The Regular Joe, Austin, August 2012

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We once again sent all the appli-cants to our website and chased away the majority with a closer look at what we do; but once again, we still had some great candidates to meet. We came down during SXSW (when else?), and just when I was narrowing my selections, my sister asked how she could be involved. I was totally jacked! ______________________________ We like to say we’re for stuff instead of against stuff. ___________________________

We hashed it all out between a St. Paddy’s day dinner at Guero’s Taco Bar and lunch the next day at the Hula Hut. We ended up putting a team in place with my sis, Kit, matching her eclectic coolness with the writing, photography and design expertise of a couple of longtime Irish imports. I handed over the reins and got the heck out of the way. The issue in your hands is my goofy plan, executed by local Austin folks. We hope you like the attitude. Austin readers will discover some fresh local voices. Lo-cally owned businesses will find a new advertising outlet with a youthful ap-proach. But sorry, no corporate joints in this rag! We say Olive Garden is not your family and Applebee’s is not your neighbor! As a rule of thumb, if your company advertises on the Super Bowl, we figure you probably don’t need any love from us. Well, thanks for picking it up. You’ll find me on a back page in fu-ture issues as the locals run the show. I’ll be glad to chip in a little of my weirdness with people who know it when they see it. Enjoy!

Good questions? To borrow from the Stones, “Please allow me to intro-duce myself; I’m a man of wealth and taste.” Well, okay, except for the wealth ... and fine, the taste is kind of hit and miss too. For the last five years, I’ve been the publisher of a small community paper in St. Joseph, Missouri, called The Regular Joe. It looks more or less like the issue in your hands. We decided there was room in our market there for a pa-per that celebrates the coolest local stuff. We like to say we’re for stuff instead of against stuff. (We’re actu-ally against all kinds of stuff, but you won’t read about it here.) Our community took to the con-cept in spite of our entry-level writing and layout skills, not to mention our questionable sense of humor. While slicker, better-funded publications were folding left and right, we’ve gradually carved out a little place for ourselves in our hometown. Our dog and pony show has been fortunate to develop partnerships with a number of our local business leaders, and their support has helped us keep the bills paid for well over a hundred issues now. A little over a year ago, we de-cided to see if our mini mom-and-pop formula would work somewhere else.

Was our modest success here a happy coincidence of time and place, or just a product of my own ridiculous per-sonality? We decided to find out. We chose Missoula, Montana, for a number of reasons. First, we had good friends there we wanted to go see (while also writing off the travel). Second, we knew it to be a city with a strong commitment to buying local. But we knew better than to come in as an outsider and try to pimp local to lo-cals, so we advertised on Craigslist up there for writers and graphic design-ers. We got swamped with applicants. It seemed like every waitress in town had an English degree and a blog. Every bartender had a screen-play in a desk drawer and a novel in progress. I heard from all the regional casualties of the death-spiraling news-paper industry — people with big-time skills and experience. I gave over 200 of them a peek at what we were actually doing, and scared off like 95 percent. I inter

viewed the handful that was left and picked the best of the lot as the Mis-soula publisher. Then I made a deal with the local daily to print it, and landed enough key advertisers ‘til we were in the black for the first issue. Then I gave it away to the local guy I found. Really. Well, I did save one page for myself. My column runs there, and I get the revenue from any ads on it. The rest is his. And he’s kicking serious media butt up there. Our hyper-local focus was preach-ing to the choir. Once the first issue hit the streets, his phone and email went crazy. A year later he’s achieved a similar place in his community as it took me 3 or 4 years to hit in my own. With Missoula doing so well with-out me, I started looking around for our next spot to land. I’ve got a sister in Austin I like to visit and it’s one of our favorite places, so we repeated the Craigslist move and ... holy crap! Where did all you smart, crazy, tal-ented, freaky folks come from?

Why Austin? Why Now?By Jay Kerner Founder

About the cover: This photo of Lake Austin was taken from the top of Mount Bonnell by Gerry Hanan of www.hananexposures.com. The artwork was done by the talented Larry Bechtold. See if you can find the hidden mug.

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Play the Air Conditioned Scavenger Hunt and Win Prizes! Stay cool. Hunt for clues. Win prizes!

This summer we are celebrating a “Summer of Independents,” dedicated to supporting local, independent busi-nesses here in Austin. As the weather heats up, we know that we all want to hide in the cool air conditioning. Wehave created the Air Conditioned Scav-enger Hunt so that you too can cel-ebrate these independent businesses while keeping cool.

Great Prizes from these AIBA members! Toy Joy, Precision Camera, Discount Business Brokers, Wheatsville Food Co-op, Austin Overtures Sightseeing, Revolutions Bookkeepers, Great OutDogs, Groovy Automotive, Birds Barbershop, Austin Conveyance, Sauced, FirePit Ceramics, Dollar Signs, Things Celtic, Convenience Office Supply & Interiors, Upper Crust Bakery, Tom’s Tabooley, Exabar Telecom, DogBoy’s Dog Ranch, Mama Fu’s, Whole Earth Provision Co., Britton & Britton Insurance, Sue Patrick, Venus Envy Con-signments, Strait Music Co., The Sleep Center of Austin, RK Audiology, Froyoyo Frozen Yogurt, Chez Zee, Café Malta, Weird Coupons, Mindful Body Center, Brite Ideas, Forbidden Fruit, Bicycle Sport Shop, Localize Austin, Gravity Systems, The Fabricker, Austin Visitors Center, Totally Cool Air Conditioning, Conans Pizza, SpinZone Laundry.

IBuyAustin.com/scavengerhunt

Go to www.IBuyAustin.com/scavengerhunt to begin playing.

That’s right, you can play online at your favorite coffee house, at your office or in the privacy of your own home at 2am on those sleepless nights.

AIBA Congratulates The Regular Joe on their first issue!

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Dear Readers, Welcome to our very first edition of Austin’s Regular Joe. We’re excited about the way this paper will help the community, and we look forward to getting to know you — our readers — over the next few years. So what do you say in a first letter to readers? Hi? Glad you’ve read this far? I hope that coffee is going cold beside you because the words on these pages are so riveting? Probably not. Seriously, I’m glad you’ve picked up this paper, and I’m happy you’re reading pages full of Austin’s wit and wisdom. The paper is designed to fill your day with a few laughs and smiles and deposit a little more warmth in your heart. We also want to help you get to know those in your local com-munity a bit better. This first issue will include an interview with a new start-up, the delights (or not) of juicing, a review

of two zumba classes, some low-cost summer activites, talk of Austin’s music scene and reflections on a more unique way of supported living. But first, a little intro into how we got here. I met Jay via a Craigslist ad asking for writers interested in start-ing a free newspaper in Austin. Jay is the original quirky, real and passionate founder of the very first Regular Joe in St. Joseph, MO, and he wanted to replicate his successful model in a city he loves to visit. His approach to the newspaper industry is refreshing and unique, and I’m delighted he chose me to help launch his vision for The Regular Joe, Austin. Kit (Jay’s sister) and I are the own-ers of Austin’s Regular Joe. We’ll both be regular contributors and share the hard work involved in making this a success. We’re also delighted to have Gerry, our in-house photographer and designer, and Zack Hanan, our layout expert, on board. We like to refer to this as the happy paper because in our coverage of real-life stories in this amazing city of Austin, we’d like to make your lives a little brighter and cause you to think more about the things we discuss. Send your questions, your ads and your writing queries. We can’t wait to hear from you. Cheers! Sally, Editor in Chief

Letter from the Editor

Inside the Joe ... 2. Why Austin? Why Now? 4. Letter from the Editor 4. Joe’s Mailbox 5. Vintage Heart Coffee 6. Mount Bonnell — Just Breathe 7. Still Family 7. Ode to “Beautiful Girls” 8/9. Low-Cost Summer Activites 10. Juicing and Brainwashing — They Go Together 11. Music? We’ve Gotcha Cov-ered!

12. Let the Zumba Party Begin!

13. Life on the Liberal Arts Trail 14. Joe’s Mug Shots 15. Classifieds 15. Jokes and Wordsearch

Joe’s Mailbox

Send us your comments and let us know of future events you’d like read-ers to know about. If you’d like to write for us, please email us your idea/query before you write the article. If you are interested in advertising with us, we’ll be happy to answer any questions you may have. THE REGULAR JOE www.regularjoeaustin.com [email protected]|554-9905 12407 N. Mopac Expy., Ste. 250-388, Austin, TX 78758

Owners of The Regular Joe Austin, LLC Kit Christie Sally Hanan Editor in Chief Sally Hanan

Photography, Design & Layout Gerry Hanan Zack Hanan Contributors Jay Kerner Cindy Arundel Erin Young Bob Shultz Stephanie De Luna Sally Hanan Joanna Sandford Kit Christie

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Vintage Heart Coffee

I still remember my first taste of cof-fee. I was about 7 when my mom gave me some to try and I spat it out, prob-ably because it was Folgers or some-thing. I got to appreciate the real thing in college — all my peers were sitting around drinking it, so of course I had to drink it too. I doctored it up a lot in the beginning with a lot of sugar, but after a while I really liked my coffee! I first had my crazy idea of start-ing a coffee shop when I was 19, but I didn’t run with it until I was 24. I got my degree in communications and philosophy. (I call it my cof-fee lady degree because it gave me a lot of knowledge on community and good chats.) I then worked in the music industry managing artists, and I worked in the food retail industry on the weekends just to keep up with the interaction I thrived on. All that time I kept filling binders with more ideas for my coffee shop – swatches, de-tails, coffee machines, etc. I’d go visit all my local coffee shops to see what I

liked or would change about their set-ups. My mind was always planning. I finally quit the music industry and worked for a year at a cupcake store in Los Angeles, quickly work-ing my way up to management level, and after a year of that I was ready to execute my dreams. I moved to Austin, which I had al-ready figured would be a great city to open shop in. The SBDC (Small Busi-ness Development Corporation) staff got to know me very well, and they were a huge help. I think in the end I over planned more than anything. I made many lists of menus, roasting companies, suppliers, staff I’d need, financial plans, city permits, etc. I really liked the east side of down-town because it was primed for new growth and new relationships, and I wanted to be a part of that. On my second day here I was on East 7th and saw a property I liked, but the owners weren’t interested in leasing at that time, so over the next few months I kept looking. I wanted a building that would not only be commercially vi-able; I wanted a place that could cre-ate a presence in the local community, and that was hard to find. I finally found a property in the north central part of Austin that I was ready to sign a lease on. Everything lined up nicely until 2 days before the signing date, when the owners backed out. Not one to be depressed for long, I drove around the downtown area for a while that same day to scout out

new locations, when I passed by the original building I’d wanted and I saw a For Lease sign on the curb! Within 3 weeks I had the keys, and after a big remodel and staying up all night the night before to put tables together and do some last-minute painting, we opened our doors on May 25th. Since then I’ve been blown away by the support from the community around us. Looking back, my advice to bud-ding entrepreneurs is: Clearly define what you want; know what’s worth compromising on; and if it’s worth it, do it! Some of the things that were very important to me were keeping waste down by using cloth napkins and cleaning rags instead of paper, having no preservatives in the food, having natural sweeteners like Stevia available, and making my own syrups. I had a lot of naysayers, but I knew what I wanted and I wasn’t going to let negativity deter me.

Looking ahead, a day off would be nice…. We’re already outgrowing our space. I’ve been talking to the adja-cent business about building a patio and having a sustainable garden plot anyone can help upkeep and benefit from. I’d love some live music in the evenings. But my heart for all of this, my main desire, is to have a place where people can come to talk and re-lax. I might even spread my wings and open more coffee shops in other areas. So many places could use a home.

You can find Vintage Heart Coffee on 1405 East 7th Street, TX 78702 www.vintageheartcoffee.com

Interview with Mallory Hamling Owner

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By Cindy Arundel

Mount Bonnell is a hill that overlooks downtown Austin to the southeast and Lake Austin to the west. 775 feet above sea level and flanked by a large number of steps only the fit can climb without wheezing by the time they get to the top, the hill is one of the places to bring the visiting relatives for a spectacular view of the sunset and how rich people live (and the water treatment plant — not so spectacular). The reason behind the naming of the hill is still being argued over. Some say it was named after George W. Bonnell, a newspaper publisher and former Texas revolutionary, while others say it was named after Capt. Jo-seph Bonnell, a member of the Texas and US armies who served under Sam Houston; not something Austinites really need to worry about, because we’ll always call it Mount Bonnell. A certain plaque at the base of the hill reads: “Negotiations to give the sum-mit of Mount Bonnell, to be known as Covert Park … were concluded by the … Covert family in honor of their father on June 2, 1939,” which means that we should all really be calling it Covert Park. Nevertheless.... The hill became a Recorded Texas Historic Landmark in 1969, and has its own little collection of historical

facts. According to the marker, “Fron-tiersman W.A.A. ‘Bigfoot’ Wallace killed an Indian he met face-to-face while crossing a narrow ledge 50 feet above river in 1839. He also took refuge in a Mount Bonnell cave to

recover from ‘flux,’ but was missing so long his sweetheart eloped.” [Look up flux — fascinating to visualize his survival for that amount of time, not to mention the smell in the cave….] Also on the marker: “In the mid-1800s Mormons built a mill on the Colorado River at the foot of Mount Bonnell. The mill was destroyed by a flood and the Mormons moved on west.” I’m sure the Mormons look back now and laugh at our little hill compared to the mountains of Utah…. You can get to Mount Bonnell by driving down the back of Camp Mabry on W. 35th St. toward Mayfield Park and the Laguna Gloria Art Mu-seum. Turn right onto Mount Bonnell Road and drive up the hill past some architecturally beautiful homes until you park at the entrance. Take your valuables with you — some industri-ous thieves have been helping them-selves to the contents of cars parked at the base of the torturous (to flabby legs) climb. The best time to go is at sunset. No trip is complete without fol-lowing it with food and drink. Take a few right turns down the hill until you get to Lake Austin Boulevard, where you can watch the turtles and people showing off on jet skis. The Hula Hut [hulahut.com] offers margaritas and what it calls Tiki-Mex cuisine, while

Mozart’s [mozartscoffee.com] offers all kinds of coffee drinks and a de-lectable selection of bajillion-calorie pastries and cakes. Either before or af-ter that, go hang out with the peacocks at Mayfield Park (free) and view the art at the Laguna Gloria Art Museum [Small fee; amoa.org]. The Laguna Gloria is also available for weddings and parties, so scout it out if you’ve been looking for a beautiful venue.

Mount Bonnell — Just Breathe

I can’t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. — Woody Allen

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By Bob Shultz Broadcast Film Critics’ Association

Men are morons. I think even the most stubborn of us will resign to this no-tion at some point in our lives. It’s a cardinal truth, and one that lies in the heart of one of the most overlooked cinematic gems of the last twenty years. Director Ted Demme heads the helm on 1996’s “Beautiful Girls,” a brilliantly simplistic and delicately complicated slice of life placed in the mythical town of Knight’s Ridge, Massachusetts — a place that appears cold and unforgiving on the surface, but that displays its true warmth in the lives of its people. Screenwriter Scott Rosenburg weaves a brilliant tapestry of plot points in a film that is so much more than angst-ridden, manly cries from the bowels of arrested development. The title is, in itself, a loving tribute to a gender that certainly has a clearer perspective on the nature of relation-ships than we here on the y end of the chromosome spectrum. “Beautiful Girls” does something remarkable for an ensemble piece. In its limited time frame, characters are fully developed and wholly interactive without the need for pretentious, self-absorbed dialogue. Genuine relation-ships and challenging trials are formed through the brilliance of the actors and the subtlety of the spoken word. None of this is more evident than in one of

the most poignant and cleverly con-ceived sub-plots of recent memory. The film didn’t do well. It was released in the cinema “dead zone” of February, 1996, and quickly disap-peared. The post-grunge, Generation X window of coming-to-age movies had already seen its high point, and this little treasure found itself lumped onto video shelves by Labor Day with mediocre titles with similar ideas, such as “The Pallbearer,” and anything by director Ed Burns. “Beautiful Girls” is something special. A sincere, open, funny and timeless address of the frustrating and ultimately satisfying battle of the sexes, with guys acknowledging their own faults and women showing us that the pedestal we put them on isn’t necessarily made of gold. Thankfully, thanks to net stream-ing, you too have a chance to visit the ingenious picture at your own leisure, unless … of course … you are a com-plete moron.

Ode to “Beautiful Girls”By Erin Young Not long ago, I was the traditional housewife. With a house, husband, two dogs, a cat and three kids, all I lacked was a white picket fence. Now, I’m a single mother of three, downsiz-ing my home, upsizing my career and, possibly, losing my mind. In this wonderfully eclectic nook of Texas, where we avow to “keep it weird,” it is easy to look around and see the uncommon is common; how-ever, while striving to embrace our own individuality, we mustn’t ignore that we are not immune to the very hu-man need for support. As Austinites, we accept the dif-ferent, the exception to the rule. And with tradition growing to encompass a more diverse demography, there is se-curity in seeing the multitude of ways some establish that foundation of sup-port. With no limit to the amount of love that can be found in a home, even the definition of “parent” has grown to include more than just our genes. Now add the infinite variables of the human race and you’ve got a plethora of fam-ily types distinctly different from one house to the next. A modern family can be a confusing spider web, but like any good web weaved, it can still act as a solid support system. I, for instance, live with my best friend — just two twenty-something, single mother divorcees, striving for better over bitter. It may not be traditional, or what I expected my life to resemble at this age. And with a combined four kids under 6, we may get that curious look on occasion that wonders if we are lesbian mothers, though we are not. We are more than just roommates. We share the housework, our vehicle, clothes, a bedroom and — most importantly — our parental respon-sibilities. We also talk and fight like sisters. The dynamic is different but honestly can be much like a marriage. “Where’s the remote?” becomes a le-gitimate argument. We find ourselves

disputing finances, nights out, chores, personality and parenting differences. Words fly that make one laugh and wonder, Was there a ceremony that I don’t remember? Co-parenting becomes natural as we simultaneously reprimand the children with “no hitting” commandments and “do you want a time-out?” threats. There’s never a shortage of comic relief in the irony of the disagreements to be had. “Why you didn’t say anything to me this morning?” “You slept on the couch.” “Well you snapped at me last night!” “I did not!” “You did too.” “Well … we never lock the car!” But like any family, we talk things out. We laugh. We work through the chaos and find function in the dys-function. It may not be “normal,” but to support and prioritize is what any good relationship does, be it with a spouse or friend. My son asked once, “Mom, Minnie doesn’t have the same last name as us, but she’s still our family, right?” The “modern family” happens and can work. People pull together to ensure our loved ones are provided for. Sometimes it really does take a village. Be weird, be different, be a misfit or Miss popular — it truly takes all kinds. There is no better place to find this haven of acceptance than Austin. We’re an uncommon bunch in such an uncommon city that we’re downright common. And I love it.

Ode to “Beautiful Girls”Ode to “Beautiful Girls”Still Family

8 THE REGULAR JOE

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Free or Low-Cost By Stephanie De Luna

The scorching heat has made its way back to Central Texas, and your first instinct may be to hide inside your nicely cooled home, but don’t let the weather hold you back from enjoying the city this summer. There are many interactive activities around Austin that can make the next couple of months unforgettable. The best thing about these activities is that they are affordable, and some are free! Check them out. Turkey Creek at Emma Long Located at 1600 City Park Rd., next to Lake Austin, Turkey Creek is a scenic trail which winds along the creek. About 2.5 miles long, the Turkey Creek trail is a great getaway not too far from the city. The trail is an off-leash area, so your furry friends will love exploring the scenery, and they will definitely take a dip in the cool creek (and you may want to wet your feet too)! There is a free parking lot at the entrance of Turkey Creek, making the trail easily accessible. For $8 per carload, you can go down the road to Emma Long Metropolitan Park, which

Some other options we (at the Joe ) recommend are: Austin Barn Dancers Time: Wednesdays, 7:30-9:45 p.m. | Tickets: $2.00 donation | Contra/squares/circles to live music. Community dance, all ages/levels. Average of 40-60 dancers. Traditional musicians welcome. Hancock Recreation Center, 811 E 41st (corner of Red River), Austin | Info: (512) 453-4225

Deep Eddy Pool Splash Nights Saturdays at dusk | Tickets: Children 1-11 and seniors 62+, $1; juniors 12-17, $2; adults, $3 | Enjoy a family movie under the stars while you refresh in the cool wa-ters of Deep Eddy Pool. | 401 Deep Eddy Avenue, Austin 78703 | www.deepeddy.org Austin Swing Syndicate Time: Thursdays, 8:00 p.m.-midnight | Tickets: $2.00/members, $5.00We offer a FREE class designed to get you out onto the floor and swinging. Blues, balboa, swing, collegiate shag. | Texas Federation of Women’ s Clubs, 2312 San Gabriel, Austin | www.austinswingsyndicate.org

The Austin History Center Time: Mon., closed; Tues.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun., 12 noon-6 p.m. | 810 Guada-lupe, Austin 78768 | The center’s current exhibit “The First Picture Shows: Historic Austin Movie Houses” features the many film venues throughout Austin’s history, from the first film screening in 1896 to the rise of multiplexes. | www.austinlibrary.com/ahc

features BBQ areas near the water. “The wonderful thing about Emma Long Park is the rustic feel that it entails,” said Kim McKnight, Preservation Planner & Cultural Resource Specialist, Austin Parks and Recreation. “It gives you the feel of being at a state park.” Historic walking tours – The Texas State Capitol is the heart of Austin, and it also serves as the starting point of guided walking tours through downtown. The free walking tours cover ten blocks of Congress Avenue and nine blocks of Sixth Street. Brush up on your history knowl-edge with a visit to the Governor’s Man-sion, the Old Bakery, the Driskill Hotel and the Paramount Theater, just to name a few. Tours kick off at 9 a.m. Thursday-Saturday, and at 2 p.m. on Sundays. A res-ervation is required 48 hours in advance, and you can easily fill out a form online at www.austintexas.org. You will be sharing your newfound history facts with family, friends and coworkers every time you take a stroll through this history-rich city. 54th Annual Zilker Summer Musical There are very few things that are better than sitting under the warm Texas night sky, consumed by a classic musical that brings back childhood memories. Every

9THE REGULAR JOE

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Thursday-Sunday from July 6-August 11, Zilker Theater Productions presents “The Sound of Music.” This family favorite will begin at 8:30 p.m., just in time for the stars to come out. Sitting on the hill gives everyone the best view of the sing-ing and dancing onstage. Guests are en-couraged to bring a picnic and a blanket or lawn chairs. Blanton Museum of Art – This museum is a magnificent place to visit year-round, but Thursdays offer free admission to visitors during The Blanton’s operating hours of 10 a.m.-5 p.m. If you are work-ing late or prefer to go out once the sun is down, the museum is open until 9 p.m. on the third Thursday of every month! The Blanton exhibitions that run through August 12 include “The Human Touch: Selections from the RBC Wealth Manage-ment Art Collection” and “The Collecting Impulse: Fifty Works from Dorothy and Herbert Vogel.” The Blanton is located on the University of Texas campus, and parking is available at the university’s Brazos Garage. Parking is $3 when you validate your ticket inside the museum. Congress Avenue Bridge bats – Whether you live in Austin or you are in town for a quick summer visit, the Congress bats

Summer Activities

Austin Farmers’ Market, Wednesdays at The Triangle Time: March-September, 4:00-8:00.p.m. | Tickets: $ Free The Wednesday Austin Farmers’ Market (a project of the Sustainable Food Cen-ter). Visitors can enjoy the great variety of vegetables, fruits, herbs, cheeses, eggs, meats, breads, honey, flowers, prepared foods, drinks and artisan crafts. Free park-ing and free admission to the market. | The Triangle Park at The Triangle, 4600 Lamar (46th Street at Triangle Avenue, between Lamar and Guadalupe), Austin | www.sfcfarmersmarket.org First Thursday Times: 6:00-10:00 p.m.| Tickets: $ FREE | www.firstthursday.info | The first Thurs-day of each month, merchants of the historic, pedestrian-friendly South Congress Avenue keep their doors open until 10 p.m. (and later in some cases), playing host to an array of events and activities. South Congress between Barton Springs Rd. & Elizabeth St., Austin

Paramount Summer Film Series May 24-Sept.9 | www.austintheater.org/film | Tickets: Online - $8, Regular - $10, Film Fan - $6, Flix-Tix Booklet - $50 (10 admissions - good in any combination) - Buy Online | 713 Congress Avenue, Austin, TX 78701 | Celebrating a 37-year tradition! The summer’s best films at Austin’s only movie palace. More than 80 classic films as they were meant to be seen! Featuring many new prints, restored foreign classics, 70mm spectaculars and a slew of special events. | Info:(512) 441-7133

are a must-see attraction. Hundreds of spectators come out to the Congress Avenue Bridge before sundown to wit-ness 1.5 million Mexican free-tailed bats take flight. Crowds begin cheer-ing in unison as they eagerly wait for the bat “performance.” The view is spectacular; the flying creatures have the city and Lady Bird Lake as a backdrop. It doesn’t cost a fortune to go out into the city and have a blast. Put on your exploring boots (or sandals) and take advantage of these affordable Austin gems this summer!

Stephanie De Luna

10 THE REGULAR JOE

Juicing and Brainwashing — They Go Together

Hubby

By Sally Hanan The Saintly Wife I blame those awful documentaries one can watch until the bile starts to collect in the lower recesses of the stomach — you know — those stories about how fat collects in your arteries, how you shouldn’t eat anything you enjoy, how you can forget living and

throwing dinner parties and sucking on chocolate by the fire. So now we are the owners of a juicer, a behemoth of plastic and metal that takes up half my kitchen counter space and my second sink. I say my because, as we all know, the kitchen is a woman’s domain. So why do I put up with it? Let’s just say the brainwashing got to me.

“Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead”; “Forks over Knives”; “Food Inc.”; “Super Size Me” … It’s never-ending. Our ideals were to be commended. We were going to eat hardly any meat and we were going to juice at least once a day. Hubby was going to have two juices a day so he could look good for Fashion Week in the big city of New York, although he swears he only wanted to get thin for me. Day 1 The box arrives and we take out the parts, smiling with our know-ing smiles that this time, we’ll follow the plan. Day 2 Hubby has made himself two drinks. I have tasted one and sworn never to drink another. I prove my determination to stick to the plan, though, by steaming future meals while he drinks his watery blech. Day 7 Hubby is made of brass mon-keys and earning my respect. I am sneaking bowls of Honey Bunches and not envying hubby the arduous task of the 20-minute clean-up of the juicing equipment every time he wants a drink. Day 14 Hubby is definitely looking slimmer. Day 21 Hubby look like he exercises, even though he has only blasted around on the bike for two days in his last-ditch attempts to get thin. He falls in the door and has to lie down to get over the shock. Day 22 Hubby has lost about 15lb and goes off to Fashion Week to take fabulous shots of emaciated women

on the runways. If he shaves his legs, he might even be mistaken for one of them. Day 32 Hubby is back with the im-petus for juicing gone. He manages to juice up a few veg every few days, just to convince himself that he’s still working it, but I’m no fool. I just snicker to myself in the corner, happy that he has failed as I bite into my dark chocolate by the fire. These days, hubby’s weight has remained fairly steady because he doesn’t snack at night anymore, and his daily snacks and meals are more nutritious. My missing 4lbs have not returned. I think they’re at the Lost and Found. Don’t call me to pick them up.

If you like to buy organic food and stick to the basics rather than cook from boxes and packets, try a great food delivery service that doesn’t cost a monthly paycheck. It’s called Farmhouse Delivery, and it will deliver a weekly bushel of organic, in-season vegetables, along with anything you have ordered from the list of other items such as raw cheese, bread, meat, coffee, etc. Or-der by Thursday and your food will be delivered the following week. www.farmhousedelivery.com

11THE REGULAR JOE

Music? We’ve Gotcha Covered!The Austin music scene. What comes to mind? The clubs on Sixth Street? The annual convergence on Austin that is South by Southwest? Three days in the fall when our beloved Zilker Park gets its groove on with the Austin City Limits Music Festival? Fun Fun Fun Fest, when Auditorium Shores beckons indie aficionados? “The Live Music Capital of the World” earned its moniker not only thanks to its well-known events, but also thanks to its many musical hap-penings going on every day. Austin has close to 200 venues that feature live music. Quite a few are nightclubs, but this city loves to make its music wherever it can find an audience. Odds are you’ll find one of thousands of artists performing any place you go. Whatever your taste in music — contemporary, standard, classic or just a guy or girl on a street corner with a guitar and a dream —

we’ve gotcha covered. Here are a few venues we at the Joe recommend: ACL Live at the Moody Theatre: State-of-the-art concert venue and newhome of the long-running Austin City Limits (on 2nd Street, aka Willie Nel-son Blvd.). Great acoustics and a wide variety of events. Tickets for PBS tap-ings are done by online drawing now.Blue Moon Rock & Blues: Awesome blues joint on 6th (formerly Nuno’s). It’s hard to walk by without being drawn in by whoever’s playing. The Highball: When not dancing to slammin’ groups like the Matchmaker Band (Motown Mondays!), you can get your diva on in themed karaoke rooms. If you happen to be in the Country Room, you aren’t required to sing “Islands in the Stream,” even if Kenny Rogers on the wall appears to be commanding you. Just saying.Zach Theatre (Musical): From “Rent” to “Rocky Horror” to “Bee-

hive” — more fun than you can stuff in a bouffant. Long Center for the Performing Arts: Our crown jewel. The perma-nent home of the Austin Symphony Orchestra, Austin Lyric Opera and Ballet Austin, this world-class facility features performances from the best.

ACL Elephant Room: Smooth jazz nightly. Intimate feel and full bar in a base-ment-level room off of Congress.The Broken Spoke: Think you can line dance? They really line dance

here. Fascinating country music mu-seum too. Spiderhouse: This place has so much funky cool space for music, food and meeting friends. Just go. La Zona Rosa: Eclectic music taste? This is your place. Two stages and a great sound system. Todd Rundgren played here recently with a bad cold. He finally threw in the towel and turned the stage into a karaoke show. The audience willingly obliged! Speakeasy: Enjoy bands on the first floor or take 59 stairs up to an amaz-ing rooftop lounge and view of down-town Austin. Shady Grove: On Thursday nights “Unplugged at the Grove” features some of Austin’s best local performers on the outdoor patio. Kick Butt Coffee House: One of many great hangouts in town that lets musicians do their thing. Get out this weekend and do yours!

12 THE REGULAR JOE

people and soon the class began. This one certainly took more coordination! I also felt a little more self-conscious because one whole wall was mir-rored. All in all, it was fun, and I’m sure with a big more practice I could get the moves right, but it’s really just about having a good time exercising. In the end I decided I preferred the Tuesday night class because the moves were easier to follow and I felt more comfortable without that big mirror! I’ll probably try to find a weekend class too, because now I’m a Zumba fan. If there’s something local you’d like Jo to try, email the editor at [email protected].

By Give it a Go, Jo I had wanted to try Zumba for a while. I heard it was fun — a party, they like to say — and burned a ton of calories. I needed to be more active and, like most Americans, could stand to lose a few pounds. I finally got around to looking up a class in my area of downtown. The first one I decided to try met in the multipurpose room of a nearby church

on Tuesday nights. The teacher has a Facebook page and the price was right: regularly $5, but she was going to try some new moves so it was dis-counted to $1! It takes some courage to try some-thing new on your own. You think to yourself, What will the teacher be like? Will the classmates be friendly or judging? Will I be able to follow along without needing tremendous coordina-tion? It takes some courage to try something new on your own.

I arrived to the church a bit early. The teacher and the pastor — a fellow Zumba enthusiast — were already there. Both were very friendly and in-troduced themselves. Soon enough the upbeat music started and class began. The moves took a little getting used to, but it wasn’t too hard. It was kind of like an aerobics class plus Latin dance. Even if I didn’t get the moves quite right, I definitely got a good workout and had a fun time doing it. After class was over, we all sat around and chatted a bit. The teacher suggested I try out other classes too to find out what I like. I really liked her class but have always been one to heed experts’ advice, so I found an-other Zumba class that met at a local gym on Monday evenings. Luckily, it was a community class, which meant that it was less expensive than the regular drop-in price ($16 for a single

class). Community classes are geared toward people who are not members of the gym. The logistics were a big tougher: I wasn’t sure where to park, had to cross the street a couple of times to get registered for the class, had to fill out a sign-in form with personal information, and the price was a bit higher at $7. The facilities were clean and bright, and the instructor noticed I was new and introduced herself. The class was a bit bigger, roughly a dozen people, but not too crowded. I met two

Let the Zumba Party Begin!

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. —Benjamin Franklin

Tuesday night class is held at 7 p.m. at Emmanuel United Method-ist Church, 200 Brushy St, Austin, TX 78702. www.facebook.com/pages/A-Rileys-Zumba-Dance-Par-ty/106556832783893

Monday night class is held at 6:30 p.m. at Castle Hill Fitness, 1112 N Lamar Blvd, Austin, TX 78703. Classes are also offered Tuesday and Thursday at 6:30 p.m. and Saturday at 11 a.m. www.castlehillfitness.com/classes. Visit zumba.com to find more class listings in your area.

13THE REGULAR JOE

By Kit Christie Publisher Greetings, Austin! If you’ve read my brother’s piece, you know how The Joe began. How did I come on board (other than pure, unadulterated nepotism?) He wore me down! I liked his pitch, but wasn’t sure I wanted to helm the venture. Enter my dynamic, creative business partner, Sally, and the deal was clinched. It was time I got my publishing rear in gear. I’d been writing since I could hold a crayon, despite a dry spell around middle school with distractions by boys and Tiger Beat magazine. What got me writing as a teenager was ... a goldfish who lived in a fishbowl in our bathroom. I was brushing my teeth one night when I had a sudden wrist spasm and flicked my toothbrush into the fishbowl, scaring poor Charlie into his plastic castle! Now if that happned today, I’d rinse out the brush and get on with life (What am I saying? I wouldn’t have a fishbowl in my bathroom today. I have enough trouble keeping the other bowl clean!), but at 14, a toothbrush in fish water was “eeeuuuwww!” It had to be written about. I got in bed with dirty teeth, took out some paper and began journaling. Flash forward to college, commu-

nications degree in hand. In the stu-dent affairs office, I asked about TV internships. The work study student barely glanced at me over her bifocals. “Those are glamour jobs,” she said, haughtily. “You’re on your own.” With that, I began my life on the liberal arts trail. Some of you are nod-ding. You too? Where did it take me? Kansas City, Chicago and Los Angeles. I did intern at a TV station. (It’s true — holding cue cards at car dealerships and writing commercials for paint is glamorous!) I’ve worked as a film pro-duction assistant and actress. I spent several years at public and elementary school libraries. I can balance six hush puppy-laden platters on my arm (one for each year I waited tables). I learned the insider secrets of gift wrapping at JCPenney’s, sold Avon, kissed the hindquarters of manage-ment at a country club (let them kiss mine when I left), helped preschool-ers get a Head Start, refereed women at shoe sales (and lived), announced showtimes at Universal Studios, emptied ashtrays at a comedy club and participated in medical drug testing. Oh, and did grocery store hot dog demonstrations:“Plump & Juicy!” So why Austin? My husband and I had had some great personal and professional experiences in Califor-

nia, but after 15 years, we longed for something different. We’d heard Austin was “keepin’ it weird,” so we made some trips to find out what that was about and liked the vibe. Friends ribbed us. “You’ll be wearing large buckled belts and big hair!” I figured if that happened, it wouldn’t be a first. (I lived through the ‘70s and ‘80s.) Things were bigger in Texas. Driv-ing through it took days. In 2003, we pulled into Austin after 1,377 miles of road, parked the U-Haul at Arby’s, and questioned what we had just done as we sipped on our pints of Texan root beer. Some first impressions: “Y’all” can

mean “you all” or just “you.” Texas salsa is hotter (if the waiter says 6, it’s 10). Streets can have several names. And funny pronunciations. Burnet isn’t pronounced bur-nett but burn-it. Koenig is kay-nig. It’s also Allendale and Northland. If you get lost, friendly locals will help, but you’ll get direc-tions like “turn at the giant spinning cupcake.” If you’re on I-35 in a compact, surrounded by Texas-sized pickups ... um, don’t be. Take the side streets that have three different names — they aren’t just safer — they have the most interesting places. This paper will celebrate those places. After nine years I’ve come to love Austin — the people, parks, festivals, arts, progressiveness, playfulness and heart. I love and read many of the publications here, and they all bring something to the table. I look forward to getting to know the city better with you. Share your stories. Tell us what you love. We’ll seek things out together. Come on, y’all ... the trail awaits.

Life on the Liberal Arts Trail

Barring that natural ex-pression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough. —Mark Twain

Kit and her buddy Jack

14 THE REGULAR JOE

Procrastination isn’t the problem, it’s the solution. So procrastinate now, don’t put it off. —Ellen DeGeneres

Joe’s Mug Shots

Tell your friends you saw them in the Joe!

15THE REGULAR JOE

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Stumpy and his wife, Martha, went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, Martha, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.” And every year Martha would say, “I know, Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.” One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, “Martha, I’m 71 years old. If I don’t ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance.” Martha replied, “Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.” The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal, I’ll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you, but if you say one word it’s ten dollars.” Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy. “By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.” Stumpy replied, “Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.” —Unknown

Stumpy and Martha

S F R E T N E C R E W O L F D L I W R K L D O M A I N Z K A Y A K S T K N E L T K S K C Y E H G E E F K O R S O W O V P I G G M F U Z J A M L A D S N O Y B A O T L C O L F R U O P A K E Z T J P B W O M B C L M E T R R Q A R V T O B Z S B G A U E S I E B P H E G N U D P C D K S V R U P K O F K C N N O U T Y E I A Y S M A L R D P E G U O Y L A X G M S M J C I E L L E V K P C U T T O V C A B S Z T L F P B A H S H Z Q C C T R L Q I U A H S S U T S Q T K T V I K M Q C M K P Q G I T H N A U O A D E T N R P J X F N R E O U R T O G B T Q R E C X W J E H W H L B Y H S Q D O Z C J M U E S U M S N E R D L I H C X J O G T W P T T S T A B H J U M G V I

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