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The Hominid HeraldProviding your weekly news since the Cenozoic Era!Editor: Anna d. Vol. 10,562 Hopewell Co.
April
13, 2009
K N O W Y O U R
H O M OPrimates vs. Hominids
BY: EVA LUTION
Have you ever looked at a pictureof a primate and wondered How can that
possibly be my ancestor?! From countlessyears of research and tedious observationof human and primate characteristics,anthropologists have shown that we,indeed, are related to primates. Humans
are descended from a long line ofhominids, who walked the Earth nearly 7million years ago. These hominids wereclose ancestors to the primates we knowtoday as monkeys and apes. Whileanthropologists studies have shownevidence as to how humans, hominids, and
primates are all alike through molecularand structural comparison, there arecertainly differences that can be noted.
Most primates live in or aroundtrees (although some primates do not,including humans). Primates possessadaptations that make living in an
How do we
know
evolution
exists? How
evidencemeans
everything!
See Editorials
pg C1
See pg
C1
For a
special
interviewwith
world-
famous
hominid,
Lucy!
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thousands of years ago is nothing shortof fascinating.
The first Neanderthal skullswere found in Belgium in 1829. Sincethen, nearly 400 samples of
Neanderthal remains have been found.Many believed that these individualswere the ancestors of Europeans.Anthropologists have not yet classified Neanderthals as a part of the human
race. Evidence shows thatNeanderthalswere considerably stronger and more
powerful than humans. They had strongteeth, flat, elongated skulls, broadershoulders, think thigh bones, and largerkneecaps. The deterioration examinedon the teeth shows that Neanderthalsate tough foods and chewed on hides tomake them softer. Studies have alsoshown that Neanderthals buried theirdead, wore jewelry, used bones, wood,and stone for tools, crafted spheres, and
were able to carry out a number ofsophisticated activities. For example,
Neanderthals were able to create fireand build shelters. Some scientists believe that Neanderthals were relatedto the species Homo heidelbergensisthat lived in Africa at least 780,000years ago. On the other hand, somediscoveries have shown that Neanderthals and modern Homo
sapiens lived near each other, meaningthe two groups could have interbredand formed a relationship.
While Neanderthals remain amystery to us in some aspects, there has been a great deal of information thathas been recovered about this species.From the first discovery of Neanderthalremains up until now, scientists and paleontologists made very interestingdiscoveries, however we have yet tofind out if we truly are related to theNeanderthals.
B1
Battle of the
HominidsBY: GLEN LICHENRecently, a massive fight broke
out between local hominids. For
millions of years, various Homo
species have been in an intellectual
competition with the Homo erectus
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France- Mammoth attack injures
5, March 7
Indonesia- Hominid carjacks 10
vehicles from locals at an
evolution convention, April 9
Ghana- remains of a Neanderthal
family is recovered, April 10
Argentina- family of monkeys
raids a hominid clans home,
hominids forced to leave, April
11C1
Lucy: a legacy
An exclusive interview with the most adored early human of all time, Lucy
Afarensi. Interview takes place at Lucys rock condo in Miami, is led by Dr.
Mary Linus, and is translated by Frank Wizengamot.
Dr. Linus:Can you describe your life before you acquired the fame you have
today?
Lucy:ugg-ug ugga radda uggug [grunts].
Well, Doctor, Id have to say that my life is much different now than it was
before I got into the spotlight. About 3.2 million years ago, I lived in a small
colony in Ethiopia with 20 other hominids. Then, I was a free-spirited
teenager, always skipping my wheel-making lessons to watch fire with my
friends. I enjoyed climbing trees, jewelry making, and rock collecting- the
usual hominid hobbies. I gathered seeds and roots from the fields, for that
was the typical food that was eaten in my time. I also hung around the men
of my clan often (I was quite the hot rod).
Dr. Linus:Indeedand how would you say your life has changed since then?
Lucy: Ugg ugg raga ugga uggug ooga ooga ug.
I am very thankful for how my life has turned out. Ever since I met Don and
Tom, everything changed for me. If you were wondering, Don Johansen and
Pictures from the Interview:
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Tom Grey were two anthropologists who found me in Ethiopia during an
expedition in Africa in 1974. From there, they brought me to America, and I
received instant adoration from scientists across the globe. An astonishing40% of my body was recovered, an event that could not have seemed possible
to a pair of anthropologists! My life from then on included spending time in
museums and getting moved around, but now Im trying to keep a low-key
life here in my beach side rock-mansion.
C2
Dr. Linus:
Well, you have a lovely...ummhouse?C
ave? Anyway, do you carryout activities that you enjoyed in Ethiopia? Have you found any new activities that
are of interest to you in America?
Lucy:Ugga ug-ug [grunts] radda oog garga ooga.I still enjoy climbing trees very much. As you can see, I have rather long arms
that are of good use when climbing, so its only natural for me to continue my
tree-climbing. I still have a habit of using rocks and wood for tools, except I
did get out to Home Depot last week so I could find some civilized
housekeeping equipment rock houses are a hassle to keep clean! I like tokeep up on my walking schedule so that I can be ready for beach season. I
walk slightly different than modern humans, but I am capable of walking in
an upright position, so I dont look like an ape in that sense. I am also trying
to get myself some plastic surgery. Being an Australopithecus, my face
protrudes much more than a modern humans face, and I do not find it
attractive whatsoever.
Dr. Linus: Well, that concludes our interview. Thank you very much for your
time, Lucy!Lucy:Ugga ugga ugg radda oog!
Youre welcome! Feel free to take some imported tree roots on your way out
for a snack! Remember to buy my biography, Lucy, the Beginnings ofMankind!
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Community
CornerEditorials
D1
Evolution: Its all AboutEvidence!
Evolution is a theory that has been debated and examined fornearly two centuries in the scientific community. Often, a theory isviewed as a mere guess or hypothesis, with no legitimate proof.Many argue against the existence of evolution, however theyoverlook the great deal of evidence that has been accumulated overthe years by scientists and anthropologists. I believe that there are a
number of primary sources for this evidence, three of which are thefossil record, structural resemblances, and molecular studies.
The fossil record shows us that there are countless amountsof organisms existing on Earth. It proves that many species haveevolved over time to be the organisms that are present on Earthtoday. By examining fossils, paleontologists can make connectionsbetween ancient organisms and modern organisms. For example,
footprints of early hominids that were preserved have been carefully
examined. This evidence usually shows a scientist how the organismmoved, how much it weighed, and how large it was. The fossilrecord
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evolution to become how we see it today, and I feel that it is
important that everyone knows about each one of them.
First, rise of new technologies has made the process ofinvestigating evolution much different. By using more sophisticated
equipment, scientists are able to examine fossils and DNA more
closely, and, thus, change ideas about evolution. In addition to
technology, the unearthing of evidence has brought about changes
in scientific views. For example, the discovery of new fossils allows
scientists to compare organisms and make new conclusions about
evolution. Lastly, varying opinions can also change ideas about
evolution. Religious views can cause people to deny evolution, andinstead turn to the idea of creation. Scientists can also have
different opinions. An instance of changing scientific opinions is the
classification system, which is constantly changing as a result of
scientists with distinct views on where to place certain organisms.
In essence, it is vital that the public and the scientific
communities know how ideas about evolution are changing. It is
also necessary that one knows what factors are causing the rise of
D3
new concepts, not just concerning evolution. In a world whereanswers dont always come easy, we must be aware of ideas and
theories that are changing all around us.
- Anna d., Editor
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E1
A piece by Glen Harkin:
Humans have come so far in the past 4.6 million years. Weve gone from single-celled
organisms, to simple eukaryotes, to monkeys, to hominids, and finally, to the civilized
individuals that we are today. But is evolution really finished with the human race?
Maybe not
SO, WHATS TO COME FOR HUMAN EVOLUTION??
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F1
In 10,000
years...
Homo sapiens will be at least 5 feet taller than the average human in 2009
will be much stronger and very physically fit
In 1 millionyears...
Homo sapiens will acquire a great sense of smell (as of a dog)
very strong, hardly breakable bones, and a stronger heart-life expectancy is approx. 175 years
complete immunity to any sicknesses and/or diseases
In 10 millionyears...
Homo sapiens will have great eye sight (500/5 vision)
sonar hearing, ears will be shaped so that sound can be trapped more efficiently
In 50 millionyears...
(
ow, a different species) Homo sapiens will have acquired another arm, and fingers that are small and manipulativeenough to accomplish extraordinary tasks
WANTED:
Hominid who can create fire!(without causing injuries or
fatalities)
HELP WANTED:
(Must be capable of serving carnivorous
WANTED:Skilled Cave dweller who can
paint stone art
WANT ADS
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F2
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