The Solution News

The Solution NewsSince 1991

November/December 2009 Happy, Joyous and Always Free!!

Recovery Growth Renewal

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Page 4 - Dave’s Page: Holiday Lessons Page 5 - Holiday ResentmentsPage 6 - Surviving the HolidaysPage 7 - Hotlines and HelplinesPage 8 - Holiday ThoughtsPage 9 - Watershed PagePage 10 & 11 - Events PagePage 12 - Mark Lundholm in West PalmPage 14 - Penelope Love: Everybody’s Doing ItPage 15 - Phil C. - It Is What It IsPage 16 - Rebecca B. - The GiftPage 18 - Quitting Smoking

Page 23 - Sanity Is Coming To TownPage 24 - Holiday BluesPage 26 - Volunteer OpportunitiesPage 27 - Volunteer OpportunitiesPage 28 - Thanksgiving LaughsPage 30 - Christmas ChucklesPage 31 - Hanukkah Humor

Page 32 - Enough Holidays? Wait T’il January!!Page 33 - Soda Pop Santa?Page 34 - Chef Lester’s Sober SideboardPage 36 - Is Santa An Alcoholic?Page 38 - Parting Shots

The Solution News Contents3

I put down my last drink in September of1977. All through the first three months of mysobriety I was obsessed with the thought of howI was going to get through the holidays withouta drink. I was told to stay in the moment, to con-centrate on the day at hand, to take my days oneday at a time. My sponsor told me that for analcoholic a holiday was just another day.

I was far away from my family. The manylosses brought on by my disease were magnifiedtenfold at the holiday season, as was the pain ofearly recovery. The holidays were the true test ofmy resolve to stay sober that first year.Experience is a great teacher and some of thegreatest lessons in my recovery were learned atthat time.

I learned about The Fellowship of AA. Bystaying close to the people in my home groupoutside the meeting halls, I was able to associatewith AA people throughout the holidays. Wehad Thanksgiving at the home of a newly sober

couple. They invited several people who hadnowhere to be on that day to their home. We allcooked, watched football, talked program andlaughed over “war stories”, our common bond.After dinner we went to a meeting and then backto the house for dessert and more coffee andconversation. When I woke up late Friday morn-ing I was surprised to realize that I had made itthrough the first of the three holidays sober.

Christmas taught me how to ask for help. Asthe day approached I used the meetings toexpress my growing anxiety about being aloneon Christmas. As a result a new friend invitedme to his home on Christmas Day. He had sevenkids, very little money and was newly soberhimself. Yet when the gifts were opened thatmorning there was one with my name on it. Iwas absorbed into his family and spent the dayputting together toys, playing with his kids andof course going to several meetings. The previ-ous year I had spent alone with a case of beerand a TV dinner. By asking for help I was ableto experience the unconditional love offered bymy friend and his family. Another holiday hadcome and gone and I still hadn’t had a drink.

New Year’s Eve taught me about getting out-side of myself and helping others. In our area itwas customary to have “alkathons” which weremarathon meetings. The meetings were put onby individual groups each hour and offered foodand plenty of coffee. My home group signed upfor the midnight time slot on New Year’s Eve atCambridge City Hospital. About ten of us piledinto two cars early that evening. We stopped at anice restaurant for dinner and then took the hourdrive to Cambridge.

This inner city meeting was held in a smokefilled, cold basement. There were several hun-dred people there and the speakers were fre-quently interrupted by the sound of wine bottles

dropping on the floor. For many of the activewinos the sandwiches and relative warmth of thehall represented the total of food and shelter intheir lives. Their presence helped me to“remember when” and filled me with gratitudefor my newfound gift of sobriety.

I had made it through the holidays. I hadlearned about fellowship, how to ask for helpand how to get outside of myself and care forothers. Were these holidays “just another day”as my sponsor had suggested or were they, infact, holiday gifts from my Higher Power?

Dave F. 10/2003

It has become a holiday tradition to reprintthis article each year and each year it becomesmor meaningful to me. This is especially truethis year as my return to New Hampshire andthe success after many years of the website solu-tionnews.org are two more gifts from a lovingHigher Power.

At this time of year we give thanks onThanksgiving and gifts on Christmas andHannukah. This is something those of us work-ing a program do every day. It is especiallyimportant to give back what we have been sofreely given and as in every holiday issue thisyear you will find two pages of places to volun-teer time or money.

I truly believe that if we have our sobriety,our health and our friends and family everythingelse is just conversation. I am truly blessed thisyear with all of these things so it is importantthat I be kind and helpful to those who don’t.May the New Year allow me not to take forgranted my gifts and allow me to redouble myefforts at sharing them with those in need. Havea happy, healthy and prosperous New Year and asafe and sober holiday season.

--Dave F.

"Holiday Lessons"Dave’s

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Celebrating the holiday season in his drinkingdays, which lasted over 30 years, Dennisloathed the holidays. "My anxiety began build-ing before Thanksgiving, and by New Year's Iwas usually drunk, disappointed and angry."

As Dennis discovered, expectation and resent-ment are lethal emotions that fuel an alcoholic'salready distorted thinking by providing a falserationale for drinking.

"I expected my family to argue about politics,religion, or whatever when we got together,"Dennis said, "and I resented the fact that myparents were teetotalers who I thought sat injudgment of me. So I'd brace myself for hol-iday gatherings by coming there pretty high.I'd bait the relatives by bringing up topics Iknew would push everyone's buttons, and I'djustify my drinking by telling myself myfamily expected me to be drunk, so why dis-appoint them?"

Dennis has been sober now for almost 20years, and with recovery came a clarity thathas helped him appreciate--even welcome--the holidays and the time he spends celebrat-ing them with his family.

Said Dennis: "A light went off for me at aTwelve Step meeting when someone describedan expectation as a 'premeditated resentment,'and then said resentment is letting someone live'rent-free' in your head. Resentments and expec-tations--unrealistic or otherwise--were handyexcuses for numbing myself with alcohol ordrugs, but they have no place now in my recov-ery."

It took him several years, but as Dennis gotmore solid in recovery, he said he worked up the

courage to introduce a practice at family dinnersthat has now become tradition. "We neverbegan the big family dinners with prayer, so itwas a little scary for me to suggest a mealtimegrace," said Dennis. "But I asked people to takea moment for a simple blessing. I had themrepeat each line after me and said: 'We givethanks for being/We give thanks for beinghere/We give thanks for being here together.' It's

straightforward and doesn't offend anyone, andit seems to center on us. In my recovery group,we talk a lot about adopting an 'attitude of grat-itude.' That's what happens with this littleprayer."

"KISS" is a popular acronym in recoverygroups that means "Keep it simple, sweetheart."This saying, like Dennis' prayer, reminds us tolet go of the external stressors and pressures thattoo often overwhelm us, particularly during theholidays. This year especially, many people areburdened by uncertainty and worry about jobs,

money and the future. Perhaps it is the perfecttime to practice "KISSing."

Slick marketers encourage us to "shop 'til youdrop" during the holidays and would have usbelieve that more is better and big is better yet.Be daring this year and prove them wrong."Holiday" comes from an Old-English wordmeaning "holy day." Instead of spending money

that we don't have on gifts people don't real-ly need, maybe we could use those shoppinghours to come up with some ideas that ignitethe true spirit of the holidays. Who among uswould not value a heart-felt letter from aloved one, a poem, a quiet talk with a friend,or some other goodwill gesture more thanthose slippers or tie we can do without? Howmany of us can recall laughter-filled timeswhen we went sledding or played a favoriteboard game with family instead of rushingthrough a big meal so we can open themound of holiday presents?

Instead of worrying about buying gifts thisyear, we might try being gifts by doingsomething special for someone. As Dennisdiscovered when he gave himself and hisfamily the gift of his recovery, these are the

treasures that really matter. These are the giftsthat keep on giving.

ADVANCED RECOVERY CENTER1300 Park of Commerce, Delray Beach, FL 33435

Phone: 561-274-7417 Fax: 561-274-8715TOLL FREE: 1-877-ARC-HOPE

“Advanced extended care for the complicated and treatment-resistant addict.”TO TAKE A VIRTUAL TOUR GO TO: www.arc-hope.net

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Let Go of Resentment, Let in the True Spirit of the Holidays

This article and articles on pages 6 and12 are from Hezelden’s Alive and Freefound on their great websiteHazelden.org. Thanks to Halzelden forpermission to reprint these articles.

In the mid-1980s, an essay by RobertFulghum titled "All I Really Need to Know ILearned in Kindergarten" became immenselypopular. In it, Fulghum suggests that the worldwould be a better place if adults still adhered tothe lessons they learned as children, like playingfair and sharing.

Twelve Step group is like kindergartenfor recovering people--a safe place where theylearn basic life truths and rules that help keepthem sane and sober. Much of this wisdomcomes in the form of slogans or sayings that canresonate far beyond the walls of a recoverygroup meeting. Like Fulghum's list of lessons,Twelve Step teachings can serve as practicalreminders to all of us about how to be and act inthe world.

Some Twelve Step insights can be par-ticularly useful as we approach this holiday sea-son--a time often fraught with stress, family ten-sions, and unmet expectations. For example,slogans like "Easy does it," "Keep it simplesweetheart (KISS)," "Practice an attitude ofgratitude," and alliterations like the "Seven Ts:Take time to think the thing through," remind usto slow down, pare down, and pause before wehurry about, driving ourselves (and no doubtthose around us) crazy. Instead of getting caughtup in the commercialized version of the holi-days, try to recapture the meaning and magic ofthe season. Make a gift. Better yet, be a gift bydoing something special for someone. Sing.Dance. Hug. Visit an elderly person. Write let-ters telling loved ones what you value mostabout them.

Twelve Step participants are often told,"When you're home by yourself, you're behindenemy lines," or "If you share your pain you cutit in half, if you don't you double it." Others maysay, "My head is like a bad neighborhood and I

shouldn't go in there alone." They realize theimportance of having a healthy and honest sup-port system--especially during the holidays.They know to develop strategies for situations

that might jeopardize their recovery. Foodaddicts might eat a healthy meal before going toa holiday party. Alcoholics might ask an AAbuddy to accompany them to a place whereliquor will be served. Others may opt out ofgoing to a stressful gathering with a dysfunc-tional family and choose instead to go to aTwelve Step meeting.

Recovering folks are also cautious aboutmaking New Year's resolutions because they canbe recipes for disappointment. As one recover-ing person put it, "For me, resolutions are about

willpower, but AA has shown me that I can'tcontrol everything. Resolutions set you up for‘if only' thinking. You will yourself to loseweight, for example, thinking that if you do, youwill be happy. But I've already spent too manyyears trying to meet impossible standards ofwhat I thought I was expected to be instead ofcelebrating and building on who I am."

When we learn not to obsess about agoal but instead celebrate the journey, we canbetter embrace the Twelve Step philosophy of"progress, not perfection." We recognize that weare imperfect beings who move forward oneday, one experience, and even one mistake at atime.

Twelve Steppers are sometimes remind-ed to "Take the cotton out of your ears and put itin your mouth" or that "Anger is only one letteraway from danger"--wise cautions for those ofus who might have trouble holding our tonguesat a holiday dinner when an irksome relativegets under our skin. Unsettling scenes can oftenbe averted if we embrace another AA saying, "Ifyou can't love everybody today, at least try notto hurt anybody."

Ultimately, happy holidays are aboutmaking healthy choices, a truism exemplified ina parable sometimes shared at Twelve Stepmeetings. A Native American grandfather toldhis grandchild, "Sometimes I feel as if I havetwo wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf isvengeful, angry, and violent. The other is lovingand compassionate." When the grandchild askedwhich wolf would win the fight, the wise grand-father replied, "The one I feed."

Holidays can be laden with chaos, anxi-ety and anger, or they can be opportunities forauthentic connections, spiritual reflection, andjoy. Which wolf will you feed this holiday sea-son? The choice is yours.

All I really need to know (to survive the holidays) I learned at a Twelve Step Meeting group'

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AA BROWARD COUNTY 954-462-0265AA FLORIDA KEYS 305-296-8654AA HOTLINE, North Palm Beach 561-655-5700

AA HOTLINE, South Palm Beach 561-276-4581AA HOTLINE Broward 954-462-0265

954-462-7202

AA MIAMI DADE 305-371-7784

ABUSE REGISTRY 800-962-2873

ADD PARENTS SUPPORT 954-473-8644

AL ANON HOTLINE, Palm Beach 561-278-3481

AL ANON HOTLINE, Broward 954-491-1915AL-ANON/AL-ATEEN 8884ALANON

ALIEN ABDUCTION SUPPORT GROUP 954-698-6926

ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION 954-726-0002

ALZHEIMER’S COMMUNITY CARE 561-278-6649AT RISK YOUTH PROGRAM 727-726-8829BIG BROTHERS & SISTERS 561-966-4120CAPITOL CITY YOUTH SERVICES 850-576-6000

CATHOLIC DIOCESE OF ORLANDO 407-658-1818

CDC NATIONAL AIDS HOTLINE 800-342-2437CHILD ABUSE HOTLINE 800-4ACHILD

COCAINE ANONYMOUS 954-779-7272 CODEPENDENTS ABNONYMOUS 800-254-1333 CONSUMER HOTLINE 800-848-3792COSA (co-dependents of sex addicts) 763-537-6904COUNCIL ON COMPULSIVE GAMBLING 800-426-7711

CRIMESTOPPERS 800-458-TIPSCRIME LINE 800-423TIPS

DASH (Divorced and Separated Help) 561-451-2312

DEBTOR’S ANONYMOUS 954.925.4068DEPRESSION & BIPOLAR SUPPORT 813-878-2906DEPRESSION AND MANIC DEPRESSION 954-746-2055

DEPRESSION - OVER 55 954-746-2055FAMILY CAREGIVER PROGRAM 305-292-8445FLA. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 800-500-1119

FLORIDA BAR LAWYER’S REFERRAL 800-342-8011

FLORIDA HIV/AIDS HOTLINE 800-FLA-AIDS

FLORIDA INJURY HELPLINE 800-510-5553FLORIDA INTERGROUP AA 407-276-4581FOOD ADDICTS IN RECOVERY 1-866-325-0500FLORIDA PET GREIF SUPPORT 352-392-4700GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS 800-891-1740HEPATITIS-B HOTLINE 800-891-0707

HEPATITIS HOTLINE 800-545-2437HIV/AIDS HOTLINE 800-352-2437HOSPICE 954-467-7423HOSPICE/HOMECARE BY THE SEA 800-3923189JEWISH FAMILY& CHILD SERV 561-684-8443LAWYER ASSISTANCE 800-282-8981RECOVERY, INC 561-642-1722LUPUS FOUNDATION OF S. FLORIDA 561-279-8606MARIJUANA ANON. 800-766-6779MIAMI HELPLINES 305-358-4357

MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS FOUNDATION 800-441-7055

NTNL. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 800-799-SAFENAR-ANON, Broward 954-584-6578

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Palm Beach 561-848-6262NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS, Broward 954-476-9297NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS gold coast 954-476-9297

NAT. CTR. ELDERLY ABUSE 800-96-ABUSE

NATIONAL RUNAWAYSWITCHBOARD 800-RUNAWAY

NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE 800-SUICIDEOBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER 954-746-2055

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS, Palm Beach 800-273-1696

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS, Broward 954-476-9297

The Solution News640 Beacon Street, Manchester, NH, 03104

Phone: 561-305-3380 Email: [email protected]: solutionnews.org

The Solution is not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous or any other 12 Step Program although our content isdirected towards those who have found the 12 Step philosophy to be a significant factor in their lives. The SolutionNews published by Sobersolution six times a year for people actively working on their physical, mental, emotion-al and spiritual well being. We are committed through articles and advertising to provide a broad spectrum ofrecovery, renewal and growth information. The opinions and facts are those of the writers and contributors. Weseek to attract advertisers who represent their products and services with integrity but we urge readers to be wiseconsumers.

Hotlines and Helplines

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ThanksgivingThe pilgrims made seven times moregraves than huts ...nevertheless, set aside aday of thanksgiving. --H. W. Westermayer

We give thanks for unknown blessingsalready on their way. --ritual chant

What we’re really talking about is a won-derful day set aside on the fourth Thursdayof November when no one diets. I mean,why else would they call it Thanks-giving? --Erma Bombeck

Got no check books, got no banks. Still I’dlike to express my thanks - I got the sun inthe mornin’ and the moon at night. --Irving Berlin

An optimist is a person who starts a newdiet on Thanksgiving Day. --Irv Kupcinet

The unthankful heart... discovers no mer-cies; but let the thankful heart sweepthrough the day and, as the magnet findsthe iron, so it will find, in every hour, someheavenly blessings! --Henry Ward Beecher

Do not get tired of doing what is good.Don’t get discouraged and give up, for wewill reap a harvest of blessing at the appro-priate time. --Galatians 6:9

May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs! --Unknown

God gave us our relatives; thank God wecan choose our friends. --Ethel Watts Mumford

On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge ourdependence. --William Jennings Bryan

Not what we say about our blessings, buthow we use them, is the true measure ofour thanksgiving. --W.T. Purkiser

ChristmasChristmas is a time when everybody wantshis past forgotten and his present remem-bered.--Anonymous

What I don’t like about office Christmasparties is looking for a job the next day. --Phyllis Diller

Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration isbeing wreathed in smiles. --Unknown

What do you call people who are afraid ofSanta Claus? Claustrophobic. --Unknown

Christmas waves a magic wand over thisworld, and behold, everything is softer andmore beautiful. --Norman Vincent Peale

As we struggle with shopping lists andinvitations, compounded by December'sbad weather, it is good to be reminded thatthere are people in our lives who are worththis aggravation, and people to whom weare worth the same.-- Donald E. Westlake

A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one oflong-standing. --Unknown

Christmas is the season for kindling the fireof hospitality in the hall, the genial flameof charity in the heart. --Washington Irving

A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; Itmakes no noise at all, But softly gives itselfaway; While quite unselfish, it grows small. --Eva K. Logue

We're having something a little differentthis year for Thanksgiving. Instead of aturkey, we're having a swan. You get morestuffing.---Gearge Carlin

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, wheneaten on certain religious anniversaries hasthe peculiar property of attesting piety andgratitude.---Ambrose Bierce

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it'scompulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we allgo through it together.-- Garrison Keillor

Holiday Thoughts

TherapistsAre you looking for a place where the concept of "team" has deepermeaning? We are looking for caring, insightful therapists who are com-mitted to the highest quality care for our patients and who have thedesire to support those who are struggling with addiction. Our facili-ties offer our patients comfortable and safe surroundings to begin theirjourney of recovery. The Watershed is Joint Commission accreditedand fully licensed by the State of Florida. Our therapists provide indi-vidual and group counseling to patients in our inpatient treatment pro-gram. The therapist is able to develop a relationship with the patientthat begins in detox and lasts throughout the entire length of stay. Thetherapist functions within the limits of their licensure, registrationand/or certification. Graduation from an accredited college or univer-sity with a Masters Degree in a health-related discipline; licensedand/or accredited applicants preferred. Experience with chemicaldependency and/or dual diagnosis programs preferred. The Watershedwelcomes recovering individuals to apply! Recovering individualsmust have a minimum of 1 full year of abstinence from drugs/alcoholto eligible for employment. Call-Back Representatives

We are currently seeking hard working, customer service orientedindividuals with excellent communication skills to become membersof our team. The Call-Back Representatives will work collaborative-ly with the Admissions Coordinators in order to admit new patientsinto our treatment facilities. This position involves making follow-upcalls to individuals who have previously called The Watershed seek-ing treatment but were never admitted into our facility. Our goal is toreach out to those who may have avoided treatment in the past andassist them with their struggles of addiction, by offering our treatmentservices. This position is full-time with some weekends involved &located in our Delray Beach, corporate building.A year or more of 12-step recovery experience is very beneficial to anyone working in thisposition. Prior call-center and/or healthcare experience are a plus!

Alumni CoordinatorsThe Watershed’s newest department is that of the Alumni coordinators!Coordinators main focus is in making contact with ALL of Watershed’salumni dating back to it’s doors opening in 1998! Through this effort anyalumni who may have encountered relapse and needs help can be givena means to get back into their recovery and those who are maintainingrecovery can be orientated to our current program which offers a varietyof services, activities and opportunities to our alumni & theirfamilies.Work hours currently are: Mon.-Fri. 10am to 6pm at our officein Delray Beach. Six months or more of active 12-step recovery is need-ed and being an alumnus of The Watershed is preferred. Having basiccomputer & phone skills is a plus.

The Watershed is a Drug Free Workplace and an Equal Opportunity Employer. For more information, please visit:www.thewatershed.com. To apply, please go to www.thewatershed.jobs.

Calling All Alumni!Are you a graduate of The Watershed Treatment Programs? Do you have an interest in personal growth in your recovery? Would you like to be able to helpothers, even as you were helped? If the answer to any or all of these questions is "YES", then we want to hear from you! The Watershed has a unique oneof a kind Alumni Program that is quite literally filled with events, activities & services for you. It is a place to find support, fellowship and numerous waysfor you to be able to reach out and help others. We currently have over 2,500 registered alumni members around the country and we want YOU to be a partof this community! Our Alumni Web Site now has over 800 members. If you would like to learn more, register and become active, go to www.watershedalum-ni.com to learn more about The Watershed’s Alumni Program. As a member of our web site you will be able to connect with other alumni AND find out moreabout other Alumni Programs and Events available to you, such as The Life Saver’s Club! You are also able to access pictures, the Alumni Newsletters, con-tribute to forums and celebrate alumni anniversaries with us! UPDATE: We have EXCITING NEWS!!! Coming around mid-winter, the Alumni Departmentwill actually have a NEW WEBSITE that will be MUCH larger and with far more capabilities than that of our current site. It is under development now andwill be run much like Facebook, to allow alumni greater communication ability with each other and more creative freedom to interact and express your ownunique individuality. The site will be set up securely with individual areas for "Alumni Only", "Family Only" and then a "Common Area" where everyonecan meet and share together. Keep your eyes and ears open for our kick off date! We have the Alumni Speaker Meetings EVERY SATURDAY from 9:30amto 11:30am at BOTH the BOCA and BOYNTON facilities. You MUST have 90 days clean and sober to speak. If you are a new alumnus with less than 90days in recovery, we have special support meetings just for you! We have ALUMNI SUPPORT and ALUMNI MENTORING meetings at THE WATERSHEDAPARTMENTS in Lake Worth, FL from 9:30 to 11:30am under the tent by the volleyball court. ALL ALUMNI with less than 90 days should attend. Fordirections or further information or questions, contact Rebecca Balko at the contact information listed below. Last but not least�if you are an alumnus andhave an interest in working in the field of addiction recovery and/or in our Alumni Department, The Watershed wants to hear from you! If you are interest-ed in seeking employment you can either contact Rebecca Balko or go directly to our web site at www.thewatershed.com and go to Human Resources to placean "on line" application. We look forward to hearing from you! You can contact Rebecca Balko at: [email protected] (or write) 200 Congress ParkDr. Suite 101 Delray Beach, FL 33445 (PHONE: 877-416-9566 ext.8204)

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Behavioral Health TechsAre you a caring, compassionate individual? Are you able to providesupervision and support for others in a thoughtful, respectful manner?If you have these qualities we encourage you to apply for a position asa Behavioral Health Technician, (BHT). Our BHT's are directlyinvolved in providing quality care for patients as part of the overallteam and are responsible for conducting meetings and providing struc-ture for our patients during their treatment experience. As a BHT youare the frontline staff member, having frequent interactions with thepatients throughout their stay. As a result you are in a position to havea positive impact on the patient's view toward recovery. The averageday for a BHT involves a variety of activities; there isn't a lot of timespent in one place since our patient's care is conducted in differentareas of the facility. The BHT should have a clear sense of personalboundaries and be able to enforce clearly established guidelines.People with their own personal recovery experience are encouraged toapply! Must have a minimum of 12 months of sobriety.

RNS & LPNS For Admissions DepartmentWe are looking for Florida licensed LPNS and RNS who are friendly& compassionate and able to work with alcoholics and addicts. Thehours are a mix of evenings and nights with weekend work involved.We are also looking for an RN to supervise the clinical aspects of thedepartment and work as an integral part of an allied health profession-al’s team.

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EventsCome Join UsFor A HolidayCelebration!

Browse our UniqueHoliday Selections.

Tuesday December 1, 20092:00 pm to 7:00 p.m.

The Serenity Bookstore in theThe Hanley Resource Center

933 45th Street, West Palm Beach, FL20% off Your Entire Purchase

(Excludes professional materials and World Services items)

561-841-1067Serving Holiday Desserts & Coffee

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Events

Women in Recovery Retreat: February 6-7, 2010

Speaker MeetingsRecovery Countdown

DrummingMeditations

Resentment ReleasesIndian Feather Circle of HopeComfortable Chickee DormsLinen and Pillows Provided

Location: Billie Swamp SafariTake Alligator Alley , I-75 from Ft. Lauderdale or Naples to Exit 49 then go 19 miles to park entrance

Arrive Saturday at 8:30 AM - Noon Sunday Includes continental breakfast, lunch and dinner and Sunday continental breakfast.

Cost $100.00Dr. Darlene Silvernail

PO Box 18745,West Palm Beach, FL 33426

561-396-0362

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Comedian Mark Lundholm bringing his 12-Step humor to Hanley Resource Center"A funny, thrilling journey— extremely funny and moving, and when it's over, you wish it would go on for just a little bitlonger." —Oakland Tribune

“YOU’LL LAUGH YOUR HEAD OFF! One of the best comedians I’ve ever seen. A masterful job. Don’t miss it!” —KGO Radio

Called “riveting” by The New York Times, comedian Mark Lundholm comes to Hanley Center on Wednesday, December 2 andThursday, Dec. 3, for two nights of “12-Step Humor” – Wednesday night, the “Before” stories and Thursday night, the“After” stories. Presented by Hanley Center, Lundholm offers a unique comedy perspective of addiction and recovery based on his own expe-riences. Lundholm has appeared on Comedy Central, his own Showtime Special and received rave reviews for his one-man off-Broadway show, Addicted – a comedy of substance. Since 1988, Lundholm has performed in 49 states and five foreign coun-tries. From the Improv Comedy Clubs, to the White House, to the Betty Ford Center, to San Quentin State Prison. He haswritten comedy material for TV pilots and nationally known celebrities.

Excerpt from 2002 Miami Herald profile: Lundholm morphed from an attention-challenged kid he calls ''Ritalin Boy,'' part ofa family so dysfunctional that he chooses ''evil'' to describe life at home in the '60s, into a drug addict, dealer and alcoholic.He did jail time, met and married a woman named Sharon, had a beautiful baby girl named Courtney, then disappeared ontothe streets of Oakland, where he lived in a series of cardboard boxes when he wasn't doing drugs and deals. . .His maybe-this-isn't-working moment came when he broke into a room at a sleazy motel, gazed at a picture of his months-old baby girland put the barrel of a loaded gun in his mouth. The gun jammed. He looked again at Courtney's picture, then went to rehab.It finally took.Lundholm’s appearance at the Hanley Resource Center will benefit Hanley Center’s Lifesaver Patient Aid Fund. This specialfund provides vital financial assistance to those seeking treatment for alcoholism or chemical dependency but are unable toafford treatment due to limited financial resources or restrictions on insurance coverage. Over the years, hundreds of peo-ple have received treatment thanks to this special fund.

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Recovery Bulletin BoardPat’s Cleaning ServiceNo Job Too Big or Small

Patricia DrummondOwner

Fort Lauderdale, [email protected]

The BEACHCOMBERFamily Center For The Treatment Of

Alcoholism and Drug Addiction4493 North Ocean Boulevard

Delray Beach, FL 33483Telephone: 561-734-1818

From Broward County: 421-6226From South Palm Beach County: 276-6226

JOSEPH R. BRYAN, Director

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It's so utterly ironic that while growing up, I swal-lowed the idea that if everybody did something, thenit just wasn't worth doing-an attitude born of myparents' insistence that, given their unique combina-tion of Irish-Italian genes, I should strive to bemore, better and different from the crowd. For morethan two decades, I listened to this nonsense, beforeanxiety attacks awakened me to an uncommon bliss… but not before my body had begun to struggle

with the most primal function of every body-breath.

Take a deep one, because I'm now going to reveal the secret connectionbetween bliss and your breath, a function so close to us that it's generallyoverlooked. This is important, because as you increase your awareness ofbreath, you will discover an ecstasy so sublime that it will supercharge allyour relationships and your love of life beyond your wildest dreams!

Now for the key: Each breath has two significant points-one where breathtouches you viscerally inside your body, and the other where it tickles thattranscendent aspect of you within the cosmos. Most are intimately famil-iar with the first point; yet few know of the latter. And no matter howmuch relaxation the first point of breath may bring you, it is throughknowing the second that you are truly transformed and enter the blissfulrealm of eternal life. Why? Because this pause between the exhale andinhale is a portal beyond the mind and the story of who you alwaysthought you are. To enter through this gateway, all that is required is todesire joy-and thus, in a single conscious breath, the pillars of illusioncrumble, revealing the heavenly ecstasy within.

You have taken many breaths in life, so how can it be that simple? Youhave traveled there before and still have never seen the Promised Land.How come?

Because many yogas and exercise practices systematize breathing forother purposes, to achieve limited goals within a confined context. I once

learned "square breathing" (4 seconds for inhale, hold breath for 4 sec-onds-exhale for 4 seconds and retain air out of lungs for 4 seconds afterthe exhale). Now, I'm certain this helped me to temporarily suppress feel-ings of road rage on my daily commute, yet this and any breathing tech-niques involving counting, measuring or quantifying are engaging theintellect, which simply cannot be present when you're absorbed in thestate of mind-less ecstasy. This transcendent bliss arises when your breathtouches your center-and you consequently feel your center to be every-where. And in the words of Buzz Lightyear, you go "To infinity andbeyond!"

I'd be willing to bet that during the most joyful moments of your life, youwere either breathing deeply or riding the verge of a profound inhale. Infact, I almost began this article with: "One time at band camp…" becauseas a flute player, I always felt my body about to burst with passion witheach practice and performance. Little did I realize, the secret key to ecsta-sy lay not with the hunky baritone player marching in the line behind me,but in my very own breath flowing within me. With the conscious realiza-tion of this, I am again transported to the very ecstasy that has been andforever will be … what a blessed life!

So now it's your turn. In lieu of the re-run holiday dinner table chatter thisyear, you might attune your attention to exchanging tales of life'smoments that once took your breath away. Perhaps you can begin by shar-ing your favorite moment, speaking with feeling in as few words as pos-sible to express your reverence for life. Then ask others to share theirs.Listen deeply and drink in one another's joyous nectar. Utilize your mostpassionate "took my breath away" stories to spread this simple key toecstasy throughout your family and among friends. Everyone will be mer-rier for it. For in being conscious of breath, we become conscious of life'sblessings … and 'tis always the season to be jolly.

**************************Penelope Love instructs tantra internationally and is located in SanGerardo de Dota, Costa Rica. Share your intimate relationship concernsconfidentially with [email protected]

Penelope Love Everybody’s Doing It

15

Phil C. “It Is What It Is”I remember when I first got sober I used to absolutely despise thosewords. Every time something would come up as an obstacle in my path,I would call someone in the program and their response almost every timewas: "It is what it is." Aaarrrggggghhhh!!! Every time! What were theytalking about? And what did they know? I was dealing with somethingvery serious at the time, and all they could tell me was a cheap, senselesslittle saying like: "It is what it is?"

That first year, I faced many little challenges while living in a soberhouse. One time I missed thebus to go to work. One of themain things I learned in thetreatment center was to askfor help when trouble arose.So naturally, I picked up thephone and called someone totell them of my dilemma.And you guessed it - they toldme the same old thing. Iasked them: "What does thatmean? I am going to be latefor work! And I have to workto pay my bills!" And theirresponse was: "It will bewhat it will be." Boy! Wasthat a shock to hear! Ithought they were there tohelp me. Little did I know,they were telling me exactly what I needed to hear and teaching me justwhat I needed to learn.

I was later able to better understand what they meant by that trite state-ment. To my relief, I was finally able to wrap my head around the factthat I wasn't in charge of the outcomes in life. Rather, it was my obliga-tion in recovery to put myself in better positions to accomplish those nec-essary tasks. So if I wanted to make sure that I was on time, it was myresponsibility to allow enough preparation time and arrive to the bus stopin a timely fashion.

As the past few years went by, I have realized that there was also more toit than just my responsibility in these tasks. In fact, it went way beyondthat. I was able to see that it was more about the fact that life's resultsweren't really my business. All I was to be concerned with was gettingup, getting ready and showing up. The rest was really in the Universe'shands.

Now I see a lot of little things come up almost every day. It's like we gaina heightened sense of awareness as we go along. And with that aware-

ness, we can either move for-ward or move backwards.

It seems like every time I get inthe car these days, I catch everylight. Maybe it's only when Idon't leave on time. Or maybeit's because Someone is protect-ing me from an accident up theroad.

It seems like there isn't enoughtime in the day, every day.Maybe it's only when I don't setrealistic goals for myself. Ormaybe it's because Something isprotecting me by keeping mebusy (and out of my crazy head.)

It seems like I sometimes don'thave enough. Maybe it's only when I don't work hard enough that day.Or maybe it's because Somewhere along the way I failed to reflect backon everything I have been blessed with thus far.

So long as I get up every day, work or play as though there is no tomor-row, and keep my feet pointed in the right direction - things are surelygoing to work out - just like they are supposed to. The results aren't up tome. Thank Goodness! Either way, life isn't always what it seems. I findmyself reminding myself that: "It is what it is." And one thing is for cer-tain: "It will be what it will be."

Want to be “Part of The Solution” more than six times a year?Our all new website is available 24/7

solutionnews.orgArchived Columns, Articles, Humor, History, Inspiration and Much More

Check it out. You’ll be glad you did!!

16Rebecca B.

The GiftGazing upward I watched the window above ourbed, as the bushes just on the other sidescratched and tapped against the pane of glass.The wind made a light howling moan that nor-mally would have caused me to drift off into adeep sleep. However, not this night – for on thisnight I was consumed with the excitement andanticipation that went far beyond my six yearold ability to control. I stood on the tip of mytoes in the bed for what must have been the tenthtime. My hands and face pressed eagerly againstthe glass as I strained to look as far as I couldto the left and as far as I could to the right.The cold felt so good against my skin as thefaint smell of chimney smoke made its wayfrom outside the window into my nostrils. Iwas fascinated with the prints created by theheat radiating from my tiny hands as theywere pressed against the glass. Likewise Iwould watch with endless amazement, as thefog caused by my breath, would appear andthen disappear. It was all just too much totake in: With my heart pounding and mymind racing, it was then that I heard her - myolder sister… “Rebecca!!” she said, “Laydown! He won’t come at all unless you go tosleep.” Realizing that she was right… therewere after all, rules that had to be followed!It was all I needed to hear. Quickly I slidback under the covers, pulling them up tight-ly beneath my chin, trying desperately tomake myself sleep. But it was SO hard!What would be there when I woke up?Would it be the gift I wanted? Could it be evenbetter than what I wanted? You see tonight wasthe single most important night in the history ofthe whole world –for tonight was the night thatSanta would come!!!

Everything about Christmas made me happy.Watching all the things my mom did leading upto that day was nothing short of amazing! Ourhome would be filled with the smell of cinna-mon and apple cider. She would decorate eachroom with various holiday items, strategicallyplacing the “Christmas Mouse” for my sisterand me to try and search out. Every room wouldpossess a sweet aroma, as she prepared withlove, various snacks of all sorts - includingchocolate fudge, peanut brittle and my all timefavorite - Buttermilk Fudge! It was absolutelymelt in your mouth good!

Going out with my Dad to find that, “just right”Christmas tree was always a wonderful adven-ture. I loved holding his hand as we walked,with the smell of pine filling the air around us. Itcreated a feeling within me, that everythingabout life in that moment was good. I can

remember my dad laughing as I would agonizeover which tree was the “perfect” tree. Uponarriving home we would begin the best part ofall – DECORATING! Daddy would first put thelights on the tree. Waiting for him to finish wasnext to impossible. Once we got the “go ahead”my sister and I would then delicately take eachornament, (many of which represented years ofhistory in our family), and search out the bestplace for them to hang. The finishing touchwould be the tinsel that we got to spread all over

the tree. Once this was done Mom would put thestar on top and we would turn everything off butthe tree lights. The way the light reflected off thetinsel and metallic glass ornaments into theroom was like magic! With each passing day,there would be more mystery and amazement asnew presents would appear both under or actu-ally in the tree, just waiting to be found. Theweek leading up to Christmas meant being outof school, playing all day and watchingChristmas shows at night like “Rudolph the RedNose Reindeer”; “Miracle on 34th Street” and“Frosty the Snow Man” But the best part of allwas sneaking over to that magical tree when noone was watching, to touch and shake the beau-tifully wrapped presents that bore my name!

Looking back on these memories causes mymind to wander. The past is funny isn’t it?Memories from so long ago, yet flooding backinto my consciousness as if they just happened.Another memory that comes to me is of myvery first 12-step meeting. I was taken from thehospital to the church it was held in. Waiting bythe door for our driver to take us in, overcomeby feelings of both excitement and trepidation, I

peered through the window, looking around asmuch as I could. With a rush of emotion myheart began pounding, my mind racing; I turnedto go and then heard him, “Alright folks! Let’shead in!” I did NOT want to go in and had madea feeble attempt to stand my ground. He leaneddown to me and said, “There are actions youwill have to take if you want to live. Many won-derful things lie ahead of you, but you will notbe able to get them unless you take the firststep.” Deep inside of me I knew that what he

said was the truth and I desperately want-ed those “wonderful things” that he men-tioned.

As we entered into the basement of thatchurch the aroma of coffee and cookiesfilled the air. As we were shown our seatsI watched all the different people whowere performing various jobs. It wasamazing to see because they all justseemed so…happy. Throughout themeeting I heard people share about wherethey had come from, what they weregoing through and all the things that werechanging in their life. My heart beganpounding and my mind racing, howeverthis time for a different reason. I wantedwhat they had. I thought, “Will it happenfor me?”, “Would it be the life I desiredto have?”, “Could it be even better than Ihoped for?” You see this night was thesingle most important night in the history

of the whole world – for on this night I wouldbegin the journey into a new life that I could noteven begin to fathom. As that first meeting cameto a close, everyone got in a circle and heldhands. Within myself I was filled with a feelingof warmth, and everything about life in thatmoment was good.

With newly found vigor and zeal I approachedtreatment and recovery. I wanted it so much! Itwas all I could think about. I got a sponsor andwanted everything to happen fast! Waiting forher to give me step work was next to impossible.With each passing day there was more mysteryand amazement as new truths were revealedwhile still others were just waiting to be found.But the best part of all came when I was givenmy medallion – The one I had touched so manytimes when I thought no one was looking. It rep-resented something I could not have grasped inthe beginning… that of a gift freely given tothose who would have it and the promise of anew and amazing life.

(Rebecca B)[email protected]

17

The Watershed WELCOMES YOU to become a member ofour newest and most innovative program yet…..............

THE LIFE SAVER'S CLUB!!!In its most condensed definition - The Life Saver's Club is a service that allows its members, (YOU), the tools and support tohelp those people in your life currently caught in the grips of the progressive and fatal disease of addiction…to get the very lifesaving help that they need. Along with this, the Life Saver's Club will also provide its members, (YOU), with services and infor-mation to benefit your life and enable us to recognize you and thank you for the efforts put forth in saving the life of another.

The Watershed desires to have (YOU) become a part of this ground breaking, one of a kind opportunity. Because of this,becoming a member is fast and easy! Simply go to our web site:www.watershedalumni.com - and click on the (Life Saver logo).You will then be prompted to a registration form to complete and then click "submit". It's just that simple!

As a member you will have resources to begin accessing information for support, to answer questions and enable you in yourefforts to help others get the assistance that they need. Upon registering, you will receive a packet with information, Life Saver'sClub Assistance cards to aid you in helping others and a gift just for joining! There is also a gift for making referrals, and in theevent your referral comes in to the Watershed for treatment - A brick with you name will be placed at a designated site at ourPalm Beach facility, to memorialize a life that has been saved. (On the Life Saver's Club site you will be able to see the namesof our members, those who've made referrals and those who will have been a part of saving a life.) If the person you are try-ing to help is someone that will not be able to come in to treatment at The Watershed, no worries! We have a full time ResourceStaff that will be ready to help that person locate treatment in their area that will fit into whatever budget or financial situationthey may have.

The Watershed cares about those suffering and desires to help them in whatever way possible. To refer someone for help thereare several options: You can call "with them" to #1-877-97-LIVES; You can call "for them" to get things started or simply pro-vide them with the Life Saver's Club Assistance Card that you will receive. You do NOT have to be an Alumnus of TheWatershed to join. The Life Saver's Club is open to anyone that wishes to be a part of saving the lives of individuals caught inthe grips of addiction. We look forward to hearing from YOU soon!

18

A Life Saving Gift to Yourself: Quitting SmokingMy name is Greg Seward and I am privileged

to bring the message of addressing tobacco andnicotine dependence in recovery from otheraddictions.

Most people who smoke and use other formsof tobacco believe that using it is bad for yourhealth and that with long-term use they mightdevelop problems such as lung cancer oremphysema. Did you know that both Bill W.and Dr. Bob both were smokers and died fromsmoking?

Bill W: “A heavy, sloppy smoker all his ife,he developed emphysema in the 1960s. It killedhim. He gave his last speech to the InternationalAA Convention in Miami in 1970, lifted to theplatform in a wheelchair, gasping for breath andsucking oxygen from the tank that was alwayswithhim.”(Robertson: Inside AlcoholicsAnonymous)In addition to health risks there are other reasonsto look at your smoking and address it – even tolook towards and plan a quit attempt.

Financial:The financial costs really add up. Some brandsin some states approach nearly $10 a pack.Even at one pack per day that adds up to $70 aweek, $300 a month or $3,650 a year. Think ofthe other things you could do with that money:Pay off bills; pay for a cell phone, cable, andinternet each month; take your spouse out todinner each week; the new car payment; start acollege fund, etc. The tobacco companies don’twant you to think about that – they want you tothink that the cost per day is not that bad – but itreally is bad!

Health of others around you – family, friends:The real health dangers of second hand smokehave been well documented. New research iscoming out about the risks of third-hand smoke(what you smell on someone after they smoked).Did you know that second hand smoke kills wellover 40,000 Americas each year, including a 20-to 30-percent increase in the risk of lung cancerfrom secondhand smoke exposure associatedwith living with a smoker? Simply having awindow open and an exhaust fan on does noteliminate this risk.

Health of pets:Veterinarians report that smoking is harmful tocats, dogs, and birds in your home and leads toserious health problems

Improve your chances of long-term sobrietyfrom alcohol and other drugs:

Research has studied the impact of smoking andof quitting on recovery from other substances:

* Tobacco dependence interventions duringaddictions treatment enhanced long-term addic-

tion abstinence by 25% and more are short-termtobacco abstinent

* When looking at relapse to alcohol therewas no difference among treatment groups;Smoking status not related to relapse(Prochaska JJ, et al. 2004)

Employment:

Employers of many types are beginning toaddress tobacco use in the workplace, and forhealth, financial, insurance, productivity, andother reasons they are restricting the use oftobacco in buildings and grounds Hospitals,

schools, colleges and universities, even towndumps and recycling centers are adoptingsmoke-free and tobacco-free campuses.

They know that:

* male smokers miss 3.9 more days of workper year than non-smoking males

* Female smokers miss an additional 2.1 daysof work per year.

* Workplace smoking-cessation programsreduce health care costs, absenteeism costs, on-the-job productivity losses and life insurancecosts.

* Workplace restrictions on smoking havebeen found to be effective in reducing smokeexposure.

The Best Way to Quit:

The combination of FDA-approved medicationplus counseling seems to produce the bestchance of success. However some people havefound success with other ways including taper-ing off of cigarettes or simply going “cold-turkey”. Some also have found that the ongoingsupport of a 12-Step group like Nicotine-Anonymous (Nic-A) to be most helpful in theirrecovery form tobacco and nicotine dependence.Most of the FDA-approved medications aretaken over the course of 8-12 weeks or evenlonger.

The 7 medications approved by the FDA fortreatment for Nicotine Dependence are:

Nicotine Patch* Over the Counter (OTC)

* Comes in three strengths – 21mg, 14mg,and 7mg

Nicotine Gum* OTC* Comes in 2 strengths – 4mg and 2mg

Nicotine Lozenge* OTC* Comes in 2 strengths – 4mg and 2mg

Nicotine Inhaler* Prescription (Rx) required form your doctor

or health care provider.Nicotine Nasal Spray

* Rx neededWellbutrin (Zyban / Bupropion)

* Rx neededChantix (Varenicline / Champix)

* Rx needed

Group support is often the cornerstone of anyrecovery program. Information including meet-ing times and location can be found on theirwebsite – including information on how to starta Nic-A meeting.

Have you heard of Nicotine-Anonymous (Nic-A)?

Nicotine Anonymous is a Non-Profit 12 StepFellowship of men and women helping eachother live nicotine-free lives. NicotineAnonymous welcomes all those seeking free-dom from nicotine addiction, including thoseusing cessation programs and nicotine with-drawal aids. The primary purpose of NicotineAnonymous is to help all those who would liketo cease using tobacco and nicotine products inany form. The Fellowship offers group supportand recovery using the 12 Steps as adapted fromAlcoholics Anonymous to achieve abstinencefrom nicotine.

www.nicotine-anonymous.org

Quitlines:

Quitlines are telephone-based tobacco cessationservices that help tobacco users quit. Servicesoffered by quitlines include coaching and coun-seling, referrals, mailed materials, training tohealthcare providers, Web-based services and,in some instances, free medications such asnicotine replacement therapy (NRT). Thenational quitline can be reached via the internetaddress below or by calling 1-800-QUIT-NOW.

www.naquitline.org

In my next post I will drill down into more of thesuccessful methods of quitting – see you then!

19

Wanna Play? Come on a Gratitude Cruise 561-702-2312

www.sobercelebrations.com

20

NEXTWORKSHOP

DECEMBER 6

21

JO LINDA BROWN [email protected]

OCEANBREEZE COTTAGESSafe Supportive Living

Delray Beach, FL Tel 561-495-1001Cell 561-523-2806 Fax 561-495-1002Call for Info www.obcottages.com

22

23

I looked at myselfAnd what did I see?A little old elfAs drunk as could be,Sanity is coming to town.

Then I said to this man,“Can’t you help yourself?You’d better understandYou’re gonna be a dead elf.”Sanity is coming to town.

So I checked into a center.Treatment was their main event.Sitting there upon the hot seat.Oh, my life was poorly spent.

Oh, it’s How it WorksThat’s keeping me dry.But it’s conscious contactThat’s getting me high.Sanity is coming to town.

Serenity PrayerAnd Think, Think, Think.If I didn’t careI’d drink, drink, drink.Sanity is coming to town.

Oh, I like to think I’m perfect,Serene in every way,But when I get no paycheckI just live from day to day.

When you’re hurting with hateHumility’s great;A little Fourth StepIt’s never too late.Sanity is coming to town.

Character defectsWe have to reject -Attempts to perfectAnd desires to project.Sanity is coming to town.

My sponsor said, “I’ll phone yaIn hopes you’re doing all right.Unless you’ve got pneumonia,Go to meetings both day andnight.”

Oh, it’s How it Works,One Day at a Time.Wisdom and courageJust wasn’t my line.Sanity is coming to town.

I made up a listOf all my amends.It’s a wonder at lastI’ve got any friends.Sanity is coming to town.

Oh, I went to hear a speaker;A drunkalog it was,A problem child turned seekerWho was looking for a cause.

You wanna forgive,Gotta Live and Let Live.If intolerance slips,You’ll get a lot of white chips.Sanity is coming to town.

Get some gratitude thatYou’ll never regret;Forgetting solitudeGets better, you bet!Sanity is coming to town.

I want what you have abruptly.It must be good, of course,To forget my moral bankruptcyAnd my thirty-third divorce.

With a little white chip,Red, yellow, and blue.Hope you never slip,But we’ll still love you.Sanity is coming to town.

It’s telephone calls,It’s marathon talks,Lots of meeting hallsand walking the walk.Sanity is coming to town.

I know when I was drinkingI did not do too well.It screwed up all my thinking;And I always felt like...heck.

Anonymity’s the law;Don’t tell us your name.Who you saw,Or that you came.Sanity is coming to town.

I’ll speak up at a meetingAnd tell ‘em the truth,How I took a beatingFrom my gin and vermouth.Sanity is coming to town.

Oh, I like to read my Big BookAnd they say that that’s okay.I wanna get a new lookLiving only day by day.

I gave up my beer,Said goodbye to my rum.I’d soon have a yearNo longer a bum.Sanity is coming to town.

What we were andWhat we are;If you want what we haveYou’re gonna go far.Sanity is coming to town.

I do my meditationAlmost each and every day.It’s better than medicationAnd the price I’d have to pay.

Shortcomings removed,And the meetings behoovedMe, to get a new startOn this broken-down heart.Sanity is coming to town.

Intitutions and jailsI have to relate;Hospitalization was my fate.Sanity is coming to town.

They say that sanity’s comingTo town this very nightThat’s baffling and cunning‘Cause my mind’s never beentoo right.

Rarely have we seenAnyone fail,Keeping you cleanAnd outta the jail.Sanity is coming to town.

Not hungry, angry,Lonely, tired.Vodka, Sherry,Not desiredSanity is coming totown.

When you wake up inthe a.m.Let you knees first hitthe floor.Put an end to all themayhem,And the things thatmade youpoor.

What and order, yousay,Can’t do it alone.And I’m gonna bestoned.Sanity is coming totown.

Keep it simple, youguys.Easy Does It, no lies.You gotta realize

Fantasizing ain’t wise.Sanity is coming to town.

So, here it is, December.Holidays sure make me blue.I’ll have to just remember:“Keep it Simple” will see methrough.

Principles beforePersonality.No keeping scoreOn the others you see.Sanity is coming to town.

I looked at the promisesAnd said, “Oh gee,Do they come true?”Yes, eventually.Sanity is coming to town.

I know that when I get there,When my life has been eclipsed,Bill W. will be in the Big Chair,Dr. Bob will be doing the chips.

Christmas Marathon fun,Mini-marathon too,Come dance with your honBring a covered dish too.Sanity is coming to town.It gets better, you see,One Day at a Time.With help from H.P.,You’re gonna be fine.Sanity iscoming to town. --Tom. C.

Sanity Is Coming To Town

24

Most people know the holidays can be a periodof emotional highs and lows. Loneliness, anxi-ety, happiness and sadness are common feel-ings, sometimes experienced in startling suc-cession. The bad news is the holiday blues cantrigger relapse for people recovering from alco-holism and other drug addiction. The goodnews is the blues can be remedied by planningahead.

Why do the blues hit during thisotherwise festive season? Doingtoo much or too little and beingseparated from loved ones at thisspecial time can lead to sadnessduring the holiday season. Manyrecovering people associate theholidays with memories ofoverindulgence, perhaps of bigbenders that resulted in relation-ship problems or great personallosses.

People experience feelings ofmelancholy, sadness and grief tied to holidayrecollections. Unlike clinical depression, whichis more severe and can last for months or years,those feelings are temporary, says SueHoisington, a licensed psychologist and execu-tive director of Hazelden's Mental HealthCenters. Anyone experiencing major symptomsof depression, such as persistent sadness, anxi-ety, guilt or helplessness; changes in sleep pat-terns; and a reduction in energy and libido,should seek help from a trusted mental healthprofessional, she adds.

Whether you're in recovery or not, Hoisingtonsuggests developing a holiday plan to help pre-vent the blues, one that will confront unpleas-ant memories before they threaten your holidayexperience. Your plan should include improvedself-care, enhanced support from others, andhealthy ways to celebrate. Hoisington offers afew suggestions to achieve a happy, sober holi-day season:

Good self-care is vital. Remember to slowdown. Take some quiet time each day and workon an attitude of gratitude. Plan relaxation andmeditation into your day, even for a few min-utes, no matter how busy you are. Relax yourstandards and reduce overwhelming demandsand responsibilities.

Don't overindulge. Go easy on the holidaysweets and follow a balanced diet. Monitoryour intake of caffeine, nicotine and sugar.Exercise regularly to help maintain your energylevel amid a busier schedule. Don't try to do toomuch. Get plenty of sleep. Fatigue is a stressor.Maintain some kind of schedule and planahead; don't wait until the last minute to pur-chase gifts or prepare to entertain.

Enhance your support system. Holidays area good time to reach out more frequently toyour therapist, sponsor, spiritual advisor, orsupport group. If you're in recovery, spend timewith fellow recovering people. Let others helpyou realize your personal limits. Learn to say"no" in a way that is comfortable for you.

Find new ways to celebrate. Create some newsymbols and rituals that will help redefine ajoyful holiday season. You might host a holidaygathering for special recovering friends and/or

attend celebrations of your Twelve Step group.Avoid isolation and spend time with people youlike who are not substance users. Don't exposeyourself to unnecessary temptations, such asgatherings where alcohol is the center of enter-tainment. If there are people who have a nega-tive influence on you, avoid them.

Focus on your recovery pro-gram. Holidays are also an impor-tant time to focus on your recov-ery program. For example, ask,"What am I working on in my pro-gram now?" Discuss this withyour sponsor.

Release your resentments.Resentment has been described asallowing a person you dislike tolive in your head, rent-free.Resentments that gain steam dur-ing the holidays can be disastrousfor anyone, especially recoveringpeople. The Big Book of

"Alcoholics Anonymous" refers to resentmentas the No. 1 offender, or the most common fac-tor in failed sobriety.

Holidays may also be a time to evaluate yourspirituality and find a personal way to drawsupport from the spirit of the season. Return theholidays to a spiritual base, and stress thepower of unselfish giving.

Recovery is serious work, but it is also impor-tant to have fun. Laugh a little and a little more.Start seeing the humor in those things thatannoy you. Take from the holiday season whatis important for you and leave the rest.

Tips For Preventing the Holiday Blues, Staying Sober

This article and articles on pages 5 and6 are from Hazelden’s Alive and Freefound on their great websiteHazelden.org. Thanks to Halzelden forpermission to reprint these articles.

25

The Solution Directory

A CHRIST CENTERED 12 STEP PROGRAMEvery Tuesday 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm

RSVP for Free ChildcareNew Children’s Recovery Celebration Station

[email protected],625 Mizner Blvd., Boca Raton, FL 33432

26

Adopt-A-Family of thePalm Beaches needsthrift-store volunteersfrom 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.Thursdays throughSaturdays; a data-entryassistance for a mini-mum of three hours eachweek Mondays throughThursdays; and a tele-phone receptionist from10 a.m. to 2 p.m.Wednesdays. Call (561)253-1361, Ext. 108.

A.G. Holley State Hospital is looking for volunteers to help with patientactivities, including arts and crafts, and help in the library and with out-ings. Volunteers also are needed for clerical tasks. Call (561) 540-3336.

Alzheimer's Community Care is seeking volunteers, senior companionsand interns to work in various Palm Beach County locations. Volunteeropportunities include working with patients in dementia-specific day-careprograms; facilitating support groups for caregivers; and supporting theoffice staff. Call (800) 394-1771.

Arthur Marshall R. Foundation is looking for volunteers to solicitdonations and assist in the planning and preparation of its annual livefund-raising auction and reception. To volunteer, call (561) 805-8733, orvisit www.artmarshall.org

Big Brothers Big Sisters needs mentors. Call (561) 966-4120.

Caridad Center needs doctors and dentists licensed in Florida who canvolunteer their time a few hours each month. Also needed are interpretersand clerical volunteers. Call (561) 853-1621.

The Children's Place at Home Safe needs volunteers to assist staff withmentoring, tutoring, outdoor activities, holding babies and householdchores. Call (561) 832-6185, Ext. 210.

Comprehensive AIDS Program of Palm Beach County needs a dedi-cated, energetic volunteer to coordinate volunteer efforts, recruit volun-teers, conduct training, maintain paperwork and explore volunteer oppor-tunities that will help gain exposure for the agency. Call (561) 472-3022,Ext. 234.

Comprehensive Alcoholism Rehabilitation Program needs volunteersto answer phones, make appointments and assist with filing, data entryand copying. Call (561) 844-6400, Ext. 228.

Daily Bread Food Bank, the South Florida affiliate of America's SecondHarvest and a member of the Florida Association of Food Banks, needsvolunteers to sort food and help with administrative tasks and specialevents. For information, call (561) 659-5070.

Edward J. Healey Rehabilitation and Nursing Center needs volunteersto assist residents during activities, social programs and outings.Volunteer hours are days, some evenings and weekends. Please contact(561) 842-6111, Ext. 2910, or (561) 842-6111, Ext. 2415.

Florence Fuller Child Development Centers needs teacher assistantsfrom 8 to 11:30 a.m. Mondays through Fridays, and volunteers at the thriftshop to sort merchandise, assist customers and run registers. Call (561)391-7274 or (561) 391-9379.

Seagull Industries for the Disabled needs part-time volunteers at theWest Palm Beach and Greenacres thrift stores. Call (561) 433-5553.

Guatemalan-Maya Center needs volunteers to work with childrenbetween the ages of 5 and 12 in the after-school programs in Lake Worthand Boynton Beach. Hours are 2-5 p.m. Call (561) 547-0085.

Habitat for Humanity of Palm Beach County is in need of a Tuesdaymorning office volunteer. Weekday volunteers also are needed for buildsites (8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Wednesdays through Fridays.) Please call (561)833-9665.

Volunteer

27

OpportunitiesThe Haven in Boca Raton is needs adult volunteers to mentor adolescentboys in the residential group home. Call (561) 483-0962.

Hearts and Hope needs volunteers on professional and clerical levels toprovide support for children ages 3 to 17 and their families who haveexperienced the death of a loved one. Call (561) 832-1913.

Hospice by the Sea needs fund-raising volunteers to help with specialevents. Call (561) 416-5007.

Hospice of Palm Beach County volunteers are needed to visit withpatients in their homes, nursing homes, assisted-living facilities and inpa-tient units. Other opportunities include office and clerical support, help-ing in one of our three resale shops, or at fairs and events. Call (561) 227-5167.

John D. MacArthur Beach State Park needs volunteers to drive thetram, work in the gift shop and lead tours and educational programs. Call(561) 624-6952.

Joseph L. Morse Geriatric Center is seeking volunteers to assist its res-idents by transporting residents to activities and appointments; leadingactivities and entertainment programs; for office and clerical assistance;and for help in the dining room. Call (561) 687-5871.

Just Checking Program needs volunteers to help the homebound withvisits, phone calls and chores. Call (561) 540-5651.

The Lord's Place needs retail assistants at thrift stores, receptionists,apartment assistants, helpers at shelters in West Palm Beach and BoyntonBeach, and servers at Cafe Joshua. Call (561) 494-2811, Ext. 140.

Loxahatchee River Historical Society in Jupiter needs tour guides andvolunteers to answer the phone, work in the museum store and takeadmissions. Call (561) 747-6639.

Mental Health Association of Palm Beach County is seeking volunteersfor the Widowed Persons Support Group, Listen to Children Program,Children's Prevention Program, Beacon Center School Program andDrop-in Center. Call (561) 832-3755.

Mounts BotanicalGarden needs volun-teers to assist with spe-cial events, in the giftshop, with gardening andas your guides. Call (561) 233-1755.

Palm Beach CountyAnimal Care & Controlin West Palm Beachneeds volunteers to assistin feeding, walking andsocializing with aban-doned and/or lost petsFor more information or to register for orientation, call (561) 233-1281.

Palm Beach County Literacy Coalition is looking for volunteers to tutoradults who need reading, English and GED help; and provide readingenrichment for school children. Please call (800) 273-1030.

Palm Beach Harvest needs volunteers to give administrative support andtransport food. Call (561) 689-4090.

Palm Beach Medical Auxiliary is seeking volunteers for all positions.Please call (561) 694-7222.

Quantum House needs volunteers Mondays through Saturdays to assistfamilies of children receiving medical care and to help manage the house.Duties include answering phones, sorting mail and welcoming new fami-lies. Please call (561) 494-0515.

Renaissance Learning Center, a charter school for children with autismages 3 to 14, is in need of volunteers to assist teachers in classrooms. Call(561) 776-0961.

Riviera Beach Family Resource Center is seeking volunteer tutors toassist local students, grades 3 through 12, with homework and FCATpreparations. Call (561) 840-1888.

28

Thanksgiving LaughsThanksgiving Weather Forecast

In the pre-Thanksgiving rush, we have received an earlyweather report from our in-house weather reporters. This isone, you should be sure to email your Mom. Turkeys will thawin the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon highnear 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if youbother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoul-der.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of aknife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation ofone to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoeswill drift across one side while cranberrysauce creates slippery spots on the other.Please pass the gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning havebeen issued for the entire area, withincreased stuffiness around the beltway.During the evening, the turkey will diminishand taper off to leftovers, dropping to a lowof 34F in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, highpressure to eat sandwiches will be estab-lished. Flurries of leftovers can be expectedboth days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late inthe day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. Byearly next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wishleft will be the bone.

Things to Do to Liven Up Thanksgiving Dinner

1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss itall in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table.Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake.

2. When everyone goes around to say what they are Thankfulfor, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to sayanything more.

3. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in theVCR when Dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the lasttwo minutes of the game. When he comes into the room, turnoff the VCR and turn on the regular TV.

4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusiveconditions known to exist at turkey farms.

5. During mid-meal turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told youthey wouldn't notice that the Turkey was past expirationdate. You were worried for nothing."

Thanksgiving DivorceEddie in Dallas calls his son in New York just beforeThanksgiving and tells him, 'I am sorry to tell you but yourmother and I are going to be divorcing. I just cannot take anymore of her moaning. We can't stand the sight of each otheranymore.' I am telling you first, Eddie, because you are theeldest, please tell your sister.

When Eddie calls his sister Julie, she says: 'No way are theygetting divorced, I will go over and see them forThanksgiving.'

Julie phones here parents and tells themboth 'You must NOT get divorced. Promiseyou won't do anything until I get over there.I'm calling Eddie, and we'll both be therewith you tomorrow. Until then, don't takeany action, please listen to me', and hangs up.

The father puts down the phone and turns tohis wife and says. 'Good news' he says,'Eddie and Julie are coming for Thanksgivingand they are both paying their own way.

Top Ten Signs You've Eaten TooMuch At Thanksgiving Dinner

(David Letterman)

10. Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbagsaround you.

9. Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17feet tall.

8. You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in theearth's axis.

7. Right this minute you're laughing up pie on the carpet.

6. You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid-July.

5. World's fattest man sends you a telegram, warning you to"back off!"

4. CBS tells you to lose weight or else.

3. Getting off your couch requires help from the fire depart-ment.

2. Every escalator you step on immediately grinds to a halt.

1. You're sweatin' gravy.

29

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30

Merger of Christmas and Hanukkah

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers andacquisitions, it was announced today at a press conferencethat Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry sourcesaid that the deal had been in the works for about 1300years.

While details were not available at press time, it is believedthat the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmasand eight days of Hanukkah was becoming prohibitive for bothsides. By combining forces, we're told, the world will be ableto enjoy consistently high-quality service during the FifteenDays of Chrismukah, as the new holiday is being called.

Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maidsa-milking being the hardest hit. As part of the conditions ofthe agreement, the letters on the dreydl, currently inHebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becomingunintelligible to a wider audience.

Also, instead of translating to "A great miracle happenedthere," the message on the dreydl will be the more generic"Miraculous stuff happens." In exchange, it is believed thatJews will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchan-dising resources for buying and delivering their gifts.

One of the sticking points holding up the agreement for atleast three hundred years was the question of whetherJewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa evenafter having eaten meat for dinner. A breakthrough came lastyear, when Oreos were finally declared to be Kosher. All sidesappeared happy about this.

A spokesman for Christmas, Inc., declined to say whether atakeover of Kwanzaa might not be in the works as well. Hemerely pointed out that,were it not for the independent exis-tence of Kwanzaa, the merger between Christmas andChanukah might indeed be seen as an unfair cornering of theholiday market.

Fortunately for all concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help tomaintain the competitive balance. He then closed the pressconference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of "OyVey, All Ye Faithful."

A Sign of the TimesAs a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked theusual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for aminute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

Christmas MemoTo All EmployeesFrom ManagementSubject Office conduct during the Christmas season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the fol-lowing guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the FederalRevelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to maketinsel is discouraged.

Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (itruns up an incredible long distance bill)

Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."

Company cars are not to be used to go over the river andthrough the woods to Grandma's house.

All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.

Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a HappyHoliday.

A Christmas GiftA guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of hissaid, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fakeJeep?"

Top 10 Things To Say AboutA Christmas Gift You Don't Like

10. Hey! There's a gift!

9. Well, well, well ...

8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would've fit.

7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire seasonthough. There are lots of unexplained fires.5. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

4. I love it -- but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness ProtectionProgram.2. To think -- I got this the year I vowed to give all my giftsto charity.

1. "I really don't deserve this."

Christmas Chuckles

31

Hanukkah HumorThe Eight Days of Hanukkah

(for Amy B.)

On the first night of Hanukkah my true love gave to meLox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the second night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me2 Kosher pickles and Lox, bagels and some cream cheeseOn the third night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me

3 pounds of corned beef2 Kosher pickles andLox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the fourth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me4 potato latkes3 pounds of corned beef2 Kosher pickles andLox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the fifth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me5 bowls of chicken soup4 potato latkes3 pounds of corned beef2 Kosher pickles andLox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the sixth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me6 pickled herrings5 bowls of chicken soup4 potato latkes3 pounds of corned beef2 Kosher pickles andLox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the seventh night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me7 noodle kugels6 pickled herrings5 bowls of chicken soup4 potato latkes3 pounds of corned beef2 Kosher pickles andLox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the eighth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me8 Alka- Seltzer7 noodle kugels6 pickled herrings5 bowls of chicken soup4 potato latkes3 pounds of corned beef2 Kosher pickles andLox, bagels and some cream cheese

PS:For the Israeli version, substitute 1 Falafel ball , 2 spoonsof Hummos, 3 liters of Tehina, 4 plates of salads, 5 glasses ofeshkoliot (grapefruit juice), 6 bags of pita, 7 mouthfuls of fuland 8 greps

Hanukkah GroanerIt was Hanukkah and the tiny village was in fear of not hav-ing any latkes because they had run out of flour.

Rudi, the rabbi, was called upon to help solve the problem.

He said, "don't worry, you can substitute matzo meal for theflour and the latkes will be just as delicious!"

Sheila looks to her husband and says, "Mortey...you think it'llwork?" and Mortey says,

"of course! Everybody knows.........................

Rudolph, the Rab, knows grain dear!"

Top 10 Reasons to Like Hanukkah10. No roof damage from reindeer9. Never a silent night when you're among your Jewish lovedones8. If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven moredays to correct it7. Betting Hanukkah gelt (the chocholate coins) on candleraces6. You can use your fireplace5. Naked spin-the-dreidel games4. Fun waxy buildup on the menorah3. No awkward explanations of virgin birth2. Cheer optional1. No Irving Berlin songs

32

Holidays In January 20101 New Year's Day2 Run up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes Day3 Festival of Sleep Day3 Fruitcake Toss Day3 Humiliation Day4 Trivia Day5 National Bird Day6 Bean Day6 Cuddle Up Day7 Old Rock Day8 Bubble Bath Day8 Male Watcher's Day9 Play God Day10 Peculiar People Day11 Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend's Day12 Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day12 National Pharmacist Day13 International Skeptics Day13 Make Your Dream Come True Day14 Dress Up Your Pet Day15 National Hat Day16 National Nothing Day17 Ditch New Years Resolutions Day18 Thesaurus Day18 Winnie the Pooh Day -The Birthday of Winnie's author A.A. Milne19 Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday , celebrated on the third Monday19 National Popcorn Day20 National Buttercrunch Day20 Penguin Awareness Day21 National Hugging Day21 Squirrel Appreciation Day22 National Blonde Brownie Day23 National Pie Day23 National Handwriting Day23 Measure Your Feet Day- we only ask...."Why!?!"24 Beer Can Appreciation Day24 Compliment Day25 Opposite Day26 Spouse's Day27 Chocolate Cake Day27 Punch the Clock Day28 Fun at Work Day28 National Kazoo Day29 National Puzzle Day29 National Cornchip Day30 National Inane Answering Message Day31 Backward Day31 Inspire Your Heart with Art Day

Had Enough of the Holidays?Just Wait Until January!!

33

Did a Soda-Pop Company Invent Santa?Santa Claus is the Result of a Coke Deal.

No joke. Fat, jolly Santa -- the guy with the red suit and cap, the thickblack belt and sooty boots, the rosy cheeks, the luminous eyes, thebrighter-than-white teeth -- is the spawn of an adver-tising campaign by Coca-Cola back in the 1930s.

Surprised? Don't be. As far as Coca-Cola is con-cerned, this is public knowledge. The company isopen about its role in popularizing Santa; it has evensponsored gallery exhibitions on "Advertising asArt" that explain how it all happened, one of whichwas held at the Carrousel du Louvre, in Paris, in1996. Here's the story:

Back in the late 19th century, when Coca-Cola wasnew, the whole purpose of the beverage was medici-nal. If you were feeling "low" or if you suffered fromheadaches, a Coke was the perfect remedy. The fea-tured ingredient -- cocaine, or coca-bean extract --guaranteed a renewed agility and acuity. Indeed,many people found out about Coke from their pharmacists; the companypaid pharmacists a commission if drugstores allowed them to install a car-bonation tap on the premises.

By the 1930s, Coca-Cola needed to re-evaluate its business plan. Themore controversial aspects of the beverage had long been dealt with (asearly as 1903, coca-bean extract was removed and caffeine took its place),but it was the Depression; beverage sales were slow -- especially in the

wintry months -- and Coca-Cola needed a new hookand line to attract the American market.

So, in 1931, Coca-Cola changed its target audience:from the adult looking for a pharmaceutical pick-me-up to the whole family. Coca-Cola was now a greattaste to be enjoyed by everyone! To bring the pointhome, the company launched an extensive advertisingcampaign that pioneered the use of well-known artistsas ad designers. Coca-Cola blitzed pharmacies andstores with promotional material suitable for the wholefamily.

The most successful illustrations were by a Swedishartist named Haddon Sundblom, whose work depicteda portly white man in a red suit bringing joy to family

and friends with a bottle of Coke. The figure in the illustrations was thefirst modern Santa.

by Seeta Pena Gangadharan

34

CLOSE THE YEAR WITH A FINAL"NO" TO NEGATIVES

This is our final boot to negatives. As thisyear draws to a close we need to remember tobe thankful for the goodness we all haveenjoyed this year. With Thanksgiving,Christmas, New Years and other special daysupon us we want to pause and reflect all thepositive things that helped make our lives bet-ter and us a better person. We want to onlyreflect on the negatives that made us strongerand pray we learned from our mistakes. Wecan direct our paths in sobriety by the way wechoose to feel.

Just as we are always breathing, we arealways thinking. Unless you were out of breathwhen you read the preceding line you probablydidn't consciously think about the fact that youwere breathing. It's the same with thinking.Because we are constantly thinking we are notnecessarily conscious about the fact we arethinking. Thinking comes back to us as feel-ings. Our thoughts determine our state of mind.If we are thinking about unhappy things we areunhappy. If we are thinking happy thoughts weare happy. Our inner conflicts can cause seri-ous problems. We made wrong choices in thepast when we were under stress. No onemakes us happy, sad, jealous, or angry. Theway we chose to think about the situation deter-mines the way we feel.

We can not get angry without first havingangry thoughts. We can not get stressed outwithout first having stressful thoughts. If weare sad, we are having sad thoughts. If we arejealous, we are having jealous thoughts. Wemust first have the thought that produces thefeeling. You get the picture.

We hold negative feelings in place bydwelling on negative thoughts. We can't con-trol the birds flying overhead, but we can keepthem from nesting in our hair. Negativethoughts do occur. Do not stay with them.Remember, "IT IS OUR THINKING THAT ISNEGATIVE NOT OUR LIVES!" This simplerealization can be the first step to putting usback on the path toward happiness. The nexttime we are feeling upset we need to notice ourthinking. We will realize it is negative. Of allthe attitudes we can acquire, the attitude ofgratitude is the most important and by far themost life-changing. As we remember thethings for which we are thankful, there is littleroom for negative thoughts. When a situationoccurs that could dump stress in our lap orstress is creeping up, we try toremember…"WE ARE TOO BLESSED TOBE STRESSED!" It takes practice, but we canget to the point where we treat negativethoughts in much the say way we treat flies at apicnic: we shoo them away! Here's something very positive: a deliciousspiced baked turkey breast that is great for anyoccasion. It is a simple 4 ingredient entrée. Ittakes only a few minutes prep time and then ouroven does the rest. Let's grab our chef's hats,and aprons and turkey waddle to the kitchen.

SPICY BAKED TURKEY BREAST(Serves 4 + more)

INGREDIENTS:1 half turkey breast (2 to 2 1/2 lb.)3 tablespoons Cajun Seasoning1/2 cup melted butter or olive oil1 cup crushed bread crumbs(Heavy foil for baking the breast)

PREPARATION:

Preheat oven to 350. Press the Cajun seasoningonto the turkey breast. Dip the breast in melt-ed butter or olive oil. Roll in bread crumbs.Place on a sheet of heavy foil and bring edgestogether up and over the breast and fold overtwice. Fold ends twice to seal and place pack-et in shallow baking pan. Bake for 1 ½ hours;open foil to expose top of breast and bake addi-tional 30 minutes. Pour the collected juicesinto a small sauce pot and bring to a boil. Makea slurry of cornstarch and water to thicken thejuices to make a marvelous gravy. Let turkeyrest about 5 minutes before slicing.

SERVING:

Arrange the turkey slices on a decorative plat-ter. Sliced oranges make a great garnish. SinceFlorida oranges are at their peek, an orangesalad accompanied by winter vegetables makefor great sides. You can roast a medley of pota-toes, carrots, turnips, parsnips, squash andonions along side the turkey. Pea soup makes agreat first course. Any way you serve thisturkey dish you will have your brood of littlegobblers shaking their "turkey tail feathers" andsinging: "That's DEE-licious!" "Try it…yourtummy will be glad you did!"-Chef Lester

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Chef Lester’s Sober Sideboard

Chef Lester, author, columnist, and televi-sion host chef is a graduate of the CulinaryArts academy. Questions, comments, andsuggestions? E-mail: [email protected]

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36

Santa Claus Is Coming Our WayIf you don't think so, take a good, hard look at the record--and then stand by your telephones! SANTA CLAUS is an alcoholic. That stark

pronouncement may make strong men blanchand little children whimper, but every fact atour command points to its truth. Consider theevidence.

Item: This oddly behaved old man has a rednose and a flushed face, and prances aroundshouting, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" at total strangers. That"Ho! Ho! Ho!" bit is suspicious in itself. As werecall, the complete quotation goes, "Ho! Ho!Ho! and a bottle of rum!" Or something likethat. Now why does Santa leave out part of it?Why is he reluctant to mention the rum? Webelieve it is just an alcoholic's unwillingness totalk about anything related to a drinking prob-lem.

Item: This chap is unshaven and long-haired, and goes about in an old red suit whichis completely out of style. It even has fur on it.Surely, this shows that he has no regard at allfor his personal appearance, and also that heapparently doesn't earn enough to keep himselfin respectable attire. (Or is blowing his wagesfor you-know-what.)

Item: On the subject of money, here is agent who can't make ends meet, yet throwsaway what little he has and goes into hock upto his eyes, besides. Sure, on occasion you andI have bought drinks for the house during ablast, or flowers and toys for the wife and kid-dies after one; but this profligate madmanhands out goodies to everyone in the world.Only a dyed-in-the-wool alcoholic could toss itaway like that.

Item: By all accounts, Santa Claus worksonly one day a year, which is sort of a record,even for someone on the sauce. There's beenmention of certain elves who are reputed towork for him, but we can't verify that theyexist, nor, if they do, that he pays them any-thing. Why his business doesn't go to pot, we'llnever understand--unless it's Mrs. Claus whoholds things together, as the wives of boozersoften do. Of course, she may have money inher own name. Anyway, it remains undeniablethat December 24 is S. C.'s only workday.What he does the other 364, we leave to yourimagination.

Item: Speaking of Mrs. Claus--how comeSanta never takes her out? Is it the problemdrinker's typical disregard for the happiness ofhis family, or does she just refuse to be seenwith him in public? There's something awfullywrong in a household when man and wifenever socialize together.

Item: On the topic of work, how does our

subject go about it? On those long trips hetakes, does he sensibly drive something like aFord or Chevy van? No, he uses a sleigh drawnby reindeer, of all things. Horses we couldunderstand, if he chooses to cling to the oldways; but only a dipso would dream of dashingacross the tundra behind a herd of deer.

And don't forget this--it's common knowl-edge that he's loaded when he leaves home.When he arrives at a house, does he use thefront door, as any moderate two-beer drinkerwould? No, he climbs down the chimney!Typical alcoholic insanity.

There it is, all spelled out for you, so makeyour own decision. We've made ours. This S.Claus is definitely a candidate for the club. Afew kind souls might consider him only a peri-odic lush, since he seems to hang one on justonce a year; but in our own opinion there's a lotof steady, secret guzzling going on up there atthe North Pole, culminating in that mad moon-light jaunt on December 24.

At any rate, you good AAs from Alaska andnorthern Canada please keep listening for yourphone to ring. Somewhere, some time, late atnight, a voice may say, "North Pole is on theline. Will you accept a call, collect?"J. G. T.Negaunee, Michigan

A Letter from Santa Claus(Volume 27 Issue 7,December 1970)

Editors AA Grapevine 468 Park Avenue SouthNew York, N.Y. 10016

SIRS:I'm an easygoing fellow and can take a joke

as well as the next guy. I am sensitive about afew things, however, and you hit on one ofthem in your December 1969 issue. Some nin-compoop had the gall to accuse me of alco-holism!

I am not now, nor have I ever been, an alco-holic. You'll never see me wallowing around inthe gutter with those guys. Why, I don't eventake a drink in the morning. Sure, I have a shotnow and then with the elves, just a sociableglass--but a lush I'm not. I haven't been snock-ered now for, oh, two or three weeks. I would-n't have gotten drunk then, either, but Mrs.Claus, got on my nerves. She keeps pesteringme about the booze, as if I was some kid whocouldn't handle it. That's why I don't take herout often--I have one short one and she's in adither. Who wants to put up with that when he'strying to have a good time? Never thought of

that, did you? You guys are always quick tojudge, never look at the other side of the coin.

I can take it or leave it alone. Generally, Iprefer to take it. Who doesn't? But when I wantto quit, I'll quit. Up here at the Pole, I have todrink a little now and then. This is a desolateplace. Aren't I entitled to a little cheer? I don'tbegrudge anybody else their entertainment.

To be absolutely honest, I'll admit I havehad a bit of trouble in the past. But now I'vewised up and started to control my drinking.I've switched to beer and table wines--you fel-lows ought to know they're harmless enough. Ifthe problem should come back, I'll just clampdown a mite harder. Self-control, that's what ittakes, just like with smoking. I used to smoke apipe, but I've quit. If I can quit smoking, I canquit drinking, right? But for now there's noneed to.

I'll clue you in on what prevents a good,two-fisted drinker from turning into an alco-holic. A steady job. In spite of what that articlesaid, I get out almost every day and work.Keeps my mind off the liquor. I go over to theelves' workshop and give them pointers onspeeding up production and improving theirworkmanship. I may have to quit going overthere, though, because one or two of the elvesact as if a little friendly advice is an insult orsomething. Maybe I'll get a hobby instead.

Everyone knows I'm a great guy--not acoward hiding behind a bottle. Don't I stay upall night making my deliveries to all the tots atChristmastime? Not many people would dothat, now would they? No, I'm okay--I've gotmy thinking straight. I don't need any of youalkies telling me I need help with my drinking.

Just to show you I don't hold grudges: Ifyou'll print a public apology for slandering me,I'll tell my lawyers to go easier on you in court.What's more, if you loosen up long enough forone good fling, I'll let you come to the big NewYear's party I'm holding. Bring your ownbooze, preferably sloe gin or whiskey. It'll beyour last chance to see me drunk, because afterNew Year's I'm tapering off and may eventuallyquit altogether. Who knows?Soberly,Santa Claus

**********Permission to reprint The AA Grapevine, Inc.,copyrighted material in this publication doesnot in any way imply affiliation with orendorsement by either Alcoholics Anonymousor The AA Grapevine, Inc.

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