The Pursuit of Excellence and the Pitfalls of Perfectionism

THE

PURSUIT

OF

EXCEL

LENCE A

ND THE

PITF

ALL O

F PE

RFECTI

ONISM

Patric

k Car

ruth

and Je

ff Gep

hart

PERFECTIONISM IN OUR CHILDREN?

PERFECTIONISM IN US?

"You can see that the problem with perfectionism begins when we move beyond the legitimate pursuit of excellence to live under the tyranny of believing that perfection is possible and failures are unacceptable. Standards of productivity, accomplishment or appearance are so high that they are impossible to attain.

When our self-worth and self-respect depend on reaching those standards, the result is an inevitable script for self-defeat: one’s own personal hell of repeated failure, self-criticism and depression. Notice that it is the degree of intensity with which we pursue impossible goals, and the degree to which we feel that our worth is dependent on reaching those goals, that defines the difference between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism."

(pg. 36 Perfecting Ourselves to Death by Richard Winter)

“…the problem with perfectionism begins when we move beyond the legitimate pursuit of excellence to live under the tyranny of believing that perfection is possible and failures are unacceptable. “

EXCELLENCE IN THE CLASSICAL WORLD

PLATO AND ARISTOTLE

NICHOMACHAEN ETHICS

VIRTUE

Meaning a "moral life and conduct, moral excellence," from Latin virtus meaning "moral strength, manliness, valor, excellence, worth," from vir meaning "man or husband".

The four classical virtues:Temperance JusticePrudenceCourage

EUDAIMONIA

Means "producing or maintaining happiness with an objectively desirable life.“ Literally means “having a good or guardian spirit (eu + daimon).

ARÊTE

Is an important concept in Greek philosophy, generally meaning "virtue, excellence," especially of “manly” qualities; lit. "that which is good." The superlative is aristos (best), from which we get the word aristocracy (aristo + kratos).

Fulfilling potentialLife long journeyEffort not intellect

PAIDEIA

From the Greek pais, paidos. The upbringing of a child (similar to the words pedagogy and pediatrics). It is the equivalent of the Latin humanitas (from which we get the humanities), signifying the general learning that should be the possession of all human beings.

Paideia meant the process of educating man into his true form, the real and genuine human nature.

David Naugle

PAIDEIA

The classical Greek system of education and training, which came to include gymnastics, grammar, rhetoric, poetry, music, mathematics, geography, natural history, astronomy and the physical sciences, history of society and ethics, and philosophy—the complete pedagogical course of study necessary to produce a well-rounded, fully educated citizen.”

Richard Tarnas, The Passion of the Western

Mind, pp. 29-30.

PAIDEIA

The TrueThe GoodThe Beautiful

The making of the human (humanitas), not the training of men

PHILIPPIANS 3:12-15

12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.

PHILIPPIANS 3:12-15

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

PHILIPPIANS 3:12-15

15 All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

I Am the Kite I am the kite:Red and orange,Fire in the sky,Stunt Kite,Cutting loopsAnd gashes in the blue,My skin vibratesOn my frame with power. 

I Am the Kite (cont’d)  I cut the cordTo fly yet higher still,To show the restWhat freedom's all about.I turn and twistMy fanciest curlAnd set my courseFor distance. 

I Am the Kite (cont’d) But, my mistakeWas notTo take the wind for granted,But the cordThat tensioned meTo one I did not seeSo far below. The flyer is not me. 

I Am the Kite (cont’d) Lord, give me the anchor. Give me pause.Let me know in freedom's limited flight, The kite's first cause. 

Bruce Barton BaileySunday, May 29, 1994

PERFECTIONISM VS. EXCELLENCEFROM JEFF BAAS

Being Wrong

PERFECTIONISM is the fear of being wrong.

EXCELLENCE is the willingness

to be wrong and to learn from it.

Not Measuring Up

PERFECTIONISM is fear that

others might think you don’t

measure up.

EXCELLENCE is a desire to be the best you can be.

Freedom

PERFECTIONISM is confining.

EXCELLENCE is freeing.

PERFECTIONISM VS. EXCELLENCE

Openness

PERFECTIONISM is closing

yourself off.

EXCELLENCE is opening yourself

up.

Direction

PERFECTIONISM is remaining right where

you’ve always been.

EXCELLENCE is a journey of discovery.

Improvement

PERFECTIONISM is fearing something

unpleasant will come from your

efforts.

EXCELLENCE is an excitement

over the improvements

that you will help discover.

REALIZE

We are fallen Image Bearers and the inability to perfect ourselves

We live in the present by grace, without fear of past or future

OBSERVE AND EMPHASIZE

Watch for signs in self and childrenEmphasize process instead of outcome Emphasize character development over appearance or performance

The work of Christ and the pull of Grace toward excellence

"Humility, which involves losing our self-sufficiency, is a secret of soul rest because it does not presume to secure outcomes.“

Dallas Willard from Renovation of the Heart

When You Come Back Downmusic and lyrics by Nickel Creek

You got to leave me now, you got to go aloneYou got to chase a dream, one that's all your

ownBefore it slips awayWhen you're flyin' high, take my heart alongI'll be the harmony to every lonely songThat you learn to play 

When you're soarin' through the air

I'll be your solid ground

Take every chance you dare

I'll still be there

When you come back down

When you come back down 

I'll keep lookin' up awaitin' your return

My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn

And I won't feel your fire

I'll be the other hand that always holds the line

Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine

I'm strung out on that wire 

And I'll be on the other end

To hear you when you call

Angel, you were born to fly

And if you get too high

I'll catch you when you fall

I'll catch you when you fall 

Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings

I know the sky is calling

Angel, let me help you with your wings 

When you're soarin' through the air

I'll be your solid ground

Take every chance you dare

I'll still be there

When you come back down 

Take every chance you dare

I'll still be there

When you come back down

When you come back down