The Shiznit issue 1

#1SHIZNITTHE

Jeez! whois that broad?i tried everyline and shedidn’t even

flinch

wellhellotheresailor

what’syour

name?

myname is

norris

yep!you ain’t

alone though,nobody’s

got her yet

sigh! NOne ofthese ‘men’

do it for me...say...there’s

a guy whohasn’t tried

his luck...that’s so

sexy...

it’sa cryingshame.gimme

a brandymarvin

oh mygod! do it

againnorris!

no

no

pleeze

i’mbegging

ya!

verywell

allowme toshowyou...

I am anadvanced lifeform.

capable ofreaching instant

orgasm at asingle touch

...justgive me half

an hour and I’ll be ready

to rock

How the Smoking banreally effects you

This was done just as thesmoking ban kicked inand it was a hit. Again, a lot of thecontent was made to appeal to a wide,non comic reading audience.

How the Smokingban really effects youPart two

I found Bifsni� by accident while dossing online and got talking to Frank, the artist. And dramaticas it sounds he changed my life, he built clamnuts.com, hooked me up with a graphics tablet and

started me blogging. Without him I’d still be struggling in so many ways.

LOOK AT LEGO, BACK IN MY DAY

GETTING A BOX OF LEGO MEANT YOU

COULD BUILD WHATEVER YOU WANT

AND CREATE WHATEVER SCENARIOS

YOU WANT BUT IT HAS SLOWLY

CHANGED FROM A FUN BUILDING

TOY TO SOMETHING ELSE...........

THE LEGO MEN USED TO BE SIMPLEAND WITH NO DISTINGUISHING FEATURES.

IDEAL FOR KIDS TO PROJECT CHARACTERSAND PERSONALITIES ON THEM, BUT NOW

THEY ARE FLASH, MULTI JOINTED ANDLOOK LIKE THIS......

THE CHARACTERS ARENOW . KIDS

ARE WHO THEIRLEGO MEN ARE. IT HAS

MUTATED INTO ALICENSED ACTIONFIGURE TOY LINEWHERE FREEDOM

OF CHOICE IS DWINDLING.THERE’S STAR WARS ANDHARRY POTTER LEGO NOW

FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD!

DEFINEDTOLD

THE OLD STYLESETS WITH

HUNDREDS OF INDIVIDUALBLOCKS HAVE BEEN

REPLACED WITH PRE FABPLAYSETS WHICH COMEWITH VERY FEW MOVINGPARTS. IT IS NO LONGER

AN INDEPENDENTCREATIVE MEDIUM!

BACK IN ‘85...BACK IN ‘85...

I’M NEARLY FINISHEDME CASTLE ANDI’VE RUN OUT OF

ONE EY’S

OH NO!SEE THIS KID

KNOWS THE SCORE! DECIDES WHAT TO

BUILD AND DECIDESWHO HIS LEGO

MEN ARE!

HEHE

ITS ALL PART OF A SICK

CONSPIRACY TO DRAIN

THE LAST OF A LITTLE

THING WE USED TO CALL

FROM KIDS. “ YOU DON’T

WANNA BE MESSING

WITH ALL THOSE LITTLE

BLOCKS AND HAVING TO

THINK OF AN IDEA ALL BY

YOURSELF DO YOU? HERE

TAKE THIS PRE MADE

LORD OF THE RINGS LEGO

INSTEAD”

IN TEN YEARS TIME, LEGO WILL HAVEMUTATED SO MUCH THAT KIDS WILL BEPLAYING WITH THEIR ‘LEGO’ OBLIVIOUSTO WHAT A ONE EY OR A TWO EY IS.......- -

SAYYYY....WHAT ARE THESE

WEIRD LTTLENOBBLES ON THETOP OF MY CAR? YEAH....

THERE’S A FEW ON

THIS TOO!

AH JAYSIS!IS NOTHIN’ SACRED?!

THEY’RE MAKING LEGOOUT OF PLASTIC?BACKIN MY DAY THEY USED

WOOD. BLAH!BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!

SHUT UP!YOU CAN’T STOP

PROGRESS GRANDAD!OH WAIT, THAT SORT OFRUINS MY ARGUMENT....

AW SHIT! I’M OUTOF ONE EYS!

AND THEIR WILL IS EATEN AWAYAND THEIR SOULS SUCKED

OUT TILL ALL THAT REMAINSIS A SAD,SERVILECONSUMER BOT

This was out of date even by the time it was printed. Seamus Brennan was a tinylittle politician in Ireland who died a couple of years ago. I liked him.

I used to draw this comic for a local gay mag. It was fun, they let me do some i�y gags

Putting my old home address in this ad was a bad idea. A group of giddy teens called up one night.My then girlfriend was not impressed.

Back inside cover. It was crazy, Brian Mc Fadden (who?) had launched an awful re-branding campaignof himself when issue 1 came out but by the time issue 2 was ready he had disappeared. So my tribute

to him never happened. Same with the ‘Talk to Joe’. Never �nished it.