The Holy Spirit and Marriage

8/12/2019 The Holy Spirit and Marriage

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Experiencing the Power

of the Holy Spirit in YourMarriage (and Family)

Enrich It Gods Way


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The Holy Spirit and Life

I do not need to tell you that the

main difference between Christianity

and all other religions is that Christlives in us. Paul said in Colossians

1:27 To them God has chosen to

make known among the Gentiles the

glorious riches of this mystery,which is Christ in you, the hope of

glory.


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Effects of His Presence

To have a Christian Marriage a

person has to be a Christian

We must be able to confess with our lipsthat Jesus is Lord and believe in our

heart that he has been resurrected from

the dead and we will be saved. (Romans

10:9-10). This begins the journey that

leads us on the way to become an

authentic Christian


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William James did not say this in his

writings on salvation, but the

authentic Christian loves everybody The song Give me That Old Time

Religionhad a verse in it that says

It makes you love everybody. Its

true. It does! Especially our spouse


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Love?

They reveal their vices and virtues

Their perfections an imperfections

Their Assets and liabilities Now this process takes place both

verbally and by observation

The best places to observe it is in

the loved ones family and socialsettings


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Why Know Them?

Because we have two

personalities

We have:

A public personality

And a private (or intimate)

personality


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Public and Private

It is the private personality thatwe have to live with when we

marry Unfortunately our personalities

are often disparate

Some men and women may becharming and delightful in publicand devilish in intimaterelationships


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Public and Private

My mentor used to describe somewomen as drawing room (public)angels and house devils

Men can be the same The only way to find out all about a

person is to know them for a sufficientlength of time and in different social

situations It takes at least a year to know them

intimately


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Love?

As we learn about one another we

psychospiritually install the other

person And when this process is complete

we are one. This is what God meant

when he told us to leave our father

and mother and become onewithour mate. (Genesis 2:24)


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Back to Effects

Just as we install our mates inourselves We also install the

Lord in our lives We love because he first loves

us, and when he does our livesare transformed

He gives us a new personality

We have:


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A happy mood that comes from Hisindwelling love

There is a loss of worry We have an understanding of truths

not perceived before

There is changed behavior

The world is objectively changed There is a sense of cleanliness both

inside and out


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In our post conversion life weare more likely to:

Live longerHave better health

Heal more quickly

Have better marriagesRear children of worthBe better citizens


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Be more likely to communicate

with God regularly

Live by Gods commandments andlive moral lives

Be persons of integrity

Have stronger support

communities

Be more altruistic


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Why?

The answer lies in the presence

of the Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit lives in us as acontroller that is over our mind

and guides our human nature into

Godly pursuits


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Why?

The acts of the sinful nature are

obvious: sexual immorality,

impurity and debauchery; idolatryand witchcraft; hatred, discord,

jealousy, fits of rage, selfish

ambition, dissensions, factions

and envy; drunkenness, orgies,and the like. Gal 5:19-21


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Why?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love,

joy, peace, patience, kindness,

goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control.

Galatians 5:22,23a

He provides these in ourmarriages


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Fruit and Marriage

Love is enhanced

Joy comes from living together

and having children

Peace comes from the security

we have in loving one another

Patience comes as we work

toward the same goals


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Fruit and Marriage

Faithfulness is a fruit because we

have become one with our mate and

have promised to be faithful and areexpected to be

Gentleness is a derivative of love for

we do not want to hurt the object of

our love Kindness is also a derivative of love

as is goodness


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Fruit and Marriage

When we love someone we put

their best interests and welfare

above out own We live our lives for them

We deny ourselves, and are no

longer selfish and self centered We become their servant


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Exercise

I want you to take one sheet ofpaper and write a love letter to yourspouse listing all the things that

make you love them. Write only onepage. You may go over a little bit butkeep it short and concise

It can be as mushy as you want tomake it

We will take a 30 minute break whenyou have finished


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What do we want in our

Marriage We want to be able to

communicate with one another

We want to love one another We want a good sexual

relationship

We want children We want to share recreational

interests


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What do we Want?

We want intellectual stimulation

Shared religion

Having an orderly home

Having in laws we can like

Good food

Possessions


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Building Spiritual

Strength Spiritual strength comes from

regular encounters with The Spirit of

God. We encounter God

In our music

Our prayer

Our Bible study

In the Eucharist

And in the personal testimony of others


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Building Spiritual

Strength Personal testimony is what

Jesus commanded us to do in

Acts 1:8, But you will receivepower when the Holy Spirit

comes on you; and you will be

my witnesses in Jerusalem, andin all Judea and Samaria, and to

the ends of the earth."


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Building Spiritual

Strength Witness is always relating what

we have seen and heard

A testimony to the works of Godreveals his love for us and thus

he inhabits that testimony

This is why we encounter Himin witness


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Building Spiritual

Strength We need to encounter God because

our power leaks out

Our encounters renew the power of theSpirit in us and we are able to serve God

and witness for him

We can tell of his wondrous works

But we can also be be more lovinghusbands, wives, fathers and mothers,

pastors, teachers and friends


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Why?

Those who live according to

the sinful nature have their

minds set on what that naturedesires; but those who live in

accordance with the Spirit have

their minds set on what theSpirit desires.


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Why?

The mind controlled by thesinful nature is death, but the

mind controlled by the Spirit islife and peace. The sinful mindis hostile to God; it does notsubmit to God's law, nor can it

do so. Those controlled by thesinful nature cannot pleaseGod. Romans 8:5-8


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What effect does the Holy Spirit

have on marriage?

The answer is that it makes anenormous difference 50% of marriages in our country end in

divorce In the general church the divorce rate is

about 45%

When two born again Christians marry it

is only 10% And when two Spirit filled Christians

marry the divorce rate is only1%


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Why the Disparity?

The answer lies in the fact ThatGods presence in the lives of bothspouses enhances their love for one

another and they are able to use thebiblical guides to right living to beone

God began his instruction in the

beginning. For this reason a manwill leave his father and mother andbe united to his wife, and they willbecome one flesh. Genesis 2:24


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What more does God say about

marriage and family?

The Bible says that the

scriptures are a guide to right

living They clearly address Marriage

an family with principles of

relating to our husbands, wivesand children


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Principles

First it says that married and

later family life should have love

and order Ephesians 5:21-33The love should be unconditional

And spouses should be submitted

to one another


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Principles

Second there should be welldefined roles

The husband is the breadwinnerHe is to be the protector of the

home

The primary disciplinarian

An the head of the house

Attending to all his duties in love


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Principles

The husband and father is alsoto be:

HardworkingTrustworthy

Generous

Wise and knowledgeable

Frugal

A kind and fair disciplinarian


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Principles

The wife is to be the homemakerand nurturer of the children

She is to be one with her husbandin disciplining the children

Her primary job is to socialize thechildren

She may also contribute to breadwinning, but her primary duty ishomemaker


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Principles

There should be open and honest

communication Ephesians 4:17-32

There should be agreement on: Management of finances

John Wesleys principles

Sexual activity

Child nurturance And social and recreational activity


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Communication

Rules Listen

Hear them out

Talk only when it is your turn

Try to understand how the other

person feels

Dont defend yourself


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Communication Rules

Continued State in love what you think and

feel

Bring every argument to aconclusion

After the argument is over and

the emotion is out of itSETTLE IT!


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Communication Style

In marriage the couple shouldlive an assertive life style of

communicationThis means that they confess theirthoughts and feelings

The do not express their thoughts

and feelings nor do theyRepress their thoughts and

feelings


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Communication

A simple mnemonic to help you

remember how to be assertive

isWhen

I think and I feel

I would like


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Communicating Love

Gary Chapman Says that love is

communicated in ways other than

talking. It is important, but other

things are necessary.

We are to love our wives and

husbands unconditionally

Do not be critical Do not condemn

Heed Ephesians 4:29-32


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Communicating love

Do not let any unwholesome talk comeout of your mouths, but only what is helpfulfor building others up according to their

needs, that it may benefit those who listen.And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God,with whom you were sealed for the day ofredemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rageand anger, brawling and slander, along

with every form of malice. Be kind andcompassionate to one another, forgivingeach other, just as in Christ God forgave

you.


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Communicating Love

Spend Quality time together

It should be free of distractions

It should be a time for unrestrictedcommunication

It should be a time where you canhave fun

You should not have the kidsalong. Park them with someoneelse


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Communicating Love

A third method ofcommunicating love is to give

and receive giftsThese do not have to be expensiveThey should be something that

your mate can use and be

reminded of your loveThey should be something that

your wife or husband will like


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Communicating Love

Have non sexual physical contact Men should hold their wives so that they

feel protected and secure

They should be hugged and kissed andnot dragged off to bed

Hold their hands, put your arm aroundthem when possible while seated

Pats on the fanny, kisses on the neck,stroking their head, and other nonsexual gestures qualify. Spouses shouldreceive these with appreciation


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Communicating Love

Perform acts of service Women have a tough time raising and

nurturing kids

Husbands should help them as much aspossible especially if the wife works

Cleaning the table, loading thedishwasher, Putting clean dishes away

Taking out the trash Bathing the kids if necessary

And many other things that show youcare


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The Holy Spirit and the

Family Application of Christian

principles in marriage should:

Create stability in the homeCreate children of worth

Bring happiness to all members

And glorify God, for that is manschief aim (Westminster Shorter

Catechism--Question 1)


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What else do we need to do to

create a spirit guided family life

We should affirm our children, i.e.

love e hof them unconditionally. Icannot emphasize this enough

We should teach them biblical

values. Deuteronomy 4:9,10; 6:6-9;

31:10-13

We should be role models of spiritualmen and women


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Family Life

Communicate our faith through

personal witness and example

Teach Bible in a simple way through

Bible story telling and limited verse

memorization

Teach children how to pray by praying

with them

Teach Gods rules of moral behavior by

explaining why we obey them


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Family Life

Demonstrate your faith by living it

Go to a church where Christ is

regularly encounteredBe excited about your faith

Make it seem desirable

Communicate the benefits through

thanksgiving


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Conclusions

Having a marriage and family in

the Spirit requires continuing

spiritual growth of both parents Both parents need to actively

use the means of grace to

facilitate their growth. Theyneed to pray together, study the

bible and worship together.

The Holy Spirit and Marriage

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