The Solution News

The Solution NewsSince 1991

May/June 2009 Happy, Joyous and Always Free!!

Recovery Growth Renewal

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Page 4 - Dave’s Page: Passing It OnPage 5 - Al-Anon Helps AlcoholicsPage 6 - Veterans CourtsPage 7 - Hotlines and HelplinesPage 8 - Remembering LarryPage 9 - The Watershed PagePage 10 & 11 - EventsPage 12 - Energy Drinks and AlcoholPage 14 - SnowbrietyPage 15 - Penelope LovePage 16 - Rebecca B.: Mr. BiggsPage 17 - Reverend Leo on Spirituality Page 18 - Florida House Experience

Page 20 - Brain Teasers & HoroscopePage 23 - For Your InspirationPage 24 - Inside Look At Drug CourtPage 26 - The Wisdom of Ben FranklinPage 27 - The Wit of Mark TwainPage 28 - Father Martin Leaves a LegacyPage 30 - Taking Care of Your Inner ChildPage 31 - Mel B: The One Minute SolutionPage 32 - Rule 62 PagePage 33 - Calling In Sick?Page 34 - Chef Lester: Praise & BlamePage 36 - Crime Doesn’t PayPage 38 - Parting Shots & Word Search

The Solution News Contents3

In 1977 I was beginning my life in sobriety,I had hit my bottom, attended my first meetingjoined a home group and gotten a sponsor. Iheard some talk at a meeting that a man namedFather Martin was doing a talk at an auditoriumin Manchester, New Hampshire. Somebodygave me a ticket and I got a ride with some folksin my group to go see him. He gave a greatinspirational, educational and humorous talk.Even though there were about five hundred peo-ple in the hall that night Father Martin had theability to make everyone feel as if he were talk-ing directly to them. After the talk he stayed togreet everyone who wanted to talk to him. Hispersonal warmth was tangible as was his humil-ity. His eyes sparkled as he took a minute toencourage me to stay sober. His encouragementwas an important part of my early sobriety.

Over twenty years later I had the opportuni-ty to spend some time with Father Martin whenhe came to Delray to be the speaker for a

Crossroads Club fund raiser. He very humblyaccepted my thanks for being instrumental inmy sobriety. Father Martin literally had thisinfluence on thousands of people in his lifetimeof service to recovering people.

In 2001 I moved into a mobile home park inBoynton Beach. There were about ten of us inrecovery with mobile homes in the park. Twodoors down from me lived a guy named LarryDrummond. We had become friends in the pro-gram and attended the same meeting for sometime. As we got to know each other in the park Ilearned that this bridge tending biker was a com-puter genius and that he had actually been a soft-ware code writer at IBM. At that time I wasstruggling to keep The Solution News a viablepublication. I didn’t have a lot of money and Iwas working with an old computer. Over thenext couple of years Larry literally kept me inbusiness by constantly rebuilding and enhancingmy hardware and software. He never took anickel for his services and because of his kind-ness I was able to keep the presses running.

Both Father Martin and Larry Drummond areeulogized in this issue as they both recentlywent on to the “Big Meeting”. One was a worldfamous personality and the other a regular guyjust getting by but both understood the impor-tance of giving away what they were so freelygiven. They gave their hope, love and service byusing the wonderful quality of human kindness.Both will be sorely missed by those whose livesthey touched but both are still with us as wereturn their gift to others yet to come.

Many years ago as I was searching for a solu-tion to my own hopeless condition. I found thephone number of a man I had met in a courtordered substance abuse group therapy session.The man’s name was Tom C. and when I calledfor help he took me to my first meeting. He had

a wife and six kids and was living in a coldwater apartment in Nashua, New Hampshire. Hehad made many attempts at sobriety but hadnever been real successful. He answered thephone, picked me up and took me to my firstmeeting. We travelled the “road of happy des-tiny” together for about four and a half years.Tom was instrumental in my recovery but wasnot able to hold on to his own. We drifted apartand I relocated to Florida.

Last week I got a phone call and did not rec-ognize the area code. I was curious so Ianswered it and was surprised to hear my oldfriends voice at the other end. We talked aboutthe old times. Tom was apologetic and felt as ifhis relapse was in some way harmful to mysobriety. I was surprised because all these yearsI have felt that Tom was instrumental in savingmy life. It was truly a privilege to be able tothank him after all these years for his kindness.

In studying and learning about my disease forover three decades I have come to the conclu-sion that we are not dying from alcohol anddrugs but instead from our self-centeredness.Our founders understood for the first time thatthe solution was to get outside of ourselves andhelp others. The truly successful people inrecovery understand this and manifest it by sim-ple acts of kindness to those seeking help.

Our recovery begins when we are touchedheart to heart by another person who is the liv-ing channel through which God works. Ourgood works not only touch and change lives buthelp us save our own. Love and service to oth-ers is the key. Father Martin, Larry and Tom allunderstood and practiced this principle. As aresult I have been blessed with a new life secondto none and given the wonderful opportunity tokeep the healing energy flowing by as BillWilson often said by “Passing It On”.

Passing It OnDave’s

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R.J. has been clean and sober and an activemember of Alcoholics Anonymous for 20 years.He lives the Twelve Step program each day, oneday at a time. He attends AA meetings faithful-ly, reads the literature, meditates, and asks hisHigher Power for guidance. He has told hisstory many times and listened with lovingacceptance to the stories of oth-ers, as AA members are encour-aged to do. He thought nothingabout addiction could surprisehim at this point in his life andrecovery.

Then he discovered his 20-yearold son had a drug and alcoholproblem. "I felt so stupid," hesaid. "I know this stuff, and itnever entered my mind that myson was using. He was the goodboy, the one who got straightA's. He knows I'm a recoveringalcoholic and that his mother(my ex-wife) is a practicing one.I thought knowing about uswould keep him sober. But he got to a pointwhere he seemed paralyzed; he couldn't stay ontrack. One day I said, sort of in passing, ‘Youact like you're on drugs.' He said, ‘I am.' WhenI asked what kind and he said he'd tried ‘justabout everything,' I was stunned. I didn't knowwhat to do."

Not knowing what to do, R.J. did nothing thenight of his son's revelation except listen. "I toldhim I wouldn't preach or yell, but I asked him ifI could tell him when I heard him giving me the‘standard' addict's lines like, ‘I have it undercontrol.' He said I could, and we talked until 4a.m."

Next, R.J. sought help from others. His firstimpulse was to issue an edict telling his son notto come around until he got straight, but a coun-selor at work cautioned that things could getworse if his son felt abandoned, with no safeplaces or safe people to turn to. "She suggestedI establish clear rules so he wouldn't come here

high or use here, but let him know that I lovehim and I'd do whatever it takes to help himwhen he's ready."

When a long-time friend (also a recoveringalcoholic) suggested going to Al-Anon, R.J.said he was "blown away" by the idea. Likemany recovering alcoholics, he had alwaysviewed Al-Anon as a Twelve Step mutual-helpgroup for "them"--the family and friends of thealcoholic--and AA as the Twelve Step group for"us"--the alcoholics who affected their lives.

R.J. and his friend went to an Al-Anon meetingwhere they were the only men. He confessed

that he was very nervous at first but said thefamiliar Twelve-Step meeting structure easedhis anxiety. "Then I said, ‘I'm an alcoholic--thereason you're here--but now I need help.' Itbroke the ice, and they welcomed us with somuch warmth and generosity."

Because it is not unusual to have morethan one problem drinker in a family, itmakes sense that recovering alcoholicscan also be affected by another's alcoholor drug use, and that they could benefitfrom the fellowship and support of Al-Anon. Except for one word in StepTwelve where Al-Anon has substitutedthe word "others" for AA's word "alco-holics," the Steps of the two groups areidentical.

"At AA we learn that we're powerlessover alcohol. At Al-Anon you discoverthat you're powerless over others,"explained R.J. He thought the Al-Anonmembers he met also gained by meeting

two recovering alcoholics who embrace thesame Twelve Step philosophy they do.

R.J. said it was a profound experience to viewaddiction "from the other side of the fence" atAl-Anon. "It struck such a chord when a womanthere told me I've got my story, but my son isstill writing his. I can tell him about my pathand show him a path exists, but I can't walk itfor him."

Al-Anon meetings are held in 115 countries,and there are over 24,000 Al-Anon groupsworldwide. For more information, call 888-4AL-ANON or visit http://www.al-anon.ala-teen.org/

ADVANCED RECOVERY CENTER1300 Park of Commerce, Delray Beach, FL 33435

Phone: 561-274-7417 Fax: 561-274-8715TOLL FREE: 1-877-ARC-HOPE

“Advanced extended care for the complicated and treatment-resistant addict.”TO TAKE A VIRTUAL TOUR GO TO: www.arc-hope.net

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"At AA we learn that we're power-less over alcohol. At Al-Anon youdiscover that you're powerless overothers," explained R.J. He thoughtthe Al-Anon members he met alsogained by meeting two recoveringalcoholics who embrace the sameTwelve Step philosophy they do.”

Recovering Alcoholics Can Benefit From Al-Anon

Veterans in this country are over representedwhen it comes to substance abuse, driving underthe influence, unemployment, homelessness,post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and otherpsychological problems. Tragically, studies alsoshow that veterans are twice as likely as thegeneral population to commit suicide.

When Judge Robert Russell and his staff inBuffalo, N.Y., noted 300 veterans comingthrough their court system last year, they knewsomething was going on. They suspected theillegal behaviors might be linked to mentalhealth problems related to the veterans' militaryexperiences. "We realized that one in fivereturning veterans experience symptoms relatedto PTSD, major depression and traumatic braininjuries," Russell said in an interview onNational Public Radio (NPR). "We wanted to beparticipatory rather than reactionary."

For Russell, participation meant establishinga veterans' treatment court, fashioned after themore than 2,000 drug courts and about 200mental health courts in the United States. Incontrast to traditional courts where courtinvolvement generally ends when an offender issentenced if found guilty, these alternativecourts offer qualified participants an opportuni-ty to participate in court-supervised, communi-ty-based treatment in lieu of typical criminalsanctions.

Studies on drug courts have found a lowerpost-program criminal recidivism rate and a big-ger cost savings than traditional court approach-es. In the best of these courts, all concerned(judges, prosecutors, defense attorneys, lawenforcement, probation officers, substanceabuse and mental health treatment specialists,vocational experts, community leaders, andfamilies) work together toward a holistic out-come that focuses on recovery rather than incar-ceration.

Defendants in Russell's veterans' court have

generally committed non-violent offenses suchas driving while intoxicated, drug possession ortheft, although he has also dealt with domesticviolence or bar fight cases. Veterans who partic-ipate must stay clean and sober, get mental

health or addiction counseling, find jobs, andget their lives back on track. The court meetswith the defendants weekly at first and thenmonthly, usually for a year or more. If partici-pants make enough progress, their charges arereduced or their cases are dismissed. If they failto comply, they risk facing their original crimi-nal charges and could be sentenced to jail time.

One integral component in Russell's court isthe teaming of each veteran offender with a vol-unteer veteran mentor who adds additional sup-port and encourages the defendant to make allmeetings and follow his or her treatment plan.

The concept of a veterans' court makes goodsense to Don Elverd, a Hazelden psychologistand Vietnam combat vet who works extensivelywith troubled vets. "Our soldiers train and trainand train to operate on missions, but does any-one train them to go back to civilian life whenthey're discharged? It takes two to three years--

sometimes more--for veterans to settle downand shake the things they've experienced out oftheir heads," he said.

Elverd said the transition from military tocivilian life is difficult and that veterans oftenisolate themselves or turn to alcohol or otherdrugs to try to cope with what they experiencedas soldiers. He said that while we can see sub-stance abuse, domestic problems, anxiety disor-ders, depression, or problems with the law, avet's primary problem--PTSD--can be harder todetect.

Elverd sees the value of vets supporting vetsand urges troubled soldiers to talk with othersoldiers as they do in Buffalo's veterans' court.Vietnam vets who are familiar with PTSD andrelated problems have proven to be a valuableresource for Iraq vets.

Our vets are in trouble, yet a 2007 Pentagontask force warned that the military health caresystem is overburdened and lacks sufficientresources to meet the needs of troops sufferingfrom PTSD and other psychological problems.VA hospitals and clinics were often found to beunderstaffed and lacking properly trained work-ers to provide appropriate screening for mentalhealth problems, putting vets at increased risk ofsuicide.

Vets courts help fill the gap in services, as doprograms like Vets4Vets, the Soldiers Project,Give an Hour (where mental health profession-als provide free counseling to veterans and theirfamilies), or the new VA suicide hotline (1-800-273-TALK) that received 55,000 calls in its firstyear and averted 1,221 veteran suicides.

As Russell said in the NPR interview, "Manyvets have a warrior mentality and think gettinghelp is weak. We are working to change that par-adigm and try to convince them that it takes thestrength of a warrior to ask for help."{Articles on Page 5,6 and 12 from HaxeldenAlive & Free at www.hezelden.org}

Veterans' Court Follows the Lead of Drug Courts6

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AA BROWARD COUNTY 954-462-0265AA FLORIDA KEYS 305-296-8654AA HOTLINE, North Palm Beach 561-655-5700AA HOTLINE, South Palm Beach 561-276-4581AA HOTLINE Broward 954-462-0265

954-462-7202AA MIAMI DADE 305-371-7784ABUSE REGISTRY 800-962-2873ADD PARENTS SUPPORT 954-473-8644AL ANON HOTLINE, Palm Beach 561-278-3481AL ANON HOTLINE, Broward 954-491-1915AL-ANON/AL-ATEEN 8884ALANONALIEN ABDUCTION SUPPORT GROUP 954-698-6926ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION 954-726-0002ALZHEIMER’S COMMUNITY CARE 561-278-6649AT RISK YOUTH PROGRAM 727-726-8829BIG BROTHERS & SISTERS 561-966-4120CAPITOL CITY YOUTH SERVICES 850-576-6000CATHOLIC DIOCESE OF ORLANDO 407-658-1818CDC NATIONAL AIDS HOTLINE 800-342-2437CHILD ABUSE HOTLINE 800-4ACHILDCOCAINE ANONYMOUS 954-779-7272 CODEPENDENTS ABNONYMOUS 800-254-1333 CONSUMER HOTLINE 800-848-3792COSA (co-dependents of sex addicts) 763-537-6904COUNCIL ON COMPULSIVE GAMBLING 800-426-7711CRIMESTOPPERS 800-458-TIPSCRIME LINE 800-423TIPSDASH (Divorced and Separated Help) 561-451-2312DEBTOR’S ANONYMOUS 954.925.4068DEPRESSION & BIPOLAR SUPPORT 813-878-2906DEPRESSION AND MANIC DEPRESSION 954-746-2055DEPRESSION - OVER 55 954-746-2055FAMILY CAREGIVER PROGRAM 305-292-8445FLA. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 800-500-1119FLORIDA BAR LAWYER’S REFERRAL 800-342-8011FLORIDA HIV/AIDS HOTLINE 800-FLA-AIDSFLORIDA INJURY HELPLINE 800-510-5553FLORIDA INTERGROUP AA 407-276-4581

FUTURE MEN-TEEN BOYS HELP 417-546-4171FLORIDA PET GREIF SUPPORT 352-392-4700GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS 800-891-1740HEPATITIS-B HOTLINE 800-891-0707

HEPATITIS HOTLINE 800-545-2437HIV/AIDS HOTLINE 800-352-2437HOSPICE 954-467-7423HOSPICE/HOMECARE BY THE SEA 800-3923189JEWISH FAMILY& CHILD SERV 561-684-8443LAWYER ASSISTANCE 800-282-8981RECOVERY, INC 561-642-1722LUPUS FOUNDATION OF S. FLORIDA 561-279-8606MARIJUANA ANON. 800-766-6779MIAMI HELPLINES 305-358-4357

MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS FOUNDATION 800-441-7055

NTNL. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 800-799-SAFENAR-ANON, Broward 954-584-6578

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Palm Beach 561-848-6262NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS, Broward 954-476-9297NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS gold coast 954-476-9297

NAT. CTR. ELDERLY ABUSE 800-96-ABUSE

NATIONAL RUNAWAYSWITCHBOARD 800-RUNAWAY

NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE 800-SUICIDEOBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER 954-746-2055

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS, Palm Beach 800-273-1696OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS, Broward 954-476-9297

PARENT HELPLINE 800-FLALOVE

PALM BEACH COUNTY CRISIS LINE 561-547-1000PLANNED PARENTHOOD 954-561-1905RECOVERIES ANONYMOUS, 561-452-0533 954-825-7218STEP FAMILY ASSOC OF AMERICA 800-735-0329SEX & LOVE ADDICTS ANONYMOUS 561-478-5128

TEEN LINE 800-852-8336

TOURETTE SYNDROME HELP 321-783-3248

The Solution News2014 South Federal Highway, Suite B-102, Boynton Beach, FL 33435

Phone: 1-561-789-8850, email: [email protected]: solutionnews.org

The Solution is not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous or any other 12 Step Program although our content isdirected towards those who have found the 12 Step philosophy to be a significant factor in their lives. The Solutionis published by Florida non-profit corporation Sobersolution, Inc. six times a year for people actively working ontheir physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being. We are committed through articles and advertising toprovide a broad spectrum of recovery, renewal and growth information. The opinions and facts are those of thewriters and contributors. We seek to attract advertisers who represent their products and services with integritybut we urge readers to be wise consumers.

Hotlines and Helplines

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Lawrence DrummondA Very Special Contributor to The Solution News

January 22, 1949 to March 14, 2009 (1991-2009)

{I had the privilege of being Larry’s friend. Wemet at Central House and were neighbors in atrailer park in Boynton for several years. Larrywas singly responsible for keeping the SolutionNews in business during a period of chroniccomputer problems. Larry was available andgave freely of his time and expertise to keep the“presses rolling” at The Solution News. Larryhad a wry and clever sense of humor a sparklein his eyes as he made you laugh. He wasextremely intelligent but never condescending.As a friend he had no peer he was always therefor you. We will all miss this great guy whogave so much to so many. The following is froma celebration of Larry’s life on the ThirdTradition’s web site at www.3tmf.com.} Dave F.

Larry “graduated” the AA Program Saturday,the 14th of March. He was a true brother andfriend to many people in the recovery basedmotorcycle culture and around the rooms ofAA. His favorite meeting was a 6 AM meetingin Delray/Boynton, where he had many special

friends. His brother Steven Drummond, his sis-ter Vickie, 2 nephews and 1 niece survive him.

He is and always will be a member of The ThirdTradition Motorcycle Fellowship, although fora long period his heart belonged to the firstclean and sober motorcycle club he belongedto. The colors of that club were offered to himto be cremated with him, but he stated on hisdeathbed that “No, I'm Third Tradition forev-er”. The strength he exhibited in the hospital,knowing that he would not be returning hometo see his cats was a special gift, one that hehoped everyone would get when they needed itmost. At one point during his time at the hospi-tal, he even came out of a deep sleep to 12 stepa faltering brother. He was at peace with hishigher power and himself, to the point of sayinghow wonderful it was that he could see every-one that came to visit him.

To our brother, Love, Hope, and see you againon the great highway in the sky.

Medical Insurance SpecialistWe are seeking an experienced Insurance Specialist for ourAdmissions Department located in Delray Beach. The InsuranceSpecialist is responsible for verifying the coverage of prospectiveand current patients of The Watershed. He or she is also responsiblefor verifying the current employment status of prospective and cur-rent patients. He or she will undertake and complete in a timely man-ner additional assignments as issued by supervisory personnel.Requirements: Undergraduate degree from an accredited college oruniversity. Professional experience may substitute for degreerequirement. A minimum of one year of professional experiencewithin a hospital/inpatient setting in admissions office. Workingknowledge of insurer eligibility systems for various healthcare insur-ance carriers. Ability to verify coverage requirements, exclusions,and limitations of prospective and current patients.Full-time M-F 8a-4p (Overtime may be required)

CALL BACK REPRESENTATIVESWe are seeking dedicated service oriented people with excellent com-munication skills to become members of our team. Call back rep’swork in collaboration with our Admission Coordinators in an effort toadmit new patients into our treatment facilities. Our goal is to reachout to those who may have avoided treatment in the past, are beingconfronted with all the struggles faced as a result of active addictionand work to assist them in gaining treatment services.Work hours cur-rently are: Mon.- Fri. 8am to 5pm at our office in Delray Beach. A yearor more of 12-step recovery experience is very beneficial! HighSchool diploma or equivalent is preferred. Prior call center or healthcare experience is a plus. The Watershed is a Drug Free Workplace &Equal Opportunity Employer.

ALUMNI COORDINATORSThe Watershed’s newest department is that of the Alumni coordina-tors! Coordinators main focus is in making contact with ALL ofWatersheds alumni dating back to it’s doors opening in 1998! Throughthis effort any alumni who may have encountered relapse and needshelp can be given a means to get back into their recovery and thosewho are maintaining recovery can be orientated to our current pro-gram which offers a variety of services, activities and opportunities toour alumni & their families.Work hours currently are: Mon.-Fri. 10amto 6pm at our office in Delray Beach. Six months or more of active12-step recovery is needed and being an alumnus of The Watershed ispreferred. Having basic computer & phone skills is a plus.

For more information, please visit: www.thewatershed.com or call toll free 866-577-4766. To apply, please go to: ww.thewatershed.jobs OR stop by our corporate office located at:

200 Congress Park Drive, Delray Beach, FL *Suite 214

Calling All Alumni!Hello Watershed Alumni!!! Our Alumni fellowship is TRULY growing in numbers!! We currently have over 2,000 registered alumni both here andaround the country! We are currently emailing over 3,000 alumni and family members on a regular basis and our new Family Outreach Program israpidly approaching 1,100 members!! Just over 2 months ago we introduced our new Watershed Alumni Web site and currently have 150 registeredmembers. We hope in time to have all of our alumni involved. If you have not yet registered, please go to www.watershedalumni.com and followthe registration link! In this community you will be able to connect with other alumni via the Forums and share through the Blogs. You will alsohave access to both previous Alumni Newsletters, as well as our monthly newsletter that will begin in the month of May. We have also added a photogallery, where you can look at photos from all of our past Alumni Events! You will be able to find information that will be helpful to you and keepup with what is going on and what is coming up for alumni. We will also be posting monthly anniversaries being celebrated on a monthly basis!When you register you will see where you can mark if you want to be a part of The Life Saver's Club. This is a new program that is for ALL alum-ni, family and even those not previously involved with The Watershed…that are interested in helping those in need of treatment services. You willbe able to read all about The Life Saver's Club and it’s 3 levels of involvement. You will be mailed a one of a kind Life Saver's T-shirt JUST forjoining! We hope to hear from you soon! If you are a LOCAL alumnus or even an out of state alumni who wants to speak in front of the patients:We have the Alumni Speaker Meetings EVERY SATURDAY from 9:30am to 11:30am at BOTH the BOCA and BOYNTON facilities. You MUSThave 90 days clean and sober to speak. For alumni with LESS THAN 90 DAYS, we have ALUMNI SUPPORT and ALUMNI MENTORING meet-ings at THE WATERSHED APARTMENTS from 9:30 to 11:30am under the tent by the volleyball court. ALL ALUMNI with less than 90 daysshould attend. For directions or further information or questions, contact Rebecca Balko at the contact information listed below. Last but not least…ifyou are an alumnus and have in interest in working in the field of addiction recovery and/or in our Alumni Department, The Watershed wants tohear from you! If you are interested in seeking employment you can either contact Rebecca Balko or go directly to our web site at www.thewater-shed.com and go to Human Resources to place an "on line" application. We look forward to hearing from you! You can contact Rebecca Balko at:[email protected] (or write) 200 Congress Park Dr. Suite 101 Delray Beach, FL 33445 (PHONE: 877-416-9566 ext.8204)

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Behavioral Health TechsAre you a caring, compassionate individual? Are you able to providesupervision and support for others in a thoughtful, respectful manner?If you have these qualities we encourage you to apply for a position asa Behavioral Health Technician, (BHT). Our BHT's are directlyinvolved in providing quality care for patients as part of the overallteam and are responsible for conducting meetings and providing struc-ture for our patients during their treatment experience. As a BHT youare the frontline staff member, having frequent interactions with thepatients throughout their stay. As a result you are in a position to havea positive impact on the patient's view toward recovery. The averageday for a BHT involves a variety of activities; there isn't a lot of timespent in one place since our patient's care is conducted in differentareas of the facility. The BHT should have a clear sense of personalboundaries and be able to enforce clearly established guidelines.One (1) year experience in addiction treatment services is preferred.People with their own personal recovery in place are encouraged toapply.

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Events

October 16-18, 2009Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA) 9th International Convention Conference

“Riding the Wave of Recovery”Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA) is a 12 Step fellowship of recoveringcouples committed to restoring healthy communication and caring and increasing joy and intimacy,

To find out more about RCA or to download the registration form for Riding the Wave of Recovery, go to:www.recovering-couples.org.

Early registrants may save as much as $25.00 per person. To book a room, go towww.starwoodmeeting.com/Book/RCA2009 or call (954)920-3500.

Questions about the convention maybe e-mailed to:[email protected] or call (954) 432-8167

The 8th AnnualConference

onAddictive Disorders

May 26-28, 2009

Fort Myers, Florida

Offering 21 CEU'sPresented by the Florida Addictions Institute

YOU:Asked for more sessions and learning opportunities inyour conference session evaluations

WE: Listened, and came up with our most exciting conferenceever, offering 21 CEU's, Five Conference Tracks, and 52Workshop Sessions!

Full information, including our Conference Brochure, HotelInformation, and a

Convenient Online Registration Link can be found at:

http://www.fladdictionsinstitute.org/Conference_About.html

Heading for Separation or Divorce?Willing to commit to each other and the relationship?

We bring experience, strength and hope through a 12 step pro-gram of Recovering Couples Anonymous. Our primary pur-pose is to stay committed in a loving and intimate relationshipand to help other couples achieve freedom from addicted anddestructive relationships.

When: Weekly Meeting on Sundays 6:00pm to 7:00pmWhere: Trinity Lutheran Church

7150 Pines Blvd, Pembroke Pines, 33024Information: Jerry and Vicky at [email protected]

53rd Florida State ConventionJuly 29th - Aug 2nd, 2009

Hyatt Regency Jacksonville225 East Coastline Dr

Jacksonville, Florida 32202www.jacksonville.hyatt.com

Speakers from around the U.S.A.

Marathon Meetings-Family Workshops-Young People MeetingBuffet Friday-Golf Tournament-Horseshoes Tournament

Comedian Jeff Allen-5k Run/Walk-Ice Cream SocialsDances and Entertainment-Non-English Speaking Meetings

Grapevine-Dr. Bob's Archives-Old Timers MeetingMeditation Meetings-Al-Anon & Alateen-

Onlne registration:http://www.53.flstateconvention.com/

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Soberstock 2009Speaker and campfire meetings,fishing and karaoke at campBrorein (Tampa Area).Tent campingonly--no RV’s/Pop-ups.

Food and drinks included for week-end $35.00/per person for week-end/ 1 day pass=$25.00visit www.soberstock.com for infoand registration...

Events

August 28 - August 30, 2009Florida Conference of Young People in AA

Annual Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) event with Al-Anon& Alateen participation. FCYPAA. August MarriottCourtyard, Hutchinson Island Oceanside, JensenBeach INFO @ www.fcypaa.org/fcypaa

23rd Gathering Of EaglesMay 22-24

Dallas, TX over Memorial Day Weekend. Celebratedover 8,500 years of sobriety in 2008. Long-timers,special speakers and Gail L. (Akron archivist). Visitwww.dallasgatheringofeagles.org

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Energy Drinks and Alcohol: A Dangerous MixSlick marketers appear to have found a lucra-

tive gold mine peddling energy drinks to vulner-able teens and college students who are all tooeager to believe their hype. "Tired is in yourhead. Wake up your brain and your body willfollow," they tell the young people and otherusers who spend billions each year on thesehighly caffeinated--and potentially dangerous--drinks.

These products are packaged in sleek canswith edgy graphics designed specifically toappeal to young people. Names like "AMPOverdrive," "Burn," "Speed Freak," and"Wired," to name just a few, make no pretenseabout the intention to market these beverages toconsumers looking for a liquid lift.

Some manufacturers are so bold as to lurepeople further by applying drug-related namesto their beverages like "Cocaine." Although theFood and Drug Administration successfully halt-ed the sales of the Cocaine drink in June, anoth-er product called "Blow"--a white powder that ismixed into beverages--quickly emerged to takeits place.

In addition to high amounts of caffeine, whichrange from about 80 milligrams (the equivalentof a cup of coffee) to 200 milligrams, the energydrinks usually contain other stimulants such asephedrine, guarana, and ginseng. Taurine, anamino acid that the body produces naturally, isalso added, but according to the SubstanceAbuse and Mental Health ServicesAdministration (SAMHSA), not much is knownabout how it works or how much is too much.

The main worry, however, is caffeine, whichspeeds up the central nervous system--the mainprocessing center that controls the body's organsand systems. Experts caution that caffeine is a

drug--a stimulant upon which people can growdependent and that can cause withdrawal symp-toms like headaches, mood swings, and poorconcentration when they attempt to stop using it.High levels of caffeine can dehydrate your body,speed up your heart, and raise your blood pres-sure, making energy drinks especially unsafe. Itis important not to confuse energy drinks withsports drinks that are designed to help athletes

rehydrate and replenish electrolytes and carbo-hydrates.

Of particular concern is the dangerous pop-ularity of mixing energy drinks with alcohol."The stimulation from a caffeine-heavy energydrink can make a person feel less intoxicatedthan he or she really is," warns SAMHSA. "As aresult, the person may keep drinking or take arisk such as driving without realizing the danger.In addition, because caffeine dehydrates thebody, alcohol becomes harder to absorb, whichmakes its toxic effects much more damaging tothe body."

Fatigue is one way the body signals you'vehad enough to drink, so stimulants can fool youinto thinking you aren't drunk or not as intoxi-

cated as you really are. But no matter how alertyou feel, your blood alcohol concentration is thesame.

Despite these risks, some beverage manufac-turers saw a profitable opportunity in the prac-tice of mixing energy drinks with alcohol andbegan producing flavored malt beverages thatcontain 12 percent alcohol by volume in addi-tion to the ingredients of energy drinks. Hereagain, creative marketers came up with brandsdesigned to entice young people. One called"Spykes" drew the attention and ire of a group of29 attorneys general.

In a May letter to Spykes' manufacturer,Anheuser-Busch, the AGs criticized the compa-ny for promoting what they termed a "youth-ori-ented starter drink" on their Web site by offeringfree ringtones and wallpaper downloads forcomputers that appeal to adolescents. Spykesattracted underage drinkers because of its fruitand chocolate flavors and its two-ounce cansdesigned to be mixed with beer and other drinks,or taken as a shot. Although they denied theirproduct was intended for anyone under 21 years,Anheuser-Busch announced that it would dis-continue production of Spykes just a week afterthe AG letter.

A report released in August by the MarinInstitute said that the alcohol industry is irre-sponsibly marketing alcoholic energy drinks toyouth. It calls upon the alcohol industry to ceaseselling these products and recommends that thefederal government investigate potentiallydeceptive marketing aimed at youth.

For more on this topic, visit SAMHSA online athttp://family.samhsa.gov/monitor/energy-drinks.aspx.

13

Recovery Bulletin BoardPat’s Cleaning ServiceNo Job Too Big or Small

Patricia DrummondOwner

Fort Lauderdale, [email protected]

The BEACHCOMBERFamily Center For The Treatment Of

Alcoholism and Drug Addiction4493 North Ocean Boulevard

Delray Beach, FL 33483Telephone: 561-734-1818

From Broward County: 421-6226From South Palm Beach County: 276-6226

JOSEPH R. BRYAN, Director

14

SnowbrietyNo one is ever going to try

to pour booze down your throat…or are they?

I've explored different careers in sobriety and at one point, I made acareer attempt into the world of private aviation. It was, and still is a boy'sclub of big toys, expensive cigars, and an exclusive good old boy net-work. It was fun, exciting and if I were 20 years younger, I would havetried to break into that industry. My brief involvement included going toan aviation show with executives one weekend. I have been sober a longtime, and even owned nightclubsand restaurants and am comfortablein those business situationsbecause I have a strong program tofollow and I have a reason forbeing there.

One night after dinner that week-end, we went to a party one of thefuel suppliers were hosting. Wewere having a good time, but sev-eral of the men thought it peculiarthat I was not drinking. As thenight wore on, it bothered themmore and more they decided to dosomething about it. Much to myshock, the CEO of one company pinned my arms behind my back whilethe other executive tried to pour Jell-O shots down my throat. They mayas well have had a gun to my head as I fought for my life like they did. Ikicked and pulled and pushed in terror until I got loose and ran back tomy hotel. I was appalled, terrified and grateful that God once again had

my back. They had no idea they were actually threatening my life, but Idid.

Yes, we can say stay home, pull the curtains down, not go to work, wearbrown bags over our heads, or we can get on our knees every day andhave a conscious contact with God and live a conscious life. I have found

that following the steps and programto the best of my ability on any onegiven day allows me the total freedomto participate safely in this banquet oflife, no matter how many crazy peopleI run into.

No matter where I want to go, what Iwant to do, I take God with me, I takemy devotion to the program with me,I pad either side of the journey withfellowship and try to surround myselfwith it like warm blankets. We havebeen blessed to be awake for all thecolors, flavors, joys and sorrows ofthis life and I don't want to miss any

part of it. No matter what, no one can steal your magic and I know for afact, God will meet you anywhere.

When did you have a run in with alcohol like this?

(Contact Snow at [email protected])

Women's Recovery Networkwww.WomensRecoveryNetwork.com

Helping women in recovery by providing information, education, referral, network-ing. Our mission is to inform you and your families of the valuable gender specificresources and recovery events available within your communities. Overall it is ourdesire to help promote and empower women to maintain a healthy productivelifestyle. Assisting women to achieve their personal and professional goals throughinformation, education, referral, and networking.

www.WomensRecoveryNetwork.com

15

A Friendly Riddle:What Expects Nothing and Accepts Everything?

Last week, I met a perfectstranger in a cozy Costa Ricancafé built from someone's oldhouse. Perhaps it was thechipped-white window ledgeswith bright blue walls, the gen-tle creak of the wooden floorsor the scent of freshly bakedempanadas and coffee in theair-something put us right athome. Amidst such comfort,our brief encounter inspired alifetime of profound reflectionson the all-important question:What is a true friend?

Our meeting had been sched-uled, and what transpired could not have been planned. Armed withbanana coladas, Mae's vegan black bean sandwich and a mountain ofchicken fajitas with fried plantains, we casually began to discuss hermemoir and the how-to of cultivating the courage and emotional aware-ness to put life's most intensely raw experiences into words.

Though not typically present at client meetings, my husband joined us,sharing my fajitas and listening carefully to our discussion. Together thethree of us connected over progressively more intimate details of ourlives, nimbly morphing the café ambiance into one of sheer vulnerability.Low and behold, the topic of friendship surfaced and my husband at lastchimed in: "Penelope and I don't have a lot of friends."

My breath stopped and I think I might have blacked out to be stirred againonly by a lump of unchewed fried cheese plunging toward my belly. Thetwisting of Mae's brow reflected my distress perfectly. Yet all one can doin such a situation-especially with a potential client-is remember: "bepresent and speak from the heart," which is exactly what happened as wenot-long-ago strangers reflected on what is friendship.

So what makes a friend? Let's make a list. Someone who keeps us fromfeeling our loneliness? Someone with whom we intoxicate ourselves viasubstances or entertainment in avoidance of feelings? Someone who tellsus pleasantries about ourselves and acts charmed when we reciprocate? Asecret confidant who indulges us in gossiping about others whom weavoid discussions with? Someone who gives us free advice?

In my observation, people zealously label others as friends based on hav-ing known them for a long time, or for whatever reason they were validat-ed through our being drawn to them. And how do I know this? I've beenthere myself. Regardless, it seems fair to say people use the "f"-word tocategorize familiar people. So how do we distinguish between a friendand an acquaintance?

If there is a motive of control or neediness by either party, can this consti-tute friendship? Because I've noticed that many "friendships"-particularlythose that develop during crisis periods in our lives-have been forgedfrom the mold of the advice-giver and the advice-receiver. Yet only timereveals that those relationships in no way should be considered friend-ships, particularly when the advice is not solicited. Sound familiar?

What I've learned: Whenever someone seems overly eager to give advice,their motives should be challenged. Precisely because the advice mightnot be the wisdom of experience, and in such cases, they could be exper-imenting with your life so as to not test it their own. In light of this pos-sibility, the most loving counsel of a true friend is: asking questions withthe intent of assisting one to find their own truth, rather than recyclingCosmo rhetoric and seizing the opportunity to appear superior, or at thevery least more intelligent.

Here's a key: Advice is usually sought by one who thinks they are notcapable of recognizing the truth. So if we find ourselves on the givingend, perhaps it is wiser to look in a mirror and consider whether we'reconfusing that friend with our projections, rather than supporting oraccepting exactly who they are in each moment.

So what is the key ingredient in a friend?

They expect nothing and accept everything. There are no exceptions tothis rule.

This considered, my husband's surprise statement actually summed it upperfectly. Though as a writer, I may have taken a slightly more poeticapproach, because true friends are like mangoes in the arctic and I cancount them on one sticky hand. How about you?

************************************

Penelope Love is a writer, publishing consultant and the former editor ofCounselor: The Magazine for Addiction Professionals. She welcomesyour e-mail at [email protected].

16Rebecca B.

The Case of Mr. BiggsOnce upon a time there was a man by the

name of Billy Biggs who had a very long…yetsomewhat unsatisfying life. Billy Biggs wasborn of humble beginnings at St. Mary's hospi-tal in Richmond, VA. When Billy was deliveredinto this world he immediately became awarethat it was cold and Billy did NOT like cold…sohe began to scream. Billy was cleaned, given alittle bitty diaper, wrapped in a warm fuzzyblanket and taken to a room with many otherbabies. As he scanned the room, Billyrealized that he was three rows back fromthe viewing window, (not up front), anddid NOT like that. He also noticed that thebaby beside him had a much "fuzzier"blanket than his…but what really got tohim, was that the baby in front of him,(whose diaper was being changed), had amonogram on his diaper! Billy WANTEDa monogramed diaper…and he began toscream!

Well, time went by and BillyBiggs was about 36 months old, sitting inthe front of the grocery cart…suckinghappily on his passy. Billy's mom was looking atveggies when Billy noticed the baby in the cartbeside him had a REALLY cool passy in hermouth…and Billy wanted that passy! So do youknow what he did?? Why he screamed out,"GIVE MEEEE DAAT PASSSSYYYYY!!!"and yanked it right out of that babies mouth andstuck it directly into his own! His mother washorrified! She tried to reason with Billy becausewhen she was finally able to retrieve the passyand return it, he was screaming his head off.

Billy Biggs finally began school…histendency for dissatisfaction having only grownworse. The school he went to was not the one hewanted to go to. The teacher he had, (no matterwhich one), was not the right one. The subjectsthat he took were either to boring or not the rightkind. His mother found that no matter whatclothes she bought, they were the not the rightcolor, style or just plain wrong. Even when Billymade friends…they were never the right friends,because Billy always wanted the friends he did-n't yet have.

Billy made it to High School and had a4.0 average, but could never be content withthat. He argued with the school board that thereshould be something "higher than average".Billy Biggs somehow managed to get a girl-friend. She was a very sweet, beautiful, kind,intelligent and incredibly patient girlfriend atthat. But as you might guess, Billy Biggs want-

ed somebody "better". Billy graduated at the topof his class, but wasn't happy. In fact he hadnever wanted to be the top of his class…he hadwanted to be the top of the class the year aheadof his.

Billy went off to college and of course,shortly after arriving was quite unhappy with theschool, its faculty and curriculum. He spent hiscollege career trying to show everyone how

things could be better. Billy graduated at the topof his class again and decided that from this dayon he did not wish to be called "Billy", he pre-ferred Mr. Biggs. When he obtained his first jobat a prestigious law firm he quickly became dis-appointed in both the firm and his boss, becausehe noticed how much both were lacking, com-pared to what ideas "he" had on how they couldbe better…BIGGER!

So Mr. Biggs decided to begin his ownlaw firm and even his own advertising…BIGGSLAW - We are better and We are Bigger! He ulti-mately was very successful, although he couldnever enjoy it…because he couldn't escape see-ing how it could be better…BIGGER, if onlythey worked a little harder. Mr. Biggs nevermarried, because he could never find that "per-fect" woman. He never had kids. He madeTONS of money, but could never be satisfied,because there was always someone who hadmore. Biggs had a REALLY BIG house, (manyof them), but there were always bigger housesand people who had more than him. He ownedmany cars and boats, but alas he could NEVERbe satisfied. One day, in his BIG house, with hisbeautiful furniture, looking out at his BIGpool…Mr. Biggs died - all alone.

He arrived at heavens gate anticipatingFINALLY meeting St. Peter. However, it turnedout Peter was on vacation and the saint workingthe gate that day was named Howard. Howard

looked at him and said, "Billy! Come on in!"Billy, (irritated with being called Billy), said,"The name is Mr. Biggs and what's more, whoare you? You don't look like Peter." Howardstared at Biggs, (somewhat amazed), and said,"St. Peter is out right now, I'm St. Howard. Isthat a problem?" Biggs looked him up and downand said, "I haven't come all this way to be letinto Heaven by a little saint named Howard!After all, I'm Mr. Biggs, don't you know any-

thing??" Howard, (trying to be patient),looked at Biggs and said, "Well, I'm itand coming in here is a one shot deal.Either you come in with me opening thegate…or you go to the other place."Howard could NOT believe his earswhen Mr. Billy Biggs announced… "I'llgo there! It's GOT to be better thanhere!"

Of course, this is just astory…just make believe. But althoughan exaggeration, haven't we all known aMr. Biggs or better yet, BEEN a Mr.Biggs at one time or another? Isn't it

easy to lose the joy found in each moment, eachexperience, each gift…when we allow ourselvesto give in to the idea that there is somethingMORE…something BETTER…somethingBIGGER?

I know that for me, this tendency can beso subtle in nature. For example: When I had 30days sober…I wanted 60. When I had 60 days, Iwanted 6 months. When I had 6 months, I want-ed a year. When I had my first car, (which wasused), I wanted a new car. When I got my firstapartment, I wanted to have a house.When I gota house, I wanted new furniture, etc. HoweverI've found that 9 times out of 10, when I am feel-ing dissatisfied and unfulfilled, it is almostalways because my eye has wandered, I've"compared myself" to someone or somethingelse and have lost what was once a feeling ofjoy, gratitude and contentment. Of course thesolution is quite thankfully an easy one:

I remind myself that I shouldn't even behere. I should have perished many years ago.However I was spared and given anotherchance. All that I have and all that I am isbecause of grace and mercy. Not what I have"earned", but rather what I've been "freelygiven". Remembering this I find myself filledwith peace and contentment… my mind theneagerly geared to what I can "give" rather thanwhat I can "get". (Rebecca B.) [email protected]

17

Spirituality: A Spot of GritWe often forget that it is that

little tiny bit of grit that is need-ed to create a pearl. And I'msuggesting that recovery, heal-ing, surrender is that essentialpiece of grit that will eventuallyaffirm sobriety or "the goodlife".

Maybe you've never thoughtof yourself as that little bit ofgrit or more precisely havingwithin you that spot of grit thattruly makes all the difference.

It is always a challenge totalk about spirituality because itusually takes us into the 'poetic'aspects of life. It's a little like

talking about God, words can never do justice to what we want to say, ourfeelings concerning the divine often become restricted when we attemptto put them into words. Spirituality faces a similar challenge.

A definition of spirituality includes words like energy, breath, life andwe are forced to explain these words by giving examples:

A spiritual person exudes a positive energy that radiates love and gen-erosity

It is said in scripture that God breathed into the first humans and gavesomething of himself in the creation of life.

A recovering person experiences a spiritual awakening that affirmslife

For years I've known that the spiritual life necessarily involves thepoetic and the challenge for any writer is to use examples that clearlyexplain what they are intending to say.

This brings me back to a spot of grit. The example of a pearl is oppo-site because it is considered a gem of beauty and I'm suggesting that thisis what recovery, healing, sobriety looks like. Our lives are slowlychanged into being something wonderful, wholesome, and good in everysense, indeed some would say a miracle, and it comes from what I'm call-ing a spot of grit.

What is the grit? Well, again this is poetic-speak, a metaphor for themoment we accept that we need to change a behavior that is killing us. Itis that point of surrender when we give up fighting, we give up denying,we give up the pretense of suggesting that everything is okay. All this iswhat I'm calling a spot of grit; it is the beginning of the process of heal-ing.

I believe in nurturing our spirituality and conferences are wonderfulways we can feed our spirituality, not only to teach, but to learn. As manyof you know, I speak at Conferences throughout the United States, alwaysseeking to explain spirituality in the process of healing. In January Ispoke at the NOVA Conference in Dallas and at the US JournalConference in Clearwater, Florida discussing how, for me, addictionbecomes a part of the grit that, when confronted, can lead to happinessand peace.

When I think about my life today in recovery, I'm so aware that I'mliving a charmed existence; a pearl. And I know I'm not the only one. Ihear from people who, because of recovery, are able to live the good life.They are falling in love, getting married, enjoying financial security,going back to school, planning trips, exploring other countries, spendingmore time with their loved ones and taking care of their health. Manyhave returned to church, found a God or Higher Power that accepts andloves them, more importantly, they are enjoying an adventure into spiri-tuality.

It must be interesting for you to consider that a part of our make-upinvolves a spot of grit but I want you to hold the vision of the emergingpearl. The message is clear: you are exquisite

Reverend Leo is an internationally acclaimed author, lec-turer, and trainer on all aspects of spirituality and recoveryfrom depression, addictions, or compulsive behaviors andlow self esteem.

He is the Spiritual Advisor to Behavioral Health of the PalmBeaches in FL and the author of Say Yes to Your Spirit pub-lished by Health Communications Incorporated.

Contact Rev Leo:

email:[email protected]

website: www.fatherleo.com

18

In the famous myth the phoenix was a beautifulbird that built its nest out of twigs. The bird thenignited the twigs and out of its ashes a beautiful newbird was born. We often hear this story as an analo-gy for our recovery. Many of us know of gratefulindividuals in recovery who having achieved sobri-ety go on to work in the field of addictions and ded-icate their lives to the service of other recoveringaddicts and alcoholics. The Florida House CEO,Sherief Abu-Moustafa has become a living embodi-ment of this experience, not only in his personal lifebut in his awe inspiring transformation of theFlorida House from a traditional halfwayhouse to an all encompassing, comprehensive,quality treatment program. The Florida HouseExperience is located on a beautifully land-scaped, 3 acre self contained sober living cam-pus. The programs include intensive residen-tial licensed treatment, intensive outpatienttreatment, with housing as well as long termsober living. The Florida House Experienceoffers an innovative, reality-based approach totreatment and is dedicated to providing consis-tent long term quality care at all levels of treatment.The commitment is continuity of care that is con-ducive to recovery and long term sobriety.

Sherief was an exceptionally skilled psychiatricnurse when his own addiction led him to thedoorstep of the Florida House in search of recovery.While there he was greatly influenced by the twelvestep approach to recovery as personified by DaveDeOreo, the Florida House manager at the time.Sherief came to realize that an integrative approach,combining a clinical and therapeutic process and thetwelve step model could be fashioned into the bestpossible prescription for recovery with lasting out-comes. His stay at the Florida House saw the birth ofhis vision and after completing the program heinvested in the Florida House and soon became itsCEO. He realized the need to give back the gift hehad been given and his vision evolved.

Sherief invested both time and money in upgrad-ing and expanding what was the Florida House, thehalfway house. He began improvements and renova-tions which included blacktop, tropical landscapingand building extensions to the existing property.With a vision in mind his mission continued toexpand and over time he acquired surrounding prop-erties incorporating them into the lush sober livingcampus. Now the Florida House Experience consistsof a beautiful 3 acre campus complete with fullyequipped apartment style housing for 200 residents,a community meeting hall called The Room andnewly built JoJo's Café, a beautifully terraced fullservice café and restaurant providing meals to resi-dents at all levels of care.

Sherief took a long hard look at what has becomeknown as "the Florida model of treatment." Hefound it to be lacking in consistency and long termcare that most professionals recognize is pivotal infostering lasting sobriety. He also found that tradi-tional 28-day treatment approaches lacked the cama-raderie of a sober living community. The "Floridamodel" currently consists of providing treatment in afacility such as an office park or store front andhousing residents in nearby rental communities orcondos. Residents are typically shuttled back andforth to meetings in the all too familiar "white vans"and programs are traditionally 28 days and extreme-ly costly. Just as residents begin to become comfort-

able in their surroundings they are moved to anotherdifferent locale for sober living. Many elite centersclaim to provide a "continuum of care" however,unfortunately few are able to substantiate this andaddicts and alcoholics newly in recovery increasing-ly experience chronic relapses following this model.

Sherief's vision for the Florida House Experiencewas to combine the best possible clinical treatmentwith the traditional twelve step philosophy all on asober living campus where residents would have theopportunity to engage and interact in a community

from intensive treatment to independent sober liv-ing; a campus that would become a "nest" of safetyas they learn the life skills and tools necessary tomaintain lasting sobriety.

"The Florida House Experience" is much morethan a treatment facility, it consists of several uniqueelements that set it apart from other facilities. It fea-tures The Room, a 12 Step meeting hall on campusthat allows residents to attend AA/NA meetings andproviding a sense of community to all members ofthe Florida House community. Guest speakers areinvited to participate and chair meetings and this cre-ates an opportunity for residents to begin to buildrelationships with recovering individuals in the localSouth Florida community. Another addition, JoJo'sCafé, provides an atmosphere for clients to socializein a healthy and positive environment. With out-standing food and service it has quickly become agathering place not only for the sober community butthe general public at large. These two features allowthe Florida House to be a welcome neighbor andmaintain a positive relationship within the surround-ing community.

With a better understanding of what the FloridaHouse Experience is, how does it relate to clientcare? Just as the physical location and campus stylesober living takes care of residents' physical needsthe Florida House Experience provides a series ofinnovative treatment modalities that accommodateall the psychological, clinical and medical needs ofclients as they begin their journey into recovery. Themulti phase gender specific programs guides clientsfrom admission all the way to independent living.

Sherief believes that "discharge planning beginsat admission" and the treatment program begins witha comprehensive intake, assessment and evaluationof new clients with an eye toward fashioning the bestpossible customized program for each new resident.Dr Aldo Morales, psychiatrist and addictionologist ison site and available for all residents' psychologicaland pharmacological needs. For individuals whorequire detoxification services the Florida HouseExperience works closely with leading reputablefacilities that offer safe, medically monitored detox.Consistent quality of care is maintained to assure asmooth transition from detox facilities to the FloridaHouse Experience Sunlight program.

Residents begin the Sunlight Recovery programwhich provides quality intensive residential treat-ment incorporating a clinical, behavioral, spiritualand 12 step model approach. This treatment com-bined ensures residents will form a strong founda-tion for successful, long term sobriety. The FloridaHouse Experience employs a staff that is experi-enced, licensed and credentialed in addiction treat-ment, trauma and other dual diagnoses. An importantcomponent of Sunlight Recovery is the FamilyWorkshop which is a 2 day program where families

and loved ones are invited to participate inintensive group therapy sessions and explorefamily dynamics that maintain the addictiveprocesses. Family of origin issues areaddressed in an effort to further the understand-ing of addiction and help struggling loved onesform and maintain healthy, positive relation-ships.

Following the Sunlight Recovery programresidents are gradually transitioned intoInnovations which is an intensive outpatientprogram that includes a highly structured 30

day integration to sober living that provides groups,workshops and individual therapy. Residents havethe opportunity to meet with the psychiatrist, nursepractitioner and individual therapist as needed toaddress any medical, clinical or pharmacologicalissues. They are also required to seek and maintainemployment, pursue academic endeavors or volun-teer in the local communities.

Upon successful completion of the Innovationsprogram residents' transition into The Florida House,a safe and supervised, gender specific sober livingcommunity on the campus. They are encouraged toget a job, develop a community support system andwork a twelve step program. Counseling is stillavailable as are on-campus meetings. Here, theFlorida House Experience offers residents an oppor-tunity (at an affordable cost) to learn to become pro-ductive members of society and enjoy the joy andsatisfaction of a sober life style.

A wonderful and unique final phase allows clientsto live off campus with other recovering individualsin the Graduate Housing. While the campus is closeat hand and always welcoming and supportive,clients are encouraged to gradually attain their inde-pendence and follow their dreams by utilizing thenewly acquired skills as they look towards a cleanand sober future.

With a strong belief in guided recovery, a spiritu-al 12-step foundation and a sense of community,Sherief and his staff have fashioned a truly uniqueand innovative approach to recovery from addiction.Sherief says, "Having the good fortune to be in theposition to develop this program has been nothingshort of a blessing from God. My sincere hope is toprovide the best possible environment and servicesfor our residents for them to receive the same bless-ings that I have." This sums up the feelings of thestaff and residents. The phoenix has truly risen at thisoasis of recovery that is the Florida HouseExperience.

Grab a bite at JoJo's Café and stop in at the office fora full campus tour. The campus is located at 505 S.Federal Highway, Deerfield Beach, FL.Alternatively you can call 24/7 for any additionalinformation or inquiries at 888-342-1460. Check outthe web site: www.floridahouseexperience.com

The Florida House Experience:A Sober Living Campus Community

19

Wanna Play? Come on a Gratitude Cruise 561-702-2312

www.sobercelebrations.com

20

Family SportThree brothers share a family sport:A non-stop marathonThe oldest one is fat and shortAnd trudges slowly onThe middle brother's tall and slimAnd keeps a steady paceThe youngest runs just like the wind,Speeding through the race"He's young in years, we let him run,"The other brothers say"'Cause though he's surely number one,He's second, in a way."

DOUBLE-NITIONSMany of our everyday words have more than one mean-ing. Below are eleven pairs of definitions. Both defini-tions in each pair fit the same word. When read down, thefirst letters of the eleven answers will spell out the nameof a beloved TV celebrity.1. Spend time idly or bread unit2. Worker's organization or marriage3. Pine tree fruit or ice cream holder4. Feeling of curiosity or savings account accrual5. Land parcel or considerable quantity6. Illumination or not weighty at all7. Typewriter type style or the VIP crowd8. Baby's toy or city square9. Weapon or upper body appendage10. Bowling group or three nautical miles11. Stand at a slant or thin

BRAIN TEASERS

Aries (March 21-April 19): Someone needs to comfort thedisgruntled and smooth things over for the ruffled. Yourwarmth and sincerity make you the No. 1 choice. You can’tkeep it unless you give it away!

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Is it possible for you to givesomeone a raise or a fat tip? To do so in times of cutbacksand layoffs will send a powerful message. You believe in anabundant universe and you stand by your beliefs. God willprovide.

Gemini (May 21-June 21): When you put your mind to it,you can change someone else's mind. Observe and strate-gize. It's not time to wage your attack. There is a gentle wayto do this, and you will figure it out. Live and let live.

Cancer (June 22-July 22): Friends may need you more thanis good for any of you. Encourage others to be stronginstead of codependent. Spend little time sympathizing andmore time building them up and read article on Al Anon.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Someone loves your ideas and style.Nail the structure and context of your project. That's whatwill take you from "amateur" to "professional" one day at atime.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You have a good estimation ofwhere you are going; still, you could be pointed in the rightdirection by someone who knows. Ask to be mentored andcall your sponsor.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): You get pleasure from watchingpeople develop. You will coach others in your own quietway. Your support may not be verbally recognized, but it isstrongly felt. Keep sharing the message.

Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21): You'll be swimming with thesharks. You can be fierce when you want to be. Ratchet yourattitude up and let everyone know you're a contender.Be assertive but not aggressive.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You are being asked to deliv-er a result that is unusual and perhaps difficult. If you knowthat this is not your talent, call in reinforcements. Ask forhelp.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Friends and colleagues maytry to sway your choices. You are too sophisticated to letsomeone else dictate to you. Rebuff anyone trying to makea power play on your life. Be true to yourself.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Remember those people youhelped along? You told them they were doing all the work,but no one grows alone. Your assistance favorably impactsthe world today. Reach out to those in need.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): There are benefits to going withthe flow. Operating under the radar you'll have great free-dom, which overrides your need to state strong opinions.You are one among many in a “we” program.

Your Recovery Horoscope

JO LINDA BROWN [email protected]

OCEANBREEZE COTTAGESSafe Supportive Living

Delray Beach, FL Tel 561-495-1001Cell 561-523-2806 Fax 561-495-1002Call for Info www.obcottages.com

21

22

For Your Inspiration23

Is This Jar Full?A while back I was reading about an expert on the subject of time management. One day this expert wasspeaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those studentswill never forget. As this man stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers he said, "Okay,time for a quiz." Then he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouthed mason jar and set it on a table in frontof him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, intothe jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?"Everyone in the class said, "Yes." Then he said, "Really?"

He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shookthe jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks. Thenhe asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?" By this time the class was onto him. “Probably not,"one of them answered. "Good!" he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand.He started dumping the sand in and it went into all the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel.

Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?" "No!" the class shouted. Once again he said,"Good!" Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked up at the class and asked,"What is the point of this illustration?" One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you tryreally hard, you can always fit some more things into it!" "No," the speaker replied, "that's not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is:If you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all."

What are the 'big rocks' in your life? A project that YOU want to accomplish? Time with your loved ones? Your faith, your education, yourfinances? A cause? Teaching or mentoring others? Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you'll never get them in at all. So, tonight or inthe morning when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: What are the 'big rocks' in my life or business? Then, put thosein your jar first.

How Big Is One? As a man walked a desolate beach one cold, gray morning he began to see another figure, far in thedistance. Slowly the two approached each other, and he could make out a local native who kept lean-ing down, picking something up and throwing it out into the water. Time and again he hurled thingsinto the ocean.

As the distance between them continued to narrow, the man could see that the native was picking upstarfish that had been washed upon the beach and, one at a time, was throwing them back into thewater.

Puzzled, the man approached the native and asked what he was doing. "I'm throwing these starfishback into the ocean. You see, it's low tide right now and all of these starfish have been washed uponto the shore. If I don't throw them back into the sea, they'll die up here from lack of oxygen."

"But there must be thousands of starfish on this beach," the man replied. "You can't possibly get toall of them. There are just too many. And this same thing is probably happening on hundreds of

beaches all up and down this coast. Can't you see that you can't possibly make a difference?"

The local native smiled, bent down and picked up another starfish, and as he threw it back into the sea he replied, "Made a difference to that one!"

Each of us is but one person: limited, burdened with our own cares and responsibilities. We may feel there is so much to be done, and we have solittle to give. We're usually short of everything, especially time and money. When we leave this shore, there will still be millions of starfish strand-ed on the beach. Maybe we can't change the whole world, but there isn't one of us who can't help change one person's whole world. One at a time.We can make a difference.

24

As a Clinical Treatment Consultant andCriminal Justice Addictions Professional, myjob is to assess each client in the CriminalJustice system and to determine the best treat-ment option for that individual. A good deal ofmy time is spent in the Circuit Drug Court.Defendants are diverted into the Circuit DrugCourt when they have been charged with aFelony possession of Narcotics or over 20grams of marijuana. When a defendant isdiverted into Drug Court, there are certain pro-cedures and protocols. Here is a descrip-tion of what typically occurs when aDefendant enters Drug Court in BrowardCounty:

When the Defendant first appears in DrugCourt the Judge will ask if there are anylegal issues. The State Attorney then hasthe opportunity to object to the Defendantbeing admitted to Drug Court if they are ahabitual offender or if the Defendant ischarged with Trafficking or Delivery orAttempted of either one. If there are noobjections and the Defendant is acceptedinto Drug Court, they will be assigned to aPTI (Pre-Trial Intervention) Officer towhom he or she must report to once amonth. They will be subject to urine dropsat these visits and PTI will report at eachstatus hearing whether Defendant has attendedand the results of the urinalysis.

Most defendants will be placed into the CountySheriff's Department Treatment Program.There are three phases to the program and thelength of the program is designed to be oneyear, although defendants often are set backdue to relapses or other forms of non-compli-ance, including lack of payment of fees fortreatment and court-costs. When Drug Courtclients finally graduate, the Court will dismissthe charges against them. This is called"deferred prosecution" which then becomes aDismissal. At that point, the client may be eli-gible for either a sealing or expungement oftheir criminal record, depending on their priorarrest history and other factors.

On Phase I, the Defendant must attend treat-ment 4 days per week for an hour each night.On Phase II, they must attend only 2 days perweek and on Phase III only once a week. PhaseI is generally for the first month of the program,although as stated, a client can be held on aphase longer as a result of relapses, non-com-

pliance or Counselor Judicial discretion. Ahigher level of care may be recommended byBSO include a 28-day residential program, a30-day in-custody program, a 90-day in-cus-tody program or some combination of residen-tial and out-patient treatment. The ultimatedecision will be made by the Judge. The Judgemay order, in addition, that the Client attend acertain number of AA/NA meetings per weekand bring sign-in sheets to Court as proof ofattendance. That is usually something that is

suggested in any event. The Defendant usuallymust report to the Court at a Status Hearingonce a month, but the Judge can order shorteror lengthier resets at his or her discretion.

If a Defendant wishes they may "opt-out" ofDrug Court and fight their case on Legalgrounds in another Felony Division. If they arefound Guilty in another Division, they may beadjudicated and sentenced to jail time or felonyprobation. They will not be eligible for Sealingor Expungement of record, unless the adjudica-tion is withheld, they are acquitted of thecharges or the case is Nolle Prossed or dis-missed for some other reason.

What most Defendants do not know, and arenot usually told, is that they have alternatives tothe County Treatment Program. There aremany excellent private as well as not-for-profittreatment facilities which will provide treat-ment that will meet all the Drug Court require-ments. These clients will receive more individ-ualized attention to their unique individualneeds. Many Drug Court Clients are dually-diagnosed which means they have co-occurring

disorders. The County-run facilities are notusually equipped to address these issues due tolow funding and budget issues and staff whoare overburdened with astronomic case-loadsand are paid very little. Don't get me wrong.Some County facilities do an excellent job,considering the limited resources they have andtremendous case-loads. However, it is literallyimpossible for them to give the same level ofcare that can be provided in a more intimate,private setting.

The private treatment programsare usually much more flexibleand accommodating towards theclients because they can afford tobe. The County run programs areover-booked and under-funded.There are waiting lists which canexceed 6 weeks just to be admit-ted into certain County programs.In the mean time, the Judge mayorder that the client wait "in-cus-tody" until a bed becomes avail-able. Furthermore, some clientsare under the impression that theCounty programs are free. This isa fallacy. Fees will accumulateand may be in excess of severalhundred dollars when all is said

and done. The Defendant's case will not usual-ly be dismissed until all fees and court costs arepaid.

Most of the private treatment facilities acceptmost major insurance providers as payment.Others even accept Medicare, Medicaid, orsliding scales for self-pay clients.When a clientelects to attend a private treatment program inlieu of County Treatment, the Judge will usual-ly order the client to that facility for a certainlength of time. The program must be approvedby the Court. The County Treatment will bedeleted from the order. Any client wishing toby-pass the County Treatment program in lieuof alternate treatment programs should beadvised by a Professional Treatment Consultantas to what his or her best options will be. TheTreatment Professional will guide the clientthrough the process and make the necessaryrecommendations to the Court.

Any questions or comments regarding this arti-cle can be addressed to Myles B. Schlam, J.D.,CCJAP - Legal - Clinical Consultant. He can bereached at (954) 804-6888.

An Inside Look At Drug CourtBy: Myles B. Schlam, J.D., CCJAP

25

The Solution Directory

26

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

A good conscience is a continual Christmas.

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.

A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as wellas the body.

A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.

A life of leisure and a life of laziness are two things. There will be sleep-ing enough in the grave.

A man wrapped up in himself makes a verysmall bundle.

A penny saved is a penny earned.

A place for everything, everything in its place.

A small leak can sink a great ship.

Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.

Admiration is the daughter of ignorance.

All mankind is divided into three classes: thosethat are immovable, those that are movable, andthose that move.

All wars are follies, very expensive and verymischievous ones.

An investment in knowledge pays the best inter-est.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, depends onwhose solicitor has given me my brief.

Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security willdeserve neither and lose both.

Applause waits on success.

As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for everyidle silence.

At twenty years of age the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, thejudgment.

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let everynew year find you a better man.

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.

Beauty and folly are old companions.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants usto be happy.

Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as beingunwilling to learn.

Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink agreat ship.

Beware the hobby that eats.

Buy what thou hast no need of and ere long thoushalt sell thy necessities.

By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.

Certainty? In this world nothing is certain but deathand taxes.

Content makes poor men rich; discontent makesrich men poor.

Creditors have better memories than debtors.

Diligence is the mother of good luck.

Distrust and caution are the parents of security.

Do good to your friends to keep them, to your enemies to win them.

Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.

Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to gain leisure.

The Wisdom Of Ben Franklin

27

The Wit of Mark TwainI am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of themnever happened.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I havefriends in both places.

I have been complimented many times and theyalways embarrass me; I always feel that they havenot said enough.

I have made it a rule never to smoke more that onecigar at a time.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my edu-cation.

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping andresting.

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takesme as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it hadceased to be one.

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deterio-rate the cat.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he madeschool boards.

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24hours.

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it isthe parts that I do understand.

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you knowfor sure that just ain't so.

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctlynative criminal class except Congress.

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and notdeserve them.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a foolthan to open it and remove all doubt.

It is better to take what does not belong to you thanto let it lie around neglected.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country wehave those three unspeakably precious things: free-dom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the pru-dence never to practice either of them.

It is curious that physical courage should be so com-mon in the world and moral courage so rare.

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call ananimal dumb because it is dumb to his dull percep-tions.

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a dif-ference of opinion that makes horse races.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to preparea good impromptu speech.

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonder-ful to miss it.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are stillrolling.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so wecan have some conversation.

28

Father Martin Passes OnLeaving A Legacy of Love and Hope To Us All

The Rev. Joseph C. Martin, whose battle with alcoholism inspired himto become a national leader in the fight against the disease by speaking,writing books, making videos and starting a treatment center, diedMarch 9 at his home in Havre de Grace, Md. He was 84.

The probable cause of death was heart failure, said Rosemary Ostmann,a spokeswoman for Ashley, the highly rated treatment center FatherMartin started near Havre de Grace. The center, sometimes called “theBetty Ford Clinic of the East,” says it has helped more than 40,000 peo-ple, including several celebrities.

Father Martin first became widelyknown through a talk he gave on the12 steps of recovery propounded byAlcoholics Anonymous. He some-times began with a preface similar tothe one every alcoholic uses toaddress meetings of the organization,changing it to give his full name: “Myname is Joe Martin, and I’m an alco-holic.”

With no preaching or moralizing, hespoke plainly of alcoholism as a sick-ness, not an evil. He used a black-board and chalk, and in 1972, theNavy filmed the speech to use formandatory addiction training, titlingthe movie “The Blackboard Talk.”The speech came to be known as “thechalk talk,” and subsequent videos ofit and more than 40 more talks thatFather Martin made were used inother branches of the military andthroughout the federal government aswell as in hospitals, corporations and treatment centers around theworld. He wrote three books.

“We alcoholics drink because we can’t not drink,” Father Martindeclared in his many talks. His motto: “Have chalk, will travel.”

Betty Ford wrote to thank him for the video, which she saw while shewas in treatment.

One person who said her life had been changed by Father Martin wasLora Mae Abraham, a housewife from Havre de Grace, whose drinkinghad spun out of control in 1964. She went to Baltimore to hear Gov.Harold Hughes of Iowa, an alcoholic who often spoke to other alco-holics about his own recovery.

When Mr. Hughes did not arrive, Mrs. Abraham saw that a Catholicpriest — Father Martin, as she learned later — was about to speakinstead. She stayed to hear his message.

“He removed the shame from me,” she said in an interview with TheBaltimore Sun in 2008. “It changed my life forever on.”

Father Martin became such close friends with Mrs. Abraham and herfamily that he eventually moved in with them, staying for more than 38years. He became inactive as a priest and took a job with Maryland’salcoholism agency as an educator. He came to regard Mrs. Abraham andher husband, Tommy, and son, Alex, as family.

In addition to them, he is survived by his brother, Edward, of Lilburn,Ga.; and two sisters, Frances Osborne and Dorothy Christopher, both ofBaltimore.

In 1978, Mrs. Abraham told FatherMartin she feared that his accomplish-ments would die with him. She sug-gested that they open a treatment cen-ter. It took seven years to raise enoughmoney to open Ashley, which isnamed for Mrs. Abraham’s father, theRev. Arthur Ashley, and is on the for-mer estate of Millard Tydings, aUnited States senator from Maryland.It now has 85 beds.

Joseph Charles Martin was born onOct. 12, 1924, in Baltimore. His fatherhabitually got drunk on Friday, pay-day. Three of the four sons developeddrinking problems, The Sun reported.

At Loyola High School in Baltimore,Father Martin was valedictorian andwas voted best debater, best actor andclass member with the best smile. Heattended Loyola College in Maryland,then studied for the priesthood at St.Mary’s Seminary and University in

Baltimore. He was ordained as a priest in 1948 and became a priest ofthe Society of Saint-Sulpice, whose chief mission is to educate seminar-ians.

He then taught in the order’s seminaries in California and Maryland anddiscovered he had a taste for gin. In 1958, his drinking prompted hissuperiors to send him to Guest House, a Michigan treatment center forthe clergy, where his recovery began.

Father Martin often used humor in discussing alcoholism. He told of apolice officer who saw a drunk with a penguin and told the drunk to takethe penguin to the zoo, where it belonged. The next day, the officer sawthe same drunk with the same penguin and demanded to know why thedrunk had not taken the bird to the zoo.

“I did,” the drunk replied. “He loved it. Today, we’re going to thelibrary.”

But Father Martin’s best-remembered words were probably his custom-ary welcome to each troubled patient at his treatment center: “The night-mare is over.”

(New York Times Obituary)

29

THE SOLUTION DIRECTORY

Brain Teaser AnswersFAMILY SPORTThe hands on a clock (hour, minute, and second).

DOUBLE-NITIONS1. Loaf

2. Union

3. Cone

4. Interest

5. Lot

6. Light

7. Elite

8. Block

9. Arm

10. League

11. Lean

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While in a drug treatment center four years ago my therapist informedme that I have an inner child. And that I needed to nurture her. At the timeI thought to myself, this woman is a kook! Nurturing myself is one thing,but having an inner child? I was confused. What was this woman talkingabout? Well I now I know. It took me four years, a few workshops, and alot more therapy, but I finally figured it out!

Our inner child is basically us when we werechildren. Young and innocent, learning right fromwrong and good from bad. Sometimes, alonglife's path, our inner children get hurt, abused, orlearn things that aren't exactly true. These thingstend to stick with us and effect us as adults. Ourinner child dictates our feelings. So when we'reangry or irritated, it usually has something to dowith a childhood issue. Our inner child is ourtruth. It is who we really are.

I was told in treatment that I needed to help myinner child heal by a.) Treating her like she reallydoes exist. b.) By not abusing her anymore withnegative self talk. c.) By not listening to thatinner critic we all have in our heads, telling us wecan't do these childlike things because after allwe've got to be responsible adults. And d.) Bylearning to stop and let my inner child enjoy things, enjoy life.

One night a few months ago, I attended an inner child workshop. ThereI met a lady who shared with the group how she nurtured her inner child.Once a week she'd take her inner child somewhere fun, like the zoo andlet her enjoy the animals. Of course, I'm sure, this nice lady benefitedfrom her visit with the animals as well, but it was her inner child she wastrying to please. And it hit me! A light bulb finally came on in my head.It was so simple! Nurturing my inner child meant doing things I enjoyedas a child or would've enjoyed as a child!

So I left that workshop, went straight to McDonalds and bought myinner child a happy meal. I ended up getting a toy racecar as a prize. It wasobviously for a boy, but I decorated it with the flame stickers that it camewith anyway. I made that car look so cool. Then I proceeded to play withit. Believe it or not, I really did enjoy it. I actually had fun and I think myinner child was happy.

Since then I've found myself doing the strangest things. Recently onmy way into a restaurant, I walked past a bicycleshop and stopped dead in my tracks. There in thewindow was the coolest pink girl's bike I'd everseen. It had pink striped fenders and seat, a pinkhorn, and pink tassels dangling off the handlebars. It was awesome! At first I wasn't sure whymy mouth was hanging open over some pinkbike. I don't even ride bikes anymore. Then I real-ized it wasn't adult Melanie that was in awe, itwas little Melanie. So I stood there for a few extraseconds and let her take it all in.

I've taken up painting again, something I did asa child. And it's not only relaxing for me, but funfor her too. I try not to get caught up in making itperfect. Just paint and enjoy whatever comes out.

I've gone to the sea turtle rehabilitation center in Juno to see my littleturtle friends and chat them up a bit. The employees there must think I'mcrazy, but to tell you the truth, I really don't care. Little Melanie and I arehaving a good time. And amazingly enough, I'm happier. Isn't that whatreally matters.

So go out. Buy your inner child some M&Ms, go to the fair, ride yourbike, and have some fun.----Melanie M.

{The Solution News encourages its readers to submit articles, poems, etcand will publish a reader’s submission in every issue}

Our Readers WriteWhat Have You Done For Me Lately?

Taking Care Of Your Inner Child

31

MEL B. The One-Minute SolutionWe hear at meetings thatgratitude will help eliminateself-pity and resentment, aswell as some of the otherdemons that seem to afflictalcoholics even in sobriety.But how does it work inpractice? Is there a quick,easy way to put this principleinto operation?

I think I stumbled onto theone-minute solution for self-pity back in the winter of1988. Our daughter, Lynne,was in her first semester atKent State University, and Ihad driven from Toledo,

Ohio, to bring her home for the Christmas holidays. But first I had goneto Cleveland for a brief businesscall and began encountering con-siderable snow as I headed southtoward Kent, Ohio.

When I arrived on the campus, Idiscovered that I had to park aboutseventy-five yards from Lynne'sdormitory. The snow was gettingworse, and I had not brought over-shoes. I also discovered that Lynnehad to take mountains of clothes home because of some college rule thatI didn't understand. I found myself making several trips to the parking lot,staggering under each load of clothes, fearful that I would lose some ofthe garments in the snow. My ankles were cold and wet, and the fiercewind and snow were tearing at my face.

As I struggled, the thought came to me that I was a wonderful dad to behelping Lynne in this way. My second thought was that lots of other dadswere perched in front of the TV drinking beer or weren't even around toassist their children. My third self-congratulatory thought was that I hadbeen a great dad for a long time, as we had previously trekked over toKent State during the five years our oldest son was studying architecture.My wife and I had also put ourselves out for our other two children andour young grandchildren as well. Not bad for a sixty-three-year-old dadwho had once been a high school dropout!

It's hard to pat yourself on the back while struggling through the snowwith loads of clothing, though. And I had no sooner finished praisingmyself when some dark thoughts began to hit me. I thought about myown problems growing up during the Great American Depression, andthe fact that my parents had neither the desire nor the means to send meto college. I lashed myself for my failure to take advantage of the GI Billafter World War II, which gave veterans such as me a generous stipendfor four years of college. I groaned inwardly at the way drinking haddestroyed other educational opportunities. (I had finally received a col-lege degree at age fifty, but that didn't seem to be the same as getting oneat twenty-two. I didn't even recall that my father had sent me congratula-tions and the price of a new watch when I finally got my degree.)

As I continued to let these angry thoughts seethe in my soul, my moodbecame darker and darker. I was feeling really bad, and there were stillmountains of clothes and other items to bring back to the car, which wasnow covered with snow. On top of that, we would have to drive back toToledo under difficult road conditions. My gloom and self-pity deepened.

But then I returned to the dor-mitory and saw Lynne chattingwith her friends and apparent-ly enjoying all the benefits ofcollege life. I suddenly startedto feel grateful that she couldhave this experience and thatshe was making the best of it,as she had done earning hon-ors in high school. I immedi-

ately felt grateful that AA had kept me sober for thirty-nine years so myincome and my wife's earnings could go for such things as tuition, books,and dental care, instead of booze and bad trips. I thought of all the othernice things and experiences our family had, all due to AA. And as mygratitude for this increased, the dark feelings and self-pity simply disap-peared. This probably took all of one minute, but it worked. Snow or nosnow, I suddenly felt great.

Because of road conditions, it took longer than usual to drive the 150miles home to Toledo. But I felt pretty serene and happy all the way. If Istill thought I was a great dad, it was only because AlcoholicsAnonymous had helped me become what a dad should be. Gratitudeworks, if you work it!

Mel B .Toledo, Ohio

We hear at meetings that gratitude will help eliminateself-pity and resentment, as well as some of the otherdemons that seem to afflict alcoholics even in sobri-ety. But how does it work in practice? Is there aquick, easy way to put this principle into operation?

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32

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

Avoid clichés like the plague (they're old hat).

Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

Be more or less specific.

Remarks in brackets (however relevant) are (usually) (butnot always) unnecessary.

Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

No sentence fragments.

Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

Do not be redundant; do not use more words than neces-sary; it's highly superfluous.

One should NEVER generalize.

Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

Don't use no double negatives.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

Kill all exclamation points!!!

Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when itsnot needed.Puns are for children, not groan readers.

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

I saw her sitting at the bar. I approached. "Hello," shesaid in a voice so husky it could pull a dogsled.

Mitzi's wet T-shirt clung to her torso like paint on thenose cone of a jumbo jet.

The sun rose over the horizon like a great big radioactivebaby's head with a bad sunburn, but then again it mightjust have been that Lisa was always cranky this early inthe morning.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots inthe center. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

Just like (or as) a bicycle rider lifts his butt from theseat when he sees a bump coming, so Bob pulled back, emo-tionally, when Alice got angry.

She danced with the grace and elegance of a pregnantcow.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly theway a bowling ball wouldn't. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hum-mingbirds who had also never met.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breakingalliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayolacrayon.

She was sending me more mixed signals than a dyslexicthird-base coach.

She felt used and unwanted, like the two chocolate halvesof an Oreo cookie after someone has already licked thecream out of them.

Rules for English UsageThese rules aren'ttaught in elementary school.

BadAnalogies

33

Here are actual excuses given by people who called in sick(from CareerBuilder.com):Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.

I'm too fat to get into my work pants.

A buffalo escaped from thegame reserve and keptcharging the employee everytime she tried to go to hercar from her house.

I accidentally flushed mykeys down the toilet.

Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.

Employee called from his cell phone, saying that he was acci-dentally locked in a restroom stall and that nobody was aroundto let him out.

I had to help deliver a baby on my way to work.

Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.

Employee's wife said he couldn't come into work because hehad a lot of chores to do around the house.I cut my fingernails too short, they're bleeding and I have togo to the doctor.

God didn't wake me.

One of the walls in the employee's home fell off the nightbefore.

Employee's mother was in jail.

My wheelchair broke down.

A skunk got into the employ-ee's house and sprayed all ofhis uniforms.

Employee had a bad case ofhiccups.

It's way too cold outside toleave the house.

It's way too nice outside to be in the office.

I had race tickets for Sunday's race, which was rained out, sothey are running it today.

Employee blew his nose so hard that his back went out.

Employee's horses got loose and were running down the high-way.

Employee was hit by a bus while walking.

Employee's dog swallowed her bus pass.

My house lock jammed, and I'm locked in.

Calling in Sick?

Employee broke his legsnowboarding off his roof

while drunk.

34CHEF LESTER'S SOBER SIDEBOARD

Praise and Blame are Kissing CousinsPraise and blame often go hand in hand. We

all want to be liked. Yet not everyone is goingto like us. Some people see us one way…oth-ers… another. Dealing with the disapproval ofothers is hard. Remember the cliché aboutpleasing all the people all the time. In an elec-tion one candidate wins another loses. Therewere voters who disapproved of the winner. Itis humbling. Often in recovery we are tryingextra hard to make up for past failings. Wemake amends, but there is only so much we cando.

We each evaluate others differently. Ourview is not always the view of others. Manystruggle against this unavoidable fact.Remember the story of the three blind men andthe elephant? One felt his trunk, one his tail,and the third his leg. Each gave a differentdescription of the elephant. Our approval rat-ing with family, friends, and co-workers isoften varied. We need to share. We all havetroubles, but telling them to everyone, doesn'twork. I remember being told, "Don't tell yourtroubles to just anyone. 50% aren't interestedin YOUR problems and the other 50% thinkYOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVE!” Let'sface the facts…NOT everyone is going to likeus, no matter how SWEET we are. We all wantthe approval of others. When some folks don'tlike us we need to develop an attitude of, "that'sokay!" It happens to all of us. Then, we canbe more grateful and appreciative when we getthe approval for which we are hoping.

There are days when I receive praise andblame. Someone will rave about my cooking.Someone else won't like it. I once preparedand attempted to serve a meal to a ladies churchgroup. I presented them with one of my signa-ture meals. Only as I started serving this lov-

ingly prepared gourmet meal of sirloin beeftips, apricot glazed carrots, and fresh strawber-ry pie was I informed over half of these ladieswere diabetic vegetarians who were allergic tostrawberries!

Some folks hire me to speak or cater anaffair…others don't! One call brings goodnews… another bad. One person comments onwhat a nice person I am and another complainsI am selfish because I haven't returned theirphone call. Some days you can't win for losing.Approval and disapproval is part of life. I pre-fer approval over disapproval. However, themore content I become, the less I depend on theapproval of others.

The food offering in this issue is one I amsure you will appreciate…but if you don't…mylife will go on! This delicious gourmet stuffedpork chop entrée has put smiles on lots of sadsack faces. Grab your apron and head for thekitchen.

GOURMET PORK CHOPS (Serves 4)

INGREDIENTS:2 tablespoons canola oil4 (2 inch thick) rib pork chops2 Tbs Dijon mustard mixed with 2 tablespoonsfruit jam (orange/apricot-your favorite) 4 thick slices Swiss cheese8 Tbs thawed frozen spinach8 thin slices ham4 toothpicks1 cup flour2 cups Japanese bread crumbs (Panko)3 eggs (beaten)Kosher or sea salt and fresh ground black pep-per

PREPARATION:

1) Heat oven to 400 F. 2) Cut a pocket in theround side of each chop. Lightly salt and pep-per each chop then spread some of the mus-tard/jam mix inside the pocket. 3) Heat the oilto medium in an oven proof fry pan. 4) Topeach cheese slice with thawed spinach andwrap with 2 slices of the ham. Tuck a hampackage in the slit in the chops and secure witha toothpick. 5) Set out the bowl of beaten eggsthen place the flour in a lipped plate and breadcrumbs in another. 6) Dredge each chop inflour then dip into the beaten egg. Next pressa handful of bread crumbs onto each chop. 7)Fry the chops until lightly brown on each side.Transfer the pan to the oven and bake approxi-mately 20 minutes until done.

SERVE:

Place chops on a chop platter. We like to useapricot jam for the mustard/jam mixture so weserve and decorate our platter with apricots.Side dishes that are great with this are top of thestove herb stuffing and fresh asparagus. If youwant to precede this entrée with a soup we rec-ommend a corn chowder and a great saladwould be any combination of salad greens withred and yellow tomatoes. Finish with sorbetand coffee. Call your herd to the table and allthe lil' piglets will be oinking your praises with:"That's DEE-licious!" …"Try it…your tummywill be glad you did!

*********************Chef Lester, author, columnist, and televisionhost chef is a graduate of the Culinary ArtsAcademy. Questions, comments, and sugges-tions? E-mail: [email protected]

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The Solution Directory 35

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36

Crime Doesn’t PayMotorist Stopped by Police

For LaughingA Liverpool motorist was stopped by apolice officer and questioned - for laugh-ing at the wheel of his car. GarySaunders was using a hands-free phonewhen he burst out laughing at a joke toldby his brother-in-law. A few momentslater he noticed a traffic officer flash-ing his lights at him and gesticulating athim to stop his Renault. When MrSaunders got out of his car, the police-man told him: "Laughing while driving acar can be an offence." The officer spenthalf an hour questioning the companydirector and ordered him to produce hislicence and other documents at a policestation. Mr Saunders, managing directorof Spontex Workwear, said the delaymeant that he missed an importantappointment. "I couldn't believe it whenhe told me I'd been pulled over forlaughing," he said. "I was driving verysafely in the Birkenhead Tunnel and tooka call." He said something funny and I waslaughing - simple as that. I never took myeyes off the road and was in full controlof the car. " I definitely wasn't speedingso I asked what the problem was and hetold me I was laughing too much." SuptKevin Hagger, of the Mersey TunnelsPolice, said: "There is no record of theincident so it seems the gentleman wasjust spoken to by the officer and thematter not taken any further."

Convict CaughtBreaking Into Prison

An escaped prisoner has been arrested inthe US after guards caught him trying tosneak back into the jail. Harry Jackson,25, was spotted trying to slip back intothe prison with 14 packs of cigarettesallegedly stolen from a nearby shop,authorities said. Sheriff Tommy Gregorysaid Jackson had opened the door to the

exercise yard and climbed under a fenceto escape, reports the Daily Telegraph.Officers have alleged that Jacksonwalked a few hundred yards to a conven-ience store, took the cigarettes, andreturned to the prison.Jackson was in jail in Camden County insoutheast Georgia for charges includingpossession of a controlled substance andviolating probation. He now faces newcharges of breaking out of jail and bur-glary.

Toddler 'grassed up' dad

A Canadian marijuana grower was busted- after his 11-month-old son called thepolice.The 29-year-old man had given thelittle boy a phone to play with, reportsthe Globe and Mail. And the little ladaccidentally dialled '911' bringing moun-ties calling to their home in White Rock,British Columbia.

Officers, who thought somebody hadcalled them then hung up, broke down thedoor when their knocks went unan-swered."

The gentleman was quite surprised," saidConstable Janelle Canning. The fatherinsisted he hadn't called the police andclaimed his son was far too young to havemade the call, until officers saw him play-ing with the phone.

"We saw him playing with the cordlessphone and just pressing all the buttons,so evidently he had called 911," Const.Canning said.

With that mystery solved, officersbegan inspecting the residence and soondiscovered a 500-plant marijuana farm.

The father was arrested and faces drugscharges. His young son was taken intocare but later given back to his motherwho does not live with the father.

37

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38

The Recovery Word Search

Chef Lester provides

great recipes so in

his honor we presnt

the culinary delight

word search. See how

many culinary treats

you can find.

Signs of the Times

39

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