The Second Paradigm

TheSecond

Paradigm

by

Pat Kirby

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Preface

I wanted to write a short work that summarizes my experience in two different worlds or paradigms, which are important in this way: the First World creates suffering by its nature, while the Second creates peace.

While there is much evidence that each of these worlds is “real”, what I am writing about is simply my perspective about them, and therefore it is far more subjective than objective. Nevertheless, I have chosen to write with authority rather than to preface each sentence with “I think”, or “it has been my experience that,” and I hope you will forgive me this shorthand.

My intention here is to briefly summarize a possible world where suffering ceases, so that those who want to come to it as described, can. This world, which I call the Second Paradigm, is not merely the opposite of the world we were all born into (which I call the First World) but is rather so different that using the same language to describe the difference is challenging. Nevertheless, I'm going to try.

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Setup

Before I begin, I'd like to sketch out the major similarities and differences of the two worlds so that you have a framework on which to build.

The major similarity between the worlds is that in both, our well-being depends on our ability to meet our needs. But whereas in the First World we are driven by a pantheon of insatiable needs whose satisfaction is often dependent on factors beyond our control, in the Second, we are driven by a single need which we ourselves can completely satisfy. This signal distinction is germane to suffering: we suffer when we have many needs which can't be met, we feel peace when we have a single need which can. This is the major difference between the two worlds, and it is that simple.

The single need just alluded to is not so simple, however. In the Second World, our sole need is to connect unconditionally with all that is as it is, or in other words, to love unconditionally. But the phrase “unconditional love” as used here does not refer to that warm, fuzzy feeling that it usually evokes in the First World mind. Instead, it refers to the Second World practice of embracing an equality so radical that time, change, and special relationship all disappear, with the result that attendant suffering likewise disappears.

* * *

I will elaborate on these ideas in detail later, but for now, I'd like to continue building the foundations of these two disparate worlds.

The primary building block of the world we were all born into is

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difference. In the First World, differences are defining: we use them to construct our identity, our esteem, and our relationship to all that is.

Let me give you an example of how important First World differences are by describing two hypothetical men: one is young, attractive, intelligent, and middle class, while the other is old, ungainly, slow witted, and poor.

Which man would our society value more? Which man, living in such a society, would hold himself in higher esteem? Which man would most of us prefer to relate to?

The First World, because of the primacy of differences, is one in which inequality reigns, and the unequal treatment that results is one of the major causes of suffering.

Moreover, if we substitute the synonym “conditions” for differences, we find that in the First World, identity, esteem and relationship are all conditional, and the fact that conditions change contributes to suffering as well: the young get old, the old get Alzheimers, and fortunes get depleted.

In addition, the conditions by which we define ourselves, because they are based on unequally valued differences, create the perception that we are not just separate from others, but also better or worse than they are, and the feeling of alienation that results further contributes to suffering.

* * *

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By contrast, in the Second World, the major building block is not difference, but similarity. In this universe, it is similarity which

defines. Second World citizens treat both of the men just described equally because both are human beings. Both are walking miracles worthy of infinite respect, and they interact in a world of objects which are likewise miraculous and worthy of respect. In the Second World, identity, esteem, and relationship revolve around automatic membership of all that is in what might be called the Family of Created Works of Art. Because of this membership, all objects are considered valuable in the Second World, and there isn't any trash. (Imagine that.)

In such a universe, where do we belong, to whom and to what? The answer is heartening: we belong everywhere, to everyone and everything. In the Second World, we are all permanent members of that Family of Art I referred to. As a result, in the mind of the Second World citizen, inequality, conditionality, and alienation disappear, along with all their related suffering. In the Second World, what reigns is peace.

This peace, which is completely under the control of the citizen who embraces it, remains unscathed even when immersed in the suffering of the First World, where its sole commitment is to work for the well being of all that is. Such peace is both mandate and birthright, in the world of the Second Paradigm.

* * *

Before I continue this story, a few notes are in order. The first is definitional: I'll be using the word “object” to refer to any noun, so,

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for example, people, things, institutions, and beliefs, for the purpose of this essay, are all considered objects. Secondly, I'd like to preview the sections which follow:

In Section 1, I'll elaborate on the ideas presented in this preface by describing the citizens of each world in detail in terms of their respective:

1. major needs; 2. agenda; 3. dynamics of attachment; 4. major practices; 5. relationships; 6. identity and self esteem, and 7. cultural products,

elements which will be bolded throughout the text to signal progression through each world to its conclusion. I'll continue to use the personal pronoun “we” because each of us resides, at times, in each world.

In Section 2, I present some Q and A entitled “Twenty Something Questions”, and in Section 3, I'll talk a little about how all these ideas have played out in my own life.

In the final section which includes the Appendices, Appendix A includes a chart comparing the two worlds; B is a list of definitions; and C is a list of recommended books.

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Section One: The First Paradigm

The First World, as mentioned, is the one we're all born into. It's the world we breathe in, and it's usually the world in which we breathe our last. In this world, our major need is to survive and thrive.

In order to survive and thrive, many sub-needs clamor for attention. You know them intimately: we need food, water, clothing, shelter, love, sex, work, respect, safety, and so forth. In the First World, we have a need driven agenda with a polar nature which revolves around getting and avoiding these survival related objects. On the plus side for example, we need to get all of the things just described like food, shelter, and water, while on the minus side, we need to avoid things like poisons, hazards, and enemies. Between the positive and the negative poles lies a middle ground of objects which seem largely irrelevant to surviving and thriving, and which we therefore, tend largely to ignore.

Thus do we First World citizens live in a polar world where getting and avoiding are the name of the game, and in the emotional realm, hope and fear serve as their catalysts.

The agenda of “getting and avoiding” generates a signed world full of pluses, minuses, and zeroes where our system of attachment (including perception, preference, assessment, and morality) follows the suit of need:

We find the pluses, those objects which meet our needs, attractive. We like them, and call them good, and right. Examples: our partners, our friends, our political party, our

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church.

The minuses, those objects which thwart our needs, we find repulsive. We dislike them, and call them bad, and wrong. Examples: our enemies, and people, institutions, and countries that don't support our values.

The zeroes, objects that have no bearing on our needs, we find uninteresting. They leave us impassive, and we consider them to be relatively irrelevant and morally neutral. Examples: everything else.

The First World chart which follows summarizes the need-driven system of polar attachment generated up to this point:

Attachment sign: plus zero minusperception:

preference:

assessment:

morality:

attractive

likeable

good

right

invisible

uninteresting

irrelevant

a-moral

repulsive

unlikeable

bad

wrong

Our First World agenda of getting and avoiding drives action, which also follows the suit of need as we sort the world into three transactive piles according to the columns above:

1. things to get (all the pluses) , 2. things to avoid (all the minuses), and 3. things to ignore (all the zeroes).

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This sorting according to self interested judgment is the major practice of the first world. It amounts to the practice of inequality.

We care about those few objects we want to get. We have special relationships with them because they meet our needs. We protect them, maintain them, and work to improve their welfare.

We don't care about the many objects we avoid because they thwart our needs or waste our time. We treat them with disinterest or disdain at best, and abuse or violence at worst.

In short, through self interested judgment, First World citizens cleave the world into that which is worthy, and that which is not, and inequality reigns.

It's important to mention at this point that we sort everything in the world: people, time, beliefs, institutions, and even our very own selves. We speak of good and bad people, good and bad times, good and bad ideas, good and bad political parties and religions, and good and bad parts of personalities and bodies. The universe of the first world is one in which all elements are deeply divided unto themselves.

* * *

The mechanism for establishing and maintaining relationships of inequality is something I call a “circle of care”. Into our circles of care we First World citizens put everything we judge as a plus, and from it we exclude everything we judge as zero or minus. Importantly, our circles of care exclude most of what is.

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What do our circles of care include? They include our spouses, our houses, our cars, our kids, our assets, our friends, our relatives, our beliefs, our clubs, our jobs, and our accomplishments, and all these objects are so important to our well being that they become part of who we are. In other words: our CirclesOfCareRUS.

When we lose one of the objects in our circle of care, it's almost as if we've lost a part of our body, and it is painful, so we work against loss. We become protective of our circles, aka “me and mine”, and the insurance industry booms as a result. We also work for gain, because we judge and are judged by the quantity and quality of objects in our circles of care: so we might “trade up” for a more attractive spouse, or a bigger car or house, or buy more “toys”, or join a more exclusive club. Acquisition, and size of “self” as reflected by the objects in our circles, is so important to First World culture that in it, we even have a magazine called: More.

* * *

Added to the problem of inequality created by highly exclusive circles of care is scarcity: we simply can't get all the objects we need and want. If the objects are material goods, they may be in short supply, or we may not have enough money to buy them; if they are jobs or clubs, we may not have the right requirements for acceptance; if they are prospective friends or partners, we might not have the traits desired for connection. In short, the object of our desire may not, figuratively speaking, desire us. So far, we can see that an object's inclusion in our circle of care is dependent on several conditions:

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1. we must have judged it to be a plus;2. it must be available and affordable; and3. if the object in question is human, it must also have judged us to be a plus.

Now a fourth and final condition comes into play: each object's tenure in the others circle of care depends on its ongoing ability to fulfill the others needs. When the needs of one or both objects in a circle of care cease to be met, disconnection results. More to the point: as objects wear out, they get thrown out.

With respect to our connection with material goods in the first world, we throw away objects which have outlived their usefulness, creating what could be called a culture of garbage. Landfills grow exponentially.

With respect to our connections with human beings and institutions, relationships dissolve when one object or the other is found wanting, creating a culture of rejection. This occurs with friendships, marriage, jobs, clubs, institutions, and even families.

Counterpointing the culture of garbage is one of treasure; and counterpointing the culture of rejection is one of acceptance, but the status of all objects can change from one day to the next in the First World......

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Thus are all First World relationships conditional. Their “on/off” polar nature is clearly reflected by our language:

buy/discard; own/disown;

marry/divorce; make up/break up;

accept/reject; hire/fire;

support/ignore; join/quit;

affirm/deny. * * *

Because well being is dependent on the security of our connection with the objects that meet our needs, and because all First World connections are conditional as just described, one's well being in the First World is likewise conditional, as follows:

1. We may not be able to secure the objects we need to meet our needs (food, water, housing, clothing, work, friends, partners, respect, freedom, etc.)

2. Even when objects are initially available, they may cease to become available (food stores deplete; water becomes polluted; houses burn down; clothing wears out; jobs, associations, friendships and partnerships end; respect and freedom are lost, etc.)

In very simple terms, in the First World, our well being is constantly compromised because we are never fully in control of getting and avoiding.

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It is worth mentioning that the pain in this statement suffuses both the undeveloped and developed worlds: few in both worlds can get everything they need, and while development can delay the kinds of losses the undeveloped world routinely faces, it can never eliminate them. Resource depletion, death, disease, and prejudice alike are constant companions despite a county's level of development.

* * *

Now let's look at the relationship between First World well being, and identity and esteem in that world.

Because First World well being is conditional, and since our identity and self esteem are intimately related to our well being, we can say that in the First World, identity and self esteem are conditional too. In fact, they track well being in this way:

When we are able to meet our needs to survive and thrive and our sense of well being is high, the circles of care which reflect our identity are full, well protected and growing, and we esteem ourselves accordingly. The result is a whole host of positive affects which distill to happiness. When we are unable to meet our needs however and our sense of well being is low, the circles of care which reflect our identity are too small, not fully protected and often shrinking, and we devalue ourselves accordingly, inviting the whole host of negative affects. Now we are sad.

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As the “polar-coasters” of well being, identity and self esteem travel up and down throughout our First World lives, our affect follows suit and we are happy, sad, and impassive in a series of endless twists and turns.

* * *

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Now I'm going to expand the chart of the First World's polar infrastructure by adding the following elements: agenda, circle of care (COC) action, well being/ID (identity)/esteem, and feelings:

Attachment sign: plus zero minusAGENDA:

perception:

preference:

assessment:

morality:

COC action:

well being/ID/esteem:

feelings:

GET:

attractive

likeable

good

right

include

thriving

happy

IGNORE:

invisible

uninteresting

irrelevant

a-moral

exclude

surviving

impassive

AVOID:

repulsive

unlikeable

bad

wrong

exclude

threatened

sad

This chart reflects the full range of the First World's “bipolar” infrastructure, and illuminates how suffering is generated:

1. Our well being, identity and self esteem are never secure but conditional, since they are dependent on our ability to get and to avoid, each of which is largely out of our control;

2. Any object's treatment in the world is not secure but conditional on its inclusion or exclusion from the circles of care of others:

a) An object's treatment inside the circles of care that sustain it is not secure but conditional upon its

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performance;

b) Any object's treatment outside the circles of care of others is not secure but conditional on its sign: if it's zero, it will be ignored; if it's minus, it will be neglected at best, and abused at worst.

In short, the main cultural product of First World life is: insecurity.

* * *

Two additional cultural products which cause suffering and devolve from a world divided unto itself are:

- an ongoing sense of separation, and - an experience of ongoing discontinuity.

Our circles of care enforce the continuous exclusion of objects based on arbitrary standards of worth and relevance, even to the point of excluding rejected parts of ourselves. The alienation we experience as a result is extremely painful.

Moreover, as we exclude and reject objects, life proceeds in fits and starts as we keep having to stop, even figuratively, to throw things out, and a sense of discontinuity prevails as a result.

* * *

Last but not least among First World cultural products is karma. When we “consume” superficial differences by sorting objects

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according to arbitrary standards of worth, what comes out the other end of the process is karma. Another way of saying this is: the drama of judged difference perpetuates the drama of judged difference. This is how it works - we treat people according to our assessment of their worth, so that people who are treated well, tend to do well, and people who aren't tend to do poorly. But, the fact that we judge based on conditions largely beyond the control of the person judged is unfair, and the result of this inequity is to simply perpetuate inequity.

Are we responsible for.......our appearance?

our intelligence?the circumstances of our childhood?

the quality of our education? ...or the culture in which we were raised?

Because we are not, we citizens of the First World deserve neither praise nor blame, but we get both constantly, and this sets us up for more success or failure……. in other words: karma.

Taken all together, these four cultural products:

1. insecurity, 2. a feeling of separation,

3. a sense of discontinuity, and 4. karma

constitute what we might call the “seas of despair” of the First World.

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* * *

So far I've presented a pretty bleak picture, so at this point I must admit that we First World citizens have lots and lots (and LOTS) of fun when we're not busy suffering. The problem is, First World fun has a distinct, polar flavor just like everything else in the paradigm. In fact, it resembles hopping from one island of happiness to another, over intervening seas of despair.

The First World experience of time further compounds the problem: while we're on any one island of happiness, we are rarely fully Present, because we're already anticipating the next island with hope, and worrying about past and future seas with fear. In a way, in the First World, we're always waiting for deliverance from this “hopping style of happiness”. Even with our feet firmly planted on an island of happiness right here, right now, part of our attention is always focused on getting and avoiding more.

So how do we get off the polarcoaster, and stop island hopping? Luckily, deliverance is at hand, in a world called the Second Paradigm....

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But before moving on, I'd like to quickly summarize First World reality. In this “bipolar” universe:

1. Differences are the major building block.2. Our major need is to survive and thrive.3. The perceived differences of objects are evaluated according to their relevance to our needs.4. Objects with “good differences” are sorted into a circle of care for special relationship; objects with “bad” or “irrelevant” differences are sorted out.5. The sorting becomes the major practice of the First World, and produces inequality.6. Inequality leads to conditional well being.7. Conditional well being leads to conditional identity and esteem.8. Conditional well being, identity and esteem produce insecurity, feelings of alienation, discontinuity, and Karma.9. These “seas of despair,” alternating with “islands of happiness”, produce endless cycles of joy and sadness, and hope and fear.

* * * When I think of this reality, a poem comes to mind:

There once was a girlwho had a little curl

right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was goodshe was very, very good..

but when she was bad, she was horrid!

So it is..... with life in the First World.

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Section Two: The Second Paradigm Now we are ready to explore the universe of the Second Paradigm, but we cannot enter this kingdom without a key, which follows in the form of a totally bizarre realization:

It never gets better than now. Without this realization, you will never set a foot, let alone a toe, in the Second World. But how in the world, when “now” so often excludes the things we like and includes so many things we dislike, can we ever find such a key?

As we stroll around the Second World, we find the answer: the riot of pluses and minuses and zeros that dramatizes First World life has simply disappeared, and a radical equality appears in its place. This equality is the air Second citizens breathe:

In the Second World, we meet each object with a compassion that reflects our common membership in the same Family. This means we regard all the objects of creation as equally worthy, and therefore equally “likeable”. If all objects are equally worthy and “likeable”, then the objects we relate to in one moment are as good as the objects in any other, and so it never gets better than now.

And why is this so important? Because NOW, in the Second Paradigm, is where the gold is. Here's the logic:

The fulfillment we find in the Second World is all and only

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about maintaining authentic connection with all that is.

Authentic connection is only possible in the Present Moment. We can't reminisce into being from the past, or fantasize it into being from the future.

Genuine connection at its highest level is both unlimited and unconditional:

we can't achieve unlimited connection when we exclude most of our Family from our circle of care, and we can't achieve authentic connection when we only relate conditionally....

Therefore, fulfillment in the Second World is achieved through the practice of equality IN THE MOMENT by allowing ALL THAT IS into our circle of care UNCONDITIONALLY.

Let me give you an example. Let's say your present moment contains a number of “disagreeable” elements. Perhaps you're sitting in a physician's waiting room, anticipating bad news. You're also hungry, and one of the children in the waiting room is crying. First world reality would tend to focus your attention on a more pleasant moment in the past, and potential scenarios of loss in the future, while causing resentment of your hunger and the noise of the child; you might also focus on what you'll eat as soon as you get home, and on the feeling of comfort you expect to experience upon arrival there. In other words, you'd be completely absent. Second World reality, by contrast, is quite different. If you were living in the Second World, you would focus your attention on everything in the

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present moment. You would notice your hunger, experience it, and feel compassion for yourself because you forgot to eat. You would notice the child, and feel a caring connection with it. You might take the opportunity to engage with the other members of your “human family” in the room, including the child. You would take in all the elements of the room, noticing how each one offers support to the people in it: the comfort of the chairs, the magazines to help pass the time, decoration to distract and soothe, and the quality of service that characterizes that office. In the Second World, you would “be there” for everything in the moment; you would be fully present.

Do you remember back in the Introduction I mentioned that only one of the worlds offers us peace? This peace, as you can see from the example given, is the gold of the Second Paradigm. It lies in the unconditional well being we feel when we choose to accept all that is, as it is, through our full presence. With this choice, we experience a supportive union with all that is that is completely under our own control. How do we achieve this? Well, it's a long story......

* * *

Let me begin by reframing the first line of the logic I started with: the primary need of the Second World citizen for connection alone. Notice this stands in stark contrast to the situation in the First World, where a pantheon of needs clamor for our attention unceasingly and keep the world divided unto itself as we judge it and fight for resources. In the Second World, our major need is singular: we simply seek total, unconditional connection to all that is. As a result, replacing all the hurly-burly of getting and avoiding in the First World, all we do repeatedly in the Second is connect. The

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particulars of the connection (tall, short; hot, cold; comfortable, uncomfortable) pale in significance when compared to the nature of the connection itself, where the intrinsic nature and worth of each object is recognized and validated. While we still pursue survival, our connection with the sacred nature of the world comes first. This connection is called Presence (and please note the capital P.)

Presence occurs whenever we connect with 100% of our attention, and 100% of our heart.

The world that unfolds when we relate to it with Presence is magnificent. As a Rosetta stone, imagine how you would feel in relationship with someone who:

accepts you exactly as you arecares about you very muchisn't judging everything you doisn't trying to get anything out of youisn't trying to make you behave in a different wayisn't pressuring you to change your mindlistens to what you say with their full attentionwants nothing more from you than your well being, and...has no agenda other than connection in this moment?

Wouldn't that feel like freedom? Wouldn't you open right up with the “authentic you”.... with days (or weeks, or even years) of thoughts unexpressed for fear of judgment or reprisal? This freedom is what characterizes all object relations in the Second World, and the speech that is liberated goes beyond the merely human. It is as if the entire world enters into conversation with citizens of the Second Paradigm who offer it their full and caring

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Presence.

This conversation brings sensual, intellectual and spiritual gifts, and I want to describe these briefly before moving on to other dimensions of Second World life.

* * *

When we are fully Present, or engaged with 100% of our mind and our heart, we are able to receive all the intelligence that is being “broadcast” every second by every object and experience. This enriches our life in the following three ways:

First, our senses become fully aware of each object's sensual signature when we fully open to their touch, taste, sound, look, and smell, specifically:

when we care about what we touch, it feels better; when we care about what we eat, it tastes better; when we care about what we hear, it sounds better; when we care about what we see, it looks better; when we care about what we sniff, it smells better.

When our minds are not a million miles away playing the First World game of getting and avoiding, sensation arrives unimpeded and fully informs our experience: we're not just stopping to smell the roses here, we're stopping to smell the roses and the manure, because in the Second World, each has equal worth, and equally valuable information to impart.

Second, along with the intelligence we receive through our senses, our minds also tune into the processes that play out each moment, so we receive ongoing insight as to how events

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develop and unfold. In this way we receive an ongoing tutorial about how to promote events that improve well being, and prevent events that don't. In addition, because in the Second World we dethrone getting and avoiding and stop resisting what is, we begin to move with the process of all that is, and time begins to flow instead of stopping and starting every time we see something we like or dislike.

Third and finally, when we are fully Present and stop sorting reality into piles of relative “worth” according to superficial differences, a world that is deeply connected and supportive is revealed. As our hearts become fully aware of this deep connection, we rest in a state of belonging and affiliation, feeling supported even when we stand “alone”. With this connection, the alienation and suffering we repeatedly experience in the First World ends.

The rich tapestry just described constitute the fruits of Presence, and they are ours to choose at any time. But there is a catch, and a considerable one at that: in the Second World, all personal relationships are, in a sense, impersonal.

Do you remember the individual I described as a Rosetta stone? Well, they wouldn't just relate to you with their deeply compassionate Presence, they'd relate to everyone, and everything, that way. You couldn't really take their generosity personally, nor would you have an exclusive claim on their time. So the catch in the Second Paradigm is of course the ego, which wants so desperately to be treated differently, in a way that is special.

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In the Second World, fortunately or not depending on which world your feet are in, special relationships - the ones we keep in our circle of care when they meet our needs - simply disappear. Instead, as radical equality proclaims the equal worth of all that is, and as all objects are experienced as supportive just as they are through the connection of Presence, ALL relationships with ALL objects become special.

The “just as they are” bit needs some clarification. How come nothing has to change? Why are things as they are, things which you and I know very well are not quite up to snuff, going to be accepted without having to toe some kind of line? Well, it is because the “food” we live for in the Second World no longer comes from the particulars of the objects we relate to - not how they look nor whether they decide to scratch our back after we've just scratched theirs. The “food” we receive comes from the quality of the connection we establish with them. Since this connection is completely independent of their particulars, they get to be their authentic selves, and we get to know them just as they are. In this way, you could say that the “food” we eat in the Second World is the truth of all that is.

Now, since nothing is excluded from Second World circles of care, there really are no circles, and no special relationship either since all objects reside inside them. As I stated in the beginning of the section, the Second Paradigm is truly a bizarre world!

* * *

Having laid the foregoing foundation, I can now move into the other elements of world structure: agenda, major practices, dynamic of

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attachment, nature of relationship, identity and self esteem, and cultural products.

The major agenda in the Second World is as simple as the major need: since our primary goal is to gain full connection with all that is, our major agenda is to remove anything that stands in the way. We achieve this agenda through a practice I call “same moment.” It amounts to the practice of equality. We practice equality by relating to everything in the moment with the same quality and quantity of compassionate awareness, or Presence. We sweep the floor with compassionate awareness, we do the dishes with compassionate awareness, we listen to friend's concerns with compassionate awareness, we braid our daughter's hair with compassionate awareness, we sit on our living room couch, alone, and gaze around the room with compassionate awareness. We choose compassionate awareness at every point in the Second World, without condition.

Another name for the compassionate awareness of Presence is unconditional love, and because we choose it at every point through same moment, we could use the popular mantra Baba Nam Kevalam to describe the lifestyle that results:

“Love is all there is.”

* * *

Same moment means it's as valuable to floss your teeth as it is to write a book; it's as valuable to talk to your florist as it is to stroke

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your lover's cheek. It's as valuable to experience unavoidable pain as it is to experience pleasure. In each case, through a connection that's as powerful as it can possibly be, we make love moment by moment to the world just as it is.

Same moment also allows us to monitor when we've strayed from the power of this connection. As soon as one moment seems different from the next,we know we've stepped out of the Second World. In particular, when we:

see ourselves trying to ESCAPE the moment, either because we see something outside it we like more, or because we're experiencing something inside it we don't like,

or when we:

see ourselves trying to HOLD ON to the moment, because we like what we're experiencing there or because we're afraid of what the next moment will bring, then

we gently remind ourselves of the equality of all that is, and return our full and careful attention to what's unfolding here, now, in this moment without trying to escape or hold on. We do this as often as needed because in the Second World, it never gets better than now. Now is our refuge, where we experience the deepest connection known to man.

Here is an even more powerful, though unsettling, way of looking at same moment. Whenever we are Present:

a moment without human company is no better or worse than a

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moment with it;

a moment with one particular person is no better or worse than a moment with another;

a moment spent doing one particular activity is no better or worse than a moment doing another; and

a moment experiencing negative emotions is no better or worse than a moment experiencing positive ones.

* * * All things, people, activities, and emotions become part of a sacred flow when illuminated as equally worthy by the light of Presence.

* * *

When the flow stops, and we believe that:

a moment spent with human company is being or worse than a moment spent without it, or that

a moment spent with one person is better or worse than a moment spent with a different person, or that

a moment doing one activity is better or worse than a moment doing something else, or that

a moment feeling one emotion is better or worse than a moment feeling another, then

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same moment tells us we've stepped out of the equality of the Second World into the First World's paradigm of inequality, and we are guided back.

* * *

It's also worth pointing out that in the Second World there is no magazine called More. Once we are relating to all that is with our full awareness, and our full compassion, there is really nothing else to do, and nothing else to get. As a result, time seems to stand still.

So, in the Second World, when we're asked:

What are you doing right now?What were you doing just the moment before?What will you be doing the moment after, and the next? What were you doing the moment before you were born?What will you be doing the moment after you die?

….the answer is always the same: we are always doing the same thing repeatedly, relating to all that is with our full awareness and compassion. We are always in a state of Presence, practicing Same Moment, affirming the worth of all that is.

Here is a reframe for the Deists out there:

If you're in touch with Godno matter what you do...

then what difference does it makewhat you do?

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We can also reframe the well worn New Age truism: “It's all good.” by turning it simply into, “It's all God.”

* * *

Now let's talk a little about the dynamics of attachment in this unlikely universe. Before, we mentioned four components that bear on the conditional attachments of the First World: perception, preference, assessment, and morality. Recall that in first World, all of these components are driven by our need to survive and thrive, so the objects of the moment are sorted into or out of our circles of care according to the signs of need-relevant differences (polarity). For instance: food inside, mud outside.

But reality is comprised of more than the superficial differences that keep us trapped in the “separation mind” of the First World. Beneath superficial differences is a layer of deep connectivity alluded to earlier that is infinite in scope and supportive in nature. It is within this deeper layer that Second Paradigm life unfolds.

Because we Second World citizens completely meet out major need for deep connection within this depth, we can afford to stop sorting. As a result, we cease to form attachments according to First World need relevance. With respect to the four components, this means all our doors and windows are open, and all our walls come down:

we perceive all that is,we prefer whatever appears in the moment, we assess all objects as equally worthywe treat all people with compassion despite their behavior.

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These last two statements require further explanation, because surely a world can't function without some kind of differential assessment, and some kind of social control.

* * *

Assessment and social control do occur in the Second World, but with this caveat:

They occur without the pressure of moral judgment.

In the Second World, behavior is attributed not to inherent good or evil, but rather to chains of conditions of nature and nurture which produce given outcomes with regularity. Imagine a multiple car crash where a car traveling behind a pack of slowing traffic loses its brakes. One by one, cars will be hit from behind. Who is at fault? Behavior in the Second World is viewed accordingly. It is seen to result from chains of crashes (if negative) and chains of blessings (if positive) over which, for the most part, we have little control. In such a world, the only possible response in each case is not:

a judgment of good or bad;or a judgment of right or wrong;or a judgment of blame or praise,

but compassion.

So we assess not through morality, but by appreciating the nature of causality. But what about social control? In the Second World, what insures against choas?

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Here, as we practice compassion, we are being guided moment by moment to act in a way that promotes well being and reduces harm. Guided by what? All of the Intelligence that comes to bear in the moment when we are fully aware and open hearted. Through Presence, we receive 100% of all the information available about what is helpful and harmful, and act accordingly to promote the well being of all that is.

Not surprisingly, the mandate of a Second World citizen, who is supported by the experience of deep connectivity with all that is, is to support all that is in return without exception.

* * *

Just who in the Second World do we think we are that we can do this? The answer is, and must be, nothing. Second World identity is empty, because without emptiness we couldn't be fully present: when our attention is consumed by anything other than the simple desire to connect, our ability to be fully present is absent. Let me show you how this works.....

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In the Second World our identity resides in an awareness which stands apart from the standard First World identity elements. In the Second World, we are NOT:

our bodies

our feelings

our thoughts

our actions

our friends and family

our jobs

our material assets

our skills and abilities

our memories and dreams,

our desires and fears, or

our beliefs.In other words, in the Second Paradigm, our identity no longer equates with the objects in our circles of care. But in their place,

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what are we? A 14th century mystic poet by the name of Hafiz echoes the answer suggested earlier: I am a hole in a flute that the Christ's breath moves through - listen to this music.

--Hafizfrom the Penguin publication The Gift, translated by Daniel Ladinsky In the Second World, what we are is a receptive emptiness. It is a sacred emptiness which allows us to be fully informed by the intelligence of All That Is. This is the Christ's breath referred to by Hafiz, and by it we are moved to create a harmony in the world that surpasses understanding; through it, the nothingness of our empty identity is filled with the truth of all that is.

* * *

In the Second World, as our circles of care expand to include all that is, special relationships between people disappear, and the idea of a special self identified with a limited circle of care also disappears. When we see ourselves as instruments of the Christ's breath empowered by emptiness, the notion of a special self is quickly dispatched as a burden. The resulting absence of self creates a new dynamic of relationship.

Relationship in the Second World is both:

1. disinterested (because it's not seeking to meet a pantheon of needs through the other) and

2. unconditional (because there's no agenda for relationship

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other than connection.)

To repeat a telling word just used above, Second World relationship is empty. Another mystic poet, Kabir, hints at its nature in this excerpt from a poem called “Neither This Nor That”:

“I haven't been estranged from anyone -and I'm no one's close companion.”

--KabirFrom the Penguin Indian Publication: The Weaver's Songs,translated by Vinay Dharwadker

While to First World ears this may sound cold, it is a statement of radical equality: in Kabir's world, everyone is equally special, and everyone is treated with the equal care of compassion.

* * *

It's important to point out that the absence of special relationship and a special self doesn't mean we Second World citizens ignore our obligation to support ourselves, our families, and our friends:

We still eat to nourish our bodies, but now we are fully aware that there are many in the world who can't eat, so we devote as many resources as we can to ensure hunger is diminished;

We still provide for our children, but now we are fully aware that many children in the world are not well provided for, so we devote as much of our resources as possible to ensure their equal welfare;

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We still make a point of being there for other family members and friends, but now we live in a world where everyone is Family, and so we devote all possible resources to their welfare as well.

There is a truism that says: “We're all in this together.” The Second Paradigm is where that truism lives.

* * *

How do we esteem ourselves in such a world? This is the easiest question of all to answer, for what flute being played by Christ could feel anything but blessed? This is how we feel about ourselves and our lives in the Second Paradigm.

Our feelings also include an ongoing equanimity, since we know we can choose the full connection of Presence at any time despite any circumstance, and that through it, we'll be guided by the Christ's Breath to create the most beautiful music imaginable.

* * *

Does this mean we're having fun? Well I hope so. In place of riding the First World's polar-coaster of hope and fear, in the Second World of radical equality, what we ride is the Christ's Breath. What we reap is unconditional well being.

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The dimensions of our well being and its unconditional nature are manifold:

No external circumstance can prevent us from choosing Presence.

Through Presence, our experience of the sensual world is unlimited.Through Presence, our intellect is led to improve the welfare of all that is.

Through Presence, our hearts establish a healing connection to all that is.

Through Presence, we remain in constant contact with the Christ's breath, or the Intelligence of All That Is.

Through Presence, we make music in the world, and it makes a heavenly difference.

It doesn't get better than that!

* * *

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At this point, before concluding with the cultural products of the Second Universe, I'd like to summarize the full picture of radical equality that presents in this world:

In the Second World, it's always the same time: now.

In the Second World, everyone looks the same: each wears the face of Christ.

In the Second World, everyone does the same thing: loving all that is without condition through same moment.

In the Second World, everyone is the same being: God's instrument.

In the Second World, everyone feels the same thing: open hearted equanimity.

In the Second World, phenomenologically speaking, nothing ever happens but love.

The cultural products of such a world should now be evident. First and foremost is security: our well being is unconditional. Because, as stated at the outset, well being is dependent on the security of our connection to the objects which meet our needs, and because in the Second World, any and all objects can meet our need for deep connection through our choice to be Present, Second World well being is guaranteed.

Our well being includes an ongoing experience of the affiliation of Family (as opposed to the alienation of the First World) and an

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experience of time as continuous (since it flows without all the interruptions of First World judgment). The final cultural product of Second World life is freedom from karma, because as we stop trying to push life around according to the needs of our special selves, life stops reacting.

* * *

Now it's time for questions and confessions. The Second World is wildly confusing to First World Citizens so I want to devote some time to questions which reflect likely areas of misunderstanding (not to mention incredulity). After that, I'd like to “confess” to you my actual experience of both worlds, including my “successes” and “failures”. I consider myself to be very much in transition between worlds, or you could say, a dual citizen.

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Twenty-something Questions

A list of the questions included in this section follows:

1. It seems like Second World citizens don't believe in evil, and that is shocking. What about serial murderers, child rapists, and Hitler ? Shouldn't these people should be demonized and treated accordingly?

2. You spoke of hope and fear in the First World, but haven't mentioned them in the Second. What becomes of them there?

3. If all people are really Christ, does this mean we have to befriend everyone?

4. If all people are equal in the Second World, isn't this a license for promiscuity? What is Second World sex like?

5. You say we're supposed to love “all that is”. But honestly, how is that possible? No one could ever have the time to do that.

6. How do I handle the problem of loneliness when I don't have a special relationship?

7. Do I keep my personality in the Second World?

8. What about my ego? You didn't clarify what happens to it.

9. Does one still need to plan in the Present Moment, or are you guided step by step as to what you must do?

10. What do success and progress look like in the Second World?

11. What about change? In the Setup, you said that it disappears - how

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can that be?

12. I'm confused about Second World morality. I know you're said that guidance comes out of the present moment, but could you give me a concrete example? I mean, without an idea of right and wrong how can people be expected to know what to do?

13. You alluded to Karma earlier. I don't understand what you wrote. I like to think of Karma as the mechanism of justice in the world. If Karma isn't about justice, then where is justice in the Second Paradigm?

14. When you referred to “deep, ongoing contact with the Godness inherent in each moment” in question 12, is that what you mean by Presence?

15. Could you elaborate on the blessings of Presence?

16. Aren't there some circumstances where Presence would be impossible?

17. Once one learns how to be Present, how does one stay Present?

18. Do I have to stay Present all the time? I mean, can' t I just tune out and take a break sometimes?

19. What is the political position of the Second Paradigm?

20. How do I manage all the suffering in the world?

21. How do I get to the Second World from here, and how long does it take to get there?

22. How do I know when I've become a permanent resident?

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Answers

1. It seems like you don't believe in evil, and that is shocking. What about serial murderers, child rapists, and Hitler ? Shouldn't these people should be demonized and treated accordingly?

Let me deal with the matter of evil first. In the Second Paradigm, the aim is to embrace a perspective that respects the sacred potential of all people. This means that rather than seeing harm as the product of an innate evil which is irredeemable, Second World Citizens see is as the product of an ignorance which is.

The ignorance of a person who causes harm is best understood in this way: who in their right mind would hurt another human being? Only a person in wrong mind hurts others, so we need to understand what causes or conditions wrong mind. The simplest analogy is that of the multiple car crash alluded to earlier: can the next-to-the-last person in the crash chain avoid ramming the car in front of him? Of course not. People who harm others are often in this position: they have been hit from behind by multiple life circumstances, and this negative momentum causes them to crash into those in front. Their wrong mind was conditioned by a series of events, just as First World right mind is. (Second World mind is neither right nor wrong since it doesn't depend on conditions, and is explained at the end of this section).

The ignorance of a person who judges harm can also be understood using the crash analogy. The last person in the chain usually only sees the car that hit them, and blames them until they step back for the bigger perspective. If they are able to step back, they see that

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each crash in the chain was conditioned by the one preceding it, and that each link therefore needs to be remedied for everyone's safety.

An aside: all First World events are conditional. Because of this, blame or praise attributed to a single individual is near sighted. Would you blame an ice cream cone for dripping in the heat, or praise a flower for dancing in the wind? It makes no sense. Neither does it make sense with people. A series of catastrophes in our life conditions us to do harm, while a series of blessings conditions good, and luck can change anytime.

Because of this, in the Second World, we work equally for the welfare of all regardless of conditions. That means both that we protect those who are harmed, and those who do harm. Thus there are still prisons in the Second World for the serial murderers, rapists and Hitlers, but they don't house evil, but ignorance, and increasing awareness is their charge.

* * *

Second World mind is accordingly impartial. It can't be called right or wrong since it proceeds from a universe where polarity ceases and equality prevails. Nor can it sort objects (people, time, events, things, ideas) into piles of the more and less worthy. As a result, First World concepts like “better and worse” and “right and wrong” become meaningless, or empty, in the Second.

2. You spoke of hope and fear in the First World, but haven't mentioned them in the Second. What becomes of them there?

Hope largely disappears in the Second World because our greatest

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need can be completely met through our own devices. When we know we are getting the most support possible by choosing the deep connection of Presence at every turn - there's nothing more substantive to hope for. Fear also largely disappears because through Presence we have a new willingness to face life as it is, and a new confidence that we'll receive the guidance we need to respond to whatever appears in the moment. While we still experience the lifesaving fear that allows us to avoid immanent danger, we do so without the escalation of First World worry and judgment.

Here's another picture of hope and fear in the Second Paradigm: through Presence, our intention is to connect with the sacred essence or “Godness” of all objects as they are in each moment. Outcomes are irrelevant to this process, and since hope and fear both revolve around outcomes, they lose their bearing in the Second World. What replaces them is trust, albeit a trust far different from that of the First World.

While First World conditional trust is established by human beings through repeated demonstrations of good will, in the Second World, we trust only that human beings will follow their “karma”. That is, we “trust” that people will generally behave well when conditions bless them, and behave poorly when they don't, and our compassion for all of them flows from this understanding.

The unconditional trust which characterizes Second World life is not dependent on human beings, but rather on the fruits of the sacred relationship with all that is that Presence makes possible.

Once the fruits of Presence as described on page 24-25 begin to flow, and once we learn to control their flow by maintaining

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Presence despite circumstance, we stand on the unshakable foundation of Second World trust.

Returning to our question, what greater gift could we hope for than the Fruits of Presence, and knowing they are always available for the asking, what fear of loss could prevail? The result is an equanimity undisturbed by the dual anxieties of hope and fear.

3. If all people are really Christ, does this mean we have to befriend everyone?

The larger question here is whether we continue to make friends and enemies in the Second World as we did in the first, and the answer to this is no. Second World relationship is as empty of personal interest as it is full of concern about the welfare of the wider world. As such, relationship is motivated by the revealed need for cooperative service. Connection begins when two people see they can better serve a need by working together, and it continues for the duration of the service performed.

4. If all people are equal in the Second World, is promiscuity rampant there? What is Second World sex like?

Note that this First World question assumes the Second World is somewhere over “there”; in fact each world is always present right here, right now.

In the Second World, the “special” relationship of romance ceases because we experience an ongoing romance with all that is. People who are married when they enter the Second World may stay married or not, but that decision is no longer motivated by the

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spouse's specialness, or lack thereof: citizens of the Second World are primarily married to it, and their primary relationship is with Presence. This means that if someone enters the Second World as a single person, that is the way they will remain: a person surrounded by living water 24/7 is not going to ask for a special cup.

It's worth mentioning that in the Bible (1 Corinithians 7:8) Paul, who is celibate, says to those who are unmarried or widows: “It is good for them if they abide even as I.”

For those who are not celibate, Second World sexuality occurs in the context of a world now experienced as deeply sensual, so that it is less sensational by comparison: the “big O” we experience with a single individual occurs in the context of continuous little O's which derive from the experience of union with all that is in the moment.

Another important point needs to be made about Second World lovemaking: while in the First World, we generate alienation by treating some objects as if they were unworthy, in the Second World, we generate affiliation by respecting the equal worth of all objects. This “generation of affiliation” is the business of the Second World. It is, as just suggested, akin to creating or making love. Thus Second World experience is all, and only, about continuous lovemaking.

Is time money in the Second world? No, time is simply love.

5. You say we're supposed to love “all that is”. But honestly, how is that possible? No one could ever have the time to do that.

In the First World, where conditional love reigns, you are absolutely

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right. Conditional love takes a lot of work.

First of all, you need to meet your loved ones needs continuously:

Have you noticed they seem to be backing off a bit? Is there something you need to do to get the relationship back on track? Maybe some flowers, or some other kind of gift, or maybe spending more time together? How about your appearance? Have you let yourself go? Have those few extra pounds multiplied? Maybe it's time to get back to the gym. What about conversation? Are you still holding your own? Maybe you could take a course or two......

Second, you have to make sure your loved one is continuing to meet your needs:

Are they doing their share of the housework? Do you still find them attractive? If not, can you get them to do something about their appearance? How about their behavior? Are they doing enough of the right things? Are they really demonstrating to you, not to mention others, that they really and truly love you? Are they loving you in all the ways you NEED to be loved.......

Sounds exhausting doesn't it? The unconditional love of the Second World is a lot less labor intensive. People get to be who they really are, and we get to be there for them whenever there's a need we're guided to fill.

It's important to mention that in the Second World we're not going to be guided to do the impossible, but only what we can to make the world a better place. When the Christ's breath blows through us, we

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are led to make music that enhances life - one note, or step, at a time.

6. How do I handle the problem of loneliness when I don't have a special relationship?

Loneliness is a problem that can only occur in the First World. It is a by-product of the sorting behavior we practice, and the separation we experience as a result. We all stand outside the great majority of circles of care, and we may be exiled from the few we're in for not meeting needs. At times, we all even exclude ourselves from our own circles of care....

Consider: How well do you take care of yourself? Do you eat and sleep well? Keep stress to a minimum? Set good boundaries? In the world of the First Paradigm, it is possible to be lonely for our own care.

* * *

In the First World, there is something I call “the loneliness quotient.” It is equivalent to our degree of absence in the moment, and is the obverse of what I call the Presence quotient, so that for example, if we are 40% present (and connected) then we are 60% absent (and disconnected or lonely).

In the Second World, where we are 100% Present, loneliness is an impossibility. We can't experience the deepest connection possible with all that is each moment and still be lonely. It just can't happen.

It's important to reiterate that in the Second World, our connection is to ALL that is. Loneliness then is seen as not just a matter of being

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alienated from people, but also from all other objects that exist in any given moment, i.e. material objects, ideas, events, etc.

Personally, when I lose my connection to all that is, and am “living lonely” as a result, I notice that I treat the physical objects around me without consideration. There is ongoing violence as I torque things on and off, and yank things open and shut. I am sometimes in such a rush that I stomp up to automatic doors and then have to stand there for a second or two waiting for them to open!

When we don't feel connection to all the physical objects that that surround and serve us, and treat them disrespectfully as a result, it reflects another face of loneliness. The cure is Presence: connecting with 100% of our attention, and 100% of our heart, to all that is, without condition.

7. Do I keep my personality in the Second World?

Alas, yes! This means both that you will continue to annoy and delight some people, and continued to feel annoyed and delighted. Asking this question is a little like asking: will my hair still be brown? Well, yes it will, and some people will continue to like it or not, including you.

The main thing about the experience of personality in the Second World is that a layer of drama is removed. Since polar morality disappears in this world, when something harmful occurs, there is no additional layer of moralizing. For example....

Say in the First World a person harms us in some way, so that we

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experience physical or emotional pain. We then often say a series of things that create drama: That was awful! That was terrible! It never should have happened! He shouldn't have done that! He was wrong! He is a bad person! How can I get even??!!! This is how drama and escalation enter the picture of First World personality, but with the absence of polarity in the Second, drama and escalation stop.

In the Second World moreover, we often see the car crash coming and get out of the way, taking as many other people as we can to safety. If we don't make it and get hit, or others get hit, we get aid, offer aid and then see what we can do to dismantle the conditions that caused the crash. And so on, and so on. There will always be crashes, and there will always be conditions that need to be dismantled, but in the Second World, there is no need to climb aboard the morality train and waste valuable energy in condemnation and revenge. Drama and escalation are beside the point. In the Second World, we don't pay for our morality with polarity. It's free from duality, just like everything else.

8. What about my ego? You didn't clarify what happens to it.

In the Second Paradigm, the ego is a lot like the appendix, an organ which has outlived its usefulness. As the agent of “me and mine first” in a world where the welfare of all is equally important, the ego no longer has a viable platform.

But it won't go without a fight. Luckily this process is facilitated by a number of factors, suffering being foremost among them.

Suffering often helps to soften the hard shell of the ego, so it

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gradually wears away, allowing us to make full contact with life outside ourselves. This is the first gift of suffering. The second is empathy: the more we suffer, the more empathy we have for the wider world of people facing similar problems, and our connections to the world become stronger.

Experiencing these connections to the wider world is central to Second World life; at length we realize the “special self” we once so highly valued as unique can barely think a thought, feel a feeling, or perform an action that hundreds, or thousands, or even millions of other human beings in the world aren't also thinking, feeling or doing at the exact same time.

We also realize that the elements of our “special self” of which we were once so proud - including our intelligence, our attractiveness, our skills and abilities, and our accomplishments - reflect conditions for which we can realistically take little or no credit.

Under pressure from all of these influences - the attrition of suffering, the increase of empathy, the awareness of our common humanity and of the arbitrary nature of our blessings - the ego, along with its notion of a “special self”, gradually deflate.

The image that comes to my mind to illustrate this scenario is when the Wicked Witch of the West is melting, along with all of her “beautiful wickedness.” Who can argue that the world that remains when she's gone is a much better place?

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9. Does one still need to plan in the Present Moment, or are you guided step by step as to what you must do?

My experience up to this point is that our path is guided as to its general direction, while the “step by step” part is up to us. That said, the brain is a marvelous tool for planning the specifics, and one we should put to use whenever we can avoid the trap of identifying with its use.

Since we First World citizens so often equate our brains, as well as their thoughts and associated actions, with our very selves, we must take care to avoid grabbing these false banners of identity and proudly running off with them. When we can remain identified with our true nature, which is emptiness, and stay fully connected to all that is, then using the mind to plan is a boon to Second World life.

10. What do success and progress look like in the Second World?

Success in the Second World means being Present all the time, so progress simply reflects an ever higher percentage of time spent being Present.

Using the “Presence Quotient” I referred to earlier, if we're 100% Present, then we have attained all the success we can in the Second World. We are, as Buddhist nun Pema Chodron likes to say: “fully cooked.” That said, through the ongoing service we are led to engage in through Presence, we will be making an ongoing difference in the world. While this difference could also be called progress, what's more important is the caring connection with which we make it.

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This limited idea of progress stands in stark contrast to that of the First World, where the potential for progress is endless since we can always:

get more material goodsbe a better personthink better thoughtsmake more and better friendshave more and better experiencesjoin more clubslearn more thingscreate more discover more, anddo more each day!

There is tremendous pressure in the First World to progress in all of these ways, but luckily such pressure is absent in the Second World, where our sole agenda is to connect.

11. What about change in the Second World? In the Setup, you said that it disappears - how can that be?

Well, when:

a) one moment is the same as the next since we connect to all that is with the same quality and quantity of attention (Presence) and

b) when time flows without interruption so that we experience a continuous “now”,

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then in what sense can anything be said to have changed? We are doing the exact same thing at every point in time.

Superficial differences remain in the Second World and the actors in each moment change, but the play is always the same: it is the ongoing creation of unconditional love.

Does unconditional love change from one moment to the next? No, because it's unconditional: same quality, same quantity, whether we're loving an ant, a cup of coffee, the look of our old sofa, or the pain in our neck.

12. I'm confused about Second World morality. I know you're said that guidance comes out of the present moment, but could you give me a concrete example? I mean, without an idea of right and wrong, how can people be expected to know what to do?

This is clearly a critical question. It would appear to First World eyes that a kind of anarchy must reign in the Second because polar morality no longer applies. But in the Second World, what replaces it is an enduring order of the highest kind: guidance about what to do comes from deep connection with all that is in every moment. You could say it comes from full contact with the “Godness”, and the goodness of God, inherent in each moment, which speaks to you in the form of ongoing insight.

Moreover, because Second World sight is unlimited by the primacy of self interest and all its associated blind spots, we are better positioned to solve a problem because we're open to all the information available rather than just that subset that relates to our

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own needs. In this general sense, Second World sight often succeeds where that of the First World fails. Second World citizens are able to see more, and as a result they can act more quickly and effectively to reduce harm without chopping the world into morally opposed camps of good and bad, right and wrong.

Using a mnemonic device to signify this transformation, we could say that the little “i” becomes the Big Eye. The small “i” of the ego, fixated on its own needs and perceiving only the objects in the moment that could satisfy them, morphs into the Big Eye, now able to receive all the information available in the moment to respond to the moment's greatest need.

* * *

Now let me address the notion of “right and wrong” in the Second World, to the degree it can be addressed. It's this simple: when we are meeting our basic need to connect with all that is as it is through our choice to be Present, we're doing “right”, and when we're not, we're doing “wrong”. Why does this work? Because when we achieve the full awareness and compassion of Presence, our inclination is to promote the welfare of all that is, thereby reducing harm. And when we're not fully Present, we're back in the First World where our inclination is to promote our own welfare often at the expense of others, thereby causing harm.

In my own life, I notice I have a speed limit for Presence. When I move faster than this limit, trying to do something quickly to satisfy a need, I lose my connection to what is and mistakes start happening. I disregard people and things who are in my way, and I cause harm. Perhaps I make someone angry, or hurt their feelings; perhaps I

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break something due to inattention. When I slow down and remain in full connection, these kinds of mistakes stop happening. People are happier with me, and things are too.

In the most straightforward terms: life works for me when I'm Present, and things feel right; life doesn't work for me when I'm absent, and things feel wrong. That's as far as the Second Paradigm can go with the polar morality of the First World.

13. You alluded to Karma earlier. I don't understand what you wrote. I like to think of Karma as the mechanism of justice in the world. If Karma isn't about justice, then where is justice in the Second Paradigm?

First let me clarify what I wrote about karma. In the First Paradigm, I mentioned that karma is the digestive result of “consuming” all the apparent differences of the signed universe via judgment. For example, when we treat someone we judge to be “attractive, good and right” better than someone we judge to be “unattractive, bad and wrong”, we help the former and harm the latter. The help and harm we do by judging difference bears fruit, which itself bears fruit, and so forth.

In other words, when we act with prejudice, whether it is positive or negative in nature, we perpetuate prejudice, and this is karma. In the Second World, there is no prejudice in either direction, so there is nothing to perpetuate, and karma disappears.

But if karma with its notion of “what goes around comes around” isn't actively dispensing justice in the Second World, then what does dispense justice?

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In the Second Universe, justice abides in the guarantee that every citizen can freely and continuously access the greatest gifts of life through Presence. That is:

1. every single person in the world can freely choose to be Present at any time, under any circumstances, unconstrained by any outside force, and 2. through this choice they can access all the gifts of Presence, including the highest quality and quantity of Intelligence available for support and guidance.

In addition to this individual choice, there is also the potential of momentum as more and more individuals make this choice: when more people, through Presence, treat the welfare of all that is as equally important to their own, then the quantity of justice that prevails in the world will also increase.

14. When you referred to “deep, ongoing contact with the Godness inherent in each moment” in questions 12, is that what you mean by Presence?

Yes, that's a good way of putting it metaphysically, and for those who are not Deists the reframe would be: “deep, ongoing contact with the intelligence of all that is.” But there's a mathematical explanation that's important too.

Presence means freeing 100% of our attention to engage with whatever exists in the Present Moment. But in the First World, we devote huge portions of our attention to our desires and fears and the

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getting and avoiding we must do to serve them. Let's say it's on the order of 80%. Can we be fully Present with 20% of our attention. Of course not. So the problem becomes a matter of reclaiming the 80%. One way of reclaiming attention resources is through the practice of meditation.

Using meditation, we can learn detachment from First World thoughts and feelings. Since it's likely that many readers will already be familiar with this practice, I will only provide a brief description: for for short periods, usually two 20 minute “sits” daily, we notice whatever flows through our minds without engaging. That is, we let thoughts and feelings march past our awareness like clouds in the sky, noticing them, but neither trying to hang onto them, or push them away. This effort is often facilitated by the use of a “homing device” for our awareness, such as a mantra, or focusing on the breath. In this way, as the link between our attention and First World thinking is repeatedly broken, our attachment to getting and avoiding is likewise weakened, and this frees up precious attention for Presence.

An even better way to detach from the First World and reclaim the attention is consumes is through the ongoing meditation of same moment, discussed on pages 27-30.

Until detachment is established, our tendency will be to escape the present moment, either because it doesn't contain everything we want to get, or because it contains something we want to avoid, and Presence will be impossible.

Yet as we master the math, and begin to reap the rewards of Presence, we come to understand that the present moment should not

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only not be avoided, but should be embraced as a sanctuary.

The nature of this sanctuary clarifies the metaphysical meaning of Presence:

Presence is the creation of a space made sacredby the care we devote to it

and receive in return.

15. Could you elaborate on the blessings of Presence?

The main blessing is this: through the connection of Presence we are fed. Presence is our umbilical chord for the greatest thing that exists in both worlds: deep connection. When we are Present, we release our full attention, that is, attention undiminished by attachment to getting and avoiding. Attention thus emptied is revealed to be full of care, so we are there for all that is in the moment with compassionate awareness. And when we make love to the world in this way, the world “makes love” to us in return.

As alluded to earlier, this lovemaking is the blessing of the Second World. When we fully attend to the world, we enter into an ongoing conversation with all that is: through our senses, objects speak to us about their nature; through flashes of insight, the world speaks to us about its organization and dynamics; through it all we experience a deep, supportive, connection to all that which is unconditional love. In the second world, we are never alone. Our ongoing company in the second world is always all that is, as it is, another name for which is God.

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16. Aren't there some circumstances where Presence would be impossible?

There are two situations which are most likely to derail presence; they are intense pleasure and intense pain. When we experience intense pleasure, a part of our First World self is at a remove trying to figure out how it can control the future to repeat the experience. Conversely, when we experience intense pain, after we've done what we can to treat it, we're at a remove as we resist the pain that remains, an effort which only increases our discomfort.

With respect to the first instance, since Second World citizens can access the unconditional pleasure of Presence at will, they get the hang of releasing the conditional pleasures of the First World fairly easily.

Managing pain is much more difficult, and it is a skill I have not yet begun to master. There are two books I can recommend however which do offer strategies for staying present with pain. Each is grounded in Eastern Philosophy. The first is called Full Catastrophe Living, and is by Jon Kabat Zin, a Professor of Medicine Emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. The second is called Break Through Pain, and is by Buddhist meditation teacher Shinzen Young. I found each book to be remarkable and useful, and I imagine you might find them useful as well.

17. Once one learns how to be Present, how does one stay Present?

Maintaining Presence is a matter of practicing same moment, which was alluded to earlier but is so important I want to elaborate on it

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here.

Same moment means as soon as one moment seems better or worse than another, we realize our attention has been shanghaied by the conditional world with its illusion of inequality, and full connection has been lost. As soon as we realize this, we gently reconnect with our full attention. Same moment resembles meditation, except that rather than doing it on a cushion, we do it moment by moment as we move throughout our day, and what we are attending to is not our thoughts but our level of Presence.

Same moment also means that a person in the Second World is always doing the same thing: making love to all that is, as it is, whether the object of our attention seems mundane or exceptional. Same moment includes the ideas of same person, same thing, same place and same time: it is all sacred, and when we connect through Presence, we become sacred too.

* * *

When attention is shanghaied by desire or fear, then unconditional lovemaking to all that is ceases, and the conditionally valued First World reappears, hiding the Second. The practice of same moment brings the Second World fully back into focus, reminding us that all that is as it is is equally valuable. The following story illustrates these ideas.

As a rule, I do not enjoy flossing my teeth at night. I'd rather be snuggling in bed with a good book. (My apologies if you were expecting something more spicy!) In my First World mind, flossing my teeth is a “bad” moment, while lying in bed with a good book is

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a “good” one. So whenever I floss my teeth in the First World I rush through the job, because I can't wait to get to my book. As a result, I occasionally cut my fingers and gums through carelessness, and I experience an uncomfortable tightness in my shoulders as I resist the process.

When I'm in the impartial mind of the Second World, I realize that flossing my teeth is “same moment” - no better or worse than any other - and I begin to floss my teeth with my full attention and care, that is, with Presence, and without resistance.

When the resistance stops and Presence starts, I notice details about my teeth that “speak to me” so I can do a better job of flossing. With Presence, flossing is an act of respect, even a privilege: I'm caring about the amazing living tools with which I eat.

In the Second World, this kind of respect and care, with its attendant attitude of being privileged to act, is repeated moment by moment as we interact with a world that reveals itself to be increasingly miraculous.

18. Do I have to stay Present all the time? I mean, can't I just tune out and take a break occasionally?

Well, if you look at Presence as the umbilical chord through which you are fed, then staying away for great lengths of time could cause starvation. You will work this out on your own schedule however: as Presence becomes more and more fulfilling, and absence less and less satisfying, then...

“tuning out” will feel more and more stressful, and “tuning in” will feel more and more restful.

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19. What is the political position of the Second Paradigm?

The Second World's political position stems from a simple phrase in the Invocation of the New American Haggadah for Seder, the Jewish Passover celebration:

We are reminded this night That we cannot truly be freeAs long as others are enslaved.

In the Second World, we understand that as long as one person is not free, whether politically or economically, then we are not free.

Thus the major platform of Second Paradigm politics accords with F.D.R.'s proposed Second Bill of Rights, as quoted in this Wikipedia excerpt reporting his State of the Union address on January 11, 1944:

We have come to a clear realization of the fact that true individual freedom cannot exist without economic security and independence. “Necessitous men are not free men.” People who are hungry and out of a job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made.In our day these economic truths have become accepted as self-evident. We have accepted, so to speak, a second Bill of Rights under which a new basis of security and prosperity can be established for all—regardless of station, race, or creed.Among these are:The right to a useful and remunerative job in the industries or shops or farms or mines of the nation;The right to earn enough to provide adequate food and clothing and recreation;

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The right of every farmer to raise and sell his products at a return which will give him and his family a decent living;The right of every businessman, large and small, to trade in an atmosphere of freedom from unfair competition and domination by monopolies at home or abroad;The right of every family to a decent home;The right to adequate medical care and the opportunity to achieve and enjoy good health;The right to adequate protection from the economic fears of old age, sickness, accident, and unemployment;The right to a good education.All of these rights spell security.

And so they do. While Roosevelt wasn't successful in passing most of the elements of this bill, we in the Second World carry his banner forward as activists whose walk and talk is: security for all.

20. How do I manage all the suffering in the world?

There are several approaches to handling both the suffering, and the wounded heart that results from seeing it. First of all, it's important to say that an ever open heart is an ever wounded one: a wounded heart is the first consequence of awareness. How could it not be? The First World is rife with ignorance, and seeing the fruit of ignorance causes pain. Such pain is normal in the Second World, and instrumental: the wounded heart becomes the eye that guides compassionate action.

In a way, we are gifted to see suffering, because without such a gift,

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we would be unable to intervene.

But how do we help? In general terms, there is a quote I love to paraphrase: Do all the good you can, in all the ways you can, for as long as ever you can. Serving the welfare of all is our common Second World calling, and the specific nature of the service we are each called to do will be revealed to us through the ongoing connection of Presence.

But how we do we support ourselves as we serve? A salve for our wounded heart is the justice addressed in question 13: the knowledge that the fulfillment of the Second World, and its freedom from suffering, is freely available to anyone for the asking.

21. How do I get to the Second World from here, and how long does it take to get there?

The Second World is not somewhere we can “get”: getting and avoiding are only First World realities.

The best description of a travel plan to the Second World is not getting, but rather letting go: we let go of our attachment to the First World of getting and avoiding, and along with it, our First World identity as a “special self”. When that happens, Second World reality appears as if by magic. In fact, it was there all along awaiting our discovery: it was simply concealed by our attachment to the First World.

We could say that letting go requires a leap of faith. That is certainly true - somehow we must release all we've been taught by our loved ones and by our culture - to arrive at the counterintuitive fulfillment

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that is possible only in the Second Paradigm.

I want to describe the precise nature of this faith, because without it, we won't be able to muster the courage to let go and leap: it's like standing on the edge of that high dive, looking down into the water far below and trusting that not only will life be good after you leap, but even better than before.

If you'll take a moment to imagine the very best times of your life, you'll realize they were times when you were fully and deeply Present, experiencing a deep connection with all that is. We have all had these moments. We know Presence is healing, fulfilling, and meaningful. It is not however, something we make happen. It is more a matter of grace, something that happens when we get out of the way.

A further critical point is that we are all destined for, and called by, Presence. It's our default mode once all the clutter of the First World is cleared away. The compassionate awareness of Presence is our very nature, our birthright, always waiting to be claimed.

So, how do we arrive in the Second World? We let go of all our attachments to the First, and relax into our basic nature, which is Presence: an open hearted, fully aware, empty receptivity.

Presence establishes and maintains the deep connection to all that is that tells us what to do next, and in very general terms, what we do next is always the same thing: we create love. This is our sole destiny.

As to how long it takes to get to the Second World, your rate of

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travel varies directly with desire: you'll come just as fast as your desire to arrive is strong. All you have to do is let go.

22. How do I know when I've become a permanent resident?

When nothing can steal away your Presence ever, why then, you have permanently arrived in the Second World! This state, however, will not prevail until you've learned to rely upon it completely for your sustenance.

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My Personal First and Second World Stories

My Life in the First World

Most of my life I've been a typical Type A person. Rushing was probably my most salient characteristic. I remember looking at the “OK to walk” icon at street corners - a little man all lit up with his arms and legs akimbo, and thinking “I'm like him - I'm moving even when I'm standing still!”

One of my advisers when I was in school told me with concern: “I always feel rushed when I'm with you.”

As you might imagine, I got a lot of speeding tickets. You could say, it wasn't that much fun to be me, or to be around me. The best that could be said about my lifestyle is that I got a lot done.

Because I pushed my way through life, I was hard on things. There was lots of breakage, spillage, and rework, not to mention hurt feelings.

I lived with a series of partners, and then the “partnering period” seemed to be over, and I worried about having no one to take care of me. I was scared about growing older, alone.

* * *

Besides rushing, I had other worrisome traits, worry being chief among them. I wasn't just worried about my own life, but also concerned about the suffering in the world. I was idealistic, and wanted the world, and everyone in it, to be different from what they

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were. I wanted people to stop hurting each other. Along with idealism came self-righteousness, and I quick to judge and blame accordingly.

I was as hard on myself as I was on others, and spent the bare minimum of time caring for myself. I resented cooking and did little of it.

I also felt scared in the world: too many bad things happened, and I couldn't find anything worthy of my unconditional trust.

Then a therapist I was seeing suggested meditation, and when I tried it, the world began to slow down, and I actually began to see. I also began a long period of reading books written from an Eastern perspective.

Pema Chodron, the Buddhist nun referred to earlier, said during one of her talks that people who came to Buddhism were very serious, because they had experienced much suffering. That was true for me. I was all ears to the Buddhist “party line”, and the more I heard, the more my world of suffering unraveled. What took its place is the world I've described in the second section of this booklet: the Second Paradigm. While I still suffer as I weave in and out of the First World, most of the drama is gone.

My Life in the Second World

My life has been transformed in a major way by exposure to Eastern thought. My relationship to all that is has changed. I'm going to describe the resulting experience with several objects, beginning with the world of material things.

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What first comes to mind is that my sensual experience of the world has deepened. I enjoy just looking at things, appreciating their shape and color. There seems to be a still life everywhere I look, because common objects seem beautiful to me. Touching is likewise rewarding, and informative. Through the full attention of Presence, it does seem as if objects “speak” to me of their nature, so that I understand more about what makes them tick.

A practical result is that things work well around me: my plants are thriving, and I have become a good cook. I also don't break as many things as I used to. When I'm in the Second World, I'm in an ongoing conversation with things, listening to what they do in response to what I do, instead of bullying my way through life as I did before. When I am in touch, respect “seasons” what I touch, and I am sensually rewarded for being attentive.

For the most part, I have stopping rushing. Along with the rushing go pushing, shoving, slamming, and not incidentally, ignoring. I pay attention to everything when I'm Present.

When I type, I'm often aware of feeling each key as I touch it, and with this ongoing connection I make fewer mistakes.

My relationship with myself has also transformed. I have developed compassion and respect for all the sides of my idiosyncratic First World “self”. As a result, I've become more attentive to my needs. Most important is my discovery that I can completely meet my need for deep connection on my own, simply by choosing to be Present with things as they are, and that through choosing Presence, loneliness vanishes.

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I learned that I can hold myself with care, both literally and figuratively, and that I am, in a very real sense, held by the world through the connection that comes with Presence. My search for a “special someone” to care for me has, in the process, lost the paradigm that supported it.

My experience in relationship with people has also transformed, although those who know me well will be happy to tell you I still have one foot firmly planted in the First World, sometimes buried up to the knee!

What I've noticed about myself so far is that I'm kinder and gentler, as the saying goes. When I'm talking to a stranger on the phone, I take time to connect with their humanity. I am much less focused on getting something from them, or avoiding something, and when I invest all of my awareness in simply building a connection to another human being, the payoff is tremendous.

I still suffer from high expectations, but I am a little less demanding now, and a little more understanding. I get that we all have to be who we are, and there isn't a lot of choice in this: it is normal and natural for us to be exactly “who we are”, however abnormal or unnatural our behavior may appear to others. As such, I've learned that the behavior of others, and even my own, is nothing to be taken personally, whatever its sign. I view all First World behavior as karmic - the natural result of a string of conditions playing out their momentum - and the best response is always compassion: compassion for the agony, compassion for the ecstasy.

My emotional life has changed accordingly. I spend far less time in

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the second layer of drama, making cases against people in my head when it appears they've caused harm, or telling myself self righteous stories about how things should be.

I feel the full range of emotions we humans are capable of, but now mostly they just blow through. I'm less inclined to try to hold onto joy, or resist unavoidable pain. When I cry now, it seems I cry “clean” tears, ones unclouded with drama, and it almost feels as if they sparkle on my face.

I am still in a number of special relationships, but I struggle far less with connection: when my momentum and that of a friend or colleague are consistently at odds, I am learning to let be rather than resist. Also, the new connections I'm making are becoming less special in nature, and more geared towards accomplishing the common goal of service to what we commonly see as our world family.

As for ideas and institutions, they also appear karmic to me, that is, I see them as entities that have come into being through a set of conditions, and which will play out their momentum accordingly. I find that I am more open to them, and more curious about their evolution, as a result.

What I notice at the end of the day as I'm lying in bed at night thinking of how it all went, is that I'm less interested now in the pluses and minuses of the day - that is, what I got and what I avoided - and much more interested in the quality of connection I was able to maintain. I think about the connections that worked, and the ones that didn't, and I try to open my heart to understanding how I can deepen each connection.

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Perhaps the most important thing is that I've learned to use the Present Moment as a sanctuary, and I'm spending more time there. Whenever my feelings get out of hand and start running off into the future to get or avoid something, or when they dwell with nostalgia in the less stressful times of the past, I escape into the Present Moment, where I find the simple peace of connection to things as they are right now. It's starting to feel more like home.

Dual Citizenship

While some people fall into the Second World and stay forever, others keep a foot in both worlds for some time. My experience has clearly been the latter.

My sense is that there's nothing to worry about, whatever the case. It is my belief that each of us will move at our own speed towards the healing and wholeness of the Second World, letting go of our attachment to the First as we can.

* * *

My wish for you on this journey, should it prove to be yours, is the peace, security and equanimity of an ever deepening and comforting Presence, so that despite any circumstance, you will be free from suffering.

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Appendices A Chart comparing the two paradigmsB DefinitionsC Recommended Reading

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Appendix A: Chart comparing the two paradigms

Note:

FW = First WorldSW = Second WorldCOC = Circle of CareID = Identity

FW Polarity: Plus Zero Minus SW Infinityagenda get: ignore: avoid: we connect deeply with all that isperception attractive invisible repulsive we perceived everything as worthypreference likeable uninteresting unlikeable we prefer all that is in the momentassessments good irrelevant bad we assess all that is to be equally worthymorality right a-moral wrong we practice a morality free of polarityCOC action include exclude exclude we include all that in our circle of carewell being/ID/esteem

thriving

surviving

threatened

our well being and esteem are unconditional; our identity is empty

feelings happiness impassivity sadness we feel equanimity as we accept all of life as it is

Language Story of the First World:When our agenda is to get, we try to pull more and more of the objects we deem to be attractive, likeable, good and right into our circles of care. When our agenda is to ignore or avoid, we exclude everything we deem to be repulsive, uninteresting, unlikeable, irrelevant, bad, amoral, and wrong, out of our circles. When we are successful in this effort, our COC's are growing and thriving along with our identity, so our self esteem is high and we are happy. When we are just “breaking even”, our COC's are stable but static along with our identity, so our self esteem is stable and we are relatively impassive. When our COC's are shrinking however, our identity does too, so our self esteem is low, and we are sad. (The Second World language story can be read as it is above in the chart.)

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Appendix B: DefinitionsNote: when (1st, 2nd) follows a word in this list, the first entry reflect the First World definition, and the second the Second.

affiliation: the feeling of connection we experience when all of the world's objects are equally valued

agenda (1st, 2nd)1: to meet our needs to survive and thrive2: to eliminate any barrier to Presence

alienation: the feeling of disconnection we experience when objects are unequally valued

All That Is: God or Godness, the system of Intelligence behind the visible and invisible worlds

assessment (1st, 2nd)1: via polarity, such that objects are assessed as good or bad, or right and wrong, following need relevance2: via equality where all that is is assessed as equally valuable

Christ's breath - motive Intelligence, God moving through us

circle of care - the limited group of the world's objects we care for and identify with

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conditional love - the love which exists in the First World, which is sustained only on the condition that needs are met

conditional well being - well being which depends on the status of our circle of care

disinterested relationship - relationship in which our only agenda is full, authentic connection in the moment

ego - the First World idea of a “special self” which includes all the objects in our circle of care; common elements include our appearance, personality, abilities, accomplishments, possessions, relationships, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.

emptiness - the state of equality that appears when the polarity of the First World disappears; the state of the Second World “self” that appears when all of the identity components of the ego disappear.

fear - a feeling describing our concern about losing an object in our circle of care, or about not getting a desired object; the ongoing state of disconnection and insecurity we experience due to the practice of inequality

First World or Paradigm - the world of polarity whose main characteristic is the practice of inequality

fun (1st, 2nd) - 1: getting something you assess to be good (food, sex,

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entertainment) 2: being Present with all that is, as it is

getting and avoiding - the major agenda of the First World, where we try to get everything we need for inclusion in our circle of care, as we avoid and exclude everything deemed harmful or irrelevant

gifts of Presence - 1) fully enhanced sensuality; 2) full access to insight; 3) full hearted connection to All That Is, and 4) a continuous feeling of affiliation and unconditional well being

God - the Intelligence behind All That Is in both the seen and unseen worlds

hope - what we feel when the present moment isn't enough – we hope things will improve and that we'll be able to meet more of our needs to survive and thrive by pulling more objects into our circles of care.

identity (1st, 2nd)1: all of the objects in our circle of care2: receptive emptiness

major need (1st, 2nd)1: to survive and thrive2: to be Present (love unconditionally)

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morality (1st, 2nd) 1: polar judgment (right/wrong) and treatment (accept/reject) according to need relevance2: equality (all that is, is treated as equally valuable)

objects - any noun, including people, traits, personality characteristics, material objects, ideas, institutions, actions, etc.

perception (1st, 2nd)1: via need relevance; required objects stand out for preferential treatment2: via equality: all objects stand out as equally worthy of respect

polarity - a fact of First World life where the objects are unequally valued according to their need relevance

preference (1st, 2nd)1: we are most attracted to need relevant objects2: we are attracted to all that is equally

Presence - connection to all the objects in the moment with 100% of our awareness and 100% of our compassion; the practice of equality or unconditional love

progress (1st, 2nd)1: getting a higher quantity and quality of objects in one's circle of care2: coming closer to being Present

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same moment: when no moment seems any better or worse than any other; when all objects in the moment are equally valued; Presence

Second World or Paradigm - the world of equality, where all things are assessed and treated as equally worthy

separation - the feeling of alienation we have when we sort all the objects of the world into and out of our circles of care according to need relevant (self interested) assessments of their worth

sorting - the primary practice of the First World, where objects are included or excluded from our circle of care according to need relevance and associated estimations of value

special relationship - a conditional relationship between any person and any object in their circle of care

time (1st, 2nd)1: created by investing a majority of our awareness in the past and the future as we try to get and avoid2: disappears when we live in the ongoing “now”

unconditional love - the disinterested love of the Second World where compassionate connection is offered to all that is, as it is

unconditional well being - our state of being when we are Present

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C List of recommended reading

The following books have been helpful to me on my personal journey. They may prove useful to you as well:

Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations for Codependents. First edition. New York, HarperCollins Publishers, 1990. Print.

Brach, Tara. Radical Acceptance. First edition. New York, Bantam Dell, 2003. Print.

Chodron, Pema. Start Where you Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living. Boston, Shambhala Publications, Inc., 1994. Print.

Hanh, Thich Nhat. you are here: Discovering the Magic of the Present Moment. First edition. Boston, Shambala Publications, Inc. 2009. Print.

Ladinsky, Daniel. Love Poems From God. New York, Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 2002. Print.

Ladinsky, Daniel. The Gift: Poems by Hafiz, the Great Sufi Master. New York, Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 1999. Print.

Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Novato, New Work Library, 1999. Print.

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