The Regular Joe, Austin, May/June

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Letter from the EditorIn the Joe3. Letter from the Editor 4. An Austin Toastmaster in the Making 5. Put Some Manners on that Dog 6. Have a Ball at Copper! 6. Safe Mobile Banking 7. Canyon Lake — Good Times 8.&9. Bicycle Riding in Austin — Where to Start 10. Fall Creek Vineyards 11. What if Glinda Had a Vocal Coach? 12. Weird! 12. Training for the 5/10k, Week Five

13. The Mini-Marketers (and their parents) Are Coming for You!

14. Joke, Wordsearch 15. Joe’s Mug Shots

Owners of The Regular Joe, Austin, LLCKit Christie Sally Hanan

Editor in ChiefSally Hanan

Contributing Photographers Gerry Hanan Marty Gast

Design & LayoutGerry Hanan Zack Hanan

ContributorsAnne Fish Miles O’Neal Rose DiGrazia Eric Clemons Nell Scott Kyle Baker David Furer Kit Christie Sally Hanan Paul Carrozza Jay Kerner

Send us your comments, suggestions, etc. If you’d like to write for us, please email us your idea/query before you write the article.If you are interested in advertisingwith us, we’ll be happy to answer any questions you may have.

[email protected]|554-9905

THE REGULAR JOE 12407 N. Mopac Expy.,Ste. 250-388, Austin, TX 78758

The cover photo is of members of the Austin Cycling Association heading out for a cycle. The photo was taken on the hill overlooking Mozart’s by Gerry Hanan of Hananexposures.com.

to dump all of your crapola into. 3) Never have expectations as to when the work will be done and how much perfection you will get. If you want perfection, ask for it and pay more for it. 4) Never assume that you and your significant other will still be talking by the end of it all. You’ll be glad to hear that hubby and I are still talking, despite the fact that we had to move a few pieces of furniture out onto the patio to free up floor space, covered it all with cheap tarps and got water damage on the wood as a result.... Lessons learned. If you’re thinking of selling this year, now is a good time to do it, thanks to the current shortage of homes available for sale. Good luck! Sally

Dear readers, We’re in the middle of getting our house fixed up so we can sell it for our purchase price before its value drops by over 25 percent again. My goal is to make the home seekers who walk in our door have such a strong emotional attachment to our home’s beauty and charm that nothing else will matter and they must have it now. And after working with some of Austin’s finest, I might just succeed in that quest. I have to give a shout-out here for our painters, Capital City Paint & Restore. They went above and beyond, showed up at 8 a.m. every morning, and had a price that was a huge relief to our budget. I’ve learned a few things during this restoration project: 1) Never schedule two jobs at one time unless you can be sure that the two teams will never get in each other’s way. 2) Never have stuff going on in every room in the house, because it means you will have no available free rooms

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An Austin Toastmaster in the MakingBy Anne Fish

I was standing in front of the mirror at my condo for hours, pacing and talking like a crazy person over a period of several days, starting the stopwatch on my iPhone time after time. Then the introduction: “The date was September 1, 1989. I was awakened that morn-ing by my neighbor, who was shaking me and shouting, ‘Senorita, que ya se va, que ya nos vamos’ (‘Young lady, it’s leaving, we’re leaving’)”… and the story goes on. For 4-6 minutes. If I go over 6:30 I am not eligible for the Best Speaker ribbon. I want that ribbon. It is my “Icebreaker” speech. That means the first speech in front of the group. My voice doesn’t quiver, but my stomach feels the butterflies that most people experience when making a speech or doing any kind of presenta-tion in front of a group. They say speaking is like learning to swim. The more you practice, the bet-ter you become. The difference is that learning to swim can’t help you when interviewing for a job or giving that presentation to your boss. Good speak-ing skills can. That is why I stood in front of my mirror practicing for hours on end, and why I felt comfortable having a group of individuals evaluate

me at the end of my speech, which I dubbed “My Parachute” — all about taking risks. That group is called the Austin Toastmasters Club, and it is one of 13,500 clubs worldwide with over 280,000 members in over 116 coun-tries. Toastmasters International was formed in 1924 to help individuals like you and me develop skills in public speaking, listening, giving feedback, decision making, delegating and men-toring. In the early 1900s the word “toastmaster” referred to a person who proposed the toasts and introduced the speakers at a banquet. The list of distinguished members of these clubs includes authors, politicians, business-men and women, NBA coaches, philan-thropists and even a world renowned astronaut. I had heard of Toastmasters for years; my grandfather was a member in Houston in the 1950s. He was an accomplished attorney, yet he joined the ranks of membership to hone his

public speaking skills. The first club in Austin was founded by Boyce Campbell in 1951, and was called the Tejas Toast-masters Club from the Caddo Indian word “tejas” meaning “friend” or “ally.” That club is still alive today in our capital

city! The Austin Toastmasters Club, a spin-off of the Tejas club, was founded in May of 1980 by David Abel and Jim Goff. The club originally met at Wy-lie’s Bar and Grill on Sixth Street and remained a downtown club for many years, including a long stint at the fa-mous Driskill Hotel. The social nature of the club was spawned during the early years, when it was known as the Sixth Street club. Austin Toastmasters still enjoy the Post Meeting Social at a local restaurant following the Tuesday meetings. Most notable about the Austin Toastmasters Club is the annual banquet which they have hosted each year since 1982, and which has been featured in the international magazine Toastmaster. I’ve been told that suc-cess leaves clues. Some of the success-ful honorees who have spoken at this banquet and left clues for the attendees include the former governor of Texas,

Ann Richards; former director of the NSA and deputy director of the CIA, Admiral Bobby Inman; and nationally known humorist and broadcast person-ality Cactus Pryor (from Austin). This June the honored guest speaker at the banquet will be Major Mary Jennings Hegar, who served three tours over two deployments to Afghanistan as a Com-bat Search and Rescue (CSAR) pilot. She was awarded the Purple Heart and the Distinguished Flying Cross with a Valor Device for heroism while partici-pating in an aerial mission near Kanda-har Airfield on July 29, 2009. MJ is the sixth woman to receive the DFC, the first being Amelia Earhart. In about a week I will be pacing in front of my mirror again, timer set and speech written. I’ve been told that the more prepared you are the less nervous you will feel. As with anything, prac-tice makes perfect … or better. After all, that is the goal — to be more pro-ficient at speaking in front of groups. Toastmasters International is one of the longest lasting and cost-effective (at less than $100/year for membership) skill-building, communication and leadership development tools available anywhere. Plus, it is a heck of a lot of fun! (Visit austintoastmasters.org for more information.)

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Put Some Manners on that DogBy Miles O’Neal Seventy percent of all dogs in shelters are owner surrendered. Think about that a moment. Almost three-quarters of all dogs at a shelter were sent there or abandoned (the ultimate owner surrender) by an owner who gave up. That’s not an indictment of all owners; many of them tried but really didn’t know what to do with a dog who wouldn’t obey, who barked all night, who dug out of the yard, who bit people, or who chewed up furniture, toys, and home electronics. For years, pretty much the only tools we had were forms of punish-ment — scolding, whacking, rubbing their nose in their urine ... in general the sorts of things we wouldn’t want done to us. But over the last couple of decades, researchers and trainers have developed rewards-based methods that encourage good behavior. It sounds almost too good to be true, but these are proven methods. My wife and I witnessed some impressive results at a recent Home Manners class by Hearts and Paws. Diana Smith had been training animals for about a decade when the decision was made to involve her whole family. With her husband, Chip, and sons, Trevor and Ryan, she began a full-time boarding and training opera-tion. As it grew over the years, they had to move and find new venues for training. Eventually they opted to focus on training, as running a 24/7 boarding operation became too much for a small family. Between Diana’s experience with several local animal shelters and the family’s research and experience, they realized that many puppies (along with older dogs) were being abandoned or shuttled off to new homes due to owner frustration. Recognizing that not everyone was interested (or sure about) their standard offerings, they decided to provide free classes in home manners for people with young dogs. Home Manners is for educating people, not for training dogs. While a couple of people brought their puppies,

the only puppy involved was one Diana had already been working with, Annie Oakley. Annie was there to demon-strate behavior related to things she had started learning, and it was impressive. We watched Annie quickly learn not to try to get food off a table. We learned easy ways to keep dogs from jumping on people, digging and chewing up furniture. Perhaps more impor-tantly, we learned why dogs tend to do these things. Most of these be-haviors are normal behav-iors a dog would require to survive in the wild. Some are actually crucial to liv-ing among humans, but we fail to recognize them. We should not be surprised at such behavior, nor should we try to obliterate it. It’s easier, more productive and much healthier for the

dog if we help channel these behaviors (just as it is with people). Diana walked us through how a puppy develops over the first few months, explaining key behavioral traits at each stage and ways of dealing with these traits. She provided tools to make mealtimes fun learning experi-ences. She explained the mistakes we make that lead to puppy accidents in the home. And we watched Annie ig-nore food on a table. I have never seen a dog do that, and I have known many, many dogs. This alone would be worth paying for, but Home Manners is free! The top reasons people come to Home Manners classes include: —not knowing how to communicate with a canine companion; —not taking time to communicate; information overload (usually from Web searches or well-meaning friends and family); —not knowing how to teach canines; —frustration with specific behaviors such as chewing; —finding hope. By the end of class, all of these is-sues have been dealt with. When asked about her goal, Diana said, “Training is the stepchild of dog ownership. People know they need to vaccinate and neuter, but don’t think of training or see the need. Training is a given.”

If there are children in the home or simply around a dog a lot, they should be involved in the training as well. This helps the dog learn to be around chil-dren and teaches the child how to better relate to the dog. The two hour class passed quickly. Everyone had fun and learned quite a bit. Diana and Trevor then took time to answer questions about specific problems. This is easily one of the best basic classes around. In addition to the free Home Man-ners class, Hearts and Paws offers a variety of training at reasonable rates, covering everything from agility to socialization to working with major behavioral problems. Home Manners meets once or twice a month, usually on Saturday after-noons. The next class is on Saturday, June 8, from 2PM to 4PM, at The Austin Vineyard Church, 13208 Morris Rd, 78729. Visit the Hearts and Paws website for more information on this and other classes: heartsandpaws.com. The staff includes three Certified Professional Dog Trainers (CDPT-KA), Diana and Trevor Smith and Kelly Springer. There is no sales pitch at the Home Manners class; they are simply trying to make your lives and your pets’ lives better. Check them out; you won’t be sorry.

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Have a Ball at Copper! Safe Mobile Banking

by Rose Di Grazia

Copper, formally known as Cake Ball, is a wonderful restaurant and dessert bar at the Domain in Austin. After you see all the copper pennies throughout this eatery and bar/restaurant, you will see why the name has been changed. They still specialize in bite-sized cakes, but they also focus on delicious lunches, dinners, appetizers and des-serts. The evening I went in and dined I was blown away by the food. It was on a stormy night, and I was perfectly happy trapped inside. I sat at the bar and enjoyed a beer and delectable dish from the happy hour menu. Out of all the happy hours at the Domain, I like Copper’s the best, simply because of the choices and the prices. The wine and food selection is stupendous, not to mention scrumptiously good!

I am a foodie and hard to please when it comes to food, and this place has it all — great tasting food, cleanliness that’s next to godliness, average prices and excellent service. Copper has it all. I dined on a delicious flatbread

pizza with pork, goat cheese, hum-mus, edamame and pita bread. Then for dessert I had the most incredible key lime pie. This pie is one you won’t want to share, so slap whomever’s hand is next to you and say, “Mine!” It is like no other key lime pie I have ever had. First off, the piece is huge but you still won’t want to share it; it’s rich and smooth and out of this world. It is topped with the most delectable cream too — just give me a bowl of the cream please. You will want to lick the plate. You will also have an mmmm attack —what happens when you can’t stop saying mmmm! I did this without real-izing it ‘til someone sitting next to me said, “You really like that, don’t you?” To top it off, it is just five bucks, so get your own for goodness sake! The drink specials, whether you order wine or beer, are just as wonder-ful. Certain wines by the glass are $5 and some beers are $3. That is great in my book! If you are out shopping, stop in for an Illy cappuccino and cake ball. Yum!! This is the one place at the Domain you can get a real cappuccino that tastes right. Make Copper your next choice for lunch, dinner or a snack. I could eat there every day. The food is that good and the service is excellent too! Believe me I am fussy, and this place meets all my standards. Check out their site at copperaustin.com or call (512) 215-3633. Ciao baby!

By Eric Clemons, VP of Software Development – Amplify Credit Union

A recent report released by the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston states that use of mobile banking increased 33% between 2011 and 2012. Given how busy our lives have become, being able to check account balances or make transfers between accounts while on the go can be a real life-saver. Be sure to use the same level of caution when conducting transactions on your mobile device that you would if you were using a branch. Here are some tips to ensure safer mobile bank-ing. —Set a strong account password that includes at least one number and capitalized letter. Try to change your password every 30 days. —Treat your phone like a computer by downloading security patch updates and antivirus software on your phone. Android offers this software for users. —Always secure your phone and SIM

card with a password. If your phone is ever lost or stolen, this will protect your private and secure information. —Always log off completely after using a mobile banking site or applica-tion. —Make sure to clear out all informa-tion on your phone before discarding it. Lock your device. Use the keypad lock or phone lock function on your mobile device so that when it is not in use, no one else can use it or view your infor-mation. —Use your mobile phone’s security features. Enable encryption and remote wipe capabilities if available. Consider using additional security software and antivirus solutions that may be avail-able for your type of mobile phone. —Disable interfaces that are not currently in use, such as Bluetooth, infrared, or Wi-Fi. Attackers have been known to exploit weaknesses in soft-ware that use these interfaces. For more tips on safer mobile banking, visit our website: www.goamplify.com.

Ben May, owner of Copper

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Canyon Lake — Good Times

By Erin Young The grayer skies of spring are finally giving way to the heat of a summer sun. The scent of sunscreen beckons me to the water; it reminds me that it will soon be hot enough to get more than just my feet wet. With great antici-pation, I can practically feel the water pour over me as I daydream of my first dive from the bow of a boat. This is what will ground me to the central Texas area for the entirety of my life. Natural springs bubble from moss-covered rocks and fill the streams that feed rapid rivers running to join the deeper waters of local lakes. It’s hardly short of heaven on earth. So take a step off I-35, get away from the noise of a tourist-saturated city and the crowded narrow waterways of Ladybird Lake. Nestled in between the rolling hills of central Texas, just a short trip away from the city limits, you’ll find Canyon Lake — sparkling and cool with the fresh waters of the roaring Guadalupe River in its depths. Whether you’re looking to spend a weekend away or take a family daytrip to find some fun, Canyon Lake offers a variety of recreational activities along scenic waterways and a canopy of countryside called home by an abun-dance of wildlife. With any combination of sought-after summer activities, here are just a few to get you started: For the Family — Start your morn-ing right with the down-home cooking

at Granny D’s, or for biscuits and gravy like momma used to make, try Startz Café. With a belly full, stay and digest a while and roam the local shops and boutiques. You’re sure to find unique surprises for the whole crew. Making your way back towards the lake, take the family to set up camp at the beaches of Cranes Mill Park or Potter’s Creek. Bar-b-que, throw a ball, swim and soak up some sun. Does your bunch prefer a little more excitement? Make Dad captain for a day and rent from a variety of ski boats, pontoons and deck boats at Canyon Lake Marina. At the end of the day, hungry and ready to relax, dine at any one of Can-yon Lake’s family friendly restaurants such as Big Country Pizza (a local fa-vorite), Las Barcas Mexican restaurant (where the food never disappoints) or perhaps tuck yourselves into one of the quaint corners at Italian Garden. With full stomachs and sun-kissed cheeks, enjoy a quiet ride home, be-cause the kids are bound to fall asleep tired and content. Romantic Weekend Getaway — Swoon your sweetheart with Canyon Lake’s impressive array of serene es-tablishments. Start off with an exciting picturesque tour of the hill country’s most pristine views with a ride on Can-yon Lake Helicopters. Get a closer look down a nature trail with a leisurely walk hand-in-hand, or spice up your afternoon with a little

competition and make your way onto the beautiful greens of Canyon Lake Golf Club. At the end of the day, bask in a decadent meal at Gennaro’s Trattoria, the best Italian food Canyon Lake has to offer, or cozy up lakeside with a drink at Lucky’s Sports Bar & Grill. With no shortage of romantic venues available for your weekend getaway, Canyon Lake hosts a number of lodges and bed and breakfasts. Your stay is sure to be a memorable one far removed from the regularity of a Holi-day Inn. Watch the sun set over the lake with a romantic evening at ArtisInn Bed & Breakfast, or walk onto your own deck overlooking the Guadalupe River at Hideout on the Horseshoe. Watersports for Everyone — Bring your boat. Rent a boat. Rent a Jet Ski. Get on the water! Come to “party cove” and see where the locals leap from cliffs and where strangers tie their

boats together to party and rock the day away on the water. Bring your tubes. Rent a tube. Check out Tubehaus, River Sports Tubes or Whitewater Sports and spend the day floating down Horseshoe Loop. Need I say more? Nightlife — Want to end your day of play with a nightcap? Stop in at The Shanty, another popular hotspot along the river, or grab some burgers and beers at Daisy Dukes Bar ‘N Grill. Whitewater Amphitheatre, one of the hottest new outdoor venues in cen-tral Texas, hosts a number of big names headlining some of the best music series events, concerts and artists to hit the charts. It is always a good time. There’s something for everyone. For more information, visit canyon-lakechamber.com, canyon-lake.net or canyonlakelodging.org to start your summer off right with a little r and r and a lot of good times.

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Bicycle Riding in AustinBy Kyle Baker Once upon a time, riding the Am-trak back into Austin, I found myself engaged in conversation with a tour-ist who was visiting from the land of the Tour de France. Remember, at the time Lance had not yet fallen from his pedestal. For my French friend, Austin was not the live music capital of the world; it was the home of Lance Arm-strong, equal parts reviled and admired in his home country for dominating the national event seven times in a row, a tour de force rarely accomplished in any major competitive sport with inter-national appeal. I will never forget the last few minutes of our ride as we came down Mopac, past the neighborhoods adja-cent and through the downtown area. “Wow,” he admired. “No wonder ... everyone rides bikes here!” Somehow I had never really noticed it ... but in Austin, cycling is cool. And it’s everywhere. Your bike can be just

as much a fashion statement as any-thing else here, and it often is. I know at least one hipster with a sweet fixie

worth as much as his car who finally put it up on Craigslist after almost two years of almost never riding it … but it was “his baby” and a living room centerpiece. And the community keeps growing. Austin’s city council has been pushing plans for expanding the cycling infra-structure for at least two decades now, and it hit the 5 percent of downtown traffic level last year, three years ahead of target. So I sat down with the president of the largest cycling club in Austin, Stanton Truxillo of the Austin Cycling Association (ACA), and asked him: How would someone break into the cycling scene in Austin, and how would one pick the right bike? “It depends on what kind of riding you want to do,” said Stanton. Cyclists come in many flavors: commuters, mountain bikers, distance recreational riders, racers. And while it’s true that high-end bikes can start amounting to several thousands of dollars, an entry

Stanton Truxillo

bike can be had for as low as $300, and a decent one — with quality components that will last you a lifetime — for $500; another $200 and you have a lightweight aluminum frame. (Don’t be tempted by ultra-cheap craigslist bikes; they won’t hold adjustment and will begin falling apart after a few weeks.) What would you get for spending a few more grand? “You reduce weight by a pound or two. And why would I do that when I could just go work out and lose a pound for free?” Good point, Stanton. There are different setups for touring and commuting and racing, but don’t sweat the details your first time. Just get a good all-rounder and start riding. A year or so in, you’ll have a better idea of what kind of rider you are and be ready to upgrade accordingly. Learn the ropes by joining a group. “There’s a ton of groups in town. The quickest way to meet some people is to join one of the clubs.” There are several racing clubs (Violet Crown, for one), but if you’re starting out, a great way is to

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— Where to Startjust join the ACA. What is the ACA’s vi-sion? Simple: “Education, advocacy and rides to put more people on bikes.” And to that end, they organized 600 rides last year, with an average of about 12 riders per ride, all over Austin. The rides are graded on a 4-point scale, from moderate D rides to up-tempo A rides, so you don’t have to worry about feeling out of place in a group. Curious about the laws? The short version is: You’re a vehicle, so you obey (with very little exception) all the same laws a car does: stop at stop signs, signal turns and no getting on the sidewalks ... for adults in the Central Business District, anyway. Many would-be bike riders are de-terred by the thought of mixing in with traffic, or even riding in a bike lane, with cars zipping by. Thus the next step in the city’s bike program is to accommodate these folks by introducing bike paths with medians separating car traffic from bikes. But in the meantime, consider taking a traffic skills 101 class. ACA now offers the written portion online for free on its website, and the in-person part of the

course is only $30. But hey, your parents taught you how to ride a bike as a kid; you don’t need no stinkin’ class, right? Stanton tells a story about a friend of his, Preston, who kept pushing him to take the class years ago. He kept politely putting him off, until finally the perceived insult got to him. “Preston, I’ve been racing for 25 years, commuting in every city I’ve lived in in that time, done riding of every kind — what could they possibly teach me that I don’t know? Preston’s response? ‘If you take the class and feel like you didn’t learn any-thing, I’ll reimburse you the cost of the

course.’” Stanton came back from the week-end and Preston asked, “So, do I owe you any money?” Stanton’s response: “Absolutely not. Where do I become certified to teach it?” The course, he says, changed how he viewed himself on the road, even

One of the many ACA cycling meetupsafter all those years. Joining the ACA also helps further cycling in Austin; the ACA is a non-profit with one part-time employee. The more members, the more employees they can afford, the less volunteers they burn out, the more projects they can take on, the more advocacy they can

do. More benefits are on the horizon for fall, where membership perks at the majority of the almost 100 bike shops in town are on the agenda. But why bike? What’s so great about cycling? Stanton pauses for a second to reflect. “Part of it is the thrill of moving yourself at a brisk pace by your own power; part of it is the wind in your face; part of it is conquering the hill and enjoying the blast of the down-hill on the other side; part of it is the exhilaration of carving a turn just right; part of it is just the pleasure of dodging a pothole when you can see it and you can make the bike dance around it; part of it is feeling good about not burning gasoline; part of it is knowing that what you’re enjoying is good for you. “My wife and I have lived in three or four places long enough to put down roots.... And every place we’ve lived, our best friends have come from the cycling community. “It’s just a blast.” For more information, see austincyclingassociation.org

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Fall Creek Vineyards

By David Furer A stalwart in the local winery scene is Fall Creek Vineyards. Founded in 1975 by Ed & Susan Auler, its first commercial vintage of 250 cases was in 1979. Serving as chief winemaker until 1992, though he still had his pet projects, Ed handed the reins to A&M grad Tom Barkley. Still a family opera-tion with anticipated growth to expand the production and the winemaking facility from their current 50,000 case production, the Aulers currently sell to six other states. “When we helped get this industry started, it was primarily us with Llano

Estacado and La Buena Vida.” But why did the inveterate traveler decide upon his home of Texas? “One side of my family was doctors and farmers, the other west Texas cattle ranchers. Though I studied law I was also close to the land, albeit more with cattle than crops, but when the cattle market bot-tomed out I thought we had to get into planting pecans or fruit. Round about that time Susan wanted to travel to Europe. I gave thought of going over to look at French cattle while she looked at vines and wines. Three weeks each spent at chateaux and ranches led to my acceptance of wine over beef.” A friend of theirs (who knew

California winemaking legend Andre Tschelitcheff) encouraged them to grow Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot, later growing Pecos County-sourced Sauvignon Blanc, which earned them the only Texas wine at the time to get a ‘Best Buy’ accolade by Wine Specta-tor magazine. “We later realized that two varieties best suited to Texas were Viognier and Tempranillo, which we planted in 1988 with everything except our Chenin Blanc getting frozen during the freeze of 1990. Today Fall Creek’s Tempranillo hails from the Hill Coun-try’s Salt Lick Vineyards. “We have some perspective now we didn’t have 30 years ago,” says Su-san. Some of that perspective allowed Ed’s legal background to help write the laws which now guide the produc-tion of Texas wines. An extension of their activities includes having been instrumental in 1986 in the founding and development of the nonprofit Texas Wine & Food Foundation. Fall Creek recently celebrated the 30th anniversary of its estate winery by offering its guests a first-time tour of the 100ft. Fall Creek Falls — a natural wonder which dumps chilly distilled-quality water upon tough Ellenbo-gen limestone on the shores of Lake Buchanan, a few miles away from the Aulers’ private ranch. Ed, an expert on the district and Texas history in gen-

eral, illuminated the history dating to prehistoric times and expounded upon Lake Buchanan’s creeping onto his current vineyard property as recently as five years ago, before the current drought took hold. In 1935 the Uni-versity of Texas received permission to come and research digging out 35k artifacts which were here since the Fol-som era. It had been the most southern and western aspect of crossroads for Apaches and Comanche, and showed pictographs in the caves along with mummified Indians. The Central Rock was a major religious site for the Indi-ans, based upon the rare artifacts found here from the 12,000 ancient Indian civilizations. They ate buffalo, fish and deer, along with the more important mussels (cooked with shells left be-hind) and wild grapes. Susan explained that another 35 adjacent lots make up a non-incorporated village hosting about 150 (mostly) retired people on the inex-pensive lakefront fishing sites. FCV’s lightly oaked 2011 Chardon-nay has a fleshy, fine pear-apple char-acter which serves as a fine starter, with its 2010 Tempranillo grown at Salt Lick Vineyard well-suited to the spicy boiled shrimp cooked by Quality Seafood, which we enjoyed for lunch. Fall Creek Vineyards | 1820 County Road 222 | Tow, TX 78672 | (325) 379-5361| fcv.com | [email protected]

Ed & Susan Auler, photo by Marty Gast

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What if Glinda Had a Vocal Coach?By Kathryn Christie, Publisher One of the pleasures of publishing this paper is that not only do we feature stories about interesting local people and businesses, but quite often we become friends with the people we write about. Such was the case for me recently after taking music lessons at the Orpheus Music Academy. I became acquainted with the school directors, Klondike Steadman, and his wife, Wendy Kuo, from attending church together. Klondike has a doctorate in musical arts and guitar performance and Wendy has a masters in music, piano performance and pedagogy. They both teach at the academy, along with a staff of very experienced and gifted instructors. (If you’ve read our last two issues, you probably saw ads promoting Orpheus’s popular summer music camps.) I knew Klondike and Wendy were good, having seen them perform many times. We’d say hello or chat occasionally, but I wasn’t that familiar

with their school, at least, until a recent opportunity changed that. I’m a music lover, myself, and sing in the church choir. A few months ago, the choir was busy organizing a benefit variety show to take place in May. I naturally asked Klondike and Wendy if they’d like to participate and they agreed. We had some great acts lined up, with variety being key. (Belly dancing? Why, of course!) I was working on my own act, which involved doing a voice impression that my niece begs me to do every time she sees me — that of Glinda the Good Witch from The Wizard of Oz. Now, before you think How could you put a rinky-dink voice impression on the same bill as a classical guitar performance?, please know that this Glinda was planning to go the full nine yards (which was the amount of material needed for her costume, but back to the vocal part). She was also planning to sing, and not just in her iconic high lilt, but with a belting mezzo-rocker voice to the Talking Heads’ “Burning Down the House.”

Don’t ask where this oddball idea came from. Just follow along. As I began planning, a sudden — brilliant, if you will — thought occurred to me. What if Glinda had a vocal coach, and what if, in lieu of payment for ads in The Regular Joe, the Orpheus Academy would provide

voice lessons leading up to the performance? The timing was perfect, as was the answer from Orpheus: Yes, they would! I arrived for my first lesson in early March. The school is somewhat tucked away behind a strip mall on Far West Blvd.; but make no mistake, this is a spacious, well-equipped facility with plenty of teaching and rehearsal space. There’s a welcoming greeting from everyone as you walk in. I was to work with voice teacher Elise Leung, whom I liked from our first meeting. I’ve realized that’s one of the hallmarks of instructors at Orpheus — they not only know their stuff (Elise has a master’s in vocal performance), but

they’re exceptionally good at relaying knowledge to students, while their friendliness keeps things fun and relaxed. They also know how to key in to each student’s personality and describe things in a way that makes sense. I had some lightbulb moments with Elise. Oh, so that’s how it’s done! Elise knew I had a unique situation and would be with her for a short time, but I learned so much in that time. We worked on voice training, but also stage presence and delivery. I left each week with exercises to practice at home, and all the while, I sensed that she truly enjoyed helping me achieve my goals. The talent show was May 9th, and according to both participants and attendees, it was a blast! We had a night of fun, entertainment and fundraising. And Glinda? Well, I’ll let my friend Joe tell you how she did: “You were magical as the Good Witch. It was very much a night to remember!” Thank you, Klondike Steadman, Wendy Kuo, Elise Leung and the staff of Orpheus Music Academy. You added to that magic. And for those of you looking for a music school for your child or yourself, take a look at the Orpheus website to see if their program is right for you. I guarantee, they offer the highest caliber instructors in Austin. Read more at orpheusacademy.com.

12 THE REGULAR JOE

Training for the 5/10K, Week FiveWeird!By Paul Carrozza, Owner of Runtex Variety is the spice of life and the key to running success. Too many people run three miles three times a week. If this describes your running program, you are missing out on the finer points of running. Adding different types of running workouts to your schedule will keep your running interesting and fun. If you run at different paces, distances and elevations, you will use your muscles in different ways. Every-one talks about cross-training — this is what you’ll be doing if you vary your running workouts. When you begin these new workouts you will feel like a new runner. There are many types of workouts but the main ones are hill repeats, over distance, intervals (date pace and goal pace), steady state, technique and form drills. Each of these helps you become a better runner. While many runners are only concerned with their mileage, adding quality and maintenance work-outs to your schedule will give you the balance you need to keep progressing and reduce your chance of injury and burnout. Hills are often avoided. I say charge them. Find your most feared hill and run up it 3-5 times. Running up hills places you on your forefoot, works your hamstrings, butt and calves, and increases your vertical lift, which lengthens your stride. Be sure to listen to your lungs to avoid hurting your legs. The dangerous part of running hills is the stress on the back of the heel

and lower legs. Hill repeats are consid-ered resistance training. When you start hills, only do a few and do them slow. A proper hill workout consists of an easy warm-up and light stretching; then run up the hill and jog or walk down. You should do two hill workouts a month, and one should be long gradual hills and the other short steep hills. Over distance builds endurance. In

this program, over distance will be 8-10 miles. By running farther than your race distance, you will have a mental and physical edge. Over distance runs shouldn’t be fast, they should be easy and relaxed. We will gradually increase your long run, so don’t worry. It may seem overwhelming now, but will be easily done in 4-6 weeks. When getting ready for an over distance run, you will need to rest an extra couple of days

before and after the run. By doing this, you will be strong when you start and will take the time to recover after. This keeps you from increasing your overall mileage too much. Intervals are necessary to introduce faster pace training into your program. You need to “push the pace” to help you learn to relax at your date pace. Steady state runs are simply 2-3 miles at your best effort (date pace). This prepares you for the reality of race day, and gives you a good idea of what pace is realistic for the goal event. Your steady state runs will become more fre-quent and faster as the race approaches. This run isn’t long, but it will feel long. This is the run where you do everything wrong. You go out too fast, feel uncom-fortable and try to sustain it. You will be very happy to finish and very proud of yourself for enduring. Technique and form drills are your preventative medicine. Like any sport, there is technique involved, and drills will get you on your toes and strength-en your lower legs and feet. You need to practice your technique and form to improve it. Strides are running the length of a football field 4-6 times at a quality pace (not a sprint). Strides help your muscles and joints become able to handle a faster pace. Drills consist of lateral slides, over-and-unders, butt kicks, skips, quick feet and running backwards. These are hard to get unless you are coached through them. Your running schedule should have a good balance of the above runs as well as nice relaxing recovery runs. Ad-vance runners will be able to do these

types of workouts in a one week rota-tion, while others will do them on a monthly cycle, depending on your fitness, history and goals. Since these types of workouts are new to most runners, it is very important to under-stand them before you start them.

Runtex shoes worn by President Bush

By Sally Hanan The Saintly Wife “You’re weird,” she said, as she swung her silky long hair out of the classroom and back to her friends. I sat at my desk, staring at the vacant space she’d left behind. It rippled echoes back to my ears: “You’re weird, weird, weird, weird, weird…. I placed my head back down on the wooden graffiti and closed my eyes, not realizing how those words would haunt me for many years. That was my life — seventeen, alone even in a horde of humanity and empty. I was some eccentric anagram, and I was supposed to figure who, or what, I was supposed to be. The next few years were filled with my fingernails clawing my way to ac-ceptance. Every time a hint of it came my way I would dig in and hold on. Invariably, those marked people fled as soon as they could pry their skin free! I wanted to matter. I wanted my life to count for something. I wanted them to see it, even if I could not…. *** It’s been 28 years since I was that unfulfilled, attention-starved teen-ager. Many times I have done things to create an aura of purpose about my life, but they have been badly scripted monologues on an empty stage. Some-how screaming, “I AM special, I DO matter!” makes heads turn away. Go figure!! The moment I chose to trust my Creator was when I began to see my true substance. Being purposeful is not about run-ning like a crazy woman first in line at a sale, with my tongue hanging out and my hands waving vigorously in the air, striving toward what I think I need. It is not about wanting my life to appear fulfilling to those around me. It’s about coming back to my true center and reveling in my personal, unique design — a beautiful, decisive place to be. Those words that were branded into my head back then? I know the truth now: I’m not weird; I’m just wired … According to design.

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The Mini-Marketers Are Coming for You!By Jay Kerner, Regular Joe Founder

When I was a kid I had a paper route for several months. It sucked. Back then the paper had a morning and evening edition Monday-Friday, plus Saturday and a huge Sunday paper. 365. No holidays. In addition to sling-ing the thing in every kind of weather, both before and after school, we also had to collect. That might have sucked the worst. You knock on the door, hear the TV go off … but nobody answers. They’re ducking me. I’ll just wait. Make them completely lose the plot on “Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C.” I got charged for the papers either way, so more often than I like to admit, I was forced to stalk my delinquent accounts. I’d hide in the bushes and pounce when they came home from work. The juvenile bill collector was always the last one to get paid, and you had to fight to get yours. I started out enthusiastic, but the whole thing proved way beyond my endurance when the bad weather came. I was making my little brother help against his will. We came in frostbit-ten and shivering one Sunday when the

snow was waist deep and each bundle weighed more than my brother. My mom finally called the dispatcher and told him we were done. I also did a little door-to-door action for school once in a while. If anything got sold, I did it. My divorced single mom was barely holding it/us all together. By unspoken agreement she didn’t sell our stuff at work and her coworkers didn’t hit on her with theirs. It was like a code. By the time our own kids came along, the fundraising had grown into a massive industry. And where it used to just be the schools, now it’s also every other group or activity in their busy lives. Raffle tickets for the booster club, discount food cards for basketball, pop-corn for Sunday school. Collectively, they’re the same as giving your kid a part-time job but with no pay. Although in fairness, there are often nice prizes awarded to the children with the par-ents who really, really need their kids to win. (You know who they are.) They show up at work and ignore the code. Big smile, “Would you like to support Eastside Sluggerz T-ball?” They stand there with that expectant puppy look ‘til only the hardest of hearts can resist.

Next thing you know, you’ve paid $16 for a dollar bag of sunflower seeds. The T-ballers made 75 cents and the CEO of Super Duper Fundraisers, Inc. of somewhere or another is thinking of trading up yachts. AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE COOKIES! (You know the ones I mean.) I have to be careful here. I have vi-sions of tiny, green clad ninjas circling my perimeter. But sorry! Gotta say it. The cookies just ain’t cuttin’ it any-more! The price goes up, the size goes down and the quality hasn’t been the same for years. But all that aside, the real crime is the pittance the local troop sees from their efforts. All while “Big Cookie” rakes in the chips. I say let the corporate cookie crumble and teach kids to bake some cookies. Have a bake sale and keep all the money. I, myself, finally got tired of all the groups trying to use my kids for commerce, so I printed up a little form, which worked pretty well. They still sold the stuff they really cared about, but most organizations got the follow-ing: Dear _____________, Thank you for the wonderful opportu-nity you are giving my child to market your ____________. But much as we support your fine organization, we have

a personal policy of not letting our children pimp overpriced crap to our family and friends. Please accept our donation of $______ and, no offense, but you can kindly keep the crap. Maybe it seems harsh, but I don’t remember any of those checks going un-cashed. Feel free to use it. It won’t make you the most popular parents at the PTA, but you can still support your kids’ stuff without supporting every bit of the bs that tries to come with it.

Jay Kerner

14 THE REGULAR JOE

Happily Ever After A seaman meets a pirate in a bar and they take turns to tell of their adven-tures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook and an eye patch. Curious, the seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg leg?” The pirate replies “I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.” “Wow!” said the seaman. “What about the hook?” “Well ...,” replied the pirate, “we were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand clean off.” “Incredible!” remarked the seaman. “How did you get the eye patch?” “A seagull dropping fell into my eye,” replied the pirate. “You lost your eye to a seagull drop-

ping?” the sailor asked. “Well ...,” said the pirate, “that was my first day with the hook.”

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15THE REGULAR JOE

Joe’s Mug Shots Tell all your friends you saw them in the Joe!