originally, this student’s setup was: “The other day I went in for my annual checkup. The

doctor asked me if I smoked, and I said, “No.” He said, “Good, because as you know, smoking

causes cancer.” However, most of the words do nothing to move the joke forward, so we cut

them out. The fact that he went in for his annual checkup isn’t important for the joke so we left it





out. The same goes for “The doctor asked me if I smoked.” The only thing we need to know for

the joke to work is that his doctor said that smoking causes cancer.

Breaking The Rules

As you’re writing a joke, you might get an idea for a great punchline before you start the five-

step process, or before you get to the end of it. In that case, use that great idea! The Five Steps To

Funny Process is meant to help you generate material, but there will be times when you get

inspired and don’t need it.

Five Steps Simplified = Misdirection Made Easy

Some people find the Five Steps to Funny confusing and cumbersome, so here’s how to

simplify them. The basic idea of the Five Steps is misdirection where the setup takes us in one

direction and the punch goes in another. So really all you need to do is have a setup, figure out

where it goes logically and then make your punch go somewhere else. For example, here’s a joke

by someone in my Norwich Connecticut Stand Up For Mental Health group:

Setup: I like cats.

Logical direction: he likes cats as pets.

Substitution: He likes to eat them

Complete joke:

Setup: I like cats.

Punch: I like them with teriyaki sauce.

Note: You’ll notice the punch is I like them with teriyaki sauce, not I like to eat them.

Teriyaki sauce is funner because it’s more specific. Remember there is no right punch.

The punch could also be I like them on the barbeque or I like them with fries, or I like

them baked...you get the idea...





Misdirection Template

Here is a template you can photocopy and use for writing jokes that involve misdirection.

Step One: Get a setup

Setup:____________________________________________________________

Step Two: Where does it logically go?

____________________________________________________________

Step Three: Substitute something else and make it into the punch.

Punch:____________________________________________________________





Good To Bad And Bad To Worse

In comedy the punchlines often go from good to bad or bad to worse. I’m not sure why that is,

but we seem to find misfortune funny, and the worse it gets the funnier we think it is.

It’s also a great way to get multiple punchlines for a single joke. Here’s a good example from

Nelson Bardon, one of my Vancouver Stand Up For Mental Health students. You can see him on

our site by going to www.standupformentalhealth.com and clicking on View Video Clips and

then clicking on his thumbnail which will take you to his You Tube clip.

Setup: I still remember the first time I got a welfare check. All I needed were several

pages of documentation and three sources of reference. For documentation I had to

prove I was mentally ill.

Punch: It was hard getting all my restraining orders together.

Punch: And besides it would have taken millions of years for my records to get here from

my home planet Bartek.

Setup: But I worked hard, I persevered. Never in my life did I show more heart and

determination than that day I applied for welfare.

Punch: I had to wrestle seven government officials.

Punch: And I had to win five of the seven bouts.

Setup: The sad thing is that I have to go through that process every time I have an annual

review. And I’m getting old, my body’s breaking down.

Punch: Pretty soon I may have to get a job.

So bad enough that Nelson has to apply for welfare, even worse that he has to get his

restraining orders from his home planet Bartek, even worse that he has to wrestle seven

government officials, even worse that he has to win five of the seven bouts, even worse that he



http://www.standupformentalhealth.com

http://www.standupformentalhealth.com



has to do it on an annual basis, and even worse that his body is breaking down and he might have

to get a job.

So when you’re writing a joke, always ask yourself, “What could make this situation even

worse?” And to get more punchlines just keep asking that question.

Exaggeration

Another technique Nelson uses in the previous joke is exaggeration. His premise that he had

to apply for welfare is true, but his punchlines are all grossly exaggerated. So when you’re

exaggerating something, take it WAY over the top. Take one of the jokes we looked at earlier:


Punch: I made it all the way to Alaska before the cops caught me.

She didn’t just make it to the next county or a neighboring city, she made it to Alaska, the

furthest point in North America. The punch could have also been I made it all the way to

Ecuador or Rio or something like that, as long as it’s somewhere really far from where you are.

Some words are funnier!

For some reason, words with a lot of consonants seem to be funnier. For example, broccolli is

a funnier word than lettuce, or Ecuador is funnier than Rio. I’m not sure why this is, but when

you’re writing your punches it’s something you should bear in mind.

Sacrificing Your Dignity For A Laugh!

Note: In comedy, you need to be prepared to sacrifice your dignity for a laugh. And if that

doesn’t work, then you can sacrifice the dignity of someone else!





Asking The Comedy Questions Process

Here’s another way to write jokes with the element of misdirection or surprise. You do it by

asking a specific question, which will then be answered by the punchline. For example:

Setup: The best thing about being married is having someone to share special occasions

with.

Punch: Answers the question: What kind of special occasions?

The trick however, is to make the answers to your question a surprise or the joke won’t be

funny. In other words, to take the answer that people expect and substitute something else. So if

your joke was:


with.

Punch: Like anniversaries and birthdays.

No one would laugh. It’s too predictable. Here’s how to add that element of surprise:

Step One: Take a setup and figure out what main question it asks.


with.

Main question: What kind of special occasions?

Step Two: Come up with obvious answers to your question What kind of special occasions?

Obvious answers: Birthdays, anniversaries, etc





Step Three: Now come up with substitute answers to the question What kind of special

occasions? Remember that comedy often goes from good to bad or bad to worse, so if your

obvious answers were good things, your substitute answers should be bad things.

Substitute answers to What kind of special occasions?

1. Divorces

2. Funerals

3. Granting of a restraining order

4. Sharing of an STD, etc.

Step Four: Choose one of your substitute answers and make it into a punchline:

Setup: The best thing about being married is having someone to

share special occasions with.

Punch: Like when you sue for divorce.

As in the Five Steps To Funny Process, you might want to brainstorm 3-5 punches and choose

the best.

What if it doesn’t work?

Let’s say that the Comedy Question you’ve chosen to find an alternative explanation leads

nowhere. No problem. Just choose another question and take it through Steps Two, Three, and

Four. For example, let’s say that question: What special occasions are you referring to? is a dud.

Let’s try another one: Where do you celebrate these occasions?

Step Two: Obvious answers to Where do you celebrate these occasions?

1. In fancy restaurants.





2. At home over a glass of champagne.

3. At a luxurious resort.

Step Three: Other than the obvious answers, what alternative answers can you think of for the

question Where do you celebrate these occasions? As in the previous example, since all the

obvious answers refer to good things, the alternatives you come up with should be bad things.

1. In jail.

2. On the Jerry Springer Show.

3. At her boyfriend’s apartment.

4. Anywhere, as long as we’re not together.

Step Four: Now take one of your alternative answers and make it into your punchline. I chose

alternative answer #4:

Setup: The best thing about being married is having someone to

share special occasions with.

Punch: We can celebrate anywhere, as long as we’re not together.

Asking The Comedy Questions Example #2

Here’s another example of this process:

Step One: Take a setup and figure out what question it asks.

I’m a casual guy. I dress the same way at work as I do at home.

Main question: What do you wear at home?





Step Two: Come up with obvious answers to What do you wear at home?

Obvious answers:

1. Jeans

2. Old sweatshirts

3. Slippers

Step Three: Step Three: Now come up with substitute answers to the question What do you

wear at home? Since the original answers are somewhat bad, the substitute answers have to be

way worse.

Substitute answers:

1. My underwear

2. Nothing

3. My wife’s brassiere



Setup: I’m a casual guy. I dress the same way at work as I do at home.

Punch: But my clients aren’t too thrilled when I show up in my underwear.

Note that “underwear” is the punch word. The punch wouldn’t work as well if I said, “When

my clients see me in my underwear they’re not too thrilled.”

Adding Another Punch

To add another punch, you just take your last punch, use it as your next setup, and use Steps

One to Four of the Comedy Questions process. Here’s how:







(This is now your new setup)

Main Question: Where do you where them?

Step Two: Come up with obvious answers to Where do you where them?

There is really only one obvious answer: The normal place everyone wears them.

Step Three: Step Three: Now come up with substitute answers to the question Where do you

where them?

1. On my head.

2. Around my ankles.

3. As a scarf.





Punch #2: Especially when I wear them on my head.

Remember, Be Specific!

The more specific you are, the funnier your jokes will be. In the preceding joke, you’ll notice

that the punchword is “underwear,” not “undergarments” or “underclothes.” Underwear conjures

up a more specific image. Likewise, if you’re doing a joke about buying something at a

convenience store, it’s funnier to be specific: “I was buying a package of Tums at 7-11.”





Keep Your Options Open

As I said before, not all your setups are going to work. But the great thing about this process

is that it gives you lots of options. If you get to a point where you’re stuck, you can choose

another setup. Or you can go back to Step Two and choose another question, or to Step Three and

choose another substitution answer etc. Once you’ve gone back to whatever step you choose,

then just continue to work the joke through the rest of the process.





Comedy Questions Template

Here is a template you can photocopy and use for the Comedy Questions process.

Step One: Choose a setup and figure out what main question it asks.

Setup: _______________________________________________________

Question it asks: ___________________________________________________

Step Two: Now write down some obvious answers to your question.

Obvious answers:

1.________________________________________________________________

2.________________________________________________________________

3.________________________________________________________________

4.________________________________________________________________

5.________________________________________________________________

Step Three: Now come up with some substitute answers.

Substitute answers:

1.________________________________________________________________





2.________________________________________________________________

3.________________________________________________________________

4.________________________________________________________________

5.________________________________________________________________

Step Four: Take one of your substitute answers and make it into your punchline

Setup:____________________________________________________________

Substitute Answer:_________________________________________________

Punch:____________________________________________________________

Remember, you can add more punchlines by using your first punch as your next setup and

doing the whole Comedy Questions process again.





Open Ended Comedy Questions

Another way to create a setup is to take a sentence and make it open-ended, then use the

punchline to complete the sentence. You do this by adding suffixes like this onto your sentence.

• So I’m thinking... • Then I realised... • And if__________ then____________ • Because... • So I guess... • And then he... • I said to myself... • How do you... • But next time... • But... • Is...

Here’s a joke written by Susan Young, one of my students. We’ll start with the complete joke,

then work backwards.

Setup: I went to the gym the other day. I told my personal trainer that I wanted to spice

up my marriage and change my body shape. He told me it would be impossible to...

Punch: Make me square, 50 inches on the diagonal and come with a remote control.

Step One: Start with a setup and add a suffix.


up my marriage and change my body shape.

The suffix Susan chose is “He told me it would be impossible to... Thus the complete setup is

now:







Step Two: Now figure out what question the suffix asks and come up with some obvious

answers.

Suffix question: He told me it would be impossible to do what?

Obvious answers:

1. He told me it would be impossible to lose 40 pounds in two weeks.

2. He told me it would be impossible to make me look like a fashion model.

3. He told me it would be impossible to increase my bust size.

Step Three: Come up with some substitute answers cfor your suffix question.


up my marriage and change my body shape. He told me it would be impossible

to...

Suffix question: He told me it would be impossible to do what?

1. He told me it would be impossible to make me look like a TV.

2. He told me it would be impossible to make me look like a Harley Davidson.

3. He told me it would be impossible to make me look like a bottle of Coors Lite.

Step Four: Now take one of your alternative answers and make it into your punchline.

Susan chose alternative answer #1: He told me it would be impossible to make me look like a TV.

But for her punchline, she made it even more specific. Rather than just saying, “He told me it

would be impossible to make me look like a TV,” Susan actually describes the TV, “He told me it

would be impossible to make me square, 50 inches on the diagonal and come with a remote





control.” The way she describes it also adds more surprise to the joke, thereby increasing the

power of the punch. Here’s the entire joke again:



Punch: Make me square, 50 inches on the diagonal and come with a remote control.

The Open-ended Comedy Questions Template is on the next page.





Open Ended Comedy Questions Template

Step One: Start with a setup and add a suffix.

Setup plus suffix:______________________________________________________

Step Two: Now figure out what question the suffix asks and come up with some obvious

answers.

Suffix question:___________________________________________________

Obvious Answers:

1.________________________________________________________________

2.________________________________________________________________

3.________________________________________________________________

Step Three: Come up with substitute answers to your suffix question.

1.________________________________________________________________

2.________________________________________________________________

3.________________________________________________________________

Step Four: Now take one of your substitute answers and make it into your punchline.

Setup:____________________________________________________________

Substitute Answer:_________________________________________________

Punch:____________________________________________________________





As with all the processes in this workbook, the more you do them, the more automatic they

become until you don’t even need to go through the steps because they start to happen

automatically.

Finding The Absurdity In A Situation:

The What /Then Technique

A lot of good comedy comes from being able to stretch a situation and make it totally

absurd. You can do this using the What Then technique. Basically you take a setup and keep

asking yourself “If this was the case, what then?” Then you take your answers and either ask

more “What Then?” questions or you exaggerate your answers to the “What Then?” questions by

asking “What would be worse/more absurd/idiotic/etc?”questions to help you exaggerate until

you come up with something funny. As I said before, comedy often goes from good to bad or bad

to worse, so when you want to exaggerate something a “What would be worse/more absurd/

idiotic/etc?” question is often the way to go. Here’s an example of this process.

Step One: Start with a joke or setup.

Setup: Air Canada has a new discount carrier.

Punch: To save money, the planes don’t actually leave the ground.

Note to non-Canadians: Air Canada is Canada’s national airline and everyone hates it because

the service is so bad.





Step Three: Now take your punch and ask a What Then question.



Q: If the planes don’t leave the ground, what then?

A: The passengers just sit there.

Q: What would be even more idiotic?

P: If the passengers just sat there and went “Brim, brmmm, brmmm.”

This strikes me as a good punch, so I tack it onto my already existing setup and punch:



New Punch: But you do get to sit in the seats and go, “Brim, brmmm, brmmm.”

Step Four: I feel that I can keep milking this scenario, so I go back to my earlier premise and

ask the same What Then question from before:

Q: If the planes don’t leave the ground, what then?

A: They drive the plane instead of flying it.

Q: What would be even more idiotic?

A: Seeing a 747 lumbering down the Trans-Canada Highway.





I like this, so I add it as another punch.



Punch #2: But you do get to sit in the seats and go, “Brmmm, brmmm, brmmm.”

New Punch: I can just picture this 747 lumbering down the Trans-Canada Highway.

And here are more punches I came up with, along with the What then? and What would be

worse/more absurd/more idiotic? questions I used to develop them:

Q: If the plane drove down the highway, what then?

A: The safety announcements would be different.

Punch (Act out of safety announcement): “Welcome to Air Canada’s express service from

Ottawa to Vancouver, with an estimated arrival time of one week.”

Q: What could make the situation even worse?

A: If we got caught in traffic.

Punch (Continued act out of safety announcement): “That could double if we get stuck in

traffic.”





Q: If we took a week or more to get to Vancouver, what then?

A: We’d need a lot more meals.

Q: If we needed a lot more meals, what then?

A: We’d have to eat at truck stops.

Punch (Continued act out of safety announcement): We invite you to enjoy our in-flight

food and beverage service that involves deplaning at truck stops three times a day.

Q: What would be even worse than having to eat at truck stops for a week?

P: Having to get out and push to save fuel.

Punch (Continued act out of safety announcement): To save fuel, we ask passengers

seated in economy class to sign up for your turns to get out and push.

You’ll notice in the preceding example, there is no set number of What Then? and What

would be worse/more absurd/more idiotic etc? questions to ask after each setup or punch. The

idea is that you keep asking them until you get something that works, then go on to the next

punch.





Joke Check List

Here is a way of evaluating a joke to see if it will work. Not every joke will have all these

elements, but it should have some.

• Is the “punch word” of your joke at the very END of your punchline?

• Do you know EXACTLY where you expect the audience to laugh? (If YOU don’t know, they WON’T either)

• Is EVERY single word in your joke necessary? (Eliminate those that aren’t needed - remember your setup should be no longer than about 10 seconds).

• Does your setup have strong EMOTION or ATTITUDE? (If what you are writing about really pisses you off, TELL that to the audience).

• Can you explain to yourself in simple words WHY exactly this joke is funny?

• Have you set up EXPECTATIONS in the setup which you then SHATTER or Twist with your punch-line?

• Has your setup created a visual or verbal PICTURE in the minds of the audience?

• Have you given the audience ALL THE INFO they need to completely understand your joke?

• Does the joke have a SIMPLE, UNCOMPLICATED structure?

• Is this a joke, or is it a STORY?

• Are you trying to make TOO MANY points with this joke?

• Is there a very DISTINCT setup, and a very DISTINCT punch-line?

• Have you allowed for a PAUSE between the setup and the delivery of your punch line?





Act Outs

Here’s another way to add punches to your jokes and to spice up your material in general.

This technique is called an Act Out. Instead of telling the audience about something, you act it

out as though it’s happening right now. Here’s an example:



Act Out: One of them’s like, (act out dysfunctional counselor)

“The problem is this mood stabilizer I’m taking.”

(Act out me) “No the problem is that you’re taking it with a Vodka

chaser.”

The basic idea is that you have a setup, then a punch, and then act out a scene that takes the

joke further. Like any punch, the act out must convey a new piece of information. If you act out

exactly what you’ve told the audience it will be redundant and not funny. Let’s say the act out to

the previous joke was:



Act Out: (As though talking to a group of counselors) “Wow, you guys

sure are angry.”

This act out would convey the same piece of information contained in the punch line, because

we already know the counselors are angry. The first act out tells us something new about the

other counselors. I could’ve just told the audience that piece of information by saying, “The

problem is that they take their mood stabilizers with a Vodka chaser,” but acting it out is funnier

and more immediate.





Three Steps To An Act-Out

Here’s a process that will help you develop your act outs.

Step One: Start with a joke. I’ve used the counselor joke from above:



Step Two: Describe the scenario in the joke thus far, or create one. Since there is no scenario

thus far, I’ll create one.

Scenario: A counselor friend of mine is making excuses for being

dysfunctional.

Step Three: Now create some dialogue to go with your scenario:

Dialogue: (Counselor friend) “The problem is this mood stabilizer I’m

taking.”

Act Out Punch: (me) “No the problem is that you’re taking it with a

Vodka chaser.”

I could have said, “The problem is that you’re taking it with alcohol,” but “Vodka Chaser” is

more specific and thus funnier. Here’s the complete joke again:







Act Out of new scenario: “One of them’s like, (Act out dysfunctional

counselor) “The problem is this mood stabilizer I’m taking.”

Act Out Punch: (Me) “No the problem is that you’re taking it with a

Vodka chaser.”

Like everything in this workbook you may need to go back and forth when using this

technique. If the scenario you chose doesn’t work you can go back to Step Two and change it, or

change the dialogue from Step Three.

Three Steps To An Act Out Example #2

Step One: Start with either a setup or a setup with a punch.

Setup: People often say, “David, you’re brave to do stand-up comedy.”


Punch #2: And I expect better from my clinical supervisors.

Step Two: Describe the scenario in the joke thus far, or create one.

Scenario: I’m in a room counseling my clinical supervisors.


Dialogue: (Me to my supervisor) “But Sir, I want to be taken seriously as a counselor.”

Act Out Punch: He’s like (act out of supervisor) “Then next time a client says, ‘I feel

sexually inadequate, don’t say,‘That’s funny, let’s brainstorm some punchlines.”





You’ll notice both the client’s problem and my response (as acted out by the supervisor are

very specific. I could have had the supervisor say, “Then next time a client has a problem don’t

start telling jokes.” But once again “I feel sexually inadequate” and That’s funny, let’s brainstorm

some punchlines” are far more specific and thus funnier.

Here’s the complete joke again:



Punch #2: And I expect better from my clinical supervisors.

Act Out Punch: He’s like (Supervisor) “Then next time a client says,

‘I feel sexually inadequate,’ don’t say,‘That’s funny, let’s brainstorm some punchlines.”





Three Steps To An Act Out Template

Here is a template you can photocopy and use for the Six Steps To An Act Out technique.

Step One: Start with a joke.

Setup:____________________________________________________________

Punch:________________________________________________

Step Two: Describe the scenario in the joke thus far, or create one:

Scenario:__________________________________________________________


Dialogue: _________________________________________________________





One Of These Things Doesn’t Belong

In the One Of These Things Doesn’t Belong Technique you develop a joke by combining

two things that don’t belong together. In his book The Comic Toolbox, John Vorhaus calls this a

“Clash of Context.” He says it is the forced union of incompatibles, where you take something

from its usual place and stick it where it doesn’t fit. A communist on the board of directors of a

large corporation, a health food fanatic running a MacDonald's, an atheist running a Bible camp

are all clashes of context. For a better idea of what this looks like, let’s study a bit written by my

student Paul Breau.

Setup: My last girlfriend was an elementary school teacher, and that

was strange. My friends in relationships wake up with love notes by their pillow.

Punch: I’d wake up and there’s a report card.

Punch: And I’d have to get it signed by my parents.

Setup: At first I thought it was cute. It would say stuff like “Paul’s an excellent student

with great potential.” But then things started to tank.

Punch: I’d get up and it would say, “Paul needs to focus on the task at hand.”

Punch: Then it gets worse. I wake up and there’s another note that says, “Paul’s progress

has fallen behind that of the other students.”

Punch: It was true, she showed me their report cards.

In his bit, Paul combines the idea of elementary school with sex, two things that definitely do

not belong together! You’ll also notice that the joke continually goes from bad to worse.

Here’s how to use the One Of These Things Doesn’t Belong Technique in your jokes. This is a

joke by my student Sean Rasmussen:





Setup: I felt I should be politically active to, so I joined an environmental

organization. We recycled, re-used, reduced. But it got out of hand, and soon I was

involved in acts of eco-terrorism,

Punch: Like drive-by shootings from public transit.

Here’s how you can get from Sean’s setup to his punch.

Step One: Come up with two things that don’t ordinarily belong

together and make them into a setup.

Thing #1: Environmental awareness

Thing #2: Terrorism



involved in acts of eco-terrorism

Step Two: Now make a list of all the things you can think of that relate to each thing.

Environmental awareness: Compost, taking public transit, biodegradable cleaning

products, hemp clothing, filtered water, solar powered cars, etc.

Terrorism: Drive by shootings, car bombs, booby traps, suicide bombers, ambushes, etc.

Step Three: Now come up with a punch or punches by combining the lists from Step Two.

Ideally you want to generate several answers that will become multiple punchlines.

Punch #1: Drive by shootings from public transit.

Punch #2: Blowing up compost heaps.© 2013, David Granirer, Founder, Stand Up For Mental Health

P: (604) 205-9242 F: (604) 205-9243 [email protected] www.standupformentalhealth.com 45



Punch #3: Blowing up buildings with nitroglycerin that was biodegradable.



involved in acts of eco-terrorism,

Punch: Like drive-by shootings from public transit.

Punch #2: Or blowing up our neighbor’s compost heaps.

Sean came up with the first punchline, I’ve added the second for demonstration purposes.

You’ll notice that the punch I’ve added has a bit more detail than the answers from Step Two. I

think, “neighbor’s compost heaps” is funnier than just “compost heaps” because it’s more

specific.

The template for the One Of These Things Doesn’t Belong Technique is on the next page.





One Of These Things Doesn’t Belong Template

Here is a template you can photocopy and use to practice the One Of These Things Doesn’t

Belong Technique.

Step One: Come up with two things that don’t ordinarily belong together and make them into

a setup:

Thing #1:________________________________

Thing #2:________________________________

Setup:________________________________________________________________

Step Two: Now make a list of all the things you can think of that relate to each thing.

Thing #1:__________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

Thing #2:__________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

Step Three: Now come up with a punch or punches by combining the lists from Step Two.

Punch #1:________________________________________________________

Punch #2:________________________________________________________

Punch #3:________________________________________________________





List of Three

This type of joke is created by making a list of you guessed it, three, in which the last item

stands in contrast to the first two. The first two items are serious and follow logically from your

setup, while the third is unexpected and off the wall. David Anderson, a student of mine does the

following joke:

Setup: Being in a committed relationship is tough. You have to develop effective means of

communication, be sensitive to your partner’s needs,

Punch: And tell your other girlfriends to cool it for a while.

Here’s how to develop your own List Of Three. We’ll start with a complete joke and work

backwards.

Setup: It was tough being in therapy. Each week I had to express my feelings, deal with

emotional pain,

Punch: And toke up before each session.

Step One: Start with a simple setup.

Setup: It was tough being in therapy.

Step Two: Come up with two logical things or reasons that justify your setup.

Reason #1: I had to express my feelings.

Reason #2: I had to deal with emotional pain.





Step Three: Now come up with a third reason or thing that is unexpected. You’ll notice that

the first two things are usually things you are supposed to do or feel in relationship to the setup.

Expressing feelings and dealing with emotional pain are things you’re supposed to do in therapy.

To get your third thing, ask yourself: What sorts of things am I not supposed to do in relationship

to the topic I’m writing about? As a matter of fact, you can exaggerate this question and ask,

“What are the worst things I could do in regards to the topic I’ve chosen? I usually brainstorm

3-5 such reasons.

1. Get drunk after each session.

2. Have all my cheques bounce.

3. Get stoned before each session.

4. Drink during my sessions.

5. Make up stuff to freak my therapist out.

Step Four: Choose one of your things from Step Three and make it into your punch line. I’ve

chosen thing #3.

Setup: It was tough being in therapy. Each week I had to express my feelings, deal with

emotional pain

Punch: And toke up before each session.

You’ll notice that instead of “get stoned,” I’ve substituted “toke up,” because I think “toke

up” sounds funnier.

The template for the List Of Three Technique is on the next page.





List Of Three Template

Here is a template you can photocopy and use to practice the List Of Three Technique.

Step One: Start with a setup.

Setup:____________________________________________________________

Step Two: Come up with two logical reasons that justify your setup.

Reason #1:_______________________________________________________

Reason #2:_______________________________________________________

Step Three: To get your third thing ask yourself, “What are the worst things I could do in

regards to the topic I’ve chosen? Brainstorm 3-5 answers.

1.________________________________________________________________

2.________________________________________________________________

3.________________________________________________________________

4.________________________________________________________________

5.________________________________________________________________

Step Four: Choose one of your things from Step Three and make it into your punch line.

Setup:____________________________________________________________

Punch:____________________________________________________________





Redefinitions

The formula for a redefinition is: Take your topic and pretend to define it in a different

(preferably an extinct or incredibly obscure) language. My student David Morrow wrote this

joke:

Setup: I’m a union longshoreman.

Punch: That’s Latin for semi-retired.

Here are the steps to go through for developing your own Redefinitions.

Step One: Choose a word or phrase you want to redefine.

Word or phrase to redefine: Consensus based leadership.

Step Two: To come up with your redefinition ask, “What are the worst things the word or

phrase I’ve chosen to redefine mean? Now list 3-5 of those things.

1. Solicit input then ignore it.

2. Do everything my way.

3. Doing the opposite of what the group consensus is.

4. Fire everyone who disagrees with me.

5. Not ask for anyone else’s opinions.

Step Three: Now take one of your things from Step Three and make it into your punch. If

you’ve come up with more than one thing you think is funny, use it as another punch. I like thing

#2 and #4.

Setup: Consensus based leadership.





Punch: That’s Latin for “I did it my way.”

Punch #2: It also means “Disagree with me and you’re fired.”

You’ll notice that I had to change the things I picked from Step Three to make them into

decent punches. I think that, “I did it my way” is more immediate than “Do everything my way.”

Similarly, “Disagree with me and you’re fired” has more punch than “Fire anyone who disagrees

with me.” The reason? Both of the new phrases are now written in an active rather than a passive

voice.

The template for Redefinitions is on the next page.





Redefinitions Template

Here is a template you can photocopy and use to practice the Redefinitions Technique.

Step One: Choose a word or phrase you want to redefine.

Word or phrase to redefine:___________________________________________

Step Two: To come up with your redefinition ask, “What are the worst things the word or

phrase I’ve chosen to redefine mean? Now list 3-5 of those things.

1.________________________________________________________________

2.________________________________________________________________

3.________________________________________________________________

4.________________________________________________________________

5.________________________________________________________________

Step Three: Now take one of your things from Step Three and make it into your punch. If

you’ve come up with more than one thing you think is funny, use it as another punch.

Setup:____________________________________________________________

Punch:____________________________________________________________





How To Make Your Stories Funny

Earlier in this workbook I said that you can use stories as long as you put them into a stand-up

comedy format. In the section on Five Steps To Funny I said that one way to do that is to make

each development or each sentence in your story into a setup. Here’s another way to make a story

into stand-up comedy.

Below is a story of something that happened to me. The only problem is that it’s not funny, at

least not the way it actually happened. On the next page I’ll show you how to break it down.

You’ll notice that even though it happened in the past, I’ve written it in present tense. I think this

makes it more immediate.

So I’m in Quizno's ordering a chicken sub. The picture of it on the menu looks great, nice

chunks of chicken on a bun. But when it comes, the chicken isn’t chicken, it’s this processed stuff

that tastes awful. At first I’m not sure what to do, but then I decide to return it. So I go back to

the counter and tell them that this is unacceptable, and that if they’re going to serve processed

chicken it needs to say processed chicken on the menu.

Well the woman behind the counter gets really defensive and says,“This is what they give us

from head office, and most people think it’s just fine, we’ve had very few complaints.” I’m

standing there listening to this and thinking that this is not great customer service. I can feel

myself getting angry and I want to say something rude. They seem to be missing the whole point.

So finally I say,“I’m telling you I’m not satisfied, and if you don’t want to lose my business

you have a chance to do something about this.” So they grudgingly offer to give me another sub

instead. And to top it off they ask me to write out my complaint on the back of a napkin so they

can send it to head office. And I’m thinking that this is not an effective complaint process. I mean

what are they really going to do with that napkin, throw it in the garbage?





To make this story funny, the first thing I need to do is to break it down into setups. To do this

I write or type out the story. I’d suggest using a computer so you can do some cutting and

pasting. Then I look at each paragraph and decide which sentences might work as setups.

I usually try and create at least 2-3 setups per paragraph. There are no right or wrong setups,

just a lot of options. For example, let’s take the first paragraph. To make this easier, I’ve

numbered the sentences.

1) So I’m in Quizno's ordering a chicken sub.

2) The picture of it on the menu looks great, nice chunks of chicken on a bun.

3) But when it comes, the chicken isn’t chicken, it’s this processed stuff that tastes awful.

4) At first I’m not sure what to do, but then I decide to return it.

5) So I go back to the counter and tell them that this is unacceptable, and that if they’re going to

serve processed chicken it needs to say processed chicken on the menu.

There are a few ways to turn a sentence into a setup. As I said earlier, many good setups ask a

question, which the punchline then answers. You can make a sentence into one of these setups by

leaving it incomplete, as in the Open-Ended Comedy Questions Technique. In that case sentence

#2 turned into a setup would be:

Setup: The picture of it on the menu looks great...

The punchline would then tell us why it looked great.

Or you could use other open-ended setup endings like:

• So I’m thinking...

• Then I realized...

• Because...

• So I guess...





• And then...

In that case, sentence #2 as a setup could be:

Setup: The picture of it on the menu looks great, but I’m thinking...

Or it could be:

Setup: The picture of it on the menu looks great, but then I realize...

Using these ideas the first paragraph, when broken down into setups could look like this:

Setup: So I’m in Quizno's ordering a chicken sub. The picture of it on the menu looks

great...

Setup: But when it comes, the chicken isn’t chicken, it’s this processed stuff that tastes

awful, and I’m thinking...

Setup: At first I’m not sure what to do, but then I decide to...

Setup: So I go back to the counter and tell them that this is unacceptable...

Like I said, there is no right or wrong here, just different ways of doing things. This paragraph

could have been broken down lots of different ways.

Once you have your setups you can develop punchlines by using the various techniques I’ve

given you for writing jokes.

You’ll also notice that the finished product is far different from what actually happened.

That’s because what happened usually isn’t funny enough to get laughs without embellishment.

Thus your story may not be literally true, but can still be emotionally true. Here’s what I mean:





Let’s take the first setup.

Setup: So I’m in Quizno's ordering a chicken sub. The picture of it on the menu looks

great,

Punch: Except for the fact that instead of cheese, it had feathers.

Punch: And I also wasn’t too crazy about the beak.

Then you just keep working through the rest of your story, making it into setups and creating

punches.





Bomb Proofing

Not all your jokes are going to go over all the time. As I said earlier, humor is about tension

and release. When you begin a joke, tension rises. The tension is released by the punchline. But

when the punchline doesn’t work, the tension remains. To release it, you need to acknowledge to

the audience that you know, that they know, that you know, the joke didn’t work. If it’s early in

your set or presentation and a joke doesn’t work, you may just want to ignore the joke that didn’t

work and go on. But if it happens a few times you need to acknowledge it to the audience. This

lets them know that you’re OK with the fact a joke didn’t work, so they can relax and not worry

about having to take care of you.

The good thing is that because your audience is uncomfortable when a joke doesn’t work,

they will do almost anything to help you get a laugh and extricate yourself. Thus the lines you

use to acknowledge a failed joke (called recovery lines) don’t even have to be that funny. And

sometimes you’ll get a way bigger laugh with your recovery line than you would if your original

punch had worked. Some comics purposely include jokes they know won’t work so they can use

their recovery lines. Below are some generic recovery lines lots of comics use, or you can make

up your own.

•“What can I say folks, new material, gotta try it out some time.”

•“Well that one really died, fortunately my next gig is at a funeral.”

•“That one was really funny when I wrote it.”

•“Only problem with that joke is that it wasn’t funny.”

•“That joke was designed to get a silent laugh, and it did!”

• “My mom thinks that one is hysterical.”

•“What can I say folks, some of these are just for me.”

•“The last group/audience thought that one was hilarious.”

•“That one takes a while to get. Around 2 a.m., it’s gonna seem so funny, you won’t be able

to sleep.





Structuring Your Set

Now that you’ve got some material, it’s time to structure your set.

Step One: Give each joke a one or two word title. For example, take this joke from the

beginning of this workbook:



The title I use for this joke is “Brave.”

Step Two: Once you’ve given each joke a title, put them in order, starting with your second

funniest and ending with your funniest. But don’t get too hung on this one. The idea is to start

strong and end strong. Also, for your first joke I’d choose something that’s not too offensive or

harsh. Once you’ve won the audience over, you can take them wherever you want, but first win

them over.

Also, don’t get too hung up on having a coherent order. Most jokes, if they’re well written,

can pretty much stand on their own. You don’t need to worry about telling a story (unless you’ve

made one of your stories into stand-up) or having some sort of logical progression. People know

that stand-up is like your own internal monologue, so they expect you to jump around.

Step Three: Once you’ve got your order, make a cheat sheet on a small piece of paper or an

index card, and have it in your back pocket to pull out if you forget where you are in your set.

Remember, comedy is not like doing Shakespeare, so it’s OK to forget your lines. Rather than

trying to cover it up, you can often get a laugh by acknowledging that you’ve forgotten

something (more on that later).





Practicing Your Delivery

Now that you’ve got your set list, it’s time to practice your delivery.

Step One: Start by memorizing the words to your jokes. Imagine that you’re talking to a

friend as you read and commit your jokes to memory.

Step Two: Each joke you’ve written has an attitude, whether implicit or stated. Your attitude

is the emotional energy behind the joke, and it’s emotion that brings the joke to life. On the full

version of your act (not the cheat sheet set list) write one or two words above each joke that

denote the attitude. For the joke on the previous page, my attitude is one of pride for the setup

(I’m proud that people tell me I’m brave to do stand-up), changing to embarrassment for the

punchline (I’m embarrassed that they’re actually referring to my skills as a counselor).

Step Three: Once you’ve memorized the words and are clear on your attitude, practice

delivering your jokes with the appropriate attitude. So if you’re attitude is one of outrage, deliver

your joke in an outraged tone of voice. Also remember that when performing, you need to fill the

room with your presence. This often means increasing your intensity to a level that feels too loud

to you. Some people do this naturally, but others need to consciously practice it.

Important: Once you’ve practiced your material over and over it won’t seem funny any more

because you’ve heard it so many times it’s completely lost any element of surprise. This is

completely normal, so don’t worry. Once you do it in front of an audience and people laugh,

you’ll realize it is funny. Part of stand-up comedy is the art of taking something you’ve written

and rehearsed and making it sound like you just thought of it on the spot – a form of rehearsed

spontaneity.





Talking To your Audience

Talking to your audience is a great way to build rapport. It makes them feel like your material

is something you came up with just for them, rather than something you do regularly. It’s also a

great way to work a dead crowd (more about that later).

Talking to your audiences also creates immediacy, the sense that you are with them now in

this moment. When you depart from your prepared script in this way, you allow others to

momentarily share the spotlight, to have their 15 seconds of glory. This makes your show or

presentation special, because often what people remember most are those moments when they or

other audience members got to contribute something.

Some comics talk to their audiences in a very belittling way, putting them down or making

them look stupid. Personally, I advise against that. I figure that it’s hard enough to get laughs

without going out of your way to alienate the audience. You don’t want them thinking, “I’d better

get out of here before the comic or speaker does that to me.”

I think the best conversations with audience members are borne from a genuine desire to get

to know them. When people sense that you’re interested in them, they generally respond

positively. When I’m talking to someone in my audience, I try to give her a high status role. For

example, if I ask someone what she does and she says, “I’m a stay at home Mom,” rather than

make a sarcastic comment which would place her in a low status position, I’ll say, “Wow, that’s

the hardest job in the world, let’s give her a round of applause.”

Be Prepared!

Successfully talking to your audience involves preparation. You need to know where you’re

going when you ask them questions, or it could go nowhere. Ultimately what you’re trying to do

is have short chat with an audience member, end on a laugh, then get back to your material.





To successfully talk to your audience you need two things:

1. A prepared line of questioning.

2. To have a joke or escape line you’re heading for.

As you get better at this you’ll develop more confidence and be able to trust yourself to come

up with something spontaneous and funny. But it always helps to have some structure because

you need to be able to keep in control of your conversations with the audience. Audiences tend to

get nervous and tighten up if they feel that you’ve lost control. Before you start this process,

decide on a joke you’re heading for. When you talk to an audience member about something like

relationships, the go into some of your relationship jokes, people are amazed, because it sounds

like you made them all up in the moment. Here are the steps:

Step One: Start out by asking the audience a question that will generate a “Yes” response i.e.

“By applause, who here is in a relationship?” Remember, you always want a round of applause,

not a show of hands. A show of hands is just dead air space. Sometimes comics will purposely

ask a question that they know will elicit a “No” response because the resulting awkwardness can

be funny, but at first it’s best to get “Yes” responses because they’re easier to work with.

Step Two: Now have a conversation with a specific audience member, by asking more

questions about the topic you started with in Step One, in this case relationships i.e. “You Sir,

how long have you been in a relationship?” “Are you happy?” “How did you meet?” etc. Each

time the audience member replies, paraphrase his/her answer i.e “So you’ve been together for 3

years.” You do this for two reasons. First, not everyone will have heard the response, and second,

it gives you a moment to think. Hopefully, you’ll be able to have a short back and forth and end

on a laugh, then go to the joke you were heading for.





Step Two A: This is an alternative to Step Two. When you start a conversation with an

audience member, the tension rises. People expect you to get some sort of laugh. If that doesn’t

happen, you need a prepared escape line. Escape lines are similar to recovery lines. They release

the tension by acknowledging that the conversation you’re having isn’t getting any laughs. Here

are some escape lines you can use:

• Well this is going nowhere.

• Hmm, I thought this was going to be funny.

• I’m ad-libbing a joke here, does anyone have the punch line?

Calling for a round of applause is also a good way to get out of a sticky situation. You can say

something like, “Hey thanks for talking to me. Let’s give Joe a big hand.” After the escape line

or round of applause you can go to the joke you were intending on heading for.

What If The Person I’m Talking To Gets A Big Laugh?

Occasionally when you’re talking to an audience member she will say something funny that

gets a big laugh. If this happens, acknowledge it. Say something like “That was funny, let’s give

Jane a big hand.” You don’t always need to be the funny one, and audiences usually love it when

one of their own gets a laugh.

When Should I Talk To My Audience?

Good times to talk to your audience are:

• At the beginning of a show or presentation. This is a good way to create rapport.





• If you feel the energy in the room has dropped. At these points it helps to put aside your

prepared material and build up some energy by talking to people directly.

• If the audience is distracted or people are talking. Talking directly to the “talkers”

interferes with what they’re saying to each other, and also lets them know that you’re

watching them, all in a fun way.

Saver Lines

As a presenter or a comic, one thing you can count on is things going wrong. The best way to

deal with them is to have a prepared ad-lib or joke to save the situation. Here are some situations

along with possible saver lines.

Problem: People in the audience are talking and not listening to you.

“Hey folks, this isn’t TV, I can hear you.”

Problem: You forget part of your presentation or joke.

Point to back of room. “Hey who’s that guy back there?” As everyone looks, make an

obvious show of pulling out your notes and looking at them.

“I’ve just forgotten what the heck I’m talking about. Can someone remind me?” (Usually

people are glad to oblige)

Problem: You stumble or trip.

“I also do magic tricks.”

“I planned that.”

“I’ll now take questions from the floor.”

Problem: Someone’s pager or cell phone goes off.





“I think that’s for me.” (At this point I’ll sometimes take the phone and talk to whoever is

on the other end.)

“Tell them I’ll have mine with mushrooms, anchovies and extra cheese.”

Problem: Someone insults you or uses crude language. “My ex husband/wife feels

exactly the same.”

Problem: Overly talkative audience member.

"Normally I work alone."

Problem: A question you can’t or don’t want to answer.

“Someone asked me that last week, and I’m going to dodge it just like I did then.”

“That’s actually a two-part question. Unfortunately, I can’t answer either part.”

(The above example applies only to presenters. After your comeback line, offer to get back to the

questioner or rephrase the question so it’s something you can answer.)

Miscellaneous Funny Stuff

• “They wanted to get a dynamic, charismatic speaker/comic. He/she wasn’t available, so they

got me.”

• “Half of everything I’ve told you is wrong. Unfortunately, I don’t know which half.”

• “I’m going to speak my mind because I have nothing to lose.”

• “An expert is someone who can take what you already know and make it sound confusing.”

• “Last time I buy my jokes from ACME (or substitute your client’s competitor’s name).”





Saver Exercise

Think of 3 situations where things could go wrong. Come up with a saver line for each, or use

one of the ones from the preceding pages.

Situation #1:_____________________________________________________________

Saver Line:______________________________________________________________

Situation #2:_____________________________________________________________

Saver Line:______________________________________________________________

Situation #3:_____________________________________________________________

Saver Line:______________________________________________________________





Dealing With Difficult Audiences

Difficult audiences fall into three major categories:

1. Dead/Indifferent/Tentative

Whether you’re a comic or a speaker, you’ll find that sometimes your jokes just rock, whereas

other times the response is far less. I’ve seen that happen to every comic I know. And it’s always

confusing when the joke that got an applause break last night only gets a titter. All I can say is

that there are some shows or presentations that you just have to get through.

2. Distracted/Inattentive

The sad truth is that some audiences just aren’t interested in what you have to say or don’t

want to be there in the first place. I’ve done shows at pubs where they leave the big screen TV

while you’re performing and the audience ignores you and talks right through your set. This is

why I won’t do pubs and bars anymore. I’ve also given presentations at events where people

don’t want to be there. I did one group of teachers on a Friday afternoon before a long weekend.

All they wanted to do was leave. Needless to say, I don’t do presentations for teachers during that

time slot anymore.

3. Hostile

Most speakers and comics I know have had to play very few hostile audiences. I once did

some humor in the workplace presentations at a lumber mill where there was a lot of tension

between the workers and management. I was seen as being brought in by management. Quite

frankly, the workers hated me. After the second presentation (I had to do five in total), I told the





manager who’d booked me that there was no point trying to do anything with content, and that

probably the only way to reach this audience was to swear my head off and do lots of filthy

material. Fortunately, my contact agreed, so for the remaining presentations I told all the dirty,

filthy jokes I could think of. The third group loved it, the fourth was still hostile (though less so

than the first two) and the last group was merely inattentive.

Here are some strategies for dealing with difficult crowds. You’ll notice that in any situation,

there is no one strategy, and that you need to use a combination.

For a dead/indifferent/tentative audience:

1. Bring your energy level down. Don’t let your energy get as low as the audience’s, but do

make sure that you’re not overpowering them (which is easy to do with a dead/indifferent/

tentative crowd).

2. I do a lot of abandoning my material and talking to the audience in a very conversational

tone. I remember one show when I had to really work the audience for about 20 minutes until

they started to respond. After that the rest of the show was great. Conversely, I’ve done that with

other dead/indifferent/tentative audiences and gotten very little.

3. I use my recovery material, although not to the point where I’m using it after each joke.

4. Stick to your tried and true material. This is not a place to work in new bits.

For a distracted/inattentive audience:





1. Do lots of talking to them. Get in their face. You don’t want to insult them, but you also

need to let them know that you’re right on top of things.

2. Keep your energy level up. If it falls too much you’ll be toast.

3. You may also want to end early, or acknowledge to the audience

that you know they don’t want to be there, preferably in a humorous way.

4. Stick to your tried and true material. This too is not a place to work in new bits.

For a hostile audience:

1. Good luck. You’re in for some tough sailing. If you’re being insulted use purposeful

misunderstandings, references to other situations, and agreements. More about those later.

2. Keep your Keep your energy level up. If it falls too much you’ll be toast.

3. If the audience is really bad, then just end early. No one has the right to be abusive to you.

Two more things to remember:

1. If the audience is difficult, it’s not your fault.

2. Try and have fun even if you’re dying. On one really bad presentation in front of a dead/

indifferent/tentative audience I just said “Wow, I’m gonna go home and drink heavily once this is

over,” and they actually laughed, and so did I! They also thought it was funny when I said,

“Thanks God you folks have already given my my cheque, ‘cause I’d hate to ask for it after





this!” I got through by exaggerating how badly I was feeling about bombing, saying things like

“Man, this is gonna take years of therapy.” It was actually kind of fun, though not something I’d

want to do regularly!

Dealing With Hecklers

One of the biggest fears many presenters and comics, especially beginning ones have, is

hecklers. Remember that hecklers usually do not speak for the entire audience. As a matter of

fact, most people just wish the heckler would shut up so you can get on with your presentation or

show.

In order to deal with hecklers it’s important to understand their psychology. Basically, hecklers

want attention, but due to their pathetic lack of social skills and also to the fact they’re often

drunk, behaving like assholes is how they get it. Hecklers are also motivated by the need for

power and control. Your job when dealing with these morons is to:

• Keep control of the situation.

• Give them just enough attention to win them over or get them to shut up.

If you appear to be rattled by a heckler, you’ve reinforced their behavior, and their attempt to

get power over you. So how do you stay in control? Strategy and preparation! Here’s the

strategy:

• Start by trying to make friends with the heckler. They want to be liked just like

everyone else. When they feel included, it often defuses their need to act out.

• If they keep acting out, use your heckler lines.





The basic idea is to start gently and work up to more aggressive interventions. If you’re too

hard on a heckler, the audience will be turned off. Remember, you have a big advantage - you

have the mic!

Purposeful Misunderstandings

One way of making friends with a heckler and getting a laugh is to purposefully

misunderstand what they’re saying and ascribe a positive intent to it.

Heckler: “You suck!”

Purposeful misunderstanding: He wants a date.

Response: “Libra, and yours?”

References To Other Situations

Another option is to ignore what the heckler is actually saying (most people can’t hear the

words anyhow) and to make a reference to another situation. For example:


Reference: Talk show

Response: “Thanks for that important message from our sponsor.”





Agreements

Sometimes you can save yourself a lot of grief by just agreeing with the heckler.


Response: “My ex-wife would certainly agree.”

Heckler Exercise

Write down 3 things a heckler might say, and come up with a response using a

Purposeful Misunderstanding, a Reference to Another Situation, an Agreement or

something else reasonably friendly.

1. Heckler:________________________________________________________

Response:_________________________________________________________

2. Heckler:________________________________________________________

Response:_________________________________________________________

3. Heckler:________________________________________________________

Response:_________________________________________________________





Heckler Lines

If you’ve tried to make friends with a heckler and he/she is still acting out, it’s time

to use your heckler lines. At this point, it’s OK to go after them because you’ve got the audience

on your side. Some generic heckler lines include:

• “Sir, there’s a big picture here, I have the mic and you don’t.”

• “I don’t come to your job and criticize your work.”

• “By applause, who here wants this person to shut up?”

• “You must be practicing for the Jerry Springer Show.”

• “Yes folks, that’s next weeks speaker. His subject is social skills.”

• “Yes, I remember the first time I got drunk.”

Heckler Lines Exercise

It really helps to have your own heckler lines. Come up with five of your own and write them

down here.

1.________________________________________________________________

2.________________________________________________________________

3.________________________________________________________________

4.________________________________________________________________

5.________________________________________________________________





The Stand Up For Mental Health Comedy Workbook by David ...

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