The Experience of Divine Guidance: A Qualitative Study of the Human Endeavor to Seek, Receive, and Follow Guidance from a Perceived Divine Source

THE EXPERIENCE OF DIVINE GUIDANCE

A Qualitative Study of the Human Endeavor to

Seek, Receive, and Follow Guidance from a Perceived Divine Source

Mark Allan Kaplan, Ph.D.

THE EXPERIENCE OF DIVINE GUIDANCE:

A Qualitative Study of the Human Endeavor to Seek, Receive, and Follow Guidance from

a Perceived Divine Source

by

Mark Allan Kaplan, Ph.D.

Original Gravity Pacific Grove, California

The Experience of Divine Guidance:

A Qualitative Study of the Human Endeavor to Seek, Receive, and Follow Guidance from a Perceived Divine Source

Mark Allan Kaplan, Ph.D. eBook Edition

2010

Mark Allan Kaplan – Original Gravity P.O. Box 251,

Pacific Grove, California 93950 831-401-0034

www.markallankaplan.com

© 2005/2007 Mark Allan Kaplan, Ph.D.

All Rights Reserved. No part of this manuscript may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or

mechanical, including photocopying, recordning, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America.

ISBN-13: 978-0-9797980-6-1 ISBN-10:0-9797980-6-X

DISSERTATION EDITION

Dissertation Abstracts International DAI-B 66/05, p. 2855, Nov 2005

UMI Publication Number AAT 3174544 ISBN 0-542-12678-8

A dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements

for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Transpersonal Psychology from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, Palo Alto, California.

Dissertation Committee:

Arthur Hastings, Ph.D., William Braud, Ph.D., and Genie Palmer, Ph.D.

ii

http://www.markallankaplan.com/

Who moveth thee, if sense impel thee not? Moves thee a light, which in the heaven takes form,

By self, or by a will that downward guides it.

—Dante Alighieri (Purgatorio, Canto 17)

Image: The Creation of Man (Fragment of the Sistine Chapel Ceiling) by Michaelangelo (1511-1512).

Image in public domain. Retrieved from http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/michaelangelo/

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ABSTRACT

The Experience of Divine Guidance: A Qualitative Study of the Human Endeavor

to Seek, Receive, and Follow Guidance from a Perceived Divine Source

by

Mark Allan Kaplan

This research study examined the experience of seeking, receiving, and following guidance

from a perceived source of divine wisdom. Nine advanced spiritual teachers (5 men and 4

women) from 7 spiritual traditions participated as coresearchers in this study. Coresearchers

were North American or European born, predominantly Caucasian, California (USA)

residents between the ages of 52 and 74. Coresearcher participation consisted of individual

semistructured in-depth interviews. The questions and topics of discussion used for the

interviews were developed through a process of researcher heuristic and spiritual self-

inquiry. The results of a grounded-theory-based qualitative content analysis of the interview

transcripts suggested that the experience of divine guidance, as measured in the current

study, is characterized by a common structuring of the experience that includes general

categories, factors, and patterns which appear to manifest into various particular and

contextual forms depending on the individual person, event, and circumstance. The

reported common structures of the experience included: The perception of a divine source

of guidance; the experience of seeking, receiving, and following guidance from this

perceived source; and various contributing, impeding, developmental, and mediating

factors. Additionally, each coresearcher reported a unique metaphor of divine encounter

that appeared to give them an archetypal and visceral way of describing and holding the

experience. The researcher appeared to experience each of the coresearcher’s metaphors of

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divine encounter through some kind of resonant learning or mimicking process. A

Guidance Experience Template, Guidance Experience Evaluation Checklist, and

Synthesized Guidance Practice were developed as aids to counselors, practitioners, and

researchers exploring the experience of divine guidance. The findings of this study, and the

development and implementation of guidance-related applications in this research, may

advance the understanding of this common and historically significant human experience,

and offer a valuable contribution to the fields of transpersonal psychology, spiritual

guidance, and spiritual psychology.

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I gratefully acknowledge the help, support, and contributions of my coresearchers,

my teachers and advisors, my family, my friends, the scholars and researchers who blazed

this trail before me, and that mysterious source of wisdom and guidance that has guided me

through this challenging and wondrous research journey.

I especially wish to express my heartfelt gratitude to Arthur Hastings, William

Braud, Genie Palmer, Robert Schmitt, Carolyn Miller, and Ram Dass for offering their wise

counsel and guidance; to William Kueppers for his gracious, generous, and inspiring peer

support; to Robert Clark, Peter Hirose, Sharon Hamrick, and the entire ITP Library staff for

their unwavering and deeply caring research assistance; to Sandra Joy Metzler for her

thoughtful and careful transcriptions of the data collected for this study; to Susan Newton

for her caring and precise editorial assistance; to my Father, my dearly departed Mother,

my brother Arthur, and my sisters Mardi and Selma whose spoken and unspoken love has

been a sustaining force in my life and through this process; to my spiritual parents, Arthur

and Martha Salkin, for their immeasurable heartfelt, loving, and constant support of this

endeavor; and to my dear wife and life partner Sarah, whose unending encouragement,

love, and support made this research journey possible.

T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S

Abstract .................................................................................................................................... iv

Acknowledgments .................................................................................................................... vi

List of Tables .......................................................................................................................... xiv

List of Figures ......................................................................................................................... xv

Chapter 1: Introduction ............................................................................................................. 1

Topic of Inquiry .................................................................................................................. 1

Primary Intention and Research Questions ........................................................................ 2

Method of Inquiry ............................................................................................................... 3

Relevance and Significance ................................................................................................ 6

Content Overview ............................................................................................................... 7

Chapter 2: Literature Review .................................................................................................... 8

The Experience of Divine Guidance ................................................................................ 10

Biographical and Autobiographical Accounts ........................................................... 13

An Historical Study of the Experiences of Mystics ............................................ 14

The Case of Joseph Caro ...................................................................................... 17

The Case of Emanuel Swedenborg ...................................................................... 18

Religious Narratives ................................................................................................... 20

Divine Guidance in the Israelite Traditions ......................................................... 20

Divine Guidance in Luke and Acts ...................................................................... 22

The Experience of Calling ................................................................................................ 24

Forms of Divine Communication ..................................................................................... 30

Inner Voice ................................................................................................................. 31

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Channeling .................................................................................................................. 34

Intuition ....................................................................................................................... 39

Inspiration ................................................................................................................... 41

Synchronicity .............................................................................................................. 43

Divination .......................................................................................................................... 45

The I Ching ................................................................................................................. 46

Guidance Practices ............................................................................................................ 49

The Practice of the Presence of the Divine ................................................................ 50

Spiritual Exercises and the Discernment of Spirits ................................................... 53

Spiritual Guidance ...................................................................................................... 57

Spiritual Apprenticeship ....................................................................................... 58

Spiritual Direction and Counseling ...................................................................... 59

Discernment ...................................................................................................................... 62

Guidance in Cases of Loss and Addiction ....................................................................... 68

Summary ........................................................................................................................... 70

Chapter 3: Research Methods ................................................................................................. 73

Research Design ............................................................................................................... 73

Methods ...................................................................................................................... 76

Heuristic Research ................................................................................................ 77

Spiritual Inquiry ................................................................................................... 79

Grounded Theory ................................................................................................. 81

Validity ....................................................................................................................... 83

Coresearchers .................................................................................................................... 84

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Selection Criteria ........................................................................................................ 84

Selection Procedures .................................................................................................. 85

Confidentiality and Consent ....................................................................................... 85

Demographics ............................................................................................................. 86

Research Process ............................................................................................................... 87

Researcher Self-Inquiry .............................................................................................. 88

Topic Immersion .................................................................................................. 88

Self-Reflection ...................................................................................................... 88

Self-Experimentation ........................................................................................... 90

Interviews .................................................................................................................... 92

Questions .............................................................................................................. 92

Instruments and Techniques ................................................................................. 93

Environments ........................................................................................................ 95

Procedures ............................................................................................................ 96

Data Treatment ........................................................................................................... 97

Instruments and Techniques ................................................................................. 97

Procedures ............................................................................................................ 99

Chapter 4: Research Findings ............................................................................................... 105

Categories of Experience ................................................................................................ 107

Source as Object of Experience ............................................................................... 108

The Experience of Seeking ....................................................................................... 109

Practices (Tools and Techniques) ...................................................................... 110

Attribute Practices ........................................................................................ 112

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The Experience of Receiving ................................................................................... 113

Forms of Communication .................................................................................. 113

Content of Communication ................................................................................ 114

Qualities of the Experience ................................................................................ 115

The Experience of Following ................................................................................... 116

Effects of the Experience ................................................................................... 117

Discernment ........................................................................................................ 118

Incorporation ...................................................................................................... 120

Factors of Experience ..................................................................................................... 121

Contributing Factors ................................................................................................. 122

Impeding Factors (Obstacles) ................................................................................... 123

Personal Constructs ............................................................................................ 124

Developmental Factors ............................................................................................. 125

Surrender ............................................................................................................ 126

Mediating Factors ..................................................................................................... 127

Effort and Grace ................................................................................................. 127

Set and Setting .................................................................................................... 128

Transcendent Education ..................................................................................... 129

Metaphors of Divine Encounter ..................................................................................... 131

Resonant Learning .......................................................................................................... 134

Guided Inquiry ................................................................................................................ 136

Summary of Findings...................................................................................................... 139

Chapter 5: Synthesis and Discussion .................................................................................... 141

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Synthesis of the Findings ................................................................................................ 142

Universal and Particular Structures of the Experience ............................................ 142

Categories of Experience and Associated Patterns, Elements, and Forms ....... 143

Factors of Experience and Associated Patterns, Elements, and Forms ............ 147

A Conceptual Template of the Experience .............................................................. 153

Discussion of the Findings ............................................................................................. 157

Comparing the Findings with the Literature ............................................................ 157

Metaphors and Themes of Divine Encounter .......................................................... 159

Resonant Interaction and Learning .......................................................................... 163

Guidance on the Path of Inquiry .............................................................................. 165

Synthesized Discussion .................................................................................................. 166

Creative Synthesis .................................................................................................... 167

Synthesized Conceptualization of the Experience ............................................ 167

Synthesized Guidance Practice .......................................................................... 169

Composite Depiction ................................................................................................ 170

Expression of Personal Impact ................................................................................. 173

Limitations ...................................................................................................................... 175

Implications and Applications ........................................................................................ 175

Further Research ............................................................................................................. 178

References ............................................................................................................................. 180

Appendixes ................................................................................................................................ 1

Appendix A: Historical Figures ...................................................................................... 200

Appendix B: Researcher’s Self-Reflection Data ........................................................... 203

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Appendix C: Researcher’s Self-Experimentation Methods ........................................... 213

Appendix D: Research Questions ................................................................................... 223

Appendix E: Coresearcher Profiles ................................................................................ 229

Coresearcher 001 Profile .......................................................................................... 229









Appendix F: Coresearcher Letter of Invitation .............................................................. 234

Appendix G: Coresearcher Reply Form ......................................................................... 235

Appendix H: Coresearcher Consent Form ..................................................................... 236

Appendix I: Interview Guidance Procedures ................................................................. 238

Appendix J: Interview Transcripts ................................................................................. 241

Coresearcher 001 Interview Transcript (CR:001) ................................................... 241






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Appendix K: Interview Observation Notes .................................................................... 352

Coresearcher 001 Interview Observation Notes (ION:001) .................................... 352









Appendix L: Tables of Results ....................................................................................... 373

Appendix M: Guidance Experience Semantic Network ................................................ 414

Appendix N: Code Relations Report .............................................................................. 416

Appendix O: Guidance Experience Template (GET) .................................................... 436

Appendix P: Synthesized Conceptualization Flowchart ................................................ 437

Appendix Q: Synthesized Guidance Practice (SGP) ..................................................... 438

Appendix R: Synthesized Guidance Meditation (SGM) ............................................... 452

Appendix S: Guidance Experience Evaluation Checklist ............................................. 454

Appendix T: Definitions and Terms ............................................................................... 457

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LIST OF TABLES

Table Page 1 .................. 28 Typology of Perceived Constructs of a Divine Ultimate Reality

2 Reported Criteria for Authentic and Inauthentic Guidance Experiences ...... 64

3 Coresearcher Traditions and Practices ........................................................... 87

4 Reported Categories and Associated Patterns, Elements, and Forms. ........ 146

5 Reported Factors and Associated Patterns, Elements, and Forms .............. 153

6 Themes and Metaphors of Divine Encounter .............................................. 162

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xv

LIST OF FIGURES

Figure Page 1 I Ching—Order of the Trigrams .................................................................... 48

2 Screenshot of ATLAS.ti Qualitative Content Analysis Program .................. 98

3 Content Coding Diagram.............................................................................. 100

4 Content Memoing Diagram .......................................................................... 101

5 Code Relationship Semantic Networking Diagram ..................................... 102

6 Graphical Concept Semantic Networking Diagram .................................... 103

7 Reported Categories of the Experience ........................................................ 143

8 Reported Categories and Associated Patterns ............................................. 145

9 Reported Factors of the Experience and Related Categories ...................... 148

10 Reported Factors and Associated Patterns ................................................... 150

11 Reported Factors and Categories with Associated Patterns ........................ 151

12 The Guidance Experience Template ............................................................ 154

CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION

I cannot doubt the existence of a guidance, which I dare to call divine —which can so invade one’s soul as to set one’s feet

on wholly untried and unexpected paths. —Joan Mary Fry (1944, p. 145)

Topic of Inquiry

The objective of this research was the exploration of the experience of seeking,

receiving, and following divine guidance. The term “divine,” as it is used in this study,

refers to a perceived Ultimate Reality that is believed to be a sacred source of wisdom and

understanding (Huxley, 1944; Wilber, 1981; Wilson, 1991). This Reality has been

perceived to be “both knowable and mysterious, transcendent and immanent, unchanging

and passionate. . . . [It] may be encountered as a personal, loving God, as impersonal Being,

or as Truth, which is neither being nor non-being. It is a Unity, yet has many

manifestations” (Wilson, 1991, p. 45).

The world’s religious and spiritual traditions perceive this divine Ultimate Reality

in various ways. There is the pantheon of spiritual forces and beings of the Shinto, Taoist,

and Shamanic traditions; the one Divine Being and its host of divine agents and agencies of

Judaism, Christianity, and Islam; the impersonal transcendent Source known as the Tao in

Taoism, Brahman in Hinduism, and Tathata in Buddhism; or an imminent presence, quality

or force variously referred to as the Atman in Hinduism, the Buddha Mind in Buddhism,

the Indwelling Spirit in Christianity, and the Shekhinah in Judaism (Labowitz, 1996; Smith,

1991; Wilson, 1991).

This Ultimate Reality has also been depicted outside the traditional systems of

spirituality and religion as a nondenominational Higher Power like that of the 12 Step

programs (Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976). Many transpersonal theorists have viewed this

Ultimate Reality as a higher, deeper, and/or transpersonal part of the self (Assagioli, 1976;

Wilber, 2000). The metaphors of higher and deeper “are useful, because they . . .

emphasize different aspects of a consciousness that is greater than any

conceptualizations” (Wilber, 2000, p. 110). “The word transpersonal has its etymological

roots in two Latin words: trans, meaning beyond or through, and personal, meaning

mask or façade—in other words, beyond or through the personally identified aspects of

self” (Braud & Anderson, 1998, p. xxi) or our limited ego self, and toward a more

expansive, higher, deeper, and/or greater transpersonal Self. This transpersonal Self has

been theorized as being the ultimate source of our wisdom, a channel for an even higher

source, and/or a simultaneous unitive reality of Self and the Divine (Assagioli, 1976;

Wilber, 2000).

This divine Ultimate Reality, in all its perceived forms, has been reported to be a

source of inspiration, wisdom, guidance, and truth. Most of the world’s religious and

spiritual traditions attribute many of their teachings as coming from a divine source and

have created rituals and practices to enable one to connect with this Reality (Smith, 1991;

Walsh, 1999; Wilson, 1991). Many mystics, saints, artists, philosophers, politicians,

warriors, and scientists throughout human history have claimed to receive guidance from a

divine source (see Appendix A) (Alschuler, 1987, 1993; Hastings, 1991; Hymer, 1990;

Jung, 1961; Van Dusen, 2004). The central topic of this inquiry is this human endeavor to

seek a connection to this divine Source, and to follow and be in harmony with its essence.

Primary Intention and Research Questions

The primary intention of this study has been to explore and map the territory of the

experience of divine guidance. Since this experience, along with most other mystical and

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religious experiences, is generally considered a purely subjective experience (Huxley,

1944; Van Dusen, 1996; Walsh, 1999), the central focus of this inquiry has been on the

“experience” of divine guidance itself. It is not the purpose of this research to attempt to

validate any particular depiction of a perceived divine source, or to try to prove the

existence of said Source, but rather to investigate the nature and structure of this significant

human experience as it is described by those who encounter it.

The primary research question addressed by this inquiry is: What are the

experiential structures, patterns, and qualities of the subjective experience of divine

guidance, as experienced by selected advanced spiritual teachers? Additional questions and

topics of discussion addressed by this inquiry included: Possible contributing factors that

brought on the experience; tools, practices, and techniques used to create the experience;

forms of the communication received in the experience; qualities of the experience

received; the discernment of the meaning and validity of the experience received; the

obstacles to seeking, receiving, and following the experience; the incorporation of the

experience into an individual’s life; surrender as an aspect of the experience; and the effects

or fruits of the experience.

Method of Inquiry

The experience of divine guidance was explored by employing and blending several

qualitative methods of inquiry including heuristic research, spiritual inquiry, semistructured

interviews, and grounded theory based data analysis. The heuristic research method was

primarily used during the preliminary self-inquiry phase of the research to develop the

questions and topics of discussion for the interview phase of the inquiry. The interview

phase of the inquiry consisted of nine semistructured in-depth interviews with 9 advanced

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spiritual teachers and practitioners. During the data treatment phase of the inquiry, the

interview data were analyzed with qualitative content analysis techniques based on the

grounded theory method (Glaser, 1992; Glaser & Straus, 1967; Muhr, 2003). Spiritual

inquiry methods and approaches were employed and blended throughout the entire research

process (see below and Chapter 3 for further details).

The self-inquiry phase of this research included the researcher’s immersion in the

topic of inquiry utilizing a form of heuristic research whereby the researcher becomes the

research instrument by fully living the experience being studied. “The focus of the heuristic

quest is on recreation of the lived experience; full and complete depictions of the

experience from the frame of reference of the experiencing person” (Moustakas, 1990, p.

39). This living of the experience being studied included the researcher’s immersion in the

literature related to the topic of inquiry, combined with the spiritual inquiry procedures of

researcher self-reflection on the topic through the creation of a spiritual autobiography (see

Appendix B), and researcher self-experimentation with the topic through the testing of

various guidance methods and practices (see Appendix C). This self-inquiry process

resulted in a set of questions to be used in the next phase of research (see Appendix D).

The interview phase of the research consisted of semistructured in-depth interviews

with nine advanced spiritual teachers and practitioners (five men and four women) from

seven different spiritual traditions who were questioned in regard to their personal

experiences, perceptions, and understanding of the experience of divine guidance (see

Chapter 3 for further details on the coresearchers and the coresearcher selection process).

The semistructured approach to the interviews included using the questions developed in

the self-inquiry phase as a general guide, while allowing for other questions and comments

4

to emerge organically from the process itself. The interviews were recorded on both video

and audiotape, and researcher observation notes were recorded on audiotape following each

interview. The audiotapes of the interviews and observation notes were transcribed, edited,

and then each coresearcher reviewed the edited transcripts of their interviews.

In the data treatment phase of inquiry, the edited and reviewed transcripts were

entered into the ATLAS.ti qualitative data analysis program (Muhr, 2003) for a thematic

content analysis drawing on the grounded theory approach. This approach is “a general

methodology of analysis . . . that uses a systematically applied set of methods to generate an

inductive theory about a substantive area” (Glaser, 1992, p. 16).

Spiritual inquiry, which is the use of various spiritual practices, approaches, and

techniques as a form of self-inquiry, was employed throughout the entire research process

(Rothberg, 1994; Vaughan & Wittine, 1994). The primary form of spiritual inquiry

employed in this study was the use of researcher self-experimentation with the topic

through the testing of various guidance methods and practices during every phase of

research. This approach was utilized to both deepen the researcher’s understanding of the

topic of inquiry and to capture the experience of divine guidance through the replication of

the conditions under which it has been known to occur. These guidance methods and

practices were also used to guide all aspects of this inquiry including the focusing of the

emerging topic of inquiry, and the choosing of and implementation of the most suitable data

collection and analysis procedures. This research method reflects the fundamental belief

within the fields of transpersonal research and spiritual inquiry that when exploring

exceptional human and mystical experiences, one should choose a method or methods to

accommodate the topic of inquiry (Rothberg, 1994) and “create a research design that

5

closely reenacts, simulates, or generates the experience being studied” (Anderson, 1998, p.

90).

Relevance and Significance

This research has relevance to the fields of transpersonal and spiritual psychology in

that it investigates the relatively unexplored significant spiritual process of the experience

of divine guidance. While a great deal has been written about this topic within specific

traditions and in relation to its various aspects, including the inner voice experience,

channeling, divination, synchronicity, discernment, and the use of guidance in cases of loss

and addiction, research explorations of this topic as a whole, across traditions, are not

significantly represented in the databases of the primary literature of anthropology,

medicine, psychology, religion, and sociology.

The experience of divine guidance is also important to the fields of transpersonal

and spiritual psychology because this experiential connection to and with this Ultimate

Reality is an essential component of most of the world’s religious and spiritual traditions. It

is also considered a core factor in the stimulation, progressive evolution, and sought after

goals involved in spiritual and transpersonal development (Huxley, 1944; Smith, 1991;

Walsh, 1999; Wilber, 1981; Wilson, 1991).

The use of divine guidance methods and practices as an integral part of the creation

and execution of the research project may also prove to be a significant contribution to the

domain of transpersonal research and to the emerging field of spiritual inquiry, which are

both exploring ways to develop research methods that are more in tune with these elusive

realms (Rothberg, 1994). These developing research methods and theories include

Rothberg’s spiritual inquiry (1994); Heron’s lived inquiry (1998); Anderson’s intuitive

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inquiry (1998); Needleman’s science of self-investigation (1976); Weber’s inner

empiricism (1986); Thurman’s inner sciences (1991); Tart’s state-specific sciences (1972);

Deikman’s mysticism as a science (1982); and Wilber’s transcendental inquiry (1983).

This work also has deep personal relevance in that it is a continuation of my own

inner journey. I have been on this journey of “lived inquiry” for many years, trying to

explore and understand the experiences of guidance I have received over the years, and

developing ways of seeking, receiving, and following this profound influence in my own

life. Though I personally believe in an Ultimate Divine Reality, my goal is not to prove the

existence of this ineffable force or being, but to explore and more fully understand my own

and the rest of humanity’s struggle to seek, receive, and follow this perceived fountain of

wisdom and truth.

Content Overview

The subsequent presentation of this inquiry includes four additional chapters

followed by various reference materials. The next chapter, Chapter 2, provides an overview

of the pertinent primary literature related to the experience of divine guidance; Chapter 3

outlines the research methods used during this inquiry; Chapter 4 reports the findings of this

study; and Chapter 5 offers a synthesis and discussion of the findings. Additional reference

material includes a list of references, and various appendixes consisting of a listing of

historical figures who have reported experiences of divine guidance (Appendix A);

researcher self-inquiry reference materials (Appendixes B and C); coresearcher interview

reference materials (Appendixes C-K); data analysis and synthesis reference materials

(Appendixes L-S); and finally, a listing of definitions for some of the topic-specific and

uncommon words and terms referred to in the presentation of this study (Appendix T).

CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW

I would like to pursue . . . a search for God in time and memory. It is a search that will carry us on quests and journeys through life stories,

through hells, purgatories, and heavens, through ages of life, through stories of God.

—John Dunne (1967, p. vii)

A comprehensive review of the empirical and theoretical literature relevant to the

experience of divine guidance has been conducted for this inquiry. Nine primary literature

databases from the fields of anthropology, medicine, psychology, religion, and sociology

were searched for relevant sources (ATLA Religion Database, 1949-2004; Cross-Cultural

Index, 1802-1985; Dissertation Abstracts, 1861-2004; ERIC, 1966-2004; Library of

Congress, 1812-2004; MEDLINE, 1966-2004; Philosopher’s Index, 1940-2004;

PsychINFO, 1840-2004; Sociological Abstracts, 1963-2004). Over 350 primary journal

articles, books, and dissertations obtained from these database searches were then reviewed

and analyzed for significance and relevance to the topic of inquiry.

This extensive search and review revealed that not a single cross-traditional study of

the experience of divine guidance has been reported in the nine primary literature databases

used for this investigation, and only a limited number of inquiries into the experience of

divine guidance within individual traditions were reported. These inquiries into the

experience within individual traditions consisted of analyses of religious narratives, and

biographical and autobiographical accounts of the experience of divine guidance.

While relevant primary literature on the specific experience of divine guidance

appeared to be limited, several studies and theoretical examinations of various elements and

forms of the experience were reported in the primary literature and included in this review

as well. These relevant studies and theoretical examinations of the elements and forms of

the experience have included inquiries into the related experience of calling or vocation;

investigations of various forms of perceived divine communication, including experiences

of an inner voice, channeling, intuition, inspiration, and synchronicity; studies of practices

used to elicit the experience of divine guidance, including divination, the practice of the

presence of the Divine, spiritual exercises, and spiritual guidance; examinations of various

theories and methods of discernment; and research of guidance in cases of loss and

addiction.

These topics are presented in this review in the above order, and are being covered

because they have included some aspect of the experience of seeking, receiving, and

following divine guidance, as defined by this study (see below). While some of the terms

for these topics have often been used to describe the entire guidance experience, their usage

also has tended to either narrowly define that experience, as in the case of channeling

(guidance through intermediaries) and divination (guidance through the interpretation of

signs), or has tended to carry several different meanings, as in the case of discernment

(accessing guidance authenticity; mature judgment; and/or the experience of divine

guidance) and spiritual guidance (guidance assistance offered by others; psychic

counseling; and/or the experience of divine guidance). The term divine guidance has been

used for the purposes of this study because it more clearly represents the entire process of

seeking, receiving, and following guidance from a perceived divine source; and because the

phrase tends to be more inclusive of the various terms and processes that have been

ascribed to the experience in the literature (see below).

9

The Experience of Divine Guidance

I used to walk receptive and silent amidst the beauties of nature.

Wonderful insights would come to me which I then put into practice in my life

—Peace Pilgrim (1982, pp. 76-77)

Most, if not all, of the information on the experience of seeking, receiving, and

following of divine guidance has been reported in the form of a story: Biblical and religious

stories, and biographical and autobiographical accounts. Narrative theologians have noticed

this tendency toward the narrative form in religious and spiritual literature, and have

explored both the reasons for this leaning and methods for fully utilizing this form of

sharing knowledge and understanding.

On the most basic level, a religious or spiritual experience, like that of seeking,

receiving, and following divine guidance, is most often a purely subjective experience: An

intimate moment between an individual mind and something beyond mind (Huxley, 1944;

James, 1961). It is a moment of revelation, “an unveiling or . . . a ‘disclosure.’ It refers to an

event in which a veil is dropped or removed, an event in which that which is masked or

hidden from view is disclosed and made known” (Stroup, 1981, p. 42). The individual

existing in time and space experiences this unveiling temporally, even though it is an

unveiling of a reality perceived to be beyond time and space. This temporal quality of the

experience takes a narrative form because “the formal quality of experience through time is

inherently narrative” (Crites, 1971, p. 291).

In the temporal realm, all things appear to have a beginning, middle, and end: Our

physical existence is made up of the cycles of birth, life, and death; and our awareness of

the world around us is seemingly divided into past, present, and future (Ricoeur, 1991).

10

This temporal conditioning of consciousness tends to result in the dominance of a narrative

perception of our experience of both the inner and outer world (Crites, 1971; Ricoeur,

1991).

This tripartite narrative nature of experience is the same pattern of experience

observed to be inherent in the mythic journey, rituals of initiation, the creative process, and

the sacred stories of the world’s spiritual traditions; it has been found “in the vast, almost

oceanic images of the Orient, in the vigorous narratives of the Greeks, [and] in the

majestic legends of the Bible” (Campbell, 1949, p. 35). One separates from the world and

seeks the divine other; then receives the gift of inspiration, revelation, transformation,

and/or initiation; and then finally returns to the world to make manifest what has been

received (Campbell, 1949; Hymer, 1990).

Michael Cordner (1981) has explored this three-fold aspect of experience as it

related to artistic and religious revelation by comparing spiritual and artistic visions. He has

observed that both of these revelatory experiences followed the three-stage model; Cordner

called these stages: Surrender, revelation, and incorporation. In the reports of religious and

artistic visionary experiences, Cordner noted that both the artists and mystics have appeared

to seek a vision through surrender, receive a revelation, and then follow the revelation by

incorporating its message into a work of art or a way of life (1981).

The terms seeking, receiving, and following have been selected for use in the

present inquiry to represent this commonly observed tripartite nature of the revelatory

experience. This is because these three terms have been noted to occur frequently in a

preliminary analysis of some of the teachings of the worlds spiritual and religious traditions

reviewed for this inquiry.

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Ask, and it will be given you; seek [italics added], and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. —Jesus, 8 BCE-29 CE (Mitchell, 1991, p. 110)

God has scattered His light over all souls; happy are they who have held up their skirts to receive [italics added] it. Those lucky ones don’t look to anything but God; without that skirt of love, we miss our share. —Rumi, 1207-1273 (1994, p. 31)

Look, it cannot be seen . . . . Listen, it cannot be heard . . . . Grasp, it cannot be held . . . . Stand before it and there is no beginning. Follow [italics added] it and there is no end. Stay with the ancient Tao, Move with the present. —Lao-tzu, 6th Century BCE (1972, p. 14)

A significant number of the reviewed narrative accounts of divine guidance in the

literature also revealed this same pattern embedded within many of the descriptions of the

experience.

He arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meal, forty days and forty nights unto Horeb the mount of God [seeking]. And he came . . . unto a cave, and lodged there . . . . And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice [receiving]. And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice unto him and said . . . . “Go, return on thy way to the wilderness . . . and when thou comest, thou shalt anoint . . . [the] king.” [following] —Kings, I:19:8-15 (Cohen, 1985, pp. 138-139)

The heart of our understanding of the experience has come from these stories:

Stories that are told by those who have experienced it; stories told by those who have

witnessed others having the experience; and stories passed down through time from one

generation to the next. These are the biblical and religious stories of divine revelations, and

the biographical and autobiographical accounts of contact with this perceived elusive

Ultimate Reality.

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Biographical and Autobiographical Accounts

My first experience in hearing the Divine Voice came when I was a little child. Sitting on my bed one morning, I fell into a deep reverie. . . . An immense flash of light at once manifested to my inner gaze. Divine shapes of saints, sitting in meditation in mountain caves, formed like miniature cinema pictures on the large screen of radiance within my forehead. “Who are you?” I spoke aloud. “We are the Himalayan yogis.” . . . The Voice was as murmuring clouds. My mother and eldest sister Roma were nearby when I had this early experience, and they too heard the Divine Voice. —Paramahansa Yogananda (1957, pp. 5-7)

Both within and outside of the world’s religious traditions, history is replete with

case after case of individuals who have reported experiences of divine contact in which

they sought, received, and followed guidance. Many of these historical figures are well

known, and have profoundly influenced our world. They have included the mystics and

saints who have told of celestial visions and intimate contact with a divine source; the

artists, poets, scientists, and philosophers who have reported receiving inspiration from

forces beyond themselves; the politicians, rulers, and warriors who have claimed to have

been guided and influenced by a higher source; and the many ordinary individuals,

communities, and societies who have reportedly based decisions, great and small, on the

whispers of this elusive and other-worldly guidance (Alschuler, 1987, 1993; Hastings,

1991; Hymer, 1990).

The Greek philosopher Socrates, educator and agricultural innovator George

Washington Carver, General George Patton, Winston Churchill, Mohandas Gandhi, Martin

Luther King, Jr., Saint Frances, and English poet and painter William Blake all have

claimed to have received divine guidance and inspiration (Alschuler, 1987, 1993; Hastings,

1991; Jung, 1961; Van Dusen, 2004). See Appendix A for an expanded list of historical

figures who have claimed to receive divine guidance.

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A significant number of these individual historical accounts have been of

individuals who have been deemed sane, and even brilliant and masterful by many of their

peers. Some of these individuals have brought profound gifts to humanity while claiming to

have experienced guidance. These historical accounts have included the autobiographies

and biographies of individuals, and reports from others who have witnessed and observed

these encounters. These biographical and autobiographical accounts of guidance are from

individuals across many different cultures, traditions, and domains of influence.

What is the purpose, do you suppose, of these inspirations—or, more correctly, of these aspirations—which I have described, and of these messages which are sent by the soul from its innermost centre to the folk outside the Castle and to the Mansions which are outside that in which it is itself dwelling? Is it to send them to sleep? No, no, no. —Teresa of Avila (1588/1961, p. 230)

The purpose and lessons of these experiences of divine guidance, as reported by

those who have sought, received, and followed it, have been perceived to be the

advancement of personal, interpersonal, communal, societal, and/or species wide growth

and evolution (Alschuler, 1987, 1993; Hastings, 1991; Steiner, 1991; Underhill, 1961). The

following studies have explored some of these experiences and their perceived effects and

influence.

An Historical Study of the Experiences of Mystics

Evelyn Underhill (1961), in her classic historical study, Mysticism: A Study in the

Nature and Development of Man’s Spiritual Consciousness, explored these historical

accounts from the writings of mystics from different cultures and traditions. The results of

her study included the discernment of five stages of spiritual growth and development along

the mystic path or the “Mystic Way,” which includes the experience of divine guidance

(Underhill, 1961). The stages that Underhill uncovered were: Awakening, Purgation,

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Illumination, Purification, and Union (1961). Underhill observed that religious and mystical

experiences, including experiences of divine guidance, were both the means by which these

stages were experienced and the end result of the inner work that was the core of the

journey itself. Additionally, she noted that individual religious or mystical experiences

appeared to be qualitatively distinct, varying in qualities of awakening, purgation,

illumination, purification, and unity.

In the stage of Awakening, an individual answers a call for the self to awaken to

Divine Being. In Purgation, one must consciously do the inner work to remove all the

obstacles to a connection with the Divine. In the stage of Illumination, the self achieves a

certain level of communication with the Divine that includes experiences of divine

guidance. Through the stage of Purification (the dark night of the soul or spiritual

emergency) the Divine acts upon the self to purge it of all the obstacles it could not release

by its own strength and volition. Finally Union is achieved, in which the self achieves a

constant state of communication or communion with the divine Ultimate Reality. The stage

of Union appears to be one in which an individual’s words and actions flow naturally out of

the divine state, or in other words, a continual state of divine guidance. Underhill observed

two different ways people experience this ultimate divine guidance state:

(1) The metaphysical mystic, for whom the Absolute is impersonal and transcendent, describes his final attainment of that absolute as deification, or utter transmutation of the self in God. (2) The mystic for whom intimate and personal communion has been the mode under which he best apprehended Reality, speaks of the consummation of this communion, its perfect and permanent form, as the Spiritual Marriage of his soul with God. (1961, p. 415)

While the goal of the “Mystic Way,” as observed in Underhill’s study, appears to be

a state of constant communication with the divine Ultimate Reality, Underhill also noted

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experiences of divine guidance occurring throughout all five stages. Most significantly,

guidance seemed to occur within the first stage of Awakening in which the Self is called

and guided by the Divine towards awakening; within the third stage of Illumination when

the self achieves an increased ability to seek, receive, and follow divine guidance; and

within the final stage of Union where the self achieves a constant state of guidance through

union (Underhill, 1961).

Underhill’s study also focused specifically on the nature of divine communication

reported in the accounts of the mystics, and delineates between direct soul communication

or communion, and automatisms or hallucinations of the senses (1961). Three categories of

automatisms, or perceived divine communications of the senses, were reported: Auditions

or voices, visions, and automatic writing. Underhill noted three types of auditions: An

“immediate” or inarticulate voice, a distinct interior voice, and an exterior voice. Three

types of visions were also reported: Intellectual or elusive and formless visions, imaginary

or distinct interior visions, and corporeal or exterior visions. Imaginary visions appeared to

manifest in either symbolic or personal forms.

While Underhill noted that some mystics viewed automatisms as possible

distractions, she observed a significant tendency for these communications of the senses to

impart superior information and guidance, and provide positive stimulation for growth on

the mystical path (1961).

Those visions and voices which are the media by which the “seeing self” truly approaches the Absolute; which are the formulae under which ontological perceptions are expressed; are found by that self to be sources of helpful energy, charity, and courage. They infuse something new in the way of strength, knowledge, and direction; and leave it—physically, mentally, or spiritually—better than they found it. (Underhill, 1961, p. 270)

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The Case of Joseph Caro

Rabbi Joseph ben Ephraim Caro (or Karo) (1488-1575) is considered to be one of

Judaism’s greatest scholars, codifiers, and interpreters of Jewish law, as well as one of the

tradition’s most celebrated mystics. Caro attributed his renowned brilliance to the guidance

of a maggid, “a spirit which brought revelation” (Jacobs, 1977, p. 122). Caro’s maggid

came in the form of the spirit of Judaism’s sacred oral law, the Mishnah, and his

experiences have imparted the idea that divine guidance can be received from the spirit of

sacred teachings themselves. Caro’s revelations were recorded in his secret diary (Caro,

1646/1990) and often witnessed by others.

While Caro was bent over the sacred texts in the tense silence of the night, searching for hidden meanings of obscure passages in the Bible, Talmud [the body of Judaic civil and ceremonial law and legend], and codes, the voice introduced itself in terse stark words, uttered by the rabbi’s own lips. . . . “I am the Mishnah [the oral law] . . . you should know,” murmured the voice, “that it is I, the Mishnah, who articulates now within your mouth. . . . Within me is the true wisdom. . . . I am the Soul of the Mishnah, for I, the Mishnah, and you are one. You will always revert to study me without distracting yourself for an instant. I shall always accompany you, and forsake you neither in this world nor in the world to come. . . . Let my words be distinct in your mouth.” (Gordon, 1949, p. 200)

Psychiatric researcher Dr. Hirsch Gordon (1949) performed a psychoanalytic

historical case study of Rabbi Caro using Caro’s diary and the biographical reports of

contemporaries of Caro who claimed to witness some of his experiences of divine

guidance. As part of his case study, Gordon also created a personality profile by analyzing

historical documents concerning Caro’s personal and family history, economic status,

education, and religious life. The results of this extensive personality profile suggest that

Caro appeared to have above average intelligence and knowledge; he displayed superior

judgment and foresight in both his personal life and in his contributions to Judaic

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scholarship; he was viewed by his peers as an insightful, wise, honest, and conscientious

man of God; and his writings revealed a high level of intellectual and spiritual

understanding and wisdom, and healthy levels self-esteem and self-pride devoid of

arrogance (Gordon, 1949).

Gordon extended his analysis to determine if Caro had displayed any discernable

signs of mental illness and found no evidence for the typical psychiatric conditions often

associated with visual and auditory hallucinations. Further analysis of Caro’s guidance

experiences showed that they followed the patterns of Judaic biblical prophecy and were

not radically deviant from the culturally acceptable experiences of religious ecstasy

common to the Middle Ages (Gordon, 1949). Though Gordon had concluded that Caro’s

experiences of divine guidance were not of a psychotic nature and offered superior

information (Alschuler, 1987), he could not confirm nor deny that Caro’s experiences with

the Maggid were authentic communications with a source beyond Caro’s own unconscious

mind.

The Case of Emanuel Swedenborg

Emanuel Swedenborg (1688-1772), Swedish scientist, philosopher, and theologian,

was world renowned for his breadth of understanding and ability in all spheres of human

knowledge. After becoming an expert in all the then known physical sciences, Swedenborg

turned his trained eye on the world of the spirit and became conversant with spirits and

angels in the latter part of his life. He became well known for his ability to foresee the

future and speak with the dead, and many dignitaries and members of royalty sought his

guidance, and the wisdom he purportedly received from the spirits and angels of the Divine

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about the nature of Ultimate Reality and the transformation of the human spirit (Van Dusen,

1972, 2004).

An angel, out of his wisdom, described the process of regeneration and presented mysteries about it in their proper sequence, amounting to a hundred. He filled out each single mystery with concepts containing even deeper mysteries, and did this from beginning to end, explaining how the spiritual person is conceived anew; is carried in the womb, so to speak; is born; matures; and is gradually perfected. —Emanuel Swedenborg (1758/2000, p. 224)

Like an explorer into uncharted territories, Swedenborg entered the world of the

spirit and attempted to bring back its gifts to share with the world, creating volumes of

material describing the realm of the divine Ultimate Reality. Clinical psychologist and

researcher Wilson Van Dusen (1972, 1973, 2004) spent years studying Swedenborg’s

volumes of writings, analyzing both the reported experiences of divine guidance and the

information they produced. He found that Swedenborg, like Joseph Caro, was a highly

regarded and influential individual who showed no significant signs of mental illness and

yet appeared to attain superior information, guidance, and knowledge from his reported

encounters with spirit (Van Dusen, 2004).

I am well aware that many will say that no one can possibly speak with spirits and angels so long as he lives in the body; and many will say that it is all a phantasy, others that I relate such things in order to gain credence, and others will make other objections. But by all this I am not deterred, for I have seen, I have heard, I have felt. —Emanuel Swedenborg (Van Dusen, 2004, p. 64)

Van Dusen extended his research by comparing detailed accounts of the

hallucinations of clinical psychiatric patients to Swedenborg’s descriptions of the world of

spirit (1973, 2004). This comparative analysis showed significant correlations between the

clinical data and Swedenborg’s descriptions of the presence of spirits in madness, his

differentiation between “higher” and “lower” orders of spirits, and his contention that the

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human experience “involves an interaction with a hierarchy of spirits” (Van Dusen, 2004,

p. 117). These results, when combined with the reports of a great number of Swedenborg’s

contemporaries who witnessed his paranormal abilities, brought Van Dusen to the

conclusion that the psychological and spiritual findings of Swedenborg’s divinely guided

inner research displays a high degree of superior information, internal coherence, and

external verifiability (2004).

Religious Narratives

Stories have power. The Kalahari Desert Bushmen believe

that their stories contain their soul as a people. —Richard Morgan (1996, p. 20)

Some of the oldest accounts of the experience of divine guidance have come to us in

the form of the religious narrative. The power of religious narratives has been tied to their

claims of being both true mythically, “beyond and before and outside of time,” and

historically, “in and through time and history” (Goldberg, 1981, p. 60). Biblical and

religious narratives are “stories seen not only as being true portrayals of past events, but

also understood as ringing true to certain common features of human existence, and thereby

serving as paradigms of the way that such existence might be sustained and transformed”

(Goldberg, 1981, p. ix). In this way, the biblical and religious accounts of guidance can be

seen as both accounts of the experience and as hidden road maps to the same destination.

Divine Guidance in the Israelite Traditions

God went before them by day with a pillar of cloud, to guide them along the way. By night, it appeared as a pillar of fire, providing them with light. They could thus travel by day and night. The pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire at night never left . . . the people. (Exodus 13:21-22)

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In Divine Presence and Guidance in Israelite Traditions, biblical scholar Thomas

Mann (1975) used a form of biblical exegesis to study the pattern of reports of the

experience of Divine presence and guidance within the Old Testament. Mann has noted a

high incidence of these reports within the text of the Old Testament, and has observed a

general motif throughout these biblical reports of the Divine having led and/or guided

humanity through various forms of experience: Prior to the story of Exodus, the Divine is

reported to have communicated mostly to individuals through various auditory and visual

manifestations that includes the appearance of angels and the revelation of dreams; once the

story of exodus begins, guidance appears to have been given to the Israelites as a group

through communal auditory and visual forms, both directly and indirectly through the

intermediary personage of Moses. In all of these narrative reports, the Divine has been

portrayed as a force that seeks to lead and guide the individual and community toward a

better and/or more enlightened existence (Mann, 1975).

And God said, I have seen assuredly the affliction of my people . . . and I am come down to deliver them out of the hand of bondage, and to bring them up out of that land unto a good and spacious land, unto a land flowing with milk and honey. (Exodus 3:7-8)

Mann compared the biblical reports of communal guidance from Exodus to the

typology of exaltation found in ancient Near Eastern materials from Mesopotamia and

Egypt (1975). This typology of exaltation included “the political ascendancy of a human

leader [who] is correlated with the theological supremacy of a particular deity” (1975, p. i).

Dominant within this typology is a particular motif called the vanguard motif in which “the

god(s) go in front of the human devotee, whether in historical battles or in liturgical

precessions” (p. i).

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I will send an angel before you to safeguard you on the way, and bring you to the place that I have prepared. Be careful in his presence and heed his voice. Do not rebel against him, since My name is with him. (Exodus 23:20-21)

Mann has concluded that the Old Testament reports of Divine presence and

guidance in the story of Exodus share the essential qualities and patterns of the above

mentioned Near Eastern typology of exaltation and the vanguard motif. Mann has noted

that while these patterns have been adapted to conform to the unique nature of the

Israelites’ journey through the wilderness and “the position of Israel within the typology”

(1975, p. ii), the similarities in the patterns between the biblical and Near Eastern accounts

have suggested that these forms of individual and communal experiences of divine

guidance were not unique to the Old Testament Israelite traditions, and were a possible

indication of more common patterns of the experience.

Divine Guidance in Luke and Acts

The Lord said to him, “Arise and go to the street called Straight, and inquire at the house of Judas for one called Saul of Tarsus . . . for he is a chosen vessel of Mine to bear My name before Gentiles, kings, and the children of Israel.” (Acts, 9:11-15)

Another typology or pattern of the experience of divine guidance that has been

studied by Western biblical scholars is the commissioning narrative or the prophetic call

narrative, in which there is a command or task perceived to be given to a person by the

Divine. Several biblical studies of both the Old and New Testaments have reported this

consistent literary pattern with its various elements and themes (Hubbard, 1974; Kelly,

1998; Mullins, 1976).

One of these studies, Kelly’s (1998) Divine Guidance in Luke-Acts has provided an

extensive overview of this pattern as it appears throughout biblical literature while also

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presenting an in-depth analysis of this pattern as it manifests in Luke and Acts. Kelly has

reported that the commissioning narrative, as it appears throughout both the Old and New

Testaments, consists of the three-part essential structure of confrontation, commission, and

reassurance. Kelly also has observed six formal elements within this three-part structure:

(1) An introduction providing a specific setting for the encounter; (2) an encounter or confrontation of a divine messenger to a human agent; (3) a response on the part of the human agent, typically an expression of fear or an objection to the commission; (4) the commission itself, in which the divine agent set forth a specific task for the recipient; (5) a reassurance given to the human agent, typically a promise of divine presence; and finally, (6) a conclusion to the encounter that relayed the human agent’s intention to carry out the commission. (1998, pp. 30-31, italics in original)

Kelly has noted that in addition to this reported biblical structure of the experience

of divine guidance, the commissioning narrative also manifests in various general forms,

which have included divine commissions that promote the advancement of society;

commissions that provide deliverance; commissions to write; and commissions to become a

disciple (1998). In the specific case of Luke and Acts, Kelly has observed that the

commissioning narrative reveals the plan of God through the four phases of announcement,

initiation, realization, and undefeated opposition, while displaying a unifying motif of both

theological and narrative concordance within the narrative of Luke and Acts, and

corresponding commissioning narratives throughout the rest of the biblical texts (1998).

The above patterns of divine guidance that have been noted in the biblical literature

by Kelly and Mann, suggest that the experience of divine guidance, as it is represented in

the Old and New Testaments, has included both individual and communal forms of divine

guidance; that the content of these forms of divine guidance was often in the form of

commands and/or directions for the individuals or groups to follow; and that the intention

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behind these divine promptings appeared to be for some higher purpose or greater good

(Kelly, 1998; Mann, 1975).

The Experience of Calling

Not only the thirsty seek the water, but the water seeks the thirsty as well.

—Rumi (1273/1940, #1-1741)

The commissioning narrative, or the experience of being called by the Divine,

reported in religious narratives also has appeared in a variety of forms in a significant

number of the historical biographical and autobiographical accounts, as well as in more

recent studies (Bogart, 1992, 1994). This divine call or invitation, which often marks the

beginning of the process of experiencing divine guidance, has been reported to manifest in

the form of a deep psychological trauma or essential wound (Firman & Gila, 1997); a

threatening physical crisis or illness (Bogart, 1994; James, 1961); or through various types

of mystical and religious experiences (Eliade, 1957; James, 1961; Sobosan, 1985).

It is Love calling to love: and the journey, though in one sense a hard pilgrimage, up and out, by the terraced moment and the ten heavens to God, in another is the inevitable rush of the roving comet caught at last, to the central sun. . . . Like gravitation, it inevitably compels . . . every spirit to its own place. (Underhill, 1961, p. 133)

In many traditions the call of the Divine is perceived to come in the form of a

singular event or a succession of invitations; it is also perceived to come in response to a

conscious or unconscious seeking of it, or as a perceived spontaneous and unsought after

experience (see below). It has been reported to be as gentle and quiet as a whisper or as

powerful as a great storm; producing a full range of emotions from joy to terror, and

responses of either embrace or resistance (Eliade, 1957). It is also considered each persons’

choice whether to answer the call or not: “We are not forced but invited to listen to it. We

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may ignore the invitation, . . . refusing the dialogue it would initiate within us” (Sobosan,

1985, p. 126).

For Jewish philosopher and theologian Martin Buber (1958), this is the call of the

Big Will to the little will; and for transpersonal psychology pioneer Roberto Assagioli, it is

the call of the transpersonal will to the personal will (Assagioli, 1976; Bogart, 1994).

Assagioli explored this process deeply and theorized that this call is mediated through an

authentic unifying center, which acts as a “true link, a point of connection between the

personal man and his higher Self” (1976, p. 25). The authentic unifying center is the

channel through which “we feel called or invited by the empathic other to express our true

selves” (Firman & Gila, 1997, p. 196).

Accounts of religious experiences often speak of a “call” from God, or a “pull” from some Higher Power; this sometimes starts a “dialogue” between the man [or woman] and this “Higher Source,” in which each alternatively invokes and evokes the other. (Assagioli, 1973, p. 114)

Jung (1960) viewed this higher Source that calls us as “a construct that serves to

express an unknowable essence which we cannot grasp as such, because by definition, it

transcends our powers of comprehension. It might equally be called the ‘god within us’”

(Jung, 1960, p. 399). Whitmont (1987) calls this higher Source, the Guidance Self, and

believes that “transformation and healing are brought about by being moved and touched

by, and by striving to actualize . . . the significance of the transpersonal or archetypal

elements that arise from the Guidance Self” (p. 4). More traditional, psychologically based

theories have included the idea that this Source may be a disconnected part of our own

mind (Jaynes, 1976); the product of an internalization of parent images; or transference of

the religious experiences espoused by scripture (Argyle, 1990).

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William James (1961), in his classic work The Varieties of Religious Experience,

observed that many individuals who recounted experiences of calling, as well as most other

religious experience, reported having “a feeling of objective presence, a perception of what

we may call ‘something there,’ more deep and more general than any of the special and

particular ‘senses’” (1961, p. 62). James also noted that this sense of “something there”

appeared to call the individual to seek it, and that in some individuals this call manifested as

or led to the religious experience of “conversion.”

To be converted, to be regenerated, to receive grace, to experience religion, to gain assurance, are so many phrases which denote the process, gradual or sudden, by which a self hitherto divided, and consciously wrong inferior and unhappy, becomes unified and consciously right superior and happy, in consequence of its firmer hold upon religious realities. (James, 1961, p. 160)

For the spiritual and religious traditions of the world, the source of this calling is the

divine Ultimate Reality, as it is perceived within each tradition (Wilson, 1991). While each

tradition usually has a central perception or construct of this Source, they also often have

constructs for additional forms through which the Source appears to manifest itself. An

example of this variation within a tradition would be the Christian systems perception of the

holy trinity of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, along with a host of angels, saints, and

spirits (Smith, 1991; Wilson, 1991).

Andrew Wilson (1991), along with a team of 40 theologians, scholars, and spiritual

leaders, analyzed the sacred writings of 76 different spiritual traditions for common patterns

of perception and experience. Twenty-one major categories and 183 common themes

emerged from this review, along with the development of a seven part typology of the

constructs or images of the Ultimate Reality perceived by these traditions (Wilson, 1991).

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The seven perceived constructs of an Ultimate Reality within this typology include

the perception of the Divine as a personal God; as impersonal transcendent being; as

immanent being or nonbeing; an ultimate blessed state; a pantheon of beings; a divine

manifestation of the founder of the tradition; or a manifestation of divine or eternal law

(Wilson, 1991). Wilson and his colleagues found that most of the traditions examined in

their study incorporated several of these seven perceived constructs or images of Ultimate

Reality within their lexicon of perception and understanding (see Table 1). They also

observed that many of the attributes these traditions associated with this Ultimate Reality

were perceived to manifest in each of the different constructs or images of this Ultimate

Reality.

For example, the goodness of God can be understood in any of these seven images: the loving kindness of the personal God, the impersonal beneficence of Heaven, the absolute bliss of Nirvana, the solidarity of the kami for the promotion of beauty and purity, or the compassionate nature of Reality as revealed in the compassion of the Buddha. (Wilson, 1991, p. 46)

From this perspective, the findings of this study suggest that any experience of this

Reality, such as the experience of divine guidance, appears to be experienced through each

of the seven perceived forms of this Ultimate Reality in a variety of different ways. Each

construct or image of Ultimate Reality appears to both reflect and influence the perception

of that Reality within each tradition, while the use of several constructs in each tradition

appears to offer a broader capacity for both the awareness and experience of this perceived

Reality.

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Table 1

Seven Part Typology of Perceived Constructs or Images of a Divine Ultimate Reality Construct of Ultimate Reality Form and Tradition Personal God God or Godhead in Judaism, Christianity, Sikhism,

and theistic traditions of Hinduism

Impersonal Transcendent Being Brahman in Hinduism, Tao in Taoism, Suchness (Tathata) in Buddhism

Immanent Being or Non-Being Indwelling Spirit in Christianity, Atman in Hinduism, Buddha Mind in Buddhism

Ultimate Blessed State Nirvana in Buddhism, Samadhi in Hinduism

Pantheon of Beings Taoist deities, Shinto kami, Native American spirits

Divine Manifestations of Founder Eternal Buddha in Buddhism, Cosmic Christ in Christianity

Eternal Law Hindu Dharma, Taoism’s Tao, Buddhist Dhamma, Judaism’s Torah, The Word (Logos) in Christianity

Note. From Wilson, 1991. A sampling of some of the forms within various traditions related to the seven types of constructs or images of a perceived divine Ultimate Reality.

Additionally, these various forms of the Divine are often perceived by their

respective traditions as being sources of wisdom and truth; and that this perceived Source is

something to be sought, as well as being something that is seeking us. In this way the

experience of calling can be seen as both a call from this Source to the seeker, and also the

call within the seeker of an inherent longing or drive for a connection to this Source (Smith,

1976; Wilson, 1991). Wilber (1980) has suggested that this drive toward this perceived

Source is an intrinsic developmental drive and postulates that human “development is

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evolution; evolution is transcendence; and transcendence has as its final goal Atman, or

ultimate Unity Consciousness . . . . All drives are subset of that Drive, all wants a subset of

that want, all pushes a subset of that Pull” (Wilber, 1980, p. ix). Answering the “call” of

this “drive” has been perceived to manifest in different ways, including the receiving and

following of a divine task or commission, the awakening to one’s true life purpose or

vocation, and/or following one’s true life path or dharma (Bogart, 1994).

Some call such experiences instances of revelation or discovering life’s purpose. Others call them instances of receiving a message from God or from the unconscious. In the religious traditions of India, these experiences are known as the discovery of dharma, one’s appropriate path in the world. In Western religious tradition, this experience was called the reception of a vocation, a calling. Its centrality was evident in the experience of prophets, such as Moses, Daniel, Jeremiah, John the Baptist, and Mohammed, who felt themselves called by God to take up a specific mission. (Bogart, 1994, p. 11)

Bogart, in his studies on calling (Bogart, 1992, 1994, 1995), explored the question

of the experience of calling in relation to a sense of vocation or life’s calling. Through

historical analysis, he observed that many people throughout human history have

experienced a sense of being called to a certain way of life. As part of his studies, Bogart

conducted in-depth interviews with 15 individuals who reported having “significant

experiences of discovering a life calling through a mystical and/or transpersonal

experience” (1992, p. 129).

Bogart analyzed the qualitative data collected from the interviews, as well as data

from life-story questionnaires, and identified the experience of calling or vocation as having

three basic operative levels of experience: Societal, individual, and transpersonal (1992).

The findings also included the observation of eight major narrative themes of the

experience reported by the participants: Preparation, illumination, development,

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confirmation, interpersonal issues, problems/pitfalls, spiritual/transpersonal dimensions,

and meaning and implications (1992). Additionally, the discovery of a sense of calling or

vocation, as reported by this study, appeared to be viewed as a “critical episode” in the

individual’s life experience “that leads in many cases to major transformations of identity”

(1992, p. vi).

In relation to the experience of divine guidance, Bogart’s study of the experience of

calling suggests that the finding of one’s life purpose and calling can be experienced as a

form of guidance received from an encounter with a perceived divine Ultimate Reality

through a mystical and/or religious experience. Through some form of preparation or

seeking, an individual can appear to receive an illumination that makes them aware of the

calling of a life purpose, direction or vacation, and then follow the guidance of that

illumination to a perceived richer and fuller life.

Forms of Divine Communication

Muhammad was in the habit of retiring to a cave in Mount Hira . . . . Many was the time . . . that he clearly heard the words “Peace be on thee, O apostle of Allah” . . . . When he was in his fortieth year and alone in the cave there came to him an angel in the form of a man. (Burns, 1994, p. 10)

Many different forms of divine communication have been reported throughout the

literature. These reportedly received forms of divine communication include voices,

visions, dreams, channeling, intuition, inspiration, synchronistic events, inner knowing-

ness, a felt-sense, energetic awareness, oracular and divinatory information, and external

signs and wonders (Alschuler, 1987; Bogart, 1994; Hastings, 1991; Ochs & Olitzky, 1997;

Underhill, 1961). While the reportedly received forms of guidance are numerous, only a

select few of these forms have been significantly studied and reported about in the primary

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literature. These significant forms include the experience of the inner voice, channeling,

intuition, inspiration, and synchronicity.

Inner Voice

The term “inner voice” refers to a significant subjective experience—the actual perception of a voice speaking internally and/or a vaguer “felt sense” of some inner communication. Just as the external voice communicates between one human being and another, the inner voice may communicate intra-psychically between one level of the psyche and another. (Heery, 1989, p. 74)

One of the most commonly reported forms of divine communication is the

experience of hearing an inner voice. Alfred Alschuler (1987, 1993) performed an

extensive historical analysis of the nature of the inner voice experience through a study of

the lives of well-known and influential historical figures within the past 2,000 years who

claimed to have had these experiences. Alschuler eventually “found about 150 men and

women over the last two millennia who were sufficiently noteworthy to be remembered,

representing a dozen religious traditions and countries” (1993, p. 182). He established five

primary research questions: “Who hears? What is it like to hear an inner voice? What do

inner voices say? What happens to people if they listen for a long time? . . . Does anything

of lasting value result?” (p. 182). Among those he studied were prophets, saints,

revolutionary priests, scientific geniuses, military geniuses, philosophers, and poets.

I searched for answers in the lives of people who heard inner voices—sane, graceful, and loving individuals whose contributions to society were so clear that the chorus of their accomplishments would drown out the popular belief that hearing an inner voice automatically means you are crazy or satanic. (Alschuler, 1993, p. 182)

Alschuler found that “hearing an inner voice is not a particularly rare event” (1993,

p. 182); the voices tend to be internal; hearers most often experience inner voices as not

their own; and hearers tend to believe their voices are superior, offering superior

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information, superior inspiration, and superior authorization (1987, 1993). A positive

experience was reported by 90% of the people who experienced it. Alschuler also noted the

disturbing case history of Adolf Hitler, whose inner voice experiences fit all the criteria, yet

led to horrific consequences for humanity. He concluded that although there are cases of

psychotic experiences of inner voices, “hearing an inner, other, superior voice is not, by

itself, psychotic” (1987, p. 11). This case and others like it have highlighted the central

issue of discernment, which is discussed in detail further on in this chapter.

Additionally, Alschuler has observed that the inner voice appears to be an inner

teacher, whose mission, if listened to and followed, seems to be a transcendent education

process in which the individual is helped to “break the stubborn habits of a lifetime” and

“to perform at levels seemingly beyond” themselves (Alschuler, 1993, p. 187). He also

observed four phases of this transcendent education process: contact, self-transcendence,

union, and worldly missions of unification (1993).

The scope of this study is extensive, and the researcher’s thoughts and reasoning are

clear and well communicated. The limitations of the study include the admission that the

researcher proved what he had hoped to prove, and the briefness of the presentations, which

was due to limitations of journal and book chapter restrictions. More information about the

research approach and a more detailed account of the research process, including more in-

depth examples from participants’ lives, would have added a great deal to this study. Many

of Alschuler’s participants had reported other forms of divine communication besides inner

voices, which suggested that the patterns of connecting with the guidance of an inner

teacher may not be limited to inner voice experiences (1993).

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In an article in the Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, Myrtle Heery (1989)

describes her exploratory study on inner voice experiences. Her research method included

case studies in which 30 participants who reported having inner voice experiences were

interviewed. These participants were selected out of 50 respondents from a questionnaire.

Heery also administered the Thematic Apperception Test (TAT) and gathered demographic

data from all 30 participants.

The researcher and a colleague analyzed the demographic, TAT, and interview data

to discover natural groupings of experience. Three categories of inner voice experience

emerged: “Inner voice experiences as a fragmented part of the self”; “inner voice

experiences categorized by dialogue providing guidance for growth of the individual”; and

“inner voice experiences where channels opened toward and beyond higher self” (Heery,

1989, p. 77). An analysis of the demographic data revealed that a majority of the

participants had a college education (93%) and were interested in both psychological

development and spirituality. Seventy percent of the participants practiced meditation, and

76% were involved in psychotherapy. Additional analyses of the interviews revealed that

most reported inner voice experiences occurred between the ages of 35 and 45 years.

In the researcher’s interpretation of her findings, she has noted parallels between

this age-specific tendency and Jung’s theory that midlife is a significant time for

individuation (Jung, 1971). She also found parallels between the three categories of inner

voice experience and Assagioli’s outline of three reactions to spiritual awakening

(Assagioli, 1986): Inner voice experiences as fragmented parts of the self, failing to bring

about a higher level of organization; inner voice experiences providing guidance for the

growth of the individual, temporally neutralizing the personality, and introducing direction

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and purpose; and inner voice experiences where channels open to the higher self, leading to

a higher integration of the personality (Heery, 1989). In addition, Heery has suggested that

the findings point to an ongoing inner education process that corresponds to Alschuler’s

theory of transcendent education.

Heery has concluded that this study points toward a wider range of interpretations

of the inner voice experience than those previously held by the psychotherapeutic

community. Since the participants were psychologically healthy and stable individuals, this

study also showed that inner voice experiences were not only the prerogative of psychotics,

but appeared in normal individuals and spiritual mystics as well. The strength of this study

lies in these two factors. The methodology of Heery’s research seemed strong and

appropriate, the sample size was good, the data analyses were clear and concise, and the

researcher’s interpretations were sound.

Both Heery (1989) and Alschuler (1987, 1993) have offered impressive

observations and findings that pointed to the existence of inner voice experiences, and

certain qualities and patterns of the experience. Both studies also demonstrated that this

experience has occurred in healthy normal individuals, artists, and saints, as well as in cases

of psychosis.

Channeling

What is currently called channeling has existed since the beginning of recorded history. The process is one in which information, creative works, and personal guidance come to our minds from a source outside our own selves. The individual’s mind seems to act as a receiver for another communicator . . . the process has been called prophecy, oracle, revelation, spirit communication, possession, and the inspiration of the muses. (Hastings, 1991, p. xi)

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While the term channeling has been used to cover a wide range of guidance

experiences, it has usually been most associated with guidance experiences whose

“message is directed toward an audience” (Hastings, 1991, p. 4). These experiences include

automatic writing, inner dictation, inner voice, trance speaking, sleep channeling, dream

channeling, conscious channeling, psychic channeling (clairaudient and clairvoyant),

physical channeling (materializations, levitation, poltergeist activity), and divination

(Hastings, 1991; Klimo, 1998). The reported sources of this form of guidance include gods

and deities, angels, spiritual figures and advanced masters (the Holy Spirit, saints, living

humans, etc.), energies and forces, extraterrestrials, discarnate teachers, nature (devas,

dolphins, plant spirits, etc.), and the spirits of deceased humans (Hastings, 1991, pp. 158-

159). Several studies have been done on this topic (Barrett, 1996; Hughes, 1992; Hughes &

Melville, 1990), most notably two extensive studies on the phenomena of channeling by

Hastings (1991) and Klimo (1998).

Hastings’ (1991) book, With the Tongues of Men and Angels, is a study of the

phenomena currently called channeling “from ancient times to now, from the content of the

messages to the psychology of the process. It asks the questions: What is the nature of

channeling? [and] What is the significance of channeling for us?” (1991, p. xi). The

research method included interviews with people who channeled, and analyses of historical

cases and the “thousands of pages of books, poems, sermons, and teachings that have been

channeled.” Hastings analyzed information for content and purpose, for psychological,

creative, and spiritual aspects, and performed an evaluation of the “possibility that the

sources are nonphysical beings or spirits” (p. xi) in light of psychical research. The

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researcher also analyzed different models and theories of channeling, and applied them to

case histories and channeled materials.

The findings of this study included a survey of major subjects and forms taken,

consistent patterns and characteristics of the messages, the range of reported sources, and

reported techniques. Hastings found that channeling is not an aberration, and has been

active throughout all recorded human history. He also observed that the experience of

channeling has had a significant influence on religious, political, and social systems and

events, through the oracles and the individuals and groups who sought their perceived

divinely inspired guidance.

They have led to the colonization of the Mediterranean area, founded one religion with 880 million followers and contributed essential elements to several others, enabled military victories in the ancient and medieval worlds, affected local decisions, and influenced public beliefs and values in many cultures including virtually the entire Western world. (Hastings, 1991, p. 198)

This study also revealed the types of social conditions in which channeling had

significant impact, and the undeniable positive impact and contributions it has had on

personal lives. Hastings included an analysis of the perils and risks involved, taking into

account negative cases as well (psychotics, Hitler, and others). The researcher noted that

although some channeled material is truly profound and incredible, most of the large

volume of channeled works are less than perfect (1991).

The researcher concluded that “channeling is natural in human experience and, even

more, it has made desirable, positive contributions. Channeling is of service to humanity. It

is a contact point between human personality and a source or sources that can be

transcendent, wise, practical, and inspirational” (Hastings, 1991, p. 203). While there has

been no evidence as to the actual Source, the experience appears to be real and its benefits

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extensive, including the benefits of receiving information and guidance from a perceived

divine source. Hastings observed that, within our present knowledge, a master theory to

account for all cases could not be derived because “each model of channeling fits some

cases very well and leaves out others. If the models are applied case by case, several models

have to be used” (1991, p. 183).

While this study covered the forms of guidance that are channeled for others, most

of the findings are valid for all guidance experiences. The researcher’s inclusion of

historical and current cases and experiences, and various analytical vehicles

(communications theory, historical and social analysis, anthropology, psychological and

parapsychology theories and models, etc.) created a well-rounded and grounded view of the

experience. This study was extensive in scope, and offered a clear and wide perspective on

channeling and divine guidance.

Another major study on channeling was John Klimo’s (1998) Channeling:

Investigations on Receiving Information from Paranormal Sources. In this study, Klimo

gave detailed case histories of current channels, and covered the historical perspective, the

channels’ personalities, the material being channeled, the perceived sources, the process of

channeling, and the possible explanations of the phenomena. His findings were very similar

to Hastings’ (1991), and together, these two studies have established a wealth of

information and evidence for the existence of and the potentially profound impact of this

experience.

The strength of Klimo’s study rested in his in-depth analysis and presentation of the

psychological character of individuals who channel. He also quantified two kinds of

channeling (intentional and spontaneous), and classic or entity channeling (clear source)

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versus open channeling (unknown source). Both these observations have appeared to be

applicable to the more general experience of divine guidance as well. Intentional and

spontaneous channeling can be compared to experiences of guidance attained either

through practice or through grace. In classic or entity channeling, the perceived source is

sometimes perceived as being a channel for Divine Being, and sometimes perceived as an

independent source; while open channeling is most directly related to the experience of

divine guidance because it is usually defined as the reception of “information and

experience out of the ground of the one Being” (Klimo, 1998, p. 365).

The researcher also hypothesized on the source of guidance and concluded that one

possible explanation could be that “each of us is an individuation out of the one universal

physical energy ground of Being (physicalizing the mental), or out of the one Universal

Mind or Spirit (mentalizing the physical), depending on your perspective” (1998, p. 357).

Klimo put forth this psycho-spiritual explanation by proposing the existence of three types

of dissociation: intra-psychic or intra-personal, inter-psychic or interpersonal, psycho-

religious or transpersonal. On the level of psycho-religious or transpersonal dissociation,

guidance messages may emerge out of the Universal Mind, Spirit, or Ground of Being of

which we are all a part. Or put in another way, “we are like the subpersonalities of God”

(1998, p. 406) receiving communication from the central divine personality.

Klimo’s presentation of this material was extremely detailed, yet seemed unwieldy

and occasionally lacked clarity. While Hastings’ presentation was less detailed, it was

extremely precise and clear. Both these studies provided historical and current evidence for

the existence and impact of this particular form of the guidance experience. Their theories

and observations appeared to hold true for all reported forms of guidance. The major

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differences between the divine guidance experience and channeling, as represented in these

and other studies, appears to be that divine guidance is limited to perceived divine sources

while channeling is not; and that channeling is usually limited to the form of guidance

intended to be shared with others, whereas some experiences of divine guidance do not

appear to have this limitation. The social context of the channeling experience may

influence this tendency, while the nature of other forms of the guidance experience may

carry their own more introverted context (A. Hastings, personal communication, February

14, 2005).

Intuition

Intuition is soul guidance, appearing naturally in man

during those instants when his mind is calm. Nearly everyone has had the experience

of an inexplicably correct “hunch” or has transferred his thoughts accurately to another person.

—Paramahansa Yogananda (1983, p. 177)

Historically, intuition has been assigned “a simultaneous kinship to both the Gods

and the instincts” (Arons, 1993, p. 161); sometimes viewed as a source by itself, and

sometimes viewed as a channel for divine communication. “Jung viewed intuition as a form

of perception . . . that utilizes the unconscious rather than the senses” (Ross, 1992, pp. 84-

85). One psychoanalytic perspective on intuition has held that it “represents an unconscious

cognitive activity . . . which becomes conscious under certain conditions” (Rosenblatt &

Thickstun, 1994). Many transpersonal psychologists have considered the source of intuition

to actually be the superconscious or transpersonal mind (Arons, 1993; Harman &

Rheingold, 1984). Assagioli considered intuition to be “a psychic organ or means to

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apprehend reality” (1976, p. 217), and made a distinction between “day-to-day intuition and

real spiritual intuition” (p. 217).

Francis Vaughan (1979) in her study on intuition has noted four different levels or

modes through which intuition appeared to operate: Physical, emotional, mental, and

spiritual. While Vaughan has made a distinction between receiving intuitive information

through physical sensation, feelings, thoughts, and pure spiritual knowing, she also has

suggested that the source of all intuition appeared to be a higher, transcendent source of

wisdom (1979).

In both Eastern and Western spiritual traditions, intuitive knowledge is recognized as the highest form of truth. Western mystics and Eastern gurus agree that reason is limited, and only intuition can apprehend ultimate truth. The state which is called enlightenment or illumination is an intuitive experience wherein one penetrates behind appearances, to see things as they really are, to know them from within, through identification of the knower with the object known. (Vaughan, 1979, p. 175)

David Sowerby’s (2001) heuristic study on intuition and inner guidance examined

the recognition and interpretation of intuition among 12 professional intuitives who were

reported to have exceptional intuitive abilities. The participants reported “a wide variety of

experiences and definitions of intuition” (p. iii), which appeared to manifest “as a unique

combination of signals and forms for each participant” (p. iii). All 12 participants reported

successful use of their intuitive abilities for both personal and professional applications, and

an ability to access their intuitive faculties through deliberate methods of the induction of

altered state of consciousness, or by asking a question and waiting for the answer (2001).

The results of this study suggest that intuition is a skill that can be practiced, and can be

successfully utilized in problem solving, decision-making, dispute resolution, and scientific

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and artistic exploration, as well as being a significant form or channel for receiving spiritual

and divine guidance (Sowerby, 2001).

Inspiration

The great religion, invention, work of art, always owes its inception to some sudden uprush of intuitions or ideas for which the superficial self cannot account; its execution to powers so far beyond the control of that self, that they seem, as their owner sometimes says, to “come from beyond.” This is “inspiration”; the opening of the sluices, so that those waters of truth in which all life is bathed may rise to the level of consciousness. (Underhill, 1961, p. 65)

Inspiration has historically had “strict religious and mystical connotations” (Hymer,

1990, p. 20). From this perspective, inspiration has referred to the movement of the Divine

penetrating the experience of the individual. Put another way, through inspiration, the

individual can be said to breathe in the Divine. This breathing in of the Divine reportedly

has produced revelation in the mystic, creative visions in the artist, new born ideas for the

inventor, shifts in understanding and comprehension in the scientist, and transformational

awareness in the spiritual aspirant (Hymer, 1990; Underhill, 1961). Though the word

inspiration has often been used in reference to a source of guidance itself, or as merely a

secular phenomenon, its inherent meaning has always tended to subtly point to the Divine

as the true source of its power (Gardner, 1982; Hymer, 1990).

Tobin Hart, in his phenomenological study of the experience of inspiration and its

meaning (1998), conducted in-depth open-ended interviews with 70 participants over a

period of several years. Hart’s intention was to study the experience and meaning of

inspiration, and the absence of the experience as well. The results of a phenomenological

analysis of the interview data suggested that inspiration “is a significant and distinct

epistemic event that many people experience” (1998, p. 7) and that its presence has tended

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to be a positive influence, while its absence has often corresponded to commonly reported

negative qualities of mental health, including depression (1998).

Hart distinguishes four general phenomenological characteristics or patterns of the

experience of inspiration, as described by the participants: Connection, opening, clarity, and

energy (1998). Connection was reported to be accomplished “through the perceived

alteration of one’s personal boundaries and an accompanying shift in a feeling of self

separateness” (p. 13); “There was a universal and distinct description of being ‘opened’ in

some way” (p.15); “As participants found themselves connected and opened, sensory

clarity and cognitive clarity emerged as distinct phenomena” (p. 17); and finally a

“dramatic shift in emotional as well as physical energy was evident in every description”

(p. 19).

The data suggested that inspiration appeared to manifest in two distinct ways: into

form and into being; either as a pure inner experience or one that leads to manifestation and

expression of its guidance (1998). Hart also noted that while inspiration appeared to be an

experience that could not be willed into being, it did appear to be an experience that could

be cultivated through the influence of set and setting (1998, 2000).

Additionally, Hart observed that inspiration had been perceived as a source of

guidance and revelation in both the reports of his participants and in the literature (1998),

and has appeared to be a source of psychological and spiritual sustenance for ordinary

people as well as for artists, scientists, and mystics (1998, 2000). The large sample size of

this study and the extensive review of the literature helped to strengthen the credibility of

Hart’s findings.

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Synchronicity

My example concerns a young woman patient who, in spite of efforts on both sides, proved to be psychologically inaccessible. . . . After several fruitless attempts . . . I had to confine myself to the hope that something unexpected and irrational would turn up, something that would burst the intellectual retort into which she had sealed herself. Well, I was sitting opposite her one day, with my back to the window, listening to the flow of rhetoric. She had had an impressive dream the night before, in which someone had given her a golden scarab—a costly piece of jewelry. While she was telling me this dream, I heard something behind me gently tapping on the window. I turned around and saw that it was a fairly large flying insect that was knocking against the windowpane from outside in the obvious attempt to get into the dark room. . . . I opened the window immediately and caught the insect in the air as it flew in. It was a scarabaeid beetle, or common rose-chafer (Cetonia aurata), whose gold-green colour most nearly resembles that of a golden scarab. I handed this beetle to my patient with the words, “Here is your scarab.” This experience punctured the desired hole in her rationalism and broke the ice of her intellectual resistance. The treatment could now be continued with satisfactory results. (Jung, 1978, pp. 525-526, italics in original)

Many ancient cultures and peoples viewed the world “in terms of patterns and

interconnections of individual events” (Peat, 1987, p. 3) that conveyed hidden messages

from the realm of the Spirit. Psychologist Carl Jung observed these patterns and interactions

in his own life and in the life of his patients (1978). One of those patients, physicist

Wolfgang Pauli, helped Jung solidify his theories about these patterns of meaningful

coincidences that he called synchronicity (Peat, 1987). As Jung defined it, a synchronicity

is a meaningful parallel occurrence between “a certain psychic state with one or more

external events” (1969, p. 441). This interaction between event and meaning is what seems

to happen when coincidence appears to go beyond the laws of probability and conveys a

meaning that resonates within the individual (Peat, 1987).

While Jung himself attributed synchronicity to a general acausal ordered-ness

within nature (Aziz, 1990; Mansfield, 1995), the very profoundly meaningful nature of

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most synchronistic events tend to be experienced as “a numinous expression of

transcendent meaning that unfolds in both the inner and outer worlds . . . a revelation of the

cosmic self or soul as meaning, an instruction through acausally connected events in both

the inner and outer worlds” (Mansfield, 1995, p. 199). Many theorists (Bolen, 1979;

Crowley, 1986; Inglis, 1987; Mansfield, 1995; Peat, 1987) have believed that these

synchronistic revelations imply that there is a divine or higher source “providing us with

both the necessary experience and meaning required for our transformation, our

individuation” (Mansfield, 1995, p. 199).

Synchronicities are characterized by a unity of the universal with the particular that lies within a coincidence of events. This essence of the universal is also discovered in science, where patterns, symmetries, and mathematical laws are found to interconnect a multiplicity of individual events. While science has conventionally accepted that its laws are purely descriptive in nature, it is possible that behind the phenomena of the material world lies a generative and formative order. (Peat, 1987, p. 111)

Through a series of interesting synchronicities I discovered Diane Escoffon’s

(1994) dissertation, Synchronicity or Meaningful Coincidences: Quantification of Feeling

States, Circumstances, and Attributing Causes; and an Experiment with “Synchronicity

incubation.” The “study quantified patterns from synchronicities recorded after they

occurred and explored whether an incubation procedure affected the number of

synchronistic experiences” (Escoffon, 1994, p. iv). The participants included 69 self-

selected volunteers aged 19-78 (average = 39.9). Seventy-four percent were women; 79%

Caucasian; 71% had higher education; 65% were employed; 32% were students; and 3%

were retired or unemployed. Two groups were formed: An incubation group with 30

members and a control group with 31 members. All the participants reported having

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experiences of synchronicities prior to the study (36% experienced many, 45% experienced

a moderate amount, 19% experienced a few, 0% had no synchronicities).

For discovering patterns of synchronicities, a questionnaire with 111 questions was

filled out by the participants for each synchronicity experience encountered. For analyzing

the incubation procedure, 2x2 ANOVA and t-test measures were used. Both groups

recorded experiences and filled out questionnaires. The Incubation procedure included

listening to a 2-minute tape, drinking water, and affirming synchronicity awareness. Six

hundred and ten “everyday” synchronicities were recorded during a 6 week period.

The research revealed several patterns of synchronistic experiences: Feelings prior

to the experience included a sense of openness, relaxation, neutrality, calmness, and

peacefulness; during the experience participants reported feeling connected, open, excited,

and a sense of wonder; and after the experience they also felt connected, open, excited, and

wonder. Although the intervention procedure applied in this study failed to show a

significant effect on increasing awareness of synchronistic experiences, this study clearly

establishes the existence of the experience of synchronicity in everyday life among normal

individuals, and its tendency to be experienced as a form of higher guidance, while adding

to the understanding of the nature and process of the experience.

Divination

If you open your eyes to the world around you, you will find that the natural world is constantly trying to tell you about your own movement, about your own changes, about your own helpers, and about your own totems. The information is there, you just have to learn how to receive it. (Bear, Wind, & Mulligan, 1991, p. 76)

Throughout human history, messages from the spirit were often seen as being

transmitted through natural signs and wonders. These natural signs and wonders were

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frequently interpreted through the art and practice of divination (Muthengi, 1993).

Divination is “the attempt to elicit from some higher power or supernatural being the

answers to questions beyond the range of ordinary human understanding” (Loewe &

Blacker, 1981, p. 1). The process of divination has taken many forms, and has been found

in the recorded history of Babylon, Egypt, China, Tibet, Japan, Greece, Rome, Africa, and

ancient European cultures (Ferguson, 1988; Loewe & Blacker, 1981; Muthengi, 1993;

Pollard, 1988), and in most of the world’s religious traditions (Loewe & Blacker, 1981;

Muthengi, 1993).

The many forms of divination through which divine guidance and prophecy were

sought included the interpretation of patterns in the sky, lightning, the flight of birds, tea

leaves, animal entrails, sneezing, chance remarks, and dreams (Ferguson, 1988; Loewe &

Blacker, 1981; Muthengi, 1993; Pollard, 1988). Systems of divination were developed that

included the casting of lots or stones; gazing into water or a crystal; astrology; reading tarot

cards; communication with the dead; and geomancy, a form of divination that uses signs

and patterns of the earth (Devereux, 1992; Ferguson, 1988; Loewe & Blacker, 1981;

Muthengi, 1993; Pollard, 1988; Stone, 1992). Many of these divination methods evolved

into and/or included the guidance of an inner voice or voices, and were also often

incorporated into experiences of channeling (Hastings, 1991).

The I Ching

[The human being] has received from heaven a nature innately good, to guide him in all his movements. By devotion to this divine spirit within himself, he attains an unsullied innocence that leads him to do right with instinctive sureness and without any ulterior thought of reward and personal advantage. This instinctive certainty brings about supreme success and “furthers through perseverance.” —I Ching, Hexagram 25, Wu Wang, Innocence (Wilhelm, 1950, p. 101)

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The Chinese Book of Changes, The I Ching (Wilhelm, 1950), is an ancient

divination tool created to assist in reading and discerning the guidance offered by the

continual and eternal flow of existence. This guidance has most often come from the

reading and interpretation of parallel connections between inner and outer phenomena

(Peat, 1987). These seemingly connected phenomena are what Jung called synchronicities,

and is the reason why he has called the I Ching the science of synchronicity (Aziz, 1990;

Peat, 1987; Wilhelm, 1950).

The concepts underlying the I Ching suggest that the reality of each moment is the

outcome of a vast tapestry of external and internal forces, including psychic states and

divine influences. These forces are considered the archetypal elements of all existence, and

are symbolized by various combinations of patterns of yin and yang (dark and light) energy

in three levels of existence, represented by a three-line symbol (trigram) of Heaven-

Humanity-Earth (Douglas, 1971; Wilhelm, 1950).

In the I Ching, each of the eight directions has a primal trigram and an inner world

trigram (see Figure 1). When these trigrams are combined, they form eight major

directional hexagrams. The I Ching ends up with 64 hexagrams through the permutation of

all possible combinations of the elemental trigrams. The I Ching divination process usually

begins with the throwing of a set of Chinese coins or yarrow sticks while a specific

question, issue, or circumstance is contemplated. The patterns created by the falling of the

coins or sticks are then correlated to the various hexagrams. Each hexagram has a specific

passage in the book that describes the subtle forces at play in the given circumstance

(Douglas, 1971; Govinda, 1981; Wilhelm, 1950).

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Figure 1. I Ching—Order of the Trigrams. Diagram illustrates the order of the trigrams according to King Wan and Fu-Hsi interpretations, with cardinal and other directional reference points.

From The Yi King by J. Legge, 1882, Plate III, Figure 2. Material in public domain. Retrieved from http://www.sacred-texts.com/ich/pl3-2.htm.

In a series of quantitative studies during 1998 and 1999, parapsychology researchers

Lance Storm and Michael Thalbourne tested the use of the I Ching as a method of

divination with 93 participants (Storm & Thalbourne, 2001a, 2001b). The measures of this

study included the participant’s abilities to throw three-of-a-kind in relation to the changing

lines task within the I Ching methodology; the number of times their throw produced a

hexagram that matched one of 16 hexagrams preselected by the participants (hitting

success); and the presence of any indications of transliminality or “the tendency for

psychological material to cross thresholds into or out of consciousness from the subliminal,

the supraliminal, and the outside world” (Thalbourne, 2000, p. 1).

While the first sampling showed mixed results, the second sampling showed

significant hitting success, significant transliminality-hitting correlation, and significant

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correlations between hitting, transliminality, and factors on the Cattell 16 Personality Factor

Questionnaire (Cattell, Eber, & Tatsuoka, 1970). The researchers suggested that these

findings indicated possible correlations between the I Ching and paranormal activity; that

the I Ching appeared to be a transliminal process in which psychological material seemed

to cross the threshold between consciousness and the physical world (Storm & Thalbourne,

2000); and that during I Ching divination a psychopraxia or mind-over-matter effect

seemed to occur in which the traditionally separate psi phenomena of ESP and

psychokinesis appeared simultaneously (Storm & Thalbourne, 2000, 2001a, 2001b).

The findings of these studies on the I Ching, along with the previously mentioned

historical and anecdotal evidence of the use of the I Ching and other divination methods for

accessing divine guidance, suggest that these tools and practices have a long history of

usage. They also appear to have the capacity for fostering a perceived connection with a

divine or higher source of wisdom and guidance.

Guidance Practices

Each of us already have some history of God’s personal dealings with us. There are some actions from our side, unique to each individual, that seem more frequently to dispose us to sense God. We could, perhaps, call these spiritual disciplines our windows to God. (Liebert, 1989, pp. 300-301)

In addition to methods of divination, divine guidance has also been sought through

both general and specific spiritual and metaphysical practices (Underhill, 1961; Walsh,

1999). The conceptualization of spiritual practice as preparation for contact with the Divine

has been an integral part of most spiritual and religious systems (Walsh, 1999). These

practices have usually preceded, followed, and/or accompanied initial contact with the

Divine. Once initial contact has been made, either through singular or successive

experience, most spiritual and religious traditions have recognized a needed period of

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purification (Underhill, 1961). During this period, the “self must be purged of all that stands

between it and goodness: putting on the character of reality instead of the character of

illusion” (Underhill, 1961, p. 199). This process of purification has usually been

accomplished through a particular system of disciplined practices, rituals, observances, and

restraints (Smith, 1991; Underhill, 1961). These purification practices have been designed

to remove the obstacles that seem to interfere with the communication between the

individual and the Divine (Underhill, 1961; Walsh, 1999).

A survey of the literature has revealed a wealth of practices, disciplines, and

experiences that have been used to foster divine contact. These include prayer; meditation;

contemplation; spiritual reading; dream work; sanctification of life (rituals, rites of passage,

the holding of life and self as sacred); sanctification of time (daily, weekly, monthly, and

yearly practices); space apart (for prayer, rest, and sanctuary); relationships (spiritual

guides, community, etc.); loving; active imagination; the creation of and experiencing of

art; keeping a journal; body practices (Yoga, Tai Chi, etc.); spiritual study and personal

growth; spirit of conservation (material limits and nonattachment); right livelihood; and

charity and service (Caprio & Hedberg, 1986; Durckheim, 1971; Liebert, 1989; Ochs &

Olitzky, 1997).

The Practice of the Presence of the Divine

The finest way into the direct experience of God is to learn to recognize the little signs you already have, here and now, in the commonplace. God is in all the little, ever-present signs we are missing. All have known this kind of experience, countless times, and yet it is rarely recognized for what it is. (Van Dusen, 1996, p. 3)

A common guidance practice employed by many traditions has been the simple act

of looking for signs of the presence of the Divine, or seeing the sacred in all things (Walsh,

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1999). While this form of practice has similarities to some methods of divination, it is more

of a daily meditative and contemplative practice of seeing the presence of the Divine in all

things. Walsh has found forms of this practice in Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Taoism,

Buddhism, and the Platonic tradition (Walsh, 1999). Buber (1958), De Caussade

(1887/1975), and Brother Lawrence (1895/1978) all followed this approach, taking each

moment and experience as an opportunity for seeing the Divine, seeking its guidance, and

following in its way.

The presence of God is an application of our soul to God, or a remembrance of God present, which can be made either by the imagination or by the intellect. . . . [It is a] gentle and loving gazing at God [that] insensibly lights in the soul a divine fire. (Brother Lawrence, 1895/1978, pp. 88-89)

This method consists of an essential shift in consciousness and experience that one

practices on a daily, moment-to-moment basis. It is based on the belief that the “present

moment is an ever-flowing source of holiness” (De Caussade, 1887/1975, p. 49), and that

seeing “God’s actions in our lives gives us eyes to see that action even more frequently”

(Liebert, 1989, p. 300). When an individual embarks on this form of practice, “he lives as if

there were no one but God and he in the world, he converses everywhere with God, asks

Him for what he needs, and rejoices with Him ceaselessly in a thousand ways” (Brother

Lawrence, 1895/1978, p. 89). In describing this approach, Buber asserted, “if you hallow

this life you meet the living God” (1958, p. 79).

Men do not find God if they stay in the world. They do not find Him if they leave the world. He who goes out with his whole being to meet his Thou and carries to it all being that is in the world, finds Him who cannot be sought. (Buber, 1958, p. 79)

Researcher William Parks (2002) explored a form of the practice of the presence of

the Divine from Celtic Christianity and studied its impact on a group of 12 college students

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from various Christian traditions. A 7-week prayer and study group was devised and

implemented using Celtic Christianity prayers and readings on seeing the Divine in all

things (Parks, 2002).

What the Celtic understanding brings us is the chance to break down the barriers between the active and the contemplative life, and instead to make the busy, boring, relentless daily life tasks the basis for continuous praying and for finding the presence of God. —Esther de Waal (Parks, 2002, p. 154)

Participation in this study included applications of daily Celtic Christian practices of

the presence of the Divine, combined with weekly in-group study, prayer, and group

sharing of participant’s experiences. Pre and post researcher-designed questionnaires were

administered, along with requested weekly participant reports. The data from the

questionnaires and participant reports were then coded and analyzed using mean and

standard deviation measures.

The results of this study confirm that increased attention to looking for the Divine

Presence in daily life has been known to increase an individual’s sense of that presence, as

well as producing an increased sense of the integration of an individual’s faith into their

daily life (Parks, 2002). The researcher also observed a marked increase in several spiritual

and faith factors in the reports of all the participants, but was unable to adequately measure

effects of well-being due to the timing of the end of the study with the students’ anxiety-

inducing final exam period (2002).

Parks also noted that the participants reported the increase in the perception of a

Divine presence had actually begun when the participants were simply asked “to write

down how they experienced God’s presence” (2002, p. 132) before any practices were

initiated. While the sample size is relatively small, these findings did substantiate the

theories of Liebert and others who have contended that the mere act of focusing on Divine

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presence has been known to facilitate the experience of that presence (Liebert, 1989; Parks,

2002).

Spiritual Exercises and the Discernment of Spirits

This expression “Spiritual Exercises” embraces every method of examination of conscience, of meditation, of contemplation, of vocal and mental prayer, and of other spiritual activity . . . . For just as strolling, walking and running are bodily exercises, so spiritual exercises are methods of preparing and disposing the soul to free itself of all inordinate attachments, and after accomplishing this, of seeking and discovering the Divine Will regarding the disposition of one’s life. (Ignatius of Loyola, 1576/1964, p. 37)

Many traditions have systems of spiritual exercises with the expressed purpose of

the purification of the body, mind, heart, and spirit in preparation for contact and

communication with the Divine (Walsh, 1999). These systems of spiritual exercises have

usually consisted of a combination of practices, including prayer, meditation,

contemplation, movement exercises, observances, and restraints (Smith, 1991; Underhill,

1961; Walsh, 1999). While there has been a wealth of information on these systems within

each tradition and their relationship to the experience of divine encounter, the primary

literature (in English) was mostly limited to reviews and studies of the Christian systems of

the spiritual exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola (1491-1556) and John Wesley (1703-

1791). Both the Ignatian and Wesleyan systems of spiritual exercises have highly

developed methods for the preparation and purification of the individual who seeks an

intimate relationship with the Divine (Kwon, 2001).

Saint Ignatius of Loyola (1576/1964) developed an extensive system of spiritual

exercises to free the soul of the obstacles to guidance. Within this system, the individual

goes through a series of spiritual exercises to cleanse themselves of all their obstacles, and

then seeks guidance and discernment using a set of guiding principles and predetermined

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steps (Smith, 1983). As Saint Ignatius explained it, the spiritual exercises are a process for

“preparing and disposing the soul to free itself of all inordinate attachments, and after

accomplishing this, of seeking and discovering the Divine Will” (1576/1964, p. 37). The

exercises have usually been performed within the context of an extended retreat setting

where an individual retreatant is guided by a spiritual director through the 4-week structure

of the spiritual exercises (Fleming, 1983).

The Exercises themselves are focused primarily on passages from the four gospels . . . with certain key structures presented by Ignatius at precise intervals as a distillation of a particular movement or call within the gospels. The carefully constructed content of the Exercises was written down specifically as a help . . . to facilitate the response to God’s special grace and call. (Fleming, 1983, p. 3)

The set of guiding principles and predetermined steps for the discernment of spirits,

which was also developed from the theories and practices of Saint Ignatius, is utilized both

during and after the process of the spiritual exercises to directly access divine guidance

(Fleming, 1983; Smith, 1983). The word discernment is used in this context to describe

both the entire guidance process and the discerning of authentic information. Several

variations have been developed within the Christian tradition (Fleming, 1983; Smith, 1983).

One of these variations is Herbert Smith’s (1983) distillation of Saint Ignatius’ discernment

of spirits guidance process, which can be used in conjunction with or separate from the

exercises, and includes five preliminary or prelude steps, and then eleven steps within the

actual guidance process:

A) The Preludes. 1) A confusion of mind arises as to the right course of action, because both thoughts and feelings are ambiguous. 2) I begin to reflect on the issue. 3) I spend the requisite time gathering the information necessary to clarify the issue and formulate the various alternatives.

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4) I try to reduce the alternatives to two: I will follow course of action X; I will not follow course of action X. 5) If I am aware that my feelings are enslaving me to one course of action so that I am not free to make a true discernment, I begin a program of spiritual exercises designed to help me break free of my addictions and uncontrolled affections (The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius are admirable for this purpose). Only when I am free do I go on to the actual discernment. B) The Actual Discernment [Guidance Process]. 1) I seek the presence of God just as I do in my ordinary prayer. 2) I try to become consciously aware of who I am in my grace identity and personal Christian history: of my basic way of relating to God, and my fundamental way of going to God through my state of life, responsibilities, personal religious experience and attractions, etc. (just in a global sense: no particulars). 3) I try to sense my I-Thou relationship with You, God (I don’t try to reflect on it, I try to experience the relationship which makes you and me us: experience it about the way I do in my normal prayer). 4) In Your Presence, I bring forward the first alternative. I try to make its effect on me and on us as concrete as possible. I offer to You the alternative and its effects on our relationship. 5) I attend to the consequences. What emotions, affections, thoughts and impulses are stirred? Do I feel closer to you or more distant from you? Do I sense you are pleased—or displeased? Do I feel increased peace, joy, and consolation, or an onset of unrest, sadness and desolation? 6) After carefully attending to these effects, I now offer you the other (contrary) alternative, and once again note the effect on our relationship. Does this alternative produce reverse effects? 7) Thus I try to experience which proposed course of action makes me grow into a deeper, happier relationship with you—and which interferes with our relationship. Our grace-filled relationship itself should tell me, for grace does break into consciousness (cf. Gal. 5:22-25). 8) If one alternative clearly enhances our relationship, and the other disturbs it, I have discerned which to adopt, and which to reject. 9) If I feel either alternative equally enhances our relationship, I can securely put either into practice. 10) If neither alternative enhances or disturbs our relationship, I am not able at present to settle the matter through the discernment process. It may be that neither alternative is right. I have to go over the possibilities, perhaps gather new data, and so forth. 11) If I discern one course to be the right one, I choose it and act on it. Should the results show that I seem to have made a wrong discernment, I must first discern this new supposition, and not readily abandon a decision I have so carefully made. Only when the evidence that I have made a mistake is more compelling than the evidence of the original discernment, should I bring the original discernment under review by repeating it in the presence of the new evidence. I may then learn:

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a) that I am simply growing tired of sticking to the right course; b) that the course has now to be modified but not abandoned; c) that new circumstances require a new course; d) that my original discernment was deceptive because I was the slave of some passion, or blinded by some bias, or careless in collecting the information necessary before I could draw up the real alternatives. I correct the disorder as best I can, and repeat the discernment. (Smith, 1983, pp. 240-241)

While the practices of the spiritual exercises and the discernment of the spirits of

Saint Ignatius have been well developed, documented, and practiced in the Christian

community, John Wesley’s exercises had not been as fully articulated in a systematic way

until recently. Hee Soon Kwon brought the Wesleyan exercises together in a program she

administered for her study on the impact of spiritual exercises within the Wesleyan tradition

(2001).

Kwon’s study involved 38 women from Wesleyan Korean immigrant churches,

who were split up into two groups (n = 20 control; n = 18 experimental). A 7-week

experimental course of Wesleyan spiritual exercises was administered to the experimental

group, while both groups received pre and post Personal Orientation Inventory (POI) and

Spiritual Orientation Inventory (SOI) tests, and follow-up interviews (2001). “The exercise

group evidenced significantly more change than the control group on the POI and the SOI,

and their scores increased in the direction of greater tendency toward self-actualization”

(2001, p. iii). While the sample was limited in cultural and sexual diversity, these findings,

combined with the verbal reports, have suggested that the Wesleyan spiritual exercises

appeared to promote personal and spiritual transformation processes (Kwon, 2001).

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Spiritual Guidance

The essence of spiritual guidance or direction can be seen whenever one person helps another to see and respond to spiritual truth. It is a human relationship that seeks realization of that which is beyond human comprehension. Such relationships have existed in all times and places throughout history; some have been formal, some casual, some creative, and some destructive. The person of the spiritual guide has been called by many names: shaman, guru, mentor, rabbi, priest, pastor, mother, father, director, friend. (May, 1982, p. 1)

Within the primary literature, the term spiritual guidance is mostly used to describe

the general process of being spiritually guided by another person. While the term is also

often used to describe the act of one-on-one spiritual direction or counseling, as well as for

the actual experience of divine guidance, I have chosen to keep these terms separate for

purposes of clarity. The term spiritual guidance, as it is used in this study, denotes the

general practice of seeking guidance from another person or persons for the purposes of

“help, assistance, attention, or facilitation in . . . deepening one’s personal realization of

relationship to [the Divine, and] also to the dynamic living-out of that realization in the

actions of daily life” (May, 1982, p. 8).

This support in the realization of an individual’s relationship to the Divine is very

often synonymous with the support of the individuals’ quest in seeking, receiving, and

following the guidance of the Divine. Within this process of spiritual guidance and support,

the spiritual guide often acts as a living example, a mirror of the self, a conduit for divine

guidance, and a teacher of wisdom passed down by the tradition (Bogart, 1997; May, 1982;

Vest, 2003).

This practice of being spiritually guided by another person in support of the

experience of divine guidance has been found in most of the world’s spiritual traditions

(Bogart, 1997; Vest, 2003). It has been represented in the primary literature in two different

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forms: spiritual apprenticeship or the spiritual teacher-student relationship, and spiritual

direction or counseling.

Spiritual Apprenticeship

Spiritual apprenticeship is the path of training under the guidance of spiritual teachers in order to achieve inner awakening, enlightenment, or Self-realization. I use the term to denote the relationship we have to those who guide us on the path of sacred knowledge and inner wisdom. (Bogart, 1997, p. 4)

In an in-depth historical and interview-based qualitative study of the relationship

between spiritual teachers and spiritual aspirants across cultures and traditions, Bogart

(1997) reported finding some form of the experience of spiritual apprenticeship or

discipleship in most of the world’s spiritual traditions, and that there appeared to be nine

universal stages of the spiritual apprenticeship process. These reported stages included the

choosing of a teacher; a process of initiation; a phase of instruction or discipleship; a period

of testing the students’ character and their faith in the teacher; a stage of internal or psychic

attunement with the teacher; periods of attaining glimpses of the goal; a stage of separating

from the teacher; finding the teacher within; and teaching others (1997).

The results of Bogart’s well-documented and comprehensive study also suggested

that the ultimate goal of the practice of spiritual apprenticeship appeared to be the discovery

of the Divine Inner Teacher. This process has been reported to be one of both self-effort

and divine grace, which seemed to be transmitted through the teacher and the student as

well (1997).

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Spiritual Direction and Counseling

When spiritual guidance occurs in a formal, one-to-one relationship with another individual, it can be called spiritual direction. In the classic form of spiritual direction there is a director and directee, the one helping the other to discern the work of the Lord in his or her life and to distinguish among the various forces or “spirits” which seem to beckon in different directions. (May, 1982, p. 8)

The formal one-to-one spiritual guidance encounter where one individual counsels

another on matters of the Spirit is called by many names including spiritual direction,

spiritual counseling, and pastoral counseling. The demarcation between spiritual guidance

offered within the framework of spiritual direction and counseling, and that of a spiritual

apprenticeship format is relatively fluid; often the spiritual guide in an apprenticeship

situation will offer one-on-one counseling, and the relationship between an individual and

their spiritual director or counselor can evolve into a spiritual apprenticeship situation

(May, 1982).

The term spiritual direction has usually been used to refer to a spiritual counseling

relationship that directly addresses the individual’s struggle to seek, receive, and follow

divine guidance (May, 1982; Thal, 2003). While this form of spiritual guidance has most

often been associated with the Christian tradition, there have been indications of its use in

some form in several other traditions (Byrne, 1990; Vest, 2003). This form of spiritual

guidance has been known to often include the direct involvement of divine guidance

through the director’s or counselor’s allowing themselves to be a vehicle for the true or

Divine Counselor (Corcoran, 1997; May, 1982).

For where two or more are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

—Matthew 18:20

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Spiritual counseling and pastoral counseling are more general terms that have been

used to refer to a wide range of forms of the spiritual counseling relationship, from working

directly with an individual’s relationship with the Divine “to working with life issues and

crises from the spiritual perspective” (Thal, 2003, p. 21). While not all spiritual and pastoral

counseling approaches directly address the issue of divine guidance, they tend to indirectly

address the issue by assisting in an individual’s spiritual growth, formation, and evolving

relationship with the Divine (May, 1982; Thal, 2003).

There are numerous studies and theoretical explorations in the primary literature on

spiritual direction and counseling, mostly from the Judeo-Christian perspective. These

included studies of spiritual direction and counseling within a specific Christian tradition

(Frey, 2003; Lamontagne, 2002) and within the Jewish tradition (Schachter-Shalomi, 1991;

Thal, 2003); comparative surveys of spiritual direction and counseling among various

religious traditions, including Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, and Judaism

(Byrne, 1990; Vest, 2003); and comparative analyses of different spiritual direction

approaches among a variety of Christian traditions and theologians (Byrne, 1990; Rietberg,

2001; Vest, 2003). Additionally, there have been inquiries into the effects of spiritual

direction and counseling on the director or counselor, directee or client, and among various

social groups and subcultures (Boys, 2002; Derek, 1987; Fitzgerald, 1998; Galindo, 1987);

explorations of the narrative qualities of the experience (Dyck, 1999); various historical

case studies (Milos, 1988; Valantasis, 1991); investigations into the use of spiritual

direction or counseling in a group setting (Barnes, 1998; Doss, 1995); and comparative

analyses between psychology and spiritual direction or counseling (Bidwell, 2003;

Crumpler, 1994; May, 1982).

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One of the most relevant studies on spiritual direction and counseling, as it pertains

to the topic of this inquiry, was Judith Wilkinson’s (1997) self-study of her experience of

receiving Christian spiritual direction as a directee for a period of 10 years. Utilizing

journaling and existential self-reflection techniques, the researcher examined her personal

experiences with several spiritual directors, and the impact it had on her inner and outer life

(1997). In addition to working with a spiritual director, the researcher was in a university

level religious studies program; developed a personal guidance and discernment practice;

took silent spiritual retreats; and explored various other personal growth, spiritual, and

religious practices including prayer, rituals, affirmations, guided imagery, journaling,

creative expression, and present moment attention practices (1997).

Wilkinson reported that her spiritual direction experiences, which included the

learning and implementation of a practice of seeking, receiving, and following divine

guidance, resulted in a perceived increase in personal and spiritual growth; a sense of a

progressive development of faith; an increased sense of Divine Presence in daily life; and

an increased desire to seek, receive, and follow the will of the Divine. Additional effects of

the experience reported by the researcher included the sense of receiving guidance and

comfort through midlife crises and a dark night of the soul experience; the reception of

psychological, sociological, and theological insights; an increased desire to help others;

increased sense of freedom of expression; shifts in perception toward a less judgmental

attitude; increased sensitivity and receptivity to the needs of self and others; and “a

deepening growth of freedom, peace, love and joy” (1997, p. 7).

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Discernment

[People] have credited both glorious and shameful deeds to inner promptings that they have interpreted to be divine revelation. History is filled with examples of people who have helped themselves and others—and of people who have harmed themselves and others—by following inner voices, visions and feelings that they have understood to be of heavenly origin. (Setzer, 1978, p. 41)

Throughout human history, perceived experiences of divine guidance have been

reported in cases of pathological individuals as well as in ordinary people and mystics

(Alschuler, 1987; Liester, 1996; Reichenbach, 1997). Voices, visions, and other

nonordinary states of consciousness related to the experience of divine guidance “cover a

wide spectrum, from purely spiritual states without pathological features to conditions that

are clearly biological in nature and require medical treatment” (Grof & Grof, 1989). This

variety of experience and effect has led to the most widely discussed issue of divine

guidance, the issue of discernment.

A review of the theoretical literature on discernment revealed the use of two

different definitions of the word. Some theologians, psychologists, and scholars have used

the word to describe the entire divine guidance process, while others have used the word

solely to describe the act of discerning the source, authenticity, and meaning of the message

received. For purposes of clarity in the current study, the term divine guidance has been

used to refer to the entire guidance process, and the word discernment has been used to

describe the specific process of discerning the guidance source, its authenticity, and its

intended meaning.

While the religious and psychological literature on discernment revealed numerous

theorized guidelines for the process of discernment, depending on tradition and culture,

there were also some basic areas of agreement. Most of the primary sources agreed that one

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should never blindly assume the source of any guidance, and that the source’s authenticity

and its message should be tested (Lukoff, Lu, & Turner, 1998; Reichenbach, 1997; Smith,

1983).

Numerous testing criteria were discussed in the literature, including confirmation in

the heart, and from a second person or guide (Lakes, 1985; Ochs & Olitzky, 1997); and

testing to see if the guidance is in harmony with the sacred texts and ways of the prophets

of the individual’s tradition (Kelsay, 1994; Ochs & Olitzky, 1997; Smith, 1983). Testing

through consensus of community and a comparison to similar situations were also

mentioned as helpful vehicles for discerning source, authenticity, and meaning (Kelsay,

1994).

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are of God;

for many false prophets have gone out into the world. —I John 4:1-2

Another area of general agreement in the primary literature on discernment is that

one of the most common means of discerning if the guidance received is from an authentic

(i.e., Divine, higher self, etc.) or inauthentic (i.e., Ego, subpersonalities, etc.) source is

through the testing of the qualities and effects of the experience (Alschuler, 1987; Grof &

Grof, 1990; Julian, 1987; Lukoff, Lu, & Turner, 1998; Ochs & Olitzky, 1997; Reichenbach,

1997; Sabini, 1987). Table 2 is a sampling of some of the testing criteria for qualities and

effects of perceived authentic and inauthentic experience of divine communications

reported in the primary literature.

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Table 2 Reported Criteria for Authentic and Inauthentic Divine Guidance Experiences Authentic Experience Inauthentic Experience Invitational Authoritative Internal experience External sensory experience Sense of a superior intelligence Sense of an average intelligence Clarity Uncertainty Humbling Ego inflationary Sense of integration and unity Sense of isolation and separateness Peaceful and calming Fear inducing Feeling love and joy Feeling lonely and sad Desire for Divine without obsessive attachment Preoccupation with God and religion

Note. From Alschuler, 1987; De Caussade, 1887/1975; Grof & Grof, 1990; Julian, 1987; Ochs & Olitzky, 1997; Reichenbach, 1997; Sabini, 1987; Smith, 1983; Sobosan, 1985; Van Dusen, 1972.

Rachel Julian, in her article in the Journal of Religion and Health (1987), discussed

ways of discerning between authentic and pathological religious experiences, including

experiences of divine guidance, in the context of the Christian tradition of discernment of

spirits. The author theorized that “the task of discernment of spirits is to separate apart the

various influences impinging upon a person, in order to distinguish the authentic from the

pathological religious beliefs and experiences” (1987, p. 126). Julian proceeded to present

these theories of discernment with the support of psychiatric case studies, biographical and

autobiographical data on mystics and saints, quotations from the Bible, and references to

other theorists in the field.

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The author introduced two major criteria or methods for judging religious

experience. The first method for judging religious experience was “to evaluate the effects of

the experience on a person’s emotions, thoughts, and behavior” (1987, p. 126). Julian listed

several qualities usually found in relation to an authentic religious experience. These

qualities included: peace, deep calm, joy, love, humility, helpfulness, sense of integration, a

strengthening of fellowship, and an increased desire for God without obsessive attachment.

In contrast, the qualities most often found in pathological experiences included: fear,

sadness, loneliness, an increased sense of isolation and separateness, and a preoccupation

with God and religion.

The second criterion for the evaluation of a religious experience was “its conformity

to an authentic standard, such as Scripture, church tradition, likeness to God, likeness to

what Jesus would do, or similarity to another experience which one is sure is authentic”

(1987, p. 128). Julian added additional criteria for the discernment of voices and visions,

including consideration of the religious and cultural background of the individual to see if

the experience has a socioreligious context; evaluation of the individual’s level of

willfulness, or degree of control and surrender of self in relation to source; and the degree

to which the experience contains orders or demands of blind obedience.

Julian has classified three types of voice and/or visionary experience: corporeal,

imaginative, and intellectual hallucinations. Corporeal hallucinations related to seeing or

hearing something outside of one’s self. Imaginative hallucinations are vivid images,

voices, or thoughts that are experienced in ones’ own mind. Intellectual hallucinations are

formless and include the sensing of a presence that is unseen (1987).

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The strength of Julian’s article was its clear and well-structured overview of the

material. The limitations included a lack of depth, and a slant toward the language of

pathology. This use of pathological language is most apparent in Julian’s classification of

the three types of voice and visionary experience as “hallucinations.” Another limitation of

this theoretical exposition was that the author did not address the darker side of religious

experience including aspects surrounding the “dark night of the soul.” Theologians have

made additional, more subtle distinctions concerning these darker elements of the religious

and guidance process (Underhill, 1961). For example, in the Christian discernment tradition

that Julian had based her theories upon, there has been a fine distinction made between the

experience of sadness and sorrow in relation to a divine experience (Smith, 1983). “Sorrow,

like joy, is the fruit of love . . . [whereas] . . . sadness is the fruit of desolation with its

hopelessness and meaninglessness and lack of purpose or direction” (Smith, 1983, p. 242).

In order to keep on the straight road leading to perfection,

we must make quite sure that all spiritual promptings we receive

are from God. —Jean-Pierre de Caussade (1887/1975, p. 32)

In the area of discernment, Stifler, Greer, Sneck, and Dovenmuehle (1993)

performed an impressive study on the discriminability of reported mystical experiences

among religious contemplatives, psychotic inpatients, and normal adults. They studied the

effectiveness of tests to discern between mystical experiences of psychotics,

contemplatives, and normal individuals. They formed three groups (30 Psychotics, 30

Contemplatives, 30 Normal Hospital workers), and had all members complete the Hood

Mysticism Scale, Knoblauch’s Ego Grasping Orientation Inventory (Ego Scale), and

Raskin and Hall’s Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI). They then analyzed the data

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using a multivariant analysis of variance. Participants were 49 men and 41 women, 67 of

whom were Christian, and 23 were from various other religious backgrounds. Their average

age was 43.2.

The findings showed a discernable difference in the psychological profiles between

contemplatives and psychotics, and a significant statistical multivariant analysis of variance

“contrast between the psychotics and contemplatives at the p < .0001 level” (Stifler, Greer,

Sneck, & Dovenmuehle, 1993, p. 368). While the scores of contemplatives and psychotics

were similar to each other on the Hood Test, and the contemplatives and members of the

normal group scored similar to each other on both the Ego Scale and NPI, the

contemplatives scored slightly lower than the normal group on Ego Scale and slightly

higher on NPI. These results indicated that the contemplatives appeared to have a more

moderate ego and an above average self-reflective quality in comparison to the normal

group, while displaying a stronger ego than the psychotic group.

The researchers gave a clear, precise, and detailed presentation, including test

results with charts and graphs. While the study has shown the effectiveness of these tests

and the sample size was excellent, the study was limited in its representation of various

religious traditions by having such a large proportion of one religious group (Christians).

By revealing both similarities and differences between the mystical experiences of

psychotics, contemplatives, and normal individuals, this research has gone a long way in

establishing a means of discerning between madness and revelation, and confirmed the

existence of nonpathological mystical experiences, including experiences of receiving

guidance from a perceived divine source.

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Guidance in Cases of Loss and Addiction

You shall know them by their fruits. —Matthew 7:16

There have been several studies that have observed significant positive effects and

benefits of religious commitment, religious experience, and divine relations in association

with physical, emotional, and social well-being (Ellison & Levin, 1998; Matthews, et al.,

1998; Pollner, 1989; Spring, 2002). There have also been a few studies more specifically

focused on the effects of the experience of divine guidance in relation to experiences of

loss, grief, and substance addiction (Baugh, 1988; Boersma, 1989).

Frederc Boersma (1989) conducted a case study with a woman in grief who was

guided by an inner voice and visions toward healing and recovery. The inner voice and

visions occurred spontaneously through trance, induced by prayer and active imagination.

The individual studied was a Catholic nurse in her 30s who lost four babies due to birth

complications.

Boersma discovered that the inner voice appeared to direct the grieving process and

bring the individual to recovery. The inner voice also manifested as the devil or a negative

force, which actually seemed to be a part of the healing process. This inner voice was often

accompanied by inner vision experiences, which enhanced the impact of the guidance

received. The researcher concluded that this case study shows the validity of the inner

guidance experience and its healing potential. Additionally, Boersma believed that his study

displayed the importance of confronting good and evil and the deceased in the grieving

process, and revealed a great potential use for inner guidance in analytical hypnotherapy,

since the individual’s experiences were trance induced.

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This case was extremely compelling and convincing, and the researcher’s

observations were astute and logical. The limitations of this study were its brief

presentation of the details of the case, including a description of the data collection method,

and the limitations of a single participant. The study has demonstrated divine guidance’s

positive influence and usefulness for emotional healing, and presented a clear case of

nonpathological inner voice and visionary experience. It also has shown the effective use of

trance-inducing processes like ritual, prayer, and active imagination as ways of accessing

inner guidance.

In “Gaining Control by Giving Up Control: Strategies for Coping with

Powerlessness,” James Baugh (1988) explored the psychological use of surrendering to a

Higher Power and acceptance as a vehicle toward healing in cases of grief and substance

abuse. Baugh, after observing patients in a treatment center, noticed two different groups of

Alcoholic Anonymous (AA) clients. One group accepted surrender to a Higher Power, and

the other did not. He also noticed that the group that surrendered tended to be more

successful in their recovery. Baugh then focused his attention on individual case studies in

order to explore these observations further.

The researcher has explored two cases (one grief, one substance abuse) of

individuals who had accepted surrender, and observed an innate process of things working

out once the subjects let go of trying to control things. This surrender to a Higher Power

seemed to allow them to actually gain control by giving up control. Both subjects attained

recovery, through surrendering their wills to a higher will. The act of giving up the desire

and operations to gain control clearly lead to the healing and recovery in both cases (Baugh,

1988).

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The presentation of these two cases was clear and concise, and the researcher’s

beliefs prior to the study were challenged and transformed. The limits of this study included

the small sample size, the lack of more detail for the individual case histories, and the

researcher’s unsubstantiated belief that this giving up of control is only powerful and

appropriate in situations of powerlessness. This research has illustrated the effectiveness of

surrendering to a Higher Power to reduce stress, increase health and healing, and to allow

life to work itself out. This act of surrender is an essential part of the divine guidance

process, and as both of these two studies reveal, seeking guidance from a higher source and

surrendering to that Source can have profound and powerful results.

Summary

An extensive search and review of the primary literature related to the topic of

inquiry revealed a lack of cross-traditional studies of the experience of divine guidance; a

limited number of inquiries into the experience of divine guidance within individual

traditions, mostly comprised of analyses of religious narratives, and biographical and

autobiographical accounts of the experience of divine guidance; and numerous studies and

theoretical examinations of various related topics, elements, and forms of the experience.

The central topics that appeared most frequently in the primary literature reviewed for this

study included: narrative reports of the experience with various emergent patterns and

themes; the experience of calling or being called by a “divine other”; a variety of forms of

divine communication; diverse practices to purify the self of obstacles, and to elicit and

support divine communication; means of discerning the authenticity of perceived divine

communication; and perceived effects of the experience.

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Common themes and patterns within these topics included: The narrative pattern of

seeking, receiving, and following; and the sense of being called (the Commissioning

Narrative) and being led (the Vanguard Motif) by a divine source. Additional patterns and

themes included a variety of images and constructs of the perceived divine Source; an

internally and externally mediated process of development and growth (Transcendent

Education); the removal (purification) of inner obstacles to this growth (obstacles); the

discernment between authentic and inauthentic guidance experiences; the integration of

guidance with an individual’s inner and outer life; and the shifting of a locus of control

from the personal will to a perceived higher will (surrender).

While the experience of being called or sought by a perceived divine source has

been covered extensively in the literature, references to an individual’s initiation of contact

with that Source was appreciably limited. The most often mentioned forms of divine

communication were inner voices, visions, dreams, and channeling, whereas the most

studied forms were the inner voice, channeling, intuition, inspiration, and synchronicity.

While considerable mention is given regarding the use of a great many spiritual practices

for developing and sustaining the experience of divine communication and guidance, the

most studied practices were methods of divination; the practice of the presence of the

Divine; spiritual exercises and the discernment of spirits; and spiritual guidance in the

forms of spiritual apprenticeship, spiritual direction, and spiritual counseling

Additionally, the results of this review of the primary literature suggests that the

experience of divine guidance is a significant human experience that has been reported by

ordinary, extraordinary, and pathological individuals throughout human history, across

many cultures, and many domains of experience. It has been reported to occur

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spontaneously through perceived acts of grace, and also through the efforts of discipline

and practice. The literature also suggests that many individuals and groups who have

reported experiencing divine guidance have had a major impact on other individuals,

groups, communities, cultures, and world events.

CHAPTER 3: RESEARCH METHODS

It is as if it were not possible to turn the eye from darkness to light

without turning the whole body; so one must turn one’s whole soul

from the world of becoming until it can endure to contemplate reality,

the brightest of realities, which we say is the Good.

—Plato 427-347 BCE (1974, p. 171)

The following is a review of the research design, coresearcher information and

procedures, and the general research processes utilized during this study. The research

design includes the general research stance, the methods of inquiry used, and issues of

validity. Coresearcher information and procedures include coresearcher demographics,

selection criteria and procedures, and issues of confidentiality and consent. The general

research processes of this inquiry include the researcher’s self-inquiry phase, the interview

phase, and the data treatment phase.

Research Design

If it be your wish . . . to know God and to discover the greatness of His might,

look, then, upon Me with My own eyes. —Baha’u’llah 1817-1892 (1976, p. 136)

The general research design of this study has been a blended method approach

guided at every phase by the application of divine guidance practices and techniques. The

foundation of this methodological approach is the basic research stance of attempting to

allow the Divine to lead this inquiry. This stance is based on the fundamental pattern within

the literature of divine guidance called the vanguard motif, or the idea of being led and/or

guided in a certain direction by a divine other (Mann, 1975).

As previously stated, the use of this research stance and general design approach

reflects the fundamental belief within the fields of transpersonal research and spiritual

inquiry that when exploring exceptional human and mystical experiences, one should

choose a method or methods to accommodate the topic of inquiry (Braud & Anderson,

1998; Rothberg, 1994). The purpose of this approach is to “create a research design that

closely reenacts, simulates, or generates the experience being studied” (Anderson, 1998, p.

90).

Several methods of inquiry within the domain of transpersonal research and

spiritual inquiry have been developed and explored in an attempt to discover research

methods that are more in tune with these elusive realms of anomalous spiritual and

transpersonal human experiences (Cardena, Lynn, & Krippner, 2000; Rothberg, 1994).

These developing research methods and theories include Rothberg’s spiritual inquiry

(1994); Heron’s lived inquiry (1998); Anderson’s intuitive inquiry (1998); Needleman’s

science of self-investigation (1976); Weber’s inner empiricism (1986); Thurman’s inner

sciences (1991); Tart’s state-specific sciences (1972); Deikman’s mysticism as a science

(1982); and Wilber’s transcendental inquiry (1983).

This idea of knowing through harmonizing with the topic of inquiry has also been

explored in traditional scientific investigations as well. Agricultural chemist George

Washington Carver, physicist Albert Einstein, cytogeneticist Barbara McClintock, and

biologists June Goodfield and Jonas Salk all stressed some form of researcher/topic

communion, and some even reportedly used guidance and intuition to guide their research

(Braud, 1998; Liester, 1996).

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I talked with God one morning and He led me to [the discovery of the clay]. And when I had brought my friends and we had dug it up, they wanted to dig farther, but I said, “No need to dig farther. This is all there is. God told me.” And sure enough there was no more. —George Washington Carver (Clark, 1939, p. 18).

This research stance of attempting to use divine guidance to guide this inquiry into

the experience of divine guidance itself was employed as a means of creating a valid

research design by establishing coherence between the topic of inquiry and the method of

inquiry. The establishment of this coherence between topic and method was intended to

both deepen the researcher’s understanding of the topic of inquiry, and to attempt to capture

the experience of divine guidance through the replication of the conditions under which it

has been known to occur. The execution of this approach was accomplished by using

guidance methods and practices to guide all aspects of this inquiry, including the focusing

of the emerging topic of inquiry, and the choosing of as well as implementation of the most

suitable data collection and treatment methods and techniques.

We know a thing only by uniting with it; by assimilating it;

by an interpenetration of it and ourselves . . . . Wisdom is the fruit of communion.

—Evelyn Underhill (1915, p. 4)

The following section discusses the methods that emerged from this guidance-based

approach and their application during this inquiry. A more detailed discussion of validity

issues is presented in the subsequent section.

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Methods

What is valued in the Way is its formlessness. Be formless, and you cannot be repressed or oppressed.

—Huai-nan tzu, 179-122 BCE (Cleary, 1990, p. 65)

Several qualitative methods of inquiry organically emerged (see above) and were

blended together in this research process, including heuristic research, spiritual inquiry,

semistructured interviews, and grounded theory based data analysis. The heuristic research

method was primarily used during the preliminary phase of the research to develop the

questions and topics of discussion for the interview phase of the inquiry (see Appendix D).

The interview data were then analyzed with qualitative content analysis techniques based

on the grounded theory method. Spiritual inquiry methods and techniques were utilized

throughout all phases of research to both augment the other methods and help guide the

entire research process.

The blended method approach has been used in numerous studies as a means of

expanding the range of investigation and observation by employing “complementary ways

of knowing, being, and expression” (Braud, 1998, p. 35). The methods blended together for

this inquiry were allowed to emerge out of the guidance-based organic process of this

inquiry itself in keeping with the above mentioned research stance. All of these methods are

also emergent by nature in that they emphasize the observation of experience and the

development of understandings out of this observation, as opposed to methods that

emphasize hypothesis testing (Glaser, 1992; Moustakas, 1990; Rothberg, 1994).

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Heuristic Research

The general research process of self-inquiry utilized in this study is a form of

heuristic self-inquiry. This process of self-inquiry is a deep inner exploration of the topic of

inquiry, using the researcher as a research instrument (Moustakas, 1990; Tesch, 1990).

There is a total involvement of the researcher, and all forms of knowing yield inputs into the study—the researcher’s experiences, the reports of others, published findings, insights from novels and poetry, and insights from the researcher’s dreams and other states of consciousness. (Braud & Anderson, 1998, p. 266)

The basic pattern of this self-inquiry follows the six phases of heuristic research.

The six phases are initial engagement, immersion, incubation, illumination, explication, and

creative synthesis (Moustakas, 1990). Initial engagement is the discovery of the “topic,

theme, or question that represents a critical interest and area of search” (p. 27) within the

researcher. “Once the question is discovered and its terms defined and clarified, the

researcher lives the question in waking, sleeping, and even dream states” (p. 28). This is the

process of immersion.

Next comes the incubation process in which “the researcher retreats from the

intense, concentrated focus on the question” (p. 28), and lets the information attained from

the immersion process incubate within. Illumination naturally rises out of the incubation

process “when the researcher is open and receptive to tacit knowledge and intuition” (p.

28).

The researcher then enters the explication phase, examining “what has awakened in

consciousness, in order to understand its various layers of meaning” (p. 31). This phase is

followed by the process of creative synthesis, in which the researcher attempts to synthesize

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the material through a creative form such as writing, poetry, drawing, painting, and other

means of creative expression (p. 32).

These phases, excluding initial engagement, which occurred at the beginning of this

inquiry (see Appendix B, lines 21-54), have been performed in cycles throughout the self-

inquiry phase of research, and were also used periodically during the other phases of this

inquiry. This cycling manifested in the form of researcher immersion in the literature, and

in the researcher’s own self-reflection and self-experimentation processes.

Periods of immersion were followed by periods of incubation or time-outs from the

areas or processes being explored. These incubation periods also incorporated various

nontopic related activities designed to stimulate and nurture the emergence of illumination,

including walks on the beach, going to a museum, watching movies, meditation, drawing,

and movement practices.

Once illumination occurred, the thoughts and perceptions associated with the

illumination were explored and analyzed, and then expressed and synthesized through

writing, poetry, drawing, or some other creative form. Following the explication and

synthesis of the particular aspect or process being explored, the cycle would begin again

with immersion into another aspect or process related to the topic of inquiry.

Often several of these heuristic cycles would be occurring simultaneously as

various aspects and processes of the topic were explored concurrently. Additionally, a

weekly period of incubation was established throughout the entire research process in the

form of the observance practice of the Judaic Sabbath. This weekly practice included the

setting aside of a full 24-hour period, from sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday, for

Judaic Sabbath rituals, scripture studies, and extended mindfulness practices.

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The phases of heuristic research ultimately lead to the presentation of the findings in

four different forms: “Individual depictions, a comprehensive [composite] depiction, two or

three exemplary individual portraits, and a creative synthesis” (Moustakas, 1990, p. 54).

Individual depictions are developed for each coresearcher by combining their transcribed

interview “with other available data, such as journals, diaries, and personal documents” (p.

61). A comprehensive composite depiction is constructed by distilling “the qualities, core

themes, and essences that permeate the experience of the entire group of coresearchers” (p.

68) into a universal description of the experience. Select exemplary portraits are created by

supplementing several individual depictions with “demographic and autobiographical

material collected during the . . . collection of data” (p. 76). Finally, “the researcher is

challenged to put the components and core themes into a creative synthesis,” (p. 32) which

is expressed in some creative form.

Through the use of research guidance procedures (see below), two of these four

heuristic presentation methods, composite depiction and creative synthesis, organically

emerged during the data treatment phase of this inquiry. The other two presentation

methods, individual depictions and exemplary portraits, did not appear to fit this particular

inquiry, and were therefore not utilized.

Spiritual Inquiry

Within the framework of heuristic self-inquiry, methods of spiritual inquiry were

also employed to deepen researcher immersion into the topic of inquiry. Spiritual inquiry is

a form of inquiry that utilizes methods of spiritual study and practice to experientially

explore the realm of the spirit. The spiritual inquiry methods used in this study included

researcher self-reflection on the topic through the creation of a spiritual autobiography (see

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Appendix B), and researcher self-experimentation with the topic through the testing of

various purification and guidance methods and practices throughout the entire research

process (see Appendix C).

Spiritual inquiry in general is a method used in many spiritual traditions. It is specifically an introspective stance one may take to investigate one’s inner experience and to help realize one’s true nature. When practicing spiritual inquiry, one inquires into the very foundation of one’s identity, consciousness, and life meaning. In many forms of such inquiry, one attends with clear and single-minded awareness to what actually unfolds at successive moments of experience. (Vaughan & Wittine, 1994, p. 42)

Donald Rothberg (1994) observes that these spiritual approaches to inquiry “seem

to have many of the qualities of inquiry found in the natural and human sciences . . . [being]

open and non-dogmatic, rooted in observation, methodical, systematic, critical, and/or

intersubjective” (p. 4). Rothberg also notes that these methods “seem to go considerably

beyond the contemporary sciences, in that they have to do with ways of knowing, access to

domains of reality, and transformative practices not currently understood as science” (p.4).

This suggests “the possibility of a significantly expanded understanding of inquiry and

knowledge” (p. 4).

Rothberg classifies five general types of spiritual inquiry: systematic contemplation;

radical questioning; metaphysical thinking; metaphysical and conceptual deconstruction;

and the cultivation of visionary capabilities (1994). In systematic contemplation, “the

inquirer cultivates the ability to be ‘present’ with the phenomena of human experience in

their breadth and depth . . . and commonly uses exercises and conceptual models to help

initially access particular dimensions of experience” (1994, p. 4). Radical questioning is

“the art of asking fundamental . . . questions as a path of ethical and spiritual learning

leading to the deepest spiritual insights” (p. 5), as in the dialectic practices of the Platonic

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and Socratic traditions. Metaphysical thinking is an attempt “to further spiritual

understanding through intellectual analysis, synthesis, and speculation concerning the

nature of human experience, the nature of the mind and knowing, the structure of reality,

and spiritual development” (p. 6). Spiritual inquiries using metaphysical and conceptual

deconstruction are “methodical inquiries in which the focus is on an undoing of established

metaphysical and other belief systems, in the interests of making possible the deepest

spiritual insights . . . and . . . in order to know in a different way” (p. 6). The cultivation of

visionary capabilities through spiritual practices is a form of spiritual inquiry that seeks

spiritual knowledge and understanding from revelatory experiences like visions, dreams,

inner voices, and other forms of guidance from a spiritual source (1994).

All five types of spiritual inquiry were utilized in this study to varying degrees.

This was accomplished through the use of spiritual-inquiry-based researcher self-

experimentation methods and the radical questioning process utilized in the interviews with

the coresearchers (see below and Appendix C for further details).

Grounded Theory

During the data treatment phase of research, the edited and reviewed transcripts

from the coresearcher interviews were entered into the ATLAS.ti qualitative data analysis

program (Muhr, 2003) for a thematic content analysis drawing on the grounded theory

approach, which is “a general methodology of analysis . . . that uses a systematically

applied set of methods to generate an inductive theory about a substantive area” (Glaser,

1992, p. 16). The researcher following this inductive approach “begins with no preexisting

theory, hypothesis, or expectation of findings but rather permits a theory to emerge directly

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from the data—that is, the theory is grounded in the data” (Braud & Anderson, 1998, pp.

276-277).

This emergence of a grounded theory is accomplished through the overlapping

phases of data collection, note taking, coding, memoing, sorting, and reporting (Dick, 2000;

Glaser & Straus, 1967). Quotations from the textual data from the data collection

(interviews) and note taking processes are coded for content. Insights and understandings

that arise during the coding process are put into memos, which are then linked to both the

quotations and the codes attached to them. Then the quotations, codes, and memos are

sorted by linking them into relational networks. Finally, the content relations are built into a

theory and reported in written and/or visual notation format (Glaser & Straus, 1967; Muhr,

2003). This “amalgam of systematic coding, data analysis and theoretical sampling

procedures . . . enables the researcher to make interpretive sense . . . of the diverse

patterning in the data by developing theoretical ideas at a higher level of abstraction than

the initial data descriptions” (Haig, 1996, Theory Generation section, ¶ 4).

While this research method traditionally includes simultaneous data collection and

analysis, the grounded theory based approach of the ATLAS.ti program used for this

inquiry allows for the application of grounded theory data analysis both during and/or after

the data collection process. While this method emerged organically during the data

treatment process, and was specifically used after all the interview data were collected, an

unstructured form of grounded theory building was employed during the self-inquiry phase

to develop the interview questions. These questions, developed from patterns observed

within the literature and from the researcher’s self-reflection process, acted as a type of

theory building/testing template to help guide the interview process (see below).

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Validity

Validity has to do with whether one’s findings or conclusions are faithful or true to what one is studying.

(Braud & Anderson, 1998, p. 213)

The issue of internal and external validity has been addressed primarily through the

integration of the research method with the topic of inquiry to establish coherence between

the domain being studied and the instruments or methods used to study it. Renowned

philosopher and physicist David Bohm believed that this sense of coherence between the

subject of observation and the instruments of observation is a foundation for valid scientific

inquiry (1980). In the specific domain of this inquiry, that of spirituality, many theorists

have called for the use of a form of spiritual inquiry as a way of establishing this coherence

(Deikman, 1982; Needleman, 1976; Rothberg, 1994; Tart, 1972; Weber, 1986). Validity in

this domain of spiritual inquiry is based more on the “fruits of the experience” as opposed

to the criteria of objective observation and repeatability that are the usual hallmarks of the

physical sciences (Rothberg, 1994).

Integral and transpersonal theorist Ken Wilber has proposed that there are three

valid strands or components of data accumulation and verification that are the foundation of

all forms of scientific inquiry. Wilber calls these three components the injunctive,

apprehensive, and communal. “The injunctive strand demands that, for whatever type of

knowledge, the appropriate eye must be trained until it can be adequate to illumination”

(Wilber, 1983, p. 32). Once we have prepared and trained the eye to see, then we use the

trained eye to look and apprehend. Once we apprehend, then we “communally compare and

confirm” (p. 33).

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The research method I utilized for this study adheres to these three strands. I began

with training my eye through self-inquiry, a review of the literature, and spiritual practice. I

used this trained eye to observe my own experience, and then accessed the communal

through the interviews with the coresearchers. Through the blending of methods and

practices, I utilized multiple ways of perceiving and expressing to extend the breadth and

depth of my observational field in hopes of implicitly grasping a larger and more valid

picture of the topic of inquiry.

All our different ways of thinking are to be considered as different ways of looking at the one reality, each with some domain in which it is clear and adequate. One may indeed compare a theory to a particular view of some object. Each view gives only an appearance of the object in some aspect. The whole object is not perceived in any one view but, rather, it is grasped only implicitly as that single reality which is shown in all these views. (Bohm, 1980, pp. 7-8, italics in original)

The guidance and discernment techniques used throughout this inquiry were

designed to address specific and general challenges of validity. Additional strategies that

were intended to address validity included prolonged engagement; continual mindfulness;

persistent observation; reality testing; coresearcher reviews of their own material; and the

triangulation of text, self, and other as sources of information.

Coresearchers

Nine coresearchers (CRs) were selected for this study in accordance with the

following selection criteria and procedures. Demographic information is included at the end

of this section, and individual coresearcher profiles can be found in Appendix E.

Selection Criteria

The criteria for the selection of coresearchers included individuals who were

psychologically healthy; had several years of extensive personal experience with the topic

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of inquiry; were considered teachers, elders, and/or experts within their field and/or

traditions; were highly regarded and respected by their peers; had demonstrated a

comprehensive knowledge of their individual tradition(s), and an ability to articulate this

knowledge and express their own inner awareness and process. Additional selection

criteria included an effort toward gender, cultural, and religious tradition diversity, and

local availability.

Selection Procedures

The coresearcher selection process began with letters of invitation (see Appendix F)

being sent to known spiritual teachers and practitioners who fit the selection criteria. These

teachers and practitioners were either familiar to myself, and/or were found through the

referral of other qualified teachers and practitioners. The use of personal guidance practices,

and the observation of leads and signs were also employed in conjunction with the

confirmation of selection criteria through initial phone contact, researcher past experience

with the potential coresearcher, and/or confirmation of selection criteria by their peers.

Included with the letters of invitation were a reply form (see Appendix G) and a

letter of consent (see Appendix H) that were to be filled out and returned. Follow-up phone

contact was then established in which questions were raised and answered by both parties,

and a final decision was made on coresearcher involvement. When coresearcher

involvement was confirmed, an interview session was scheduled.

Confidentiality and Consent

All the coresearchers signed the letter of consent (see Appendix H) prior to the

beginning of their interview sessions. While only 1 out of the 9 coresearchers chose to

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retain confidentiality, all reference to the individual coresearchers in this study is expressed

by a coresearcher number (CR:001 to CR:009).

Demographics

The 9 coresearchers selected for this study were between the ages of 52 and 74

years of age, with a mean age of 59.11 years. Five are men and 4 are women. Nine out of 9

coresearchers are teachers in their respective traditions; 7 out of 9 are published authors;

and 6 out of 9 hold official religious ordinations. The number of years of advanced practice,

teaching, and/or ordination reported by the coresearchers ranged between 9 and 36 years,

with a mean of 21.66 years of advanced standing in their respective traditions. Additionally,

5 of the coresearchers reported holding advanced degrees: 3 hold Ph.D.s in Psychology

(CR:001, CR:002, & CR:006), 1 holds a Ph.D. in Theology (CR:005), and 1 holds an M.D.

in Psychiatry (CR:007).

Seven different religious traditions and psycho-spiritual systems are represented by

the 9 coresearchers: Christianity (2/9), Judaism (2/9), Islam/Sufism (1/9), Hinduism/Self-

Realization (1/9), Native American Shamanism (1/9), A Course in Miracles (1/9), and

Psychosynthesis (1/9). Four out of the 9 coresearchers had changed traditions from their

religions of origin (see Table 3): Three out of 9 coresearchers were born within the

Christian tradition; 5 out of 9 were born within the Jewish tradition; and 1 was born within

the Native American tradition. Eight out of 9 of the coresearchers were born in the United

States, while 1 was born in Ireland with Celtic ancestry. See Appendix E for further details

on each participant and their respective traditions.

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Table 3 Coresearcher Reported Traditions and Practices CR Tradition of Origin Current Traditions and Practices Ordination 001 Protestant/Quaker Psychosynthesis (Catholicism) 002 Judaism Islam/Sufism (Aikido) Sufi Sheikh 003 Lakota Sioux Lakota Sioux/Shamanism 004 Conservative Judaism Renewal Judaism/Kabbalah Rabbi 005 Catholicism Catholicism/Sisters of Mercy Nun 006 Catholicism/Celtic Catholicism Priest 007 Judaism A Course in Miracles 008 Judaism Self-Realization/Hinduism Minister 009 Reform Judaism Renewal/Reconstructionist Judaism Rabbi

Note. CR = Coresearcher. Coresearchers 001 and 002 had dual practices; a practice primarily discussed during the interview and a secondary practice that was briefly discussed.

Research Process

The research process of this inquiry consisted of three general phases: researcher

self-inquiry, interviews with coresearchers, and data treatment. The researcher self-inquiry

phase consisted of researcher immersion in the topic of inquiry leading to the development

of the questions to be used for the interview phase. The interview phase included

semistructured in-depth interviews with 9 coresearchers. The data from the coresearcher

interviews were then analyzed in a data treatment phase. While these three phases were

performed in mostly linear progression, the self-inquiry phase continued throughout the

entire research process.

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Researcher Self-Inquiry

As previously stated, the phase of researcher self-inquiry consisted of a process of

heuristic and spiritual self-inquiry. Included were the researcher’s immersion in the

literature related to the topic of inquiry; researcher self-reflection on the topic through the

creation of a spiritual autobiography; and researcher self-experimentation with the topic

through the testing of various guidance methods and practices.

Topic Immersion

Researcher immersion in the topic included an extensive process of immersion in

the literature related to the topic of inquiry. Over 350 topic related primary journal articles,

books, and dissertations obtained from nine primary literature databases from the fields of

anthropology, medicine, psychology, religion, and sociology were reviewed (ATLA

Religion Database, 1949-2004; Cross-Cultural Index, 1802-1985; Dissertation Abstracts,

1861-2004; ERIC, 1966-2004; Library of Congress, 1812-2004; MEDLINE, 1966-2004;

Philosopher’s Index, 1940-2004; PsychINFO, 1840-2004; Sociological Abstracts, 1963-

2004). In addition to the theoretical views, historical accounts, and empirical findings

explored in this review of the primary literature, a thorough review of religious narratives,

teaching stories, sacred poetry and prose, and teachings from various spiritual and religious

traditions was also undertaken.

Self-Reflection

Concurrent with researcher immersion in the literature, the spiritual inquiry self-

reflection process of creating a spiritual autobiography (Erickson, 1998; Morgan, 1996;

Wakefield, 1990) was employed by the researcher to deepen the immersion process. This

process uses the method of searching “for God in time and memory” (Dunne, 1967, p. vii)

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through the exploration of one’s own spiritual life experiences. This exploration takes the

form of a spiritual autobiography in which one tells and explores the stories of one’s

experiences of the Divine. Within this process of spiritual autobiography, one also “passes

over” from one’s own story to the story of others and to the literature of the spirit.

This is ultimately how he brings time to mind, how he searches through time and memory, for passing over avails him of the time and memory of others, and coming back leaves his own time and memory enriched. In this process he goes from man’s time, the time of life stories, to God’s time, the greater and encompassing time which is that of the stories of God, and he experiences companionship with God in time. He discovers in this the greater dimensions of man, those which reach beyond the self and the individual life story. And he discovers the face underlying all, that of the compassionate God. (Dunne, 1967, p. xi)

This method of spiritual inquiry has arisen out of the field of narrative theology,

which is the study of theology as it is expressed in narrative form (Goldberg, 1981). The

narrative or the story has been, and continues to be, one of the most essential means by

which religious and spiritual values, ideals, and understanding are imparted and explored

(Alter, 1981; Dunne, 1967; Goldberg, 1981).

Reflecting on one’s own past experiences of divine contact is also believed to be an

essential part of the process of learning to seek divine guidance (Ochs & Olitzky, 1997;

Smith, 1983). For centuries, saints and mystics have used spiritual autobiography to deepen

their experience of God and to share their experiences with others (Goldberg, 1981; Stroup,

1981). One of the foundations of this approach is the notion that

The basic interior measuring rod for discerning spirits is the whole history and shape of a person’s relationship with God. This relationship must therefore be known by constant prayer and meditation and return to the springs of first grace. (Fleming, 1983, p. 232)

As the researcher, I have attempted to return to the “springs of first grace” of my

own life through the creation of my spiritual autobiography. My story includes the early

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spiritual experiences in my life; my experiences with various spiritual and psycho-spiritual

traditions, theories, and practices; and my experiences during this research exploration (see

Appendix B). My writing method followed the cycling of the heuristic phases as I engaged

in each chapter of my experience through immersion, incubation, illumination, explication,

and creative synthesis. By “passing over” between the creation of my spiritual

autobiography and my immersion in the literature, I was able to deepen my experience and

understanding of my self and the topic, and also discover major issues, patterns, and themes

that would ultimately become the questions for the interviews (see below and Appendix D).

Self-Experimentation

Researcher self-experimentation with the topic through the testing of various

spiritual methods and practices has been employed throughout the entire research process in

order to capture the experience of divine guidance through the replication of the conditions

under which it has been known to occur. These spiritual methods and practices were used

as researcher self-experimentation methods to guide all aspects of this research including

the focusing of the emerging topic of inquiry, and the choosing of and implementation of

the most suitable data collection and analysis procedures.

Forty major researcher self-experimentation methods were experimented with at

various stages of this inquiry (see Chapter 4 and Appendix C). A number of these methods

were used throughout all phases of the study while others were only employed in one or

two phases. The timing and length of use of the methods was dependent on guidance

received by the methods themselves, and through the observation of inner promptings,

external signs, and synchronicities. The methods were utilized in my everyday personal life

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as well as being used directly within this research process, establishing a field of total topic

immersion or lived inquiry (Heron, 1998).

By lived inquiry, I mean simply the active, innovative and examined life, which seeks to both transform and understand more deeply the human condition. . . . It involves . . . being open to . . . immediate revelation, . . . inner living impulses, . . . [and] being committed to creative and disciplined spiritual practice . . . [and] the disciplined passion of inquiring engagement with the subtle and phenomenal worlds. (Heron, 1998, p. 17)

The self-experimentation methods utilized in this process of “lived inquiry” have

come from a variety of traditions including Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism,

Buddhism, Taoism, Shamanism, Western and Eastern schools of divination, and various

metaphysical and esoteric traditions. They include spiritual methods and practices used for

processes of guidance (G), divination (DIV), purification (PUR), and preparation or set and

setting (SS). Some methods were used for a single process, while others were utilized for

several of these processes at once.

Each self-experimentation method utilized in this study also correspond to one or

more of Rothberg’s five general types of spiritual inquiry (1994). Collectively, these self-

experimentation methods represent four out of the five types of spiritual inquiry mentioned

by Rothberg (1994) including systematic contemplation (SC), metaphysical thinking (MT),

metaphysical deconstruction (MD), and the cultivation of visionary capabilities (CVC). The

fifth type, radical questioning, is utilized in the interview phase of this inquiry (see below).

A daily research and guidance experience journal was kept by the researcher, and a

final self-evaluation of the self-experimentation process was implemented following the

completion of the data treatment phase. Evaluation of the 40 major methods experimented

with during this study included the assessment of the phase(s) of inquiry within which the

method was employed; the processes the method was used for (see above); the type(s) of

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spiritual inquiry represented by the method (Rothberg, 1994); the number of years of

researcher’s training and practice with the method prior to research implementation; and the

perceived effect of the usage of the method in the research process and in the researcher’s

personal life. See Chapter 4 and Table L29 for the results of this self-evaluation, and

Appendix C for a brief review of each method and its usage.

Interviews

It is up to us to take up the challenge of encounter, the adventure of meeting, the mystery of embracing.

It is up to us to love and bring love into the world.

(Shapiro, 1989, p. 43)

The interview phase of the research consisted of semistructured in-depth interviews

with 9 advanced spiritual teachers and practitioners from seven different spiritual traditions

who were questioned in regard to their personal experiences, perceptions, and

understanding of the experience of divine guidance. The following is a review of the

questions, instruments, techniques, environments, and procedures involved in this phase of

the inquiry.

Questions

The research questions used for the interviews with the coresearchers were

developed during the self-inquiry phase of research. As previously discussed, this self-

inquiry process included researcher immersion in the literature related to the topic of

inquiry; researcher self-reflection on the topic through the creation of a spiritual

autobiography; and researcher self-experimentation with the topic through the testing of

various guidance methods and practices. During this self-inquiry phase common themes

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and patterns from the review of the literature, and from the researcher self-reflection and

self-experimentation processes were noted and collected by the researcher.

The common themes and patterns revealed in this self-inquiry phase included: A

narrative quality of experience; common patterns and core issues related to the experience,

including three possible stages or categories of the experience (seeking, receiving, and

following); contributing factors that brought on the experience; tools, practices, and

techniques used to create the experience; forms of the communication received in the

experience; qualities of the experience received; discernment of the experience received;

obstacles to seeking, receiving, and following the experience; incorporation of the


or fruits of the experience. These themes and patterns were then translated into the

questions and topics of discussion used as the general guidelines for the semistructured

interviews with the 9 coresearchers (see Appendix D).

Instruments and Techniques

The interviews were recorded on both video and audiotape, and researcher

observation notes were recorded on audiotape following each interview. The video

recording equipment used during the interviews included a Sony TRV-900 MiniDV

camcorder with a tripod, remote control unit, and two Sony ECM-44B lapel microphones,

one for the researcher and one for the coresearcher. The audio recording equipment

included a Marantz PMD221 audiocassette recorder and an Audio-Technica AT851a omni-

directional microphone.

The semistructured approach to the interviews consisted of the use of the above-

mentioned questions (see Appendix D) that had arisen out of the researcher self-inquiry

93

phase of research. These structured questions were combined with “a spontaneous

generation of questions and conversations in which . . . [researcher and coresearcher

participated] . . . in a natural, unfolding dialogue” (Moustakas, 1990, p. 47).

A 16-step interview guidance protocol script was created and implemented for the

interviews to help guide and ground the process in the topic of inquiry (see Appendix I).

This protocol included the implementation of researcher guidance meditations and prayers

before, during, and following each interview, along with basic procedural guidelines.

Additional procedures included the researcher’s daily self-experimentation practices (see

Appendix C), and a general researcher interview stance of holding each encounter with the

coresearchers as a “holy encounter” in which all parties had something to give and to

receive.

This “interview as holy encounter” researcher stance reflects the reverential dyadic

approaches of the Course in Miracles (1996) and Martin Buber’s “I-Thou” relationship

dialectic (1958); both of which put forth the idea that through a conscious shift in

perception an interaction between two or more individuals can transcend the normally

perceived sense of separateness and open the individuals to a sacred encounter with a divine

other (Buber, 1958; Course in Miracles, 1996). This “holy encounter” stance was

established by the inclusion of several key Course in Miracles guidance meditations in the

interview guidance protocol script (see Appendix I), and through periodic shifts in

researcher attention toward an “I-Thou” perspective in which I, the researcher, held the

coresearcher as the “divine other.”

94

If I face a human being as my Thou, and say the primary word I-Thou to him, he is not a thing among things, and does not consist of things. Thus, human being is not He or She, bounded from every other He or She, a specific point in space and time within the net of the world. . . . But with no neighbor, and whole to himself, he is Thou and fills the heavens. (Buber, 1958, p. 8, italics in original)

This process of holding the coresearcher as “divine other,” and the interview as a

“holy encounter” with this “divine other,” was utilized as a means of extending the basic

research stance of allowing the Divine to lead this research by attempting to create an

invitational field for the Divine to enter the interview process.

When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him you will see yourself. As you treat him you will treat yourself. As you think of him you will think of yourself. Never forget this for in him you will find yourself or loose yourself. (Course in Miracles, 1996, Text, p. 142)

Environments

The interviews were all held at locations selected by the coresearchers themselves.

Five out of the nine interviews (5/9) were held at the coresearcher’s homes, either in their

home counseling offices (2/5), their living rooms (2/5), or their backyard (1/5). Two out of

the nine interviews (2/9) were held at the coresearcher’s place of spiritual worship and

practice; one interview (1/9) was held at the coresearcher’s counseling office; and one

interview (1/9) was held at the coresearcher’s daughter’s apartment. All the interviews were

limited to the researcher and coresearcher for privacy. The positioning of the interview

within the location was jointly discerned by attempting to balance the researcher’s guidance

and technical needs (lighting, camera placement), and the coresearcher’s comfort and

guidance.

95

Procedures

The general procedures for the interview process included the coresearcher

selection procedures; researcher pre and postinterview guidance practices; the interview

process itself; and researcher observation notes. The procedures of the coresearcher

selection process, as detailed above, were employed prior to all the interviews. Researcher

guidance practices were performed before, during, and after each interview, and included

the use of the previously discussed researcher self-experimentation methods (see also

Appendix C and I). The application of these methods included daily rituals and practices, as

well as practices targeted specifically to create the appropriate set and setting for the

interview encounters.

Each interview was guided by the previously mentioned 16-step interview guidance

protocol script (see Appendix I) and included initial researcher and coresearcher greetings;

final process clarifications; researcher and coresearcher interview location selection; audio

and video equipment setup; invitation for an opening practice; question and answer session

with silent researcher guidance practices; invitation for a closing practice; and concluding

comments and clarifications. This interview guidance protocol script was used as a general

guideline, allowing for shifts in direction discerned by the reception of perceived researcher

guidance from both internal and external cues.

Researcher observation notes were made following each interview using an

audiocassette recorder. Observation notes procedural guidelines included a brief description

of the interview encounter; observations of researcher physical, emotional, mental, and

intuitive responses to the situation; notation of any experiences of guidance received during

the encounter; notation of any insights into patterns of experience related to the topic of

96

inquiry; observations of any expectations and/or assumptions that arose or were challenged

during the encounter; and notation of any thoughts and/or feelings of having received

needed lessons or gifts from the encounter.

Data Treatment

The data treatment phase of inquiry followed the interview phase. This phase

consisted of the transcription and review of the data collected during the interview phase,

and the analysis and synthesis of this data. The following is a review of the instruments,

techniques, and procedures utilized during this phase of inquiry.

Instruments and Techniques

The audio recordings of the coresearcher interviews and researcher observation

notes were used for data transcription purposes, and the video recordings were utilized for

postinterview visual analysis of the interview process. The audio transcriptions were

transcribed into text file format by a transcription service, and then transferred by the

researcher into the ATLAS.ti qualitative research computer program for grounded theory

based content analysis (Muhr, 2003). Throughout the data analysis process, the

coresearcher videotapes were used for clarification of textual data, and for visual analysis of

the experiential process of the interviews.

The ATLAS.ti computer program (Muhr, 2003) used for the analysis of the data

employs a textual and graphical interface to assist the researcher in the analysis of

qualitative data, and in the discovery of emergent or grounded theories from that data (see

Figure 2). The program has two principal modes of operation, textual and conceptual levels

of work. “The textual level includes activities like segmentation of data files, coding of text

. . . and the writing of memos. The conceptual level focuses on model building activities

97

such as linking codes to form semantic networks” (Muhr, 1997, p. 7). These two modes of

operation are performed within the program’s methodology of object-oriented visualization;

systematic integration of textual and conceptual levels of data; open and intuitive data

browsing; and exploratory or discovery oriented data handing procedures (Muhr, 2003).

Figure 2. Screenshot of ATLAS.ti Qualitative Content Analysis Program. The left-hand

window displays the numbered interview transcript; highlighted text is a selected

quotation; and the right-hand window displays related codes and memos.

Note. From ATLAS.ti (Version 5.0) [Computer Software] by T. Muhr, 2003. Reprint permission granted in software license agreement.

98

Procedures

The data treatment process began with the transcription of the audiotapes of the

interviews and observation notes. The researcher edited the transcripts for grammar and

length, and the coresearchers reviewed their own edited interview transcriptions. The edited

and reviewed transcripts were subsequently entered into the ATLAS.ti qualitative data

analysis program (Muhr, 2003) for a thematic content analysis drawing on the grounded

theory approach (see above).

The digitized transcripts of the interviews and the researcher’s observation notes

were converted to primary documents with line numbers (see Appendixes J and K), and

then analyzed for content by separating the text into numbered quotations and coding each

of these quotations for content (i.e., inner voice). These codes were analyzed for content

relationships (i.e., inner voice <is-a> form of communication), and then organized into

thematic content families of relational connectedness (i.e., inner voice <is-a> form <is-

associated-with> receiving). The code-to-code links representing these content

relationships included indicators of either transitive (directional) and symmetric

(associative) descriptive semantic patterns (Muhr, 2003), as in the above examples.

Transitive (directional) descriptive patterns included statements inferring that A <is-a> B,

A <is-part-of> B ([]), and/or A <is-a-cause-of> B (=>); and symmetric (associative)

descriptive patterns included statements inferring that A <is-associated-with> B (==),

and/or A <is-changed-by> B. The diagram in Figure 3 displays the graphical process of this

level of content analysis.

During this coding process, observations of patterns and issues were recorded as

memos, which were then linked to related quotations, codes, and other memos (see Figure

99

4). The codes (inner voice, divine flow, etc.) and their code families (form, receiving, etc.)

were then graphically mapped through a process of visual object relationship semantic

networking (see Figure 5). The semantic networks were then analyzed for emergent

theories and patterns, which then were mapped out in other more focused semantic

networks (see Figure 6).

isa

=>

==

==

Inner Voice {17-1}

[3:53][387] This was about twoweeks ago a..--------------------Thiswas about two weeks ago and Ihear in me, "Remember Yacob,remember Yacob at the base ofthe tree. Dror needs to see whatthe new dream is." This is what Ihear just as clear as I'mspeaking to you.

P 3: Interview 003

Form {63-32}

Receiving {76-27}

Source {142-47}

Figure 3. Content Coding Diagram illustrating the process of coding extracted

quotations [3:53] from primary documents (P3). Quotations [3:53] are selected from

the transcribed interview transcripts, which are assigned and numbered by the

program as primary documents (P3=CR:003); each quotation is coded; codes related

to quotations are then linked to other codes. In this case, a data segment or quotation

(3:53) is extracted from the transcript of the interview with coresearcher 003 (P3);

this data segment is then coded for content (Inner Voice) and then connected to

related codes and code families (Form—Receiving—Source). The number of links

100

and relationships for each code ({17-1}) is then calculated and compared for

agreement, groundedness, and density (see below and Appendix L).

==

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[5:37][23] It's also like a riverflowing..--------------------It's also like a river flowingdeep within me that I could dipinto at anytime and say "Here Iam again God and I am so clearabout your wanting me foryourself."

P 5: Interview 005

Divine Flow {17-4}

Guidance as Divine FlowGuidance as being in harmony

with the Divine flow and a practiceto always be in tune with the

Divine (Superconscious Self) - asa radio tuning into the Divine

frequency; becoming aninstrument of Divine Love.

Effects {53-102}

Form {63-32}

Guidance as Inner RiverGuidance as a dipping into a

Divine Inner River.

Qualities {46-41}

Metaphors of Divine EncounterEach coresearcher appeared to

have a metaphor to represent theirexperience of divine encounter.While each one had a unique

metaphor, these metaphors wereoften shared by other

coresearchers as additionalmetaphors within their linguistic

lexicon. These coresearchermetaphors appeared to be

experienced by the researcherthrough some kind of mimicking or

resonant learning process.

Receiving {76-27}

Figure 4. Content Memoing Diagram illustrating the process of memoing during the

coding of quotations to note emerging patterns and theories. During the coding process,

emerging patterns and theories are noted in the form of memos, which are created and

then related (linked) to relevant quotations, codes, primary documents, and other memos.

101

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Calling

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Contributing Factors

Discernment

Divination

Divine Flow

Dreams

Energetic-Sense

Faith

Felt-Sense

Following

Form Effects

Incorporation

Inner Dictation

Inner Voice

IntuitionObstacles

Outer Voice

Preparation

Presence

Purification

Qualities

Receiving

Seeking

Signs & Wonders

Source

Surrender

Synchronicities

Thought-Sense

Tools-Practices

Visions

Clarity

Consolation

Encouragement

Heart-Opening

Interconnectedness

Sense of Awe

Sense of Being Present

Sense of Calmness

Sense of Energy

Sense of Grace-Blessing

Sense of Gratitude

Sense of Harmony-Balance

Sense of Joy

Sense of Light

Sense of Love

Sense of Peace

Sense of Sacredness

Sense of Unselfconsciousness

Sense of Spontaneity

Sense of Timelessness

Sense of Union

Compassion

Healing

Inspiration

Life Changes-Transformation

Miracles

Revelation

Self-Reflection

Sense of Freedom

Sense of Goodness

Sense of Purpose-Direction

Sense of Satisfaction

Silence/Stillness

Spiritual Growth

Strength

Acceptance

Attachment

Authenticity

Awareness

Body Practices

Breathing

Centering

Chanting

Commitment

Contemplation

Courage

Divine Dialoguing

Doubt

Ego

Emotional Turmoil

Expectation

Fear

Judgment

Meditation

Mental Turmoil

Mindfulness

Nature Time

Perceptual Shift

Personal Constructs

Prayer/Blessing

Resistance to Change

Retreats

Right Action

Ritual

Sacred Objects

Sacred Space

Sacred Text

Spiritual Direction

Vision Quest

Visualization

Time and Space

Gathering Helpers

Logic-Reason

Not Following

Sacred Context

Transcendent Education

Voice of Nature

Angels

Forgiveness

Saints and Prophets

Will

Wisdom

Set and Setting

Divine Being

Divine Consciousness

Divine Father

Divine Force

Divine Mother

Earth Mother

God

Ground of Being

Higher Self

Nature Spirits

Spirit

Spirits

Confirmation of the Heart

Conformity of Experience

Detachment to Outcome

Effects of Experience

Extrication of Obstacles

Following Bliss

Level of Willingness

Recurrent Inquiry

Sense of Openness

Sense of Source

Test and Compare

Trial and Error

Attunement

Being Present

Being with What Is

Construct Transcendence

Creating the Space

Discernment Practice

Gratefulness

Guidance Practice

Inner Listening

Inspired Action

Openness to Receive

Sanctification

Waiting for an Answer

Watching for Signs

Spiritual Practice

Culture

Education-Study

EHE

Insight

Life Experience

Predisposition

Religious Experience

Effect-Centeredness~

Set-Constructs~

Peak Experience

Alignment

Authorization

Behavior Modification

Direction

Information

Warning

Content~

Activities AttributesMotives

Source-Constructs~

Source-Identity~

Life-Experience/Events~

Developmental-Factors~ Mediating-Factors~ Set-Setting~

Effort-and-Grace~

Impeding-Factors~

Source-Relationship~

Figure 5. Code Relationship Semantic Networking Diagram illustrating the process of

relating (linking) codes to other codes. Related (linked) codes are mapped out through a

process of visual object relationship semantic networking to help discern patterns of

relationships and code families. The above figure displays the final semantic

networking view for all the primary codes and their code families, and their patterns of

relationship, creating a visual map of the experience of divine guidance as reported by

the coresearchers. See Appendix M for a larger and more detailed view of this diagram.

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Activities {119-9}

Attributes {132-5}

Motives {103-8}

Content {*-15}~

Contributing Factors {28-21}

Discernment {54-35}

Following {76-22}

Form {63-32} Effects {53-102}

Incorporation {62-32}

Preparation {122-26} Purification {99-35} Qualities {46-41}

Receiving {76-27}Seeking {105-23}

Source {142-47}

Tools-Practices {98-81}

Developmental-Factors {*-20}~

Mediating-Factors {*-22}~

Impeding-Factors {*-16}~

Figure 6. Graphical Concept Semantic Networking Diagram illustrating the process of

concept and theory building by relating (linking) codes to other codes. Concepts,

theories, and patterns of relationships begin to emerge through the distillation of the

semantically networked code relationships and the process of graphical semantic

relationship building. The above figure is an illustration of the top 20 codes with the

highest degree of agreement, groundedness, and code density, and their relationships

with each other, graphically revealing primary categories, factors, and patterns of the

experience being studied.

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Concurrent with the graphical analysis of the data, all coded data were sorted by the

number of coresearchers identified with each code (agreement), the frequency of

occurrence of each code (groundedness), and the number of other codes linked with each

code (density). Codes with a higher degree of agreement (greater than 50% or 5 out of 9

coresearchers) indicate a higher probability of generality (general agreement); codes with a

higher degree of groundedness (code frequency) signify a greater probability of evidence;

and codes with higher degree of density (number of related codes) point to a greater

probability of theoretical significance (Muhr, 2003).

The primary sorting criterion for the thematic content analysis process of this

inquiry was code agreement (A), and the threshold for general code agreement was set for

nine out of 9 coresearchers (A = 9). The numerical values of a codes groundedness (G) and

density (D) were used as secondary sorting criteria to determine the degree of probable

evidence and theoretical significance of each code. A high degree of code groundedness

(G) was defined as those codes that were mentioned nine or more times by the

coresearchers as a group (G μ 9); and a high degree of code density (D) was defined as

those codes that had three or more other codes related to it (D μ 3). The combination of the

graphical mapping and the numerical sorting of the data produced the results of this inquiry

reported in the following chapter, and in Appendixes L and M.

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CHAPTER 4: RESEARCH FINDINGS

Only intuition, resting on sympathetic understanding of experience,

can [lead to discovery]. —Albert Einstein (1934, p. 22)

The findings in this chapter are the results from nine in-depth, semistructured

interviews with 9 long-term spiritual practitioners (coresearchers) from various psycho-

spiritual traditions for the purpose of eliciting their personal experiences, perceptions, and

understanding of the experience of divine guidance. The questions and topics of discussion

used for the interviews were discovered through a process of researcher self-inquiry (see

Chapter 3). The themes and patterns revealed in this self-inquiry phase included:

• A narrative quality of experience;

• Three possible categories of the experience (seeking, receiving, and following);

• Common patterns and core issues related to the experience;

• Contributing factors that brought on the experience;

• Tools, practices, and techniques used to create the experience;

• Forms of communication received in the experience;

• Qualities of the experience received;

• Discernment of the experience received;

• Obstacles to seeking, receiving, and following the experience;

• Incorporation of the experience into an individual’s life;

• Surrender as an aspect of the experience;

• Effects or fruits of the experience.

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These themes and patterns were then translated into the questions and topics of

discussion used as the general guidelines for the semistructured interviews with the 9

coresearchers (see Appendix D). These interviews were recorded, transcribed, edited,

reviewed, and then analyzed using the data collection and treatment procedures previously

described in Chapter 3.

The following findings are the interview data reported from this data collection and

treatment process, organized by the emergent categories, factors, and patterns revealed

through thematic content analysis. Tables for these categories, factors, and patterns can be

found in Appendix L; quotations from the coresearcher interviews are referenced by the

letters CR followed by coresearcher interview number and line numbers (e.g., CR:001:268-

269) from the full interview transcripts in Appendix J; and quotations from researcher

interview observation notes are referenced by the letters ION followed by coresearcher

interview number and line numbers (e.g., ION:001:12-32) from the full observation notes

transcripts in Appendix K.

Select words and phrases of the coresearcher quotations are italicized to highlight

relevant emerging themes and patterns; researcher inserted thematic words and phrases are

bracketed [ ] and italicized. Findings are grouped by the major structures (categories and

factors) of the experience reported by the coresearchers of this inquiry; reported

substructures of each of these major structures of experience are listed in the order of the

agreement (A), groundedness (G), and density (D) of each reported substructure (see

Chapter 3 and Appendix L).

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Categories of Experience

My experience is that when you walk this path, . . . seeking to be . . . related to spirit, seeking to receive, and seeking to follow, . . . the spirits [Source] come to us in the most blessed way possible. (CR:003:451-457)

Nine out of 9 coresearchers (9/9) reported experiencing all three categories of

seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance, along with a fourth major category of

experience, the perception of a Source (9/9) as the object of experience (see Table L1).

So a part of me is seeking God’s [Source] guidance, and finding God’s guidance, and listening to it [receiving], and following it through. (CR:006:10-12)

Their personal stories of their experiences of guidance had a significantly high

frequency of occurrence (groundedness) of all four categories (see Table L2), although the

order and demarcation between the categories of seeking, receiving, and following was not

always clear for them.

I began relating to this person named Jesus [Source] . . . I guess seeking him and being called by him are very similar. . . . You probably can’t seek unless you have some sense that there’s something calling you, something to be sought . . . like being at a mass and seeing Him come off the cross towards me. I really understood saints and their visions because it was clear that nobody else was seeing it. I was clear that it was an inner vision [receiving], but I could see it. It was fascinating. . . . It wasn’t the fact that I could see him externally; it was the fact that it was him, not the phenomenon. I mean the phenomenon was startling enough, but I’d had a lot of startling phenomenon. . . . What was significant here was that it was this guy who was this person who I knew, who was basically saying “hi,” and maybe even “keep coming.” [following] (CR:001:200-218)

Sometimes the seeking seemed to come after the receiving as a form of following,

and at other times they reported not being conscious of the seeking stage at all, though in

retrospect, most of them could see some form of seeking taking place, either through their

own experiences and efforts, or through divine grace (see Table L25).

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Certainly, the guidance is not initiated by me, even if I am seeking it. I think even in the seeking of the guidance God is already at work in that. (CR:005:317-319)

Source as Object of Experience

Do [my concepts of the Divine] help me come into relationship, or do they make me withdraw and stay away? (CR:001:35-37)

The most cited category of experience in relation to divine guidance was an

individual’s perceptions or constructs of the source of guidance as an object of the

experience, and how this perception affected all aspects of the guidance process. All 9

coresearchers (9/9) reported perceiving this Source as having an identity (object distinction)

with certain attributes (inherent characteristics), activities (functions and actions), and

motives (intentions) in relationship to the world in general and toward themselves in

particular (see Table L3). The term attributes, as reported, refers to the qualities or essential

nature that the coresearchers ascribed to the Source, as in “my perception of God is [that]

He or She is very, very close” (CR:001:223-224); activities refers to the actions they

attributed to the Source, as in “God had put a fresh heart in me” (CR:005:43); and motives

refers to the intentions they ascribed to the Source, as in “God the merciful and benevolent”

(CR:002:1-2).

In the name of God [identity], the merciful and benevolent [motives], the source of all love and support [attributes], Father and Mother, Creator, sustainer of all the universes upon universes [activities]; You who are present within us and all around us and yet who transcends all the universes; You who are before the before and after the after, bless us that we may speak the truth from our lips, that we may hear the truth with our ears and see the truth with our eyes. (CR:002:1-8)

While all 9 coresearchers used the word God (9/9) to identify the Source of their

guidance (identity), they each had additional ways of naming and perceiving this Source,

including Spirit (7/9); disincarnated saints and prophets (5/9); spirit manifested as Divine

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Mother and/or Divine Father (4/9); Divine Consciousness, Divine Being (3/9), nature

spirits, a Divine Force, angels (3/9); spirits, the energy of the Earth Mother, a transcendent

Ground of Being, and a Higher Self (1/9) (see Table L4).

My belief is that it is the Ground of Being, that it is a Spirit or spirit that holds creation . . . [and it] is something that’s very, very immediate, more immediate than I am. It’s not far away, it’s more here than I’m here right now. . . . To me this Divine is someone, some being, who knows me and loves me. . . . It is someone who can address me and guide me, whom I can trust and don’t need to be standoffish with or fearful of, because there’s an empathic connection. I feel that whoever this Divine is knows me better than I know myself. (CR:001:12-29)

All 9 coresearcher’s ways of perceiving this Source appear to have been developed

through the coresearcher’s personal, cultural, and/or religious experiences, and seem to be

greatly influenced by their spiritual tradition.

Being born in the Republic of Ireland, which is 95 percent Catholic, Catholicism was a really powerful influence in my life. . . . As a young child, a boy, and as a young man I really believed that the Catholic Church was the way, that it was God’s chosen path, and that the Pope was God’s representative here on planet Earth. As a young priest going to Africa, I was going to go and bring light to these people who were in darkness. [But] in Africa I very quickly began to realize that the African people in some senses were much more spiritual than I was because their spirituality wasn’t confined to liturgy or to a scriptural tradition or to an authority structure, it just permeated every aspect of their life from their cattle to their seasons to their understanding of nature. I began to realize that there are many many paths up the mountain. That was a big eye opener for me. Initially my way of looking for guidance would have been through Catholic structures; I would have been looking to Catholic tradition, Catholic scriptural understanding, and spiritual direction from other Catholic priests. Subsequently I began to try to access the wisdom in many different ways. (CR:006:203-222)

The Experience of Seeking

Part of the pattern would be the seeking and the praying and/or those incredible moments of God just coming and seeking me. (CR:005:319-321)

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All 9 coresearchers reported the general patterns or processes of preparation (9/9),

purification (9/9), and practices (9/9) within the experience of seeking divine guidance.

These patterns were reported as discrete yet interwoven processes deeply related to each

other: Preparation was reported as a process of seeking to prepare oneself to receive

guidance; purification was reported as the process of seeking to remove or “let go” of the

obstacles to receiving; and practices were reported as the means of achieving both

preparation and purification (see below and Table L5).

In terms of tools or practices to prepare myself to receive guidance, I think it’s an ongoing practice of letting go [purification], of being open to what comes . . . it’s putting myself into a state of receptivity. It’s letting go. Of course it’s easy to say and not so easy to do, but in essence it is simple. I think my preparation is my regular practice . . . praying, meditating, and reading scripture. (CR:002:251-258)

Additionally, all coresearchers (9/9) reported that the processes of preparation and

purification were achieved not just through their own efforts but also through divine grace

(see Table L25).

There was a physical experience of lightness; of a weight being lifted off of me that I didn’t even know was there. (CR:001:121-123)

Practices (Tools and Techniques)

I use the rattle when I’m trying to lift up and call forth, in a seeking way, the spirits or the little invisible aspects of ourselves that are available around and within ourselves all the time. (CR:003:299-302)

Twenty different preparation and purification practices, tools, and techniques for

seeking divine guidance were reported by the coresearchers, including the practicing of

attributes, the use of prayer and blessings, and practicing discernment (9/9).

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I’ve been into prayer and contemplation ever since I was about 5 or 6 years old. I was led into meditation when I was in my early 20s. I’ve always assumed that prayer and contemplation are simply ways of communicating with God. That understanding led me to a practice, which came to me in my early adult years, that I call dialoging with God. I realized, when I was in my late 20s or early 30s, that among some of the great Hasidic masters it used to be commonplace for them to sit down and have a chat with God, the same way you and I are talking; to simply talk to God and express what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, what you’re upset about, what’s bothering you, that sort of thing. (CR:004:69-80)

Additional reported practices include meditation, studying sacred texts, having a

regular guidance practice, seeking spiritual direction (7/9), rituals (6/9), dream work,

dialoguing with the Divine (5/9), the use of sacred objects, performing right action,

visualization exercises, contemplation (4/9), chanting, breathing practices (3/9), divination,

body practices (2/9), mindfulness practices, and vision quests (1/9) (see Table L6).

When I went off on my questing [vision quest], I took my rattle and my EagleBone whistle [sacred objects]. . . . I went out the door of the lodge and I used my rattle and I asked the spirits to lead me and take me to whatever place that I should dwell for a while for my questing. I immediately felt a tug pulling me into a certain direction, and I moved in that direction, across some hills and scree, fording a little alpine river and some meadows. . . . Then over in the distance to my right, I perceived a dark sort of a thicket shaped area at the end of this alpine meadow that was calling to me. . . . I went over to this area and was moving along the edge of the thicket line, which was quite dense, and I heard a very very large rustling in the bushes and I paused.

I did my rattle very quietly to center myself and to open myself . . . but not to stop myself from what I was hearing. Then I heard a “woof, woof” . . . . Everything seemed to go cold and dark, and there was a musky scent suddenly flooding me. In that very moment of this flooding of my senses, I looked in front of me and this large bear was standing up. . . . I was in such an altered state . . . I looked at this great bear standing there, and I felt my eyes immediately soften and a prayer passing through me of “thank you.”

As soon as that prayer passed through me I heard more rustling and saw two cubs coming around her. And in that moment I just shivered with fear. . . . I saw her cuff one of the cubs behind her, and she never took her eyes off me. I slowly, very slowly came down to my knees. . . . My rattle was going as quietly as could be, but that rattle never stopped . . . .

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As I came slowly down, my eyes softened. . . . I remember thinking, feeling . . . “We have a great relationship,” and I wanted to let her know that I loved her and that I cared for her children and would do them no harm. And as soon as I felt that go through me . . . she dropped to all fours . . . and she just stood there, this large, large, large great being and just looked at me and so much passed between us.

Then she started moving in front of me across the edge of the thicket and her cubs were following her. . . . I didn’t stare or watch her, I just sensed her out of my peripheral vision moving away and then I just allowed myself to fall to the ground so that my head was on the ground. I was praying and awaring myself of the fullness I felt in myself, and the fullness of love. Then as I started bringing my head up from my knees I suddenly became very clear. [The words] “you’ve made a covenant here, there’s some agreements to keep” came through me, and I started to rattle acknowledging that “I will find out what those agreements are,” because I had no idea what all this meant . . . .

And . . . as I’m rattling [ritual], rattling to the earth and then bringing up my rattle, I see, as I looked upward, this eagle circling. Eagle, from my teachings and my relations with my uncle, carried in me a blessing to see far, and I felt that I would be helped to see far eventually.

[And the words came to me:] “Just be here, whatever the covenant and agreement is, you will be encircled.”

I’d gone seeking guidance; I’d gone as a seeker. I’d certainly received, and whatever was to follow, this would come. (CR:003:76-165)

Attribute Practices

I began to see that the most important thing for me was to see people in the light, to see people with Christ vision [perceptual shift]. (CR:007:83-84)

The most reported (9/9) practice for the seeking of divine guidance was the

practicing of attributes ascribed to the experience of the Divine. The coresearchers reported

11 attributes that can be practiced, including surrender, awareness (7/9), perceptual shift,

silence and stillness (5/9), self-reflection, centeredness, authenticity (4/9), forgiveness,

acceptance (3/9), courage (2/9), and compassion (1/1) (see Table L7).

I was praying and awaring myself [awareness] of the fullness I felt in myself, and the fullness of love. (CR:003:150-151)

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The Experience of Receiving

When . . . something . . . comes over you and alters your understanding or your perspective, and puts you in a different time and place [it] is a clear indication . . . you’re receiving something from a higher level. (CR:004:136-142)

All 9 coresearchers reported the general patterns of form (9/9), content (9/9), and

qualities of experience (9/9) within the experience of receiving divine guidance (see below

and Table L8); in that there appears to be a certain form to the communication (see Table

L9), which has a content or message (see Table L10), and certain qualities of experience

(see Table L11). The coresearchers’ reports of these three patterns of receiving included

both discreet descriptions of each pattern and descriptions that appear to indicate an

overlapping or blending of these patterns of experience, as in the following quotation

describing the perceived content being communicated through the form of the experience.

There was something about the experience; the very experience revealed to me that this is what I’m to do. I knew it in the experience. I just knew from the felt experience. I knew through my feelings that this is what I was to do and some light was given to me. (CR:005:47-51)

Additionally, all 9 coresearchers reported experiencing obstacles to receiving

guidance (see Table L8).

I’ve mentioned ego and fear as obstacles to receiving Guidance. (CR:008:243-244)

Another obstacle could be that you have not made time in your life to receive whatever guidance might come. (CR:003:445-446)

Forms of Communication

God responds in different ways. I really feel a lot of what comes from a higher level comes on the intuitive plane. It comes as a series of feelings [felt-sense] . . . and insight. (CR:004:131-133)

The coresearchers reported 23 different forms of divine communication. The two

most reported forms of communication were having an experience of a perceptual shift:

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It was as if all my neurons, all my synapses, were clicking. It was like having the answer to a problem, discovering the answer to a problem, and having an ah-ha, an ah-ha about existence. (CR:001:123-126)

and having a feeling or a felt-sense (9/9) . . .

I immediately felt a tug pulling me into a certain direction, and I moved in that direction, across some hills and scree, fording a little alpine river and some meadows. (CR:003:81-84)

Additional reported forms of divine communication included receiving an insight,

having an experience of Divine Presence, receiving a thought or having a thought-sense

(8/9), divinely guided life changes and transformation (7/9), an experience of divine flow,

hearing an inner voice, experiencing meaningful dreams (6/9), observing meaningful signs

and wonders, sensing through intuition (5/9), observing synchronicities, perceiving

meaning within peak experiences, receiving visions, having an energetic-sense (4/9),

hearing the Voice of Nature (3/9), having a channeled or channeling experience, witnessing

miracles, receiving messages through divination techniques, receiving inspiration, hearing

an outer voice (2/9), receiving revelation, and inner dictation (1/9) experiences (see Table

L9).

But for the most part the voice that I hear is similar to an inner dictation. Sometimes it’s like getting a green light; sometimes it’s just an inner sense of knowing. (CR:007:153-155)

Content of Communication

The Presence communicated the direction I was to take. It was just sudden, spontaneous, and clear. (CR:005:68-69)

The coresearchers reported 10 different types of content received through divine

communication. The most reported types of communication content were the receiving of

direction, information, a perceptual shift that brought new understanding, an authorization

for some action, and being moved through a behavior modification (9/9).

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I had been at a staff meeting and I came across badly. . . . The meeting was over and I headed down a corridor, and right about in the middle of the hall I had an experience that I could only say was piercing. . . . At the same time it was consoling and it brought clarity and light. Tumbling down before me came all of the behaviors in which I had engaged to protect my own self-image. . . . It was very, very searing and very purifying. It made me take note of those behaviors and it gave me guidance in terms of how I could catch myself doing that, and that never left me. . . . Now it’s an ongoing kind of purification for which I’m really grateful. That hallway is holy ground; it’s very holy ground for me. (CR:005:96-122)

Additional types of content reported included the receiving of insight (8/9),

consolation (6/9), warning (5/9), inspiration (2/9), and revelation (1/9) (see Table L10).

Perceptual shift, insight, inspiration, and revelation (4/9) were reported as both form and

content (see Table L9 and L10).

A lot of times information comes to me in dreams. [And] when I do Tarot readings for people, and I’m focusing on the cards and the card patterns, I will start seeing very clear images, pictures, things like that. My experience is that these are not random pictures but rather they’re highly symbolic pictures that are trying to impart a whole range of information, and I’ll often translate that into analogies for people when I do readings. (CR:004:207-214)

Qualities of the Experience

If something is coming to me, I completely go into a silence mode. There’s a great comfort in the silence and a strong sense of peace, then this coming from a higher level. If there’s a sense of movement, agitation, commotion, or you’re not comfortable with the silence, then this is coming from somewhere else. (CR:004:263-269)

The coresearchers reported 30 different qualities of the experience of receiving

divine guidance. The most reported quality of experience was having a sense of a

perceptual shift (9/9).

So I was lying on my bed one day and I just felt this awful, awful, awful disintegration in me, like I was falling. . . . And in the extremity of that plummeting . . . there was a shift in perspective so that I realized the falling was actually a holding . . . [and] something changed in me at that moment. (CR:001:174-195)

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Additional reported qualities of experience included having the sense of heart-

opening, interconnectedness, light, presence (8/9), openness, love, clarity, being present

(7/9), harmony and balance, divine flow, consolation or comfort, gratitude (6/9), grace and

blessing, peace, joy or happiness (5/9), peak experience, energy, union, surrender (4/9),

encouragement, self-reflection, calmness, sacredness, timelessness (3/9),

unselfconsciousness, spontaneity, awe (2/9), silence and stillness, and a sense of Source

(1/9) (see Table L11).

I keep using the word “consolation.” It’s from our tradition; it’s a word that’s used in the spiritual exercises of Saint Ignatius, which I know well, and the rules of discernment at the end of the exercises. Consolation is . . . very loving; it’s a feeling of being loved and wanting to love, and wanting to be loving. There is also peace, although sometimes the consolation is both piercing and consoling. . . . Joy is [also] a big criterion for me. . . . Joy means something very very deep to me; it’s not on the surface . . . or something like that, but a deeper kind of joy. (CR:005:174-186)

Most of the reported qualities of experience (28/30) were also cited as effects or

fruits of the experience (see below, Table L11, and Table L13), and the coresearcher

descriptions of the qualities of their experiences tended to indicate a symbiotic relationship

with the qualities and effects of their experience.

I felt the presence [quality]; I knew it was God. There was no question in my mind that it was God. It was the presence and the presence left me feeling consoled, extremely happy, and very free [effects]. (CR:005:58-61)

The Experience of Following

I think one thing is listening and the other thing is following; to realize I’m not in control and I want to follow. (CR:007:164-166)

All 9 coresearchers reported the general patterns of effects or fruits (9/9),

discernment (9/9), and incorporation (9/9) within the experience of following divine

guidance (see below and Table L12); suggesting that there are certain effects or fruits of the

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experience (see Table L13), and a necessary process of discernment (see Table L14) and

incorporation (see Table L16) following the experience.

Once it’s clear that you’re seeking it and you’ve received it, then there has to be a response [following]. The response is either to go with the guidance or to go against it. God leaves us free; God leaves me incredibly free to go with that or not, and I see the same thing in the people that I direct. . . . [So basically] it’s praying, receiving it . . . then checking the fruits [effects] of that, “What do the fruits seem to be? Do they seem to be in harmony with both my and other’s authentic self [discernment]?” . . . and [then it’s] finding out . . . if I am continuing to respond [incorporation]. (CR:005:317-332)

Additionally, all 9 coresearchers reported experiencing obstacles to following


There are many obstacles to following guidance. The biggest one is one’s own self . . . [because] true guidance expands our consciousness, and if we’re expanding our consciousness there’s always the existing consciousness that has to be pushed aside. (CR:008:422-426)

Effects of the Experience

Following guidance brings everything to my life. It’s so deeply satisfying to feel that your life is on track and that you’re doing what you were born to do, and that you have the courage to do what God wants you to do. (CR:008:443-446)

Fifty-one different effects or fruits of the experience of divine guidance were

reported, with no single effect being mentioned by all 9 coresearchers. The most reported

effects/fruits of the experience of divine guidance were: Perceptual shift, purification,

heart-opening, and changes in personal constructs (7/9).

I felt like God had put fresh heart into me to do this [heart-opening], that I was to give my life to God this way. (CR:005:43-44)

It was very, very searing and very purifying [purification]. (CR:005:114-115)

Additional reported effects/fruits of the experience included incorporation,

consolation, transformation, insight, sense of harmony and balance, increased faith (6/9);

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sense of grace, blessing, love, purpose and direction, clarity, peace, increased awareness

(5/9); peak experience, gratitude, surrender (4/9); sense of presence, authenticity, joy or

happiness, courage, synchronicities, energy, encouragement, spiritual growth, openness,

sense of divine flow, sense of sacredness, strength, goodness (3/9); sense of

interconnectedness, healing, miracles, feeling of acceptance, sense of light, sense of

freedom, wisdom, sense of silence and stillness, sense of self-reflection, calmness,

centeredness, sense of satisfaction (2/9); sense of commitment, forgiveness,

unselfconsciousness, union, awe, spontaneity, and sense of timelessness (1/9) (see Table

L13).

The biggest fruits of following the guidance that’s given to me are freedom, spontaneity, and unselfconsciousness. . . . When I’m in harmony with my authentic self and the guidance that I’ve been given, I’m most unselfconscious, I think I’m at my best and I can live freely who I am. (CR:005:264-269)

It should also be noted that one coresearcher (CR:007) reported having been healed

of alcohol addiction through the intervention of divine guidance which manifested at times

as an outer voice (CR:007:143-153).

During my alcohol days, I heard a voice coming from outside saying to me that “you’re in a new phase of healing and it’s no longer necessary for you to drink.” It didn’t seem like an inner voice. It felt like I was going to see purple elephants on the wall at any moment and it scared the hell out of me. (CR:007:143-147)

Discernment

I think discernment is a way of knowing. My understanding of discernment is making discreet, sifting through all my inner affections to come to know that which is most in harmony with who I really am, my most authentic self and the spirit of God living and dwelling within, and which feels in disharmony. (CR:005:158-162)

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All 9 coresearchers (9/9) expressed the importance of being able to discern the

authenticity and correct meaning of any guidance they had received through a process of

discernment, and reported that this discernment process was an essential part of the

experience of following divine guidance (see Table L12).

It’s a real discernment process, a real fine-tuning, because my ego is alive and well and fairly active. I’m always trying to discriminate between “is this what I would like to believe” or “this is what really needs to happen?” (CR:006:150-153)

The most reported element and/or process associated with discernment was the

commitment to practice discernment (9/9).

Well, my discernment was to bring that to my Lord, to bring that to the Source. And it was a continual lifting it up, saying “if this isn’t right take it away.” And there were times when I knew I was willing to do that. (CR:001:304-307)

Additional reported discernment elements and processes included an effort to

extricate the obstacles to guidance, recurrent discernment inquiry (8/9), to test and

compare guidance against previous experiences of self and others (7/9), acceptance of the

transcendent education experience (6/9), detachment to outcome, seeking spiritual

direction for discernment assistance (5/9), following one’s bliss, and learning discernment

by a trial and error process of acting on guidance and observing the effects (2/9) (see Table

L14).

[Test and compare] It seems to me that if it feels personal to me then it’s probably not coming through the [divine] pipeline. . . . If it feels like I’m personally, emotionally invested, that it’s hooked to my own personal life or my own personality values . . . then probably it’s mine. And if it feels like something that I’m not personally invested in but something I’ve also heard from my teachers [conformity] or something that really comes in the moment . . . then probably it’s not mine. I think there’s a feeling of it flowing through me not coming from me. (CR:002:101-111)

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The most reported discernment criterion is the use of the fruits or effects of the

experience as a measure of the authenticity of the experience (9/9). Additional reported

discernment criteria include: The conformity of the guidance experience to a past

established experience, an authentic standard from sacred texts or the ways of the prophets,

confirmation by a second person or guide, or additional signs and synchronicities (8/9); a

confirmation of the heart (8/9); a sense of openness (7/9); an increased level of willingness

(6/9); a sense of clarity (4/9); and a sense of Source (1/9) (see Table L15).

When you get this sense of deep peace, a sense of tranquility, a sense of being in sacred space [sacredness] and a sense of timelessness [effects]; when you know something and it’s on the heart level, and it’s not on the intellectual plane, then it’s coming from a higher plane. (CR:004:142-146)

Incorporation

Real day-by-day guidance is the result of a long habit of listening and even more profoundly, a long habit of developing a kind of neutral attitude that allows you to hear what is [attunement]. (CR:008:96-99)

The reported elements and processes associated with the incorporation of the

experience of divine guidance into daily life include the integration of attunement practices,

inner listening, inspired action, construct transcendence, creating the space (set and

setting) for guidance to reoccur, and an ongoing discernment practice (9/9).

There are certain activities, certain [attunement] practices I do. I don’t want to say sacred practices because all is sacred. But that’s what I’m trying to hold in me . . . a sense of certain sacred activity that over the years I’ve been shown to do, or discovered their value by doing them. One is always rattling our food. One is that we end our day with a blessing and go into the night in thankfulness. There are certain activities that are part of my daily-ness. (CR:003:496-503)

Additional reported elements and processes of incorporation include an openness to

receive (8/9), watching for signs, an ongoing guidance practice, being present (7/9), an

ongoing spiritual practice (6/9), sanctification of everyday life, being with what is, waiting

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for an answer (4/9), the seeking of alignment with the Divine, and the expression of

gratefulness (2/9) (see Table L16).

I seek guidance; I wait; I meditate on it. When I’m meditating I’ll bring the situation into my mediation, I’ll hold it at the spiritual eye, and I’ll remind Divine Mother and the masters that I pray to that we have a problem and I really don’t know what to do and that they really do need to rescue me or else there’s going to be a mess. I often don’t get any particular answers, but I feel like I’ve done my part by asking. Then I just wait and almost always in the moment that it’s needed it comes [waiting for an answer]. So my way of seeking guidance is to constantly have faith that there is an answer while constantly and inwardly reminding Divine Mother that we need the answer, and then trusting that in the course of things it will come out. (CR:008:537-548)

Factors of Experience

I would say there are several things that people do that create blockages or obstacles to receiving from other levels. I think one of the biggest obstacles is where one is focused. If a person is focused on their problems, they get two major obstacles showing up: emotional turmoil or fixation and mental gyration. If the mind and the emotions are not sublimated, they can be major interference factors. (CR:004:273-279)

All 9 coresearchers (9/9) reported various contributing, impeding, developmental,

and mediating factors related to the experience of seeking, receiving, and following divine


It was as if I had stumbled onto a reality. There was a sense of the universe being benign and loving, and inviting us towards wonderful things. (CR:001:130-133)

Contributing factors are those factors which are perceived as having contributed to

an individual’s seeking of divine guidance (see Table L18).

From the beginning, one of the things that brought me into seeking as a child was being orphaned. (CR:003:236-237)

Impeding factors (obstacles) are those factors that appear to impede or block one’s

ability to seek, receive, and follow guidance (see Table L19).

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It’s when we’re caught in our victim-hood, when we’re caught in our judgments and our grievances of the past, that we superimpose the past on the present and God is nowhere to be found. (CR:007:417-420)

Developmental factors are those factors that appear to develop and/or have a

developmental influence on the experience in general (see Table L22).

We achieve our purpose in life by accepting guidance. If we’re in touch with higher levels at all times, if we’re receiving guidance from above, if we’re connecting with God, then we’re also evolving as souls. (CR:004:475-478)

Mediating factors are those factors that appear to exhibit an indirect influence on

the process itself, or seem to act as an intermediary channel of causation (see Table L24).

I had been in Africa on a camping safari. . . . We were home about 20 minutes when the earth quaked. We were so jet lagged that what was happening was quite confusing. I realized in that quaking, in those after-shocks that kept occurring, that Africa had been an earth-quaking experience for me . . . most profoundly . . . and there was something very powerful about coming home to this quaking. . . . It felt like a deep, deep, deep restlessness inside me . . . [and] I knew I needed to go off in quest. (CR:003:17-29, 55-57)

Contributing Factors

I came from a very religious family in a sense. My mother went to mass every morning. . . . I prayed and would go to church . . . every day. I liked to go to church. I found it a very supportive place for where I was in my life. I think I just intuited that from my mother and just lived it. Only later did I realize I was doing that and how much a part of my life it was. (CR:005:72-82)

Ten internal and external factors were reported to contribute to an individual’s

seeking of divine guidance (see Table L18). These contributing factors, as reported by the

coresearchers, include the experience of insight, an individual’s personal relationship to

Source, and an experience of calling (8/9).

I would say that in my first most dramatic call I wasn’t seeking; at least I wasn’t seeking consciously. . . . It was seeking me. (CR:001:51-55)

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Additional reported contributing factors include life experiences, religious

experiences (7/9), a regular spiritual practice, other exceptional human experiences (EHEs)

(4/9), cultural influences, education and studies, and one’s personal predisposition (3/9)

(see Table L18).

I was 21 years old living in Los Angeles, dating the world, with no thought whatsoever of ever becoming a nun. I came home from a date. I’m sure my date and I were in Hollywood, probably dancing to Glenn Miller or someone like that. It was about 2:30 in the morning. I went to my bedroom and all of a sudden I was enveloped in an experience that was, in later reflection so clearly God, and I knelt down beside my bed. The clarity is still present to me, the clarity of “this is what God is inviting me to do; to give my life to God”; and I wanted to do it, even though I had never ever thought about it. The experience was most unexpected. It was sudden; it clearly brought me to my knees. The over flow of tears was right there. It had a clarity about it that has stayed with me all these years. That was the foundational [religious] experience of guidance for me and I often use it as an experience against which I can measure other experiences in terms of guidance. (CR:005:7-22)

Impeding Factors (Obstacles)

If something comes from beyond me and is not distorted terribly much by me, then it’s probably going to represent a deeper level of truth. (CR:002:130-132)

The coresearchers reported 21 different impeding factors or obstacles to the

experience of seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance. The most reported

obstacle (9/9) was an individual’s personal constructs (see below).

If I haven’t checked in with myself and cleansed myself and opened myself then I have an agenda, I have an expectation, and I’m going with a question and I’ve already got my answer hidden, then, in an unclean way, we’re telling spirits what they should tell us. That’s a big obstacle and it’s very subtle. (CR:003:440-445)

Additional reported obstacles included the ego, a lack of awareness (7/9), fear,

mental turmoil, lack of surrender, attachment (6/9), emotional turmoil (5/9), lack of faith,

resistance to change (4/9), doubt, judgment, lack of time and space, logic and reason, lack

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of acceptance, expectations (3/9), lack of forgiveness, lack of commitment, lack of courage,

not following guidance received (2/9), and not gathering helpers when needed (1/9) (see

Table L19).

It’s not always easy. Obstacles come in the form of doubting. Thoughts come that make me doubt the guidance that I received: “Was that really from God? Is this really what I’m supposed to do?” . . . And I begin to doubt, and it’s always very reasonable or I wouldn’t be attracted to it. (CR:005:250-255)

Personal Constructs

Everybody is operating out of a cosmology . . . a philosophy of life . . . a model of reality . . . whether they bring it to consciousness or not . . . [and] it profoundly guides how we react and respond. (CR:006:663-668)

All 9 coresearchers (9/9) of this study reported the conceptualization or construction

of one’s experience of reality as the most common obstacle to seeking, receiving, and

following divine guidance (see Table L19). This conceptualization or construction of

personal reality is what psychologist George Kelly called personal constructs, which refers

to the mental, emotional, and perceptual interpretations through which an individual views

and anticipates an event. These constructs are mostly based on past experience and

learning, and place a construed meaning on all aspects of perceived reality (Kelly, 1955).

If I . . . have the concept of “God is evil,” or . . . “God causes death and destruction,” that’s going to keep me away. (CR:001:43-45)

The most reported impeding factor related to personal constructs (8/9) was an

individual’s construct of the Source of Guidance itself. These coresearchers reported that

how one perceives this Source greatly affects one’s ability to seek, receive, and follow its

guidance. Additional impeding personal constructs reported by the coresearchers included

constructs related to the ego (6/9), lack of awareness (4/9), fear, emotional turmoil,

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attachment (3/9), doubt, resistance to change, judgment, mental turmoil, and expectations

(2/9) (see Table L20).

If the ego has created a very strong conceptual box, then it’s impeding the energy flow . . . that’s the disadvantage of having a mental construct. (CR:004:359-361)

All 9 coresearchers (9/9) reported that the process of following divine guidance, as

it relates to the obstacles of personal constructs, includes both intentional and spontaneous

perceptual shifts that can instigate construct transcendence (9/9). A majority of the

coresearchers (8/9) perceived this process as a form of transcendent education or learning

that appears to be guided by forces both deep within and beyond the individual with the

intention of effecting transformation and construct change (7/9) within the individual (see

Table L21).

After that realization [perceptual shift], she went through a whole process of spiritual transformation in a very short time. That led her to reconciliation with God and a desire to move back into her own spiritual tradition. This insight had a very distinct transformative effect. It opened the floodgates. She was finally coming home. (CR:004:43-48)

Developmental Factors

I’m allowing myself to spiritually evolve and . . . harmonize with what God wants. (CR:004:96-102)

All 9 coresearchers (9/9) reported four different developmental factors related to the

experience of seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance. These reported

developmental factors were: The development of an individual’s relationship to Source; the

progressive development of one’s ability to surrender; the degree of locus of control

between personal will and a higher Will; and the evolution and degree of one’s faith (see

below and Table L22).

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My sense has always been that developing my relationship with God is my primary objective in being here in the first place. (CR:004:59-61)

Surrender

The surrender is the hard part; once you’ve done the piece of surrender, you just find the next piece. I think that’s been the process all along. Rather than a pursuing for me, it’s been a surrendering into it. (CR:009:111-114)

All 9 coresearchers (9/9) reported perceiving some form of the process of surrender

as being essential to the experience of seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance.

The surrender, submission, or attunement of one’s will to a Higher Will was the most

frequently reported aspect of the surrender process (9/9).

It’s continually to remind myself that my ego mind doesn’t really know what’s best for me or anybody else. I do my best everyday to come to God with empty hands. . . . It’s about always asking for guidance, “what should I think, say, and do,” rather than trying to do what I think my ego wants to do. (CR:007:111-113, 134-136)

Additional reported aspects and elements of the process of surrender included the

surrendering to one’s faith, practicing surrender (7/9), the surrender of personal

constructs, lack of surrender as an obstacle to guidance (6/9), the experience of surrender

as an effect or fruit (5/9) and a quality of the experience (4/9), and the surrender of outcome

as an essential component of the guidance process (3/9) (see Table L23).

Two years ago . . . [we] were invited to go to Bosnia for a special conference on reconciliation and forgiveness for religious and spiritual leaders who experienced tremendous atrocities from the other side. . . . As they gathered for the first of the three-day conference they became pretty fearful. All of a sudden they had before them what unforgiveness looked like, “If the other person apologizes first, maybe I will.” There was a stand off around this aspect and my guidance was just to continue to bless everyone with love and not get caught in the outcome, whether they were going to change or not, but just to keep that flow going of unconditional love. Somehow we were able to create an atmosphere of unconditional love where they could really begin to hear the other person without interrupting. They began to hear the other person’s story; they heard the other person’s pain. And they were able to do that on both sides. (CR:007:178-195)

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Mediating Factors

I have been guided so beautifully. . . . I feel the hand of God has been on my life [grace]. I’ve just been so fortunate in the opportunities that have been given to me. There’s not a single day that I don’t know that. I have no magical examples of it, things happen in an “ordinary way.” But things have happened so wonderfully well, I’ve been taken care of from the beginning. (CR:008:615-621)

All 9 coresearchers (9/9) reported four different mediating factors related to the

experience of seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance (see Table L24). These

reported mediating factors were: The synergy between effort and grace (see below and

Table L25); the creation of a conducive set and setting (see below); life experience and

events as forms of preparation, purification, and guidance; and the process of guidance as a

form of transcendent education (see below).

[Life experience and events] I remember last spring walking in the forest, seeing this butterfly on a flower, walking up to it, and then realizing the butterfly had only a half a wing on its right side. . . . I go up to it and as I approach it he takes off and starts flying. I’m thinking how in the name of God, aerodynamically, could a creature built to fly on two wings manage to make the mental adjustment or the physical adjustment to fly like this on a wing and a half. But that’s exactly what the butterfly was doing. For me, that immediately becomes guidance; it’s like God saying, “Everything is possible if you believe in yourself. If you believe you can fly, you can fly, whether you have a wing and a half or no wing at all. If you believe it you can do it.” That to me is spiritual guidance. I wasn’t in prayer mode; it’s not like I was sitting down meditating, or I wasn’t saying to God “give me a sign”; I’m trekking through the forest and there it is right in front of me. (CR:006:538-556)

Effort and Grace

You probably can’t seek unless you have some sense that there’s something calling you, something to be sought. (CR:001:203-205)

Nine out of 9 coresearchers (9/9) reported a synergy of effort and grace throughout

all three categories of seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance (see Table L25).

The reported balance between an individual’s efforts and the perceived assistance, aid, and

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help of divine grace in the guidance process varied slightly between the categories: Reports

of effort were slightly higher than grace within the experience of seeking (69/46), while

reports of grace were slightly higher than effort within the experiences of receiving (45/43)

and following (51/42) (see Table L25). This reported synergy between effort and grace

included accounts of grace appearing to prompt effort, as in the above quotation, and effort

appearing to call forth grace, as in the quotation below.

All of a sudden I got a message from God saying, “Ask him if he can stay another 10 minutes,” so I did. I took him upstairs and had him sit on the stairs and look back at the painting of Jesus hanging there [Effort], and a miracle took place [Grace]. This guy’s whole physical structure, his emotional and spiritual structure shifted. The guilt and the blame all disappeared. He was healed; it was an amazing experience. (CR:007:322-329)

Similar synergistic occurrences of this nature have been reported and explored by

theologians and mystics from several of the world’s spiritual traditions (Wilson, 1991)

including Saint Thomas Aquinas (1489/1989).

Saint Thomas Aquinas (1489/1989) has a principle called Grace Builds on Nature, meaning that your natural inclinations are where grace builds. It’s not that you’re one way by nature and you’re called to be something in which you drop all your gifts. You’re not called to drop all that and become somebody completely different. When I was starting to follow that path [effort] it wasn’t like the Lord was saying, “go thee and ride a motorcycle” . . . . But as I see it now, it was a call, and there are things that came from that; qualities of concentration, of decisiveness, of power, came into my life from the motorcycling . . . feeding the main root of my life [grace]. So you know, it’s mysterious. (CR:001:328-341)

Set and Setting

I think that God speaks to us in many different ways, sometimes when we least expect it, but if we want to regularly access the Divine Will, it’s about creating the kind of space in our lives where that can happen. (CR:006:13-16)

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The creation of a conducive set and setting is the second most reported (9/9)

mediating factor for the seeking, receiving, and following of divine guidance. “Set” refers

to the psychological make-up of the individual involved in the experience, and “setting”

refers to the environment in which the experience is occurring (Rosegrant, 1976). The

creation of the right “set and setting” for the experience of divine guidance was reportedly

accomplished through both grace and the effort of using various tools, practices, and

techniques.

How we make holy space is done primarily through ritual [effort]. The process of ritual first of all brings you to a place of attention; you have to pay attention to the details. You are focused and you’re present. . . . [You] take a moment and say a prayer . . . and at that moment there’s . . . a connection [grace] . . . [and] you are making a space for the Holy One to dwell. (CR:009:361-376)

The reported tools, practices, techniques, and factors associated with the “set and

setting” of the experience of divine guidance include the performance of rituals, the “set”

of personal constructs (6/9), holding a sacred context, going on retreat (5/9), the use of

sacred objects, spending time in nature, and creating the time and space in one’s life for

receiving guidance (4/9) (see Table L26).

I think that sense of flow for me is most there when I’m here in our Tekke, in our center . . . [sacred context] I know when I sit here in this seat with this stuff on me [sacred objects] I feel I’m in that place and it’s easy. (CR:002:135-136, 265-266)


It was like God had these people come back into my life as angels making me realize . . . that to give is to receive and that we’re all equal teachers and students to each other; that no matter what is happening to you it can be turned around into a positive lesson God would have us learn. (CR:007:278-283)

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All 9 coresearchers (9/9) reported having the sense that some kind of transcendent

educational process was part of the experience of seeking, receiving, and following divine

guidance.

The understanding and the information gathered will start showing up gradually, in pieces, over time. You may get an insight, which shows up 2 or 3 days later. All of a sudden, your whole perspective on something in your life changes and you really don’t know how this occurred. (CR:004:191-196)

This transcendent educational process as reported by most of the coresearchers,

includes the changing of personal constructs (8/9) through a series of seemingly divinely

guided perceptual shifts and various life changes and transformations leading to the

incorporation (7/9) of the lessons being taught.

Another pattern that keeps showing up . . . is that you’ll have an experience and . . . then the reoccurrence of it in different forms is just lifting you to a higher quality of knowing. (CR:003:220-224)

A significant number of coresearchers reported that this process includes the

removal of obstacles, the development of abilities of discernment (6/9), construct

transcendence, and spiritual growth (5/9).

What we’re really trying to do is to be guided by our Superconscious Self and to learn to tell which one among those voices is the Superconscious. The Superconscious is always interested in our ultimate welfare and in the ultimate welfare of everyone. The Superconscious is always solution oriented, there’s always a solution on the Superconscious level. But the Superconscious also asks us to grow and it doesn’t encourage us to simply comfortably stay in the context or the understanding that we presently have. Of course the difficulty is that we like where we are, we’re comfortable where we are, and there’s a profound preference for whatever we presently have, even if it’s miserable. (CR:008:102-113)

Additionally, 4 out of the 9 coresearchers reported perceiving this transcendent

educational process as a purification (4/9) of the physical, emotional, mental, and/or

perceptual barriers to guidance (see Table L27).

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There is shattering because we need to be shattered, like the husk being taken off the seed. (CR:003:228-229)

Metaphors of Divine Encounter

If I give you enough metaphors you obviously will come to the conclusion that it’s not any of these things ontologically; that these things are just kind of symbolically grasping one element of it. By looking at sufficient metaphors and getting what some of the constituent elements might be, we begin to realize that any one of the models isn’t able to contain all the data. (CR:006:318-324)

Each of the coresearchers appeared to have a distinct and metaphoric way of

perceiving and describing the pattern of their guidance encounters. These “metaphors of

divine encounter” arose out of the interview process organically and it was an unanticipated

theme. While each coresearcher appeared to emphasize one central metaphor of divine

encounter, several of these patterns were mentioned by other coresearchers as additional

ways of perceiving their guidance, which suggests that these patterns might not necessarily

be unique in nature.

These metaphors of divine encounter appeared to take the form of a central

metaphor or archetypal image that the coresearcher associated with their experience of

divine guidance (see Table L28). Most of these central metaphors appear to have been

developed through the coresearcher’s personal, cultural, and/or religious experiences, and

seem to be greatly influenced by their spiritual tradition.

Coresearcher 001 reported perceiving the experience of receiving divine guidance

as a subtle sense of divine invitation, “like seeing a potential, seeing a door open . . . like an

awareness blossoming that there’s something that I’m not doing and I could do”

(CR:001:261-273). Two other coresearchers (3/9) reported similar metaphors of divine

encounter (see Table L28).

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Coresearcher 002 reported perceiving the experience of connecting to divine

guidance as a process of linking into the transmission lineage of his tradition, which is like

a divine pipeline or chain that forms a connection to the lineage of his Sufi order “all the

way up through the sheikhs, the teachers of our order, through many great Sufi saints, all

the way to the prophet Muhammad . . . and his link . . . to God” (CR:002:144-153). This

coresearcher (1/9) was the only one to report this particular metaphor of divine encounter

(see Table L28).

In keeping with her Shamanic tradition’s roots, coresearcher 003 reported

perceiving the experience of divine guidance as coming through a force, presence, and/or

message from the voices of nature. This included communication with animal spirits,

animal behavior observation, and voices from the forces of nature itself, like the “guidance

that comes in the form of the One-Who-Whispers in the wind” (CR:003:365-371). One

other coresearcher (2/9) reported a similar metaphor of divine encounter (see Table L28).

Using the biblical metaphor from the story of Elijah in the desert (Kings, I:19:9-12),

coresearcher 004 reported perceiving divine guidance as a voice within the divine stillness

that occurs after one subdues “the three storms” of mind, emotion, and perceptual

constructs, which represent “the most common interference patterns that prevent us from

hearing God” (CR:004:304-308). This coresearcher (1/9) was the only one to report this

particular metaphor of divine encounter (see Table L28).

Coresearcher 005 reported perceiving the experience of divine guidance as a

dipping into an inner river; “like a river flowing deep within me that I could dip into at

anytime” (CR:005:23-26). This coresearcher (1/9) was the only one to report this particular

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metaphor of divine encounter (see Table L28), though similar metaphors of divine

encounter related to a sense of flow were reported by 5 other coresearchers (6/9).

Coresearcher 006 reported perceiving divine guidance as a constant occurrence

coming to us through our everyday experience (life as guidance). In this way “everything

that happens to us in our life is guidance; the people that come into our lives, the books we

happen across . . . everything is purposeful and meaningful, if we have the eyes to be able

to see it” (CR:006:522-532). Four other coresearchers (5/9) reported similar metaphors of

divine encounter (see Table L28).

Coresearcher 007 reported the seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance as

a process of becoming a divine vehicle of love and forgiveness; “by not getting involved in

the outcome; by just wanting to be a vehicle; by really wanting to serve and not feeling that

I need anything at this point and that whatever I need will be provided for” (CR:007:216-

220). One other coresearcher (2/9) reported a similar metaphor of divine encounter (see

Table L28).

Coresearcher 008 reported perceiving the experience of divine guidance as a

process of attunement with the divine flow; It’s about trying “to be in harmony with the

divine flow . . . to be guided by the Divine . . . to always be in tune” (CR:008:285-290).

Five other coresearchers (6/9) reported similar metaphors of divine encounter (see Table

L28).

Coresearcher 009 reported perceiving the experience of receiving divine guidance

as an encounter with a Divine Presence through the creation of “a dwelling place”

(CR:009:623) within an individual and/or between two or more people gathered together,

“by just shutting down your own resistances and opening one’s heart to the . . . force of

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Divine presence and truth” (CR:009:612-614). This coresearcher (1/9) was the only one to

report this particular metaphor of divine encounter (see Table L28).

Resonant Learning

We’re going to elevate this conversation to the place that is speaking from an open heart where divine guidance will flow through us and make a space for the Holy One to dwell. (CR:009:604-606)

Unexpectedly, each of the coresearcher’s (9/9) metaphors of divine encounter

appeared to have been experientially transmitted to the researcher through some kind of

“mimicking” or resonant interaction phenomenon. The researcher experienced this

phenomenon as a form of resonant learning, similar to the resonant interaction and learning

observed between local and nonlocal neural networks and quantum events in which both

interconnected and distant neural and quantum systems appear to learn each other’s patterns

of operation (Dauce, Quoy, & Doyon, 2002; Horacek, Cizek, & Domcke, 1998; Morimoto

et al., 2003).

I seemed to be actually resonating with the guidance process that each person was sharing. This happened again today. . . . I was experiencing her [metaphor of divine encounter] even before she talked about it. (ION:003:34-38)

The resonant learning of each coresearcher’s metaphor of divine encounter

appeared to occur before, during, and after each interview. The duration of the pre and post

interview resonant learning experiences appeared to vary for each interview experience,

ranging between several hours to several days. The metaphors of divine encounter

experienced through resonant learning included all nine metaphors of divine encounter

reported by all 9 coresearchers, which were the experiencing of divine guidance through the

metaphors of divine invitation, divine pipeline, voices of nature, divine stillness, inner river,

life as guidance, divine vehicle, divine flow, and dwelling place (see Table L28).

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I experienced a presence around us and in us that felt like an invisible stream . . . and this was exactly what she was talking about in relation to her own experience; how when you are in the presence of the Divine it is like you dip into a stream and it just moves you. (ION:005:9-13)

The effects of each resonant learning experience on the researcher included an

increased sense of connectedness between the researcher and the coresearcher; a sense of

transcendent education or grand curriculum being orchestrated by a Higher Source; and the

learning of the coresearcher’s metaphor of divine encounter on a visceral/experiential level.

The cumulative effect of the resonant learning phenomenon on the researcher was a

deepening sense of faith; an increased sense of being guided by a Higher Source; a sense of

awe and wonder; and a felt-sense of a deep personal construct change just beyond

conscious awareness and understanding.

Later that evening [after the interview], I looked in the mirror and realized my face was sunburned. I had been totally unconscious of spending so much time in the sun unprotected. My skin was beginning to blotch and I could feel the signs of sunstroke coming on. Suddenly I felt a powerful presence and heard a clear message saying: “You are exhausted and have been pushing yourself too hard. You have a choice. You can willfully choose to slow down and be present to life more, or you will be sick and your body will insist that you slow down.” I saw how this was a pattern of mine . . . to push myself until I get sick. I instantly shifted consciousness and began to relax. The next few hours I spent being fully present and just being. The next morning the burn was gone and I was fine. All of this was very unusual for me; usually my guidance comes in subtle forms, but these experiences were powerful, direct and clear. I felt as though her Bear medicine enveloped me and hung out with me for a while. (ION:003:146-161)

Researcher awareness of this pattern of resonant learning began to emerge after the

second interview, and was strengthened and confirmed by the continuing recurrence of the

phenomenon throughout the rest of the interview process. The “mimicking” or resonant

learning process appeared to be communicating the physiological, mental, emotional, and

perceptual components of each particular metaphor of divine encounter. Additionally, the

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resonant learning of each coresearcher’s metaphor of divine encounter appeared to build on

the learning of the preceding interview and prepare the ground for the next interview.

The entire process itself felt like guidance; everything that was happening felt like it was some form of guidance. (ION:006:24-25)

The researcher’s sense of this resonant learning experience was that it was a form of

transcendent education initiated and guided by the intentions and interactions of the

researcher, coresearchers, and a perceived Higher Source.

Guided Inquiry

In the morning I felt lost, not having been able to meditate, pray, or still my mind in weeks, and feeling the pressure of a dissertation related “deadline.” I was wondering if perhaps I was on the wrong path because everything seemed so difficult in our lives, with only a few moments of grace sprinkled in. I tossed the I Ching coins and received hexagram number 22, Pi or Grace, with a moving line in the fifth place. The reading for the hexagram (Wilhelm, 1950, pp. 90-93) told me that grace occurs in small things, and that for large movement, endurance and patience is required. A wave of peace and stillness washed over me, and I was able to see the patterns in my life from a completely different perspective. Following the reading I was able to continue my work and daily practices with ease. (Researcher Journal, April 1, 2000)

Forty guidance related self-experimentation methods were used throughout this

inquiry to help guide all aspects of the research process (see Chapter 3, Appendix C, and

Appendix I). Many of these methods were utilized on a daily basis to assist in the seeking,

receiving, and following of divine guidance in the researcher’s everyday personal life as

well as being used directly within this research process (see Chapter 3).

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This morning, after my daily guidance and purification practice, I was thinking about how wonderful and deep the dissertation process is, and that if I continue in this way I probably won’t finish this year. I wondered what I should do . . . should I get a job and do the work part time? Then I went to the bathroom and read today’s bible quotation in the Daily Word (2001): “And do not keep striving for what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not keep worrying. . . . Instead, strive for the kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well” (Luke 12:29-31). I felt that I received the answer to my question [and a few days later I received additional funding to continue the research]. (Researcher Journal, February 2, 2001)

During the interview phase, several of these methods were used on a daily basis for

preparation (set and setting), purification, and guidance purposes related to the interview

process (see Table L29), and a set of guidance methods and practices were also

implemented before, during, and after each coresearcher interview to help guide each

interview (see Appendix I).

I drove into the gated community and at first I couldn’t find his house, but then I asked for directions [from some neighbors] and they told me how to get there. It was a beautiful little cottage on a lake with birds, ducks, and geese. I parked the car, said my [pre-interview] guidance prayers (see Appendix I) and then gathered my equipment. I knocked on the door and after a few moments the coresearcher answered. He said “hello” and we shook hands. I tried to be very present as I entered in his home and presence. (ION:007:12-19)

Several of the tradition-specific self-experimentation methods used during this

research were also specifically employed during the self-inquiry phase to deepen researcher

understanding of a specific guidance tradition being studied through direct experience of

that tradition’s methods (see Appendix C and Table L29).

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For the last three days I have been working on Shamanism. . . . The first day I did a shamanic dance calling my animal spirit (Harner, 1980). I felt animal presence but could not discern a specific animal. Then I took a shamanic meditation walk (Harner, 1980) in which I looked around for lessons and gifts from the natural world. I entered an altered state as I looked deeply at the color, shape, and patterns of trees, stones, leaves, and plants. I listened to the different songs of birds and marveled at their variety of pitch and rhythm. Then I began to notice the squirrels. At one point I was standing in the middle of at least ten of them. I noticed how they stood perfectly still, listening and discerning if my presence was a threat or not; and then I watched them move in graceful fluid hops . . . their bodies and tails appeared to move like ocean waves. Then I watched some of them eating and some hiding food away. I suddenly got the message of balance . . . balance between stillness and action, and balance between taking in and putting away. I walked home in awe of the guidance I received by just being present to nature . . . something I have learned that is essential to the shamanic path. (Researcher Journal, January 31, 2001)

Additionally, several contemporary guidance methods were tested during various

phases of the research process (see Appendix C and Table L29).

I experimented with Wiemer’s (1997) visualization guidance method, using the question: “What do I need to do in my life right now?” The process was deeply moving, and I entered an altered state in which I received several short phrases and images. The first image was of a ship dropping its anchor in a stormy sea, and the phrase “drop anchor” entered my awareness. Next I saw the image of a tree. Its roots were rapidly growing down into the earth and anchoring it to the ground. This image was accompanied by the phrase: “Take root.” Afterward, I became aware of how my life and the dissertation process was feeling very stormy and uncertain, and that I was avoiding taking care of my physical reality. . . . The next day I tried to address the physical issues I had been avoiding . . . but ran into problems. Then our toilets and shower overflowed [because of overgrowing tree roots]. The connection between the images of water and tree roots I received in my guidance and the actual overflowing water in my house caused by overgrowing tree roots sent shivers up my spine. While I began to address these physical problems, I felt a deep archetypal process of change happening within me. My perceived problems turned into challenges and lessons, and I was able to deal with them in a different, more relaxed way. (Researcher Journal, November 6, 1999)

A self-evaluation of the perceived effect of the usage of each of these methods in

the research process and in the researcher’s personal life was performed by the researcher at

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the end of the data treatment phase: 17 of these methods had a perceived effect of 10 (on a

scale of 1 to 10); 15 methods had a perceived effect of 9 (9/10); 3 methods had a perceived

effect of 8 (8/10); and 5 methods had a perceived effect of 7 (7/10) (see Table L29).

Additionally, the number of years of researcher training and practice in each method prior

to research implementation was evaluated: 16 out of the 40 methods were employed with 1

year or less of practice and training, and the remainder of the methods ranged between 2

and 18 years of practice and training. While the four most effective methods were also the

ones with the longest number of years practiced, the number of years of practice and

training did not seem to generally have a significant influence over the perceived

effectiveness of the each method (see Table L29).

Summary of Findings

The results of the qualitative content analysis of the interview data recorded in this

study included numerous reported common and particular structures of the experience of

divine guidance. The common structures of experience that were reported by all 9

coresearchers included: The perception of a Source of guidance with particular attributes,

motives, and activities ascribed to it; the experience of seeking or being sought through

processes of preparation, purification, and practice; the experience of receiving guidance

through various forms of communication, with particular types of content and experiential

qualities; and the experience of following guidance through the experience of its effects or

fruits, as well as a process of discernment and incorporation.

Additionally, all 9 coresearchers reported both internal and external contributing

factors that influenced their seeking divine guidance. They also reported various obstacles

and constructs which acted as impeding factors for the experience; the influence of the

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developmental factors of relationship to Source, faith, will, and surrender; and the

mediating factors of effort and grace, set and setting, life experiences and events, and an

experience of transcendent education.

Within the framework of these commonly-reported structures of experience, the

coresearchers reported numerous substructures or particular and contextual forms and

variations of these common patterns that made each of their guidance experiences unique.

Each coresearcher also reported a unique metaphor of divine encounter that appeared to

give them an archetypal and visceral way of describing and holding the experience.

The researcher appeared to experience each of the coresearcher’s metaphors of

divine encounter before, during, and after each interview through some kind of resonant

learning or mimicking process. Additionally, the researcher reported a high degree of

perceived effect of the application of 40 different guidance-related self-experimentation

methods during the entire research process.

CHAPTER 5: SYNTHESIS AND DISCUSSION

I live my life in growing orbits which move out over the things of the world.

Perhaps I can never achieve the last, but that will be my attempt.

I am circling around God, around the ancient tower, and I have been circling for a thousand years,

and I still don’t know if I am a falcon, or a storm, or a great song.

—Rainer-Maria Rilke (1981, p. 13)

The primary intention of this study has been to explore and map the territory of the

experience of divine guidance. The following synthesis and discussion includes an

exploration and interpretation of the findings of this inquiry, and an attempt to conceptually

map the territory of the reported experience of divine guidance through various conceptual

and perceptual lenses. The goal of this approach has been to “circle around” the reported

experience of divine guidance and observe it from different vantage points, in an attempt to

capture a “gestalt” understanding of the experience as a whole.

This “circling around” of the experience begins with a conceptual synthesis of the

findings that were presented in the previous chapter. This conceptual synthesis is followed

by a discussion of the findings that includes a comparison of the major findings with the

literature, along with discussions of the additional findings of the metaphors of divine

encounter, the researcher’s resonant learning experience, and the researcher’s guidance

experiences on the path of inquiry. The subsequent synthesized discussion section includes

a combined synthesis and discussion of the results of this inquiry in the form of a creative

synthesis, a composite depiction, and an expression of researcher personal impact. This

chapter concludes with considerations of the limitations of this study; the implications and

applications of some of its findings; and the possibilities for future research.

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Synthesis of the Findings

The following synthesis of the findings includes various explorations and

conceptualizations of the universal and particular structuring of the experience of divine

guidance, as reported by the coresearchers. A synthesis of these structures into a conceptual

template of the experience concludes this section.

Universal and Particular Structures of the Experience

The universal and the particular require, and make no sense apart from, one another. They are the two sides of the coin of knowing, the coin of being. An alchemical dictum comes to mind: solve et coagula, dissolve and congeal. In the complete process of being and becoming, the particular dissolves into the universal, and the universal congeals or condenses into the particular. The universal and the particular are as breath and bone, cleaving to and from one another in their necessary and eternal dance. (Braud, 2002, p. 60, italics in original)

The foregoing research suggests that the experience of divine guidance, as reported

in the current study, is characterized by a universal structuring of the experience that

includes common categories, factors, and patterns that appear to manifest into various

particular and contextual forms depending on the individual occurrence of each divine

guidance experience. Universal or common categories, factors, and patterns are defined as

those structures of the experience reported by all 9 coresearchers that also displayed a high

degree of groundedness (G μ 9) and density (D μ 3) in the qualitative content analysis

process. Structures with a high degree of groundedness are defined as those structures that

have a higher frequency of reporting and signify a greater probability of evidence.

Structures with a high degree of density are defined as those structures that have a higher

number of related structures and point to a greater probability of theoretical significance

(see Chapter 3 for further details).

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Categories of Experience and Associated Patterns, Elements, and Forms

The universal or common categories of the experience of divine guidance as

reported by all 9 coresearchers were: Source as an object of experience; the experience of

seeking guidance; the experience of receiving guidance; and the experience of following

guidance (see Table L1). The relationships (relatedness) of these categories, as reported by

the coresearchers (see Figure 7), includes the Source being the source or cause of the

experience of receiving guidance; the seeking of guidance leads to the receiving of

guidance; the receiving of guidance leads to the following of that guidance; and following

guidance leads back to seeking guidance again. Additionally, as indicated in Figure 7, the

Source of guidance is reported to be associated with the experiences of seeking and

following guidance through various mediating factors (see below and Chapter 4).

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Figure 7. Diagram of the commonly-reported categories of the experience. Codes for

reported categories of experience are in shadowed boxes; linking lines with arrows

indicate transitive movement, and lines without arrows indicate symmetric movement;

labels for linking lines indicate movement between linked codes.

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Each of the four commonly-reported categories also included three commonly-

reported substructures or patterns of experience. The perception of a Source as an object of

experience includes the commonly-reported patterns of ascribing attributes, motives, and

activities to this Source (see Table L3). The common experience of seeking and/or being

sought includes the commonly-reported patterns of preparation, purification, and practices

(see Table L5). The common experience of receiving guidance includes the commonly-

reported patterns of the form, content, and quality of the communication received (see

Table L8). The common experience of following includes the commonly-reported patterns

of the effects (fruits) of the experience, discernment, and incorporation (see Table L12).

The addition of these commonly-reported patterns or substructures of each of the

commonly-reported categories of experience suggests a growing complexity of the

relationships between these categories and their subsequent patterns of experience, as

illustrated in Figure 8. This complexity appears to include the increase of dual relationships

between the patterns: Discernment is a pattern of following, as well as being a practice; and

content is a pattern of receiving that is also associated with the following pattern of

incorporation, in that the content of communication must ultimately be incorporated into

the individual’s life. Adding to this complexity are the reports of both transitive

(directional) and symmetric (associative) descriptive relations (Muhr, 2003) between the

categories and patterns (see Chapter 3 and Appendix N). Some patterns are reported to be

directly related to each other, as in the case of the reports of practices leading to

purification; and some patterns, like the form, content, and quality of the guidance received,

are associated (interrelated) with each other without any reported perceived causal

connections (see Figure 8).

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Figure 8. Diagram of the commonly-reported categories of the experience and their

associated substructures or patterns of experience. Codes for reported categories and

patterns of experience are in shadowed boxes. Linking lines with arrows indicate

transitive movement, and lines without arrows indicate symmetric movement. Labels for

linking lines indicate movement between linked codes (Symbolic labels: => is a cause of;

== is associated with; [] is a part of).

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Each of these 12 commonly-reported substructures or patterns included numerous

particular and contextual elements and forms of the manifested patterns, which combined to

make each experience of guidance both unique and universal in nature. Table 4 illustrates

this patterning of the structures and substructures of the experience, as reported in this

inquiry. The four commonly-reported categories of the experience (Source, seeking,

receiving, and following) each have three reported substructures or commonly-reported

patterns of the experience, which in turn reportedly manifest into various particular and

contextual elements and forms (see Table 4). For example, the combination of the forms of

the attributes, motives, and activities an individual ascribed to the perceived Source

appeared to give them a unique and particular perceptual construct of that Source.

Table 4 Reported Categories and Associated Patterns, Elements, and Forms Universal Categories Universal Patterns Particular/Contextual Elements and Forms Source

Attributes Various attributes ascribed to Source

Motives Various motives ascribed to Source

Activities Various activities ascribed to Source

Seeking Preparation Various processes of preparation

Purification Various processes of purification

Practices 19 practices and tools reported

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Table 4 (Continued) Universal Categories Universal Patterns Particular/Contextual Elements and Forms Receiving Form 23 forms of communication reported

Content 10 types of content reported

Quality 30 qualities of the experience reported

Following Effects 51 effects of the experience reported

Discernment 9 elements of discernment reported

Incorporation 16 elements of incorporation reported

Note. Universal categories and patterns are defined as structures of experience commonly reported by all 9 coresearchers that also have a high degree of groundedness (G) and density (D).

Factors of Experience and Associated Patterns, Elements, and Forms

The universal or common factors of the experience of divine guidance, as reported

by all 9 coresearchers were: contributing factors, impeding factors, developmental factors,

and mediating factors (see Table L17). According to the coresearchers’ reports, these

factors appeared to be associated with each other, as well as being associated with some or

all of the four commonly-reported categories of experience (see Figure 9 and Appendix N)

through each factor’s various substructures or patterns (see below). Figure 9 illustrates this

interconnectedness between the reported factors and categories by adding the four factors to

the previous diagram of the four categories (see Figure 7).

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Figure 9. Diagram of the commonly-reported factors of the experience and their

relationships with the commonly-reported categories of the experience. Codes for

reported factors and categories of experience are in shadowed boxes. Linking lines with

arrows indicate transitive movement, and lines without arrows indicate symmetric

movement. Labels for linking lines indicate movement between linked codes (Symbolic

labels: => is a cause of; == is associated with).

Each of these four universal or common factors included various commonly-

reported substructures or patterns of experience. Contributing factors included the

commonly-reported patterns of both internal and external factors that contributed to the

seeking of divine guidance (see Table L18). Impeding factors included the commonly-

reported patterns of obstacles and personal constructs that impeded the experience (see

Table L19). Developmental factors included the commonly-reported patterns of

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relationship to Source, faith, will, and surrender (see Table L22). Mediating factors

included the commonly-reported patterns of effort and grace, set and setting, life

experiences and events, and transcendent education (see Table L24).

As in the case of the commonly-reported categories and their associated

substructures, these commonly-reported factors and their substructures also appear to form

a complex network of transitive, symmetric, and dual relationships (see Figure 10). For

example, as illustrated in Figure 10, surrender, will, and faith are reported to be

developmental factors; faith is reported to lead to surrender; lack of surrender and/or faith is

reported to lead to obstacles (impeding factors); surrender and will appear to be associated

in that the degree of surrender of personal will to Divine Will is reported to affect one’s

ability to seek, receive, and follow guidance; and all three of these developmental factors

are reported to affect and be affected by the development of an individual’s relationship to

Source, which is also reported to be affected by various contributing and mediating factors

(see Figure 10, Appendix M, and Appendix N).

The reported associations between these factors of experience and the categories of

experience, along with their respective substructures or patterns suggests that all of these

structures of the experience are deeply related to each other and influence each other in a

variety of ways (see Figure 11). For example, as shown in Figure 11, impeding, mediating,

and developmental factors are commonly reported to affect the seeking, receiving, and

following of divine guidance; and while contributing factors were reported to primarily

effect the seeking of divine guidance, the coresearchers’ descriptions of these factors

suggest that most of these factors continue to influence the other categories of the

experience as well (see Figure 11, Appendix M, and Appendix N).

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Figure 10. Diagram of the commonly-reported factors and associated patterns. Codes for

reported factors and categories of experience are in shadowed boxes. Linking lines with

arrows indicate transitive movement, and lines without arrows indicate symmetric

movement. Labels for linking lines indicate movement between linked codes (Symbolic

labels: => is a cause of; == is associated with; [] is a part of).

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Figure 11. Diagram of the commonly-reported factors and categories with associated

patterns. Codes for reported factors and categories of experience are in shadowed boxes.

Linking lines with arrows indicate transitive movement, and lines without arrows indicate

symmetric movement. Labels for linking lines indicate movement between linked codes

(Symbolic labels: => is a cause of; == is associated with; [] is a part of).

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Additionally, as in the case of the reports of the categories of the experience, each

of the commonly-reported substructures or patterns of these reported factors of experience

also included numerous particular and contextual elements and forms of the manifested

patterns, which combined to make each experience of guidance both unique and universal

in nature. Table 5 illustrates this patterning of the structures and substructures of the factors

of the experience, as reported in this inquiry. As in the case of the categories of the

experience, the four commonly-reported factors of the experience (contributing, impeding,

developmental, and mediating factors) each have reported substructures or commonly-

reported patterns of the experience, which in turn reportedly manifest into various particular

and contextual elements and forms (see Table 5).

This reported unique formation of the particular and contextual elements and forms

of the commonly-reported factors and associated patterns, along with the reports of the

influence between these factors and the categories of experience, suggests that these unique

factor configurations of the experience play a crucial role in the creation of an

idiosyncratically diverse experience across all commonly-reported structures of the

experience. This idiosyncratic patterning of factors appear to combine to create a unique set

and setting for the experience of divine guidance to unfold. The elements and forms of this

unique set and setting include an individual’s collective life and religious experiences;

cultural influences; personal predisposition factors; personal constructs of self, Source, and

world; level of faith; degree of willingness to surrender to a perceived divine source; and

degree of willingness of effort and openness to grace. These findings also suggest that this

unique set and setting may establish the “curriculum” or learning needs for the commonly-

reported transcendent education process.

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Table 5 Reported Factors and Associated Patterns, Elements, and Forms Universal Factors Universal Patterns Particular/Contextual Elements and

Forms Contributing Factors Internal Factors 6 internal contributing factors reported

External Factors 4 external contributing factors reported

Impeding Factors Obstacles 21 obstacles reported

Personal Constructs 10 impeding constructs reported

Developmental Factors Relationship to Source Development of relationship to Source

Faith Degree of Faith

Will Degree of Self/Divine Locus of Control

Surrender Degree of Surrender

Mediating Factors Effort and Grace Synergy of Effort and Grace

Set and Setting Synergy of Set and Setting

Life Experience/Events Influential life experiences/events

Transcendent Education Individual transcendent education plan

Note. Universal factors and patterns are defined as structures of experience commonly reported by all 9 coresearchers that also have a high degree of groundedness (G) and density (D).

A Conceptual Template of the Experience

Through computer-based thematic and content relationship networking and mind-

mapping techniques, the above commonly-reported structures of experience were

developed into a synthesized conceptual map or template of the experience of divine

guidance to extend the conceptual mapping of the experience, and to act as an aid to

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counselors, practitioners, and researchers exploring the experience of divine guidance (see

below). This Guidance Experience Template (GET) is an illustration of the potential

universal structuring of the experience of divine guidance within which the individual

coresearcher’s uniquely particular and contextual experience appears to unfold (see Figure

12).

Figure 12. The Guidance Experience Template (GET). The above template depicts the

primary commonly-reported factors, categories, and patterns of the experience of divine

guidance in the form of a synthesized conceptual map. See Appendix O for a larger and

more detailed illustration of this template.

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The circular layout of this template was used to capture additional dimensions of the

reported patterns of relationship within and between the structures of the experience that

were not easily expressed in the hierarchical semantic networks and tables used in the

primary conceptual mapping of the findings. Each structure’s reported links with other

structures (density) and the number of times these relationships were reported

(groundedness) were used to guide the placement and ordering of the structures of the

experience within this circular map of the territory (see Appendix N).

The center hole or hub of the wheel represents the true source of guidance reported

to be beyond the constructs ascribed to said Source. The lines or spokes of the wheel

emanating from this center hub illustrate the influence this Source is reported to have over

all commonly-reported patterns, categories, and factors.

The outer-most circle of the template displays the four universal or common factors

that were reported to influence the process of divine guidance. These factors are placed at

the end of each of the four main spokes, illustrating the reports that these factors are

perceived to be significantly related to the Source of the experience. While common factors

are positioned at areas of highest reported relatedness (groundedness) to the categories of

experience, all four factors are reported to influence all categories and patterns of

experience (illustrated by the lack of boundaries within this outer-most circle).

Additionally, the pairing of the factors across the central spokes of the wheel illustrates the

reported connections between the pairs: Contributing factors were reported to significantly

influence developing factors (i.e., early religious experiences reportedly effected the degree

of faith and willingness to surrender personal will to Divine Will); and mediating factors

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were reported to significantly influence impeding factors (i.e., the perceived purpose of the

transcendent education process is reported to be the removal of obstacles and constructs).

The next inner circle is divided into four quadrants representing the four reported

general categories of the experience, which are further divided into the three commonly-

reported patterns within each of these categories. The placement of these 12 patterns or

category substructures illustrate the parallel and adjacent connections or links between the

patterns. For example, the placement of the practice of seeking adjacent to the form of

receiving (i.e., the practice of I Ching results in the receiving form of I Ching readings)

illustrates the connections between these neighboring structures; and the placement of the

perceived motives of Source parallel to the content of communication received (i.e., the

Source motive of offering direction leads to the content of receiving direction) illustrates

the connections between these corresponding structures.

The additional perspectives offered by the mapping of these structures in this

circular template form, suggests that each mapping of the territory of this experience offers

another view of a complex and multidimensional experience. The use of various conceptual

maps or templates to view the findings of this study are an attempt to capture a more whole

or gestalt understanding of the experience without getting attached to a single construct or

template, which might overly limit the perception of the experience.

Man looks at his world through transparent patterns or templates which he creates and then attempts to fit over the realities of which the world is composed. The fit is not always very good. Yet without such patterns the world appears to be such an undifferentiated homogeneity that man is unable to make any sense out of it. (Kelly, 1955, pp. 8-9)

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Discussion of the Findings

The following is a discussion of the findings of this inquiry. This discussion

includes a comparison of the findings with the literature, along with analyses of the

additional findings of the metaphors of divine encounter, the researcher’s resonant learning

experience, and researcher’s guidance experiences on the path of inquiry.

Comparing the Findings with the Literature

The categories of seeking, receiving, and following reported by the coresearchers

directly correspond to the tripartite nature of the experience reported in the review of the

literature (Campbell, 1949; Cordner, 1981; Hymer, 1990). The fourth reported category of

Source as an object of the experience is also discussed in the literature (Wilson, 1991), but

it does not appear to be as significantly related to the tripartite nature of the experience as in

the coresearcher’s reports of the experience. The similarities between the reports of these

categories of experience in the present study and those reported in the literature, along with

the addition of the coresearcher’s reports of the significance of the relationship between the

perceived Source of the experience and the seeking, receiving, and following of the

experience, suggests that the findings of this study may offer a more complete picture of

this aspect of the reported experience of divine guidance.

Observed correlations between the coresearcher’s reports of the patterns of their

perceptions of the Source of their experiences and Wilson’s (1991) typology of perceived

constructs of a divine Ultimate Reality (see Chapter 2 and Table 1) suggest that these

patterns of experience may have a greater generalizability beyond the present study.

Additionally, the coresearchers propensity to use more than one construct to describe their

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perception of the Source of guidance appears to correlate and confirm Wilson’s (1991)

observations that each tradition tends to have this same tendency.

A greater generalizability is also suggested for all of the above patterns of

experience by further correlations between the coresearcher reports and the literature. The

coresearchers’ reported patterns of preparation, purification, and practices within the

experience of seeking guidance have been observed in the historical accounts of mystics

(Underhill, 1961). The coresearchers’ reported patterns of form, content, and quality within

the experience of receiving guidance have been recorded in many of the biographical and

autobiographical accounts of the experience (Alschuler, 1987, 1993; Gordon, 1949;

Hastings, 1991; Hymer, 1990; Van Dusen, 2004). The coresearchers’ reported patterns of

effects, discernment, and incorporation within the experience of following guidance have

been noted in both empirical and theoretical studies of the experience (Alschuler, 1987;

Baugh, 1988; Boersma, 1989; Julian, 1987).

While all of these category substructures or patterns were found in some form

within the literature (see Chapter 2 and Table L30), the relationships (relatedness) of these

patterns to each other and the larger categories of the experience were not significantly

reported in the literature reviewed for this inquiry. As in the case of the categories of the

experience, the findings of this study, as they are related to these patterns within the

categories, suggest the discovery of a more complete picture of this aspect of the reported

experience of divine guidance.

Similar to the reports of the categories of the experience, the reported factors of the

experience were also mentioned to some degree in the literature reviewed for this inquiry

(see Chapter 2 and Table L30), while the relationships between the factors and their

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associated patterns reported in this inquiry were not discovered in the review of the

literature. It also should be noted that direct mention of the labels of the four factors were

not found in the literature, and their articulation in this study may offer a new way of

organizing these patterns.

A comparison of the literature and the findings of this inquiry revealed a lack of

conflict between the two. All reported structures of the experience appear to have

correlations to the literature (see Table L30), while discussions of these structures of

experience in the literature varied in scope and detail of coverage, and the degree of direct

relatedness to each other and the topic of inquiry. This lack of major contradictions between

the literature and the findings of this study suggests the possible extension of the findings

beyond the present research sample.

Additionally, the relatedness between the structures of the experience of divine

guidance suggested by the findings of this inquiry were not found in the review of the

literature. The mapping of these relationships in the present study may prove to be a

valuable addition and contribution to the body of literature related to the experience of

divine guidance by offering a more complete map of the territory of the experience than

presently found in the literature.

Metaphors and Themes of Divine Encounter

Metaphors, symbols, and analogies are essential in describing the process. . . . They function to stimulate and catalyze

these inner experiences. (Metzner, 1986, p. ix)

Each of the coresearchers reported having a particular metaphoric way of

perceiving and describing the pattern of their guidance encounters. These “metaphors of

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divine encounter” appeared to take the form of a central metaphor or archetypal image that

the coresearcher associated with their experience of divine guidance (see Table L28) and

seems to have been developed through and influenced by their personal, cultural, and/or

religious experiences. While each coresearcher appeared to emphasize one central

metaphor of divine encounter, several of these metaphors were mentioned by other

coresearchers as additional ways of perceiving their guidance, which suggests that these

patterns might not necessarily be unique in nature.

The metaphors of divine encounter, as reported by the coresearchers, were:

Acceptance of a divine invitation; connecting to a divine pipeline or transmission lineage;

observing and listening to the voices of nature; being in the divine stillness after the storms

of mind, emotion, and perception are subdued; dipping into the divine inner river;

perceiving all of life as guidance; becoming a divine vehicle; harmonizing with the divine

flow; and creating a dwelling place for the Divine Presence to enter. The researcher

reported the additional metaphor of divine encounter of a sense being drawn into a field of

divine gravity (see Appendix B, lines 105-283).

Each of these metaphors appears to represent the individuals’ sense of Source along

with their sense of the way this Source communicates on a visceral and archetypal level.

Lakoff and Johnson (1980) suggest that this tendency to use metaphors to describe personal

experiences is inherent in the conceptual systems of the human mind, and that it “plays a

central role in defining our everyday realities” (p. 3). Extensive linguistic evidence reveals

that using metaphors helps “structure how we perceive, how we think, and what we do” (p.

4).

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Studies have also found that the specific metaphor used to describe a situation

caused the people involved to have different attitudes toward the situation and the others

involved (Hastings, 1970; Robins, 1996). This suggests that the different metaphors used by

the coresearchers of this study may have affected their relationship to guidance by

influencing their “cognitive representations, choices, decisions, and resolutions to everyday

dilemmas” (Robins, 1996, p. 180). In other words, the metaphorical reframing of everyday

choices into opportunities to seek, receive, and follow divine guidance through a specific

metaphor of encounter may produce a new reality that matches the point of view

represented by the particular metaphor being used (Hastings, 1970).

In Metzner’s (1986) study of the metaphors of transformation he notes that

metaphor and symbol are used extensively in most religious and mystical traditions to

express the ineffable experiences of transformation and transcendence, like that of the

experience of divine guidance. Since the nature of metaphor is an “ontological mapping

across conceptual domains” (Lakoff & Johnson, 1980, p. 25), they naturally help to express

experiences and ideas beyond the domain of normal everyday experience. By connecting

the ineffable domain of encountering a divine source with a more substantive and material

domain (i.e., a river or stream), these metaphors are able to express a conceptually abstract

experience in a more visceral and concrete way.

Metzner also observed that the different metaphors used to describe these

transcendent experiences represented variations on the theme of the central experience

being described (1986). In this way, the metaphors of divine encounter reported by the

coresearchers and the researcher may represent variations on the theme of encountering a

source of divine guidance (see Table 6).

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Table 6 Themes and Metaphors of Divine Encounter Themes Metaphors Encounter through connecting with a flow Divine Flow, Inner River/Stream Encounter through connecting with a field Divine Gravity Encounter through energetic shift Divine Invitation Encounter through becoming a conduit Divine Vehicle, Divine Pipeline Encounter through self-sanctification Dwelling Place Encounter through intermediary elements Voices of Nature, Life as Guidance Encounter through exclusion of elements Divine Stillness

Note. The nine metaphors of divine encounter reported by the coresearchers, and the one metaphor reported by the researcher are categorized into seven themes of divine encounter.

The variations of themes and metaphors in the reported descriptions of divine

encounter, and the reported use of more than one theme and metaphor by several

coresearchers suggests that these themes and metaphors are pointing to a perceived source

that is variable in nature, depending on the individual and circumstance. The shared

symbolic nature of these themes and metaphors among the coresearchers indicates that

these particular experiences may also “serve as an opening, doorway, or pathway to the

universal” (Braud, 2002, p. 53). This blending of the particular (idiographic) and the

universal (nomothetic) has been seen throughout this study, and has been observed in other

domains of experience and knowing (Braud, 2002).

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Resonant Interaction and Learning

If someone plucks a string on a cello on one side of a room, a string of a cello on the opposite side will begin to vibrate . . . [and] striking a tuning fork will vibrate another some distance away. The resonance communicates and connects directly and immediately without intermediaries except for space and air. (Anderson, 1998, p. 73)

The researcher unexpectedly seemed to experientially receive each of the

coresearcher’s (9/9) metaphors of divine encounter through some kind of “mimicking” or

resonant interaction phenomenon. The researcher experienced this phenomenon as a form

of resonant learning, similar to the resonant interaction and learning observed between

local and nonlocal neural networks and quantum events in which both interconnected and

distant neural and quantum systems appear to learn each other’s patterns of operation

(Dauce, Quoy, & Doyon, 2002; Horacek, Cizek, & Domcke, 1998; Morimoto et al., 2003).

From a parapsychological perspective, this resonant interaction phenomenon could

also be explained as a form of direct mental interaction between the researcher and

coresearchers. Similar local and nonlocal direct mental interactions with living systems in

dyadic situations have been observed and documented in various parapsychological

research studies (Braud, 2003). The results of these studies “suggest that at certain levels,

the two apparently separate and distinct bodies are really one [and that] certain states of

mind and stations of being can facilitate entrance into this realm wherein merging with

another is possible” (Braud, 1995, p. 39). Additionally, various relatively specific

parapsychological or “psychic” (psi) processes could be named in connection with this

phenomenon including precognition, telepathy, clairvoyance, psychokinesis, and

telesomatic influences between the researcher and coresearchers (W. Braud, personal

communication, February 20, 2004; Radin, 1997; Schwarz, 1967).

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A more general “explanation” might suggest that a field-like effect or influence was

in evidence here (Braud, Shafer, McNeill, & Guerra, 1995) or that the perception of subtle

and not-so-subtle cues from the coresearchers during the interviews could have influenced

the researcher and triggered some kind of unconscious dramatization effect both during and

after the interviews. This dramatization effect could be viewed as a form of self-teaching,

via dramatizations of the lessons the researcher was uncovering in the interviews (Braud,

1994).

This resonant interaction experience also has commonalities with the phenomenon

of sympathetic resonance observed between vibrating physical systems, like that of one

tuning fork communicating its vibrations to another physically separate tuning fork.

Anderson (1998) suggests that this principle of sympathetic resonance may also be

observed in the scientific endeavor between researcher, subjects, and findings; in qualitative

research, the description of an experience can often require “the use of metaphors, similes,

and symbols . . . [which] . . . may present a pattern of descriptions rather like a pattern of

harmonics . . . [in that others] . . . may recognize their own experiences (or similar ones)

expressed within it” (Anderson, 1998, pp. 73-74). Anderson also suggests that the presence

of this form of sympathetic resonance in qualitative inquiry can be an indicator of the

validity of this resonant experiential data (1998). In this way, the presence of the resonant

interaction and learning experience reported between the researcher and coresearchers of

this study may also be viewed as form of resonant validation of the coresearchers

metaphors of divine encounter.

Research can function more like poetry in its capacity for immediate apprehension and recognition of an experience spoken by another and yet (surprisingly and refreshingly, perhaps) be true for the researcher, as well. (Anderson, 1998, p. 73)

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Any and/or all of these processes may be at work in relation to this phenomenon,

which raises some methodological implications for researchers working in similar research

settings. This resonant learning phenomenon appears to have been adaptive or need-

satisfying for the researcher in the particular contexts in which it occurred and could

represent a living example of the transcendent education process reported by the

coresearchers and by Alschuler (1987, 1993) in his study on the historical reports of inner

voice experiences (see Chapter 2). Additionally, there are also correlations between this

experience and the experience of Guru Yoga described by Bogart (1997) in which a

spiritual aspirant “who opens to meet an enlightened guide . . . inwardly [merges] with the

teacher’s awareness through internal attunement” (p. 127).

Guidance on the Path of Inquiry

As the researcher of this inquiry, I experimented with and employed various

guidance-related methods and techniques to help guide the entire research process, as well

as my everyday life (see Chapter 3, Chapter 4, and Appendix C). While all the methods that

were employed and tested appeared to have had a significant effect, some methods

appeared to have had a greater perceived effect. Familiarity and the number of years of

practice and training I had in each method did not seem to have a significant impact upon

my perception of the method’s effectiveness. The methods that seemed more effective to

me appeared to be more resonant with my being on some unconscious level.

The guidance I received during these self-experimentation processes appeared to

offer superior information; as I experimented with the different methods my ability to

discern between higher and lower guidance appeared to develop and improve; and the

guidance I received often seemed to support and/or affirm the research journey, frequently

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appearing to prod me to keep going when I began to doubt myself, and the path of inquiry I

was on. The testing of a specific tradition’s guidance method while I was studying the

literature of that tradition appeared to deepen both my understanding of that tradition as

well as appearing to deepen the experience of the guidance processes I was exploring. The

use of guidance methods in the interview process appeared to increase my ability to be

present with the coresearchers, expanded my awareness of the information they were

sharing, and produced a sense of sacredness or holiness of encounter in which I often

sensed the presence of a third force in the process.

In general, the application of methods of seeking, receiving, and following divine

guidance to the entire research process and my everyday life experiences appeared to

produce the perception of the presence of a transcendent education process functioning in

all aspects of my life. I felt as though every experience was a lesson or teaching tool for

both my research into this topic and for my own personal growth. The previously discussed

reported resonant learning experience between the coresearchers and myself also felt like

an integral part of this seemingly divinely guided transcendent education curriculum that

mysteriously appeared to be perfectly tailored to this path of lived inquiry.

Synthesized Discussion

The following synthesized discussion section includes a combined synthesis and

discussion of the results of this inquiry in the form of a creative synthesis and composite

depiction of the experience, along with an expression of the personal impact of this inquiry

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on the researcher. Both the creative synthesis and the composite depiction are heuristic

presentation methods, used to both synthesize and explicate the core themes and essential

qualities of the topic of inquiry (see Chapter 3). The creative synthesis uses the personal

and creative resources of the individual to express the findings in a creative form, while the

composite depiction is a text-based comprehensive description of the experience distilled

from the collective reports of the experience.

Creative Synthesis

The major concepts that underlie a creative synthesis are the tacit dimension, intuition, and self-searching. The researcher must move beyond any confined or constricted attention to the data itself and permit an inward life on the question to grow, in such a way that a complete comprehensive expression of the essences of the phenomenon investigated is realized. (Moustakas, 1990, p. 32)

Synthesized Conceptualization of the Experience

For the culmination of the lived inquiry process, I began the creative synthesis for

this study by asking myself what I had personally learned about this elusive experience of

divine guidance, and how I would convey this to others. I meditated on each of the four

reported categories of the experience and repeated over and over in my mind, “what have I

learned?” Gradually I discerned four basic concepts that seemed to express what I had

learned about the fundamental nature of this experience during this research journey. The

four concepts that emerged from this synthesis were: Guidance is continuously transmitted

by its Source; seeking this guidance requires the removal of obstacles; receiving this

guidance requires an opening of various channels of reception; and following this guidance

requires the discerning of the message received (see Appendix P for a flowchart of these

concepts in action).

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Continual Transmission. The first concept I learned about this experience of divine

guidance during my research expedition was that no matter what identity, attributes,

motives, and activities the coresearchers and I ascribed to the Source of guidance, all of us

seemed to perceive that the guidance from this Source was continually being transmitted.

Thus, it was always present and available to us.

Removing the Obstacles. The second concept I learned from this inquiry was that

for myself and for the coresearchers, the seeking of this guidance seemed to entail the

removal of the obstacles within us that were somehow limiting our ability to receive this

continuously transmitted guidance. These obstacles appeared to include our fears,

attachments, expectations, and various limiting mental, emotional, and perceptual

constructs we had about the source of guidance, the world around us, and ourselves.

Opening the Channels. The third concept I learned from my own experiences and

those shared by the coresearchers was that the receiving of divine guidance appeared to

require an opening of various channels of reception; since this continuously transmitted

guidance seemed to come in a variety of forms, receiving this guidance often called for an

ability to “listen” in a variety of ways. These forms appeared to include guidance

transmitted through internally and/or externally mediated mental, emotional, visual,

auditory, sensory, and intuitive channels of perception; from the murmuring messages of an

inner “small still voice” to a set of external events and circumstances that seemed to speak

to us in mysterious ways.

Discerning the Message. The fourth concept I learned during this research process

was that, following the reception of divine guidance, it appeared that the coresearchers and I

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had to discern the meaning and authenticity of the message received. This included having

to find a way to ascertain the appropriate response to the guidance.

Synthesized Guidance Practice

In addition to the discernment of these four basic concepts, I attempted to

synthesize the findings of this inquiry on a more practical and tacit level by developing a

Synthesized Guidance Practice (SGP) from the guidance-related methods I experimented

with during this study, along with some of the teachings I learned from my coresearchers

and the literature (see Appendix Q). I developed this method by first entering a receptive

state using one of the guidance-related self-experimentation methods (see Appendix C),

then I allowed myself the freedom to work with any element or form that arose in my mind

and body. Gradually this mind-body synthesis evolved into a daily morning purification

practice and a Synthesized Guidance Meditation (SGM) for the seeking, receiving, and

following of divine guidance throughout the day (see Appendix R).

This synthesized daily morning purification practice grew into a 16-step 20-minute

series of physical, mental, emotional, perceptual, energetic, and spiritual purification

exercises adapted from Shamanism, Hinduism, Taoism, Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity,

Islam, Aikido, and a variety of other esoteric and metaphysical traditions. It includes an

assortment of breathing, chanting, body movement, meditation, prayer, visualization, as

well as spatial, somatic, and energy awareness processes. The practice culminates with a

short form version of the Synthesized Guidance Meditation (SGM) (see Appendix Q).

The Synthesized Guidance Meditation (SGM) evolved into a meditative daily

situational practice for the seeking, receiving, and following of divine guidance. It includes

brief processes for three of the four above mentioned basic concepts: The removal of

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obstacles (seeking), the opening of various communication channels (receiving), and

discerning the guidance received (following) (see Appendix R).

The daily morning performance of the Synthesized Guidance Practice (SGP)

appeared to establish a sense-memory marker for my experience of being in a “guidance

receptivity” state of consciousness. I was then able to recall this sense-memory at will

throughout the day with the use of the Synthesized Guidance Meditation (SGM). The

diversity of physical, psychological, and sensory purification processes that organically

evolved during the creation of this practice seemed to have provided me with an

experiential synthesis of the previously mentioned basic concepts of removing the obstacles

and opening the channels of reception. The periodic use of the Synthesized Guidance

Meditation (SGM) throughout the day for specific guidance situations appeared to

strengthen my ability to seek, receive, and follow guidance from a perceived divine source.

Overall, the process of developing and implementing both the Synthesized Guidance

Practice (SGP) and Synthesized Guidance Meditation (SGM) has given me a sense of

integration and embodiment for all that I have learned on this research journey.

Composite Depiction

The composite depiction of an experience is developed through a process of immersion into, study of, and concentration on the experience of the phenomenon as presented by each coresearcher. At some point in this process the qualities, core themes, and essences that permeate the experience of the entire group of coresearchers are understood and a universal depiction is constructed. (Moustakas, 1990, p. 68)

The following is an additional conceptual mapping of the experience of divine

guidance using the heuristic presentation method of creating a composite depiction to

textually represent the experience, as reported by the coresearchers of this study and

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myself, as the researcher. An example of an actual first-person narrative depiction of the

experience of divine guidance can be found in Appendix B, lines 105-283.

The seeker of divine guidance appears to have a conceptualization of a source of

guidance (God, Spirit, Higher Self, etc.) that includes the projection of various particular

attributes (imminent, transcendent, etc.) motives (beneficent, merciful, etc.) and activities

(creator, sustainer, etc.) onto that Source. The attributes, motives, and activities the seeker

ascribes to the Source seem to affect their ability to connect with that Source.

The seeker seems to seek a connection with the perceived Source through a process

of preparation and purification facilitated by the performance of certain practices, such as

prayer, meditation, and ritual. The perceived Source also appears to seek out the seeker,

assisting with and/or instigating the process of preparation and purification, and sometimes

even offering the seeker an experience of spontaneous guidance through divine grace.

The communication the seeker receives from this perceived Source seems to come

in a variety of forms (perceptual shift, inner voice, visions, etc.) that appear to carry a

particular content (information, direction, etc.), along with a range of experiential qualities

(sense of a higher presence, heart-opening, etc.). The variety of forms seems to require a

degree of openness and receptivity within the seeker. The seeker’s encounter with this

perceived Source also appears to be experienced through the lens of an archetypal

metaphor or theme of encounter (dipping into an inner river, becoming a divine vehicle,

etc.) depending on the personal, cultural, and religious influences of the seeker’s life.

Following the receiving of communication from the Source, the seeker seems to

experience various effects (fruits) of the experience (purification, consolation,

transformation, etc.). The seeker then uses the effects of the experience, along with the

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form, content, and qualities of the communication that were received, to discern the

authenticity, validity, and meaning of the communication. The seeker then seeks to

incorporate the experience into their own life and consciousness.

The seeker’s entire process of seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance

also appears to be influenced by various other factors. These factors seem to contribute to,

impede, develop, and mediate the experience.

There are a variety of internal and external factors that appear to have contributed

to the seeker’s original seeking of the experience of divine guidance and that continue to

influence the ongoing process. These may include experiences of insight, the seeker’s

relationship to the perceived Source, a sense of being called by the perceived Source, and

various other life and religious experiences and influences.

There is an assortment of personal obstacles (ego, lack of awareness, fear, etc.) and

personal constructs (mental, emotional, perceptual) that appear to impede or block the

seeker’s ability to seek, receive, and follow divine guidance. The seeker must transform

and/or transcend these obstacles and constructs through the processes of preparation and

purification in order to move past the resistances to seeking and following, and to clear the

barriers to receiving the guidance that is continually being transmitted.

The seeker’s particular developing relationship to the Source, and their evolving

degree of faith, will, and ability to surrender appear to develop over time and with

experience. In turn, they may exert a developmental influence on the process itself.

The seeker’s entire experience of divine guidance also appears to be mediated by a

synergy between effort and grace, the creation of a conducive set and setting, as well as

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influential life experiences and events. A process of transcendent education also seems to

influence the seeker’s process of purification, and their personal and spiritual growth.

Ultimately, the seeker’s authentic experience of divine guidance tends to be

perceived as a profound subjective experience. It appears to offer superior information,

knowledge, wisdom, and direction; foster constructive personal, interpersonal and

transpersonal growth and healing; and elicit a wide range of positive affectivity.

Expression of Personal Impact

To complete the data analysis and synthesis process I decided to take some time to

reflect back on my entire research journey. After an extended period of self-reflection, I

sought guidance through the above mentioned Synthesized Guidance Meditation (SGM),

and asked the Divine to help me discern what else I needed to express about this topic of

inquiry and my “lived inquiry” experience of it. At first my mind emptied of all thought;

then I felt a rush of energy and the following words flowed through me onto the page.

I have been circling around and through this topic of inquiry for many years. I have

immersed myself in the literature related to the experience of divine guidance, from modern

empirical investigations to the ancient diaries of spiritual mystics. I have searched through

time and memory for the traces of divine guidance in my own life. I have asked spiritual

masters and advanced psycho-spiritual explorers to share their own experiences and

understanding of divine guidance. I have personally sought, received, and followed

guidance from a perceived divine source to help guide this research journey. I have

extended this seeking, receiving, and following of guidance into every aspect of my

everyday life, in order to fully “live” this inquiry. Throughout this process I have circled

through all these aspects of the journey over and over again, looking for the patterns of the

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experience in hopes of finding a map of the territory of this ancient and elusive human

experience.

As I reflect back on this research endeavor I feel that I have learned a great deal;

that I have gathered and synthesized a lot of information and knowledge; and that I have

achieved my objective of accomplishing a preliminary mapping of the territory of this

experience. Yet beyond all the information, knowledge, and conceptual maps I have

acquired on this journey of lived inquiry, my ultimate finding has been the growth and

transformation that appears to have occurred within me. It seems as though my entire

perception of my self and the world around me has shifted; my personal ability to seek,

receive, and follow guidance from a perceived divine source appears to have advanced in

ways beyond measure; and my sense and awareness of grace and blessing in my life has

deepened and expanded.

I feel profoundly transformed by this wondrous and challenging journey. It is as

though the greatest lessons I have received from this inquiry are beyond what my mind or

body can touch or hold. I have lived this inquiry, and ultimately the learning lives within

me.

As I reread the words I had written I felt a sense of awe and wonder at the journey I

had been on. In that moment it seemed as though my entire being was able to take in the

full extent and import of what I had experienced on this path of “lived inquiry.” Gratitude

filled my heart and tears welled up in my eyes as I touched something deep and profound;

something I still cannot fully express in words.

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Limitations

The possible limitations of this inquiry include a limited sample size (9

coresearchers) from a relatively homogenous cultural base with limited ethnic diversity (see

Chapter 3 and Appendix E). Additionally, since all coresearchers were residents of the state

of California (USA), their extended exposure to the progressive California culture may

have influenced their beliefs and attitudes around the topic of inquiry, and thereby possibly

limiting the generalizability of some of the findings. While the coresearchers’ current

practices represent several different religious and spiritual traditions, most of their religions

or traditions of origin are from the Judeo-Christian tradition (8 out of 9). In addition, several

major traditions are not represented (Buddhism, Taoism, Pagan and Goddess traditions,

etc.) in the current sample. The inclusion of researcher self-inquiry elements within the

research design and methods introduces a high degree of researcher subjectivity that could

also have limited various elements of the research process.

Implications and Applications

The results of this research suggest that the experience of divine guidance, as

documented in the current study, is characterized by a common structuring of the

experience that includes general categories, factors, and patterns which appear to manifest

in various particular and contextual forms depending on the individual person, event, and

circumstance. The presence of these commonly-reported structures of experience in the

reviewed literature suggests that these findings most likely extend beyond the present

research sample. The relative diversity of literature sources and the sample diversity of this

study also suggest that this common structuring of the experience may exist across the

boundaries of tradition, gender, and culture.

175

There is also some evidence that individuals who experience divine guidance

construct an archetypal and visceral way of holding and describing the experience through

the creation of a unique metaphor of divine encounter. The researcher’s apparent

experience of each of the coresearcher’s metaphor of divine encounter before, during, and

after each interview through some kind of resonant learning or mimicking process appears

to offer support and verification for the existence of the transcendent education process

described in the literature and by the coresearchers. The researcher’s successful application

of guidance methods and practices throughout the research process as a form of “lived

inquiry” may also have significant implications for transpersonal research and spiritual

inquiry. Additionally, the various textual and visual conceptual maps of the experience of

divine guidance yielded by this inquiry may serve as valuable tools for expanding and

deepening understanding of the experience as a whole, while hopefully offering a glimpse

of the inner workings of the experience for both seekers and guides.

One of these conceptual maps, the Guidance Experience Template (GET), may also

serve as a practical aid for counselors, practitioners, and researchers exploring the

experience of divine guidance (see Appendix O). The GET diagram could be used as a

contemplation tool by using it as the focal point of a mandala mediation practice in which

the seeker and/or guide contemplates the experience of divine guidance within themselves

or for others, progressively reflecting on each structure of experience along the wheel of the

diagram.

The GET diagram might also be used as an evaluation tool for both guides and

seekers, by combining it with the Guidance Experience Evaluation Checklist in Appendix

S. The seeker and/or guide could evaluate each structure of their own or another person’s

176

experience by going through the checklist and then marking the corresponding areas on the

template with a symbol for both positive (+) and negative (–) aspects observed. Once the

evaluation is complete, the template could be used as a visual indicator of greater and lesser

problem areas, along with an indication of possible patterns of relationships between

various structures of the experience.

Additional evaluation of the experience might also be explored by using the GET

diagram as a dowsing chart for pendulum-based divinatory assessment (Lonegren, 1990);

using this method the seeker and/or guide could seek unconscious and sensory-based input

on areas of strength and/or weakness by holding a pendulum over the GET diagram while

internally asking, “where is my (their) area of greatest strength?” and “where is my (their)

area of greatest weaknesses?” These questions could be targeted for a specific

issue/situation or used for a more general assessment of the individual’s relationship to the

experience of divine guidance as a whole.

The Synthesized Guidance Practice (SGP) and Synthesized Guidance Meditation

(SGM) developed during the creative synthesis of this inquiry may also prove to offer a

practical application of the experience of divine guidance to counselors, practitioners, and

researchers exploring the territory of this elusive experience (see Appendixes Q and R).

Ultimately, the findings of this inquiry, along with their implications and

applications, may offer a valuable contribution to the fields of spiritual and transpersonal

psychology by highlighting and advancing the understanding of a significant yet relatively

unexplored experience within these fields, the experience of divine guidance. The

conceptual maps and practical applications generated by this inquiry may be employed by

spiritual guides, spiritual directors, transpersonal therapists, and others working with

177

individuals going through spiritual growth, transformation, and emergence, to assist them in

accessing and helping their clients and directees. This research may also provide those who

are seeking guidance for themselves with a map of the experience and guidelines to help

them in their journey of seeking, receiving, and following guidance from a perceived divine

source.

Further Research

Suggestions for further research on this topic of inquiry include the replication of

the current study with a larger sample size from a more culturally and ethnically diverse

population with the inclusion of a larger variety of spiritual and religious traditions; studies

designed to test and verify the common structuring of the experience reported in this

inquiry; and explorations of applications derived from this research. Spiritual guides and

counselors may wish to test these findings against the patterns of experience observed

among their clients. In addition, for those individuals and groups involved in the personal

spiritual inquiry of the experience of divine guidance, the results of this research may be

used as a conceptual template and/or an experiential map of the territory to test and

compare with their own experiences.

178

179

IF thou would’st hear the Nameless, and wilt dive Into the Temple-cave of thine own self,

There, brooding by the central altar, thou May’st haply learn the Nameless hath a voice,

By which thou wilt abide, if thou be wise, As if thou knewest, tho’ thou canst not know;

For Knowledge is the swallow on the lake That sees and stirs the surface-shadow there But never yet hath dipt into the abysm . . .

—Alfred Lord Tennyson (The Ancient Sage, 1-9)

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APPENDIXES

APPENDIXES

Appendix A: Historical Figures ............................................................................................ 200

Appendix B: Researcher’s Self-Reflection Data .................................................................. 203

Appendix C: Researcher’s Self-Experimentation Methods ................................................. 213

Appendix D: Research Questions ......................................................................................... 223

Appendix E: Coresearcher Profiles ...................................................................................... 229

Appendix F: Coresearcher Letter of Invitation .................................................................... 234

Appendix G: Coresearcher Reply Form ............................................................................... 235

Appendix H: Coresearcher Consent Form ........................................................................... 236

Appendix I: Interview Guidance Procedures ....................................................................... 238

Appendix J: Interview Transcripts ....................................................................................... 241

Appendix K: Interview Observation Notes .......................................................................... 352

Appendix L: Tables of Results ............................................................................................. 373

Appendix M: Guidance Experience Semantic Network ...................................................... 414

Appendix N: Code Relations Report .................................................................................... 416

Appendix O: Guidance Experience Template (GET) .......................................................... 436

Appendix P: Synthesized Conceptualization Flowchart ...................................................... 437

Appendix Q: Synthesized Guidance Practice (SGP) ........................................................... 438

Appendix R: Synthesized Guidance Meditation (SGM) ..................................................... 452

Appendix S: Guidance Experience Evaluation Checklist .................................................... 454

Appendix T: Definitions and Terms ..................................................................................... 457

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Appendix A: Historical Figures

The following historical figures have been reported to have received guidance from

a Higher and/or Divine Source. These individuals, along with countless others who have

claimed to be divinely guided and inspired, have had a profound and substantial influence

on world events, religion, science, invention, economy, values, arts, and culture (Hastings,

1990). The names, time period, and domain of influence of each historical figure are listed

below in chronological order.

Abraham (1850 BCE). Biblical patriarch.

Jacob (1623 BCE). Biblical patriarch.

Moses (1275 BCE). Hebrew prophet and lawgiver.

Elijah (597-571 BCE). Hebrew prophet and reformer.

Buddha (563-483 BCE). Indian philosopher and founder of Buddhism.

The Pythia of the Oracle of Delphi (550 BCE). Greek oracle priestess who counseled warriors and kings.

Socrates (469-399 BCE). Greek philosopher.

Jesus (8 BCE-29 CE). Hebrew prophet and central figure of Christianity.

Saint Augustine (354-430 CE). Christian theologian, Latin father, and doctor of the Church.

Muhammad (570-632). Meccan prophet and founder of Islam.

Hildegard of Bingen (1098-1179). Christian abbess, mystic, writer, poet, and composer.

Francis of Assisi (1182-1226). Italian mystic, saint, and founder of the Franciscan Order.

Jalal al-Din Rumi (1207-1273). Persian mystic and Sufi poet.

Joan of Arc (1412-1431). National hero and patron saint of France, and decisive figure of the Hundred Years’ War.

Michelangelo (1475-1564). Italian painter, sculptor, architect, and poet.

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Martin Luther (1483-1546). German theologian and initiator of the Protestant Reformation.

Joseph Caro (1488-1575). Talmudic scholar and codifier of Jewish law.

Ignatius of Loyola (1491-1556). Spanish saint and ecclesiastic who founded the Order of the Jesuits.

Nostradamus (1503-1566). French physician, medical innovator, astrologer, and prophesier.

Teresa of Avila (1515-1582). Spanish saint, mystic, author, and founder of the Discalced Order.

John of the Cross (1542-1591). Spanish saint, mystic, poet, and theologian.

George Fox (1642-1691). English religious leader and founder of the Society of Friends.

Emanuel Swedenborg (1688-1772). Swedish scientist, philosopher, mystic, and theologian responsible for innovations and discoveries in mathematics, chemistry, physics, and biology.

Baal Shem Tov (1700-1760). Jewish mystic and founder of Hasidism.

William Blake (1757-1827). English poet, painter, visionary, mystic, and engraver.

John Keats (1795-1821). English poet and major figure in the Romantic Movement.

Miki Nakayama (1797-1887). Japanese peasant girl, who received revelations, founded Tenrikyo Shintoism, and became a saint.

Harriet Tubman (1820-1913). African American leader in the abolitionist movement who helped create the Underground Railroad and led hundreds of slaves to freedom.

Nettie Colburn Maynard (1841-1892). Spiritualist/medium for President Abraham Lincoln.

Robert Lewis Stevenson (1850-1894). Scottish novelist, essayist, poet, and children’s author.

George Washington Carver (1861-1943). American educator, chemist, botanist, and agricultural innovator.

Wallace Black Elk (1863-1950). Native American religious and spiritual leader.

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936). English writer, poet, and Nobel Laureate.

Mohandas Gandhi (1869-1948). Indian nationalist leader who established his country’s freedom through nonviolent revolution.

William Edmondson (1870-1951). African American artist and sculptor.

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Sri Aurobindo (1872-1950). Indian nationalist and mystic philosopher.

Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965). British Prime Minister during World War II.

Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926). Austro-German mystic poet and novelist.

Edgar Cayce (1877-1945). American psychic and healer.

Teilhard de Chardin (1881-1955). French Roman Catholic priest, theologian, geologist, paleontologist, and philosopher.

General George S. Patton (1885-1945). Celebrated American army officer.

Paramahansa Yogananda (1893-1952). Indian yogi who brought yoga to the West and founded the Self-Realization Fellowship.

William Griffith Wilson (Bill W) (1895-1971). Cofounder of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Krishnamurti (1895-1986). Influential Indian philosopher, teacher, and mystic.

John Fire Lame Deer (1903-1976). Native American holy man.

Peace Pilgrim (1908-1981). Peace activist who walked 25,000 miles across America for over 28 years.

Helen Schucman (1909-1981). Psychologist and scribe for the channeled material of A Course in Miracles.

Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968). American clergyman, Nobel Prize winner and principal leader of the American Civil Rights Movement.

Note. From Alschuler, 1987, 1993; Buckley, 1973; Hastings, 1990; Klimo, 1998; Liester, 1996; Yungblut, 1988.

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Appendix B: Researcher’s Self-Reflection Data

The following appendix includes self-reflection data gathered during the creation of

the researcher’s spiritual autobiography and the researcher’s lived-inquiry journal.

Researcher Spiritual Autobiography

The following excerpts and listing of thematic references are from the numbered

text version of the spiritual autobiography I created as part of my personal self-inquiry into

the nature of the experience of divine guidance as it has manifested in my own life.

References to this material in other sections of this presentation refer to the line numbers of

this text, which were also used for reference purposes during the analysis of this data.

Initial Topic Engagement

This first excerpt from my spiritual autobiography is the story of my initial

engagement with the topic of inquiry.

21 In the spring of 1996, I was struggling to figure out the topic 22 for my doctoral dissertation at the Institute of Transpersonal 23 Psychology in Palo Alto, California. I had hit a brick wall in my 24 mind and felt totally blocked. An old friend called and asked if 25 my wife Sarah and I could meet up with him in Big Sur over the 26 weekend. Needless to say I jumped at the chance to get out of the 27 city and take a break from my internal struggle. 28 The next day we drove down the coast. The environment of Big Sur 29 has always had a profound physical, emotional, and spiritual 30 effect on me, and this time was no different. As we entered the 31 Big Sur area, tears came to my eyes and I felt as though I was 32 returning to my sacred home. Suddenly, my mind opened up and I 33 felt as though my thoughts were being cleansed by the whispering 34 ocean air and the vast rippling blue sea. Mental boundaries 35 previously held gave way to expansiveness. My mind became clear 36 and my perception of my struggle to choose a dissertation topic 37 suddenly shifted. 38 I realized that I was trying to think of a dissertation topic and 39 approach that would fit into the traditional model. I had 40 lapsed into worrying about which topic would further my career, 41 meet the requirements, be the most impressive, etc. Now, it was 42 incredibly clear to me that I needed to find a dissertation topic

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43 that would be organic to my nature and process, and would 44 continue my own personal growth journey. 45 Once this realization set in, my dissertation topic became 46 crystal clear. My dissertation would become a deepening of the 47 path of personal inquiry I was already on, my exploration of the 48 experience of divine guidance. For the rest of the day I moved 49 and spoke in harmony with others and the Earth. Miracles 50 happened, great and small, moment by blessed moment. At the 51 end of the day, I stood on the rocky shore of the cliffs of 52 Esalen Institute, completely bathed in sweet and gentle joy. I 53 felt a deep sense of gratitude as a certainty of purpose invaded 54 my soul.

Formative Guidance Experience

This second excerpt from my spiritual autobiography is the story of one of my most

significant experiences of seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance. Following this

excerpt is a reference list for the lines of this story that correspond to the various themes

that were observed in the self-inquiry process and then used to develop the interview

research questions (see Appendix D). Since this story includes all of the themes found

throughout the spiritual autobiography, it is offered here as a representative of the larger

work.

105 I began my process of spiritual self-reflection by exploring a 106 significant episode on my journey into the experience of seeking, 107 receiving, and following divine guidance. It was the spring of 108 1985. I had just completed my graduate work at the American Film 109 Institute. I was their new “Golden Boy.” My graduate film, 110 Voice in Exile (Kaplan & Fienberg, 1985), was winning awards all 111 over the world, and I found myself in a whirlwind of meetings 112 with studio executives, agents, and producers. 113 During this time, a friend of mine who had become a famous 114 television star asked if I would house sit for him while he was 115 on location in London for 3 months. The house was a beautiful 116 wooded 25-room estate in the foothills with a screening 117 room, tennis court, swimming pool, gym, and rose garden. Within 118 a matter of weeks, I went from being a struggling film student to 119 a “hot property” with all the physical elements of fame and 120 fortune.

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121 One hot spring day I was sitting in a lounge chair by the pool of 122 the estate talking to my agent on the cordless phone. We were 123 discussing something we both knew was not true as though it was 124 real. As our conversation unfolded, I sipped on a margarita and 125 surveyed the lush landscape of the estate through my new hip 126 mirrored sunglasses. Surrounding me was a manicured rock grotto 127 with two swimming pools, a hot tub, and waterfall. A beautiful 128 young woman I had just met was swimming in the pool. She smiled 129 at me, blew me a kiss, and seductively moved her naked body 130 through the glistening water. 131 Suddenly, I felt totally empty. Everything felt like an illusion. 132 I looked around me, and nothing seemed real. It was as if my 133 life had become a Hollywood movie. My agent was telling me how 134 great I was, and a woman I hardly knew looked at me with the eyes 135 of an intimate lover. It seemed as though no one was really 136 seeing me. They were seeing my talent, my title, the car I was 137 driving, and the estate I was living in, but they were not seeing 138 me. Then I realized I did not even know who I was. 139 Several weeks later, I accepted an award in front of a large 140 audience. I looked out at the sea of unknown faces. The sound 141 of the applause danced around the emptiness I felt inside as I 142 asked myself “What does it all mean?” That summer I put 143 everything I owned in storage, bought a backpack, and boarded a 144 plane for London in search of the meaning of life and love. 145 On my first day in London, I met a 60-year-old British postal 146 worker in the Duke of Wellington Pub in Soho. He bought me a 147 bottle of barley wine and told me it had a very good original 148 gravity. I asked him what he meant by original gravity. He 149 explained that it was the British method of expressing the 150 strength of a beer. He winked and said I should always make sure 151 I am partaking of strong original gravity. As he spoke these 152 words he seemed to momentarily transform from an intoxicated 153 postal worker into a sparkling eyed mystic. In my mind, the 154 phrase original gravity blossomed into a metaphor for living life 155 to its fullest. 156 I spent the next 3 months backpacking through Europe. During 157 my journey I started to notice myself falling into two distinct 158 patterns of experience. One pattern seemed to consist of 159 periods in which everything flowed smoothly. Things would unfold 160 effortlessly and seemed to work out perfectly. I would meet 161 people who would point me in the right direction where I would in

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162 turn meet others. I would have the sense that I was in the right 163 place at the right time and that there was a grand intelligence 164 guiding me. All the elements of my life and the life of those I 165 met seemed to be in some kind of beautiful synchronized orbit 166 held together by some strange unseen force . . . and life felt rich 167 and full of “original gravity.” 168 Then, suddenly, I would find myself in another pattern of 169 experience. Everything seemed to go wrong, and I was out of the 170 flow. I sensed that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. 171 Places I wanted to see would be closed or inaccessible. People 172 seemed distant and cold. I felt isolated and alone. Every step 173 was an effort, and I felt out of synch with everyone and 174 everything. 175 Slowly I began to realize that there were certain thoughts and 176 perceptions that seemed to precipitate and support these two 177 different patterns of experience. A surrendering of my plans, 178 expectations, and past memories preceded the periods in which I 179 experienced a sense of flow and effortlessness. During these 180 periods of flow, I would tend to be totally in the present moment. 181 I seemed to naturally accept things and people as they were. The 182 periods in which I experienced everything being out of balance 183 seemed to coincide with planning, expectations, and/or following 184 a past idea, suggestion, or desire. A flood of past memories and 185 future concerns also marked these times. 186 The qualities of my flow experiences are very similar to those 187 described by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in his writings on flow 188 (1990, 1993, 1997). These qualities include the loss of self- 189 consciousness, a sense of being part of some greater entity, and 190 an altered sense of time (Csikszentmihalyi, 1993). This 191 experience of flow is “like being carried away by a current, 192 everything moving smoothly without effort” (Csikszentmihalyi, 193 1993, p. xiii). 194 At first, I tried to manipulate myself into having these flow 195 experiences, but that only seemed to send me farther into the 196 other experience. I began to see that each pattern of experience 197 was related to the other. My periods of flow seemed to come from 198 the surrender produced by the culmination of the frustration of 199 the “out of the flow” experiences. I finally surrendered to the 200 whole process. 201 I was riding on a train bound for the city of Rome. We stopped 202 at the train station in Rome, and my mind began to blur. My body

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203 felt heavy and warm. My stomach was churning with tension. I 204 felt a strange all encompassing force holding me in my seat. An 205 inner voice told me not to get off the train. This inner voice 206 felt like it was coming from both a deep part of my own being and 207 from beyond my self. I just sat there watching people get on and 208 off. Then the train slowly pulled out of the station, and headed 209 south out of the city to parts unknown. My head flooded with 210 painful memories and fearful thoughts of the future. 211 Suddenly, all my regrets and worries seemed so trivial, and my 212 mind fell into a deep emptiness. All my muscles went limp. I 213 felt as though I was floating through the beautiful Italian 214 countryside. Out the window were rows of beautiful tall trees 215 with white washed trunks. Their branches were covered with tiny 216 golden leaves that sparkled in the waning light. As the sun 217 softly set over the rolling hills of old farms and ancient ruins, 218 the past seemed to recede in the distance behind me. I thought 219 of trying to find out where the train was headed, but the voice 220 inside me said not to ask. It said to ride the train to its final 221 stop. Suddenly, I felt free . . . released from my past and 222 strangely at ease with the thought of heading to an unknown 223 destination. 224 I rode the train until the end of the line, the town of Salerno. 225 It was late at night as I walked out of the station onto the 226 quiet city street. I walked across the street to a hotel where I 227 could see a light on at the front desk. I knocked on the door. 228 The young man at the desk let me in and gave me a room. The next 229 morning I rode the bus down the Amalfi coast. I was enthralled by 230 the scattered stone ruins, the sleepy villages nestled into the 231 cliffs, and the beautiful clear blue ocean waters swirling into 232 emerald coves of powerful jutting rocks. Along the way the driver 233 would stop the bus and yell “hello” in Italian to some of the 234 farmers working on the hills beside the road. As I watched 235 people engaged in friendly conversations, I prayed to find some 236 wonderful people to spend some time with. 237 The next day I met Bill and Diane, a middle-aged couple from San 238 Diego. We started talking, and they invited me to come with them 239 to the island of Capri. We spent the next few days exploring the 240 island together, meeting fellow travelers, and having deep 241 conversations about life. One afternoon, while Bill and I were 242 talking about the trials and tribulations of romance we both 243 suddenly realized that my last girlfriend in the States happened 244 to be his estranged daughter. We both sat in awe of the 245 unfathomable coincidence of our meeting.

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246 Bill told me that he had not seen or heard from his daughter in 247 years, and had been yearning to know if she was all right. Tears 248 came to his eyes as I told him about his daughter, and his 249 yearning was fulfilled. As he spoke about his memories of his 250 daughter I received the gift of understanding more about her, and 251 gained greater insight into our relationship. That night I sat 252 alone looking up at the stars above Capri. I felt blessed by the 253 gifts I had received, and in awe of the great mystery of my 254 experiences. The rest of my journey was filled with miracles and 255 blessings. I felt guided at every step by a loving and 256 compassionate force beyond my comprehension. Though I had 257 explored spirituality and caught glimpses of this force prior to 258 my trip, none of my previous experiences compared with the 259 combined depth, magnitude, duration, and everyday integration of 260 my experiences in Europe. 261 When I returned from my trip overseas I was unable to retain my 262 deep and continual connection with this force, yet somehow I felt 263 as though I had awakened from a deep unknown sleep. Everything 264 seemed different; old familiar people, places, and experiences 265 had a different quality to them. It was as though my center of 266 gravity had shifted. 267 It is a disturbance of the equilibrium of the self, which results 268 in the shifting of the field of consciousness from lower to 269 higher levels, with a consequent removal of the centre of 270 interest from the subject to an object now brought into view: the 271 necessary beginning of any process of transcendence. (Underhill, 272 1961, p. 176) 273 Before my journey, my life was centered on career and finding 274 romantic love, with short excursions into the realm of 275 spirituality. After my experiences in Europe, the center of my 276 life seemed to shift toward becoming the best human being I could 277 become, and to find a way of reconnecting with the experience of 278 divine guidance. I began to explore, more deeply and earnestly, 279 the world’s spiritual and religious systems for knowledge and 280 practices that could aid in my journey. Ultimately, I was 281 lead to this process of research and self-reflection, to deepen 282 my quest to understand this strange and wondrous experience of 283 divine guidance.

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Self-Reflection Thematic References

The following is a listing of the themes observed in the self-inquiry process

involving the creation of the researcher spiritual autobiography and an immersion in the

literature. Each theme is followed by references to the text line numbers from the

researcher’s formative guidance experience story (see above) related to these themes. See

Appendix D for the thematic correlations between the present material and the literature,

and how these themes were developed into the interview research questions.

Contributing Factors: 108-112, 113-120, 121-130, 139-142, 142-144, 145-155.

Discernment: 175-177, 194-200, 273-278.

Effects/Fruits: 158-167, 175-177, 177-181, 194-200, 201-223, 241-254, 254-260, 261-266, 273-278.

Following: 175-177, 177-181, 194-200, 201-223, 224-241, 241-254, 254-260.

Form: 131-138, 145-155, 158-167, 177-181, 194-200, 201-223, 254-260.

Incorporation: 156-158, 175-177, 177-181, 194-200, 201-223, 224-241, 241-254, 254-260, 261-266, 273-278, 278-283.

Narrative Quality of Experience: 107-283.

Obstacles: 168-174, 177-181, 181-185, 194-200, 261-262.

Patterns and Themes: 145-155, 156-158, 158-167, 168-174, 175-177, 177-181, 181-185, 186-193, 194-200, 261-266, 273-278.

Qualities: 131-138, 158-167, 175-177, 177-181, 186-193, 194-200, 201-223, 254-260.

Receiving: 145-155, 158-167, 177-181, 194-200, 201-223, 241-254, 254-260.

Seeking: 142-144, 177-181, 194-200, 254-260, 278-283.

Surrender: 177-181, 194-200, 201-223.

Tools and Practices: 156-158, 177-181, 194-200, 278-283.

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Researcher’s Lived-Inquiry Journal

The following are several excerpts from the researcher’s lived-inquiry journal

related to a significant series of events that occurred during this research endeavor,

presented here as an example of the lived-inquiry process experienced by the researcher.

August 16, 2000: One of my dissertation committee members [Bob Schmitt], had to withdraw from my committee. I sought guidance on how to proceed and remembered something I heard Ram Dass say, “It is all God in drag.” The words washed over me and I sensed that I needed to surrender the outcome. Somehow, I was able to relax into the process and open myself to whatever was about to unfold.

September 1, 2000: My committee chair [Arthur Hastings], suggested we ask Ram Dass to fill the vacancy on my committee. I felt a tingle up and down my spine as I pondered the “coincidence” of my using Ram Dass’s saying to help me hold the process lightly and the outcome of asking him to be on the committee.

October 26, 2000: Ram Dass has agreed to be on my committee.

December 2000—December 2002: During this time, I had several “dream conferences” with Ram Dass. The first dream happened during a period in which I was feeling stressed about trying to do my dissertation work while also having to take care of a lot of everyday things. I dreamed I was in a strange house. There was a home office piled high with bills and papers, and there were several people talking to me at the same time trying to get me to do something. I looked out onto the patio and saw Ram Dass sitting at a patio table watching everything and smiling at me. Suddenly, I was outside of the house, sitting across from Ram Dass on the patio. He asked me how my dissertation was going. I could not speak. Ram Dass smiled warmly and continued to softly ask me the question over and over again. I looked back inside the house and saw myself being overwhelmed by the piles of paper and the people asking for my time. After this first dream, I woke up feeling relaxed and was able to step back from everything that was happening in my life and just witness all the forces vying for my time. Somehow, being in this witness state enabled me to handle all the little things and still do some good dissertation work. Several times over the next 2 years, I had similar dreams with Ram Dass; mostly these dreams consisted of Ram Dass and I sitting on the same patio with him asking me how I was doing and helping me to see my situation from a higher perspective. These dreams always seemed to come at times of stress, and they always seemed to help me step back from what was happening around and within me.

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January 18, 2003: During these last 2 years Sarah [my wife] and I lost our rental house in Northern California, had to put most of our personal belongings in storage, and spent a year and a half in Florida living with family and dealing with deeply challenging personal and interpersonal emotional issues . . . all while trying to work on my dissertation. We finally made it back to the San Francisco Bay Area after a harrowing drive across the country through rainstorms, tornados, sand storms, and blizzards. Exhausted and lost, no faith left, we started to look for a place to live. I went online and found a rental listing for a house in Clearlake, California that said Ram Dass had blessed it. I emailed them to find out more details.

January 21, 2003: I received an email from the owner of the Clearlake house, which included some photos of the house and grounds. One of the photos showed the back patio of the house; Ram Dass was seated on the patio and there were people singing and dancing around him. A chill went up my spine as I looked at the picture and realized that the patio of the house looked exactly like the location of my dream conferences with Ram Dass.

January 25, 2003: Sarah and I went up to look at the Clearlake house. The drive was long but beautiful, and it felt good to get out of the city. As we drove through the dilapidated and seemingly impoverished town of Clearlake, a strong negative energy overwhelmed us. When we finally made it up the hill to the property, we were enveloped by a peaceful energy that appeared to be emitting from the land. We met the owners of the house and they were wonderful. They showed us around and it was strange how the land, the pond, and the view were deeply moving, while the house itself and the rental situation felt all wrong to us. When we got to the patio, I was immediately overcome with a deep altered state. As I looked at the glass patio table, the four white patio chairs and the space around them I felt as though I had entered the realm of my dream conferences with Ram Dass. Everything was exactly as I had dreamed it, down to the minutest detail. I sat down in the chair that I had sat in during my dreams and could almost feel Ram Dass’s presence sitting across from me. After a long seemingly timeless moment, I struggled to discern what it all meant. Then I heard one of the owners of the house say something that was eerily close to something Ram Dass talked about in my dreams. She said that a place like this helps us to let go of thinking about all the little mundane things in life that clutter up our minds. In all of my dreams, Ram Dass told me, in a variety of ways, that it was my getting caught in all the everyday things in my life and my thoughts about those things that was blocking my work on my dissertation and that I had to find a way to let them go. We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out on the land with the owners, hearing stories about Ram Dass and other spiritual leaders who had visited the land. At the end, Sarah and I told the owners we needed to think about the house and that we would get back to them soon.

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January 29, 2003: I have been struggling about the Clearlake house for days, and have not been able to get clear guidance on it. The energy of the land and the resonance of the place to my dreams with Ram Dass seemed to be calling me, while the physical reality of the housing situation seemed totally wrong for us. I prayed for help in discerning what to do and I sensed I needed to go on with my day and wait and be open for an answer to come. I went to school to take care of some school business, and on my way out of the school office I ran into my committee chair whom I had not seen since we moved away over a year ago. It was great seeing him again and we sat down and talked for a while. I told him about the Clearlake house and the connection to my Ram Dass dreams. Together we discerned that the situation was not calling me to live there, but it was showing me in a felt-sense way, what kind of environment I needed to find to complete my work. I thought of the scene in Castaneda's first book in which Don Juan has Carlos find his spot on the porch. It takes him hours to sense the energy of each spot on the porch, until he found the spot that resonated with him. It suddenly seemed clear that the guidance was to find my spot . . . energetically.

March 15, 2003: The last month and a half we have been looking for a place to live that fit our physical needs while also being a place that energetically felt right. We cast our net wide, checking out rentals from Marin County all the way down to Monterey County. Everything that fit our physical needs seemed out of our price range and nothing felt right energetically. I kept feeling drawn to the Pacific Grove area of Monterey County because we both felt an affinity for the area. I also kept remembering how we had seen a TV show about the town on our first night back in California just a few hours after I was dreaming about living there . . . yet every time we looked at rentals in the area we could not find anything that fit our needs or felt right. Finally, we just gave up and started talking about looking for work first before finding a home. Within 24 hours I received an online listing notice for a house in Pacific Grove well within our price range that appeared to meet all of our physical needs, and even had some things that we only dreamed of having. That weekend we went to the open house. When we first drove up to the house we both thought that the price listed had to be a mistake because it appeared to be a very nicely kept house nestled on the edge of a small forest a half-mile from the ocean. The moment we walked through the front door we both gasped as the beauty and energy of the place washed over us . . . and we both knew that this was our “spot.”

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Appendix C: Researcher’s Self-Experimentation Methods

The following is a brief review of the 40 major self-experimentation methods

explored during this study (in alphabetical order), along with an indication of the phase(s)

of inquiry within which the methods were employed; the processes the methods were used

for; the type(s) of spiritual inquiry represented by the methods (Rothberg, 1994); the

number of years of researcher’s training and practice with the method prior to research

implementation; and the perceived effect of the usage of each method in the research

process and in the researcher’s personal life. See Chapter 3 for further details of the

implementation of these methods, and Chapter 4 and Table L29 for further details on the

results of the application of these methods.

Aikido Centering Practice (Robert Frager, Personal Training, 1993; Gleason, 1995;

Robert Nadeau, Personal Training, 1992). A spiritual physical/energy practice from the

Aikido tradition used during the self-inquiry, interview, and data treatment phases of

inquiry for researcher purification, and set and setting. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation

of visionary capabilities, systematic contemplation, and metaphysical deconstruction. Years

of prior training and practice: 10 years. Perceived effect: 10 out of 10.

Astrology (Expert Astrologer, 1995). A computer-based astrological divination

method from the Western astrology tradition used during the self-inquiry and data treatment

phases of inquiry for researcher guidance. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of

visionary capabilities and metaphysical thinking. Years of prior training and practice: 4

years. Perceived effect: 7 out of 10.

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Bibliomancy (Zeitlyn, 2001). A text-based form of divination used during the self-

inquiry, interview, and data treatment phases of inquiry for researcher guidance. Type of

spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities and metaphysical thinking. Years of

prior training and practice: 13 years. Perceived effect: 10 out of 10.

BioSpiritual Focusing (Ann McGlone, Personal Training, 1994; McMahon, 1993).

A spiritual and somatic psychology technique used during the self-inquiry, interview, and

data treatment phases of inquiry for researcher purification, guidance, and set and setting.

Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities, systematic contemplation,

and metaphysical deconstruction. Years of prior training and practice: 4 years. Perceived

effect: 10 out of 10.

Chinese Astrology (Ballantine, 2000). A computer-based astrological divination

method from the Chinese astrology tradition used during the data treatment phase of inquiry

for researcher guidance. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities and

metaphysical thinking. Years of prior training and practice: 1 year or less. Perceived effect:

8 out of 10.

Course in Miracles (Course in Miracles, 1996; Marianne Williamson, Personal

Training, 1985-1989). A channeled psycho-spiritual system of practice from the Christian

New Thought tradition used during the self-inquiry, interview, and data treatment phases of

inquiry for researcher purification, guidance, and set and setting. Type of spiritual inquiry:

Cultivation of visionary capabilities, metaphysical thinking, and metaphysical

deconstruction. Years of prior training and practice: 14 years. Perceived effect: 10 out of

10.

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Daily Word (Unity School of Christianity, 1994-2004). A Christian New Thought

daily guidance and inspiration journal used during the self-inquiry, interview, and data

treatment phases of inquiry for researcher guidance, and set and setting. Type of spiritual

inquiry: Systematic contemplation. Years of prior training and practice: 12 years. Perceived

effect: 10 out of 10.

Discernment of Spirits (Smith, 1983). A Christian guidance and discernment

practice based on the work of Saint Ignatius used during the self-inquiry phase of research

for researcher purification and guidance. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary

capabilities and systematic contemplation. Years of prior training and practice: 1 year or

less. Perceived effect: 9 out of 10.

Energy Tapping (Craig, 2004; Gallo, 2000). A meridian-based form of an energy

psychology self-healing practice used during the data treatment phase of inquiry for

researcher purification, and set and setting. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of

visionary capabilities and metaphysical deconstruction. Years of prior training and practice:

1 year or less. Perceived effect: 9 out of 10.

Feng Shui (Ballantine, 2000; Kwok, 1995; Rossbach, 1983). The practice of

Chinese geomancy, or spatial-based divination, used during the self-inquiry, interview, and

data treatment phases of inquiry for researcher purification, guidance, and set and setting.

Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities and metaphysical thinking.

Years of prior training and practice: 5 years. Perceived effect: 9 out of 10.

Gentle Wind Healing Instruments (The Gentle Wind Project, P.O. Box 29, Kittery,

ME, 03904). Mental and emotional healing and alignment graphic and physical-object

instruments used during the data treatment phase for researcher purification, and set and

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setting. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities and metaphysical

deconstruction. Years of prior training and practice: 1 year or less. Perceived effect: 9 out

of 10.

Gurdjieff Morning Exercise (Charles Tart, Personal Training, 1994; Tart, 1994). A

sensory meditation practice from the Gurdjieff tradition used during the self-inquiry,

interview, and data treatment phases of inquiry for researcher purification, and set and

setting. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities, systematic

contemplation, and metaphysical deconstruction. Years of prior training and practice: 3


I Ching (Ballantine, 2000; Wilhelm, 1950). A text-based and computer-based

Chinese oracular divination system used during the self-inquiry, interview, and data

treatment phases of inquiry for researcher guidance, and set and setting. Type of spiritual

inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities, systematic contemplation, and metaphysical

thinking. Years of prior training and practice: 9 years. Perceived effect: 10 out of 10.

Integral Transformative Practice (Leonard & Murphy, 1995). A set of daily

physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual exercises used during the data treatment phase of


of visionary capabilities, systematic contemplation, and metaphysical thinking. Years of

prior training and practice: 1 year or less. Perceived effect: 10 out of 10.

Judaic Daily Practice (Donin, 1980; Kaplan, 1998). Daily prayer and meditation

practices from the Judaic tradition used during the self-inquiry and interview phases of


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of visionary capabilities, systematic contemplation, and metaphysical thinking. Years of


Judaic Sabbath Practice (Kaplan, 1974). A weekly ritual and set of practices from

the Judaic tradition used during the self-inquiry, interview, and data treatment phases for


visionary experience and metaphysical deconstruction. Years of prior training and practice:

6 years. Perceived effect: 10 out of 10.

Kabbalah Cards (Hoffman, 2000). A card-based divination system from the Jewish

mystical system of Kabbalah used during the data treatment phase of inquiry for researcher

guidance. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities and metaphysical

thinking. Years of prior training and practice: 1 year or less. Perceived effect: 8 out of 10.

Labowitz Guidance Method (Labowitz, 1996). A text-based purification and

guidance practice from the Jewish mystical system of Kabbalah used during the self-inquiry

phase of research for researcher purification and guidance. Type of spiritual inquiry:

Cultivation of visionary capabilities and metaphysical thinking. Years of prior training and

practice: 1 year or less. Perceived effect: 9 out of 10.

Mindfulness Meditation (Levine, 1989; Nhat Hanh, 1975). A Buddhist meditation

practice used during the self-inquiry, interview, and data treatment phase of inquiry for


visionary capabilities, systematic contemplation, and metaphysical deconstruction. Years of


Muscle Testing (Hislop & Montgomery, 2002; Levy & Lehr, 1996). A Kinesiology

bio-energetic divinatory testing method used during the data treatment phase of inquiry for

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researcher guidance. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities. Years

of prior training and practice: 7 years. Perceived effect: 10 out of 10.

Myss Guidance Practices (Myss, 1996, 2001). A cross-traditional metaphysical

archetype-based purification and guidance method used during the data treatment phase of

inquiry for researcher purification and guidance. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of

visionary capabilities, systematic contemplation, and metaphysical thinking. Years of prior

training and practice: 1 year or less. Perceived effect: 9 out of 10.

Ophanim (Frankiel & Greenfield, 1997). A Judaic yoga practice used during the

self-inquiry, interview, and data treatment phases of inquiry for researcher purification, and

set and setting. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities, systematic



Pendulum (Lonegren, 1990). A pendulum-based divination technique used during

the self-inquiry and data treatment phases of inquiry for researcher guidance. Type of

spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities. Years of prior training and practice:

2 years. Perceived effect: 8 out of 10.

Practice of the Presence of God (Brother Lawrence, 1895/1978). A Christian

spiritual practice based on the work of Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection used during

the self-inquiry, interview, and data treatment phases of inquiry for researcher purification,

and set and setting. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities,

systematic contemplation, and metaphysical deconstruction. Years of prior training and

practice: 5 years. Perceived effect: 9 out of 10.

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Psychic Energy Practice (Wallace & Henkin, 1978). Esoteric psychic healing and

energy visualization exercises used during the data treatment phases of inquiry for


visionary capabilities, systematic contemplation, and metaphysical deconstruction. Years of

prior training and practice: 1 year or less. Perceived effect: 10 out of 10.

Qi Gong (Cohen, 1999; Ta Viet Hong, Personal Training, 1993). A Taoist

physical/energy practice used during the self-inquiry, interview, and data treatment phases

of inquiry for researcher purification, and set and setting. Type of spiritual inquiry:

Cultivation of visionary capabilities, systematic contemplation, and metaphysical

deconstruction. Years of prior training and practice: 4 years. Perceived effect: 10 out of 10.

Runes (Blum, 1993). A stone-based divination tool used during the self-inquiry

phase of research for researcher guidance. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of

visionary capabilities, and metaphysical thinking. Years of prior training and practice: 2


Sacred Clothing (Donin, 1980; Kaplan, 1984). A Judaic daily ritual of wearing

sacred clothing (skullcap and hidden prayer shawl) used during the self-inquiry and

interview phases of inquiry for researcher purification, and set and setting. Type of spiritual

inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities, and metaphysical deconstruction. Years of


Self-Hypnosis (Alman & Lambrou, 1992; Arthur Hastings, Personal Training,

1994). Self-hypnosis practices used during the self-inquiry and data treatment phases of

inquiry for researcher purification, guidance, and set and setting. Type of spiritual inquiry:

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Cultivation of visionary capabilities and metaphysical deconstruction. Years of prior

training and practice: 4 years. Perceived effect: 9 out of 10.

Shamanic Practices (Bear, Wind, & Mulligan, 1991; Harner, 1980). Various

Shamanic rituals and practices used during the self-inquiry, interview, and data treatment

phases of inquiry for researcher purification, guidance, and set and setting. Type of spiritual

inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities, and metaphysical thinking. Years of prior


Shumsky Guidance Method (Shumsky, 1996). A metaphysical/New Age guidance

practice used during the self-inquiry phase of research for researcher guidance. Type of



Sign of the Cross (Ball, 1991). A Christian prayer and movement based self-

sacrament practice used during the data treatment phase of inquiry for researcher

purification, and set and setting. Types of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary

capabilities and systematic contemplation. Years of prior training and practice: 1 year or


Spiritual Autobiography (Morgan, 1996; Wakefield, 1990). A spiritual self-inquiry

process from the narrative theology tradition used during the self-inquiry phase of research

for researcher purification. Type of spiritual inquiry: Systematic contemplation and

metaphysical thinking. Years of prior training and practice: 1 year or less. Perceived effect:

10 out of 10.

Spiritual Exegesis (Fishbane, 1998; Kepnes, 1992). A Judaic hermeneutic approach

utilizing the translation of text as a spiritual practice; used during the self-inquiry phase of

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research for researcher purification and guidance. Type of spiritual inquiry: Systematic

contemplation and metaphysical thinking. Years of prior training and practice: 1 year or


Sufi Salat (Barks & Green, 2000). A daily mind and body prayer ritual from the

Islamic mystical tradition of Sufism used during the data treatment phase of inquiry for

researcher purification, and set and setting. Types of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of

visionary capabilities and systematic contemplation. Years of prior training and practice: 1

year or less. Perceived effect: 9 out of 10.

T’ai Chi (Ta Viet Hong, Personal Training, 1993; Yanling, 1990). A Taoist

physical/energy practice used during the self-inquiry phase of research for researcher

purification, and set and setting. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary

capabilities, systematic contemplation, and metaphysical deconstruction. Years of prior


Tarot (Expert Tarot, 1996; Waite, 1959). A card-based and computer-based

divination tool used during the self-inquiry and data treatment phases of inquiry for

researcher guidance. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities, and

metaphysical thinking. Years of prior training and practice: 5 years. Perceived effect: 7 out

of 10.

Virtue Guidance Method (Virtue, 1998). A metaphysical/New Age guidance

practice used during the self-inquiry phase of research for researcher guidance. Type of



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Wiemer Guidance Method (Wiemer, 1997). A modern Judaic guidance method used

during the self-inquiry, interview, and data treatment phases of research for researcher

guidance. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities. Years of prior

training and practice: 1 year or less. Perceived effect: 9 out of 10.

Yoga (Borysenko, 1987; Baba Hari Dass, Personal Training, 1986-1989; Hari Dass,

1981). A Hindu system of mind and body purification practices used during the self-

inquiry, interview, and data treatment phases of research for researcher purification, and set

and setting. Type of spiritual inquiry: Cultivation of visionary capabilities, systematic



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Appendix D: Research Questions

The research questions used for the interviews were developed during the self-

inquiry phase of research. As previously discussed, this self-inquiry process included

researcher immersion in the literature related to the topic of inquiry; researcher self-

reflection on the topic through the creation of a spiritual autobiography; and researcher self-

experimentation with the topic through the testing of various guidance methods and

practices. During this process common themes and patterns from the review of the

literature, and from the researcher’s self-reflection and self-experimentation processes were

noted and collected by the researcher.

The common themes and patterns revealed in this self-inquiry phase included: A

narrative quality of experience; common patterns and core issues related to the experience,

including three possible stages or categories of the experience (seeking, receiving, and

following); contributing factors that brought on the experience; tools, practices, and

techniques used to create the experience; forms of the communication received in the

experience; qualities of the experience received; discernment of the experience received;

obstacles to seeking, receiving, and following the experience; incorporation of the


or fruits of the experience. These themes and patterns were then translated into the

questions and topics of discussion used as the general guidelines for the semistructured

interviews with the 9 coresearchers.

Research Question Themes

The following is a table displaying the common themes and patterns related to the

topic of inquiry that were noted during the review of the literature (see Chapter 2), and the

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researcher self-reflection (see Appendix B) and self-experimentation processes (see

Appendix C), and then translated into the research questions used for the interviews.

Table D1 Research Question Themes from the Literature and Researcher Self-Reflection Data Theme (Question No.) Literature Correlations Self-Reflection Data Correlations

Narrative Quality (1) Crites, 1971; Dunne, 1967; Goldberg, 1981; Stroup, 1981

107-283

Tripartite Nature (1) Campbell, 1949; Cordner, 1981; Crites, 1971; Hymer, 1990; Ricoeur, 1991

(Seeking) 142-144, 177-181, 194-200, 254-260, 278-283; (Receiving) 145-155, 158-167, 177-181, 194-200, 201-223, 241-254, 254-260; (Following) 175-177, 177-181, 194-200, 201-223, 224-241, 241-254, 254-260

Patterns & Themes (2) Cordner, 1981; Kelly, 1998; Mann, 1975; Underhill, 1961

145-155, 156-158, 158-167, 168-174, 175-177, 177-181, 181-185, 186-193, 194-200, 261-266, 273-278

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Table D1 (Continued) Theme (Question No.) Literature Correlations Self-Reflection Data Correlations

Contributing Factors (3) Assagioli, 1973; Bogart, 1992, 1994; Eliade, 1957; James, 1961; Sobosan, 1985

108-112, 113-120, 121-130, 139-142, 142-144, 145-155

Tools & Practices (4) Bogart, 1997; Caprio & Hedberg, 1986; Kwon, 2001; Liebert, 1989; Loewe & Blacker, 1981; Muthengi, 1993; Parks, 2002; Smith, 1983; Storm & Thalbourne, 2001a, 2001b; Walsh, 1999; Wilkinson, 1997

156-158, 177-181, 194-200, 278-283

Forms & Qualities (5) Alschuler, 1987, 1993; Escoffon, 1994; Hart, 1998; Hastings, 1991; Heery, 1989; Hymer, 1990; Klimo, 1998; Peat, 1987; Sowerby, 2001; Underhill, 1961; Vaughan, 1979

(Form) 131-138, 145-155, 158-167, 177-181, 194-200, 201-223, 254-260 (Qualities) 131-138, 158-167, 175-177, 177-181, 186-193, 194-200, 201-223, 254-260

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Discernment (6) Alschuler, 1987; Julian, 1987; Lukoff, Lu & Turner, 1998; Reichenbach, 1997; Sabini, 1987; Setzer, 1978; Stifler, Greer, Sneck & Dovenmuehle, 1993

175-177, 194-200, 273-278

Obstacles (7) Smith, 1983; Smith, 1991; Underhill, 1961; Walsh, 1999

168-174, 177-181, 181-185, 194-200, 261-262

Incorporation (8) Baugh, 1998; Boersma, 1989; Ellison & Levin, 1998; Matthews et al., 1998; Pollner, 1989; Spring, 2002

156-158, 175-177, 177-181, 194-200, 201-223, 224-241, 241-254, 254-260, 261-266, 273-278, 278-283

Surrender (8) Baugh, 1988; Cordner, 1981; May, 1982

177-181, 194-200, 201-223

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Effects/Fruits (9) Baugh, 1988; Boersma, 1989; Ellison & Levin, 1998; Matthews et al., 1998; Pollner, 1989; Spring, 2002

158-167, 175-177, 177-181, 194-200, 201-223, 241-254, 254-260, 261-266, 273-278

Note. Theme = General theme generated during the researcher self-inquiry phase and used to develop the interview questions (see below). Literature Correlations = Citations from some of the literature correlated to the theme. Self-Reflection Data Correlations = Line numbers from the researcher’s spiritual autobiography excerpt in Appendix B correlated to the theme (see Appendix B).

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Interview Questions Script

The following are the scripted questions used as a general guide for the

semistructured interview sessions with the coresearchers. These questions were developed

from the preceding themes and patterns that were noted during the researcher self-inquiry

phase.

1. Would you please recount a couple of personal life experiences where you sought,

received, and/or followed divine guidance? Please explore the three aspects of divine guidance—seeking, receiving, and following—in the stories you tell, overall . . . if these categories feel applicable to your experience. (Narrative Quality and Tripartite Nature)

2. Do you see any common patterns and/or core issues arising from these and other

guidance experiences that you have had in your life? How do these issues and/or patterns relate to the doctrines, guidelines, and precepts of your tradition(s)? (Patterns and Themes)

3. What experiences, forces, and so forth do you believe contributed to your seeking

divine guidance in your life? (Contributing Factors)

4. What tools, practices, and techniques do you use now and/or have you used in the past to seek divine guidance? (Tools and Practices)

5. How do you experience the guidance you receive? What form(s) does it seem to come

in? (Forms and Qualities)

6. How do you determine the source and validity of this guidance? (Discernment)

7. What are the obstacles, interferences, or blocks that distort or get in the way of receiving guidance for you? What are the obstacles to following guidance? (Obstacles)

8. How do you incorporate this guidance into your everyday life? Do you surrender

situations to the Divine, and if so, how and to what degree? (Incorporation and Surrender)

9. How has following guidance affected your life? (Effects/Fruits)

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Appendix E: Coresearcher Profiles

The following are brief profiles of each coresearcher who participated in this

inquiry. Additional demographic information can be found in Chapter 3.

Coresearcher 001 Profile

Coresearcher 001 is an author, educator, and psychologist who specializes in

Psychosynthesis, a psycho-spiritual therapeutic approach for personal and transpersonal

development, which includes the experience of calling and the reception of guidance

from “the inflowing superconscious energies” (Assagioli, 1976, p. 53) of the spiritual or

transpersonal dimensions of human experience. He received his Psychosynthesis training

in America and in Italy, where he personally studied with the founder of

Psychosynthesis, Roberto Assagioli. Coresearcher 001 has been practicing

Psychosynthesis for over 30 years, both personally and professionally. He has published

many books on Psychosynthesis and is considered a leader in his field. His religious

upbringing was Protestant, then Quakerism, and his present spiritual practice is a

combination of Catholicism and Psychosynthesis.


Coresearcher 002 is a Sufi teacher, or sheikh, in the Halveti-Jerrahi Order. In

addition to his Sufi background, he has studied with Zen Buddhist teachers, Swamis, and

Jewish and Christian mystics. He was a personal student of the founder of the spiritual

martial art of Aikido, has taught Aikido for over 35 years, and holds the rank of 7th degree

black belt. He also holds a doctorate in Social Psychology from Harvard University and has

taught Psychology at Harvard, and the University of California at Berkeley and Santa Cruz.

In 1975, he cofounded one of the first schools of transpersonal psychology, where he is

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currently professor of psychology and director of the spiritual guidance program. He is also

a past president of the Association for Transpersonal Psychology, and author of numerous

books on psychology and Sufism. His religion of origin was Judaism, and he converted to

Islam and became a Sufi Sheikh after exploring many other traditions. His current spiritual

practice includes Islamic, Sufi, and Aikido studies and practices.


Coresearcher 003 is a Lakota Medicine Woman, a Certified Shamanic Counselor,

and a faculty member for Michael Harner’s Foundation for Shamanic Studies. She leads

workshops in the United States, Europe, and Israel, integrating Shamanism, Native

American teachings, and the mystic traditions. She is also cofounder and council member

of a nonprofit organization dedicated to creating and sustaining global shamanic

community. She is Lakota Sioux by birth, and has been studying and practicing

shamanism for her entire life.


Coresearcher 004 is a Jewish Kabbalist, congregational Rabbi, spiritual counselor,

and educator. He has published several books on Kabbalah and Judaism, and was

ordained by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi. His religion of origin was Judaism, and

he has studied and practiced different forms of Judaism all of his life.


Coresearcher 005 is a Catholic nun with the Sisters of Mercy, and holds a

Doctorate in Theology. She is a spiritual director at Mercy Center in Burlingame,

California, where she also trains others to become spiritual directors. She is one of the

founders of Spiritual Directors International and is considered to be one of the leaders in

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the field of Christian spiritual direction. Her religion of origin was Catholicism, which

she has practiced for her entire life.


Coresearcher 006 is an ordained Catholic priest. Born in Ireland, he was awarded

a B.Sc. degree (major in Mathematics) from the National University of Ireland. He spent

14 years in East Africa working in education, agriculture, preventive medicine, famine

relief, architecture, and with physically disabled children. He is multilingual, and has an

M.A. and a Ph. D. in transpersonal psychology. He is a cofounder and the Spiritual

Director of a group of San Francisco area Catholics, who are attempting to find “a new way

of being truly catholic.” He is also a licensed clinical psychologist with a private counseling

practice in Los Altos. He lectures and conducts scientific research on the effects of prayer,

and is a published author. His religion of origin was Catholicism, which he has practiced

for his entire life. He has also studied many other traditions, and was influenced by the

Celtic tradition of his ancestors and the African traditions he experienced while he was a

missionary in Africa.


Coresearcher 007 is an internationally renowned psychiatrist, spiritual author, and

lecturer. He was one of the first student/teachers of the channeled guidance-oriented

spiritual thought system of A Course in Miracles (1996) in the 1970s. His writings, based

on the Course’s thought system, have been published extensively and he has several

international best-sellers to his credit. He is a graduate of Stanford Medical School and a

former faculty member of the University of California School of Medicine at San

Francisco, where he has held fellowships in child psychiatry at Langley Porter

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Neuropsychiatric Institute. He is the founder of an internationally acclaimed organization

with approximately 150 independent centers and groups in over 30 countries, offering

free support services for people dealing with chronic or life-threatening illness. He also

founded several other international support organizations including one for children who

suffer from AIDS. His religion of origin was Judaism, which he left behind at an early

age. After several years without a practice he discovered A Course in Miracles and has

been practicing it ever since.


Coresearcher 008 is a Self-Realization minister, teacher, and counselor, and a

member of Ananda, a religious order in the lineage of the Hindu Yogi Paramahansa

Yogananda. Yogananda taught a form of yoga, called Kriya Yoga, which blends the

Hindu tradition with Christianity, as well as embracing all sacred traditions. Coresearcher

008 received her training from Swami Kriyananda, a direct disciple of Yogananda, who

left the Self-Realization Fellowship after Yogananda’s death to start Ananda. She is

codirector of one of the Ananda communities in Northern California, and lectures on

spiritual guidance. Her religion of origin was Judaism, which she left behind at an early

age. She discovered the path of Self-Realization in her 20s and has been practicing it ever

since.


Coresearcher 009 is a congregational Rabbi and spiritual teacher. She was ordained

by Rabbi Jonathan Omer-Man and is presently the spiritual leader of a Jewish community

center and synagogue in Southern California. She has served as the assistant director of a

center for Jewish wisdom with Rabbi Omer-Man, and cofounded a learning community

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dedicated to creative Jewish spirituality, where she teaches classes in Jewish spirituality.

She is frequently called upon to speak throughout the Southern California area on issues

concerning women and spirituality. She also holds advanced degrees in history and

education from Columbia University. Her religion of origin was Judaism, and she has

studied and practiced different forms of Judaism all of her life.

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Appendix F: Coresearcher Letter of Invitation

Dear _____________, I am an advanced graduate student at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology in Palo Alto, California, doing a dissertation research project on the experience of seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance. As part of my research, I will be interviewing eight spiritual leaders and teachers to learn how they access divine guidance and what its role is in their lives. For many years, I have attempted to surrender to the Divine in my own life. I am also endeavoring to let this guidance direct this research process as well. This is challenging and fascinating, and of course causes all sorts of issues to rise in my life. I would like to interview you as part of this panel because your work and presence of being have been influential in my own spiritual development. I would come to wherever would be convenient for you, and the actual interview would be approximately 1 hour. I will be videotaping our interview because I am a skilled filmmaker and am exploring how to use divine guidance methods in making films. Following our session together, I will synthesize the interview material using guided editing techniques to gain a deeper understanding of the experience of divine guidance. I believe your participation in this research would be very worthwhile because I think you would be articulate about this kind of spiritual practice, and have a good sense of the dynamics and challenges of the journey. At the end of the research process, you will receive a copy of the videotape. Please let me know if you will participate in this study by filling out the enclosed reply form and mailing it to the address on the form, or by contacting me directly by phone at 650-299-9064 or email at [email protected]. I am also enclosing a consent form for your review. It contains a more detailed description of the process. You may fill out, sign, and return this form along with the reply form, if you are planning on participating. If possible, please respond within approximately 1 week after receiving this letter. Thank you for your consideration and for the blessings I have already received from you on my journey of the spirit. In Peace, Mark Allan Kaplan

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Appendix G: Coresearcher Reply Form

Institute of Transpersonal Psychology—Palo Alto, California

Doctoral Research Project by Mark Allan Kaplan Name: _________________________________________________________________ Address: _______________________________________________________________ Phone: ________________ Email: ___________________Fax: ___________________

Yes, I will participate in your research study on the experience of seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance. Please tell me your availability to be interviewed, including your preferences for times and location (I will call or write to make specific arrangements): ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

No, I will not be able to participate in your research study on the experience of seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance.

Please return this form to:

Mark Allan Kaplan 525 San Benito Avenue Menlo Park, CA 94025

If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to contact me at:

650-299-9064 or [email protected]

If you have agreed to participate in this study, I will call or write you to discuss further arrangements.

Thank you for your kind consideration.

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Appendix H: Coresearcher Consent Form

You are invited to participate in a study to explore the experience of seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance. The central topic of this inquiry is the human endeavor to seek a connection to a higher and/or deeper Source and follow and be in harmony with its essence. This Source can be in the form of God, the Higher Self, the Holy Spirit, the Higher Power, the intuitive Self, the deeper Self, the True Self, the True Mind, the Tao, and so forth. Through your participation as a coresearcher, I will ask you to explore the phenomenon as it reveals itself in your experience and as it relates to your acquired knowledge. The procedure will involve a 1-hour dialogue session between the two of us. I will need a half-hour to set up before the interview, as well as a half-hour after the interview for wrap up. During our dialogue session, you will be invited to recount personal life experiences related to the topic of inquiry. I will also ask you several questions regarding your knowledge and experience of the process of seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance. Our conversation together will take place at a quiet and secluded location of your choosing in the San Francisco Bay Area and will be recorded on videotape. I will use the videotape for reflection, analysis, and synthesis of our experience together, and an edited version will be included in the final research presentation, subject to your approval. You will be able to review the edited material from our dialogue to verify content and to aid in interpretation. In addition, I may ask you a few general follow up questions. A copy of the videotape will also be sent to you as a gift of our experience. If you prefer that your identity be kept private, all information received from you would be kept confidential as to source. Your identity will be protected by the use of information coding and fictitious names, and the videotape portion of our dialogue would be excluded from the final presentation. All references to your identity will be kept in a secure location, accessible only to me, the researcher. In the reporting of information in published material, any information that might identify you will be altered to ensure your anonymity. It is expected that participation in this study will give you the benefits of the experience of personal self-reflection. Additionally, it is my hope that our dialogue together will afford both of us the opportunity to receive the gifts that come from the sharing of experiences and ideas as travelers on the path. These gifts would include the knowledge and perspective that one can gain from searching for the Divine within one’s own life history. This study is designed to minimize potential risks. During the dialogue session and in your written responses you will be free to include or exclude any experiences and issues you deem appropriate. If at any time you have any concerns or questions, I will make every effort to discuss them with you and inform you of options for resolving your concerns. If you decide to participate in this research, you may withdraw your consent and discontinue your participation at any time during its conduct and for any reason without prejudice. You may request a summary of the research findings by checking the box below.

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If you have any questions or concerns, you may call me at 650-299-9064, or my Dissertation Chairperson Arthur Hastings, Ph.D., or Robert Schmitt, Ph.D., the head of the Ethics Committee for Research of the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, at 650-493-4430. The Institute of Transpersonal Psychology assumes no responsibility for any psychological or physical injury (or transcendent experiences) resulting from this research. I hereby attest that I have read and understood this form and had any questions about this research answered to my satisfaction. My participation in this research is entirely voluntary. My signature indicates my willingness to be a participant in this research. Coresearcher’s signature Date Researcher’s signature Date

I prefer that my identity be kept confidential.

I would like a summary of the research findings.

Please return this form to:

Mark Allan Kaplan 525 San Benito Avenue Menlo Park, CA 94025

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Appendix I: Interview Guidance Procedures

Interview Guidance Protocol Script

The following is the interview guidance protocol script (IGPS) used as a guideline

for the interview process. Guidance meditations are referenced by a capital letter here and

presented in full in the following section of this appendix.

1. Prepare and test recording equipment.

2. Review notes and questions.

3. Perform pre-interview GUIDANCE MEDITATIONS A-B-C.

4. Enter coresearcher’s presence and interview location with reverence.

5. Make direct verbal and eye contact with coresearcher.

6. Set up interview location (recording equipment, seating arrangement, etc.).

7. Ask if coresearcher has any additional questions and/or concerns before we begin.

8. Test the recording equipment and start recording.

9. Open with JOINT OPENING MEDITATION F (in silence, internally repeat GUIDANCE MEDITATIONS A-B-C-H).

10. Begin the interview session.

11. Discern the end of the interview session using an awareness of duration, internal GUIDANCE MEDITATIONS (A-B-C-D-H-I), and a sense of a natural ending.

12. End with JOINT CONCLUDING MEDITATION G (in silence, internally repeat GUIDANCE MEDITATION E).

13. Express gratitude for their contribution.

14. Explain the follow-up procedures again.

15. Invoke internal GUIDANCE MEDITATION E after contact.

16. Make journal and observation notes.

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Interview Guidance Meditations

The following guidance meditations were utilized during the interview phase of this

inquiry. Their letter designations correspond to their specific usage within the framework of

the preceding interview guidance protocol script. All meditations were internally invoked,

except for those labeled as joint meditative processes, and were followed by deep internal

listening. Nonreferenced meditations were created by the researcher.

Guidance Meditation A:

This holy instant would I give to You. Be You in charge. For I would follow You, Certain that Your direction gives me peace. And if I need a word to help me, You will give it to me. If I need a thought, that will You also give. And if I need but stillness and a tranquil, open mind, these are the gifts I will receive of You. You are in charge by my request. And I know You will hear and answer me, because You are the Source of Life Itself. (Adapted from A Course in Miracles, 1996, Workbook, p. 486)

Guidance Meditation B:

I surrender all outcomes to You. May this holy encounter bring blessings and peace to all those involved, directly or indirectly, known and unknown.

Guidance Meditation C:

I desire this holy instant for myself, that I may share it with _________, whom I love. It is not possible that I can have it without him/her or he/she without me. Yet it is wholly possible for us to share it now. And so I choose this instant as the one to offer to the Divine Source of Life, that blessing may descend on us, and keep us both in peace. (Adapted from A Course in Miracles, 1996, Text, p. 384)

Guidance Meditation D:

You leadeth me and know the way, which I know not. Yet You will never keep from me what You would have me learn. And so I trust You to communicate to me all that You know for me. (Adapted from A Course in Miracles, 1996, Text, p. 278)

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Guidance Meditation E:

Thank you for the blessing of this encounter. May all that came from love be strengthened, and all that came from fear be absolved.

Joint Opening Meditation F:

I would like to take a few moments in quiet meditation before we begin. If there is any blessing or meditation you would like to share, please feel free to express it now or anytime during our interviews. (In silence, internally repeat GUIDANCE MEDITATIONS A-B-C-H)

Joint Concluding Meditation G:

I would like to take a moment for silent reflection. Please feel free to share any blessings, prayers, or meditations that you feel would be appropriate. (In silence, internally repeat GUIDANCE MEDITATION E)

Guidance Meditation H:

I am not alone, and I would not intrude the past upon my holy guest. I have invited You, and You are here. I need do nothing except not to interfere. (Adapted from A Course in Miracles, 1996, Text, p. 331)

Guidance Meditation I:

I who am host to You, O Divine Presence, am worthy of You. You Who established Your dwelling place in me created it as You would have it be. It is not needful that I make it ready for You, but only that I do not interfere with Your plan to restore to me my own awareness of my readiness, which is eternal. I need add nothing to Your plan. But to receive it, I must be willing not to substitute my own in place of it. (Adapted from A Course in Miracles, 1996, Text, pp. 381-382)

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Appendix J: Interview Transcripts

The following are numbered text versions of the complete transcripts for the

Coresearcher interviews conducted during this study. Interviews were recorded on both

video and audiotape, then transcribed, edited, and numbered for data analysis.

Coresearcher 001 Interview Transcript (CR:001)

1 001: A brief meditation. . . . Let’s just close our eyes, feel our 2 body and our feelings and our thoughts, and imagine that we are 3 with a very wise and loving person or symbol. Just take a minute 4 to allow anything that wants to take place to take place between 5 us . . . and may we be open to guidance. When you feel ready you 6 can open your eyes. 7 Mark: Thank you. 8 001: You’re welcome. 9 Mark: What is this thing that I’m calling the divine mean for 10 you? 11 001: What is this thing that calls me? Bottom line, I don’t know; 12 start with that. My belief is that it is the ground of being, 13 that it is a spirit or spirit that holds creation. It’s not 14 identical with creation. If it were identical with creation, to 15 relate to it, to be intimate with it, to me would involve 16 merging, would involve being lost in the collective. So for me 17 it’s distinct from mass, energy, space, time . . . yet fully present 18 in mass, energy, space, time. So this universal spirit to me is 19 something that’s very, very immediate, more immediate than I am. 20 It’s not far away, it’s more here than I’m here right now. It’s 21 sort of like I’m trying to show up, I’m trying to get here to 22 hear that. I suppose another universality of that spirit is 23 that it knows who I am. To me this Divine is someone, some being, 24 who knows me and loves me. It’s not a sort of blind cosmic force; 25 it’s not merely a life force; it’s not simply a force of 26 evolution. It is someone who can address me and guide me, whom I 27 can trust and don’t need to be standoffish with or fearful of, 28 because there’s an empathic connection. I feel that whoever this 29 Divine is knows me better than I know myself. I think ideas about 30 the Divine, the ones that I use, the ones that are meaningful to 31 me, are ones that help me continually open to my relationship 32 with the Divine. So I don’t have a concept of the Divine as 33 someone who’s going to make me suffer for my own good, or punish 34 me, or in anyway be deceitful or deceiving of me. Where’s 35 that coming from? That’s just faith. But that’s one of the ways I 36 think about the concepts of the Divine. Do they help me come into

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37 relationship, or do they make me withdraw and stay away? So if 38 it’s a blind collective force it’s something that I’m going to 39 maintain my distance from; I’m going to tune in maybe at 40 different times, but I’m not going to expect friendship . . . I’m 41 not going to expect an intimate relationship. Theory is 42 important; conceptual understandings of that are important, 43 because if I do have the concept of “God is evil,” or “God 44 creates all events,” and “God causes death and destruction,” 45 that’s going to keep me away. So it’s somebody I trust, whoever 46 it is . . . to listen, to call. 47 Mark: I’d like to ask you to talk about some of your own 48 personal experiences with the process of seeking, receiving, and 49 following the guidance. I say seeking, receiving, and following 50 because for me I notice that I seek, I receive, and I follow. 51 001: Okay, those are meaningful for me . . . although I would say 52 that in my first most dramatic call I wasn’t seeking, at least I 53 wasn’t seeking consciously . . . 54 Mark: Or was it seeking you? 55 001: Yes, it was seeking me. In 1967 my brother died of an 56 overdose of heroin in Bellevue Hospital in New York City. He was 57 two years younger than I, and I was 22. We had just started 58 getting connected after having the big brother, little brother 59 thing. We were starting to like each other as people. Then he 60 died and I went into a very long depression and dark time for 61 about a year. I carried on, went to school, and was an 62 undergraduate. I made it through that year and was sort of 63 feeling better; there was more sunlight in my life. At that time 64 I was not spiritual, I was not religious. I thought about the 65 “One” and things like that, and had experimented a lot in 66 psychedelics. This was the 60s and I thought of myself as an 67 explorer of the mind, and I was interested in taking as many 68 different kinds of psychedelics as I could. That was part of the 69 culture of my subculture and also a larger culture. But I didn’t 70 have any real faith. There was nothing that was holding, for 71 instance, this experience of losing my brother. So what happened 72 was I was with some friends that I’d been an undergraduate with. 73 This was after I graduated, around October 1968. We started 74 getting very intimate, talking about thinking, and our insides, 75 and what it was like to experience . . . one of those great 76 conversations. This one woman turned to me and said “Do you 77 mean you’ve never explored your mind on psychedelics?” I forget 78 what I had said just before that, but I’ll always remember that 79 question because that question made me very, very afraid in that 80 moment. I realized the truth was to say no. Even though that 81 was what our culture had been doing . . . reading Timothy Leery, Ram 82 Dass, The Tibetan Book of The Dead (Karma-glin-pa, 1994), losing

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83 our ego, and exploring all this . . . the truth, in that moment, was 84 “no.” In that moment I said “no,” unequivocally against this huge 85 fear. I’ve thought about it a lot since then. Was I going to be 86 truthful in this and maybe be rejected by all these friends and 87 maybe be seen as some sort of strange, pretending deviant within 88 the group? When I said that word, suddenly a huge weight that I 89 didn’t realize was on me lifted. I felt light. I felt like I saw 90 there was nothing to fear in the universe. I saw that we are all 91 developing towards this, and that our fears didn’t have to be 92 there. I went off for the next month or so thinking in these 93 terms. Reevaluating who I was, wondering what this meant for my 94 life, wondering why no one had ever told me about this, and 95 wondering what religion was. So it was an awakening and now 96 there’s a seeking. Now I was seeking . . . what was that, where did 97 it come from, what does it mean, and how do I express it? There 98 was a wanting to talk about it, to express the wonder and the 99 beauty that there’s basically nothing to fear, that life is a lot 100 more wonderful than I’d ever been told, and how best to 101 communicate that. Well, religion was a good way to do it. I 102 thought about finding a school where I could major in Zen 103 Buddhism and minor in Roman Catholicism. I learned you have to go 104 into each religion. I got to the point where what I wanted to do 105 was to describe and express this reality in a scientific paradigm 106 because, as I looked around, the culture was primarily 107 scientific. Within the sciences it seemed like psychology was 108 where to go, so I began exploring, looking for a spiritual 109 psychology. I discovered Maslow and Toward the Psychology of 110 Being (1968). That was a big one for me. I read a lot of Jung at 111 that point, and buried myself in his collective works. I dropped 112 out of the masters in teaching program that I was in and started 113 taking undergraduate psychology courses. There was a real sort of 114 fearlessness in me, and an interest in this direction that I 115 started following, and I’ve been doing that ever since. It is an 116 unbroken direction in my life. There have been many ups and 117 downs, and backs and forths. I wasn’t seeking. The call was not 118 the experience; the call was like “oh my God, there’s something 119 much bigger!” 120 Mark: Could you talk more about that moment? 121 001: It’s hard to describe it. There was a physical experience 122 of lightness; of a weight being lifted off of me that I didn’t 123 even know was there. A lot of insights . . . it was as if all my 124 neurons, all my synapses, were clicking. It was like having the 125 answer to a problem, discovering the answer to a problem, and 126 having an ah-ha, an ah-ha about existence. I was very excited, 127 and maybe a little manicky too. There was a lower unconscious and 128 higher unconscious movement.

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129 Mark: Was there a sense that it came from some higher place? 130 001: Not necessarily in a personal way; it was as if I had 131 stumbled onto a reality. There was a sense of the universe being 132 benign and loving, and inviting us towards wonderful things. So 133 there was a huge optimism but there wasn’t a sense of a personal 134 connection with that ground. It was more like I stumbled in here, 135 and “oh my goodness, what does this mean, how do I express 136 this . . . I’m excited about expressing this reality.” 137 Mark: Did you ever have a connection with that ground? 138 001: Yes, that came later, probably about 10 years later. I was 139 following this, following a psychology that believed in a deeper 140 spirit in each of us that does guide us. So there was a sense of 141 direction, a sense of call but it was more like there was this 142 vision that I really wanted to manifest. It was a vision of what 143 could be that was drawing me along, which in retrospect, is 144 different from the more personal immediate call. Yes, it was a 145 call. There was an invitation, but I was more caught up in the 146 vision. It was almost idolatry in a way. It was almost “this 147 vision is what it is” versus “where’s God in this.” I just 148 assumed because the vision was so great that that was what I was 149 supposed to be doing, and that crumbled. What myself and others 150 were trying to do, in building towards that vision, crumbled 151 because I think it was idolatry. See, the vision takes up space. 152 In fact there was a period when it was so important that that’s 153 all I did and all I thought about. Interpersonal relationships 154 weren’t important, and in fact they were a distraction. I felt 155 personal time was somehow letting the vision down because “how 156 could I be spending time over here indulging myself,” rather than 157 doing this vision which was so important, and that crumbled. 158 As that was happening, during and afterwards, I was also inwardly 159 crumbling. I was going into a depression, a dark night. It had 160 been hard for me to keep teaching. Even before it was crumbling, 161 I was mysteriously crumbling inside. Although now I see that it 162 was part of the whole crumbling. It was a discreet experience. 163 During that time I was reading a lot of monastic and spiritual 164 literature. I was reading Teilhard de Chardin; I was reading 165 about the Western mystics; I was reading Thomas Merton; and I was 166 reading Zen and Taoism. Up to that time I wasn’t really looking 167 at a lot of the manifestations of people who followed spirit and 168 what their lives were like. Now I was reading about the lives of 169 different saints and things like that. So I was tuning into that. 170 I was going to different churches during this time. This was a 171 time of darkness. This was a time when I was not teaching. It was 172 a time when the group I was working with said, “Go and just do 173 this because you’re not functioning here.” It was a blessing in a 174 way that I was given this time. So I was lying on my bed one day

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175 and I just felt this awful, awful, awful disintegration in me, 176 like I was falling. I remember having the thought that they’ll 177 find me dead the next morning, or whenever they would finally 178 come and look for me. I was living in this little room in San 179 Francisco by myself. It was a fall, the kind of fall that just 180 grips your stomach, like the elevator has been cut. It was that 181 kind of fall, only it was into an abyss. It seemed bottomless, 182 like falling out of the universe, like there was a crack in the 183 universe, into oblivion, and I was falling out of it. I was a 184 fetus, a fetus that realizes there’s no place for him as a fetus. 185 There was just despair, and this incredible experience of 186 plummeting through black space. In the extremity of that 187 plummeting, there was this very interesting experience in which 188 the plummeting itself, this experience of movement through space, 189 changed so that that very experience was holding me. It was very 190 strange because it was almost like a polarized lens works or 191 something. There was a shift in perspective so that I realized 192 the falling was actually a holding. It wasn’t like “oh, I’ve 193 fallen through and I’ve hit something or have been caught,” it 194 was that the very falling itself was a holding. Something changed 195 in me at that moment, and at that point, I was somehow aware of 196 being held by someone. To me it looked like a woman who looked 197 like Jesus, and to me that was tremendously personal. This was 198 not the vision; this was not the drive of evolution. This was 199 somebody who was holding me and loving me and caring about me. 200 Nothing’s been the same since then. I began relating to this 201 person named Jesus. I continued in my wanderings, but basically 202 now I am seeking this one, whoever it is. I guess seeking him and 203 being called by him are very similar. You probably can’t seek 204 unless you have some sense that there’s something calling you, 205 something to be sought. I had other experiences following 206 that, like being at a mass and seeing Him come off the cross 207 towards me. I really understood saints and their visions because 208 it was clear that nobody else was seeing it. I was clear that it 209 was an inner vision, but I could see it. It was fascinating. 210 Mark: Was it saying something to you? 211 001: Well, just the power of it I guess. It wasn’t the fact of 212 him coming off. It wasn’t the fact that I could see him 213 externally. It was the fact that it was him, not the phenomenon. 214 I mean the phenomenon was startling enough, but I’d had a lot of 215 startling phenomenon. I’d seen people melt and all that 216 psychedelic stuff. What was significant here was that it was this 217 guy who was this person who I knew, who was basically saying 218 “hi,” and maybe even “keep coming.” 219 Mark: Do you seek guidance in your daily life? How do you do it, 220 how does it come, and how do you discern where it’s from?

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221 001: Yes, to me that’s more important today. The great visions 222 or knowing what you’re going to do with your life, those things 223 can happen. But my perception of God is like He or She is very, 224 very close. What’s happening right now between me and you, how we 225 got here, the synchronicities that got us to be sitting here 226 together . . . that’s the stuff I pay attention to. I pay attention 227 to synchronicities; I pay attention to different events that 228 happen. I try to pay attention to what’s happening in my body, my 229 feelings, and my thoughts. Why am I thinking about this and not 230 that? So I consider the call very immanent, very present moment 231 to moment. I’m more focused on that these days than I am on 232 the kind of call where you know the angel will come and say “go 233 save my people, deliver my people.” The place I listen most 234 closely to today, right now, is my relationship with my mate. 235 She’s the first woman that I’ve felt called to be with versus 236 somebody that I wanted to go to bed with that evolved into 237 something more, or life circumstances bringing us together. To me 238 this relationship feels like a call and our work together feels 239 like a call. What happens between us is one of the richest places 240 I hear my Lord speaking to me. It may not be in anything she says 241 or does. For instance, I’ve had a strong invitation with her to 242 love her much more than I ever wanted to love. I know that that 243 amount of caring means you’re looking at a hell of a loss, and 244 that’s been a struggle. I feel invited to that by our 245 relationship, and I pray and ask for the strength to do that. I 246 ask that I can love in that way, to let that love flow through to 247 her. That’s my prayer, and it’s been very transformative for me. 248 It brings up the losses, and made me much more open to my own 249 grief process. My family of origin never talked about my 250 brother’s death. We never really sat and grieved. We never talked 251 about it as a family. It was like “well, that’s over with.” Since 252 being with Lisa and being called in this particular direction, 253 when we have a cat die that we love I can feel that grief. I 254 know today that it won’t destroy me; that this Lord, even in my 255 tears and my grief, carries me through somehow. 256 Mark: How do you experience the invitation between you? 257 001: The invitation of us being together? 258 Mark: You said that in the relationship you almost hear an 259 invitation to love her. Is it like a voice inside or a feeling or 260 an energy? 261 001: That’s a good question. It’s more like seeing a potential, 262 seeing a door open. I experience it as seeing something. I’m 263 feeling something and thinking something and sensing something. 264 But it’s much more like an awareness blossoming that there’s 265 something that I’m not doing and I could do. I like the word 266 invitation more than call. It’s not the imperative “you better do

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267 this to be close to God.” It’s like “hey, if you want, look 268 here,” and I have the experience of it being so obvious that of 269 course I want to go that way. It almost doesn’t feel like a 270 choice but it actually is; my will is saying “yes” to that 271 potential. But I am also aware of what it’s going to mean too, so 272 there can be a struggle. But somewhere there is a “yes” to that 273 invitation. 274 Mark: That brings up an interesting question. It seems that 275 you’re doing some discerning there. How do you discern if that 276 invitation is from the Lord (or the Divine) or from some other 277 source within you? Are there certain qualities of the invitation 278 that are different? 279 001: There was a time when I would say it’s more cut and dried 280 than I think of it today. There was a time when I would say that 281 the more I explore myself, the more I know all my different parts 282 —my desires, my weaknesses, my strengths—all of me, to that 283 extent I can then begin to know when I hear a voice, when I hear 284 an invitation. In fact that’s the four stages of psychosynthesis: 285 Exploration, acting in relationship to the different parts within 286 (taking care of them, nurturing them, not letting them dominate 287 you but dancing with them), hearing call, and responding to call. 288 This pattern still makes sense to me. 289 However I’ve also had an experience of just following. We went to 290 a motorcycle rally, and I got excited about the motorcycle rally. 291 I hadn’t been around motorcycles for years and years. I struggled 292 with “do I want to go in this direction and what do I have to do 293 with motorcycles?” But it just felt good and I followed that. So 294 I got a motorcycle and I started riding. But I struggled with it. 295 “Isn’t this just a distraction in my life?” It harked back to my 296 old idea of “here’s this vision that’s really important so I have 297 to cut off things in order to respond.” There I was enjoying it, 298 and I’d have friends say, “So what is it you get out of riding a 299 motorcycle?” I wanted to be able to say “Well, I’m having a 300 deep spiritual kind of thing.” But no, I really enjoyed it; I 301 liked the excitement of it; I liked the speed and the agility of 302 the motorcycle. I loved riding. I just liked it, but I was 303 uncomfortable with that. “Could my Lord be asking me to ride a 304 motorcycle?” Well, my discernment was to bring that to my Lord, to 305 bring that to the Source. It was a continual lifting it up, 306 saying “if this isn’t right take it away,” and there were times 307 when I knew I was willing to do that. We do this exercise. You 308 hear a knock on the door, it’s God, He or She is going to tell 309 you something, and are you willing to open the door. So if God 310 was going to say to me “You’ve got to let go of that. Are you 311 willing to do that?” I was clear that I was willing, and if there 312 was some horrible sense of loss under that that would indicate

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313 personal work for me to do. In that discernment, in bringing it 314 with open hands basically during an exercise in which I was 315 talking to a wise person, I suddenly could see my life all the 316 way back in a line, and the deep abiding strain in me, the theme 317 in me of driving, riding. From hitchhiking with my father from LA 318 to Chicago when I was 6; to hearing stories from my dad about 319 his motorcycle or jumping freights or hitchhiking; to me 320 hitchhiking around Europe, hitchhiking across the states, and 321 riding a motorcycle across the states in ‘64; driving an 18 322 wheeler for a year and a half; and driving a turbine car for 323 Chrysler Corporation in the ‘65 World’s Fair. All of that was 324 out of my head when I was thinking about the motorcycle, but what 325 happened in that discernment was “Look dummy, this is part of 326 you. This is something . . . this is not some sort of momentary 327 distraction out of the air, this is something that is coming from 328 your roots.” This is one way I think about discernment. St. 329 Thomas Aquinas (1989) has a principle called Grace Builds on 330 Nature, meaning that your natural inclinations are where grace 331 builds. It’s not that you’re one way by nature and you’re called 332 to be something in which you drop all your gifts. You’re not 333 called to drop all that and become somebody completely different. 334 When I was starting to follow that path it wasn’t like the Lord 335 was saying, “go thee and ride a motorcycle.” It was like “I 336 really like that shiny motorcycle and I like the people and I 337 like the sound.” So it was all very sensual. But as I see it now, 338 it was a call, and there are things that came from that. 339 Qualities of concentration, of decisiveness, of power, came into 340 my life from the motorcycling branch, feeding the main root of my 341 life. So you know, it’s mysterious. 342 Mark: Let’s take a moment. We have about 7 minutes left. I 343 just want to review my questions, and also see if there’s 344 something you feel that’s calling you to say at this point. 345 (Pause) We’ve covered most of the questions but there’s just a 346 couple that I’ll throw out and you could feel how those feel to 347 you: What tools and practices and techniques do you use to seek 348 that guidance? I think you said prayer, and if there are several 349 different tools that you use; and to what degree do you 350 incorporate it in your life? Is it like a constant thing or do 351 you strive to surrender to it sometimes, often? How much do you 352 do it; and how has following guidance impacted your life? 353 001: How has it not? Yeah, okay in terms of concrete 354 things . . . the first one because the first one was concrete . . . 355 Mark: Tools and practices that you do. 356 001: So concrete tools and practices. As a therapist one of the 357 main things I do is listen to what my call is in terms of how to 358 be with whom I’m sitting with. As a part of that, I am very

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359 interested in what is emerging in terms of an invitation in their 360 life and helping the person tune into that. It’s sort of like 361 being paid to focus on call in myself and other people. Plus 362 teaching in this area focuses me. So it’s every day I’m trying to 363 plumb what this thing is, this thing of call. The concrete kind 364 of exercise I do would be talking to Jesus, or whoever shows up 365 in my inner world because the images can change. Also discerning 366 what my attachments and compulsions are. There’s a process that I 367 use with myself and with other people in which I try to make sure 368 that I’m as free as I can be to respond to what God might want 369 from me. How I do that is facing anything, and asking “am I 370 willing, what would I have to feel in order not to go in this 371 direction, and what would I have to feel in order to go in this 372 direction?” So it’s sort of like making a clearing. If I’m called 373 to X, Y and Z, and say “yes” to that am I going to feel off, 374 excited, or a loss? I make sure I know those feelings, and that 375 I’m open to those feelings, and if I don’t respond will I feel 376 this and that and that and that? Just knowing that creates a 377 place to hear it all and then to respond to it. So that’s sort of 378 the process, and it can go into different kinds of exercises. 379 Also going to sacred places, going to church, and nature. Now 380 being on a motorcycle is a place that has actually developed for 381 me. You’re alone and you’re extremely alert which is a pretty 382 good practice. 383 Mark: To be present? 384 001: To be able to hear. One of the things I like about the 385 motorcycle is if you’re not present you know it pretty fast. 386 You’re usually in a ditch or something. It’s a mindfulness 387 practice. 388 Mark: So would you say these practices are an integral part of 389 your life? 390 001: Yes. I would say all of those things are either a daily or 391 weekly practice for me. 392 Mark: How has all this affected your life? 393 001: Well, it’s brought me through all that stuff that I talked 394 about. It’s given me a sense of being in the right place at the 395 right time. For a lot of years after that peak experience in ‘68, 396 I felt like there was this place I needed to get to or something 397 I needed to make happen. Enlightenment was just around the 398 corner; it was something that was going to happen. I was going to 399 live in that space the whole time, but it was almost an 400 enlightenment addiction. Now it just feels like I’m in the right 401 place. It’s peaceful. I don’t know a lot about the future and 402 where I’m going. It’s not that I’m comfortable with the future by 403 knowing the future, which before it was like “this vision is 404 going to happen so that’s cool and I feel good.” Today it’s much

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405 more like I’m in the right place “now” and I’m released from that 406 kind of future compulsion. All I know is if I can just keep 407 abiding where I’m supposed to be then I will be doing what I’m 408 called to do. It’s much more like I’m called to be right here 409 with you and where does this go . . . I don’t know. But it’s not 410 anything that I’ve done. I think it is simply that my call has 411 released me. There’s being in the moment as being “it” as opposed 412 to “it” being some place I’m going to get to. 413 Mark: How does that feel, is it relief or . . . ? 414 001: Relief? Yes. There’s a peace in it, but it feels all 415 different ways, because sometimes this moment has fear in it, 416 sometimes this moment has depression it, and sometimes this 417 moment has excitement in it. But it’s a call to each of those. 418 It’s a call to who I am, to my place. It hasn’t given me a 419 particular kind of experience; it’s given me the ability to show 420 up for whatever my experience is, for whatever happens in this 421 moment, even if it’s embarrassing . . . it is what I’m called to 422 experience. So I guess there’s not an “oh my God I’m feeling this 423 way therefore that means . . .” but it’s more “oh I’m feeling this 424 way, I hate that feeling but that’s what I’m called to.” It’s 425 like I’m held in that, none of that’s going to hurt me. 426 Mark: For some reason I have one more question for you . . . What 427 would it be like not to be called? I guess what’s coming up for 428 me is what is this experience of being called, of listening, and 429 following. What does it bring into your life that wouldn’t be 430 there? 431 001: I think without that I would have to have something to 432 replace it. I think without that I would basically have to have 433 an idol. I would have to have an addiction. It’s like I need that 434 meaningful connection. 435 Mark: So is it like what Victor Frankl was talking about this 436 need to have meaning? (Frankl, 1984) 437 001: Yes, and without it it’s hard to go on. I understand it 438 conceptually that our sense of existence flows to us from that 439 ground of being. If that’s cut off to us we’re going to get it 440 through something else. We’re going to get it through power or 441 wealth, and that will become our call. There will be a call. Do 442 you want it to be from the ground or do you want it to be an 443 alcoholic’s call to alcohol? William James said getting entangled 444 in alcohol is a spiritual quest. So I think that’s what would 445 happen. I would still be called only my perception would be that 446 alcohol called me, or I would become a fanatic in this or 447 whatever. So I guess we’re always going to be called and 448 responding. 449 Mark: Is there anything else that you feel that you need to say 450 or does this feel complete for you?

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451 001: I think there’s a call that you’re responding to. I think 452 the notion of call is calling us today. I think of books like The 453 Soul’s Code (Hillman, 1997), or Levoy’s book Callings (1997), or 454 Bollas’ Forces of Destiny (1989), and Assagioli’s always been 455 there, and Bogart’s Finding Life’s Calling (1995). I think that 456 this notion is coming, and I think Bogart (1994) points this out 457 in his article in the Journal of Humanistic Psychology. I think 458 that this is a slightly different paradigm than talking about 459 states of consciousness, or becoming enlightened, or a ladder of 460 transformation in any sense. It’s more transcendent and immanent. 461 I think you’re responding to it, and my hunch is that’s why 462 we keep bumping into each other. 463 Mark: It’s the call of the call. 464 001: The call of the call. I think it’s happening. So I am very 465 pleased that you are called to this. I wish you well with this 466 dissertation. 467 Mark: Thank you for answering the call.


1 002: Bismillah ar-Rahman ir-Rahim . . . In the name of God the 2 merciful, benevolent, the source of all love and all support, 3 Father and Mother, Creator, sustainer of all the universes upon 4 universes. You who are present within us and all around us and 5 yet who transcends all the universes; You who are before the 6 before and after the after, bless us that we may speak the truth 7 from our lips, that we may hear the truth with our ears and see 8 the truth with our eyes. Amin, Amin, Amin . . . 9 Mark: Thank you. 10 002: This is the first tape I’ve started with a blessing. 11 Mark: If you could, please recount a couple stories that come to 12 mind of your experience of seeking, receiving, and following 13 divine guidance. 14 002: The first thing that comes to mind . . . shortly after I was 15 initiated as a sheikh, or a guide in this tradition, our head 16 sheikh in Istanbul said that part of my duties was to interpret 17 dreams. That one of the gifts given to our order is that of dream 18 interpretation and that’s an important part of guiding dervishes 19 on this path, and he recited a prayer and blew in my mouth. He 20 said basically to recite certain suras and to put myself at the 21 feet of the founder of our order and from that connection to 22 interpret dreams. When I returned to California I began 23 interpreting dreams and we all noticed that I interpreted dreams 24 in a way that I had no idea I could, that I had never done 25 before. So it was wonderful confirmation that something had 26 happened. In a sense the process of dream interpretation is

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27 really to open oneself up to whatever guidance comes as the dream 28 is being recited and to add to that my conscious knowledge of who 29 the dreamer is and what are the issues in their spiritual lives. 30 Out of that things come. Often these things are nothing that 31 I would have predicted or that I would consciously have chosen to 32 say but they really seem like wisdom that comes out of the dream. 33 So that process is a process I’ve been now doing for roughly 15 34 years. Another place that I find guidance comes is in giving my 35 weekly talks to our community here. I virtually always prepare 36 the talks, sometimes writing them down, sometimes just preparing 37 them as an outline in my head. But inevitably some of what I say, 38 if not the majority of what I say, is not what I planned. There 39 seems to be a living process of being present with our community 40 in which I have a sense of flow. I feel that I’m in a flow, and 41 in that place I trust what comes out. Our tradition as with most 42 Sufi orders, stresses the notion of a transmission lineage. It’s 43 often called a chain or silsil’ah in Arabic. The image that I 44 have is more like a pipeline, and that each teacher in a sense is 45 another section of pipe. What’s important in order for the 46 pipeline to work is that my section really is connected well with 47 my teacher. Otherwise, obviously what flows through the pipe 48 won’t be transmitted, and will leak out. So my connection to the 49 lineage, my connection to my own teacher, through my teacher to 50 the entire lineage, is important, and also that my length of pipe 51 doesn’t get a bunch of holes in it. There’s a certain requirement 52 of integrity in personal practice and personal attunement. Then 53 what flows through me is really flowing through this pipeline. 54 It’s not mine. I can use my personal experience but somehow the 55 essential truth is really beyond my personal experience, even 56 though my experience will find metaphors, words, and ways of 57 interpreting what comes through me. So it’s an interesting 58 balance. What comes through me I really trust, and I can 59 generally trust my simple interpretation of it, because I know 60 that the essence of what is being taught isn’t coming out of my 61 head, it is really coming from this other place. 62 (A cup of tea is brought in) 63 Mark: How do you experience the guidance in the experiences that 64 you talked about? Is it an inner voice, and so forth . . . what is the quality 65 of the experience? 66 002: It’s more thoughts arising rather than a voice. A thought 67 comes to my mind . . . “well, this image in this dream means this.” I 68 can remember when one of our senior teachers from New York would 69 come. He would interpret dreams when he was here because whoever 70 is senior does the work. He always said that when our head sheikh 71 is around he really couldn’t interpret dreams; you have to go to 72 the head sheikh. But our job is a halife, or a representative of

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73 the teacher. When the teacher isn’t around we stand in his place 74 or her place. I noticed when he would be interpreting dreams 75 as someone was telling a dream I would often think “oh yeah, that 76 means that,” and then he would say exactly the same 77 interpretation that came to me as I was listening. Often people 78 would ask me questions, critical questions for major issues in 79 their lives. For example, should I have this medical test or not, 80 or should I adopt a child, or things like that. Inevitably we’ve 81 had the same answer. One case I can think of was a couple that 82 said, “Can we adopt a child?” We both said yes, sure. Then 83 they pretty much said, “Should we have a second one?” We both 84 said no, and they did anyhow. They found they took on way too 85 much. I mean, of course, one never wants to change your love with 86 your child but there was really an acknowledgment that it really 87 has been too much. They’ve been sick and exhausted for the last 88 6 or 8 years partly because they took on two kids who are 89 roughly the same age. Yet from my head I wouldn’t have predicted 90 to say yes to one child but no to a second. I think having two 91 children in general is a good thing. But in this case, for 92 whatever intuitive reason, it wasn’t right. I mean it was 93 interesting that we both were very clear that the answer was no. 94 But again, to go back to your question, it really is not so much 95 a voice as a thought if you will. It doesn’t feel voiced to me so 96 much as just a thought comes to my mind. 97 Mark: How do you discern what’s coming from the Source, from this 98 pipeline, and what isn’t?’ 99 002: How can I discern or distinguish what comes through 100 this transmission, through our lineage, through our pipeline, and 101 what comes from other places? It’s a good question. It seems to 102 me that if it feels personal to me then it’s probably not coming 103 through the pipeline. You know, if it feels like I’m personally, 104 emotionally invested, that it’s hooked to my own personal life or 105 my own personality values, then probably it’s mine. If it 106 feels like something that I’m not personally invested in but 107 something I’ve also heard from my teachers or something that 108 really comes in the moment as I’m trying to teach, as I’m trying 109 to interpret scripture or something, then probably it’s not mine. 110 I think there’s a feeling of it flowing through me not coming 111 from me. I certainly have a sense that if I’m trying to teach and 112 I’m emotionally hooked, it’s going to be from me and it’s not 113 going to work nearly as well as when I’m able to stand back and 114 in a way represent the tradition and let the wisdom of the 115 tradition come through me. Most of the time I can do it but when 116 I can’t I usually know it because I usually fail spectacularly. 117 There’s a sense of what works and what doesn’t work. I remember 118 many years ago Sheikh Muzaffer came to Institute of Transpersonal

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119 Psychology, and we were all getting into group process, and you 120 know, speaking our truth. He said to us “If I say anything 121 from my guts don’t listen to me.” We all said, “Wait a 122 minute, we’ve been learning to do that. We’ve been struggling to 123 speak our truth, to speak from our guts.” He went on and he 124 said “But you see, if I don’t speak from myself but something 125 flows through me, then trust it.” It took me a long time to 126 get it, as I said, because I think I was so invested in what I 127 would think of as maybe the humanistic model of “what’s in me, my 128 thoughts, my feelings, is so important.” But what are my thoughts 129 and feelings worth? You know, it’s just my personality and more 130 often than not I’m absolutely wrong. But if something comes from 131 beyond me and is not distorted terribly much by me, then it’s 132 probably going to represent a deeper level of truth. 133 Mark: Do you access that guidance in your everyday life, in your 134 personal life as well? 135 002: Sometimes. I think that sense of flow for me is most there 136 when I’m here in our Tekke, in our center, when I’m teaching. 137 It’s also there when I’m teaching Aikido. Those are the two 138 places it’s clearest for me, and sometimes when I’m lecturing on 139 other things. I’m sure I could use it a lot more in the rest of 140 my life, but that process seems to be the clearest and strongest 141 in those two instances. 142 Mark: Do you have a sense that the Divine Source is part of the 143 pipeline? 144 002: Oh absolutely. The Divine, in a sense, is the ultimate 145 source of the wisdom that flows through our lineage. I have a 146 lineage scroll. One of my dear old friends Kennet Roshi showed me 147 her scroll many years ago, her Buddhist scroll, and it was very 148 similar. My scroll goes all the up through the sheikhs, the 149 teachers of our order, through many great Sufi saints, all the 150 way to the prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings upon him, and 151 his link was clearly to God. So in that sense we literally go all 152 the way back to Muhammad, and as a messenger of God he was 153 certainly the first direct source for us of that wisdom. 154 Mark: Have you experienced in your life a sense of call that has 155 brought you into this process of guidance? Do you have a certain 156 experience that you could say started your seeking, your seeking 157 guidance? 158 002: I think I felt a call to seek God. In fact I remember, years 159 ago when I was in graduate school, several of us had rented an 160 apartment, and there was one extra room that was like a large 161 walk-in closet except it didn’t have any hooks or hangers. I 162 said “Well let’s just paint it white and it’ll be a meditation 163 room.” At this point, this was about 1964 or ’63, I knew 164 nothing about meditation except I thought it was probably a

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165 really good thing to do. Then about a year, year and a half 166 later, I began to get involved with Aikido. I read a simple 167 description of a meditative practice, and I can remember just 168 sitting in my dormitory room, practicing watching the breath with 169 really amazing results. Once my mind and body got calm I had this 170 immediate sense of going within and going to another place in 171 consciousness. That was very powerful. As I learned different 172 kinds of formal meditation techniques I always felt what I got 173 out of it was far more than the little bit I put in. Then 174 over time it got more difficult. It was like a kind of a preview 175 of coming attractions from God, which I found almost everybody 176 has experienced. But I wasn’t seeking guidance, I was really 177 seeking God. I’m not sure that I was ready to take on the notion 178 that I could be guided and run my life out of guidance or teach 179 others out of guidance in those years. It seems to me the set up 180 was that I was a student and I knew nothing, and the swamis knew 181 things and I was there to be guided by them. I was there to be 182 guided by scripture or by the writings of my teacher. I wasn’t 183 given any sense of authority or responsibility to do that for 184 myself. Years later, and several spiritual paths later, I met 185 Sheikh Muzaffer. At the beginning I felt very much the same way. 186 I felt that he was the guide and I needed to learn a lot because 187 it was a very rich sophisticated tradition, although he and 188 Muktananda and other great teachers had said that the real guru 189 is within. Effendi said, “Well, eventually trust your heart. When 190 your heart opens up and you have access to the wisdom of the 191 heart, that is what you should follow.” But as a beginner he made 192 it clear that one didn’t start there. One started by doing 193 certain practices and learning things and then eventually in this 194 process the heart would open. Basically seeking guidance really 195 didn’t come until they made me responsible as a teacher. So at 196 the beginning it was clear that I was a student and my job was to 197 learn from my teacher, to learn from the writings and scriptures 198 of the tradition. But I also happened to have been the first one 199 initiated in California and by definition then I became the 200 senior dervish in California, which is pretty odd because we were 201 all totally new to it. But early on Tosun Effendi, who was the 202 sheikh in America responsible for our whole group, said to me 203 while I was visiting him “I think things are not going well in 204 California because you’re not there.” Part of me went “What 205 do you mean that I’m not there.” It was that I needed to be there 206 and lead them and guide them, and my initial response was “Wait a 207 minute, I’m having trouble leading and guiding myself much less 208 leading and guiding other people.” When I first became a dervish 209 Sheikh Muzaffer gave me his own hydaria, his vest. He was a huge, 210 huge man and it looked like it would wrap around my body at least

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211 twice. Someone said why don’t you give him another vest because 212 yours is too big for him. This was immediately after my 213 initiation as a dervish and he said, “No, no, no this is good for 214 him. He can put his dervishes under it.” So there was a hint 215 there that first hour of my life as a dervish, and of course I 216 kind of got freaked out and then tried to forget it. At a certain 217 point I told a dream to Sheikh Muzaffer and he said “Well, you 218 should start doing some meditation and start lecturing to the 219 dervishes in California.” Well, nobody ever taught me any 220 meditation, but I started lecturing. With my professional 221 background, what I did was read and summarize what he wrote. 222 That’s as much as I felt I could do. That lasted for a while. 223 Slowly I began to rely not only on what was written and what I 224 had heard, but also I somewhat synthesized those things for 225 myself. Then after I became a sheikh, I began to rely more and 226 more on my ability to lecture without simply repeating what was 227 in a book or repeating directly what I had heard. I began to have 228 this sense of being able to trust my ability to follow the 229 guidance that came from our lineage. As I have said, at first I 230 checked things with Tosun Effendi a number of times because I 231 didn’t know whether what I was finding was right or wrong. So it 232 was very reassuring for me when I would come up with an answer 233 and part of me would go “where did you get that from,” for him to 234 say exactly the same thing. That really confirmed my trust in 235 whatever this process is, and now I know that I can give a 236 lecture for an hour or whatever with no preparation at all if it 237 comes up. The other night for example, was the anniversary of the 238 conception of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings upon him. 239 I really hadn’t prepared anything. We were going to do a little 240 chanting and a little ceremony. We had two guests come and I 241 thought, “Well, I need to say something,” and so for half an hour 242 I gave a talk. Now much of it was from stories I’ve heard from my 243 teachers but much of it was kind of an interesting interpretation 244 of who is Muhammad and why it is important that we love and 245 respect him, and what does he mean to us at different levels. 246 It just came because at that moment I thought I needed to say 247 something, which I hadn’t anticipated. So this process does 248 happen and I know it’s available. I trust it. 249 Mark: Are there certain tools and practices you do to prepare 250 yourself for that process, to work with that process? 251 002: In terms of tools or practices to prepare myself to receive 252 guidance I think it’s an ongoing practice of letting go, of being 253 open to what comes. As my sheikh said, when he taught me about 254 dreams, we are metaphorically sitting at the knee of the founder 255 of our order. So it’s putting myself into a state of receptivity. 256 It’s letting go. Of course it’s easy to say and not so easy to

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257 do, but in essence it is simple. I think my preparation is my 258 regular practice . . . praying, meditating, and reading scripture; 259 all those things that are part of the practice of a dervish, not 260 necessarily a sheikh. What I’ve been given to do as a sheikh is 261 simply in many ways more to do as opposed to anything totally 262 different from what I did before. But I would say the main thing 263 is really to trust that connection and in a way to surrender to 264 it. To let go of whatever might be in me that would inhibit that 265 flow from coming. I know when I sit here in this seat with this 266 stuff on me I feel I’m in that place and it’s easy. Similarly 267 it’s easy when I’m on the Aikido mat in my Aikido clothes. It’s 268 not so easy when I’m being a father or a husband or a teacher in 269 other courses. I think more often than not I blow it or at least 270 I don’t work from that same state of really clear flow that I 271 trust. I think my head gets more in the way. 272 Mark: I have a question that’s coming up for me. In my 273 experience in the Sufi tradition, which is just from classes and 274 with Sufi stories and poems, it feels like the stories and poems 275 are guiding. Sometimes I’ll read a story and it will just 276 penetrate my whole life. I’m just wondering if its part of the 277 tradition that stories and poetry are forms of connecting? 278 002: In the Sufi tradition, the stories, the powerful stories 279 and metaphors, the parables of Sufism, the great poetry of 280 Sufism, are ways of connecting to the Source, to this guidance. 281 I tell the same stories over and over again. I only know so many 282 stories. But what’s interesting is I’ll often tell them with a 283 different nuance because they’re part of a different talk, 284 they’re part of another day, they’re part of another holiday. I 285 find that they’re new, and the dervishes here who listen to me 286 certainly say the same thing. They say that often they’ve heard a 287 story now for the fifth time or the tenth time and it has a 288 different sense of meaning. I think part of that is simply that 289 they’re in a different place and they bring more to the story. 290 Also, to some extent, as I’m in a different place I can bring 291 them another layer of meaning of the story, and I think both are 292 true. I think Idries Shah did a very interesting thing that was 293 very much outside the Sufi tradition, by simply collecting these 294 wonderful stories and putting them into a bunch of books with no 295 context at all. At least the way our tradition works, which is 296 only one order from one country out of hundreds of orders from 297 hundreds of different countries, the stories are not used 298 separate from the rest of what’s going on. Someone asks a 299 question, and the story’s part of an answer to that question. If 300 I’m trying to teach a particular point often a story will come 301 and shed light on this point. Often the stories are richer in 302 that it doesn’t just shed one answer or one piece, but the story

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303 itself is multidimensional. For example, one of my favorite 304 stories is about the importance of practice. When I talk about 305 knowledge, not just taking in knowledge but how important it is 306 to practice what you’ve learned, I love to repeat a Nasruddin 307 story. It’s the one that Nasruddin is functioning as a judge and 308 a mother comes to him with a little boy and she says “Nasruddin, 309 could you please tell my boy not to eat sweets. He’s got this 310 horrible sweet tooth, and anytime I make anything in the house 311 that’s sweet he’ll steal it and it doesn’t ever get to the dinner 312 table. He’ll swipe the honey and the sugar, and every dessert I 313 make I have to lock up if I ever want to get it to the dinner 314 table.” Nasruddin thinks and he says, “Okay, come back in two 315 weeks.” So she comes back two weeks later and he kneels down and 316 looks eye to eye with the boy and he says, “Young man, I know you 317 can do this. Use your will power, control that desire for sweets 318 in you. You can do it, go home and do that.” He gets up and 319 the mother says to him “Nasruddin, why did you have me come here 320 now? I mean it was a long trip, couldn’t you have told him that 321 2 weeks ago?” Nasruddin says, “Absolutely not. You see I have a 322 sweet tooth, and until I controlled it in myself I couldn’t tell 323 him to.” Now it’s a great story out of context in many ways 324 because that issue is an interesting fundamental issue. But in 325 context it’s a very useful story. It’s a reminder that book 326 learning and that kind of intellectual knowledge has no force 327 unless it’s really backed up by one’s own personal experience in 328 the reality of one’s own life and practice. There are many levels 329 of that. I’ve also used it as a window on the difference between 330 Western scholarship and the kind of wisdom that Sufi teachers try 331 to experience. Western scholarship takes it for granted that 332 you’re probably not going to practice what you’re writing about. 333 For the Sufis, as with much of the Eastern traditions, if you 334 don’t live it it’s not worth anything, the words are hollow, 335 they’re meaningless. They have to come from lived experience. I 336 value that story in a bunch of different related contexts. I 337 don’t ever get tired of telling it, and I do think that people 338 come away with a sense that the story does teach them in a direct 339 way, it speaks to them. If you hear the same story a number of 340 times and suddenly it opens something in you, it’s pretty clear 341 that what’s opening is some intuitive connection with guidance. 342 It’s not just the words of the story but something is opening in 343 you that wasn’t opened a month ago or a year ago. I do more than 344 what the Sufi classes or just reading the books would do. I 345 always provide some sort of a context and some interpretation of 346 the stories. That’s what I do. 347 Mark: My sense is that you mostly use this process of guidance 348 when you’re helping others. Do you also use it in some situations

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349 for yourself? For example, if you have a major decision to make, 350 do you use guidance in that or try to? 351 002: My sense is that I use guidance mostly in teaching. 352 Somehow, in my role as a teacher I can call on guidance easily 353 for whatever reasons. I also do get guidance about my own life. 354 Part of the problem is however, I’m usually too attached to the 355 issues, and it gets muddled more for me when it’s my own issue. 356 So I may say, “Yes, that’s what I should do,” and then a 357 rationalization will come in, “Well, let’s look at other sides,” 358 which I don’t do when I’m dealing with other people because I’m 359 not attached to the issue. So frankly it works better for me as 360 a teacher than in my own life, which is why I often don’t think 361 of myself as a highly developed teacher. 362 Mark: When you’ve talked about your first experience with 363 Sufism and your teacher coming to ITP in your book and when 364 you’ve spoken about it, I perceived that there was a sense of 365 calling, like there was this pull, a guiding force that was 366 pulling you in. Is that true, were you feeling a personal pull 367 into this? 368 002: Certainly my very first meeting with my teacher very much 369 had the sense of a calling or a personal pull. When Sheikh 370 Muzaffer came to ITP I had never met him, and didn’t know much 371 about Sufism at that point or who he was. He walked by my door 372 and glanced into the room. He walked by without breaking stride 373 so his glance lasted for a fraction of a second. At that point 374 time stood still for me. It was just this amazing sense of 375 timelessness. I had this clear feeling that all the data of my 376 life was being squirted through a high speed modem into a main 377 frame computer, like the biggest computer at Stanford or Berkeley 378 or something huge, and that that computer was so good it could 379 take all that data, integrate it all, and know how everything was 380 going to come out. At that point I heard a little voice, and the 381 voice said, “I hope that was the head teacher because if that was 382 one of his students I don’t want to meet this guy’s teacher.” 383 This was heavy enough. There was an unexpected instant connection 384 that clearly was not about my intellectual expectations or any of 385 my personal history stuff. Whatever this was it was going on at 386 another level. I’m not sure I would call it guidance; it was 387 certainly a connection. It was a calling, a connection first to 388 him personally, and then over time, as I listened to him, I 389 became deeply connected to what he taught and to the people 390 around him, and so it all deepened. The initial connection was a 391 very deep personal connection with him, and in our tradition that 392 is often how you start. It’s often said that the way you start 393 Sufism is falling in love with a sheikh. You fall in love with a 394 teacher and you are willing to give your spiritual life to that

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395 teacher’s guidance and into that teacher’s hands. That’s one of 396 the few good reasons why one should become a dervish, a Sufi. So 397 that really is how it started, with that fascinating experience. 398 Again the interesting thing was I had absolutely no 399 expectations, I didn’t even know who it was that passed my door. 400 All I knew was that he had a white hat on and he had a mustache 401 and he didn’t look like the average people that you know walk by 402 my door. I knew he was one of the Turkish Sufi visitors and that 403 was all I knew until time stopped. 404 Mark: You talked about submitting and letting go, and I know in 405 Sufi stories and poetry there’s a lot about the idea of 406 surrender. Could you talk a little bit about that process in 407 Sufism, in your tradition? By submitting to the teacher are you 408 also submitting to the higher Source through them? 409 002: Sufism and Islam talk about submission and the question 410 really is what is that process and what is submission to a 411 teacher? Is submission to a teacher really also submission to the 412 Divine? In our tradition submission is often put in terms of 413 submission of your little will, your personal will to Divine 414 Will, but it’s hard to know what is personal will and what is 415 Divine Will. One way of thinking about it is to submit those 416 personal neurotic things in me that want me to make certain 417 decisions for my own selfish benefit or that are conditioning me 418 to understand or to decide based on my own personal history or my 419 own personal biases that get in the way of that flow really 420 working well. So in a way submission is to get the personal out 421 of the way and let that which is far greater come through, in the 422 sense of connecting it back to guidance. Submission to a teacher 423 is the beginning of submission to one’s whole lineage, which is 424 the beginning of submission to the Divine. In fact it’s said the 425 end state is called fana. Fana means to extinguish, to become 426 nothing, and it is said that you start with fana fi Sheikh, to 427 surrender, to dissolve in your teacher. Then there’s fana fi Pir, 428 to dissolve in the founder of your order; then fana fi Rasul, to 429 dissolve in the prophet, peace and blessings upon him; and 430 finally, fana fi Allah, to dissolve in God. In one sense to 431 dissolve in one’s sheikh means to identify with the teacher, to 432 know the teacher’s values, to know the teacher’s mind so that you 433 can virtually answer with the words your teacher would use even 434 without your teacher being present. I’ll never forget early on 435 during the first visit of the dervishes, there was a problem in 436 the kitchen. The ITP students were making three meals a day for 437 the dervishes and struggling to make good food that Turks would 438 like. These were men who hadn’t traveled a great deal; they were 439 really used to their own style of cooking. We tried to do well by 440 them but there were some struggles in the kitchen of who was in

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441 charge and all that stuff. Some of the Turks who were incredible 442 cooks wanted to come help out and the students were saying, “but 443 we have to serve.” So at one point the man who was the translator 444 for the sheikh came in and he looked around and he gave this 445 incredible talk on the nafs, on this lower personality and the 446 ego, and how the ego wants to take credit. He said “Ideally you 447 should serve for the sake of service and it shouldn’t matter who 448 serves as long as people are being served well, but the ego won’t 449 let you do that.” It was the most exquisite talk on the ego and 450 on service, and how these things work together; yet there wasn’t 451 a word that was wasted or that was irrelevant to the situation in 452 that moment in the kitchen. I said to the translator, “I think 453 you blew it. You’re not just a translator. That was the most 454 incredible talk I’ve heard on these critical core issues in 455 Sufism.” He said, “No, no, no, I’m the translator for 456 Muzaffer Effendi. He’s just not here now, but those are his 457 words.” Of course the translator was Tosun Effendi, who 458 has been my sheikh and guide, and the senior sheikh in America 459 for many years. But at first his role was that of the translator 460 to the sheikh, not of being a sheikh in his own right, and he was 461 an impeccable translator in that role. So I think that that’s a 462 wonderful example of submission or dissolving into one’s sheikh, 463 and to be able to say, “Ideally what I teach is what my sheikh 464 would say.” If he’s not in the room, I have a level of trust and 465 an understanding of who my sheikh is so I can simply repeat his 466 words or be a channel for his words. 467 Mark: Is there anything else you feel you’d like to say? 468 002: Many years ago, probably 10 years before I met Muzaffer 469 Effendi, I went to India for a conference on the scientific study 470 of yoga. All kinds of people were there—Tibetan Buddhists, 471 Yogis, and Sufis. I met a man who called himself a Sufi. I had no 472 idea what in the world was a Sufi at that time, and I remember I 473 sat with him and at one point he said to me, “You have light. 474 Feel yourself surrounded in that light and teach from that light, 475 act from that light. Just do it.” I thought, gee that’s nice. It 476 was inspiring, then part of me thought “That’s too simple, how 477 could I do that? That’s much too easy.” It’s taken 20 or 478 30 years for me to realize that in fact it is that simple, 479 when one gets to the place that one can do it; that to the extent 480 that I can remember I’m in that light or put myself in a role 481 like this in which somehow part of the role is being in 482 connection, being in a sense of flow with it, that it does 483 happen. But when I first heard it, my definition of myself was as 484 a student, and a student is not one who gets the light from 485 themselves, you have to get it from a teacher and struggle and be 486 in darkness. So it’s interesting that in one sense I was really

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487 empowered to use guidance and to follow guidance only after I was 488 initiated as a teacher. I really think part of the implicit 489 definition of the role of student is that you give all that power 490 to somebody else. I think that’s one of the problem with many 491 traditions; or it may be that when one is a student one isn’t 492 ready, that there’s too much personal stuff in the way, and that 493 maybe one is only ready to be a teacher when one is ready and 494 able to follow that guidance without much distortion. I think 495 that’s probably true too. It’s said in the Sufi tradition that 496 when you’re ready and mature spiritually, a child of the heart is 497 born. It’s said that if the child is female it means you are to 498 nurture yourself, and the guidance and the wisdom is for you. 499 Unfortunately this sounds chauvinist, but I think the notion is 500 that the woman is more concerned with the inner, with the home, 501 with the nurturing within the family. If the child is male, then 502 you’re destined to become a teacher, and that guidance is also to 503 be used for others. So in the Sufi tradition one gets to a 504 certain place, and then there’s this subtle difference in the 505 dervishes whose heart wisdom is to be used for self-nourishment 506 and the dervishes whose heart wisdom is to be used in teaching. 507 Mark: Have you experienced that birth? 508 002: No, not in any way that makes sense. It’s a beautiful 509 metaphor but I certainly haven’t experienced anything as dramatic 510 as a birth of an inner child. I’ve experience guidance, I’ve 511 experienced a connection to and a willingness to follow guidance, 512 but I’m afraid I can’t honestly say I’ve had anything as dramatic 513 as an inner birth.


1 003: (Drumming) Oh Great Spirit I’m calling to you. Oh Earth 2 Mother what more can I do? Open me up that I might receive, open 3 me up that I might believe. Oh Great Spirit I’m calling to you. 4 Oh Earth Mother what else can I do? Teach me the way to be just 5 and fair. Give me the strength of the mother bear. Oh Great 6 Spirit I’m calling to you. Oh Earth Mother what else can I do? 7 Open me up that I might receive, open me up that I might believe. 8 Mark: Thank you. Could you recount a couple of personal life 9 experiences where you sought, received, and followed guidance? 10 If it feels right to include the seeking, receiving, and following 11 aspects then do please do so; if it doesn’t you can just use your 12 own words. 13 003: Okay. I’m going to have some water from time to time, 14 because we’re sitting out in the sun. The gift of the sun is 15 sometimes to get dry and seek water. The first experience that I 16 think that’s important for me to share is when I went seeking in

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17 the Colorado wilderness in 1992. I had been in Africa on a 18 camping safari. I’d never been there before. We got home on the 19 day of the earthquake. We were home about 20 minutes when the 20 earth quaked. We were so jet lagged that what was happening was 21 quite confusing. I realized in that quaking, in those after- 22 shocks that kept occurring that Africa had been an earth-quaking 23 experience for me . . . most profoundly. We were in the house about 24 4 days after the earthquake, and Bob and I were in the hot 25 tub. I looked at Bob and said “Bob, I’m quitting my job at the 26 university,” and Bob said, “You are?” and I said, “Yes, I’m 27 leaving.” Then I shared with him the experience of quaking, and 28 knowing that Africa had quaked me, and there was something very 29 powerful about coming home to this quaking. He asked me “What are 30 you going to do?” and I said, “I don’t know, I don’t know. I want 31 to leave myself open.” The university wanted me to wait for a 32 while because I was director of the Psychological Services Center 33 at the time, but I was also on sabbatical so it gave them some 34 time to replace me. Word got around that I had quit my job and 35 the program director at Esalen invited me to come down and lead a 36 seminar there. I had never been to Esalen in all the years I’d 37 lived here. They wanted me to teach the Medicine Wheel Way. While 38 I was down at Esalen teaching the Medicine Wheel, I was sitting 39 at lunch one day and this woman, whose name was Ann Armstrong, 40 introduced herself and we had a very interesting conversation. In 41 the process of it she said to me “You know, I’ve got to introduce 42 you to Michael Harner. You two need to meet,” and so I followed 43 that one. See I’m just open; I don’t know what’s coming. I said 44 I’d just be open and see what comes. So then I met Michael Harner 45 and subsequently took his intensive training program. The 46 following year he asked me to teach on the faculty of the 47 Foundation for Shamanic Studies. We’d made a very quick 48 recognizing of one another’s path, and as far as I was concerned, 49 what was happening with the foundation was just another take on 50 the walk from my Lakota roots. I loved learning specific 51 techniques through the foundation with Michael. It was very 52 important, but I found myself in a place of real confusion. I 53 confused myself and confounded myself about what was really 54 calling me. Some pieces were missing for me in the program the 55 foundation offered and in what I was even teaching. It felt like 56 a deep, deep, deep restlessness inside me, very deep. I knew I 57 needed to go off in quest. At the time Sandra Ingerman, who was 58 with the foundation, and I had done some teaching together and 59 began forming what remains a very close friendship. She 60 appreciated my questions and had her own wonderings. We decided 61 that there were probably a few others like us that were confused, 62 so we got together a group of seven of us, people we invited, and

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63 went off into the San Juan wilderness. The invitation was, “if 64 you’re at a place in your life where you’re restless of spirit 65 and you know something more is calling you and you don’t know 66 what that more is, and have been in shamanic practice for some 67 time, we invite you to come questing with us . . .” So we were there 68 one day and we started by working on our dreaming; on what dreams 69 we had been receiving. Sandy and I were coleading and I’d had a 70 very clear message in a dream before we arrived to the wilderness 71 that we really needed to take seriously this invitation and this 72 restlessness. We needed to go off individually and simply see the 73 group as a container for bringing back our experiences and 74 sharing, if desired, but not to seek into the group for the 75 quest. So we set aside 2 days for this solitary individual 76 questing out of the 5 days together. When I went off on my 77 questing, I took my rattle and my EagleBone whistle. My EagleBone 78 whistle has been very sacred to me; it was from my uncle. I went 79 out the door of the lodge and I used my rattle and I asked the 80 spirits to lead me and take me to whatever place that I should 81 dwell for a while for my questing. I immediately felt a tug 82 pulling me into a certain direction, and I moved in that 83 direction, across some hills and scree, fording a little alpine 84 river and some meadows. It was a very large wilderness area, and 85 there wasn’t anyone else around but the nonhuman inhabitants and 86 us. I ended up going very very far. Then I had a sense to stop at 87 a certain area and I stopped there. Where I was stopping looked 88 quite prickly; there were cacti and prickly things, and it did 89 not look like a very pleasant spot to sit in for a while. But I 90 sat myself down and listened and offered prayer. I began 91 rattling, and then I heard some sounds, birds around me. I took 92 my EagleBone whistle and for the first time in my life I 93 discovered that I could use my whistle to make the same sounds 94 these birds were making. So I found myself in this blissful 95 experience of being a bird and hearing varieties of birds answer 96 me. I don’t know how long I was there, it seemed like a lifetime, 97 but for a while it became so blissful. Then suddenly I remembered 98 that I forgot my intention because I was in such conversation 99 with the birds. As soon as I remembered my intention, I heard a 100 huge squawking, and I took it to be a signal “yes, you have to 101 return, return to intention.” I opened my eyes and put my whistle 102 back around my neck and started to rattle. Then over in the 103 distance to my right, I perceived a dark sort of a thicket shaped 104 area at the end of this alpine meadow that was calling to 105 me . . . something about the shadows and the quality of light. There 106 just seemed to be shapes there. I went over to this area and was 107 moving along the edge of the thicket line, which was quite dense, 108 and I heard a very very large rustling in the bushes and I

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109 paused. I did my rattle very quietly to center myself and to open 110 myself . . . but not to stop myself from what I was hearing. Then I 111 heard a “. . . woof, woof . . . .” Everything seemed to go cold and dark, 112 and there was a musky scent suddenly flooding me. In that very 113 moment of this flooding of my senses, I looked in front of me and 114 this large bear was standing up. This bear was about as far 115 between me and that table over there, however many feet that is. 116 Very close, I could see it completely. I was in such an altered 117 state; the presence of the birds was still in me. I looked at 118 this great bear standing there, and I felt my eyes immediately 119 soften and a prayer passing through me of “thank you.” As soon as 120 that prayer passed through me I heard more rustling and saw two 121 cubs coming around her, and in that moment I just shivered with 122 fear. It’s just that shivering even before you have a thought. 123 Though I’d never had an experience with bears before, somewhere 124 in me I knew “uh oh, this is a mother with cubs . . . danger . . . fear.” 125 I saw her cuff one of the cubs behind her and she never took her 126 eyes off me. I slowly, very slowly came down to my knees. I 127 wasn’t even thinking of slowness, I just slowly came down to my 128 knees. My rattle was going as quietly as could be, but that 129 rattle never stopped . . . very quiet. As I came slowly down my eyes 130 softened. I remember so well; I can even feel the flood of 131 feelings in me now. I remember thinking, feeling . . . “We have a 132 great relationship,” and I wanted to let her know that I loved 133 her and that I cared for her children and would do them no harm. 134 As soon as I felt that go through me there was the equal 135 prayer to her, “care for our children too.” For some reason I’m 136 crying. I haven’t shared this for quite awhile, but it was so 137 powerful, and is still so powerful. As soon as I followed my 138 prayer of “care for our children too” with, “I care for your 139 children, we have a great relationship,” she dropped to all 140 fours. I’m on my knees and she just stood there, this large, 141 large, large great being and just looked at me and so much passed 142 between us. Then she started moving in front of me across the 143 edge of the thicket and her cubs were following her. She moved up 144 this hill towards the thicket and I saw her moving into the tree 145 line. I felt an incredible covenant had been made; I had made 146 covenant with her. Whatever that meant I didn’t know, but I knew 147 in that moment I’d made a covenant. I didn’t stare or watch her, 148 I just sensed her out of my peripheral vision moving away and 149 then I just allowed myself to fall to the ground so that my head 150 was on the ground. I was praying and awaring myself of the 151 fullness I felt in myself, and the fullness of love. Then as I 152 started bringing my head up from my knees I suddenly became very 153 clear. “You’ve made a covenant here, there are some agreements to 154 keep” came through me. I started to rattle acknowledging that

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155 “I will find out what those agreements are,” because I had no 156 idea what all this meant, “and I will find out what this covenant 157 means and I will learn what it means to keep covenant,” because I 158 didn’t know what that meant either. As I’m rattling, rattling to 159 the earth and then bringing up my rattle, I see, as I looked 160 upward, this eagle circling. Eagle, from my teachings and my 161 relations with my uncle, carried in me a blessing to see far, and 162 I felt that I would be helped to see far eventually. “Just be 163 here, whatever the covenant and agreement is you will be 164 encircled.” I’d gone seeking guidance; I’d gone as a seeker. I’d 165 certainly received, and whatever was to follow this would come. 166 As I turned to leave this area my knees were wobbly and I was 167 trembling. I heard a huge crashing from behind me over to the 168 left, and one of the people who was in the retreat, was screaming 169 and running down the hill. He’s screaming, “There’s a bear, 170 there’s a bear!” He’s some distance from me right and I just 171 quietly keep walking and our paths intercept because he comes to 172 warn me. I just say, “I know, everything’s okay Alan.” Then 173 as we’re standing there I see a woman running up the meadow. She 174 says to Alan “Did you see all that?” and he says, “All what?” 175 “Carol . . . ” I said, “Please don’t speak about my experience,” 176 because suddenly I felt that the purity of the experience needed 177 to be held. We gathered late that evening to share our quest and 178 experiences of whatever was to be shared. I had me in a dilemma 179 because I was not ready to share. The woman who saw me shared in 180 a way that I respected because her experience included seeing 181 what happened with me, so she needed to share. In that very 182 moment I thought, “somebody is witnessing and that’s a teaching 183 to me.” Then Sandy quietly turned to me and said, “Is there 184 anything you want to share?” I listened and as I listened I felt 185 bear come, her spirit came across that meadow from that thicket. 186 I stood up and I said “Yes, she wants to share of herself with 187 you.” Then I just went around but it wasn’t me; I went around and 188 as I touched each person it truly was her paws, and she wanted 189 her breath on them. Without realizing it until I hear my self 190 right now, that was probably the beginning of following. It 191 was my first experience of a spirit walking into me and merging 192 with me. 193 Mark: That’s a great story. It says it all. Thank you. What is 194 your sense of what it is that was calling you to go on that 195 journey in the first place? What is your notion of this force or 196 spirit that calls? 197 003: I believe the spirit, the force that was calling me was the 198 great, great Mothering Powers that are part of this universe and 199 are a gift of God, the Great Spirit, however you want to say it. 200 Because I had been sent from the reservation to an orphanage my

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201 own mothering was absent. This force, this power that was calling 202 is the one who is related to the powers of giving birth, of 203 death, of the cycles of life, of compassion and regeneration. I 204 call that the Mothering Powers and I want to use that in the 205 broadest sense, because those Mothering Powers come in many 206 different forms, there’s the Fathering Powers too. 207 Mark: Do you see any common patterns or core issues rising from 208 this experience and the other guidance experiences that you’ve 209 had throughout your life? How do these issues and patterns 210 relate to the traditional guidelines and teachings of the 211 tradition or traditions you have followed and studied? 212 003: When you go seeking, remember you’re never without helpers. 213 When you go seeking you will receive. Leave yourself open for the 214 unexpected. There will always be times of fear; it’s part of the 215 whole process. There will always be those moments of fear when 216 your body trembles, but remember that part of that pattern of 217 fear is actually awe and not fear from which to flee. It’s very 218 important for our souls and for us to really take times apart on 219 this path. Some things cannot be done with other humans, and the 220 spirit needs a different entryway. Another pattern that keeps 221 showing up way back from childhood is that you’ll have an 222 experience and you’ll value the experience and then the 223 reoccurrence of it in different forms is just lifting you to a 224 higher quality of knowing. There is someone who helps bring you 225 into this world and not just your biological mother and not just 226 your father. Spirit helps bring you in the world. There are spirits 227 that help you when you’re here. There is comfort as well as 228 challenge. There is shattering because we need to be shattered, 229 like the husk being taken off the seed. There is help when you 230 leave this world; you will be held, and there is help in another 231 world. That’s all been part of learning bear medicine and 232 learning with bear. 233 Mark: The next question is, what experiences and/or forces do you 234 believe contributed to your beginning to seek guidance in your 235 life? 236 003: From the beginning, one of the things that brought me into 237 seeking as a child was being orphaned, even though I had a family 238 of five with me in the orphanage. My father died when I was 21 239 months old and I never really knew him. My mother’s people 240 disowned her. They lived in Mexico for a while and eventually 241 took her back in after his death. They took us in but then, as 242 was the way of the Bureau of Indian Affairs at the time, we were 243 going to be sent off to Catholic schools and my mother would not 244 have that. She wanted us to go to another place where there 245 wasn’t that influence, so we were sent far away. I think early as 246 a child I was seeking to know unity. Maybe I was seeking to know

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247 that my whole family was valued and loved. Maybe I came into the 248 world restless. Another seeking is when someone asks something of 249 me. In 1995, a person from one of the well-known anthropology 250 museums called because there was a disturbance in the museum. 251 Strange things were happening and they were concerned about these 252 disturbances. I went up there and just rooted around and indeed 253 there was a great disturbance. I felt it immediately. Now I had 254 never worked with bones; I had never worked with body parts in 255 the room. I didn’t have any idea except I knew help was needed. 256 So once I knew the set up I went off and for 6 months I spent 257 time working with spirits and journeying to see what does one do 258 with trapped souls in bones. Then that began another process of 259 working for 4 to 5 months of going up there regularly with 260 each of these bones to help release the souls that were trapped 261 and help them cross over. So I have to go seeking, I receive, and 262 it’s very important to know that if you don’t follow through you 263 get in trouble. 264 Mark: What kind of trouble? 265 003: If people go seeking and they ask the spirits for something 266 and the spirits give them guidance, you have to sort of test it 267 out because we live in this world. The guidance you get has to be 268 appropriately manifested. If not, I think the spirits desert 269 people. I think that you can go through periods of real crisis 270 because you’ve received something that needed manifesting and now 271 it’s stuck in you, and there can be perturbations in your outer 272 world because of this. I’ve been assigned a job and I’m to follow 273 through on something that I asked for, and I’m not following 274 through. I’m just mumbling about it and thinking about it and 275 wondering whether or not I should do it and so forth; or I’ve 276 even forgotten it. But someone I know senses something dark is 277 here, senses something’s blocked, senses some disturbance. Now 278 I’m very fortunate if I have friends or a husband who will let me 279 know they sense this as opposed to me finally having to get in 280 such a crisis. I always tell people, “When you do your shamanic 281 journeys, when you do journeys and you go to spirits and they 282 give you something to do, don’t journey to them again until 283 you’ve done it.” Why take up their time if you’re not going to 284 follow through? 285 Mark: That sounded very bear. 286 003: (Laughter) Oh that’s a great comment. I believe it is. 287 That’s like when something happens in retreat and someone’s 288 endangering themselves in the circle, I don’t stop to figure it 289 out and explain it all, I say “We don’t do that” or “Don’t do 290 that.” Sometimes there’s danger, and you have to draw the line, 291 and someone will say, kidding me, “Oh, here comes grizzly.” 292 Mark: What are some of the various tools you use in seeking

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293 guidance? 294 003: The practices and the tools and the techniques I use in 295 seeking guidance are all kind of connected in me. You use your 296 rattle and I use my rattle in different ways. You can do it 297 clockwise or counter clockwise, if you want to go back to the 298 ancestors. I do it on me; I do it on others. This is seeking 299 guidance. I use the rattle when I’m trying to lift up and call 300 forth, in a seeking way, the spirits or the little invisible 301 aspects of ourselves that are available around and within 302 ourselves all the time. I use the rattle in my daily life. When I 303 plant my bulbs, the soil and all the bulbs get rattled. When we 304 have a meal together we rattle our food. So for me this is a 305 primary tool, technique, and practice. I make and find and am 306 given different kinds of rattles. Drumming, I think if I didn’t 307 have a drum that I would probably use sticks or something to 308 bring forth the sound of her heartbeat, deep, deep down, and my 309 heartbeat and the animals and the trees. I do have different 310 techniques I use with the drum. For example, this drum, which 311 came from a Sami shaman in Lapland, has various designs on it and 312 all these designs have meaning. The shaman shared these with me 313 and then taught me how to find meaning for me from the spirits. 314 So when you ask me a question and I want to seek information for 315 you, let’s say you are saying, “where shall I move?” Then I beat 316 the flat bone piece of antler that he gave me with the drum and 317 it moves around and then finally comes to a place of stopping. I 318 will drum as long as necessary until it comes to that place of 319 stopping. There in is the reply to you or to me or a group or 320 whatever. So I use the drum that way for divination, for seeking. 321 I use masks for seeking. This is a Siberian mask made by a 322 Siberian shaman to evoke the ones who come from the land of 323 Siberia. So I will wear my mask and I will go around in a circle 324 or in my house if I’m wanting to call the Siberian ancestor 325 spirits because they’re very powerful. This particular mask has 326 to do with the healing powers of the man, the male healing 327 powers. This one is for the plant. This is the woman’s, and it 328 has to do with fertility and food and the rains—whatever has to 329 do with abundance for the people. This kind of mask with these 330 very markings has been made for hundreds and hundreds of years. 331 So if I want to seek connection with that then I will use it. I 332 use crystals but in a very particular way. Long ago the spirits 333 taught me that I was to work with crystals only in a very special 334 way and not to get into the whole crystal phenomenology. This 335 particular crystal is a good example. There is a lady that lives 336 in this crystal and you could see her. I seek information from 337 this lady. For example, when we were in Ireland at an old 338 megalithic stone that was hidden in a field, not one of the

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339 stones that’s on your tourist group, I went to the stone and 340 after doing some cleansing and calling and blessing and thanking 341 her, I put this crystal against the stone and I closed my eyes 342 and I listened because I hear as well as see. She does this for 343 healing work for people. She loves to be set on their bodies. She 344 will show me where there’s a pattern of illness or disturbance 345 going on. I only use those two crystals and they have taught me 346 how to use them. I also scout like crazy around the world for 347 whatever is coming out on the Internet that has to do with 348 potential shamanic tools. I’m not looking for just anything; I 349 want to see does it have depth and if it’s a method that the 350 spirits can move through. Before I go to any retreat I consult 351 two of those divination programs. I use an astrology program in 352 my planning to seek guidance from the heavens. Not that I believe 353 that there’s a cause and effect, but I do believe that we’re all 354 one and that there’s some relationship. So I seek to inform 355 myself as much as possible about those relationships through 356 these oracle programs. 357 Mark: How do you receive guidance? What form or forms does it 358 come in for you? 359 003: I think the guidance comes from beings through mainly three 360 basic forms. One is through my dreams, through the dream world. 361 The more I do my practice and walk this path and am gifted with 362 lots of experiences of teaching, the more the dreaming world is 363 the one they come through. It’s a totally unguarded world, so 364 that’s where a lot of guidance comes for me now. Generally they 365 are very, very visual. So that’s a form as well. I hear. I 366 hear the wind because there’s a guidance that comes in the form 367 of the OneWhoWhispers in the wind. That’s what I call her. 368 There’s a whispering that comes and it usually catches me totally 369 unaware. I found that I cannot cause it nor can I control it. 370 It’s like dreams. So there’s a hearing, and there’s a dreaming, 371 and the visual. 372 Mark: Does the guidance also come as an inner voice? 373 003: Oh yes. I call them the impulses of the heart because 374 that’s how I experience the guidance. It’s almost like an 375 impulse, and this particular form of guidance is very active; 376 when that comes there’s a movement involved almost immediately. I 377 hold this particular form of guidance as different from 378 intuition. 379 Mark: How do you tell the difference between guidance and 380 intuition, and so forth? 381 003: When that particular form comes the impulse is hardy, is 382 strong; it’s almost as if God came and sat in my heart and told 383 me something right then and moved me to do it. It’s that clear. 384 My intuition is more complicated and more subtle. My intuition is

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385 like a sensory capacity for me. Intuition is full of sensing, and 386 this is something totally different. I’ll give you a very brief 387 example. I’m in the park; I’m walking with Arusha our dog. This 388 was about two weeks ago and I hear in me, “Remember Yacob, 389 remember Yacob at the base of the tree. Dror needs to see what 390 the new dream is.” This is what I hear just as clear as I’m 391 speaking to you. I pause in my walking and then in front of me 392 there’s a tree with moss around it and then for just a flash I 393 see this form leaning against the tree and I see shapes moving up 394 and down by this form and I seem to know that this is Yacob. Now 395 I don’t know what this means. But I’m driving home and I think, 396 “I’ve got to call Ziva in Israel. I’ve got to call Ziva because 397 Dror is her son’s name, and this is a message for Ziva, and I 398 have to do it right now.” So I called Ziva to tell her what 399 happened and there’s this long pause on the phone. I hear Ziva 400 say “Oh, Carol” and then she’s calling to Eli, her husband. Ziva 401 says “Dror just crashed yesterday in getting his pilot’s wings in 402 the Israeli air force. He had to do his final parachute jump and 403 he broke his leg and the bones around the ankle are all crushed. 404 He’s in the hospital. How did you know?” I said, “I didn’t know. 405 I’m just giving you a message.” Then Eli gets on the phone and 406 says, “Do you know who Yacob is?” I said “No, but I knew 407 Dror’s name.” Then he said, “You’ve probably heard about 408 Jacob being at the base of the tree and about the ladder to 409 heaven and about the visiting of the angels and about him being 410 lame.” Then he goes and gets his bible and starts reading to me 411 on the phone about where his sinew is torn and the femoral and 412 that this is what happened to their son. I’m just astonished. 413 There’s always that sense of awe, always, and there’s a piece of 414 me that says “Carol, you shouldn’t be surprised that the spirits 415 work this way.” But I can’t help it, it’s just always amazing to 416 me how tended we are if we just listen, and how much the spirits 417 help us take care of each other and the whole world if we just 418 listen. That’s how guidance comes for me sometimes, and I always 419 know to act on that. 420 Mark: Have you always been able to discern the differences 421 between the guidance and intuition? 422 003: Yes, I think so. I think I got in trouble at one time 423 because I didn’t know the difference. I had to learn how to share 424 and with whom to share and the ethics of sharing. Now I really 425 have surrendered and trust spirit so much, and they’ve educated 426 me. If it’s intuition I have no problem deciding how or if to 427 share, but if it’s that other impulse of knowing, and there is 428 the command that comes with it to deliver the message then I need 429 to do that. So that’s why I’ve had to separate these. But I think 430 I’ve always known there was a difference; I just didn’t

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431 understand it. I could feel the difference. One really feels like 432 something or some knowledge outside of me came into me. The other 433 is all my instincts, my knowledge, and all that’s in process in 434 me that gets lifted up and out of the depths of me to speak to 435 some situation or person. 436 Mark: What are the obstacles, interferences and/or blocks that 437 can distort or get in the way of guidance in relation to 438 receiving and following? 439 003: That’s a very important question. The obstacles that I 440 have, the Lord knows, are unlimited. If I haven’t checked in with 441 myself and cleansed myself and opened myself then I have an 442 agenda, I have an expectation, and I’m going with a question and 443 I’ve already got my answer hidden, then, in an unclean way, we’re 444 telling spirits what they should tell us. That’s a big obstacle 445 and it’s very subtle. Another obstacle could be that you have not 446 made time in your life to receive whatever guidance might come. I 447 think often we get so rushed that we don’t see how powerful an 448 obstacle that is. So in seeking guidance it’s important to set a 449 pathway for that guidance to come in and also have a doorway that 450 you can walk out of for following the guidance. My experience is 451 that when you walk this path, and I mean this path in the 452 broadest sense—the path of heart, seeking to be, to follow, and 453 to be related to spirit, seeking to receive and seeking to 454 follow—that the spirits come to us in the most blessed way 455 possible. That doesn’t mean in a good way in terms of us being 456 happy or blissful, but the most blessed way possible [Pause for 457 airplane]. I think people really carry the fear or the worry or 458 the concern that “more will be asked of me than I’m able to do.” 459 In a certain way the more we travel along, there are points 460 when this worry is even bigger because we know previously we’ve 461 been asked to do certain things and now we wonder “my God, am I 462 going to have to move again?” or “am I going to be injured 463 again?” So the obstacle really becomes the challenge and 464 opportunity to not carry that concern or that worry with you and 465 to remember that whatever you’re being asked to do or whatever 466 guidance is being given to you, you really can do it, or else you 467 would not have been asked. We will not be given more than we can 468 hold. Another obstacle to me is to think that whatever we receive 469 we have to do alone, and people will often forget to gather 470 helpers. That’s a real obstacle because sometimes we’re given big 471 stuff, blessed be. We think “we” have to carry it out, and we 472 forget to call on helpers, or we forget to further ask for 473 guidance from our helpers, whether those helpers be human or 474 nonhuman. I think the obstacle that’s been important for me to be 475 alert for, in terms of seeking further guidance and knowing where 476 to go next, is that I set up my own obstacle if I don’t search

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477 out and move myself into experiences where I am really a beginner 478 so I can truly have the experience of being in kindergarten with 479 the spirits. I think that there are so many pathways that spirit 480 brings into the world for us, and each one offers so much to us 481 and is so important. People will get onto one path and one way of 482 doing things and start teaching and then the demands of the world 483 come in and then we get caught in those demands, and pretty soon 484 we’re just in a mirror. Our students are just mirroring us 485 because there’s nothing new. I believe that’s a real obstacle, a 486 true obstacle to getting further guidance on your next turning or 487 change. So I try to remind myself once every other month to do 488 something where I’m back in kindergarten. Know that place because 489 then your guidance will come in for you. 490 Mark: I guess when you’re at that place you’re more open to help. 491 003: Yes. When I’ve been at those places my whole vision or some 492 piece of work that’s waiting for me comes through. 493 Mark: How do you incorporate guidance into your every day life? 494 Do you surrender situations into guidance often or occasionally? 495 Is it an integral part of your life? 496 003: There are certain activities, certain practices I do. I 497 don’t want to say sacred practices because all is sacred. But 498 that’s what I’m trying to hold in me is a sense of certain sacred 499 activity that over the years I’ve been shown to do, or discovered 500 their value by doing them. One is always rattling our food. One 501 is that we end our day with a blessing and go into the night in 502 thankfulness. There are certain activities that are part of my 503 daily-ness. 504 Mark: Do you sense that blessing and gratitude open you to 505 guidance? 506 003: Oh, yes. You or someone has presented me with an 507 opportunity. You’ve offered something to me, and you’ve offered 508 something to me since before I came into this world, if you want 509 to talk about spirit. I thank you, and in that process of 510 thanking you offer even more. I don’t mean I expect it, that’s 511 not what it’s all about. But I’m talking about what we experience 512 as humans in the process of thanking. It cheers the heart and 513 blesses the soul. I thank my dog; she knows when I thank her. Her 514 tail wags and she just vibrates more. The thanking before asking 515 is the way to be with God, to be with spirit. To thank before I 516 ask is somehow to acknowledge in me and in circles that “I have 517 always known your blessing. I know you bless me though I may not 518 know that what just happened is a blessing. I know you do.” I’m 519 talking about a relationship with spirit, “I know you bless me 520 and I thank you. I thank you.” Then when the request comes 521 for guidance it follows right under “I know you’ve always blessed 522 me.” For me it’s almost also a way of saying, “I’ve been so

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523 blessed I don’t really need it if you don’t have time.” Somehow 524 that’s what happens in me. 525 Mark: It opens the way? 526 003: Yes. For me it totally unleashes that aspect of us that 527 grasps for the way, that aspect of us that grasps for the answer, 528 and we really become aware that this is the granted way. All is 529 granted. It’s just us finding the framing of how to ask so we 530 know what’s already been granted. I don’t mean predestination. 531 I’m just talking about the whole blessing way. 532 Mark: Do you surrender as part of your process? Do you feel like 533 you surrender to the spirits as an integral part of this whole 534 process? 535 003: I’ve had some struggles around surrender. The experiences 536 for me around surrender have been more on the personal level and 537 the personal practice, and learning what it means. I’ve had to be 538 knocked on the head around this one. I’ve done an annual retreat 539 for about 8 years now in the Mojave Desert, and 4 weeks 540 before they found a very large melanoma in Bob and had to do some 541 major surgery, so he went down there with a fairly deep incision 542 and scared, as was I. When we were in the desert one of the 543 things that we did in our circle one night was a healing 544 ceremony. The spirits’ word to me a few years ago was “In the 545 whole circle, people heal together. Pay attention to the ethics. 546 Teach people to listen and to follow. What you want to do is help 547 people see how to allow the healing spirits to come through them 548 and not get themselves in the way.” So that’s been my teaching 549 these last few years in my practice with people. So here we are, 550 we had done 4 days of being together, we had done an all night 551 together, and I’m saying “okay the membranes of our consciousness 552 are really perforated, and the spirits have ways to come in and 553 if you will let them come in and work through you they will do 554 exactly what’s needed. You don’t even have to hear what’s wrong 555 with someone. That’s already known. It may just confuse you. That 556 may not be what’s wrong anyway.” So we have our circle and I ask 557 for who would wish for some healing work to be done on their 558 behalf that night. Then those people laid down and then the 559 rest of us drummed together and then it just moved. People moved 560 around and maybe two people working with someone, maybe three. So 561 Bob laid down. Now you must understand that the trainings that I 562 got were of two cloths. One is really teaching in an honorable 563 way the Foundation for Shamanic Studies’ techniques and methods, 564 and not departing from those because it’s like a course. Then 565 the other is the path that I’m discovering all the time. So over 566 here I’ve been taught you do not work on family members. The 567 whole point is that the attachment to the other can be so strong 568 and you want the outcome to be such that you get in the way, and

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569 vice versa . . . the person gets in the way because of their 570 relationship with you. So I have this drum, which is my healing 571 drum when I’m healing, and I’m going around and I’m seeking in 572 the dark, because I wear a mask, “where do the spirits want me to 573 come to, to whom, to whom?” So I move around and I work with 574 a couple of people with the spirits. Then I’m continuing to move 575 around and I feel a pull towards Bob. I stop myself and I tell 576 myself, “No, you’re not going to do that. You don’t do that 577 Carol.” So I continue beating and I’m going around the room 578 in the dark. Then I’m on the other side of him and it pulls me 579 again. I look and realize it’s going back to Bob and I’m saying 580 “No, you’re not going to do that, it’s not right ethics.” 581 Remember I’m wearing a mask and I can’t see; I’m seeing 582 invisibly. I stop myself about four people from Bob and I say to 583 myself “You’re not going to do this. All this is because you’re 584 so concerned about Bob and you’re so frightened for him and for 585 yourself, that he’s going to die and very soon.” I’m giving 586 myself a lecture now so that I can go back and work for other 587 people. Then I started beating my drum harder as I’m 588 lecturing myself, and then I entered an altered state and, I 589 swear to God, this big paw lifted the back of the blouse I was 590 wearing and shook me just like I was a little doll, and then 591 moved me across to Bob. By the time I got to Bob it was not me it 592 was a grizzly, and this bear just pounced on Bob, I mean just 593 pounced. Bob flew up, frightened, and this bear just worked on 594 him and worked on him and worked on him. Then suddenly the bear 595 was gone and I was through. I got up and thought to myself “oh my 596 God, what just happened?” We don’t talk about the healing that 597 night, so the next morning we’re in the circle and Bob needs to 598 share his experience of this bear. He starts talking about how he 599 almost heart attacked himself with fear when this bear pounced on 600 him. This bear continued working on him and took out this huge 601 mud pot of fear that was in him. Then he said, “I have never 602 encountered such a large bear,” because he didn’t know or see who 603 was doing it. I’m sitting there and eventually I share for the 604 circle and Bob says, “Was that you?” I said myself “Wow, when 605 the healing powers need to come through you on behalf of another 606 person, don’t you sit and bargain your own stuff.” That was a big 607 surrender number for me. It was not only big in a sense of how 608 hard I was shaking; it was also big in that “if you don’t 609 surrender we’ll shake you.” 610 Mark: Last question. How has following guidance affected your 611 life? 612 003: How has following guidance affected my life? Well, I can’t 613 imagine a more joyful life. That’s come from following guidance. 614 Following guidance has resulted in making huge, major life

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615 changing decisions, from the most personal of my own habits and 616 behaviors to my most intimate relationships. I’ve made these 617 changes and I’ve been scared sometimes. I can remember standing 618 in front of a cave in Montana last year when I was making a 619 prayer before going in and my prayer was “Do with me as you will, 620 but I hope the lessons can be a little gentler.” That was a hope, 621 but maybe I’m a difficult learner or something. Well, just 622 following guidance has been a great feeling of being blessed, 623 blessed and joy, and I want to add one other thing about 624 following guidance. About 4 years ago one of the visions I had 625 when I was down at Esalen, it was a very clear vision in the 626 dream world, had to do with seeing myself moving with others, 627 people of other colors, and moving across different lands. We had 628 candles and we were walking in what looked like old markings that 629 were left behind. It was like a trail across the lands. There was 630 even a little pattern on the Pacific Ocean, and the markings 631 almost looked like the changing lines of I Ching so as we moved 632 our balance was a little different. It was almost like we were 633 doing this very slow dance together. I woke up from that dream 634 and then journeyed and sought more revelation for what this dream 635 was about, and it was very clear to me that my call was to open 636 up to building and creating and sustaining more international 637 circles than those I was teaching in at the time. That I was 638 to take myself to other lands and walk with other people in their 639 paths and their lands, and that that was all part of what this 640 dream was about. So I set aside some of my own income to help 641 support the international formation of a group, the formation of 642 an international group that would tend together and work together 643 and I had no idea what this would look like. First thing I knew 644 there was a little note from here and a little email from there, 645 and what resulted is Tending Sacred Circles, a nonprofit which 646 just got official status this last year. Now see that’s where 647 something came through, life changing, following. 648 Mark: All from receiving guidance. 649 003: You asked me about bear and now I understand. Think of Big 650 Bear, Little Bear and think of her going in in the winter and the 651 cubs coming out. Think of rebirth, think of that whole cycle. 652 That shape and form and that power that was calling me was and is 653 this planet earth, an incredibly beautiful jewel that’s very 654 small in terms of the large cosmos. We are in this together 655 with all beings, and bear is sort of the supreme carrier of 656 wilderness consciousness. She is wilderness; she is as female, 657 the fertile wilderness. She is also the one who loves and who 658 will sacrifice and do anything necessary for her cubs. So Mother 659 Earth is asking of us “Love me, love me the way a bear loves her 660 cubs. Be and know the wilderness that is yours because this is

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661 your promised land. Know the wilderness that is yours within you 662 and here. Protect this wilderness or the wilderness within you 663 will die too and you will not know any wild new unexpected 664 events.” It’s like this was a shape saying to me “Carol, Carol, 665 Carol, Carol do whatever can be done to hold, protect and love, 666 and give birth, think of up and coming generations of my 667 children. Do whatever. This is the covenant I’m asking of you. 668 This is why your life has been spared here by me.” This was my 669 experience with bear way back then. “Do this,” and I said yes. 670 Mark: I’m feeling that it’s time to close. 671 003: You’ve graced us by coming to our home, to our land so I 672 would like to offer a song prayer to you, for you and one for the 673 whole. (Rattling) May you walk in beauty in a sacred way. May you 674 walk in beauty each and every day. Oh may you walk in beauty in a 675 sacred way, may you walk in beauty each and every day. May the 676 beauty of the fire fill your heart’s desire. May the beauty of 677 the rain take away your pain. Oh may you walk in beauty in a 678 sacred way, may you walk in beauty each and every day. May the 679 beauty of this Earth fill your heart with mirth. May the beauty 680 of the sky lift your spirit higher. Yes may you walk in beauty in 681 a sacred way, may you walk in beauty each and every day. Oh may 682 you walk in beauty in the sacred way, may you walk in beauty each 683 and every day. Oh may you walk in beauty in a sacred way, may you 684 walk in beauty each and every day. May the beauty of the Earth 685 fill your heart with mirth. May the beauty of the rain take away 686 your pain. Oh may you walk in beauty in a sacred way, walk with 687 beauty each and every day. (Rattling) I call to the power of the 688 Thunder Beings; I call to the power of the Earth. I call to the 689 power of the East and West. I call to the power of the North and 690 South. Behold the time has come; the time has come to unite as 691 one. Behold the time has come to encircle this Earth with our 692 love. I call to the power of the Thunder Beings; I call to the 693 power of the Earth. I call to the power of the East and West. I 694 call to the power of the North and South. Behold the time has 695 come; the time has come to unite as one. 696 Behold the time has come to encircle this Earth with our love. 697 (Breath)


1 Mark: Let’s start with a meditation. 2 004: This particular meditation is a Niggun, a melodic chant 3 that’s designed to bring one to the center of self. (Melodic 4 chant . . . ) 5 Mark: Now we begin with the first question: Could you tell us of 6 a personal experience that you’ve had with seeking, receiving, and

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7 following divine guidance? 8 004: The story that comes my mind is with a young woman who came 9 to me as a client a couple of years ago. She had been involved in 10 a relationship that didn’t go well and she came to me trying to 11 get a handle on what happened to the relationship and how this 12 could be resolved. In going through the process of talking about 13 the relationship what began to show up in the conversation was 14 that there was something more than the relationship involved. She 15 had connected with a young man, who was from a different 16 spiritual tradition and who turned out to be not very present. 17 The problem was she was placing a great deal of emotional 18 investment in the relationship, though there was nothing coming 19 back in the other direction. When we started working this out it 20 became clear that the problem that she was having was imbalance. 21 She was putting all of herself into the relationship. However, he 22 either was unwilling or more likely incapable of putting anything 23 into the relationship, because he wasn’t really present. No 24 matter what one’s intention is, you can’t really be in a 25 relationship if you’re not there. One of her patterns appears to 26 have been going into one-sided relationships. She kept getting 27 involved with people that were not willing or able to give 28 anything back. Then it dawned on her, in the course of our 29 work together, that this was because part of her wasn’t there. 30 The people she was attracting were a reflection of a deficit in 31 herself. What we realized over the course of our discussion, was 32 that what was missing was connected to the fact that a lot of the 33 people she was involved with were people from other spiritual 34 traditions. That led eventually to the realization that she had 35 disconnected herself from her own tradition and on that level she 36 wasn’t there. When we delved into why she wasn’t 37 there, what began to emerge was the realization that for 38 differing emotional reasons she was angry with God. Once we got 39 to that point, there was a major break through because she began 40 to feel that her not being present was really based on not 41 feeling connected to God. She had the feeling of not being 42 connected to God, because her anger had created an obstacle in 43 that direction. After that realization, she went through a whole 44 process of spiritual transformation in a very short time. That 45 led her to reconciliation with God and a desire to move back into 46 her own spiritual tradition. This insight had a very distinct 47 transformative effect. It opened the floodgates. She was finally 48 coming home. 49 Mark: Actually, what I would like to know is your own personal 50 experience of seeking, receiving, and following, how you connect 51 with God and receive guidance. 52 004: I have always felt very closely connected to God. That was

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53 never an issue with me. The search, in my case, had more to do 54 with figuring out what to do about it. Having a connection is one 55 thing, operating the connection is something else. That has 56 constituted the search from my standpoint for most of my life. 57 Over the years, I’ve had a very close working relationship with 58 God because I’ve actively worked at it. It’s something that’s 59 very important to me, because my sense has always been that 60 developing my relationship with God is my primary objective in 61 being here in the first place. I really don’t know where it came 62 from, but the concept that the whole purpose of being alive is to 63 develop spiritually has been with me since childhood. To develop 64 spiritually without a close working relationship with God seems 65 difficult at best, so I’ve always looked toward increasing the 66 dialogue between God and myself. That has taken a lot of 67 different forms over the years. 68 Mark: What forms? 69 004: I’ve been into prayer and contemplation ever since I was 70 about 5 or 6 years old. I was led into meditation when I was 71 in my early 20s. I’ve always assumed that prayer and 72 contemplation are simply ways of communicating with God. That 73 understanding led me to a practice, which came to me in my early 74 adult years, that I call dialoging with God. I realized, when I 75 was in my late 20s or early 30s, that among some of the 76 great Hasidic masters it used to be commonplace for them to sit 77 down and have a chat with God, the same way you and I are 78 talking; to simply talk to God and express what you’re feeling, 79 what you’re thinking, what you’re upset about, what’s bothering 80 you, that sort of thing. I connect the concept of dialoging with 81 the idea of prayer and contemplation. They are three sides of the 82 same triangle of communication with God. In my 20s, I added 83 meditation to the structure because I came to another 84 realization. It became clear to me that developing a closer 85 relationship with God also involves coming to terms with oneself. 86 The route to God is also the route within. They are two parallel 87 roads . . . if not the same road. I’ve always relied on keeping this 88 open communication with God as a continual guidance system for 89 almost all of my life, particularly, my adult years. Attempting 90 to open oneself up and harmonize one’s own personal will with 91 God’s is a concept that’s very prominent in Kabbalistic thought. 92 It’s also very apparent in other mystic traditions. It’s very 93 clear in the Christian mystical tradition, and to a certain 94 extent even in the nonmystic tradition of Christianity. The way 95 I’ve come to understand this is to try and reach a point where 96 I’m being myself. I’m allowing myself to spiritually evolve and 97 to become more and more comfortable with who I am and what I need 98 to be doing in the world. At the same time, I seek to harmonize

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99 with what God wants, which is basically that I be who I am and 100 not something else. So I’ve tried to keep that balance through 101 meditation, contemplation, prayer, and simply being open. I’ve 102 tried to remain fluid, to get rid of all the old constructs. That 103 is the other factor that’s helped me a great deal in terms of 104 receiving from higher levels and being guided from above. The 105 ego has a very strong facility for creating all kinds of belief 106 systems and structures, and basically that’s a healthy function 107 as long as the structures remain flexible. They remain flexible 108 if they’re really understood and operated as vessels. If the 109 structure that you have is designed to receive light from another 110 level, be influenced by it, and find a way to utilize it, then 111 structure is very important as a vessel. If structure becomes 112 rigid, it becomes a belief system or it becomes a dogma, and I 113 don’t mean that in just a theological sense—we create dogmas 114 for ourselves all the time. As soon as we start creating a 115 structure of belief within ourselves that’s fixed, then we’re 116 impairing the light that we’re receiving because we’re trying to 117 get a round or triangular or oblong disk to fit into a square 118 box. It doesn’t really work, because if you do that you’re 119 crushing the original form. So, I really feel that divine 120 inspiration, divine guidance, involves being open to receiving 121 light from the higher levels, and being willing to put ego into a 122 secondary position where its job is to interpret what’s going on 123 and not to define what’s going on, which I really feel are two 124 very different things. 125 Mark: Could you talk some more about how you experience this 126 reception of light? When you dialogue with God, do you speak to 127 Him inside your head? 128 004: Or sometimes out loud, either way. God hears you one way or 129 the other. 130 Mark: How does God respond? 131 004: God responds in different ways. I really feel a lot of what 132 comes from a higher level comes on the intuitive plane. It comes 133 as a series of feelings, instincts, and insight. That’s one way 134 that I get answers from above. For instance, if I meditate on 135 something I don’t necessarily expect that I’m going to hear some 136 voice say, “Here’s the answer . . . .” When Moses was walking by 137 the burning bush I’m not altogether convinced that God said “Hey 138 you, come here,” and that it was an audible voice. It was more 139 like something that comes over you and alters your understanding 140 or your perspective, and puts you in a different time and place; 141 which I think is a clear indication of when you’re receiving 142 something from a higher level. When you get this sense of deep 143 peace, a sense of tranquility, a sense of being in sacred space 144 and a sense of timelessness; when you know something and it’s on

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145 the heart level, and it’s not on the intellectual plane, then 146 it’s coming from a higher plane. I find this happening a lot in 147 response to meditation, contemplation, or dialoging. It takes me 148 out of mundane, everyday reality and puts me in a very holy place 149 that’s very palpable to me. The direction or guidance comes in 150 what I’ve come to understand as a result of the experience. I 151 think in meditation things often work in terms of a delayed 152 reaction, particularly when you’re dealing with any higher level 153 of consciousness. For instance, the medieval concept that when a 154 person is asleep the soul is actually leaving the body and going 155 to higher levels of consciousness may very well be accurate, and 156 to me that’s always explained what happens in a dream. It 157 occurred to me years ago, that if the soul leaves the body and 158 moves to much higher levels of consciousness, you’re going to 159 levels of consciousness that are beyond the physical plane as we 160 normally experience it. Now, if the soul is retrieving nonverbal 161 information or high level information that comes very directly, 162 which is not our experience in physical form, then when the soul 163 reenters the body it’s a real effort for our neurological 164 structure to handle that information. It has to be translated 165 down, so to speak. I feel that, this is often what dreams 166 represent. The process of dreaming is the brain taking an 167 experience that is much broader than itself, and then 168 reformatting it in a way that becomes more consciously accessible 169 to our neural patterns, to our thought processes, to the way we 170 experience things in waking life. So a dream is like a 171 translation process, taking all this information and stepping it 172 down. The dream may endure only 18 seconds, but on another level, 173 you’re doing all this heavy-duty work processing the information 174 for hours or days. That’s what I mean by a delayed reaction. I 175 think the same thing happens in meditation. It’s not uncommon for 176 people, when I’m training them in mediation, to say, “Well, 177 nothing happened when I meditated.” I observe groups very 178 carefully, when I’m working with them. Very rarely, do I have 179 people fall asleep or pass out unconscious or anything like that. 180 They’re generally in very deep states of meditation to one degree 181 or another. Yet, people often don’t perceive that. That’s because 182 they were at a place higher than they expected to be. If they’re 183 at a level where they’ve moved out of their body, in a sense to a 184 level of consciousness that’s way beyond what we normally 185 experience, then what they’re going to experience on a sensation 186 level is similar to a black out. As a result, they come back to 187 full waking consciousness and think that nothing has happened. Of 188 course 45 minutes have gone by, but they think that 189 nothing has happened. It’s been my experience and the experience 190 of people I’ve worked with, that it takes time for the mind to

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191 absorb what actually happened while you were meditating. The 192 understanding and the information gathered will start showing up 193 gradually, in pieces, over time. You may get an insight, which 194 shows up 2 or 3 days later. All of a sudden, your whole 195 perspective on something in your life changes and you really 196 don’t know how this occurred. To me that’s a delayed reaction 197 from the experience of being on another level. This experience is 198 one of the ways of knowing that there’s an influx coming in from 199 above and that one is receiving it and working with it. 200 Personally, I get these “ahas” or changes of perspective. 201 Suddenly, I find myself knowing things that I don’t remember 202 knowing 2 days ago, and that’s how I gauge the depth of my 203 meditation. 204 Mark: Do you ever have experiences of guidance where you have 205 visions or where you see or you hear something, or is it mostly 206 this intuitive sense? 207 004: It works both ways. A lot of times information comes to me 208 in dreams. When I do Tarot readings for people, and I’m focusing 209 on the cards and the card patterns, I will start seeing very 210 clear images, pictures, and things like that. My experience is that 211 these are not random pictures but rather they’re highly symbolic 212 pictures that are trying to impart a whole range of information, 213 and I’ll often translate that into analogies for people when I do 214 readings. 215 Mark: Are there other tools and practices that you use to seek 216 guidance for yourself and for others, and also to prepare 217 yourself for receiving? 218 004: Again, meditation works very well in that area. Something 219 I’ve learned over the last couple of years is what I call 220 “touching base with the inner centers.” I’ve realized that there 221 are four “consciousness centers” within us. We’re often used to 222 dealing with some of them but not all of them, and very rarely do 223 we deal with all of them at the same time, even if we are aware 224 of them. The four centers, as I see them, are the intellectual 225 center, the emotional center, the physical center, and the 226 instinctive center. These correspond to the brain, heart, body, 227 and guts. For some reason, in order for me to get in touch with 228 where I am physically involves either moving into the solar 229 plexus or moving into the region of the feet. I guess this has to 230 do with my sense that physical means being grounded. For the 231 instinctive center, I generally go to the area of the liver, 232 spleen, and the guts themselves. The heart is the emotional 233 center, and the third eye appears as the gateway to the brain 234 center. To summarize it, the four gateways are the third eye, 235 heart, solar plexus, and feet. When there’s something I’m trying 236 to resolve in my own mind or something I want to prepare for, I

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237 make it a practice to systematically touch base with all four 238 centers and find out what’s going on there. I try to balance 239 their energy so they’re all resonating with each other. In terms 240 of touching base with them, I generally go through the gateways 241 to each of the centers and then ask myself a specific question. 242 When I go into the third eye center I ask myself “What do I think 243 about this, or what’s going on in my thoughts?” Then, I go to the 244 heart center and I ask myself “What am I feeling about this, what 245 am I processing emotionally, or what am I going through 246 emotionally?” This is a whole different question, though for 247 many years I never realized that there was a difference between 248 the two. On the instinctive level my question is “What am I 249 intuiting about this and what am I processing here?” Finally, at 250 the physical level it’s simply a matter of asking, “What effect 251 is this having on me as a person?” Not just on the physical level 252 but in general. So, it’s important to me to touch base with all 253 four centers, to find out what’s going on at all four levels, and 254 then to do some sort of meditation to balance the energy so as to 255 get them all resonating within each other. I feel that this is 256 what brings a person optimally to the point of being able to 257 receive. If the inner centers are all in harmony with each other 258 and they’ve all been cleared out of any kind of debris or 259 residue, then there’s nothing clogging the channel, so to speak. 260 Mark: How do you discern what’s coming from this higher Source 261 and what’s coming from the ego and the personality? 262 004: I think the best way I could phrase this is that it has to 263 do with the sense of silence and the presence of peace. If 264 something is coming to me, I completely go into a silence mode. 265 There’s a great comfort in the silence and a strong sense of 266 peace, then this is coming from a higher level. If there’s a 267 sense of movement, agitation, commotion, or you’re not 268 comfortable with the silence, then this is coming from somewhere 269 else. That’s probably the clearest way I can express it. 270 [Bathroom break for Mark] 271 Mark: Let me get the camera going . . . (We were talking about what 272 obstacles appear) 273 004: I would say there are several things that people do that 274 create blockages or obstacles to receiving from other levels. I 275 think one of the biggest obstacles is where one is focused. If a 276 person is focused on their problems, they get two major obstacles 277 showing up: emotional turmoil or fixation and mental gyration. If 278 the mind and the emotions are not sublimated, they can be major 279 interference factors. There’s an interesting story that comes 280 from Jewish Midrash that illustrates three of the major obstacles 281 to connecting with God. As the story goes, the prophet Elijah was 282 interested in hearing God’s voice. So he goes out and retreats to

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283 a cave in the desert to contemplate. Not long after he goes 284 inside the cave, there’s a tremendous windstorm that develops 285 externally, one that gets ferocious. The wind is howling, blowing 286 up a sandstorm, ripping vegetation out of the ground, and he is 287 overwhelmed by its fury. Elijah feels that he should be able to 288 hear God’s voice within this display of commotion and power, but 289 as he strains to hear God’s voice he realizes that it’s not 290 there. At this point, the windstorm dies down. The windstorm is 291 then replaced by a firestorm and now there’s this enormous fire 292 going on outside. The heat is so enormous that he can’t stand it. 293 He can’t breathe and he has to retreat deep into the cave. Elijah 294 feels that he should be able to experience God’s voice in the 295 sheer intensity of what’s going on. However, the approaching heat 296 only becomes suffocating and he realizes that the voice isn’t 297 emerging there either. At this point, the firestorm stops and is 298 replaced by an earthquake. Now the whole cave is rattling and 299 rocks are coming down. He’s terrified, afraid for his life, and 300 feels totally overwhelmed. Elijah feels that he’ll get to hear 301 God’s voice in this sense of overwhelm, but in essence all that 302 happens is that he gets more and more overwhelmed and finally 303 realizes that God’s voice isn’t coming from the earthquake 304 either. Then, finally there’s dead silence and within the total 305 silence he hears a small voice inside himself and realizes that 306 this is the voice of God. I feel that the three storms represent 307 the most common interference patterns that prevent us from 308 hearing God. These are also the three obstacles that one 309 encounters in the early days of learning to meditate. The 310 windstorm, in my opinion, deals with mental turbulence, the mind 311 interfering. If a person is beginning to have spiritual 312 experiences or connect with higher realities, one’s perception 313 changes dramatically, and the ego and/or the mind will click in 314 and try to tell you that this isn’t real, that maybe you’re 315 losing it, or what you’re experiencing isn’t really happening. It 316 will try and redefine what you’re experiencing in terms which 317 are comfortable to the mind. Allowing the thinking process to get 318 involved is a major obstacle. For instance, I’ve encountered 319 people with PhD’s in mysticism who were as far away from being a 320 mystic as anybody I could think of. They had all of the doctrines 321 down straight and they understood the history, but that’s all. 322 These are all mental constructs that have absolutely nothing to 323 do with mystical experience, because the first thing a mystical 324 experience does is blows all that stuff away. So if one is vested 325 in thinking and “knowing,” then you’re blocking the channel. A 326 very famous scientist who knew Carl Sagen and had a great 327 admiration for him was asked why Carl Sagen didn’t believe in 328 God. The scientist’s response was “Carl was a brilliant man but

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329 he never stopped talking” and that he didn’t believe in God, 330 largely because he never gave God a chance to talk. The question 331 isn’t “Why doesn’t God talk to us?” The question is “Why aren’t 332 we listening?” I think the second problem is illustrated by the 333 firestorm. If a person can get past all the intellectual mumbo 334 jumbo, then they have to deal with the emotional storm. The 335 emotions can be very intense and it’s that intensity which can 336 interfere with the reception. The only way you can pour something 337 into an empty glass is if the glass is empty. If the glass is 338 full or half full it’s impossible to pour something into it, 339 because you’ll either pollute what you’re pouring into it or 340 there’s simply no room. You have to be dealing with an empty 341 clean vessel in order to pour something into it. You have the 342 opposite situation when you’re going through emotional chaos or 343 intense emotional discharge. Emotional turmoil, fear, or things 344 of that nature can become all-encompassing and basically take up 345 all space, in which case there is no room for the reception of 346 anything from a higher level. Sometimes the firestorm is even 347 more difficult to get past than the windstorm, but assuming one 348 can get through that barrier then the ultimate problem is the 349 earthquake. The earthquake is what happens when the higher 350 experience finally begins to hit. The earthquake is the 351 destruction of one’s belief systems. All of a sudden, you’ve hit 352 a higher level of consciousness and everything you used to think 353 and everything you used to believe is not only called into 354 question but rather discredited, destroyed, and annihilated. This 355 can be an extremely unnerving business for a lot of people. Their 356 whole frame of reference is completely demolished and they are 357 forced to be completely open. It’s this very sense of 358 vulnerability that impels one to create defense systems. This 359 also interferes with a flow of energy from above. That’s the 360 disadvantage of having a mental construct. If the ego has created 361 a very strong conceptual box, then it’s impeding the energy flow. 362 It should be receiving and adapting to what’s coming in and not 363 trying to force the flow into an existing belief system or 364 structure. People often feel extremely vulnerable and frightened 365 when dealing with the loss of the old structure. So, in my 366 opinion, those are the main obstacles to receiving from above. 367 Another issue is where one is focused. If one’s total attention 368 is focused on the material plane you shut out a lot of influence 369 from the higher realms. One needs to be focused on the higher 370 plane in order to be able to receive from it. You’d be surprised 371 how common a mistake this is. For instance, one of the things 372 that was continually stressed throughout Hebrew biblical 373 literature was that idolatry was an anathema. Idolatry was 374 contrary to connection to God, because idolatry was the worship

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375 of that which is physical, and if that’s what people are doing, 376 they’re moving the wrong direction. This fixation on the physical 377 plane is the other major obstacle. If one is totally preoccupied 378 with survival, then the realm of the spirit gets shut out. It’s 379 really a matter of focus. The statement or the concept that’s 380 reiterated over and over again in biblical literature is either 381 you believe in idols or you believe in God. It’s an either/or 382 business, one direction or the other direction. You can put your 383 faith, focus, and total attention to dedicating your life to 384 survival and to worshipping the material plane, or you can 385 reverse direction, focus on God, and achieve higher consciousness 386 and develop spiritually. It is one or the other. The two are 387 mutually exclusive. That’s not to denigrate physical life, but 388 rather to put it in its proper context, much like what has to be 389 done with the ego. I don’t believe that the ego is supposed to be 390 obliterated. The ego has a very natural and extremely important 391 function. It identifies who we are and it makes it possible for 392 us to exist in the world. Without ego we’d be vegetables. I don’t 393 think that was God’s intention. I believe that we’re supposed to 394 evolve and develop as individuals, and that the ego is designed 395 to facilitate that, if used properly. If one is focusing on the 396 higher realms and receiving from above and the ego’s job is to 397 work with what is received, then spiritual development is 398 furthered. If, however, one is focused on the ego and makes the 399 ego the master of the house, then there is going to be no influx 400 from above because the roles are reversed. 401 Mark: Could you touch on the obstacles involved in following the 402 influx? If the ego is supposed to be interpreting and following 403 it, what are the processes and obstacles to following guidance? 404 004: Here again it’s very clear to me why historically in many 405 spiritual traditions people went through years of training to 406 learn discipline in order to be able to receive. The survival 407 impulse pushes us in the direction opposite of where we actually 408 need to go. So one has to relearn a lot of things. In order to 409 effectively move towards evolution, the ego has to understand 410 that its position is secondary to the self. Human beings have the 411 tendency to think that our ego “is” who we are, and that is a 412 gigantic obstacle because it is a huge distortion. The ego is an 413 aspect of us; it is not us. The first thing a person has to learn 414 and understand is that the ego is really a secondary function. 415 Expression of ourselves and being in touch with our inner selves 416 is who we really are, and the ego is simply meant to facilitate 417 that. If one puts great emphasis on ego, then they end up losing 418 touch with who they really are. Then the mask becomes the reality 419 and the person becomes negated. First, one really needs to always 420 operate on the assumption that the ego’s job is simply to

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421 facilitate self-expression. It’s a mental and a spiritual focus. 422 I call the ego “the great facilitator.” My intent in life is to 423 get in touch with what I feel God wants me to be doing, instead 424 of trying to determine for myself what I need and what I want. 425 This requires a very distinct change in focus. Part of this 426 process involves a constant self-examination, where one 427 constantly has to monitor what’s really going on in their own 428 lives. One has to learn to reflect on life, rather than analyze 429 everything. The propensity to analyze and rationalize is another 430 major obstacle. The function of thought really should be to 431 reflect on something, to evaluate things, and to learn, rather 432 than to critically analyze everything and feel that everything 433 has to be dissected and defined. From time to time those 434 functions are necessary, but that should not be the norm. They 435 should be just one set of functions, which come on line as 436 needed. But for a lot of people that becomes the dominant reality 437 and it interferes with the learning process. Making judgments, 438 oddly enough, also interferes with the learning process. It’s the 439 learning process that leads to spiritual evolution, not defining 440 everything or passing judgment on everything. 441 Mark: How much do you incorporate seeking, receiving, and 442 following guidance into your life? Does that include the concept 443 of surrendering to the guidance? You talked about how your main 444 thing is to know what God wants of you instead of being in 445 survival mode. Is that surrender? 446 004: The term “surrender” is used in literature all the time and 447 I wish there was a better word for it. In Jewish thought, the 448 term surrender is never used, fortunately. Basically Judaism 449 talks a great deal about Devekut, which literally means 450 “adhesion.” What they’re referring to is adhering to God. The 451 idea is that this is where our conscious focus should be. In 452 Hebrew literature they also often talk about doing something 453 LeShem Shamaim, which means “for the sake of Heaven” or on 454 Heaven’s behalf. This refers to adopting a viewpoint and a life 455 style in which what you’re doing is always being done with the 456 intent of connecting it to a higher level. This is not surrender. 457 Surrender implies helplessness and to me that is the opposite of 458 what God is really looking for. God is looking for a partnership 459 here and not a surrender. The term “surrender” bothers me because 460 people misinterpret it sometimes. They think surrender means 461 they’re to give up responsibility for everything and let God do 462 it. I don’t think so. The message I’ve always gotten at least 463 from Jewish literature is the opposite. What God is constantly 464 interested in is that we’re increasingly cognizant of our 465 responsibilities and of the ramifications of what we do. In a 466 sense this parallels Indian thought or Eastern thought which puts

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467 a great deal of emphasis on understanding karma and being very 468 alert in one’s life to the consequences of one’s actions. To me, 469 that is what submission to God really is. It’s more a 470 harmonization with the higher levels and with God than anything 471 else. 472 Mark: Thank you . . . The only other question I have is . . . what are 473 the fruits of this journey of following guidance? What are the 474 fruits that we experience? 475 004: We achieve our purpose in life by accepting guidance. If 476 we’re in touch with higher levels at all times, if we’re 477 receiving guidance from above, if we’re connecting with God, then 478 we’re also evolving as souls. The more evolved we become, the 479 richer our experience becomes, and in a sense the more fulfilled 480 the soul becomes. You’re then functioning as a soul and not as an 481 animal struggling to survive, which are two very different 482 realities. On a lesser level, one experiences a sense of peace, a 483 sense of internal tranquility and quiet, a stronger sense of 484 self, and a stronger sense of one’s purpose and direction. 485 Mark: Would you like to share a closing of some kind, a prayer or 486 niggun? 487 004: Actually I’d like to close with the singing of a song that 488 comes from the last line of one of the most famous prayers in 489 Jewish liturgy. The line in English says “May God who makes peace 490 in the highest levels send peace to us and the entire world now 491 and always.” I feel that that is the ultimate state of spiritual 492 functioning, when one is in a place of peace. (Hebrew song—Oseh 493 Shalom Bemromov . . . ) “May God who sends peace to all the highest 494 realms send peace to us, to the entire world now and always,” and 495 we say amen. 496 Mark: Thank you very much. 497 004: You’re welcome.


1 Mark: The first thing I’d like to begin with is experience, your 2 own personal experience with the process of seeking, receiving, 3 and following divine guidance. If you could speak of an 4 experience or two that you’ve had? 5 005: I prayed about this and asked whether or not to share 6 something that’s very personal. It is the origins of my call to 7 religious life because it has been my foundational experience. I 8 was 21 years old living in Los Angeles, dating the world, with no 9 thought what so ever of ever becoming a nun. I came home from a 10 date. I’m sure my date and I were in Hollywood, probably dancing 11 to Glenn Miller or someone like that. It was about 2:30 in the 12 morning. I went to my bedroom and all of a sudden I was enveloped

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13 in an experience that was, in later reflection so clearly God and 14 I knelt down beside my bed. The clarity is still present to me, 15 the clarity of “this is what God is inviting me to do; to give my 16 life to God”; and I wanted to do it, even though I had never ever 17 thought about it. The experience was most unexpected. It was 18 sudden; it clearly brought me to my knees. The over flow of tears 19 was right there. It had a clarity about it that has stayed with 20 me all these years. That was the foundational experience of 21 guidance for me and I often use it as an experience against which 22 I can measure other experiences in terms of guidance. “Is it in 23 harmony with this or disharmony?” It’s also like a river flowing 24 deep within me that I could dip into at anytime and say “Here I 25 am again God and I am so clear about your wanting me for 26 yourself.” I felt claimed by God and I continue to feel that. 27 This gift is not for myself, it is for the world. I know now that 28 clearly this experience was a visitation of God. I don’t 29 understand it. It is beyond my understanding, but it has given me 30 light and a sure foundation and clarity about what I’m about. 31 Mark: Beautiful. Could you talk more about what the experience 32 felt like when you went into your room and had this experience? 33 005: I want to say again it was sudden and it was unexpected. To 34 put feeling words on it I would say it was extremely consoling. 35 That’s a word from our tradition “consolation.” I felt filed with 36 consolation, with peace, and with light. Now these are all later 37 reflections because when you’re in the experience you don’t have 38 that awareness, you’re simply in it. I just remember I fell to my 39 knees beside my bed. I was there a long time, and glad to be 40 there. I woke up the next morning with that kind of consolation 41 and peace again. It moved into a feeling of clarity and strength 42 and a lot of courage. I think of “au courage,” “to put fresh 43 heart into . . . .” I felt like God had put fresh heart into me to do 44 this, that I was to give my life to God this way. 45 Mark: When you had this clarity, did you have it as a thought or 46 did you hear a voice? How did it come to you? 47 005: No, it was not a voice. There was something about the 48 experience; the very experience revealed to me that this is what 49 I’m to do. I knew it in the experience. I just knew from the felt 50 experience. I knew through my feelings that this is what I was to 51 do and some light was given to me. This and my own subsequent 52 experiences of God have not been in words. They have just been 53 these unasked for visitations. 54 Mark: Are these visitations more like a feeling of presence? 55 005: Yes, profound presence; yes, it was presence, the presence 56 of God. 57 Mark: You felt the presence? 58 005: Absolutely. I felt the presence; I knew it was God. There

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59 was no question in my mind that it was God. It was the presence 60 and the presence left me feeling consoled, extremely happy, and 61 very free. I was free to tell people and to take the next steps, 62 despite everybody saying, “Oh, Mary Ann this is not for you. What 63 do you mean? You’re just beginning your life.” I was studying 64 music in Hollywood, voice and piano. I was on a track, and then 65 this came. 66 Mark: Would you say that the presence communicated your calling 67 in and of itself? 68 005: I think the presence communicated the direction I was to 69 take. It was just sudden, spontaneous, and clear. 70 Mark: Do you have a sense of any experiences or processes that 71 led you to that point or was it really sudden? 72 005: No, I don’t think so. I came from a very religious family in 73 a sense. My mother went to mass every morning. During part of the 74 3 years I was out of high school I was in New York. I was in 75 love with a man at West Point and was there about 6 months. 76 Then I came home and continued my study of voice and piano, never 77 with the thought of religious life. I prayed and would go to 78 church. I remember even in New York trying to go to church every 79 day. I liked to go to church. I found it a very supportive place 80 for where I was in my life. I think I just intuited that from my 81 mother and just lived it. Only later did I realize I was doing 82 that and how much a part of my life it was. It was not uncommon 83 for me to kneel down before I would go to bed at night and pray, 84 so maybe that automatic response came from my having done that 85 before. But I never had a thought of a religious life. If anybody 86 had said that to me I’d of said, “You’ve got to be kidding.” 87 Mark: But you did have experiences where you spoke to God? 88 005: Oh yes, praying was not unfamiliar to me. I remember going 89 to the Catholic chapel at West Point everyday. That was very 90 meaningful for me and I prayed there on weekends . . . a little bit. 91 Mostly though I was just having fun. 92 Mark: [Pause, trouble using remote control] After that 93 experience and heading into the calling that you were called to 94 do, did you have more experiences like that? In terms of feeling 95 the presence and being guided personally? 96 005: I had experiences of God. I don’t know that I would say 97 they were all guidance. I could share one with you that was like 98 a sudden light that gave me guidance. I had been at a staff 99 meeting and I came across badly. I was pushing my point with a 100 lot of feeling and strength, and I clearly wanted my way about 101 this particular agenda item that we were talking about. When it 102 was over I immediately thought, “oh, I know I have come across 103 very poorly here.” There was a man on our staff that I care a lot 104 about and I went to his office to explain what I really meant so

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105 that I would come across okay. The meeting was over and I headed 106 down a corridor, and right about in the middle of the hall I had 107 an experience that I could only say was piercing. It was a 108 painful piercing experience. At the same time it was consoling 109 and it brought clarity and light. Tumbling down before me came 110 all of the behaviors in which I had engaged to protect my own 111 self-image. Of course I did not go to his office. I went into the 112 back of chapel and just dealt with that profound sense of “oh, I 113 have been living this way for years, wanting people to think well 114 of me and wanting to be well-liked.” It was very, very searing 115 and very purifying. It made me take note of those behaviors and 116 it gave me guidance in terms of how I could catch myself doing 117 that, and that never left me. It was clearly guidance around my 118 behavior that was not loving, that was not selfless. I was very 119 focused on myself and not concerned for the world where I wanted 120 my focus to be. Now it’s an ongoing kind of purification for 121 which I’m really grateful. That hallway is holy ground; it’s very 122 holy ground for me. 123 Mark: Have you also had experiences in which you actively sought 124 guidance? 125 005: Yes, I have sought guidance. One of the things I do in my 126 own practice of spiritual direction is a kind of current 127 expression of the Hebrew word “haggada,” or “keep it purring on 128 your lips,” and what I keep purring on my lips is from chapter 129 nine in the Book of Wisdom of the Hebrew scriptures, “wisdom of 130 God be always at work in me.” When I’m sitting there realizing 131 that I don’t know what to do next, I don’t know what to say even 132 as an experienced director, I haven’t a clue what’s going on, and 133 I don’t know what spirit is moving here, God’s good spirit or 134 some other spirit, I lean back into God and do an inner purring 135 on the lips of my heart “wisdom of God, be always at work in me.” 136 In praying this way I am given what to do next, not that 137 everything becomes clear, but I would know the next step; to say 138 something, or be quiet, or come at it this way, or knowing that I 139 have to take this to supervision, or I have to pray more about it 140 afterwards, or whatever. That’s a practice that I’ve interiorized 141 and I use it a lot. 142 Mark: When you’re doing that practice, how does the guidance come 143 to you? 144 005: I think about something first, it comes in my thought 145 processes. I have a thought about what to do and it’s in harmony 146 with my affect, and so I either continue to be quiet or I say 147 something. I become very unselfconscious. One of the fruits of 148 that is that I’m very engaged in conversation and not thinking 149 about myself. When I don’t know what to do I fall back on myself, 150 I’m self-conscious. I wish I could live in that unselfconscious

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151 way all the time. That’s one of the fruits of that prayer; I’m 152 not thinking, I’m just knowing that God is there; I’m engaged. In 153 later reflection, if you asked me what I did at the time I 154 probably couldn’t even tell you, only that it seemed right and it 155 left me grateful. 156 Mark: That brings us to the question of discernment. How do you 157 discern what is from God, from guidance and what isn’t? 158 005: I think discernment is a way of knowing. My understanding of 159 discernment is making discreet, sifting through all my inner 160 affections to come to know that which is most in harmony with who 161 I really am, my most authentic self and the spirit of God living 162 and dwelling within, and which feels in disharmony. I come to 163 know in two ways: one is by intuition, which is a way of knowing, 164 (I think I am highly intuitive) and more often than not it is a 165 matter of sifting through my feelings. I’ve come to honor my 166 feelings and believe that they’re eminently trustable as long as 167 I stay in harmony with my authentic self and where it is that 168 God’s good spirit is living in me, where I feel at one with God 169 versus what feels in disharmony. I try to pay attention to what 170 doesn’t feel like it’s really of God. At the end of each day I 171 try to sift through it all and say what felt in harmony with God 172 and what didn’t. 173 Mark: What are the qualities of the harmony experience? 174 005: I keep using the word “consolation.” It’s from our 175 tradition; it’s a word that’s used in the spiritual exercises of 176 Saint Ignatius, which I know well, and the rules of discernment at 177 the end of the exercises. Consolation is courage, it’s very 178 loving, it’s a feeling of being loved and wanting to love and 179 wanting to be loving. There is also peace, although sometimes the 180 consolation is both piercing and consoling. It’s not incompatible 181 with that. Joy is a big criterion for me. “What’s going on Mary 182 Ann, that you’re not happy?” If I can stop and move back to where 183 that moment was, that movement away from happiness. Joy means 184 something very very deep to me; it’s not on the surface like I’m 185 just giddy all the time or something like that but a deeper kind 186 of joy. I believe God wants us to live from joy. Those would be 187 some qualities of that consolation. The other movement would be 188 desolation, a kind of darkness. I don’t mean darkness because of 189 the absence of God but just darkness because I’ve moved away from 190 that joy. Personally I feel irritable or restless. Those are not 191 the words that Ignatius uses, but those would be the words I’d 192 put on it from my experience. That does not feel in harmony with 193 me, with who I know myself to be. 194 Mark: That brings me to another question. What practices and 195 tools have you used, and do you use to prepare yourself to 196 receive guidance? You were talking about being able to reach your

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197 authentic self. Do you have practices to get you there so you can 198 receive? 199 005: Certainly a commitment to an ongoing life of prayer, my own 200 practice of prayer, and my faithfulness to that, which is not 201 always easy. As I mentioned, at the end of the day I try to 202 reflect back over the day and look at where did the real movement 203 of God seem to be and how did I respond to it? I’m only going to 204 know that by how I am feeling at the end of the day when I stop 205 to do that. I’ve come to believe the only way into how I am at 206 any given moment is how I’m feeling and I try to really pay 207 attention to that. I’ve come to respect my feelings and to own 208 them and to know that they give me a lot of information. So at 209 the end of the day I try to really pay attention to that and if 210 I’m not too tired, to look back at where the shift was. “What 211 happened that I felt that I was living with such spontaneity and 212 freedom and joy and unselfconsciousness, and that I’m not that 213 way now?” The sooner I can identify that the better it is for me. 214 (I don’t know why the tears are coming back.) This practice at 215 the end of the day is very important to me and if I can do it 216 before the end of the day I’ll stop and do it because I have to. 217 Also, being in spiritual direction is very important to me. I 218 couldn’t do spiritual direction if I wasn’t meeting at least once 219 a month or more with my own spiritual director. It’s where I can 220 put everything out and have someone else help me to objectify or 221 help me explore something that I was not aware of because I’m 222 blind and I don’t always see. I don’t like living from that other 223 place, I don’t think it’s in harmony with the foundational 224 experience that was given to me for the world. 225 Mark: Could you talk a little bit about the experience of 226 following your guidance, including the obstacles to following and 227 the fruits of following? 228 005: One of the greatest obstacles to following is not taking 229 care of myself; getting too stressed in my work, taking on too 230 much, and trying to take care of the world—everybody that’s in 231 my world. So I get fatigued, my brain gets scrambled, which means 232 I don’t have that clarity, I don’t think clearly, and I don’t 233 always pay attention to my own needs for time off, just for a day 234 when I’m going to do nothing. That’s very hard for me. The good 235 sister of mercy is always working and we learned that well . . . when 236 in doubt work! I think I got it from my father who was a 237 perfectionist and then I came to my community where you had to 238 try to do everything perfectly. Not taking care of myself is 239 still a great cutting edge for me because it moves me immediately 240 away from that place of being able to be in touch with the 241 guidance and being able to follow it. When I’m tired and 242 emotionally fatigued and spent I can’t get in touch with that.

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243 But I can go like that for days before I will really recognize 244 what I need to do. I have good friends that help me saying, 245 “Mary Ann, what are you doing, what is this?” That’s very helpful. 246 I need that supportive presence of friends and family to call me 247 to be more than I am. 248 Mark: Have you experienced obstacles after you’ve received clear 249 guidance? Is it easy to follow guidance? 250 005: It’s not always easy. Obstacles come in the form of 251 doubting. Thoughts come that make me doubt the guidance that I 252 received. “Was that really from God? Is this really what I’m 253 supposed to do?” I think the spirit that works against God’s good 254 spirit starts in my thought processes and I begin to doubt, and 255 it’s always very reasonable or I wouldn’t be attracted to it. It 256 plays out in my affect and it doesn’t fit but I can go with it 257 for sometime before I pay attention to the voice and live inside 258 of the voice. That’s why I need friends, and that’s why I need a 259 spiritual director, and that’s why I need to take time at the end 260 of the day and longer periods of time, so I can get in touch with 261 that voice. I don’t want to make it sound like it’s all really 262 easy and smooth sailing because it’s not. 263 Mark: And the fruits from following that guidance? 264 005: The biggest fruits of following the guidance that’s given 265 to me are freedom, spontaneity, and unselfconsciousness. I have 266 the desire to live unselfconsciously. When I’m in harmony with my 267 authentic self and the guidance that I’ve been given, I’m most 268 unselfconscious, I think I’m at my best, and I can live freely 269 who I am. I think I have a sense of humor. I think I am called to 270 live spontaneously and freely. 271 Mark: Could you talk about the notion of surrender and how that 272 process fits into this idea of guidance, this life of guidance? 273 005: I’d like to relate the question of surrender to a movement 274 that was clearly God’s guidance to begin an organization called 275 Spiritual Directors International. Through the 80s I had been 276 aware of the need for networking spiritual directors. I taught in 277 the seminary and I was on the board of an organization of 278 spiritual directors that was only for people who taught in 279 seminaries. I knew there was this need for all these directors 280 that were outside of the seminaries and it kept nudging at me to 281 do something. I had a very good friend who kept saying “Mary Ann, 282 when are you going to do something for spiritual directors?” 283 “Me?” I said. There was a real struggle with God around this. 284 “Start an organization? I wouldn’t even know where to start.” The 285 urging inside of me to do this and the urging of this one friend 286 who would not leave me alone, came together and I said to God “I 287 will take this first step.” That was a real moment of surrender 288 for me because I had struggled for 4 to 5 years, “ I don’t

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289 have to do this, I’m not the one to do it, how come somebody else 290 doesn’t come forward . . . .” Then the moment came and I said yes to 291 God and I said, “I will do this much. I will call people across 292 the country, seven people that I know, ask them if they would be 293 on a committee to begin to look at is there a need for such an 294 organization.” It just took off and now we have the organization. 295 It’s 10 years old with 3,200 members from all over the world and 296 we have a journal and all of that. I knew that it was right but 297 it was very, very hard to do. Something helped me to let go. I’m 298 not sure what, except I just continued to try to pay attention to 299 that inner nudging. I knew that it was God and I had to just let 300 go of “I don’t know how to do this” and all of that. Just let go 301 of it and just start. Then it moved along. That was a moment of 302 surrender to me. 303 Mark: Do you consider surrender an important part of the 304 guidance process? 305 005: Yes, because if you receive the guidance and it’s clear, 306 you’re either going to go with it or not. Once you know, it’s 307 clear. Sometimes you have to get that kind of clarity through 308 spiritual direction or by talking to a good friend to sort 309 through these things. That is the invitation. For a woman claimed 310 by God, I have no choice really. Ultimately, it’s probably that 311 very tender place where my desiring self and my resisting self 312 meet and I cannot not surrender or I wouldn’t be who I am. 313 Mark: (After a pause) Looking back on your personal experiences 314 and in your experiences with others, could you talk about the 315 whole process of seeking, receiving, and following guidance in 316 terms of any patterns that you see in the experience itself? 317 005: Certainly, the guidance is not initiated by me, even if I 318 am seeking it. I think even in the seeking of the guidance God is 319 already at work in that. Part of the pattern would be the seeking 320 and the praying and/or those incredible moments of God just 321 coming and seeking me. Then there’s the response. Once it’s clear 322 that you’re seeking it and you’ve received it, then there has to 323 be a response. The response is either to go with the guidance or 324 to go against it. God leaves us free; God leaves me incredibly 325 free to go with that or not, and I see the same thing in the 326 people that I direct. Then I check the fruits of that. “What do 327 the fruits seem to be? Do they seem to be in harmony with both my 328 and other’s authentic self? Are they experiencing themselves as 329 themselves and is God present there? Do they seem to be in 330 harmony with that or in disharmony with that?” It’s praying, 331 receiving it, responding to it, then checking the fruits of that, 332 and finding out also if I am continuing to respond. 333 Mark: Are there times when you receive guidance but it’s hard to 334 be clear about what it means?

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335 005: Sometimes it is so clear, but if I can’t know on my own 336 that this is of God, I need to check it out with somebody because 337 it’s not clear. I’m making decisions all the time and if they’re 338 more major or they’re going to really impact the life of another 339 person or the world and it’s not clear, then I would have to ask 340 for clarity. I’d continue to pray but I’d ask somebody else. I’d 341 put it out as honestly as I could and say, “Help me to explore 342 this.” I seek somebody else to help me with it because I’m blind. 343 Some day I will see clearly when I see God face to face, but on 344 this side of that there are blind spots and I want to follow what 345 God wants. 346 Mark: How has following guidance affected your life? 347 005: In an overall sense I believe following God’s guidance has 348 brought me to be most who I am. I think that is what God wants; 349 his “Will” for us is to be our true authentic selves, to be who 350 God has made me to be. The guidance strips away anything that is 351 false or illusory, that is not truly Mary Ann. Now that doesn’t 352 mean that I’m really my true self yet, I’m still on the way, and 353 I think will always be. I think following guidance has helped me 354 to become most who I am and to freely live the gifts that I have 355 been given. I think I’ve been given many gifts and I have to be 356 able to live them for the world, they’re not for me. Very closely 357 related to that is to say a little bit more about living the 358 gifts that I have at the service of the world. Following the 359 guidance is always so that there can be more love in the world 360 and more healing and more life, because I believe every time I 361 surrender to the guidance the world is different. In some 362 mysterious way it happens. It’s all about loving. If I’m more 363 myself, if I’m more loving, there’s more love in the world. The 364 world is different in that sense and that’s true for everybody. 365 So much of what I do is helping people to become most who they 366 are and I believe that’s what God wants. If that incredible image 367 of God that God has put in each of us is lived, then there’s more 368 of God revealed in the world. To be of service to that is what 369 I’m talking about . . . however it happens. I’ll leave that to God; 370 it’s beyond me how it happens. 371 Mark: Thank you. I wonder if there’s anything else you feel 372 you’d like to say? 373 005: Well, it’s been quite an experience doing this. I think I 374 touched into things I did not expect. That it’s okay for whatever 375 reason. It’s okay; I can let it go. 376 Mark: If you feel so moved I’d like to close with a 377 meditation or a prayer if you feel one to offer. 378 005: Let’s sit in silence for a couple minutes. (prayer) So 379 gracious God of this moment I pray your blessing on Mark, on 380 Sarah and the new life that you have given them, and bless Mark,

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381 guide him as he is putting his dissertation together so that it 382 can be for so many people a light to their eyes and a lamp 383 to their feet. Amen. 384 Mark: Amen. 385 005: That’s it. (Laughter) 386 Mark: Thank you so much. 387 005: You’re welcome.


1 Mark: Could you share some of your own personal experiences of 2 seeking, receiving, and following divine guidance? 3 006: As you phrased the question it reminded me of other words 4 that I use for the same basic notion. I talk a lot to high school 5 kids and I say to the kids you need to do three things. You need 6 to create the kind of space in your life that will allow you to 7 dream your dream. Then when you get your dream, you need to have 8 the courage to follow it. Then thirdly, in the pursuit of 9 your own dream, you need to have the sensitivity not to trample 10 on other people’s dreams. So a part of me is seeking God’s 11 guidance, and finding God’s guidance, and listening to it, and 12 following it through. It’s creating the space in which it can 13 happen. I think that God speaks to us in many different ways 14 sometimes when we least expect it; but if we want to regularly 15 access the Divine Will, it’s about creating the kind of space in 16 our lives where that can happen. Then having the courage to go 17 forward when you think you’ve got your dream and the sensitivity 18 not to trample over other people. 19 Mark: Actually let’s take a moment to actually create the 20 atmosphere you’re talking about. If you feel moved to share a 21 prayer or a meditation we could start with that. 22 006: God our Father and our Mother, I believe that even cameras 23 are part of your plan, that everything that happens to us is 24 purposeful and fraught with possibilities. So I ask you that your 25 Spirit be with us in our conversation today and with Mark and the 26 course of his dissertation, that he bring into the world 27 enchantment, into the world one other way of listening to you and 28 accessing you. I ask you to bless him, bless his family, bless 29 his work, bless his dreams, and bless our conversation today. 30 Amen. 31 Mark: Thank you. 32 006: Part of my answer before I get into details has to do with 33 my own cosmology. More and more over the last 10 years I’ve come 34 to the conclusion that God doesn’t have a will for the world, 35 none whatsoever. God is in a position to know that ultimately all 36 of us are going to realize that the only thing that works is

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37 love, no matter how many lifetimes it may take us to reach that 38 realization. Therefore I don’t think God is up there biting her 39 fingernails wondering, “gee, are the 49ers going to beat the 40 Cowboys today?” or whatever. When I think about God’s will, I 41 think God has only one will for planet Earth, and that is that 42 faced with any decision, major or minor, that I do the loving 43 thing. As far as the details of it, I don’t think God is 44 concerned whatsoever. So when I think about praying for divine 45 guidance I’m not so sure that I’m praying to some kind of a 46 theistic god, some kind of a personalized god. I think much more 47 that I’m trying to bring focus and vision to what I call my own 48 preconception contract; that before we came in we entered into a 49 drama of life and we’re just discovering what the plot is and 50 what our lines need to be and how to respond to it. In thinking 51 about God’s will, I’m not thinking of some kind of divine figure 52 sitting in the sky looking at His script and wondering if I’m 53 going to get my lines right. Rather this God is saying, “Whatever 54 unfolds unfolds. Have you got the courage to respond to it with 55 love?” So I’ve gone from a very theistic notion of God who 56 definitely has a specified will for everybody and every 57 circumstance to a belief system in which I think that God’s only 58 will is that I act with love. Some of the guidance incidents that 59 come up for me come from various stages of that. The first thing 60 that comes to mind was around my 40th birthday. I had lived in 61 East Africa, in Kenya, for 14 years and was thrown out by 62 the government for work I was doing in social justice. I knew I 63 wasn’t going to get back into Kenya, so I spent 1 year in 64 London. At this stage I was having fairly major soul searchings 65 going on, so I went into Jungian therapy for a year and paid a 66 lot of attention to my dreams. I’ve always been a prodigious 67 dreamer, but at that period of my life I started recording all of 68 my dreams, and in a 9-month period I collected over 750 69 dreams. I was working with these with my analyst and at the 70 beginning of the analysis I had a lot of really powerful dreams 71 where I was searching for guidance as to the next phase of my 72 life, having been trained as a Catholic priest, performed 73 missionary work in East Africa, no longer able to go back there, 74 and wanting to rethink my whole value system. So I had a lot of 75 really powerful dreams, which I recorded and prayed about, 76 meditated on, and graphed mathematically. My undergraduate major 77 was mathematics so I would literally graph the archetypes 78 appearing in my dreams against occurrences of my daily life to 79 see if there was any kind of correlation between what was 80 happening outside and what was happening inside. I spent 3 or 81 4 hours everyday working on my dreams, and that provided a lot 82 of insight for me as to where I wanted to go. So I wound up

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83 coming to the United States and doing a doctorate in psychology 84 at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, and for the first 85 time in my life coming across practitioners of the great 86 spiritual traditions of the world: Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, 87 Buddhism, and being really influenced by those. I had a 88 theoretical knowledge of a lot of these things, a book knowledge, 89 but I had never really met practitioners of it. So listening to 90 my dreams was a really really powerful way for me to make an 91 appeal to my perception of God at the time and getting responses 92 via the dreams as to what I needed to do, and then trying to have 93 the courage to go ahead and follow through and make the kinds of 94 changes I did. 95 Mark: In that process, did you feel a presence? 96 006: God has always been very very real for me since I was a 97 small child. I remember my first fight with God was at the age of 98 4, and this sounds really Jewish. Judaism has a great 99 tradition of arguing with God, beginning with Abraham. At age 100 4 I lived with my grandparents. My grandparents raised me 101 until I was 7 years old; I was the first of six kids. My 102 father was the eldest of his family, so I have one uncle who’s 103 two months younger than me. Both my mother and my grandmother 104 were pregnant at the same time and my mother won by two months. 105 So my uncle and I were raised like twins in a little house in 106 Cork City. We were very poor and didn’t have a whole lot of gifts 107 or presents. I remember on my fourth Christmas writing to Santa 108 Claus. In Ireland the system was you wrote your letter and then 109 fed it up the chimney so the hot air would bring it up the 110 chimney and then straight to the North Pole. I’d written to Santa 111 Claus that I wanted a gun and holster for Christmas and Christmas 112 morning there’s a gun and holster under the little Christmas 113 tree. I’m absolutely ecstatic and I strap on my holster, put in 114 the gun, and go outside. There’s a neighbor’s kid across the way 115 whose father was an engineer, so by our standards he was really 116 well off, and he’s got a big leather belt and a big heavy metal 117 gun and I’ve got this little cloth holster and a little dinky 118 gun. I’m looking at his gun and I can’t believe it. He takes out 119 his gun and goes “bang, bang, gotcha.” I put my gun back in the 120 holster and I walk back home really pissed. I said to my 121 grandmother, “Why is it that even God and Santa Claus 122 discriminate against the poor?” and I took off my gun holster and 123 threw it down and said, “That’s it.” That was my first fight with 124 God and that’s how real God was for me. God is more real to me 125 than you are right now because in some sense all physical life is 126 just a manifestation of the spiritual dimension in which God 127 resides. When I’m dealing with other human beings, it’s like 128 there’s a space suit talking to a space suit; it’s somebody, some

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129 essence in there but it’s sometimes inaccessible; but when I talk 130 to God I know there’s no space suit there, there’s nothing that 131 gets in the way. So when I’m working with my dreams or when I ask 132 for guidance and working with that guidance, the conversation for 133 me is more real than this conversation here today. 134 Mark: When you say conversation, do you hear God? How do you 135 receive it, in what form? 136 006: It always appears to me as spontaneously generated ideas, 137 or feelings, and something even deeper than feelings. There’s 138 another kind of language, the language of the soul for want of a 139 better word. It’s almost as if ideas and words are the language 140 of the mind, and feelings or emotions are the language of the 141 heart, but the soul itself has a language, which is deeper than 142 all of these things. I don’t know if it’s what Carl Jung defined 143 as intuition, as perception via the unconscious, but it appears 144 to me that sometimes the responses come through ideas, sometimes 145 they’ll come through a feeling tone, and very often they’ll come 146 from a really deeper place, a kind of equanimity which is much 147 deeper than mere ideas or just feelings. 148 Mark: How do you discern between that presence and other 149 internal voices and feelings? 150 006: It’s a real discernment process, a real fine-tuning, 151 because my ego is alive and well and fairly active. I’m always 152 trying to discriminate between “is this what I would like to 153 believe” or “this is what really needs to happen?” Over the last 154 2 years when I was in Kenya, I was in conflict a lot with 155 government people and politicians because I was taking the side 156 of ordinary people and social justice. Sometimes they would quote 157 a proverb to me in Swahili that says, “When two bulls fight, it’s 158 the grass that suffers.” If you’ve ever seen bulls or elephants 159 fighting you know that they’re pawing the ground furiously, so 160 they really tear up the ground. This politician and myself were 161 going head to head at public meetings, and it’s the little people 162 in the middle that often get caught in that kind of skirmish. 163 Although I really felt like I had justice on my side, once we got 164 into the conflict then ego kicked in. So for me it’s always a 165 struggle to figure out how much is ego at work and how much is 166 this really soul knowledge. There are a few criteria here. I 167 think common sense is a basic one; I don’t think God has ever 168 asked us to do radically stupid things, although sometimes he may 169 ask us to do inexplicable things or things that don’t quite make 170 sense. So common sense is one test. I think the scriptural 171 traditions of the world are a good test; you can gauge it against 172 similar circumstances with other traditions. Running ideas by 173 friends, particularly people whom you trust or holy people or 174 wise people. Testing it to my dreams. As I said I pay a lot of

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175 attention to my dreams. I often take stuff into my dreams, asking 176 for an answer in what we call incubating dreams, where I set 177 myself a task before I go to sleep and say, “I’d like a dream to 178 address this issue that I’m wrestling with. I’m not going to 179 dictate to You what the form must look like or what symbols You 180 might come up with, but here’s the idea I’m wrestling with, can 181 you give me some dream that might address that issue?” The acid 182 test is “Is this going to make me a more loving person and a 183 deeply loving person, or is this just going to make me a more 184 effective person by the world’s standards?” 185 Mark: Do you have some practices that help you to tune in to 186 guidance? 187 006: Well, I’ve been meditating for about 35 years, so meditation 188 has always been a profound part of me. As a Catholic priest the 189 Eucharist has been an extraordinarily profoundly transformative 190 experience for me. I’ve been saying mass every day of my life for 191 the last 27 years. I can really say that for me whenever I 192 say mass it really takes me to a wholly different place. That’s 193 the way I check in on a regular basis to an experience of the 194 numinous or the spiritual. I do a lot of reading. I spend a lot 195 of time on my own. In Africa I lived in really remote areas. I 196 have a little cabin up in the forest and I spend Monday, Tuesday, 197 and Wednesday there every week, so I spend a lot of time trekking 198 the forest. I love to watch animals and insects just doing their 199 shtick and drawing lessons from that. These are ways in which I 200 try to nourish myself on a regular basis. 201 Mark: Do you have the sense that there were experiences or 202 forces that led you to seek guidance in your life? 203 006: Being born in the Republic of Ireland, which is 95%, 204 Catholic, Catholicism was a really powerful influence in my life. 205 Catholicism became equated for me with spirituality. As a young 206 child, a boy, and as a young man I really believed that the 207 Catholic Church was the way, that it was God’s chosen path and 208 that the Pope was God’s representative here on planet Earth. As a 209 young priest going to Africa, I was going to go and bring light 210 to these people who were in darkness. In Africa I very quickly 211 began to realize that the African people in some senses were much 212 more spiritual than I was because their spirituality wasn’t 213 confined to liturgy or to a scriptural tradition or to an 214 authority structure, it just permeated every aspect of their life 215 from their cattle to their seasons to their understanding of 216 nature. I began to realize that there are many many paths up the 217 mountain. That was a big eye opener for me. Initially my way of 218 looking for guidance would have been through Catholic structures; 219 I would have been looking to Catholic tradition, Catholic 220 scriptural understanding, and spiritual direction from other

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221 Catholic priests. Subsequently I began to try to access the 222 wisdom in many different ways, from wise old men and women in 223 Africa, and from mythology. I’m really fascinated by mythology. 224 Strangely enough my grandfather was probably the nearest thing to 225 a Celtic druid that I’ve ever come across. I was 10 years old 226 before he died. He was a great storyteller, great musician, and 227 great dancer. Mainly what I remember about him was the great 228 connection he had to pre-Christian Celtic mythology, and he 229 filled my head and my heart and my soul with many of these great 230 epics from pre-Christian times. When I went to Africa, it’s like 231 that world began to awaken again for me; I began to hear many of 232 the same motifs and archetypes in African folklore and proverbs, 233 so that became a whole other interest for me and a whole other 234 way of accessing the numinous. When I came to this country and 235 got into ITP, there was another interesting shift for me; coming 236 into contact for the first time with practitioners of all of the 237 other great spiritual traditions and seriously wrestling with the 238 idea of reincarnation and the ramifications of that 239 theologically, sociologically, and psychologically. Funnily 240 enough, I lived with three different tribes over 14 years in East 241 Africa and they all had a belief in reincarnation. It wasn’t the 242 kind of theologically articulate notion like in Buddhism or 243 Hinduism. It was much more a notion that the ancestors came back 244 when a little baby was born into the village. One of the elders 245 of the tribe would take the little child in his or her arms and 246 start naming off the names of the ancestors of this baby who had 247 died. When the child sneezed they’d name the child after the last 248 name that was named before the child sneezed. This was the 249 ancestor who’s come back and the child would be given the name 250 accordingly. They had a belief in reincarnation but it wasn’t a 251 very esoterically or theologically articulated model, so I took 252 it as part of the culture but didn’t pay that much attention to 253 it. Now, for the first time at ITP, I was looking at 254 extraordinarily sophisticated models of reincarnation, 255 particularly the Hindu model, and what that might mean 256 sociologically, historically, theologically, and psychologically; 257 and over a period of 2 or 3 years coming around 180 degrees to 258 the realization that it makes the most sense of all to me 259 theologically, sociologically even. It affords me the best answer 260 of all to the most vexing theological question, the question 261 that’s called in theological literature, the theodicy question, 262 “Why do bad things happen to good people?” In my opinion there is 263 no answer to the problem of evil which is as good as the answer 264 of karma and reincarnation; I don’t know of any other model that 265 addresses it as well. Here was an extraordinary insight that has 266 very significantly impacted my own thinking as a psychologist and

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267 my own thinking as a theologian and as a priest and has become 268 really important to me over the last perhaps 8 years as a 269 method of accessing information, or as a belief system or a 270 cosmology. 271 Mark: How has that impacted how you seek guidance? 272 006: Part of the problem of seeking guidance, it seems to me, is 273 that we seek guidance but we unconsciously set up a template 274 through which the guidance must flow. It’s like if I’m praying to 275 a god who’s a patriarchal god and I get guidance, it’s very 276 difficult for God to be other than be a patriarchal god if the 277 template I’m imposing on the data is going to be patristic or 278 patriarchal. So, if the template that I put up is a template that 279 we only live once, we only pass this way once, then a lot of the 280 guidance is unfortunately going to be interpreted accordingly. 281 When you begin to use different templates, you get different 282 models, and if you use sufficient templates, you come to the idea 283 very quickly that the templates are problems that limit what you 284 can find. I sometimes say if I went into an inner-city and took a 285 bunch of kids who had never seen the night sky unpolluted by 286 light pollution, without these neon lights all over the place, 287 and I took them up to my cabin in the middle of the forest and I 288 asked them to view the night sky, but I took a piece of cardboard 289 and cut a circle out of it and said, “Okay, hold this piece of 290 cardboard up and look up and tell me what you see,” obviously the 291 first kid’s going to say “Oh, I see all these lights and the 292 entire group of lights is in the shape of a circle.” Obviously 293 the template I impose on the data is going to determine what’s 294 going to come through. So by having, being exposed to a 295 sufficient number of theological systems or cosmologies, I get the 296 opportunity of cross-fertilizing. I think the same thing 297 obviously is true about any model of reality whether it’s a model 298 of physical sciences or an educational model or a medical model 299 or an agricultural model or a theological model; the model we 300 create unfortunately makes a template through which we then start 301 viewing the data. Casting about for different models allows us to 302 cross-fertilize and ultimately to dispense with the models and 303 begin to see the data for themselves. I think all the great 304 teachers realize this; taking for instance that great Jewish 305 Rabbi Jesus Christ. When he spoke of the kingdom of heaven in 306 Matthew’s gospel, he uses perhaps 25 different images of the 307 kingdom of heaven. He talks about the kingdom of heaven like a 308 sower going out to sow seeds on his farm; he talks about the 309 kingdom of heaven as a fisherman throwing his net into the ocean; 310 he talks about the kingdom of heaven as a woman baking bread; he 311 talks about the kingdom of heaven as a king going to war; he 312 talks about the kingdom of heaven as a man going on safari and

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313 putting somebody in charge of his property, and he always starts 314 off by saying “The kingdom of heaven is like . . . .” He never says 315 “the kingdom of heaven is” because that would create an ontological 316 connection between the metaphor and the reality, so he never does 317 that. He’s always saying, “The kingdom of heaven is like . . .” and 318 therefore if I give you enough metaphors you obviously will come 319 to the conclusion that it’s not any of these things 320 ontologically; that these things are just kind of symbolically 321 grasping one element of it. By looking at sufficient metaphors 322 and getting what some of the constituent elements might be, we 323 begin to realize that any one of the models isn’t able to contain 324 all the data. At this stage I’m accessing it as a Catholic 325 priest, I’m accessing it as somebody who’s deeply interested in 326 Buddhism, as somebody who has a fairly good knowledge of Judaism 327 and Islam and Hinduism; I try to access all these models at this 328 stage and then try to cross fertilize and create what I call a 329 personal cosmology. I think when I’m looking for guidance my 330 search itself needs the context of a cosmology. Although a 331 cosmology, ipso-facto, is limiting, I need some kind of a home 332 base out of which to operate. Every time I get guidance hopefully 333 I can tweak my cosmology a little bit or move my model some. 334 Mark: [Pause to adjust microphone] Could you talk about the 335 obstacles that you experience and that seem to be there between 336 you and the guidance in terms of seeking it and also in terms of 337 following it? 338 006: The very simple answer to both parts of that question is 339 ego. Part of me knows immediately that I don’t want to ask for 340 guidance because I think I might get an answer I don’t want to 341 hear; and if I get an answer I don’t want to hear I might not 342 want to follow it. Ego gets in immediately, but there’s even a 343 place before ego. There’s a great story in Carl Jung’s 344 autobiography where he talks about wrestling with an idea that is 345 trying to force itself into his consciousness at about the age of 346 12. He knows at some level that it’s going to really upset him if 347 he lets it in, so at some kind of preconscious level he already 348 knows what it is but consciously he doesn’t yet know what it is 349 except he knows when it comes in it’s going to prove really 350 disturbing. He knows it has to do with God and therefore it’s 351 going to involve some kind of blasphemy. His father is a Lutheran 352 minister as are several of his uncles; so here’s a kid steeped in 353 the Christian religious tradition who is now preconsciously 354 entertaining some kind of a blasphemous idea and totally 355 struggling to keep it out of consciousness. Finally after 3 356 days struggle, he can’t hold it back anymore, and the idea comes 357 into full consciousness. It’s an image of God sitting on a throne 358 above the cathedral in Basle and dropping a turd on it. It just

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359 devastates him, totally blasphemous. In some sense I think that 360 is the struggle we all go through. There’s some part of me that 361 suggests to me, “You’re liable to get an answer you don’t want 362 and therefore it’s going to be a real hard thing to follow.” So I 363 try to have the courage to say “You know even if I don’t like the 364 answer I’m going to hear, maybe at least I need to ask the 365 question and allow it to come in?” I find this kind of a 366 preconscious censor that gets in there, which won’t allow stuff 367 to come in, is a very powerful dimension to the human psyche. 368 That’s the first obstacle. When that obstacle is let go of and 369 then you ask for divine guidance, all the great spiritual 370 traditions say that detachment is one of the most important of 371 all the virtues, the ability to work with any outcome. Well, that 372 becomes difficult because there are some outcomes we don’t want 373 to deal with. I work a lot for instance with people who are 374 terminally ill, cancer patients. I’ve created a kind of six-stage 375 model of prayer that I use when I’m helping them create their own 376 cosmology around their illness. The first stage of all prayer is 377 meditation, because prayer is about asking for something whereas 378 meditation is about aligning myself with God, so the first stage 379 of prayer should be alignment. It should be getting me into God’s 380 space so I learn to ask for the right things. If I don’t meditate 381 before I pray I’m much more likely to ask for ego things. If I 382 meditate before I pray I’m more likely to be in alignment and 383 therefore to ask for the right kinds of things. That’s why I say 384 stage one is to meditate. Stage two is when I think I’m in 385 alignment and I think that this is an okay thing to ask for, then 386 I pray for what I want. The third stage is to work to make it 387 happen. There’s a great Islamic saying “Pray to Allah, but first 388 tie up your camel.” I’ve got to do my piece. I’ve got to do my 389 piece whether it’s accessing my resources, psychologists, medical 390 people, friends, or whatever it is. Stage four then is 391 detachment. I’ve meditated, I prayed for what I want, I worked to 392 make it happen; now there’s been a specific outcome. I have to 393 work with the outcome even if I don’t accept the outcome as a 394 final outcome. At least I have to work with this temporarily, and 395 this is where the detachment comes in. In stage five I say to 396 people you go back now and on the basis of the outcome begin to 397 fine-tune your mediation. In stage six you have to realize that 398 you’re not a human being having occasional spiritual experiences, 399 you’re a spirit being having a human experience; therefore 400 everything that happens to you is okay. You have come from God, 401 you rest in God, and you go back to God, so whatever the final 402 outcome of this illness is, it’s okay. There’s detachment at two 403 stages, so for me then the second biggest obstacle after allowing 404 stuff into consciousness is to have the courage to work with the

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405 outcome. At least I have to accept this and say, “Yes, this is the 406 outcome I need to work with now. Maybe in working with this 407 outcome things will change and there will be finally a different 408 outcome, but for the moment this is where I’m at.” 409 Mark: How has following guidance affected your life? 410 006: In so far as I’ve consciously sought and followed guidance, 411 it’s made huge differences and has been a very important part of 412 my life. Between the ages of 16 and 18, during my last 2 years 413 in high school, I was beginning to think about what to do when I 414 finished high school and the notion of being a Catholic priest 415 began to surface for me and following that guidance was 416 important. I was really embarrassed about it. I was a real good 417 athlete and the idea of being a Catholic priest felt to me like a 418 real wimpy thing to do. I didn’t tell any of my schoolmates until 419 I finished high school, and I didn’t even tell my parents until 420 3 months before I finished high school. At that stage I was 421 seeking guidance a lot through prayer. I’d go to church on the 422 way to school every morning and spend a half hour in church, 423 coming home from school in the evening I’d spend about an hour in 424 the church, so I was seeking the guidance in prayer on a regular 425 basis, an hour to an hour and a half a day on my way to and from 426 school. That was a crucial stage. In Africa, when I was leaving 427 Africa, wondering what I was going to do, seeking guidance 428 through meditation practice, through looking at my dreams, and 429 then having the courage to make a break with my own religious 430 congregation. They wanted me to go back to some other part of 431 Africa or go to Rome to study scripture, and at that stage I had 432 been accepted into ITP to study, so I literally broke ranks with 433 them. I came to Heathrow Airport on the 23rd of June 1987, walked 434 up to the Pan Am desk and asked if there was a standby ticket 435 available for San Francisco. I got aboard the plane and I had no 436 idea where I was going to spend the first night. I had enough 437 money for 6 months of school fees and I had no idea what was 438 going to happen after that, but I was completely convinced from 439 working with my dreams and meditations that this is what I needed 440 to do. Here was another radical change for me, which the guidance 441 gave me the courage to do. I had no idea where I was literally 442 going to spend the first night, but I knew I had to do it, 443 otherwise I couldn’t live with myself. 444 Mark: You talk about using prayer and meditation to seek 445 guidance. What form are you using to seek? 446 006: What makes prayer a success? Now the scientist in me says 447 that’s very simple; prayer is successful if it accomplishes the 448 stated intent. A mystical definition of prayer would say 449 something totally different. The mystics would say that prayer is 450 effective if it accomplishes God’s will not my will. The

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451 difficulty is how do you define successful prayer. Well, the world 452 sees successful prayer, particularly intercessory prayer, as that 453 which accomplishes the stated outcome. That’s why you want to try 454 and differentiate between prayer and meditation. I don’t quite 455 actually believe that that’s what real prayer does; but 456 simplistically speaking, prayer, that kind of prayer, 457 intercessory prayer, is about accomplishing my agenda, whereas 458 meditation is about accomplishing God’s agenda. When I’m talking 459 about guidance, I’m trying to utilize both modalities, prayer and 460 meditation. What am I doing when in the prayer mode? I’m using 461 mental language; I’m formulating concepts; I’m creating 462 scenarios; I’m marshaling feelings; and I’m trying to envision 463 specific outcomes. The meditation mode would be very different. I 464 would do a meditation by just totally clearing the mind; not so 465 much contemplation of particular biblical passages or specific 466 words of God, but just a total clearing so as to get into 467 alignment. I find in meditation that it’s relatively easier for 468 me to let go of ego; in prayer it’s harder to let go of the ego 469 because I’m “futuring,” creating scenarios, conceptualizing, 470 formulating words, and indicating agendas. 471 Mark: When you’re praying for guidance are you asking for 472 something like “show me the way?” 473 006: At this stage of my life, I tend to rely much more on 474 meditation than on prayer; or the kind of prayer I do would be 475 much more like the prayer of Christ, that kind of prayer, the 476 prayer “Thy will be done.” I think Christ got it very very 477 beautifully. He taught his devotees one prayer whenever they 478 complained to Him. They said “Look, the Pharisees teach their 479 students how to pray, John the Baptist is teaching his students 480 how to pray, we see you praying all the time, but you never tell 481 us about prayer, so teach us how to pray.” He taught them this 482 very short little prayer with seven lines in it, which I divide 483 into two pieces. The first is about alignment with God and the 484 second is about asking for what we want. Christ is saying what I 485 said in my model. He says, “When you pray here’s what you need to 486 do. You need to say: Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be 487 your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done on Earth as it is 488 in heaven.” Christ is saying if you really want to pray the first 489 thing you need to do is to glorify God, praise God, and to get 490 into alignment with God, because when you’re in that space then 491 what you ask for will be what God wants for you. So the first 492 three parts are about getting into alignment with God. Then He 493 says, “Okay, you’re spirit beings having a human experience so 494 you have needs. So there’s four needs you have: Give us this day 495 our daily bread, forgive us our sins in the same way that we 496 forgive those who sin against us, do not lead us into temptation

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497 but deliver us from evil.” He’s asking for four things but look 498 at it, 75 % of what you’re asking for is a recognition of the 499 fact that you’re spirit beings having a human experience; they’re 500 addressing your spiritual needs: The need for forgiveness, the 501 need for the ability to overcome evil, and the need to not be 502 sucked into temptation. You are having a human experience and 503 therefore have bodies so you need bread. Bread means all the 504 things that the body represents not just physical food. Christ is 505 saying “yes, you do need physical things but even when you pray 506 for your needs realize that although you’re having a human 507 experience you’re spirit beings having a human experience and 508 therefore 75% of what you ask for should recognize that fact.” 509 More and more the kind of prayer I do at this stage of my life 510 when it’s distinct from meditation, is very much again trying to 511 be in alignment with God and trying to recognize the fact that I 512 am basically a spirit being so that my basic needs are spiritual 513 needs. I’m having an incarnation experience so I do have physical 514 needs as well so I need to address those as part of my prayer. 515 The guidance part for me would fall into the second half of the 516 prayer, the 75% that recognizes that I’m a spirit being, 517 conducting this experiment in a physical space suit. 518 Mark: How much do you seek guidance and try to follow it in your 519 life? 520 006: At this stage it’s not a discrete activity anymore, like 521 here’s the time I go to pray and here’s the time within my prayer 522 that I seek guidance. I think guidance comes throughout our lives 523 and that often we don’t have the eyes to see it. This is one of 524 the things that the great teachers all say. Buddha would call it 525 becoming awake, waking up; that it’s not about great cataclysmic 526 events. Everything that happens to us in our life is guidance; 527 the people that come into our lives, the books we happen across 528 you know. Carl Jung would call it synchronicity. I’m a big 529 believer in it; I don’t believe in coincidence. I don’t think 530 that things happen to us, as we say in Swahili, “ovyo-ouyo,” any 531 which way. I think everything is purposeful and meaningful, if we 532 have the eyes to be able to see it. For those who are able to see 533 it, no explanation is necessary and for those who can’t see it, 534 no explanation is possible. So for me seeking divine guidance 535 isn’t so much anymore about a discrete. . . it is just having my eyes 536 open enough to be able to seek guidance in all my activities, 537 whether it’s working with a client or trekking in the forest, 538 looking at what a butterfly is doing. I remember last spring 539 walking in the forest, seeing this butterfly on a flower, walking 540 up to it, and then realizing the butterfly had only a half a wing 541 on its right side. It wasn’t as if it had been cut off cleanly by 542 something; it was serrated as if it had fallen off through a

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543 disease. So literally he has a full left wing and only half a 544 right wing. I go up to it and as I approach it he takes off and 545 starts flying. I’m thinking how in the name of God, 546 aerodynamically, could a creature built to fly on two wings 547 manage to make the mental adjustment or the physical adjustment 548 to fly like this on a wing and a half. But that’s exactly what 549 the butterfly was doing. For me, that immediately becomes 550 guidance; it’s like God saying, “Everything is possible if you 551 believe in yourself. If you believe you can fly, you can fly, 552 whether you have a wing and a half or no wing at all. If you 553 believe it you can do it.” That to me is spiritual guidance. I 554 wasn’t in prayer mode, it’s not like I was sitting down 555 meditating, or I wasn’t saying to God “give me a sign”; I’m 556 trekking through the forest and there it is right in front of me. 557 A few days later, down at the banks of the river that flows 558 through the property, I come across this tiny little black ant 559 rolling a little ball up the little sandy bank and the sand is so 560 fine that he keeps slipping. I watch him for over half an hour 561 and he’s made maybe four inches progress all that time. He might 562 gain a quarter of an inch and then he would fall back down. The 563 sand would spin under his feet and he’s pushing furiously. Now 564 40 minutes I watch him do this and he gets up to a very 565 critical point over a little hill. If he can make it over there’s 566 a smaller slope. He gets right to that place and suddenly two red 567 ants from a totally different species come out from underneath a 568 leaf and chase him off and grab the ball and take it away, hidden 569 under the leaves. I lift up the leaf and their nest is in there. 570 So this poor bastard of a black ant has been working furiously 571 for 40 minutes to get this bloody thing up the hill and he 572 gets it and finally these two red ants just take it off him. I 573 said, “There’s divine guidance, sometimes you work your ass off 574 for something and somebody else gets the profit. C’est la vie.” 575 (Laughter) There’s guidance right there. 576 Mark: So it’s all around us. 577 006: It’s all around us. One of my gurus obviously is Jesus 578 Christ. I look at Jesus’ job description; it’s a quotation from 579 the prophet Isaiah. At one stage of the story, Christ is invited 580 to the synagogue in Capernaum, and he’s invited to stand and read 581 the reading for the day. He unrolls the scroll almost to the end 582 to Isaiah Chapter 61 and he finds the passage that says more or 583 less, “I was sent to proclaim liberty to captives, a year of 584 favor from the Lord, recovery of sight to the blind, freedom to 585 those in prison, and to declare a jubilee year.” I remember 586 hearing a phenomenal talk by a rabbi named Jonathan Magonet who 587 talked about Hebrew poetry. He talked about something I’d never 588 heard of before; that there’s a form of Hebrew poetry that works

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589 spirally. He started with the passage from Jeremiah, Chapter 20, 590 which is “a spiral within a spiral within a spiral.” He said if 591 you take a five line Hebrew poem, you would normally read it from 592 line 1 to 2 to 3 to 4 to 5 and in Greek poetry the climax is 593 going to come in line 5, but in Hebrew poetry it’s going to come 594 in line 3. So you never know where the climax is going to come 595 until the poem is finished and then you’ve got to count the lines 596 and then estimate which was the climax. While the reading goes 597 from 1 to 2 to 3 to 4 to 5, the meaning always goes from 1 to 5 to 2 598 to 4 to 3, and the climax will be at 3. Line 1 and line 5 are 599 saying the same thing, they’re called a Semitic parallelism in 600 Hebrew poetry; line 2 and 4 will be saying the same thing; and 601 then the climax will be in line 3. So when Christ was quoting 602 this poem he says, “I’ve come to preach good news to the poor, 603 liberty to captives, recovery of sight to the blind, freedom to 604 those in prison, to declare a year of favor from the Lord”; and 605 if you’re reading it as Greek poetry that’s the climax. But it’s 606 Hebrew poetry so you’re going to have to go from 1 to 5 to 2 to 4 607 and then 3 is the climax. So here’s how it goes: “I’ve come to 608 preach good news to the poor, a year of favor from the Lord”; 609 that’s good news as well, that’s parallelism there; “I’ve come to 610 set the captives free, to release those in prison,” that’s the 611 same idea here, and now there’s going to be a climax, “to give 612 sight to the blind.” Then Christ sat down and said, “Today the 613 scripture’s being fulfilled even as you listen.” Christ is saying 614 in a sense “I’m the fulfillment to that prophecy and this is my 615 job description.” What is the climax for His job description? “To 616 give sight to the blind.” What does that mean? Does it mean to go 617 around and look for people who have glaucoma? No, it means 618 looking for people with spiritual glaucoma, who are surrounded by 619 ants pushing balls up hills and only seeing ants pushing balls up 620 hills, or surrounded by butterflies flying with a wing and a half 621 and all they see is a butterfly flying on a wing and a half. That 622 they don’t see beyond it. That’s what guidance is about for me. 623 It’s about having the ability to see beyond the daily encounters, 624 even on the highway, and really see what’s happening there. 625 History isn’t a record of concordats and battles; it’s evidence 626 of the evolution of the human quest for God. Psychology is not 627 about behavioral modification, psychology is about accessing the 628 imminence of God within. Cosmology is not just discovering how 629 many light years Sirius may be away from us, cosmology is 630 creating an explanation for how the love of God gets translated 631 into physicality. Every discipline from anthropology through 632 zoology becomes just another way of accessing the truth. That’s 633 where it’s moving towards for me. It’s important to ask for 634 guidance occasionally, but it’s equally important to have the

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635 eyes to see where God is moving on the freeway and in the forest. 636 Mark: That brings up a question for me. Does being open in the 637 midst of things take different types of practices and 638 preparations to help you be that way as opposed to sitting and 639 asking? 640 006: I think it does. I think there are lots of different ways 641 to get to a place of openness, tolerance, vision, and detachment. 642 Having great teachers, whether you call them gurus or rabbis or 643 priests or confessors or spiritual directors or psychotherapists, 644 is one true and tried and trusted way of getting to that place on 645 a regular basis. You could do it through accessing the great 646 spiritual traditions of the world through their scriptures. For 647 me, scriptures are not just the written words of the great peoples 648 of the book, like the Jews or the Christians or the Hindus or the 649 Buddhists or the Muslims, all of whom have written traditions; 650 proverbs, African mythology, Celtic folklore, the oral traditions 651 are a scripture for me as well. All the great mythologies, all 652 the great folklores, all the great proverbs are equally 653 impregnated with the word of God and His spiritual wisdom. 654 Another place is reading great books, whether it’s anthologies of 655 poetry or great prose of the writers of the world or whether it’s 656 looking at just modern writers. So there are many, many 657 modalities that we have available to us to try to open ourselves 658 up, to touch the wisdom, to sitting and waiting for the moment of 659 the Divine. 660 Mark: Is there anything else on this topic area you feel you’d 661 like to say? 662 006: I think it’s a combination of a cosmology and a set of 663 practices. Everybody is operating out of a cosmology whether they 664 bring it to consciousness or not. Everybody has a philosophy of 665 life whether they can articulate it or they can’t. Every one of 666 us has a model of reality whether or not we can articulate it, 667 whether or not we can tell you what the elements of it are. It 668 profoundly guides how we react and respond to the events of the 669 day. I can make that cosmology conscious and create a cosmology 670 that can accommodate my personal experience of life to the extent 671 that I’m prepared to work at tweaking it, updating it, making it 672 my own in a sense that it can really accommodate my experiences 673 of life so that I’m not borrowing a cosmology from a scriptural 674 tradition or borrowing a cosmology from a political philosophy. 675 Most people don’t do that because it takes time and it takes a 676 little bit of study to go off and to examine the raw data of my 677 life and then create a model that can adequately contain it. It 678 takes a lot of work and most people aren’t prepared to do that. 679 They’re working with borrowed models often from their family of 680 origin, from their spiritual tradition, although they’ve thrown

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681 aside some of the tradition, they’ve kept the spirit of it, the 682 philosophy of it, and that’s what’s guiding them, and sometimes 683 this is totally inadequate to their own life’s experiences. So 684 for me that becomes the first component. The second component is 685 having some kind of a regular practice, which will allow me to 686 grow in my cosmology in my daily encounters, whether that’s 687 meditation or prayer or time spent in nature or learning how to 688 communicate properly with my wife or my husband. Whatever it is, 689 it has to be grounded in practice. It’s like I can read a great 690 book on how to build a super body and become a Charles Atlas, but 691 I can read it from now until doomsday and it’s not going to 692 improve my body one bit until I go start pumping iron or running 693 or whatever. The same thing is true for my philosophy of life or 694 a cosmology. The most profound cosmology in the world, even if 695 it’s tailor made for my experiences of life, isn’t going to do 696 diddlysquat for me until I have practices that translate that 697 into a daily activity. That’s what creates the spiritual muscle. 698 When the vicissitudes arrive and the traumas occur, if I don’t 699 have a spiritual practice, which is almost second nature to me, 700 then I’m really thrown for a loop. 701 Mark: Thank you. Let take a moment to close. If you have a 702 prayer or meditation to offer . . . 703 006: I just want to thank the Universe, God, for affording us 704 this opportunity of sharing ideas together, sharing journeys 705 together. I ask God to continue to bless our lives and our work, 706 that every encounter can bring light and compassion with it, that 707 every relationship can be grounded in love, that all our ideas 708 can be predicated on trusting God. That ultimately we’ve come 709 from God, we rest in God, we go back to God, give us the courage 710 to conduct all our affairs in that context. Amen. Namaste, Mark. 711 Shalom Aleychem. 712 Mark: Namaste, Shalom Aleychem, thank you. 713 006: You’re welcome.


1 Mark: Okay, what I’d like to start with is to ask you if you 2 would share a personal experience that you have had in seeking, 3 receiving, and following divine guidance. 4 007: There are so many, it’s hard to select. Perhaps an earlier 5 one was the most dramatic for me in that I’d been invited to 6 speak in Israel and I’d always wanted to go to Israel to see the 7 roots of my grandparents. About 5 days before going there in 8 my morning meditation the guidance was “after I’m through with my 9 lecture, go immediately to Egypt.” I didn’t know anyone in Egypt 10 and it seemed like a crazy thing to do, so I kind of ignored it

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11 because I really wanted to see the historical places. But it kept 12 gnawing and gnawing and gnawing at me. Finally I indeed canceled 13 my trip. In those days you couldn’t go from Israel to Egypt, you 14 had to go to Greece. I remember talking with Bill Thetford, who 15 with Helen Schucman brought the Course in Miracles into being, 16 and I said “Bill, this sounds like such a crazy thing for me to 17 do. My ego-mind is just going crazy around this. I don’t even 18 know anybody in Egypt. If there were someone it would be Mrs. 19 Sadat because they had just established this new hospital and she 20 had a lot to do with it; I would be interested in that.” So I got 21 on the plane going from Greece to Egypt and there’s an airline 22 magazine, and it had a little article about a Doctor Shebandor, 23 who is head of the cancer institute in Egypt. I thought, “Well, 24 maybe this is a voice from God or something. Maybe I should call 25 him because we have something in common.” Through the concierge I 26 was able to find this person on Friday and got a hold of him and 27 he said “Well, I’m sorry but today is like Sunday in your country 28 and I’m just on my way to go to a party and it’s not possible for 29 me to see you.” After this long silence he said, “Well, you’re 30 only about 10 minutes away, if you got a taxi right now I could 31 see you for about 10 minutes.” So I took this taxi because I had 32 nothing better to do and it was one of those experiences where 33 you felt immediately like you’ve known each other for all of your 34 life. He invited me to come with he and his wife to a party where 35 most of Sadat’s cabinet was going to be. The Minister of Health 36 happened to be there and became interested in our work in 37 attitudinal healing and invited me to come to his office on 38 Monday. I came to his office and spent about an hour and a half 39 with him. Just before the last half hour began he excused himself 40 and said, “I have to make a phone call.” He came back and said “I 41 just arranged for you to have a 20 minute appointment with 42 Madame Sadat. I think she would be interested in some of the 43 things that you and your people are doing.” All of a sudden I 44 sort of got goose pimples remembering that little flippant 45 statement I made to Bill Thetford. I met with her and the 20 46 minutes lasted for 2 and a half hours. It was just an amazing 47 experience; it wasn’t so much that I had met Madame Sadat, this 48 very amazing person, but that I didn’t listen to my rational 49 voice. I had the courage to listen to that inner voice even 50 though it didn’t make logical sense. It gave me a sense of energy 51 and a validation in a sense to really listen and not get caught 52 in the world’s belief system. A couple years later I was helping 53 put on a conference on transformation in San Jose. It was around 54 a project that I started called Children as Teachers of Peace and 55 the guidance was to call Madame Sadat and invite her to come. 56 Again I started this big argument, “She sees thousands of people,

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57 and she wouldn’t even remember who I was.” I kept fighting it and 58 fighting it, and finally I said “okay” and I wrote a brief 59 letter, not really expecting to hear from her. About 3 weeks 60 later I was in New York City and my secretary called me and said 61 Madame Sadat’s secretary is trying to reach you. So I called her 62 and she accepted the invitation, and she came with her daughter. 63 It was actually the first time that she had left Egypt since the 64 death of her husband and meeting the children at our center and 65 getting involved in some of the things that we were doing was an 66 uplifting experience for her. Since that time she invited me to 67 Egypt and we began to lecture together in different places, in 68 Sweden, in Finland, in Holland and elsewhere and became close 69 friends. All that wouldn’t have happened if I had said, “Well, 70 this is crazy” and had gone to visit the historical landmarks 71 that I wanted to see. That was very early in my experience on the 72 spiritual pathway and there are many many different examples like 73 that. For example, this house that you find yourself in. When I 74 got divorced in 1973 after a 20-year marriage, it was a very 75 difficult and painful divorce. I wasn’t on any spiritual journey 76 at the time and I was full of guilt and full of anger. A friend 77 of mine who was just leaving for Spain had this wonderful 78 apartment right on the waterfront, so I lived there for 17 years. 79 Then the building got sold and my rent was raised 2,000 percent. 80 As I looked for rentals I realized how much the rents had risen 81 here. Diane and I were just finishing a book Love is the Answer 82 and it was Sunday 1:00 p.m. and I just had that inner feeling that 83 “we’ve got to stop what we’re doing right now and take a walk. 84 Somehow we’re going to meet someone who’s going to help us find a 85 place.” It didn’t sound logical but I just had that strong 86 feeling. Diane is very respectful of my guidance and immediately 87 said, “Let’s do it.” Ten minutes later I met a woman I hadn’t 88 seen in 10 years who just moved down the street in a beautiful 89 house. She brought us in the house and shared where she was and 90 asked us questions. We said, “Well, we’re in the process of 91 looking for a place?” “Oh I know the perfect place for you . . . 92 this place in Kile Cove.” So she brought us here and we met the 93 landlord who she knew. He said, “I’m sorry, the place was just 94 rented yesterday, it’s not available.” So as we’re walking away 95 Diane says, “Gerry, I see in my heart and my vision that we’re 96 going to live here.” So I took my spiritual hat off and I put my 97 psychiatric hat on and said “Diane, you’re into denial. If 98 someone says no we have to deal with it. You don’t want to fight 99 that.” She said, “No, I really feel that we’re going to live 100 here. Is it all right with you if we don’t look for a place for a 101 couple of weeks?” I said, “Yeah, I’m fine with that.” Four 102 days later we received a phone call from the landlord saying

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103 that the person that was going to rent it had chosen not to and 104 would we still be interested? So we’ve been here now 10 years. 105 My guidance was to find a place that would be peaceful, that 106 would be in nature, where you could detach yourself from the 107 world and be close to God. This turned out to be the absolutely 108 perfect place for that. 109 Mark: Beautiful. Could you talk a little bit about how you seek 110 guidance, the process, the form you use? 111 007: It’s continually reminding myself that my ego mind doesn’t 112 really know what’s best for me or anybody else. I do my best 113 everyday to come to God with empty hands. I’m an amateur 114 photographer and for many years the only thing I took pictures of 115 was people’s hands and I have them all over my house to remind me 116 to come to God with empty hands and not hold on to anything from 117 the past and say that I really don’t know what’s best. We start 118 the day at 4:30 a.m. by choice and do a prayer that comes from A Course 119 in Miracles: “I’m not a body, I am free for I am still as God 120 created me. I want the peace of God. The peace of God is 121 everything that I want, the aim of all my living here. The end I 122 seek, my purpose, my function, my life, where I abide when I’m 123 not at home.” This puts the rudder in the sailboat, then puts it 124 in a direction other than going around in a circle. We have a 125 little ritual in bed where we see our bodies dematerialize into 126 light, and feel our light extending to our immediate family and 127 our extended family and the people who are suffering from lack of 128 love. We have that experience before we even get out of bed then 129 we do yoga and meditation. When I started my spiritual journey in 130 1975, the clear message was that my life was going to be 131 different. Although I was an atheist at the time it said that my 132 will and God’s will would be one and that my life would be one of 133 service. 134 It’s about always asking for guidance, “what should I think, say, 135 and do,” rather than trying to do what I think my ego wants to 136 do. It’s not that Diane and I are always there; we’re not. There 137 are challenges all the time but I would say more and more we’re 138 there as time goes on. It feels that so many miracles continue to 139 happen in our lives that would not be able to happen if we chose 140 to do it in a different way. 141 Mark: How do you receive this guidance? Do you hear a voice, 142 have a feeling? How does it come to you? 143 007: During my alcohol days I heard a voice coming from outside 144 saying to me that “you’re in a new phase of healing and it’s no 145 longer necessary for you to drink.” It didn’t seem like an inner 146 voice. It felt like I was going to see purple elephants on the 147 wall at any moment and it scared the hell out of me. Then I woke 148 up and forgot about what happened. I went to work and came back

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149 home and did my usual thing; I’d come in the kitchen and get my 150 scotch bottle. I had my hand on the scotch bottle and I heard 151 that same voice again. I didn’t have any scotch and I lost about 152 60 pounds in the next 2 months, not realizing I had gotten that 153 heavy. But for the most part the voice that I hear is similar to 154 an inner dictation. Sometimes it’s like getting a green 155 light, sometimes it’s just an inner sense of knowing. Some people 156 might call it intuition. It’s Christmas time right now and I 157 usually call a number of people that I feel God wants me to call. 158 This one person was someone I really didn’t know that well. He’d 159 been at the center for a little bit and then moved to Hawaii. I 160 called him in the afternoon about 4:00 p.m. His wife had left him 161 about 2 weeks previously and I was the only person who called him 162 that day. It really brought tears to my eyes that somehow out of 163 nowhere this voice came to call this person and that I did it. I 164 was very grateful that I listened. I think one thing is listening 165 and the other thing is following, to realize I’m not in control, 166 and to want to follow. 167 Mark: Can you talk a little about that process of discerning 168 which voice is talking to you? 169 007: Sometimes I’ll ask a question without getting an answer and 170 I figure that my ego’s involved. Sometimes I feel like I don’t 171 have to make a decision about that today or that I’ve already 172 made it. Sometimes it is an ego decision and I’m not ready to 173 listen at that point. 174 Mark: Are there certain qualities of the inner voice that tells 175 you it’s from God or it’s divine? 176 007: To me it has a very gentle quality and it also leaves me 177 feeling peaceful rather than tense and anxious, although 178 sometimes it sort of takes me by the neck. Two years ago Diane 179 and I were invited to go to Bosnia for a special conference on 180 reconciliation and forgiveness for religious and spiritual 181 leaders who experienced tremendous atrocities from the other 182 side. These people felt that politicians would never resolve what 183 was going on there and things were so awful that maybe they could 184 do something about it. As they gathered for the first of the 185 3-day conference they became pretty fearful. All of a sudden 186 they had before them what unforgiveness looked like. “If the 187 other person apologizes first, maybe I will.” There was a stand 188 off around this aspect and my guidance was just to continue to 189 bless everyone with love and not get caught in the outcome, 190 whether they were going to change or not, but just to keep that 191 flow going of unconditional love. Somehow we were able to create 192 an atmosphere of unconditional love where they could really begin 193 to hear the other person without interrupting. They began to hear 194 the other person’s story; they heard the other person’s pain, and

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195 they were able to do that on both sides. I remember there was a 196 Serbian priest and he mentioned that when he was 16 his whole 197 house was on fire. His mother, father, and two brothers were 198 burned alive. Somehow he knew at that age that if he hadn’t 199 forgiven them on the spot he would join them and continue 200 recycling the anger and the murder, and he’d kill someone and 201 he’d be killed. Well, this was such a powerful experience. I was 202 in the middle of writing a sequel to my book Love is Letting Go 203 of Fear after 20 years and I was pretty much involved in that 204 book. But coming back on the plane God told me to “stop writing 205 that book and write a book on forgiveness.” So I did what I’m 206 supposed to do and I wrote this book Forgiveness: The Greatest 207 Healer of All, which came out in September of 1999. It wasn’t a 208 rational thing because my rational mind was saying, “you’re in 209 the middle of this, you’ve got to finish this and then you do 210 that.” But it was like God taking my hand and then saying “This 211 is what you’re supposed to do right now,” and I knew that that’s 212 what I was supposed to do. It’s another way of saying that it is 213 about learning not to doubt, getting that “Doubting Thomas” to 214 dissolve. 215 Mark: How do you do that? 216 007: By not getting involved in the outcome, by just wanting to 217 be a vehicle, by really wanting to serve and not feeling that I 218 need anything at this point and that whatever I need will be 219 provided for, and to not ask the wrong questions, like about the 220 future and things of that sort. For example I had some serious 221 problems with my glaucoma. My left eye is functionally blind and 222 my right eye began to get in trouble and I had an operation. I 223 had some problems in the beginning listening to God’s voice and 224 my ego voice came up and said “Well, what happens if the 225 operation’s not a success or that you end up being blind?” 226 Finally I was able to turn that around and stopped asking that 227 question and got the message to, “Keep in the present and see 228 what you can do to be helpful every part of the way on your 229 journey.” So in the hospital the nurse was taking my pulse and 230 blood pressure and said, “My Dr. J., you seem so calm and 231 your pulse and blood pressure is so low. Is it some drug you’re 232 taking?” I said “No, I just have a relationship with God that 233 helps me very much.” She said, “Oh, I’m having a lot of 234 problems with God today, could you help me?” So I was keeping the 235 consciousness and helping her, and of course I wasn’t asking 236 questions about the future. Then the anesthesiologist came in and 237 my guidance was to get his attention by saying to him that “I 238 understand with HMOs that a lot of the anesthesiologists are not 239 making the same kind of money they were making before, do you 240 have some feelings about that?” All of a sudden all this anger

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241 came out and I could really listen and be there for him. Then 242 they wheeled me into surgery and my brother’s a really famous 243 ophthalmologist and I knew that my eye doctor knew that my 244 brother would, in one sense, be looking over his shoulder. So I 245 decided to bring that out in the open and I said, “You know, Dr. 246 Lee, you and I both know that my brother’s probably looking over 247 your shoulder (laughter) and if you feel that way there might be 248 some tension and a little anxiety about it and I’d just like to 249 suggest that you forget my name is Dr. J. and treat me as 250 Jerry Smith. I thought maybe we could acknowledge it and then you 251 might let go of that and then we can both go on.” He said 252 “You know, I’m really glad you mentioned that Gerry because I was 253 concerned about that. Just hearing you talk about it allows me to 254 get rid of it.” So, it’s just allowing myself to stay in the 255 present all the time. I had another operation on my eye a year 256 later that ended up in a very severe infection in the inner ball 257 of my eye and I was actually blind for about 3 weeks. After 258 the first week I asked my wife to go back to work. I’d have 259 people come in and help me read my mail and take me where I 260 needed to go. I just think I needed to get back to feeling I had 261 a normal life and not being just dependent. Well, what happened 262 was a lot of the people that I had worked with came back to help 263 me. Sally Kinn had had pretty serious cancer as a teenager and 264 she took off work on her birthday to come to help me (starting to 265 cry) saying that this was her gift to me because she didn’t think 266 she’d be here if she hadn’t come to the “Center for Attitudinal 267 Healing.” I saw many other people in the same way. The first book 268 I had ever written was To Give Is to Receive and I think the 269 lesson that God was giving me was that I had really 270 understood what giving was but I really didn’t understand what 271 receiving was. I was faced with that part of my ego that wanted 272 to be independent and strong, and here I was learning to accept 273 with grace people giving to me. I come from a family of very 274 giving people, but they weren’t very good at accepting gifts. I 275 don’t think that I ever was very good at receiving in that kind 276 of way. I think I had some old hang-ups about guilt or not being 277 worthy. So I learned a new lesson in receiving, that giving is 278 receiving. It was like God had these people come back into my 279 life as angels making me realize more than anytime ever before 280 that to give is to receive and that we’re all equal teachers and 281 students to each other; that no matter what’s happening to you it 282 can be turned around into a positive lesson God would have us 283 learn. So I began to see that the most important thing for me was 284 to see people in the light, see people with Christ vision. 285 There is one line I like from the Course in Miracles that says, 286 “Today I choose to use Christ vision to look upon things and

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287 judge them not, but I am given the miracle of love instead.” Well, 288 my experience with Jesus as a Jew was that you never mentioned 289 that word, so when I became involved in the Course in Miracles, a 290 lot of the Christian terminology was a little bit like 291 pornography to me. I remember one day in my meditation that I 292 found that my relationship with Jesus was very abstract and I 293 wanted to have a real relationship with him. I remember asking 294 for that help, and I really believe when you ask God for help you 295 get it. That was in November. Then on December 18th I got a 296 phone call from Switzerland from some woman who wanted to give me 297 a gift. I didn’t know who she was and it was a bad connection and 298 for some reason I thought she was a little drunk. I asked her to 299 talk to me again after Christmas. December 26th I get 300 this call from the same person and it’s clear now that she was 301 the wife of my French publisher telling me about this woman who’s 302 one of the wealthiest people in Finland who had come to 303 Switzerland. She was this very cantankerous woman who didn’t like 304 people. She came across my book Love Is Letting Go of Fear and it 305 became like a bible to her. It changed her life; she changed her 306 name to Happy and gave all her money away. She only had one thing 307 left and that was a 13th Century painting of Jesus Christ that 308 had been in her family for centuries. She’d gone up in the 309 mountains to meditate on what she should do with this painting. 310 She came back and said “I’m supposed to give it to Gerry 311 J., the author of Love Is Letting Go of Fear (1979). The people 312 around her said, “Look, you’ve never even met this person. He’s 313 some flaky Jewish psychiatrist in California. I don’t think you 314 want to give it to him.” “Yes, I want to give it to him.” So then 315 they paid for two tickets and we went to Switzerland and met this 316 woman who was 94, in great health, this amazing lady and 317 a wonderful teacher. She said, “Now I can die in peace” and 3 318 weeks later she died in her sleep. This painting had been used in 319 the Russian Czar’s time to heal people. There was a minister here 320 who I befriended and he was really depressed and almost 321 suicidal. I spent 2 hours with him and he was even worse when 322 it was about time for him to leave. All of a sudden I got a 323 message from God saying, “Ask him if he can stay another 10 324 minutes,” so I did. I took him upstairs and had him sit on the 325 stairs and look back at the painting of Jesus hanging there, and 326 a miracle took place. This guy’s whole physical structure, his 327 emotional and spiritual structure shifted. The guilt and the 328 blame all disappeared. He was healed; it was an amazing 329 experience. He’s no longer with the church and he’s doing other 330 things now, but his soul was healed. The first thing I see in the 331 morning is this painting. It’s a rather feminine painting, it has 332 a feminine energy, and it reminds me what we’re here to do and

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333 that is to see people through love and forgiveness and see 334 people’s light instead of their shadow. So when the woman had 335 mentioned on the phone that it was a painting of Jesus Christ she 336 was giving me, I thought, “well, this is my message from my 337 November meditation that God was giving me.” 338 Mark: Do you have a feeling for what experiences or forces in 339 your life brought you to the point of seeking? 340 007: I think everything I’ve done in my life, even all the 341 experiences that I thought I hated in growing up; problems I’ve 342 had with my mom, my dad, my dyslexia, have all been important 343 things for me to have. I wouldn’t give them up for anything. My 344 writing style is different than most; most of my books have a lot 345 of white space in them and I like smaller books not bigger books 346 because I’m dyslexic. I remember while writing Love Is the Answer 347 with Diane, I said “You know, Diane, I’d like my mechanic who’s 348 maybe not read a book since he left high school to be able to 349 read this and get something out of it, and I’d also like a 350 professor of English and people in college get into it as well.” 351 About 4 months after the book was out, my old Honda got in 352 trouble and I took it in. The service man called me and was 353 telling me what was wrong with it. I said, “can you be a little 354 more simple than that, I’m dyslexic and it’s hard for me to 355 understand what you’re saying.” “Oh that’s right, you’re the 356 author aren’t you? You know, your mechanic told me that he’s 357 read all of your books.” I said, “Oh, thank you, God.” So I 358 think that there are no accidents in life; everything happens for 359 a reason. I know this is an interview but I know that’s an excuse 360 for us to be together; there are other reasons for sharing space 361 with each other and what happens in this interview is really 362 secondary not primary. For me this is another way of getting 363 closer to God and letting go of the parts of the onionskin that 364 keeps me in my ego. Some things have happened to me that I never 365 thought would happen. My relationships with my ex-wife and my two 366 adult sons are great now and that’s a miracle because I never 367 thought that would get healed. I’m just very blessed. 368 Mark: I guess that answers my next question. How has following 369 guidance affected your life? 370 007: It’s just given me a peace that I never thought I could 371 have. It’s allowed my heart to expand to be able to embrace a lot 372 of diversity. It’s allowed me to meet people I never thought I 373 would meet, like the Dalai Lama and Mother Teresa. 374 Mark: Can you talk a little bit about the obstacles on the 375 journey? 376 007: There are obstacles all the time. In 1979 a number of 377 people were saying that the success of the Center for Attitudinal 378 Healing had something to do with my personality and my charisma.

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379 I knew that wasn’t the case and I really felt that God was 380 telling me “Okay, this is the time for you to resign and not to be 381 the director.” That was an obstacle because letting go of control 382 meant that some things were happening that wouldn’t be the way 383 I’d have done it. 384 Mark: Do you find that it’s sometimes hard to listen to your 385 voice? 386 007: Sure. When I’m in a lot of physical pain, it’s more difficult 387 to listen to that, to embrace the pain rather than fight it. When 388 I put too many things on my plate, it’s always difficult for me 389 to say no. My work is learning to simplify and bring more balance 390 into our lives, to wait and listen. It’s also important to take 391 as much time in nature as you can. 392 [Bathroom break, Gerry invites Mark to sit on steps and view 393 painting of Jesus] 394 Mark: Could you talk a little bit about the way you ask for 395 guidance? Are there certain prayers you say, certain meditations 396 you do, and certain tools that you use? 397 007: I think what meditation is about is to empty our thoughts. I 398 visualize a garbage disposal in my mind taking all my junk 399 thoughts away so there’s only loving thoughts of God that I can 400 listen to. I used to be sort of committed and I know I’m totally 401 committed now, that’s a big difference. I want to make listening 402 to God and being a vehicle of love and forgiveness as important 403 as breathing. I like to breathe and so that’s helpful to me in 404 really trying to not deal with life in a rational basis. I know 405 that I have to make airline reservations about the future but I 406 don’t have to get caught in machinations about “is the plane 407 going to stop on time or am I going to get there in time for the 408 lecture” or whatever that might be. I want something that can 409 help me come back and stay in the present and to let go. I had an 410 experience in my old Honda of driving over a bump and the rear 411 view mirror fell to the ground and broke. I knew this had to be a 412 special message from God, a special delivery. So I pulled over to 413 the side of the road just to give myself some time to think and 414 say, “okay, what’s this all about?” I just started laughing and 415 laughing and laughing because what I heard was, “Gerry, when are 416 you ever going to stop looking backwards in your life?” That was 417 really helpful. It’s when we’re caught in our victim-hood, when 418 we’re caught in our judgments and our grievances of the past that 419 we superimpose the past on the present and God is nowhere to be 420 found, then all you’re dealing with is the past and the future. I 421 do my best to say, “This is my only present, right now.” I have 422 to pay a little attention to the past but by and large I try to 423 be pretty much in the present, then the present and the future 424 becomes the same. Whereas my parents taught me the past is going

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425 to be like the future, “yesterday was awful, today’s with us, and 426 tomorrow’s going to be worse”; and I believed that for a long 427 time. A half a bottle of water was half empty and now I really 428 believe it’s half full. It’s only your own thoughts that hurt you 429 and we can really do something about that. When I get depressed 430 or upset I’ll go to the center and I’ll go to a group meeting 431 with the young children who are wise spirits in young bodies, and 432 I’ll come out in the consciousness of giving again. I don’t think 433 there are any neat prescriptions though, I really think it’s many 434 small things that are very important. 435 Mark: Do you use specific prayers from the Course? 436 007: I do some specific prayers; I think I mentioned a few of 437 those to you. I write a lot of prayers myself and I practice 438 those prayers. 439 Mark: Let me take a moment to make sure I’ve asked all my 440 questions. My final question is . . . do you have any other thoughts 441 or feelings that you’d like to share about the process of seeking 442 guidance? 443 007: To understand that what we tend to call common sense is not 444 spiritual sense. We live in a world that says for us to use our 445 common sense, which is based on the past and experiences in the 446 past, which is based on fear and our judgments that some things 447 are unforgivable. I think when we’re using our spiritual sense, 448 it’s really about letting go of all your old models, letting go 449 of wanting to win a popularity contest and to know that you’re here 450 to follow guidance. I think if Jesus were alive today He would 451 not win a popularity contest. It was difficult at first when a 452 lot of my medical colleagues thought I must have been in some 453 kind of accident because I was talking about God and love when I 454 should be giving pills out. But miracles did happen there too and 455 now many physicians come to our center. I think that comes from 456 not wanting to change people. To love people doesn’t mean you’re 457 there to change people. It’s hard to hear that inner voice of 458 guidance if you think you’re here to change or to act in a 459 reactive kind of way. When you really know that we’re more than 460 just these bodies and that we are equals in God’s love, then we 461 are really doing our best to heal the illusion that we are 462 separate from each other and from God. When you’re accepting 463 those that might not agree with you and not being in this to make 464 people believe, then you’re demonstrating that yourself and 465 you’re really listening. I guess the best litmus paper is what 466 you’re feeling inside. Are you feeling joyful? Diane asked that 467 lady in Switzerland “What’s your biggest secret?” She said, “Well, 468 I let go of all my judgments.” The truly happiest people are 469 those people who are not making judgments, who are living life in 470 a kindly loving way and walking lightly. Whether they use the

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471 word guidance or not is not the point. There are many very godly 472 people who don’t really think they believe in God. The most 473 important thing is to question our decision-making based on the 474 past or based on fear rather than love. 475 Mark: Thank you. 476 007: Thank you for the work you’re doing.


1 008: Heavenly Father, Divine Mother, Friend, Beloved God, Jesus 2 Christ, Babaji, Krishna, Larhiri Mahashaya, Swami Sri Yuktaswar, 3 Paramahansa Yogananda, Saints and Sages of all religions, humbly 4 we bow at your feet. Be with us this morning that we may be 5 attuned to your presence and that our interchange of words may be 6 a true exchange of divine vibrations. Guide us that what we do 7 may be truthful and helpful and of service to Your light in this 8 world. Aum, peace, amen. 9 Mark: Amen. Thank you. 10 008: Aum, Shanti, Shanti. What shall we do we now? 11 Mark: I would like to start by asking you if you could retell a 12 story from your own personal experience of seeking, receiving, and 13 following divine guidance? 14 008: When I was 18, maybe 19, I was just beginning to discover 15 that the way I had always tried to live my life, actually had a 16 name and a philosophy and a scripture to go with it; I was 17 beginning to recognize that what I had been seeking really 18 existed. At that point I had begun to study the teachings of Sri 19 Ramakrishna through Vivekananda, and I was beginning to realize 20 that you could influence your own destiny with your own will. 21 That turned out not to be my final resting path but it certainly 22 guided me for a number of years. So I was washing dishes and just 23 feeling my usual multidivided self doing one thing while trying 24 to think of another thing and just sort of doing a little of this 25 and a little of that. I’m still a lot that way but I’m better. I 26 remember I was just standing there washing dishes and I wasn’t 27 seeking this because this came unbidden but I suppose I was 28 seeking it because of my sincere desire. I felt a voice inside my 29 head and it said “What’s your hurry honey, it’s just one damn 30 thing after another?” (Laughter) I really felt that in a very 31 vernacular way it was the Divine Mother, as I came to see it 32 later, speaking to me saying “You’ll never get where you’re going 33 if you keep going in such a hurry. What do you think is going to 34 change? You know you’ll never finish because it’s always going to 35 be the necessity of consciousness. You’ll always be conscious and 36 you’ll always be focused on something, so what are you trying to 37 escape from and where do you think you’re going?” I’ve always

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38 remembered that; it’s always stayed with me. Even to this day 39 when I find myself thinking I can go faster by going faster, I 40 remember that. I hear that voice and I remember it in my mind. 41 Mark: Could you talk about the quality of the voice? 42 008: It was humorous, almost a caricature. It was true, I mean 43 it was not pretend. It was just the real way that real 44 understanding comes, in a consistent way with who we are. 45 Spirituality is not like something else happening to us. Now 46 don’t misunderstand me, we can rise to heights that we don’t 47 normally experience, but even still if something is really our 48 own it’s recognizable, it’s not distant. Sometimes if we make it 49 too distant it’s more imaginary, it’s our imaginary idea of what 50 it should be like rather than an actual recognition of our own 51 self on a higher octave. 52 Mark: Was it an actual voice? 53 008: It was a voice in my head. It was a voice that I heard in 54 my head. I’m not given to having anything that could go into the 55 charts as a real phenomenal experience. It’s not consistent with 56 the path I’m on. The path I’m on is a very feet on the ground 57 sort of practical path. It’s not consistent with my nature. I 58 would love it. It would be just jolly wonderful to have some 59 things you could write up in storybooks. Mostly I’m guided by an 60 intuitive sense of things, a sort of awareness. Sometimes it 61 comes suddenly. Sometimes it’s just a kind of knowing that “oh, 62 this is right, this is what needs to happen.” When I feel that 63 I’ve learned to trust it, but it usually doesn’t have any bells 64 and whistles with it. 65 Mark: So, it’s more like an internal voice or feeling? 66 008: Things generally come to me as an internal voice or 67 feeling. Sometimes it’s a voice like the idea will just pop into 68 my head, but it’s not a voice that doesn’t sound like me. My 69 usual sense is I’ll just know something. I don’t know how else to 70 put it. Just this last Saturday we had our Christmas meditation 71 and we’ve been trying to figure out how to remodel our sanctuary 72 and when I was meditating it just suddenly seemed obvious to me 73 what we ought to do and why. It wasn’t that different from what 74 we’d been talking about, but somehow there was a feeling that 75 this wasn’t just an idea but this was the right way to do it. 76 When I’ve talked to people since, I haven’t presented it to them 77 as “Lo, I was meditating and the idea came,” I didn’t keep the 78 source secret but I said “Does this seem right to you?” and most 79 people have said “Yes, that really does seem right.” Prior to 80 that we were in many discussions on the issues and it just didn’t 81 feel right or didn’t feel clear. It felt like there were all 82 these different opinions but it wasn’t clear which one was the 83 one we really ought to do. Now it just seems like we have a clear

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84 direction. 85 Mark: How do you discern between that divine voice and all the 86 other voices? 87 008: How you discern between the divine one and all the rest of 88 the voices is a life long project. It takes a lot of time. It’s 89 very sensitive. You have to have the courage to make a lot of 90 mistakes. People somehow imagine that you sit still and you do 91 nothing, and then God will write in letters of gold across the 92 sky or speak with this deep tone of voice inside of you. In my 93 experience and in the experience of those whom I consider wiser 94 than I, that’s not how it happens most of the time. There are 95 occasions, I don’t want to say it never happens because wonderful 96 out of the ordinary things do happen, but real day-by-day 97 guidance is the result of a long habit of listening and even more 98 profoundly, a long habit of developing a kind of neutral attitude 99 that allows you to hear what is. We have many inner voices and 100 it’s not wrong to listen to your own voice no matter what voice 101 it is because it’s better to be guided from your own inner nature 102 than to just be the product of everybody else’s ideas. What we’re 103 really trying to do is to be guided by our Superconscious Self 104 and to learn to tell which one among those voices is the 105 Superconscious. The Superconscious is always interested in our 106 ultimate welfare and in the ultimate welfare of everyone. The 107 Superconscious is always solution oriented, there’s always a 108 solution on the Superconscious level. But the Superconscious also 109 asks us to grow and it doesn’t encourage us to simply comfortably 110 stay in the context or the understanding that we presently have. 111 Of course the difficulty is that we like where we are, we’re 112 comfortable where we are, and there’s a profound preference for 113 whatever we presently have, even if it’s miserable. So in order 114 to be able to hear higher wisdom you have to be really committed 115 to freedom and not committed to comfort. By freedom I mean 116 freedom from all limitations of consciousness. If we want things 117 a certain way or are afraid of certain possibilities, then we 118 generally don’t hear those possibilities. We may say “Oh, I’m 119 trying so hard to hear guidance and I don’t hear it. What does 120 God want of me, why doesn’t God answer my prayers?” 121 [Pause for ringing of fax machine] 122 Many years ago, in the beginning of 1972, when I was first 123 starting out on a spiritual path, I was facing a very difficult 124 personal dilemma and my emotions were tremendously involved. I 125 was a young girl and it was the first big crisis I’d had in my 126 life. I was talking to Swami Kriyananda, who is a direct American 127 disciple of Paramahansa Yogananda and has been my teacher and my 128 guide through this life since I was in my early 20s, about 129 this dilemma that I was facing. I was sitting on the floor in

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130 front of this big hassock and he was sitting in a chair and we 131 were talking. I said to him in a very dramatic way, “Oh, it’s so 132 hard to know what God wants,” and I was just overcome with 133 emotion and I put my head down on the hassock and I began to sob 134 my heart out “Oh, it’s so hard to know.” Swamiji very calmly and 135 kindly but very definitely said, “No, it’s not hard to know.” 136 Then he didn’t say anything else. Now, he’s not a person given to 137 Zen koans, he’s a very rational man and a very expressive one, 138 but that was all he said. We just sat quietly and I had the 139 feeling that the conversation was over so soon after I got myself 140 together and I went home. I was meditating and in my heart I was 141 saying “Well, he says it’s not difficult,” and I was tempted to 142 say “Well, he’s 20 years older than me so he knows a lot more 143 about this.” But he didn’t say “It’s not hard for me,” he said, 144 “It’s not hard.” So I asked a different prayer question, I said 145 “Why is it hard for me to know?” Then inwardly I felt a very 146 powerful answer that said, “Because you’re afraid to know.” So I 147 changed the question to say, “Well, what am I afraid of?” Then 148 immediately I saw the whole situation that I was dealing with and 149 I realized that it was perfectly clear what I was supposed to do 150 and I had always known it, but I didn’t want to. In my fear of 151 not wanting to have to accept what my Superconscious self, what 152 Divine Mother was telling me to do, I pretended to be confused on 153 a deep level because I didn’t want to have to face it. So then I 154 changed my prayer to “How can I overcome my fear?” There were 155 lots of answers to that. There had been no answers to “What 156 should I do, what should I do” because I didn’t want to know. 157 Divine Mother wasn’t going to waste her time trying to hammer 158 down my resistance. We have the freedom not to listen . . . so I 159 listened. Ever since then, whenever I feel mixed up about knowing, 160 I always change my prayer to “What am I afraid of?” and as soon as 161 I ask “What am I afraid of?” then the process gets going because 162 it’s not hard to know. Now fear is difficult to overcome but if 163 we become committed to overcoming our fear, that’s the sort of 164 question for which there is a Superconscious answer because 165 that’s the project that the Superconscious cares about. It 166 doesn’t really care that much about a lot of things that seem 167 important to us. We think it matters what job we take, whether we 168 marry, who we marry, things like that you think would matter. 169 They don’t really. What matters is the consciousness that we 170 develop through what we do. Sometimes circumstances matter. I 171 think maybe even a lot of the time circumstances matter but 172 sometimes they don’t matter at all. That’s why sometimes you can 173 just follow your own inner voice. It doesn’t make any difference 174 which voice it is as long as you do it with divine consciousness, 175 and do it according to right action, according to dharma.

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176 Mark: When you say “according to dharma,” could you talk about 177 that some more? 178 008: Dharma is one of those wonderful words for which there is 179 no actual equivalent in English so you have to use Sanskrit. 180 Sometimes people say duty when they mean dharma but that’s 181 slightly confusing because you can have many levels of duty. 182 Dharma is those actions, which lead to higher consciousness. So 183 your dharma is always that which you need to do in order to 184 expand your consciousness. It may coincide quite nicely with the 185 way the society around us looks at duty. Sometimes it does, 186 sometimes it doesn’t. 187 Mark: How would you discern something as being your dharma? 188 008: You discern your dharma carefully by trial and error. You 189 have to understand that one makes a lot of mistakes in following 190 guidance. If you don’t have the courage to make mistakes you’ll 191 never really learn how to follow it because it doesn’t generally 192 come clear. It’s a whisper or it’s a very sensitive feeling. Even 193 if it’s clear, it’s always very sensitive. Guidance is leading you 194 towards the center of yourself, so it’s not a straight line. It’s 195 moving ever deeper into the center. We often go in the right 196 direction but then over shoot the mark. The guidance will be to 197 go north but sometimes you’re only supposed to go north for a 198 very short period of time because at that point we have to go 199 east or west. You have to always keep listening in order to know. 200 There’s a certain feeling that you begin to get and you begin to 201 become familiar with it, and when you get that feeling you tend 202 to know that this is right. You can also tell by the results, but 203 if things go badly it still may be the right guidance because 204 what you’re working with is higher consciousness, you’re not 205 working with worldly success necessarily. Sometimes a great deal 206 of failure is required before success comes. So it’s always a 207 question of how you feel on a very deep inner level. There has to 208 be a sense of calmness, a sense of rightness about it, a sense of 209 relaxation. There’s no fear and I don’t mean fear like “Oh, this 210 is going to be difficult” but I mean nervousness or anxiousness, 211 “Oh, this might not happen, what am I going to do if this doesn’t 212 happen?” Guidance is always calm and there’s just a light energy 213 to it. It’s commonsensical too; if you can’t sing a note it’s not 214 likely that you’ll get true guidance to go out and be an opera 215 singer. It doesn’t usually happen that way. There’s usually some 216 inner resonance. It’s part of our own Self. Guidance is 217 directional; it’s not absolute. It’s going toward a higher state 218 of consciousness and so it has to be a step we can take. If it’s 219 a step we can’t take, a lot of times it’s the ego that gets in 220 there. It’s far more interesting to be guided to do something 221 really dramatic than it is to be guided to just keep on keeping

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222 on. The ego has a desire for the dramatic rather than the 223 practical. You have to apply the test of commonsense and 224 commonsense has to be balanced by understanding what real sense 225 is. You know real sense is to go toward Superconsciousness, not to 226 seek security in a world that’s going to disappear. 227 Mark: Do you perceive that sometimes guidance doesn’t seem 228 rational? 229 008: Though guidance sometimes does not seem rational that 230 doesn’t mean the more irrational it is the more divine it is. It 231 doesn’t seem rational in a sense that all the steps of reason are 232 not involved. For example, I was sitting with a young man who had 233 just arrived in our community and all of a sudden it occurred to 234 me that a certain job situation might be just right for him. 235 There was no context for that; it just popped into my head that 236 that might be right for him. Then I spoke to him about it and it 237 resonated with him. So there was no context for the receiving of 238 that idea but it was supported later by reason. That’s how it 239 balances out, there has to be some bridge. 240 Mark: You talked about fear and about the ego as being obstacles 241 sometimes. Are there some other obstacles that you could think 242 of? 243 008: I’ve mentioned ego and fear as obstacles to receiving 244 guidance and that pretty much covers it but maybe I can expand on 245 what those words mean. It’s important to understand what ego is. 246 We tend to think of ego as the opposite of divinity, which is not 247 a helpful thought because we’re so identified with our egos that 248 if we think the ego is the opposite of the Divine then we’re at 249 war with ourselves. It’s not practical or helpful. Paramahansa 250 Yogananda gave a brilliant definition of ego as “the infinite 251 soul identified with the body.” It’s a marvelous definition 252 because it is our identification with the body. We therefore 253 become convinced that I am . . . male or female, of a certain age; 254 that I was born and will die; that I can be hurt; that I’m alone; 255 and that I’m separate. If you contemplate it you see it goes a 256 long way. All of those things are the source of our suffering. If 257 we know ourselves to be infinite beyond all material limitation, 258 birthless, deathless, ever free, then everything that causes us 259 to cringe and flinch and be afraid is just a puff on an eternally 260 clear screen. So it’s all of those self-definitions that cause us 261 to be out of touch with our soul nature, our soul Self, which 262 really knows why we came here. Our soul Self knows what the rules 263 of the game actually are and is trying to guide us to score at 264 the right end of the field and to play according to the right 265 rules. Our ego self, which is trying to protect the body and all 266 of the things that are associated with that, is trying to play a 267 different game by a different set of rules. But the ego is a

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268 friend as well because it’s our personal power, it’s that which 269 helps motivate us, and it’s the focus of a lot of our energy, so 270 it’s not really an enemy. But it has to gradually be taught to 271 understand that it fits into a context; that this identification 272 with the body is a temporary role that we play and something else 273 is happening through this body and through this identification 274 rather than it being an end in itself, and fear, of course, is all 275 about that. What are we afraid of? We’re always afraid of loss in 276 some way or another. We feel that we’re going to be diminished by 277 the things that happen to us, because we think we are this 278 limited thing that can be diminished. It’s not easy to get over 279 that. Easy to sit here and say, a lifetime of practice, lifetimes 280 of practice to actually do it. It’s a very very deep delusion. 281 Mark: This is a great point. What practices do you use to 282 cultivate and receive guidance? 283 008: Everything is a byproduct of the main event and the main 284 event for me is the effort toward Self-realization. I don’t 285 specifically train to receive guidance. I work very hard to try 286 to be in harmony with the divine flow through me. I try to be 287 guided by the Divine but it’s not a practice to receive guidance, 288 it’s a practice to always be in tune. It’s the practice of 289 meditation; the practice of silent God centered meditation, the 290 practice of right living, of right attitude. It’s always trying 291 to live as if I were the soul and not the body and the ego and 292 make all my decisions from that place as much as I can remember, 293 which of course is not always easy. The ideal is to make all my 294 decisions so that they reflect what I know to be true even when I 295 may instinctively be compelled to act out of harmony with what I 296 know to be true because of all the vrittis, all the whirlpools 297 of past karma in my spine, in myself. As soon as possible I try 298 to correct a mistake and I practice all the time. I myself was 299 born Jewish, and was raised in a Jewish family. I’m still Jewish 300 in the sense that I understand and embrace Judaism more than I 301 ever did when I was growing up, although I’m not what you would 302 call a practicing Jew because I have another practice. Because of 303 that I was always aware of the holocaust more than other people 304 and I used to contemplate what I would do if I were ever in a 305 concentration camp. I think it’s also a past life memory, not a 306 recurring nightmare kind of memory, just a fact of past lives. I 307 don’t know if it was this 20th Century holocaust, or just a 308 similar kind of experience that happened who knows when. Anyway, 309 I used to get into this movie scene where I’m in a crowd of 310 prisoners with one of those brutal guards. The person next to you 311 starts being brutalized by a guard and I have to decide: Do I 312 throw away my life for the sake of trying to save that person 313 even though it might be certain death for me? Do I allow it to

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314 happen? Can I stand by? What do you do? I used to run this tape, 315 not obsessively or neurotically but I would just wonder. At one 316 point I had the opportunity to ask Swami Kriyananda about this in 317 an informal Satsang. I explained the whole situation and I said, 318 “What’s the right thing to do?” His answer was so much broader 319 than I thought it would be. He said “What you’re really asking is 320 how do you know in a moment of crisis, just in an instant, what 321 God wants you to do? A human birth is not something to be lightly 322 discarded but protecting someone else is also an important value. 323 But perhaps by interfering you would create suffering for many 324 many people. Perhaps it’s better to let the one go rather than 325 having hundreds of people be punished. These are all the issues. 326 So only Superconsciousness, only the divine understanding could 327 tell you what would bring the most good for everyone in that 328 situation, and the only way you’ll know in a moment of crisis is 329 if you have practiced when it’s easier.” In other words, instead 330 of just going with one’s own selfish desires or one’s habits or 331 other people’s ideas at all times, one should always be stopping 332 and asking “What does God want here? What is trying to happen? 333 What will really be uplifting for everyone? What’s the best 334 solution?” It’s the constant practice of that, not in a way that 335 makes you socially obnoxious so that you can’t even go out to 336 dinner without making an existential crisis of it, but just 337 quietly in yourself always saying “What’s trying to happen, what 338 does God want?” Then it becomes natural. That’s why I was saying 339 that I don’t pursue guidance necessarily as an end in itself. 340 It’s always trying to do the right thing, the uplifting thing for 341 everyone including oneself. It’s not about self-sacrifice; it’s 342 upliftment. When you’re always trying to do the uplifting thing, 343 you begin to think that way at all times, and you begin to open a 344 doorway to a flow of energy that will save you in a crisis too. 345 [Reflecting on a past question, we continued] 346 You asked the question about how could you tell the different 347 voices when there are so many different voices inside of us. I 348 think it’s important to recognize also that guidance is 349 progressive and directional and not an either/or sort of 350 situation. Depending on what karma we’re born with, we often 351 begin our lives as the product of our environment. We have a set 352 of beliefs and attitudes not because we’ve contemplated them or 353 really self selected them, but just because they’re there. When I 354 was 19 years old, I was working in an office as a secretary and 355 there was a girl in our office who was getting married. I 356 gradually realized that everything she was doing, and even her 357 relationship with her future husband, she had gotten out of 358 magazines. In other words, she didn’t have any core of awareness 359 within herself from which to live. She just let everyone and

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360 everything around her tell her what to do. She’s always been the 361 archetypal example to me. The first thing people need to do is 362 just decide what they themselves feel and think about anything. 363 The first step towards Superconscious guidance would be selfish 364 ego will, just to have something that wasn’t from the outside. So 365 progressively we first have to become conscious of what’s going 366 on inside of us, whether it’s subconscious, Superconscious, ego, 367 selflessness; whatever it is we just need to know what it is and 368 we need to relate to it. If we have been prevented from doing so 369 by laziness, by wrong upbringing, by classically alcoholic 370 parents or something, and we don’t really have an inner self at 371 all, we have to get one. So it’s better to just be willful and 372 obnoxious and self-centered and listen to that voice rather than 373 to listen to all the voices around you. Then we need to gradually 374 pay attention to how we feel. Does this really bring me 375 happiness? Does this really make me feel expansive? Do these 376 decisions I’m making really conform to the wisdom of the ages? We 377 don’t have to be over scrupulous about that. In the Catholic 378 church they have a concept called “scrupulosity” which is where 379 you can become so anxious about any impulse you have that might 380 be displeasing to God that you become frozen. Many of the 381 impulses that we have in us that are just quote “our ego voice” 382 are also divinely guided because we need those experiences; 383 they’re very important. The best thing to do is to follow the 384 strongest and the best that you can feel and not worry too much 385 about which one it is, because just engaging is a teacher. The 386 way we often say it is “energy has it’s own intelligence,” 387 because if you follow an energetic course the experiences that 388 you have following that will teach you things that will in turn 389 lift your consciousness. When I first came and met Swami 390 Kriyananda and became involved with Ananda, which is what I’ve 391 done for almost 30 years now, I really wasn’t certain that this 392 was my path in the classical Indian sense, “Is this my guru, is 393 this my way?” because I had been devoted to another path, not as 394 deeply as this but nonetheless it had been sincere and true 395 guidance for me. So I became part of Ananda, I moved to the 396 community, the ashram, and I took initiation yet still on a 397 certain level I wasn’t certain. But I also knew that I couldn’t 398 be certain because I didn’t have the clarity of consciousness to 399 be certain, and if I sat and waited for certainty I would never 400 develop that clarity. But if I went forward sincerely acting the 401 best that I knew which was “This seems like a good idea, it’s the 402 best idea around. I know that Swami Kriyananda is a true teacher. 403 I know that Yogananda is a true master. What have I got to lose?” 404 I knew that if I acted with full commitment as if I were certain, 405 then my consciousness would change, and I would either come to a

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406 clear understanding that this is where I belonged or my practices 407 would elevate my consciousness to the point that I would be 408 guided to the next step. Then I just forgot about the conundrum 409 because it was irrelevant. I knew what to do in the moment; it 410 was irrelevant. After a year or two I just woke up one morning 411 with total clarity that of course this is where I belong, of 412 course this is my path, and that was that. I’ve never looked 413 back, I’ve never doubted for a second. But if I had let my doubt 414 rule me at the beginning I could have walked away from it because 415 I would have said, “Oh, I need to be clear first.” It was also 416 common sense. I didn’t have anything better to do. This was a 417 good thing to do and I couldn’t replace it with something better. 418 If I didn’t follow it I would be replacing it with something 419 worse . . . nothing. 420 Mark: Are there obstacles to following guidance, not just in 421 seeking? 422 008: There are many obstacles to following guidance. The biggest 423 one is one’s own self. The obstacles are usually the fact that 424 true guidance expands our consciousness, and if we’re expanding 425 our consciousness, there’s always the existing consciousness that 426 has to be pushed aside. It doesn’t have to be a big obstacle, it 427 can merely be the circumstances in which we work, but it 428 generally takes energy. You have to put out energy to move 429 forward. If a situation is set for whatever reason, whether it’s 430 set inside your head or your heart or your life, you have to 431 exert enough energy to move it and it has a certain amount of 432 energy to resist you. Truthfully, the obstacle is energy and 433 concentrating and focusing that energy. But if we learn and are 434 willing and are not afraid to put out energy, then the obstacles 435 are not great. Yogananda said, “There are no such things as 436 obstacles, there are only opportunities.” Just say, “These are the 437 conditions in which I have to work.” An obstacle is an attitude 438 of mind; energy is a fact. You have to put out energy, and 439 sometimes you have to put out a kind of energy you prefer not to 440 put out. 441 Mark: Could you talk about the fruits of the experience, what 442 following guidance brings into your life? 443 008: Following guidance brings everything to my life. It’s so 444 deeply satisfying to feel that your life is on track and that 445 you’re doing what you were born to do, and that you have the 446 courage to do what God wants you to do. You can think of it 447 merely as your Higher Self. I’m a devotee, so I think of God as 448 Divine Mother. But to know that you’re living up to what you were 449 born to do is so satisfying. A person will never be satisfied 450 doing less than or different than what they came here to do. It’s 451 so relaxing to know that you’re doing what you came to do, and

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452 the way you know that is if you’ve listened and responded. God 453 knows, most of us are really imperfect in this and I’m right up 454 there with the most imperfect. There are many things that I know 455 are mine to do that I haven’t yet been able to generate the 456 energy to do, so I don’t live in complete satisfaction. There’s a 457 little bit of an edge of knowing that more is asked of me that I 458 haven’t got to yet, but I don’t have any doubt about why I’m 459 here. That gives you so much strength in the midst of an ever- 460 shifting world and this world is really just a bed of quicksand; 461 you never know what’s going to happen. But if you’re centered in 462 yourself and centered in a flow of being right where God wants 463 you to be, doing right what God wants you to do, then you just 464 can’t be more secure than that. When we die it all goes away 465 anyway, and everything that mattered so much is gone, but what 466 you’ve been inside is what then matters because that’s all that 467 was ever happening anyway. So it’s an enormous antidote to fear 468 and insecurity. To be able to say “Well, I know that I’m doing 469 what God wants me to do.” What more can we ask? God is loving and 470 kind and more concerned with the sincerity of our intentions than 471 the perfection of our expression; so if we’re sincerely doing our 472 best to do what we know is right for us by God’s will, then 473 that’s it, we’re scoring 100 percent. 474 Mark: Do you consider following God’s will a process of 475 surrendering to that higher will? 476 008: Surrender is an interesting word and a good word. Swami 477 Kriyananda said he’s never been fond of it because it always 478 sounds like you don’t do it until you’re backed up against the 479 wall and have no choice. It is also related to the word defeat. 480 He’s always emphasized the word self-offering instead of 481 surrender, because if it’s self-offering there’s much more 482 implied. One implication is that it’s freely chosen. The other is 483 that you have to be a master of yourself before you can offer 484 yourself; you can’t give away that which you don’t own. That’s 485 why a lot of times we make all these extravagant promises and 486 then we don’t fulfill them because we can’t fulfill them. When we 487 offered our resolution we didn’t really own our energy, we just 488 owned a piece of it. Now it’s better to make great resolutions 489 and not keep them than it is not even to try. But sometimes we 490 can’t because we haven’t mastered our self enough to be able to 491 hold to it. The idea of surrender is also valid in addition to 492 self-offering because you’re giving up the lesser level for the 493 higher level. It’s in keeping with what Gandhi said, “Never give 494 up a pleasure until you have replaced it with something you enjoy 495 even more.” In other words, it can’t feel like depravation. Now 496 we live on many levels so you can feel deprived on one level and 497 deeply gratified on another, so it’s the deepest level that I’m

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498 talking about, that deep level of gratification. Sometimes when 499 you work out at the gym you don’t actually enjoy it but you’re 500 very pleased to be doing it. If our spiritual life feels like a 501 process of repression or deprivation it won’t work because sooner 502 or later we’ll rebel. So it’s better to just do exactly that 503 which you can do with joy. When Kriyananda was asked how much 504 discipline is enough discipline, he said “That which you can do 505 joyfully.” If you resent it or feel like God is your enemy, then 506 you’re doing too much, you need to back up. One particular 507 occasion I had a very difficult choice to make and I tried very 508 hard to follow the higher path as Swami Kriyananda had suggested 509 to me and as I myself felt it, and I failed. It was just beyond 510 me; I didn’t have it in me to do it. I said to Swamiji “You’ve 511 asked me to do these certain things and I’m not able to do them.” 512 He just smiled at me and said, “Well, so much for theory, let’s 513 work with reality.” There are always two ends to your choice. 514 There’s always the lowest possible and the highest possible and 515 no matter how far down or up you’ve gone, there’s still going to 516 be two choices. Let’s say you’re a person with a weight or a 517 chocolate problem. You can eat the entire box of bonbons or you 518 can leave one. You have that choice and you can just leave the 519 one and that’s your higher guidance for today. If you’re going to 520 just skip your meditation and sleep in, well, you can sit up in bed 521 and say “Aum, Aum, Aum Shanti, Amen.” That’s a higher choice 522 than just getting up and doing nothing. So in every situation you 523 can always face the right direction. As long as you’re facing the 524 right direction that’s enough. Of course you should move as much 525 as you can but forget theory, work with reality. If you really 526 feel deprived, don’t give it up because it won’t work. You have to 527 wait until you yourself understand that there’s no loss in this, 528 and if there’s no loss in it then you surrender it happily. 529 That’s the balance point, that’s the art. Swamiji often says, 530 “Spiritual practices are a science but the practice of them is an 531 art.” It’s not just saying that these are the rules; it’s how you 532 apply those rules, when you apply them, and what’s appropriate 533 for you . . . that’s the art of it. 534 Mark: When you’re in that moment and you’re faced with something 535 and you really feel like you have to seek guidance on this, what 536 do you do? 537 008: I seek guidance; I wait; I meditate on it. When I’m 538 meditating, I’ll bring the situation into my mediation, I’ll hold 539 it at the spiritual eye, and I’ll remind Divine Mother and the 540 masters that I pray to that we have a problem and I really don’t 541 know what to do and that they really do need to rescue me or else 542 there’s going to be a mess. I often don’t get any particular 543 answers, but I feel like I’ve done my part by asking. Then I just

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544 wait and almost always in the moment that it’s needed it comes. 545 So my way of seeking guidance is to constantly have faith that 546 there is an answer while constantly and inwardly reminding Divine 547 Mother that we need the answer, and then trusting that in the 548 course of things it will come out. For example, if there’s a 549 decision that has to be made in a group meeting or something, I’ll 550 say “Divine Mother, this is the moment of reckoning.” Almost 551 always, if it’s important, some feeling will come. It won’t 552 necessarily be from me, somebody else may suddenly have the 553 answer. It’s not always that I have to have the answer, it’s just 554 an answer is needed and some feeling will come. Sometimes the 555 only thing I can say is “I haven’t any idea what we should do” 556 and then it will just come from somewhere. 557 Mark: When you ask for an answer and are waiting for it to come, 558 are you listening and observing for signs? 559 008: Yes, I am listening and observing while I’m waiting all the 560 time. I have a very busy life, very highly scheduled and just 561 many, many, many constant demands. So I can’t stop everything and 562 wait for guidance, not the way my life is set up now. I know such 563 a thing could happen, I could find myself in an impasse in my 564 life where I really have to stop. But right now I just have to 565 keep going. I know as long as I’m putting out the right energy 566 that that’s my way of waiting, that’s my way of asking for 567 guidance. I continue in every part of my life to try to do the 568 right thing and that keeps my radio on and tuned to the right 569 station; then it will come. Part of the way to wait is not to be 570 anxious because to be anxious is a lack of faith. If I feel 571 myself becoming anxious, I discipline that anxiety as much as I 572 can because my anxiety would be a lack of faith and that would be 573 static on my radio to receive the answer. 574 Mark: Beautiful. Do you see any experiences or forces in your 575 life that have brought you to this path of seeking? 576 008: I think everything in my life has brought me to this path. 577 When I was in my mid-20s, I suddenly found myself a 578 Jewish girl living as a nun in this community out in the country, 579 and I was never was going to be married and have children which 580 had been the only thing I’d ever wanted, and I thought to myself 581 “How did I ever get here?” Then I really started trying to think 582 back over my life and I realized that certain things had always 583 been true about me and really I had been completely consistent on 584 the inside. What had happened is that I had become more and more 585 profound in my understanding of how to express what was in me so 586 the form kept changing. I remember that I always knew that no 587 matter what happened around me if things made me unhappy, if I 588 just kept going deeper and deeper inside, there was always a place 589 that was just fine no matter what was happening. That was how I

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590 would deal with childhood problems; I would withdraw to that 591 place where everything was just fine and then I could be detached 592 from whatever was disappointing me. I also had a profound 593 commitment to being happy but I recognized that my commitment to 594 being happy was very different from that of many other people 595 because I was willing to change in order to be happy. I 596 recognized that often it was I who had to shift in order for that 597 happiness to be there. I knew that that inner experience of 598 happiness was everything in life and nothing else really could 599 hold a candle to it. I always had to be following that rather 600 than following any other path. I also had a real strong 601 understanding that there wasn’t a lot of accomplishments that I 602 could have in this world that would really add to that happiness, 603 and that a lot of things that people told me would make me happy 604 would not make me happy. The only thing I could think of that 605 would really make me happy was to have children, to have human 606 love because it seemed expansive. I felt really confined, I just 607 felt like this can’t be all there is, so I thought if I had a 608 husband and a whole bunch of children I would feel less confined. 609 Then when I got into spiritual teachings I realized that for me 610 even having a whole bunch of children wouldn’t do it. I realized 611 that my confinement was on a much bigger level and was a fact of 612 consciousness, not of condition, so I ended up on the path of 613 Self-realization. 614 Mark: Does it feel like you’ve been guided all the time? 615 008: I have been guided so beautifully. I fall on my knees 616 everyday and thank God for it. I feel the hand of God has been on 617 my life. I’ve just been so fortunate in the opportunities that 618 have been given to me. There’s not a single day that I don’t know 619 that. I have no magical examples of it, things happen in an 620 “ordinary way.” But things have happened so wonderfully well, 621 I’ve been taken care of from the beginning. 622 Mark: Is there anything else that you’d like to express about this 623 subject? 624 008: I would like to tell people to relax a little bit about 625 divine guidance. Divine Mother is our friend; she’s not like a 626 really stern professor or something like that. Guidance is sweet; 627 it’s not scary. In fact I would say what Swami says, “It’s not 628 that hard.” It’s just being relaxed and open. Try to be a good 629 person and you’ll end up being guided. Guidance and goodness are 630 very closely related. If you purify your heart and just try to be 631 good, guidance comes automatically. Have the right intention; the 632 intention is to be an instrument of divine love. That doesn’t 633 mean to be a doormat or a wimp but to be an instrument of divine 634 love, to be on God’s side of the question and everything else 635 flows from that.

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636 Mark: If we could end with a prayer . . . 637 008: Heavenly Father, Divine Mother, Friend, Beloved God, Great 638 Gurus, Beloved Master, thank you for being with us today. May 639 what we have created together here be an instrument of light and 640 help other truth seeking souls to find their way back to their 641 home in spirit. Bless Mark and his family, Joshua and Michaela 642 and their mother that they might find the joy they are seeking in 643 one another through your presence and love. Aum, Peace, Amen. 644 Mark: Thank you very much. Beautiful.


1 009: (Hebrew prayer). Blessed are you Holy One who blesses the 2 years. Each day in the daily Amidah we ask for Kol Tevuatah all 3 of your blessings on all of our prosperity for the year, and may 4 this be a year C’shanim Hatovot, like the good years, because we 5 know that years are in cycles. Today is January 2nd of the year 6 2000 and we are on the edge of a shift of consciousness that is 7 comparable to the shift of consciousness that happened 2000 years 8 ago to the Jewish people. We ask for blessing. We ask that no 9 matter whose calendar you’re counting by, these be years—even if 10 it’s only our last 240 years in our 6,000 year cycle—that these 11 be years of plenty, years of peace, that will be reflected in our 12 thought patterns, in our ability to ask for unity and 13 commonalties and understandings in all of our different ways of 14 approaching both Judaism and the world around us. So may this be 15 an interview for peace and blessing at a time really of peace and 16 blessing. (Hebrew prayer) Blessed are you Holy One who blesses 17 the years. 18 Mark: Thank you. Could you please share a personal experience 19 that you have had in which you have sought, received, and followed 20 divine guidance? 21 009: I just told this story yesterday and it’s been on my mind 22 all day. A difficult moment of divine guidance happened to me the 23 year of my son’s Bar Mitzvah, which was in Jerusalem. I had been 24 involved for many years in the Sufi path with a teacher, and 25 although I maintained a life as a communal worker in a Jewish 26 community, I didn’t seek my spiritual guidance from Judaism. I 27 didn’t find it open and available to me, as is true for many of 28 my age. I was in Jerusalem to do his Bar Mitzvah at The Wall, and 29 in the afternoon after the Bar Mitzvah I had time to explore the 30 city. I went up to the temple mount and went to sit inside of Al 31 Aqsa, the Muslim holy space, to find myself a little space by a 32 window and just quietly do some Sufi practice, some breathing 33 meditation, connecting above and below, to really be in a focused 34 centered place as my deep connection to that world. I sat next to

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35 the window, and as soon as I settled myself in, some guard with 36 very big toes literally kicked me and said “Are you a Muslim?” It 37 caught me unaware and of course I said, “No, I’m not a Muslim.” I 38 could have just said yes, but I’m not; there’s a boundary. So he 39 said to me “Then you have to get out. You can only be here if 40 you’re a Muslim. You can’t pray here.” You can be a tourist but 41 you can’t be a pilgrim; it’s okay to go through as a tourist but 42 you can’t actually pray. I was just dumbfounded and I sort of 43 stumbled out the front door, lost and deeply hurt. I didn’t know 44 what to do with myself, and I stumbled off the mount and found 45 myself on the Via Delorosa. I heard the sound of singing, the 46 chanting of monks. I followed the noise to the Church of St. 47 Anne’s, which is all the way up to the top of the Via Delorosa. I 48 came into the courtyard and there was a whole pilgrimage of 49 Yugoslavian monks. No one spoke any language that I spoke or vice 50 versa. I just stood in back of them while they did these 51 incredible Gregorian chants and my soul lifted with these chants 52 and I followed the monks down the Via Delorosa. They sang at 53 every Station of the Cross and they understood that I was 54 connected in some way to the spirituality of what was happening 55 so they began to move me towards the front of the line and I had 56 no way to say no. They must have thought that I was a nun of some 57 kind because I was so into it. I was just overwhelmed by the 58 beauty. I stopped at each of the Stations of the Cross and I 59 really appreciated it. I got all of the way to the front of the 60 line and I am now leading the procession with some monk. We 61 walked into the Church of the Holy Sepulchre and they kneeled to 62 kiss the cross, they actually kneeled to kiss the stone that’s 63 there. Every boundary keeper in my being tells me I just 64 can’t do it; I’m a Jew, I can’t do it. So I stand up and I shake 65 my head and ran out of the church. I run out of the Church of the 66 Holy Sepulchre feeling like I’ve totally been dishonest to these 67 people and I’m in tears. I don’t know what to do. I sat outside 68 for a while and I decide, “I’m really Jewish.” I walked to the 69 wall. Unfortunately it’s not such an easy end to the story. I had 70 a little cape with me but at that moment it wasn’t enough and you 71 could see my elbows, and they wouldn’t let me go to the wall. I 72 argued with the guard and he said, “No, you can’t go in.” I 73 had nowhere to go and I sat on this ledge that overlooks the 74 plaza of the wall and I cried and I cried and I cried and I 75 cried. Then there was a very clear voice of divine guidance that 76 said, “Stop sniffling and do something about it. You need to be a 77 rabbi. You need to continue your studying and you need to do it 78 as a Jew. You can appreciate all that you participated in but you 79 really are Jewish and if those guys aren’t going to let you do 80 it, you’re going to have to figure out a way. Go home, study, and

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81 do whatever it is you’re really supposed to do from a deep place 82 and focus your attention.” So I did, and that was really the key 83 moment of my rabbinic journey as I look back on it. It was a very 84 difficult choice for me to make. I was really involved in a Sufi 85 path and to this day much of my inner spiritual life has 86 certainly been molded by other traditions. It enables me to 87 approach Judaism and ferret out the spiritual part. Of course for 88 me the joy has been to understand that the Halakhic dance, the 89 dance of how laws evolve in a Jewish context, is really a deeply 90 spiritual dance. It is an ever-moving dynamic process. I needed 91 to do it as a Jew because that’s who I am and that’s what I’m 92 born into. If Judaism needs to be redeemed as far as how much of 93 your elbow is seen, I guess I get to do that, and I am grateful 94 for that guidance. 95 Mark: Wonderful, thank you. When you followed what the voice 96 said, was it hard for you to follow that guidance? 97 009: It was conflicted. I maintained a connection with my Sufi 98 teacher up to the moment of my ordination. At that point, 99 although he was very supportive through the study process, he 100 asked me to do certain practices that would be antithetical to my 101 life as a Jewish teacher and I refused. This was my own inner 102 place of having to hold my path as a Jew. It wasn’t difficult 103 because the teachers whom I would resonate with were all teachers 104 who held a broad ecumenical edge. In so many ways it’s just 105 translation, realizing that they’re all saying the same thing. 106 I’m deeply, deeply moved by the stories of Rabbi Nahman (Green, 107 1992; Nahman, 1978; Steinsaltz, 1993). Those are really Sufi 108 stories in some way that just have different casts of characters 109 and like all sacred stories are imparting deep wisdom in a funny 110 tale. I resonate with the imagery of the Jewish story and so it 111 was not difficult. The surrender is the hard part; once you’ve 112 done the piece of surrender you just find the next piece. I think 113 that that’s been the process all along. Rather than a pursuing 114 for me, it’s been a surrender into it, and each time I reach the 115 next difficult choice, “oh, does this mean I give up X, Y, Z?” 116 there’s a surrender into the constrictions of what your life is 117 about. Everything from keeping kosher to what it means to be a 118 full time rabbi. There’s a lot of surrendering. 119 Mark: Could you describe what it was like when you heard the 120 voice? 121 009: Prophecy is not mine, and we have no thundering voices. I 122 will certainly credit the locale. As the old joke goes, it’s a 123 local call. It really is a local call and the voice is there all 124 the time. That voice of guidance is so easy to ignore because it 125 sounds like my own voice and my own self-guidance. I’ve heard the 126 voice at other times. At another point for instance, I had a

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127 practice of going to the Llama Foundation, which is an ecumenical 128 foundation outside of Taos, New Mexico where I lived for many, 129 many, many years. I was privileged to spend somewhere between five 130 and 10 days each year in a retreat hermitage that was at the top 131 of the Lama Mountain. It was probably the summer after I came 132 back from Israel. I had already been studying with Rabbi Omer-man 133 but now I was deeply into it but I had never met Rabbi Zalman 134 Schachter. There were oak trees along the sides of the path up 135 and I just could hear the wind speaking to me. I heard both 136 Zalman’s voice, who I didn’t really know at the time, and the 137 voice that was not my own, telling me that I needed to arrange to 138 see Zalman no matter what. I was very conscious of walking up 139 that mountain and hearing a voice in the wind. But primarily for 140 me, it’s a sifting process of all the voices in one’s head; 141 there’s a sense of inner alignment that turns down the radio on 142 all the rest of it. “How do you know when you know?” is really 143 the essential question, as opposed to “you’ve just lost it.” 144 Everyone asks this question because prophecy is not given to us 145 so easily. They say, “Ein navi c’Moshe, there are no more 146 prophets like Moses.” On a lesser level the best I’m going to get 147 are dreams. The Jewish test is interesting. You have to first 148 look at the voice and ask if it’s going to cause harm to anyone 149 or break any of the mitzvot, break any of the commandments; if 150 so, it’s false prophecy. But it’s tricky because sometimes 151 advances do break the commandments, so how do you really know? 152 That’s where you really need a teacher; you need to have a 153 mirror. Though the preparation is often done for years through 154 your own studies, at a certain point you must trust a teacher and 155 have an outer mirror to reflect back to you. Sometimes the 156 reflections are not pretty and are often filled with struggle and 157 denial. It isn’t just that you hear voices and go off and follow 158 them. There’s got to be a feedback process. Judaism is a communal 159 game. We have the example of Ezekiel sitting on the banks of the 160 River Khebar in Babylon, but there are very few of those stories 161 in Judaism. This is what makes it so difficult for us to return 162 to Judaism as mystical seekers. Yes, the Kabbalists certainly 163 made an art of it, but rarely alone. There are meditative 164 traditions and there are whole schools of how to chant in order 165 to achieve the voices and how to take the letters of name of God 166 and switch them back and forth to perhaps hit the divine 167 name . . . and bingo you’ve got the right answer. But that’s not 168 where we end up going finally. There’s a context to Judaism; it’s 169 a Torah context; it’s a prayer based context. It’s part of a 170 whole scene, as opposed to just a person on a mountain trying to 171 hear the voice of God. That’s what makes Judaism different in a 172 way. There’s a communal element that’s really strong; there’s a

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173 need to do mitzvot, to give back, to participate in the holiness 174 markers that make the world work, to remember that it’s Shabbos, 175 to remember to take care with tzedakah (charity), and to remember 176 to take care of your family. There’s not a lot of credit for 177 voices that you hear alone in the wilderness; that’s only the 178 beginning. Then you have to come back and actually participate in 179 communal life. 180 Mark: Are there forms of guidance in communal life? 181 009: There’s endless guidance. As Jews we’re given the Torah, 182 the ultimate piece of guidance. I wouldn’t want to say ours is 183 the only ultimate piece; other traditions also have an ultimate 184 piece of guidance. I think ours will turn out to hold the same 185 kernels as all the others. So the Torah is an incredible document 186 of truth that is flexible enough and deep enough to allow you to 187 find the guidance that you need. There is endless personal 188 guidance in the process of Torah. Judaism actually demands that 189 you read it once a week in a set pattern and I find that to be 190 the ultimate guidance. I am completely guided by the portion of 191 the week. It’s amazing how it’s always about current events. For 192 instance, we are at the end of this little millennium and the 193 last week’s Torah portion is the end of Genesis, the chapter of 194 VaYechi, which is the moment when Jacob pulls all his sons 195 together and says “Let me tell you what will happen, B’acharit 196 hayamim, in the end of days.” The brilliance of that piece of 197 Torah is that having gathered them together he then can’t tell 198 them. Either he sees and can’t tell or he’s distracted by his own 199 lower forces, and instead remembers about his sons. “I’m really 200 annoyed with you because you slept with your step-mother. That 201 was so tacky, you know you can’t do that.” Then turns to Shimeon 202 and Levi, who have done some powerfully violent things over the 203 matter of their sister Dinah, and says “You guys are written out 204 because violence is your weapon and I don’t want any part of 205 you guys.” It takes him three or four sons to get his good humor 206 back. He totally forgets to tell you what will happen at the end 207 of days; or as the midrash goes, he’s so overwhelmed at what he 208 sees that he can’t express it. In traditional Judaism the 209 Shekhinah, the holy presence, literally departs from his 210 deathbed. How does he lose it? It’s such a Jewish metaphor 211 because we may be given visions, we may hear voices, but we’re 212 often not allowed to share what we hear or to completely absorb 213 it because Judaism is about living the life you have. It’s like a 214 flickering candle; you get little pieces of guidance but you’re 215 not going to get something that says, “Hi, here’s your vision.” 216 It’s not quite so simple; the light goes on and off and we live 217 with shadows. We live with what my teacher Jonathan Omer-man 218 taught me about, which is about Reshimu, an impression, like the

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219 impression you make when you press on your hand. You have a 220 feeling of the experience but you don’t really hold the whole 221 thing. I think to be honest that’s much more the process. Faith 222 is knowing that it returns, that you’re not going to be left out 223 here without any guidance. There is a framework of guidance 224 within Judaism itself; even if one just simply takes daily prayer 225 in whatever way that works for you and reading the Torah portion 226 week after week, which alone will keep the questioning soul open. 227 Shabbos is a great gift because Shabbos asks that you return to 228 the source and have a day of being and not doing, a day once a 229 week of returning to a place of asking, “Where am I? Where are 230 we going?” That alone is Judaism’s gift for how to constantly 231 reinterpret the voice. 232 Mark: If it’s the Torah and the practices that are the guidance, then 233 is God still continually speaking to us? 234 009: I think God speaks all the time and we just don’t listen. I 235 think the core of Shema Yisrael is “Excuse me, I’m talking to you, 236 isn’t anybody paying attention?” I think that that voice is 237 always available. Often it’s the broken heart that will get us 238 there, either by extreme pain or by us being pushed to the place 239 where we’re going to go “ouch, ouch, okay I’ll listen.” Moments 240 of extreme joy will also get us there. The process of meditation 241 is designed to do that, but those of us who are meditators know 242 how difficult that is to actually do, to just sit down and be 243 quiet. The struggle that surrounds it is like Jacob wrestling 244 with the angel. There’s always a struggle to hear but it’s as if 245 God wants to wrestle with us as well. “What does it take for me 246 to get your attention” God says. So in this week’s Torah portion 247 the Jews cry out and God remembers. You want to tell me God 248 forgot? “I made this promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. You 249 guys are now in Egypt in slavery, of course I remember you. I 250 just needed you to play along and dance with me a little bit.” 251 There must be a dialogue. I personally do believe that the voice 252 is always there. The core of Shema Yisrael is that we’re asking 253 ourselves to listen, we’re asking God to listen, and God is 254 asking us to listen. The one word we all know is shema, which 255 means “listen.” 256 Mark: Could you talk about the obstacles we have between this 257 listening and us? 258 009: I think it is our ego. I think that we are so self- 259 protective of who we need to know we are. It’s subtle because we 260 are constantly reconfiguring who we are. We’re being asked for 261 the dial to shift just slightly while we hold a sense of 262 ourselves at the same time, and just when we get it together it 263 gets blown apart. “I’m not what I thought I was, the people that 264 I’m in relationship with are not who I thought they were.” It is

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265 an ever-shifting dynamic game to be part of life. The physical 266 obstacles that show up are inevitable as well. I turn around 267 every Shabbos morning now and ask “Is anyone having a smooth 268 path for the week?” There’s never a smooth path and we’re always 269 so outraged when our kids get sick, when we lose our jobs. “It’s 270 deeply unfair, I’m a good person, why would this happen to me, 271 why would I get cancer?” Well, the reality is that this is a very 272 rocky road. We can be grateful for the moments of stasis, but it 273 is an endless yredah v’aliyah, it’s a decent and an ascent, and a 274 decent and an ascent. It’s like the hills of San Francisco; this 275 is not Kansas, it’s not a flat landscape. But it is not 276 fundamentalist, it is not two colors; the subtleties of shifts 277 are where we find the spiritual life. It’s being able to see the 278 subtlety of the shift, to be able to understand our own growth 279 subtly and not to beat ourselves up because we didn’t become this 280 enlightened person. I work on translating the prayer books and 281 the prayers in the morning so that I really understand them and 282 find those little minute differences like the difference between 283 fear and awe, or between who’s blessing whom “Barukh atah 284 Adonai . . . ” who am I to bless God? The subtleties are where we see 285 the change. It the same for our inner being; it’s subtle for me 286 and for those around me. Everyone wanted the Messiah to come 287 yesterday. Well, maybe the Messiah did come yesterday. Look at all 288 those celebrations around the world: look at everybody taking a 289 moment to dance, and people not blowing each other up, balloons 290 and lights and color and blessings. Maybe that’s a Messianic 291 moment. Really appreciate the subtlety of the shift. 292 Mark: Do you consider prayers and rituals part of the 293 preparation process for being able to hear and connect? 294 009: Definitely. 295 Mark: Are there other tools? 296 009: Prayer is the opening of our conversation. If we are 297 successful we really are in dialogue. Prayer is such an 298 interesting process. Jewish prayer is based on either prayer that 299 is kevah, that is fixed, or prayer that is kavanah, prayer that 300 is prayer of the heart. It’s very difficult for us to do prayer 301 that is kevah because it’s somebody else’s language, yet if we 302 are deeply involved in the language long enough it is our 303 language. The prayers that have remained as the core prayers of 304 Judaism truly have accessed the essential things we want to say 305 “Thank you God, thank you for the morning, thank you for giving 306 me my body back, thank you for the openings and closings of this 307 body, thank you for allowing me to understand the difference 308 between night and day.” We all get together and pray barkhu, 309 listen. I’m in a context of my ancestors as I stand here and talk 310 to God. If it’s a weekday I have a few things I want to ask for;

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311 the same things everybody asks for, for health, for return to 312 D’vir Betecha, our holy temple or the internal place of our soul. 313 We’re asking for the same thing every time: “Bring us back to a 314 place of alignment with what is true and holy. Help us lead a 315 holy life. Remember that I’m not doing this alone but that you’re 316 dancing with me God. Aleynu lishabach, it’s ours to praise you. 317 You are magnificent hence I say Kaddish.” That little prayer 318 pattern is fixed. The question is how do I weave the prayers of 319 my heart into there and make it ultimately one piece? It’s an 320 opening for connection but also it is ultimately “the 321 connection.” What makes it difficult is you need to do it with 322 other people. Judaism ultimately will not give you a lot of 323 credit for going off and doing it by yourself. But we all want to 324 go on our mountaintop and be seekers. We want that space; we want 325 meditation; we want to go in there. It’s a yes/and; whether that 326 yes/and is done by becoming a teacher, by gathering a community, 327 by being the student, by surrender into the community, or by 328 surrendering to a fixed prayer process. It is not given to us as 329 something we inherently understand easily. It was easier for the 330 rabbis who made kevah prayer to understand the prayers because it 331 was the language that they used. Jewish renewal has been 332 wonderful in breaking apart those prayers so that we can say, 333 “yes, this really means . . . .” But ultimately they had it, so we’re 334 going to go back to the essence of what they said, “Blessed are 335 you Holy One who brings on the changes in the seasons or who got 336 us to this time or who brings back the days of old.” The longer 337 you do prayer the better the resonance and ritual especially 338 opens us up. I can’t imagine a life led without ritual; it has to 339 be so difficult and so dry. Through ritual we mark the holiness 340 of times. The Jewish calendar is such a gift because, except for 341 the month of November, it’s got one holiday a month, to say 342 nothing of Shabbos. As you are tuned into the seasonal cyclical 343 change, each ritual in its details actually brings the opening. 344 There is a proper way to set a holiday table or to light a 345 Hanukkah candle or to make sure that the Kiddush happens. 346 Mark: How do these forms of communal prayer and ritual open us 347 up to hear the guidance? 348 009: When you’re in a house and you set the table for dinner you 349 could just order Chinese take-out and throw it all out on the 350 table and eat it out of the Chinese food containers or bring in a 351 cooked chicken from your local supermarket and eat it out of the 352 styrofoam that it came in, or it’s Shabbos and you are actually 353 going to set that table; it’s the same meal, same nourishment; 354 what difference does it make? When you sit down to a Shabbos 355 meal with that same little piece of chicken that’s been slipped 356 home from the supermarket and you’ve made it Shabbos and

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357 presented it in a Shabbos atmosphere, it is going to be a 358 different meal experience. It’s the same thing with approaching 359 that inner space where you say, “I want to make my home.” In 360 Judaism we say “m’kdash m’aat,” a small altar, imagining the 361 altar in the holy temple. I want to make holy space here. How we 362 make holy space is done primarily through ritual. The process of 363 ritual first of all brings you to a place of attention; you have 364 to pay attention to the details. You are focused and you’re 365 present. It’s very hard to light a Shabbos candle and not take a 366 moment of being present. How many times do you reach for a glass 367 of wine and drink it and you’re totally unfocused? But take a 368 moment and say a prayer, “Barukh atah Adonai Eloheynu melekh ha- 369 olam, borey p’ri ha-gafen” and at that moment there’s got to be a 370 little connection. When you go to do an interview, you very 371 carefully set up your camera and set your lights and make sure 372 that you’re in the right place, and my answers to you will be 373 measured and careful as opposed to if we sit on the couch and 374 just chat. Now chatting will also do and you’re going to get 375 there probably, but it’s a set up. You are making a space for the 376 Holy One to dwell, which is really what you do when you create 377 the Mishkan or the holy temple. God says, “Make me a space and 378 I’ll dwell within you.” When you do a ritual you make a space. 379 Now what happens is we often make the space and think the space 380 is the connection and so we don’t hang out long enough. I’ve 381 reached the place where I’m real stubborn, “I’m going to stay 382 here until Shekhinah shows up. That’s why we did this, and 383 Shekhinah needs to show up for the party.” Most of the time it 384 will happen because what will make it happen is the surrender of 385 everyone else in the room. There needs to be a mass number; even 386 if it’s the two of us, we both need to be there. If it’s a 387 Shabbos morning, everyone sitting around in the room discussing 388 the piece of Torah needs to settle into, “we are willing to 389 really hear it, willing to really be there for a minute.” The 390 veil is actually very thin. It’s not all that hard to bring the 391 Holy One into a space. It’s a release process not a grabbing 392 process. The ritual holds the space for you. Each Jewish ritual 393 is specifically tuned: “This is Shavuot, we’re going to take the 394 Torah out in a certain way. This is Simhat Torah, and we’re going 395 to take the Torah out in a different way and rejoice on a 396 different wavelength that’s going to be rowdy and raucous and we’re 397 going to run around the room as opposed to this is Shavuot and at 398 midnight we’re going to take this out and just be in a space with 399 the Torah. I don’t have to make up a ritual; you just do it. 400 That’s why we say, “Elohanu velohay A’votanu v’emotenu, God of 401 our Mothers and our Fathers.” We are passed the ritual legacy 402 that enables us to find the road map.

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403 Mark: Do you seek guidance outside of the communal practice when 404 you’re in your daily life driving a car or doing something else? 405 009: Of course, we always ask God to find the car keys. 406 Mark: Or find you a parking spot. 407 009: I know it’s really tacky to ask the Angel of Parking Spaces 408 to show up but I must admit that I’m not adverse to calling on 409 whatever good deeds I may have done over the last week. 410 Sometimes the Angel of Parking Spaces does show and I always say 411 thank you to the Angel of Parking Spaces. I know he’s a very 412 special angel and his one job in life is to just find me parking 413 spaces. Unfortunately that angel’s very busy, he also works for a 414 lot of other people and so you have to be careful. (Laughter) 415 That’s the goal isn’t it, that we breathe with it and that we 416 just resonate in that space of holiness. Does it really work? It 417 depends on how much I’m willing to listen, and how conscious I’m 418 willing to be, and how difficult it is for me to shut off the 419 rest of the noise inside of my head, and how unconscious I 420 actually become as I get spun into other people’s melodramas as 421 well as my own. It’s just a constant dance. The good part is that 422 you have the tools to go “oh, I’m really way off here, I’ve really 423 lost it, I’m so angry or I’m just so resentful about this person, 424 or I’m so out of compassion with the being in front of me, or I’m 425 so pushy in this line or I’m just you know so . . . .” As far as being 426 off center, most moments of the day are a disaster. 427 Mark: When you’re off center, how do you get back? 428 009: That’s where having a process really works. First of all 429 you at least know where you are. I teach a great Rabbi Nachman 430 story as the core piece of my teaching. It’s a story called “The 431 Lost Princess” (Nahman, 1978). The key question in the story is 432 “where in the world am I?” I think we have to ask that a lot 433 during the day. “Where in the world am I?” Now I’ll admit that I 434 don’t have a practice where I pray three times a day. I’m sorry 435 that I don’t. I pray in other ways but it’s not as good as if I 436 prayed three times a day and stopped my world. Again I forgive 437 myself for being in that place because we’re all in transition. 438 We’re all on the path. Few of us are actually there. I’m just on 439 the path like everybody else. Sometimes I’m able to turn around 440 and lend a hand to somebody in back of me but I also expect those 441 in front of me to pull me up and know how to ask for that 442 guidance. But most of the time it’s just this on-the-path dance. 443 At the least you need a place for you to stop and say “where in 444 the world am I, what am I doing?” 445 Mark: Do you stop and ask that question? 446 009: I do ask that question, I do. Sometimes I have to get hit 447 up on the side of the head in order to ask it. 448 Mark: What happens when you ask that question?

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449 009: There’s a moment of centering and a moment of quiet. 450 Usually at this point I could get myself into the place of 451 blessing. I could look outside, and realize the context of the 452 world that I live in and that I’m privileged to live near the 453 ocean. It’s very difficult to ignore the bounty that we’re given 454 constantly. That’s why traditionally Jews do a hundred blessings 455 a day. Whether I do it consciously or unconsciously I think I do 456 a hundred blessings a day. Look at the sunshine this morning. I’m 457 really thankful that I am not homeless, that I have a daughter 458 whom I’m visiting at this moment and whom I adore, that I have a 459 chance to speak my truth and to hear it as I speak it to remind 460 myself. Every moment is different, and it’s definitely an ever- 461 moving target to be present and to be aligned. Ultimately, we’re 462 looking for alignment with that which is true. How do you know 463 it? You know it because your inner being knows it is at peace. 464 Harmonically you are aligned when both your inner being and your 465 understanding of the outer teachings come together. For example, 466 I’m at my daughter’s house right now. Everything in me knows I 467 love my child but there’s also an outer teaching that says, “one 468 needs to be attentive to the needs of one’s child.” The exchange 469 between parent and child is at the core of Judaism, “we honor our 470 parents as we are honored.” So if we’re not honoring, we’re going 471 to know we’re out of alignment. 472 Mark: What is that knowing of being out of alignment like? 473 009: It’s like having a thorn. When we’re unconscious it doesn’t 474 bother us. Many of us really have major issues with our parents 475 because parents in the process of parenting will have brought 476 hurt; otherwise we would not grow. They are probably the conduits 477 for the most pain we have because we don’t get to just hang out 478 there and be fed and cuddled all day. It would be a great thing 479 but it’s kind of time consuming for the parent. So in that process 480 there’s a thorn and we all have them. We are all children of 481 someone even if we’re not parents of someone. That’s an easy 482 place to look for where to do the work. 483 Mark: And pulling out the thorns? 484 009: Judaism is very clever for pulling out the thorns. The two 485 core commandments of the Ten Commandments are “Honor your 486 parents” and “Honor the Shabbat.” Honor the Shabbat put in a 487 global context is, “Go back to your source.” Remember and observe 488 the Shabbat is actually the two ways it’s translated. “Shamor 489 v’zakhor b’dibur echad,” we sing in Lekha dodi, remember and 490 observe. Then we have Chabed, honor, not love, honor your 491 parents, your mother and father. They actually put them both in 492 there. These two commandments alone will keep you occupied and 493 will help to be the groundwork for where to realign your life. 494 Every one of us deals with some kind of parent issue whether

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495 those parents are alive or on a different plane, because we are 496 the legacy of who they are. Every one of us deals with the 497 Shabbat or the lack of it. Suddenly America has discovered that 498 everybody works too long and too hard. It’s big news that we’re 499 now working 12 to 15 hour days. How come your basic 500 young lawyer goes to work at 8:00 a.m. in the morning and comes home 501 at 10:00 p.m. at night? Then you want to check your email. 502 Something’s wrong; that’s out of alignment. How do we fix that in 503 the context of our modern world? These commandments are pieces of 504 guidance; it’s not a historical study. How do I make Shabbos in 505 my life? I have to turn the computer off, and no shopping means 506 no shopping, not even on e-bay. This is where it’s fairly easy to 507 see the core of Judaism as a guide. 508 Mark: So the sacred texts have the guidance in there? 509 009: Sacred texts actually have given you everything you need. 510 The problem is we can’t read them because we have resistance. “I 511 had a horrible Hebrew school education so I hate it. Somebody 512 picked on me and made me feel like an idiot, I don’t want to go 513 there. I don’t want to go into a synagogue because I feel 514 stupid.” I think that’s the basic issue. 515 Mark: What about, for example, the issue of resistance that comes 516 up when reading in the sacred text about slaughtering hundreds of 517 people in the name of God? 518 009: We’re left with some pretty irredeemable pieces. We’re left 519 with cultural contexts that we don’t understand, not that our 520 current world does not slaughter hundreds of thousands of people 521 in the name of a country much less in the name of God. I had this 522 vision that we’d go into this next phase where actually killing 523 another human being would be like sacrificing a child; you just 524 wouldn’t do that. We’re definitely not there yet, so that part of 525 God, that we either project or reflect, is still with us. There 526 are places in the Torah, especially Deuteronomy, where you go 527 “ach, I don’t want to go there, I don’t want to own that piece of 528 Torah.” There are very few but there are a couple pieces of Torah 529 where you just go “that’s not my God, that’s not the God that 530 talks to me, and I’m not in a relationship with that particular 531 facet of God’s face.” Is there vengeance in the world? Yes, there 532 probably is. Is there evil in the world, and is that evil 533 to be wiped out? This is what those stories are about, about 534 wiping out Amalek, who represents evil. I think there is real 535 evil in the world and I think we’re soft on ourselves and we’re 536 deluded if we think that evil, pure evil doesn’t exist. It does 537 exist and we’ve seen it certainly in this generation. My 538 generation is still surviving that evil which marks all of 539 Judaism at this point in history. All Judaism in the second half 540 of the 20th Century is a reaction to the holocaust. There is no

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541 way to have a conversation with a group of Jews for more than 542 three questions without it becoming a holocaust question, and 543 that’s because evil exists. The God of vengeance is dealing with 544 evil and I can understand that part of it. I may not have thought 545 the Midianites were so evil, I may have disagreed with the 546 political take on them, but I have to admit that there is a fight 547 between the forces of light and darkness on some great cosmic 548 level that will endlessly recycle. There’s a God that on some 549 level, if one takes it on the outer level of God’s Torah story, 550 not the inner level, who is dealing with this in a way by saying 551 “no, no, no, if you allow that kind of evil to exist it will just 552 sprout up some place else. This is the Hydra; you need to cut all 553 its heads off.” I can understand that. This is not the God that 554 I like to relate to most. “Adonai, Adonai, el rachum v’chanun, 555 God of mercy and kindness, erech apayim v’rav chesed ve emet.” 556 The 13 attributes of God are primarily attributes of loving- 557 kindness. The scale is tipped, just as the scales of 558 righteousness are tipped to the side of loving-kindness, but it 559 doesn’t abnegate the side of strict justice when necessary. 560 Mark: How has living a life in alignment with guidance affected 561 your life? What are its fruits? 562 009: Its fruits are a lot of happiness, a lot of satisfaction, 563 and a feeling that one is surrounded by an exchange of energy 564 that’s often very good. There is some deep loneliness, long 565 periods of time when you feel there’s no one who really 566 understands you, feeling always that one is perhaps out of 567 alignment with social expectations. It is not easy to do it as a 568 Jewish lady rabbi. It isn’t just the outside orthodox world that 569 makes it difficult but the inside voice in my head that says “who 570 do you think you are, and what tells you to go there? You’re not 571 really a rabbi.” Who knows what it really, really means? I have 572 no answers on that level. I am in a constant inner dialogue with 573 the place that would destroy my rabbi-hood because I feel it 574 doesn’t match the context of what rabbi is. At the same time I 575 honor myself deeply as a teacher. I see the effect of my teaching 576 and I am grateful for the Shekhinah, which shows up and guides 577 me. But it’s a struggle. Judaism is not about achieving peace and 578 happiness but about teshuvah, about constantly turning and 579 returning to the place of alignment. I do feel my life is a life 580 of teshuvah; that I’m totally off and I’m back, and I’m totally 581 off and I’m back again. I feel my life is full with living, I’m a 582 person who likes to sing and dance. I feel very blessed to be a 583 person who is very full of life and to see that life reflected in 584 all its highs and lows around me. I am often way off the mark. I 585 am not in any way a role model. I just realize that the turning 586 is constant. It never means that you won’t go through the

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587 struggle. You can’t just say “okay God, I got that one, can we 588 skip the next lesson?” because you probably didn’t get it deeply 589 enough the first time, so we’re going to have to hit you up on 590 the side of the head again. In the long run this is it; this is 591 not a dress rehearsal. At this point in my life I really deeply 592 enjoy the dance. I enjoy it. That doesn’t mean I’m not wracked 593 with pain often over my inabilities or my lack of connections or 594 feeling that God doesn’t hear me or I don’t hear God. But there 595 are constant reminders that this is a good dance. I’m very 596 grateful for my life. I’m grateful for those who fill it and for 597 the people I haven’t met yet. 598 Mark: Could you speak about when the presence of the Shekhinah 599 shows up? 600 009: The Shekhinah is here this morning. [Videotape runs out and 601 camera turns off, making a beeping sound] That little sound must 602 be her ringing the doorbell. There’s a place we make by saying 603 “I’ll wait around here until Shekhinah shows up” which basically 604 means we’re going to elevate this conversation to the place that 605 is speaking from an open heart where divine guidance will flow 606 through us and make a space for the Holy One to dwell. That place 607 is real; you know it when the Divine Presence sits in the room 608 and when the Divine Presence doesn’t sit in the room. Often we 609 walk into religious events and the Divine Presence wouldn’t dare 610 show up in that room, and then there can be just two people 611 sharing a cup of coffee and their souls and of course Shekhinah 612 shows up. It’s a sense that you learn how to nurture by just 613 shutting down your own resistances and opening one’s heart to the 614 third force, a force of Divine presence and truth. We are 615 constantly in relationship to a third; in any duo there is a 616 third. The third becomes a minyan. They say you know you need a 617 minyan (a quorum of ten people needed for public worship) for the 618 Divine Presence to come. But there’s the minyan as a unity, a 619 collective of Judaism. We have dialogue in order to bring in the 620 I-Thou place. You decide either to invite the Shekhinah to your 621 party or not. All of our lives are lived in reflection of God’s 622 holiness but we have to make the space. Clean up your apartment 623 so God can come visit. God says, “Make me a dwelling place, a 624 little apartment, and I’ll come and visit your guest room.” I 625 guess my life is about making sure that God has a guest room and 626 I would like that guest room to be used often. 627 Prayer: Baruch atah Adonai Elohenu melech ha’olam, ha’machazir 628 shechinato l’tzion. Blessed is You Holy One who brings back the 629 Shekhinah to Jerusalem. May we all be blessed to have the 630 Shekhinah, the holy presence, come visit us. Y’varechecla Adonai 631 v’ysh marecha. May that Shekhinah bless you and keep you. Y’air 632 Adonai panav elecha, v’kunecha. May God cause Her holy

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633 countenance to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. Esa 634 Adonai panav elecha, v’y’sem l’cha shalom. May She turn to you 635 and smile and enfold you in a mantle of peace. Amen.

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Appendix K: Interview Observation Notes

The following are numbered text versions of the complete transcripts for the

Researcher Observation Notes from the Coresearcher interviews conducted during this

study. These notes were recorded on audiotape after each interview, then transcribed and

numbered for data analysis.

Coresearcher 001 Interview Observation Notes (ION:001)

Observation notes for interview with Coresearcher 001 held on October 14, 1999

from 4:00 p.m. to 6:15 p.m.

1 In the beginning when I came to the door, he asked if I was 2 allergic to cats and I said “yes.” He responded with “oh my, we 3 have cats.” He told me that his wife is using the office where 4 the cats aren’t allowed. After an awkward moment, we decided it 5 might be best for us to reschedule. As we were rescheduling our 6 interview, the phone rang and the wife’s appointment canceled. We 7 both looked at each other and smiled. After discussing the 8 wonderful moment of seemingly divine intervention, we decided to 9 go ahead with the interview in the office that was now available. 10 When we walked into the room I began to focus my attention on the 11 technical issues involved in setting up the equipment, noticing 12 things like a lack of good light and dark walls. I became 13 conscious of being torn between my attention to my coresearcher 14 and to the technology. I took a breath and received guidance that 15 I needed to find a balance between them and that I would have to 16 surrender some of my technical perfectionism. As I did that I 17 softened into the experience. 18 At the beginning of our interview I started to get worried that 19 his answers were taking too long, that we were meandering, and 20 that what he was saying wasn’t going to answer my questions. Then 21 I received clear guidance, an inner voice said, “Just let go; 22 just be here.” It became clear to me that I needed to let go of 23 what I wanted or expected from this encounter and surrender into 24 the sacred moment and to be here for this being and let him share 25 his essence and story. Toward the end of our interview I looked 26 at my questions and realized that he had answered most of them. 27 Only three of them needed additional clarification but 28 essentially he answered all the questions. 29 Emotionally I noticed a little anxiety because this was my first 30 interview. I went through waves of feeling intimate and then

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31 feeling distant. Usually the distance happened when I started to 32 be aware of the equipment. I also found myself starting to sync 33 up with what he was saying. For example, during the sharing of his 34 deep emotional stuff, I found myself sinking into my own feelings, 35 and when we went into the intellectual stuff I found myself 36 heading up into my head as well and not really being connected to 37 my feelings. So I was kind of emotionally resonating with the 38 flow of the conversion. 39 Intuitive responses to the situation: There were several 40 instances of intuition. When I was assessing the room lighting I 41 suddenly saw how all the different floor lamps could be set up as 42 if the space was a studio and I did that and it worked. 43 Intuitively there were some questions I asked that just felt 44 right and I don’t know if that was intuition or guidance but 45 basically there were questions that arose from within me. Also I 46 got the gift of creative inspiration and understanding about the 47 whole concept of beingness combined with will. We’re not just a 48 benign, nondual being or ground of being, but we’re a ground of 49 being with intentionality and will. Kind of like the Ein Sof 50 wanting to share its essence so it contracted into a point. I 51 shared that at the end with my coresearcher. We also talked 52 about how it felt right for us to do this because we had run into 53 each other several times, and he was exploring call and I was 54 exploring call. So it was the right thing, we both felt called to 55 this moment. 56 Patterns of experiences rising out of this situation: I noticed 57 a lot of similarities between our two journeys. For example, both 58 of our initial experiences of being called were followed by 59 episodes of darkness. All during our interview I got the sense 60 that a lot of the patterns of experience he was talking about 61 were similar to my own and to the readings. 62 One thing to note was the way he described how he experiences the 63 guidance as an invitation, like an opening to this direction. 64 This was really quite wonderful. It’s not quite how I would have 65 put it or how I have thought about it but when he said it 66 resonated with my own experience. 67 Expectations or assumptions that arose: Yes, there were a lot . . . 68 I was working with a lot of expectations about what I wanted 69 him to say; and what I thought I needed for the videotape and 70 then for the dissertation. I found myself going through waves of 71 feeling the expectation and then surrendering it. Usually 72 when I surrendered into the experience he would answer the 73 questions I wanted to be answered and hit a deeper level. 74 I have a sense of having received needed lessons or gifts from 75 this encounter: The gift of beginning, beginning with someone who 76 God has connected me with, with someone whom I sense is on a

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77 parallel path to my own; I received the gift of understanding 78 more that quality of invitation in my life. The whole issue 79 of will was a beautiful gift. This idea of being spiritual and 80 connected and surrendering combined with will; it’s not just 81 opening my hands and waiting for God to do something, but it’s a 82 surrendering with an action, with a willingness and willfulness 83 to act on what I receive. 84 Also, at the end after we ran out of tape, we were both talking 85 about our experiences with how we connect with the divine by 86 doing actions that imitate its reality. For example, when I do a 87 loving act of kindness, I get a sense of connection to the divine 88 because I am in a state that is similar to its being. The 89 coresearcher was saying that for him it was an act of heroism or an 90 act of courage or an act of faith. As we act in these ways we get 91 closer to the divine by imitating its qualities. 92 Physical responses: I had some anxious nervousness in my 93 stomach. I still have a little bit of it. I noticed my whole body 94 feeling light and floating except my stomach and that was an area 95 of tension all the way throughout. I was able to hold that and be 96 okay with that. I noticed as he showed signs of physical tension 97 like crossing legs or shaking his foot I also had similar 98 experiences. So there was this kind of sympathetic physical 99 response going on. I’m noting I have to go to the bathroom and 100 eat, so I am going to listen to my body. 101 A technical note: Once the camera was over, the hour tape was 102 done, we continued on the audiotape. So there’s more on the 103 audiotape than on the camera.



between 2:40 p.m. and 3:35 p.m.

1 I showed up at around 2:00 p.m. I set up and we started talking at 2 around 2:40 p.m., finished at 3:35 p.m. 3 Technical Note: It looks like both the sound and the camera are 4 fine. As in the first interview, the audio recording is longer 5 than the video recording. 6 Personal physical responses: I was anxious before I got here but 7 when I arrived, the atmosphere brought me into a state of peace 8 and reverence. It was interesting to note that in our 9 conversation, the coresearcher talked about how clothing and 10 atmosphere helped him to be in a centered place to receive 11 guidance. 12 Personal mental responses: As he was talking I noticed myself

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13 fluctuating between “oh, this is good, this is good, this is good” 14 or “oh, this is off, this is off, this is not going to help, what 15 can I do?” I kept returning myself back to center and just trying 16 to be there in the sacred moment. 17 Emotional responses: Not sure. I felt a warmth, a feeling of 18 invitation, a feeling of equality. I felt fairly centered 19 emotionally. 20 Intuitive responses: I had a lot of intuitive questions coming 21 up or guided questions coming up, and a lot of questions from my 22 own experience. A couple points during the conversation I found 23 myself caught between the expectations of what I wanted or what I 24 expected him to talk about and what he was talking about. As in 25 yesterday’s interview, when I surrendered my own expectations the 26 interview shifted into meaningful dialogue. 27 Personal guidance received: As I said, the questions just seemed 28 to come to me. Also there were a couple times when I felt like 29 what he was talking about was slowly opening up something inside 30 me and it was the opening to a question. This reminds me of the 31 invitation process mentioned by the first coresearcher. 32 Creative inspirations: At the beginning, when I was setting up, 33 I started to get more into the lighting and the setting up of the 34 location, the atmosphere, creating a sacred space with the 35 camera. 36 Expectations and assumptions: I expected him to talk more about 37 guidance in his own life. It was interesting that he discussed 38 that most of his guidance occurs when he’s in a situation of 39 guiding others. I assumed that when one guides others they also 40 use it for themselves . . . so that’s an assumption that I had that is 41 not necessarily true. 42 A sense of having received needed lessons or gifts from the 43 encounter: I learned a lot about Sufism in terms of 44 transmission. I love the idea that it starts from the divine 45 Source, comes through Muhammad, the teachers, and the disciples 46 in this pipeline or chain of guidance. That’s very beautiful. It 47 also helps explain how sacred writing is held as a form of 48 guidance, and how the teachings are a transmission from the 49 Source. I also like the idea that if you study the sacred 50 teachings and repeat them over and over again you’re channeling 51 that Source. 52 At the end, as we were walking out, we were talking about how 53 wearing certain clothing and using certain objects can call us 54 into a sacred state. This was a confirmation of my own experience 55 of wearing a headpiece and a prayer shawl under my clothing; it 56 does bring me to that place more easily. So both for myself and 57 for the coresearcher, external objects can be very powerful 58 tools to aid one in accessing guidance.

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59 The coresearcher had to leave early and he left me the keys to 60 lock up their home.



between 11:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m.

1 I don’t have my references to go over each point for the 2 observation notes, which is interesting because overall it’s 3 hard to discern anything right now because I was in an altered 4 state throughout the interview. The experience of seeing her 5 again, of coming back into her presence, and experiencing her 6 rattling around me was very moving. After I got out of my car, I 7 saw her walking toward me. We walked up to each other and I was 8 about to hug her when she stopped me and rattled all around me. 9 From that moment on I was in an altered state. 10 As she showed me around her house I met her husband and their 11 dog. We walked around the house and grounds to sense a space 12 where we should talk. We ended up under the teepee in her yard. 13 The skins had just been taken down and only the poles were left 14 standing. 15 Before the interview and when I arrived this morning, she kept 16 saying, “I have the whole day, don’t worry about time. Don’t 17 worry about time.” Yet I was always worrying about time. Today 18 was a great lesson in time. When we scheduled the interview she 19 said 10:00 a.m., I said 10:30 a.m. because of traffic. Then when I 20 started driving I ran into the worst traffic I had seen in 21 awhile, and I got there at 11:00 a.m. Then during the interview I 22 used two tapes of video for her and two audiotapes. As we were 23 talking I kept thinking, “oh, this is too long, I’m imposing on 24 her.” Yet I just kept feeling like we had to keep going. I hadn’t 25 eaten and it felt like I didn’t need to eat. 26 I felt a sacredness about the entire process and I experienced 27 what she was talking about in relation to how the spirits can 28 move you; how you could have your own thoughts in direct conflict 29 with the guidance of the spirits. This is what I experienced when 30 my mind kept telling me to speed things up because I am imposing, 31 while a powerful inner force literally pushed me to keep going. 32 So I was actually experiencing what she was talking about as she 33 was talking about it. Arthur brought this point up after I talked 34 to him about the first two interviews and I seemed to be actually 35 resonating with the process that each person is sharing. This 36 happened again today, I was totally attuned, and I didn’t even 37 try to be. I didn’t even know what she was going to talk about

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38 and yet I was experiencing it even before she talked about this 39 kind of experience towards the end of the first tape and the 40 beginning of the second tape. It was the story about her doing a 41 healing session for a group. Her husband was in the group and 42 needed healing but she was trying to avoid working on him because 43 the school of thought that she was from said that she shouldn’t 44 do healing work on your own family. During the session the spirit 45 kept telling her to work on him but she kept ignoring it until 46 finally the spirit grabbed her and pulled her into doing it. I 47 experienced that same split between my mind going one way and the 48 spirit really pulling me another way. 49 An interesting moment occurred when an airplane was circling 50 overhead for a while and we had to stop and wait for it to go. 51 After several minutes, the plane continued to circle. She looked 52 up at it and smiled, then she picked up her rattle and rattled 53 and sang to the airplane. In that very moment, the plane just 54 stopped circling and flew away. At first I felt a wave of awe and 55 reverence, at the witnessing of such seemingly sacred power. Then 56 my mind came in and analyzed the situation as a mere coincidence. 57 Who knows? 58 Overall, I feel blessed, tired, spacey, and just in awe of the 59 whole process. I am feeling a little lightheaded, and my body is 60 a little tingly all over. During the interview I would feel my 61 stomach churning whenever I had thoughts about the time and 62 wondering if I was imposing. I would feel it in my gut yet my 63 head was in this state of floating-ness that kept pulling me forward. 64 When I first arrived today I noticed that she had lost a lot of 65 weight since our last encounter. She told me that after our 66 encounter in ‘95 someone who she had helped came up to her, 67 hugged her, and broke her jaw by accident. She explained that she 68 couldn’t eat or talk for a year, that it had turned out to be a 69 cleansing process for her. She said that she was only just now 70 coming out of the process and that it was interesting that my 71 reconnecting with her added to her sense of closure. I also felt 72 our meeting today was the completion of a cycle that started when 73 we had met years ago. Our encounter back then helped to reawaken 74 my connection with filmmaking and transform it into a sacred 75 process. Today I return into her presence, having explored 76 sacred filmmaking and recording her putting all I had learned 77 over this time apart into action. 78 After we finished and were wrapping up, her husband came up to me 79 and told me that he had been watching our interview from the 80 house and noticed a different quality to the encounter. He 81 explained that he had watched many on camera interviews and 82 that it seemed that my intention was very different. He asked 83 what I was doing that was so different. I explained how I was

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84 attempting to hold the interview as a sacred encounter. He said 85 that he could feel that when he was watching us. We talked about 86 how some primal cultures believe that taking a picture of someone 87 takes a piece of their soul. He said he could see that happening 88 in other interviews in a way but not in what I was doing. I said 89 that in a way I am holding the intention of using the taking of a 90 picture as a sacred extension of the soul being recorded. He said 91 that he could see the difference in my intention and talked about 92 how when he sees a tourist or a reporter record something it 93 seems like their intention is to take something. Whereas it felt 94 like I was giving something and not taking. I thanked him for the 95 wonderful feedback. I was actually stunned that an outside 96 observer was actually able to witness a difference in the 97 intentional quality of the process. The coresearcher also 98 commented that my presence helped her to talk and open up to me, 99 and that she felt our encounter was a gift. I took these comments 100 as confirmation and affirmation of my interview method. 101 Technically, I am not sure how shooting in the sun will affect 102 the video image and there were some sound problems. There were 103 steam sounds coming from the solar panels and a few airplanes 104 overhead, as well as possible microphone wind noise on the 105 audiocassette. There are some portions on the videotape that are 106 not on the audiotape because there were a couple of times that 107 the coresearcher was in the middle of something and I felt 108 guided not to interrupt the flow by changing the audiotape; so 109 the video recording is longer than the audio. 110 At the end the coresearcher did a blessing and a strange thing 111 happened to me. As she performed the ritual I entered an altered 112 state of consciousness and felt drawn to pan the camera down to 113 explore her sacred objects that were spread out on the ground 114 around her. I panned down to the objects as she finished the 115 ritual. When I stopped the camera and looked up at her I felt a 116 disconnection between us. We thanked each other for the blessing 117 of the encounter and started to collect our things. I couldn’t 118 tell if the disconnection I was feeling was mutual or just a 119 projection on my part, since I was aware of feeling guilty for 120 not being fully present for her final blessing. I felt bad that I 121 had been pulled away from her and her process and wondered if I 122 was truly being drawn in by her sacred objects or if I was just 123 caught in thinking that the video was going to run out and I 124 needed to get the shot. Even though that thought was in me, I 125 feel that there was more to it than that. I felt like I had to do 126 it. 127 [A FEW DAYS LATER] This was a truly profound and deeply moving 128 experience for me. From the moment I received my rattling 129 greeting, I was in an altered state. During our conversation I

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130 kept thinking that we were talking too long and that I should 131 stop and discuss the time with her, yet every time I attempted to 132 do so I felt a powerful force stop me and tell me to keep going. 133 The couple of times I did mention it, it felt like I was pushing 134 through a thick barrier. I am reminded of her story of how you 135 were torn between your thoughts of not doing healing work on 136 family and the force that kept calling her to do so. I sense that 137 she knew we would be entering a timeless space, by her comments 138 before our session telling me that she left the whole day open. 139 At the end of our interview, I was powerfully moved and touched by 140 her blessings. As I bathed in the light of her ending silence I 141 was drawn to point the camera at the sacred objects. I remember 142 thinking I should stay with her and be fully present for our 143 ending together, yet that force pulled me toward the masks, 144 rattles, and drums. Looking through the camera at them, I felt 145 them joining in our blessing. 146 Later that evening, I looked in the mirror and realized my face 147 was sunburned. I had been totally unconscious of spending so much 148 time in the sun unprotected. My skin was beginning to blotch and 149 I could feel the signs of sunstroke coming on. Suddenly I felt a 150 powerful presence and heard a clear message saying: “You are 151 exhausted and have been pushing yourself too hard. You have a 152 choice. You can willfully choose to slow down and be present to 153 life more, or you will be sick and your body will insist that you 154 slow down.” I saw how this was a pattern of mine . . . to push myself 155 until I get sick. I instantly shifted consciousness and began to 156 relax. The next few hours I spent being fully present and just 157 being. The next morning the burn was gone and I was fine. 158 All of this was very unusual for me. Usually my guidance comes in 159 subtle forms. But these experiences were powerful, direct, and 160 clear. I feel as though the Bear medicine enveloped me and hung 161 out with me for a while. 162 Needless to say my learning from this experience happened on many 163 levels.


Observation notes for interview with Coresearcher 004 held on November 3, 1999


1 All went well, I started my notes while driving in the car after 2 the interview, but then pulled over to continue because I 3 couldn’t really focus while driving. 4 [CONTINUED LATER] Interestingly, after the interview I had to go 5 to the bathroom and actually all through the interview I had to

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6 go to the bathroom. I went to the bathroom when I got there, I 7 went to the bathroom in the middle, and when I left the interview 8 I had to go to the bathroom again. I drove around and I couldn’t 9 find a bathroom. I kept thinking about going to the bathroom, 10 eating, driving safely and all this stuff about survival. 11 During the interview I also had all these thoughts of the 12 physical realm interfering with the interview. I was hearing all 13 the different sounds in the room and outside. There was one time 14 when there were sounds outside and I thought “oh, they’re towing 15 my car.” The rabbi was talking about how one of the obstacles to 16 guidance was being caught in survival reality, survival mode. I 17 find it interesting that before the interview, I was also caught 18 in survival mode. I was overwhelmed with the thoughts of money 19 and trying to find work and trying to finish the dissertation, to 20 prepare for the children, and all this survival stuff. I was 21 feeling overwhelmed and caught in mental and emotional 22 turbulence, and all the things the Rabbi talked about as 23 obstacles to receiving. So I actually found myself in the state 24 of mind and body that he was talking about; I was getting a felt- 25 sense of the obstacles to connecting with God. 26 At the beginning of the interview I asked the Rabbi to share a 27 personal guidance experience and he told the story of somebody 28 else’s experience. Then I asked him if he could speak about his 29 own personal experiences and he spoke in terms of a more general 30 understanding mixed with his own history, which was actually 31 quite nice. As he was talking about the other person’s experience 32 I kept thinking, “well, this is the wrong thing, this was not what 33 I was asking for,” but I kept hearing an inner voice telling me 34 to “relax and just let him talk. Perhaps it’s leading to what 35 you’re thinking about. Perhaps not, but just let him finish.” 36 Once he completed the story I then asked him the question again 37 in an effort to get a more personal story. Looking back on it, 38 the first story he told illustrates what he said later on in the 39 interview. 40 When I first entered his presence I was a little surprised. I had 41 met him once before and I didn’t remember feeling his energy of 42 openness. When I walked in this time he was very open and all 43 through the interview he was very open. At the end we had a 44 great conversation, we talked about the tarot cards he uses and 45 the crystal ball on his desk and the labyrinth, finger labyrinth 46 he has that he uses with clients. We talked about the process of 47 writing, writing his books as guidance processes. He said that 48 when he was able to let go of what he thought the book needed to 49 be that it came through him in ways that were surprising to him. 50 So that was also a form of receiving guidance. 51 During this process I had a lot of survival thoughts, feelings,

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52 and sensations, needing to go to the bathroom, anxiety, fear 53 about being towed, worries, concerns, and physical discomfort. 54 Actually I was experiencing turbulence in the four centers the 55 Rabbi talked about during our interview together. 56 Also I felt I received a direct message from our conversation, in 57 that on my way to the interview I was asking God to show me the 58 way, “. . . this is crazy God, I have to survive here and you’re 59 asking a lot of me.” During the interview the Rabbi’s words 60 really flipped that around and I started to realize, ah, this is 61 the challenge, this is the barrier I’m at and I need to be with 62 that and work through the barrier. So this encounter was very 63 profound for me and very healing for me in terms of connecting 64 with a rabbi and my own tradition. He even said “Any time you 65 want to talk, we could have a wonderful conversation. Please call 66 me.” So it really felt like an opening, an invitation, and 67 basically the experience of feeling a connection with a rabbi has 68 been rare in my life and it feels very nice. 69 I was touched by this interview on several different levels: On 70 the level of creative inspiration, I received information about 71 the use of guidance with the writing process; on the level of 72 thought, I became conscious of my thought patterns of worry and 73 concern; on the level of emotions, I was feeling the fire of 74 being in survival mode; and on the intuitive level, I felt that 75 my intuition was being blocked by that instinctual survival 76 energy.


Observation notes for interview with Coresearcher 005 held on November 18, 1999


1 The technical aspects from what I could see right now seem okay. 2 The audio tape recording was only one side of a 90-minute tape 3 and the videotape was not fully completed but it seemed like I 4 got all the questions done. 5 I’d like to take note that through the process the coresearcher 6 experienced deep emotional reactions. She came to tears and it 7 was a profound experience for her and me. I felt a gentleness in 8 her presence and overall, the most important thing for me to say, 9 is that I experienced a presence around us and in us that felt 10 like an invisible stream. This is exactly what she was 11 talking about in relation to her experience, how when you are in 12 the presence of the Divine it is like you dip into a stream and 13 it just moves you, a very gentle flowing stream.

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14 During the interview, questions would arise in me as she was 15 talking, the same process she described happening to her when 16 she’s in spiritual direction with somebody: She surrenders to the 17 divine and then the words just come and she’s just in the 18 conversation and she loses the sense of self. This is what I 19 experienced. I had a sense of sacredness and gratitude. There was 20 a feeling of grace in the room. Afterward, at the end she did 21 a blessing for my wife, the dissertation, and me. 22 Physically, I felt a lightness of being. While we were in 23 conversation I felt this incredible stream and peacefulness. At 24 the beginning I felt a little awkward but peaceful, and 25 afterwards I felt a kind of awkwardness again, yet peaceful in my 26 body, and all throughout I felt a little light-headed. My own 27 thoughts seemed to be like whispers and I was easily in the 28 present. 29 So mentally, I was just able to be fully present. My thoughts were 30 like whispers and . . . my mind was fairly quiet 31 and open to receive. 32 Emotionally, I was very touched by the experience. My heart was 33 opened as she talked. 34 I had a lot of intuitive responses. I would feel in my body that 35 I needed to say something, and what I needed to say just came 36 through me as though it just emerged out of the stream. 37 I received personal guidance throughout the interview in the form 38 of the questions I needed to ask and when to end the process. 39 Creatively, at the end of our talk, she asked me what I wanted to 40 do after I graduated and I said I’m going back into film to share 41 my gift. When I said it, I felt this depth of truth about it 42 and this inspiration to do it. 43 I am aware of a pattern of experience arising out of the 44 situation connected to the idea, “when two or more gathered in my 45 name.” When we sat together to discuss guidance, the stream, the 46 presence, came in between us, within us. She said that one of the 47 keys to guidance is being with somebody you know, someone to help 48 discern, especially when the guidance isn’t clear. It comes 49 through much clearer when there’s somebody else to help you 50 reflect. 51 There were also some expectations and assumptions that arose in 52 the process. When I first saw the coresearcher she seemed to be 53 exactly what I expected and not at all what I expected at the 54 same time, and I don’t know how to say it except like that. 55 Beyond that the interview went faster than I expected and covered 56 more than I assumed we’d be able to, including several stories. 57 I received a lot of blessings and gifts from this encounter. Many 58 of them I’m not consciously aware of at this moment but I can 59 feel them. Others I am firmly aware of, including the experience

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60 of the stream and the presence, a strengthening of faith in the 61 Divine and in myself, and a confirmation of seeking a companion 62 to talk about guidance and to work with guidance. 63 Another gift of the encounter, in relation to the idea of the 64 stream, the presence, is the notion of guidance coming just from 65 being in the presence itself. Not a voice or a vision but the 66 actual presence imparting guidance. It’s quite beautiful.


Observation notes for interview with Coresearcher 006 held on December 16, 1999

between 1:00 p.m. and 3:00 p.m.

1 I arrived at 1:00 p.m. and it lasted until 3:00 p.m., exactly the time 2 we specified. As I was setting up the recording equipment we were 3 talking about the process and I found myself articulating and 4 performing the equipment setup from a spiritual perspective. At 5 one point I jokingly said, “let’s see if the audio gods are here 6 for us.” 7 At the beginning of the interview I asked the first question, just 8 to have him prepare for it and he actually started answering 9 before I had the tape on, so I had to hit the tapes real quick. 10 Then at a certain point, as soon as I could, I asked him if we 11 could stop and start over, and start with a prayer, and that 12 seemed to work well. 13 Technically, he would shift in his chair a lot so I had to move 14 the camera to follow. At first it was awkward, then I got into 15 the rhythm of his movements and it was cool. 16 I entered a very interesting state of consciousness in which I 17 was hearing his answers but I couldn’t think of a question to ask 18 him and the questions I had on my list seemed far away in some 19 strange way. Occasionally I would ask questions from the list, or 20 I would ask questions from my intuition, from my guidance, and 21 from my heart, but overall it was hard to ask questions for some 22 reason. I became enthralled with the lyrical quality of his voice 23 and his presence. 24 The entire process itself felt like guidance; everything that was 25 happening felt like it was some form guidance just beyond my 26 grasp. Oh, that’s it, there we go, there’s the pattern, because he 27 basically said for him it’s not sitting down and asking for 28 guidance, it’s everything around us is guiding us. God is 29 speaking in everything and we just have to listen. I was aware of 30 everything speaking but I was having a hard time listening. So 31 for him that is guidance and that’s what seemed to be happening 32 in our process.

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33 Physically, I felt very comfortable, I didn’t have any noticeable 34 physical sensations. 35 Mentally, I had a lot of thoughts that were stimulated by what he 36 said. For example, he talked about Jesus’ prayer, which includes 37 “Gives us this day our daily bread” and he broke it into seven 38 components. As he was talking I really felt a connection to what 39 he was saying and the short version of the Amidah prayer in 40 Judaism. Throughout our whole interview, I had thoughts about how 41 certain thoughts, ideas, and concepts from his tradition seemed to 42 connect to similar notions in other traditions. Then he was 43 talking about creating his own cosmology by cross-pollinating 44 traditions, which also echoed my own process of what I’m trying 45 to do. So that was really quite beautiful. 46 Emotionally, I felt grateful to be there in his presence. I felt 47 nourished; it was very nourishing. 48 Throughout the process I didn’t receive specific guidance but 49 everything he said felt like it had some clues in it for me. 50 Every story he told resonated with my life and put a new 51 perspective on things. 52 Creatively as I was talking to him and as he told his stories, I 53 would see his stories and have these visions of the experiences. 54 I had several insights into the pattern of divine guidance 55 experiences from our conversation, especially around the area of 56 discernment. For him all guidance comes down to, what’s the most 57 loving response? I was struck by the simplicity of using this 58 discernment value or filter to discern the validity of the 59 guidance experience. It’s a very strong filter, and it echoes in 60 many other traditions and from the people I’ve talked to and in 61 myself. Also, seeing God in things around us appears to be a 62 common and interesting pattern. 63 Reflecting on the expectations and assumptions that arose in this 64 situation, I am aware of internally questioning whether the 65 stories he was telling were really about guidance. Every time 66 this happened during a telling of a story I would reach a point 67 of letting my expectations and assumptions go and just being 68 present with it. I actually became aware of having a guidance 69 cosmology that he was not fitting into and then letting go of 70 that cosmology. That explains my problem with asking questions 71 from within myself or from the list. Yes, now I understand. He 72 was outside of the cosmology I had already constructed for 73 myself. His words were also expressing the reason why I couldn’t 74 think of questions. I found it hard to ask questions from the 75 list because he was stretching my cosmology. This is really an 76 interesting insight. 77 I feel blessed that we had this experience. I feel the gift of 78 his presence and the sharing of his life and his soul. I also

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79 feel an awareness of gratitude in my whole being for this 80 process.



between 10:00 a.m. and 11:45 a.m.

1 It was a 1-hour interview. This interview was canceled twice and 2 rescheduled because of the coresearcher having bronchitis and a 3 cold, and so we finally got together. I was on my way here and 4 everything was going fine and I was on time, then I had to go to 5 the bathroom bad. So I had to stop and go to the bathroom and 6 then I was running late. Then I had to calm down and just trust 7 and be present, and I was able to do that. As I was driving into 8 Tiburon, which is where his house was, I became aware of the 9 smell of the ocean, the sound of the birds, and the beauty all 10 around me, which reminded me to stop and take a breath. I became 11 calm and peaceful and then continued on my way. 12 I drove into the gated community and at first I couldn’t find his 13 house, but then I asked for directions and they told me how to 14 get there. It was a beautiful little cottage on a lake with 15 birds, ducks, and geese. I parked the car, said my guidance 16 prayers and then gathered my equipment. I knocked on the door and 17 after a few moments the coresearcher answered. He said “hello” 18 and we shook hands. I tried to be very present as I entered in 19 his home and presence. The coresearcher seemed preoccupied, 20 trying to be present but also seemingly overloaded by stuff in 21 life. He asked me where I would like to set up and showed me a 22 couple choices and I picked one. I showed him the consent form 23 and he read it and asked me some questions. He had me write in an 24 extra sentence about the video not being shown on commercial 25 television, which was no problem so we did that. He also asked me 26 what I meant by the statement saying that the institute is not 27 responsible for any injuries. After explaining both issues the 28 coresearcher confirmed his understanding and acceptance and then 29 signed the consent form. 30 As I began to set up the equipment, the coresearcher seemed 31 preoccupied again, doing some work at his desk until I was ready 32 for him to sit down. When we started he instantly became fully 33 present. I was going to ask him to do an opening meditation but 34 he asked if he could do one before I even asked him. I said great 35 and asked if it would be all right to do it on camera and he said 36 “no.” He wanted to do it before we started anything. So he led me 37 in a prayer from A Course In Miracles in which we “surrendered

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38 our process to the purposes of peace and to God and to serve all 39 Holy useful purposes.” As we talked, he was telling great 40 stories, but it was difficult for me to elicit precise answers 41 from him. He would talk mostly in stories. At one point he asked 42 to go to the bathroom and we stopped. He had me go up to the top 43 of the stairs, sit down and look at this beautiful 13th Century 44 painting of Jesus that he had gotten from this 94-year-old woman 45 from Europe. It was an amazing painting, very beautiful. I sat 46 there for a long time while he was in the bathroom. Then we 47 continued with the interview and ended fairly normally. 48 During our conversation I kept feeling a sense of love, 49 compassion, and a strong feeling that I was there to be of service 50 to him by asking him to open and share. I felt very strongly that 51 I wasn’t doing research but that I was there just to listen to 52 this man and to honor him by listening, and that is what I tried 53 to do. It was very hard for me to ask questions because I felt 54 like what he needed was to tell his story. So I tried to be a 55 good witness and let the stories unfold and be with what was 56 happening. 57 After the interview was over we shook hands, we thanked each 58 other, and then he instantly went back to work. I started to wrap 59 up my equipment and felt very pressed for time even though we 60 were finished on time. But his energy was saying to me, “let’s 61 go, let’s go.” At least that was my projection. I have to note 62 that he’s my most famous participant so he has a lot on his 63 plate, traveling all over the world and everyone wanting to see 64 him. So it felt like he was trying to balance being present with 65 this huge responsibility he has to the world. 66 After I walked out of his house, I stood by the lake and I just 67 felt like crying. I couldn’t tell why I was so emotional. A 68 lightness washed over my body and a sensate feeling of compassion 69 filled my entire being and I instantly started to bless him and 70 thank God for the experience. It’s hard to put my finger on the 71 experience. I can’t really think of clear things I’ve learned 72 from the process. It’s a blur right now. Actually while he was 73 talking I didn’t really have any clear thoughts about “oh, this is 74 an insight, that’s an insight.” It was more of an emotional 75 experience, the whole thing. 76 Now I am thinking that part of this experience was a lesson in 77 being present. I am aware that lately I have been torn between 78 being fully present in the moment and having all this work to do. 79 So in a way this whole process was a great gift for me; observing 80 him and observing myself in that energy of the struggle between 81 being present and still, and having so much to do. He was 82 able to come in and be present and still, and then switch back 83 into handling everything else.

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84 When I was standing by the lake after our session, I was deeply 85 affected by the beauty and peace of the place. I had a profound 86 sense of creation, not necessarily my own creativity but the 87 beauty of creation. I’m not sure how this interview evoked these 88 feelings in me. During the interview we were exploring stories of 89 the past, while within me and seemingly, within him, there was a 90 struggle between being present and being drawn by the pressures 91 of time. Then once I walked out of the house and stood by the 92 lake, a sense of timelessness overwhelmed me. 93 I did have to let go of a lot of expectations and assumptions in 94 this whole process. As I was traveling to the interview location 95 I kept thinking the coresearcher was going to have a large 96 elegant house overlooking the water, and it was actually a quaint 97 little cottage on a lake. So I was caught in my expectations of 98 how a famous person would live. I also had a concern that I 99 was taking up his time, because he was so famous. Additionally, I 100 had an image of him being this charismatic person but actually he 101 was very ordinary, and in many ways he reminded me of my 102 father . . . just an ordinary elderly person with wisdom. Before the 103 interview I prayed for the ability to not see him as an authority 104 figure, to not get caught in my old pattern of seeing a famous 105 person as separate and different, and that’s what happened. 106 The gifts I received from this interview are very interesting, 107 very powerful, and yet unspeakable. When I stood out by the lake 108 it felt like I had been blessed, I had learned a lot, and I had no 109 idea what or how. When I was in his presence it didn’t feel like 110 I was in the presence of a bodhisattva or a guru. So it didn’t 111 feel like I was receiving any kind of powerful presence 112 transference yet afterward I felt this rush, this instant altered 113 state after leaving his presence. It’s a very interesting 114 process.



between 9:00 a.m. and 11:05 a.m.

1 The atmosphere for this interview was very relaxing and I felt 2 comfortable in her presence. The interview took place at the 3 coresearcher’s apartment within the Ananda Community. I was greeted 4 with warmth and was asked to remove my shoes before entering. 5 After a few minutes of welcoming conversation, we decided on a 6 location for the interview and I began to set up the equipment. I 7 was very conscious of trying to balance my attention equally between 8 the technology and our introductory conversation. I seemed to

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9 find a nice balance on this final interview; it felt like I had 10 finally achieved a comfortable balance of presence on this 11 interview, after struggling with it through the previous seven 12 interviews. 13 There were a few technical glitches along the way. In the middle of the 14 interview the phone rang and the fax machine started to print out 15 a fax. I checked the sound on the video and it didn’t seem to be 16 picking it up. I decided not to check the audio recording and 17 just continue. We talked for 1 hour and went to the very end of 18 the videotape. 19 At the end of the interview we sat and talked for a little bit 20 and had a wonderful conversation. We talked about my approaching 21 new parenthood and the twins on their way, the process of 22 guidance in our everyday lives, and how I found her name through 23 synchronistic guidance. She asked me questions about my life, and 24 I talked about being a filmmaker. 25 Physically, my body was relaxed and calm throughout the interview 26 and I was very comfortable. At one point I did became aware of 27 how I was sitting in the chair, and became conscious of tension 28 in my body. I noticed that this occurred after the fax machine 29 interrupted us and that I was still holding this split of 30 attention in my body. I shifted into a more comfortable position 31 and let go of thoughts around the fax. 32 Mentally, I was in a very interesting mental receptive flow, being 33 able to be fully present and listening. I perceived myself as 34 fully listening to her while also holding an awareness of the 35 technology and the questions on my list and those arising from 36 our conversation. Somehow it was easy to hold everything in full 37 awareness. Several times a new question would arise in me as she 38 spoke and sometimes she would answer questions I hadn’t asked 39 yet. I had the perception that I was in a sort of synthesis 40 thought mode. 41 Emotionally, I found myself feeling touched by her presence in a 42 very calm and gentle way. I did not experience any extreme 43 emotional feelings; I was just very calm and peaceful and just 44 felt good. 45 I had several experiences during the interview that I would call 46 spiritual in nature. Periodically, during our conversation, my 47 vision would get blurred and her face and body transformed into a 48 very old person and I felt that I was in the presence of a very 49 ancient soul. 50 I also experienced a sort of integration of intuitively asking 51 questions while intellectually considering the questions I needed 52 to ask. So that was a nice balance. 53 A couple times during the interview I experienced a loss of focus 54 and attention, and then suddenly I received inner guidance

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55 calling me back in to the present and to just be with the 56 process. 57 After the interview I felt a sense of uplifting and inspiration 58 in my life, and as I sit here doing these notes I feel a strong 59 sense of completion with this being the eighth interview. 60 I resonated with several patterns of experience that the 61 coresearcher explored, including the idea of being accepting of 62 where you are on the path and following the guidance the best you 63 can. I was deeply affected by her suggestion to ask the question 64 “What am I afraid of?” when finding oneself unable to perceive 65 guidance because fear is a great obstacle; that a lot of times 66 we’re not getting an answer to a question because we’re in fear 67 around the situation so we’re asking the wrong question. So we 68 need to ask, “What am I afraid of here, what do I need to learn, 69 what is blocking me?” This has given me a clearer sense of what 70 to look for in those moments when I seem unable to connect with 71 guidance. 72 I admit I had some expectations and assumptions about the Ananda 73 Community. When I studied at Yogananda’s Self-Realization 74 Fellowship, I had heard stories of how Ananda was a group of 75 Yogananda followers who had left the Fellowship and became a 76 “rogue” community. I also often felt a kind of distance or 77 unspiritual quality to some of the people who worked at Ananda’s 78 local bookstore and I projected those perceptions onto the 79 community. The coresearcher’s gentle presence and the sweetness 80 of our conversation shattered my previous perceptions of the 81 community, and challenged my expectations and assumptions. 82 I have the sense of having received many gifts and lessons from 83 this encounter as I have had with all of the interviews. I have a 84 deep sense of each conversation speaking to me in the exact 85 moment of my life, and that each of the coresearchers has given 86 me a piece of the puzzle of my own personal questionings. I feel 87 like my experience of this interview has blended with all the 88 others into an unfolding totality that at this moment is just 89 beginning to coalesce just beyond my conscious awareness. It is 90 hard to explain this feeling I am having; of having received a 91 gift yet not being sure of what it is yet. Somehow, I know there 92 has been a blessing here. In a way it seems similar to the 93 guidance process in that the fruits of the experience tell you 94 you’ve been on the right path. 95 I came out of this interview feeling peaceful, in an altered 96 state, relaxed, calm, centered, and sure of myself. Since eight 97 interviews was the minimum number of interviews I set as my 98 completion threshold, I am having a sense of completion for the 99 entire interview process. At this moment it feels like this is 100 the last interview and I am filled with a sense of completion for

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101 this individual interview and the culmination of the complete 102 interview process and it feels very nice. I feel like my soul and 103 spirit has been uplifted by all of these people. A deep sense of 104 gratitude fills my being.


Observation notes for interview with Coresearcher 009 held on January 2, 2000


1 After the eighth interview, coresearcher nine responded and 2 agreed to participate. Our interview took place on January 2, 3 2000 at her daughter’s apartment in San Francisco on Lombard 4 Street Sunday morning from 10:00 a.m. and I was done at about 5 12:15 p.m. 6 The interview went over the hour and I ran out of videotape but 7 let the audiotape play. It just felt right and that’s what I did. 8 Of course the conversation on the audiotape at the end is 9 wonderful. 10 I should note that this interview took place a week after the 11 stillbirths of our twins and a day after the New Year of the new 12 millennium. Sadness, grief, and emotional vulnerability were 13 present in my internal emotional and mental atmosphere. 14 Overall the questioning went well. The stories were really 15 beautiful but I had a hard time asking questions because the 16 process that she was describing was outside of my paradigm. I 17 tried to ask some of the questions but then at a certain point I 18 had to let go and just be with what she was talking about. 19 I experienced some discomfort in our interview because it felt as 20 though I was being challenged to face my personal struggles to 21 return to Judaism. I was facing it right there with the Rabbi. As 22 she spoke about Judaism from the community perspective, a trigger 23 in me went off because part of my wounding around Judaism was 24 connected to intense communal pressures, and so much of what she 25 was talking about, the communal aspects and the rituals, are 26 elements of Judaism that I still find hard to approach. This was 27 really excellent for me in terms of my own spiritual growth. On a 28 physical level I felt fairly comfortable most of the time while 29 periodically experiencing a twist in my stomach that seemed to 30 occur when the Rabbi was talking about community and the Judaism 31 issues that were pushing my buttons. Before our interview she 32 asked me questions about my experiences of Judaism and I shared 33 how I had a horrible experience in my childhood with Judaism. 34 During the interview she seemed to purposely touch upon some of 35 those personal issues we had discussed, which really created a

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36 profound and challenging personal experience for me. 37 Mentally, I struggled with this process. I found it hard to listen 38 to her without my personal feelings and expectations getting in 39 the way. My mind seemed to be creating barriers to my really 40 hearing her and I struggled to push through this. Finally, toward 41 the end, I was able to surrender into it and the barriers just 42 melted away. 43 Emotionally, I felt a heart and spirit connection with her even 44 while she was talking about some of the things that pushed my 45 triggers and called up some of my fears and pain from my past 46 experiences with Judaism. 47 At one point the Rabbi was talking about how the sacred text of 48 the scriptures is our guidance and everything is in there to 49 guide us in our lives and how beautiful it was. Her words 50 definitely pushed some of my buttons and I had to ask about those 51 sections in the scripture that have to do with killing other 52 people. She started talking about the notion of evil and I tried 53 my best to listen with an open mind. So some of my questioning in 54 this interview was definitely coming from my own personal 55 experience. 56 I also had many intuitive moments in this process and they were 57 all about letting go of my preconceptions, and being with and 58 hearing what she was talking about. 59 At the end, she said that the presence of the Shekhinah came into 60 her. I became aware that the camera was about to run out of tape. 61 I felt a profound sense of release and my entire inner struggle 62 melted away as an inner voice told me to continue with the 63 interview and let the video run out. I asked her if she could 64 expand on her statement about the Shekhinah coming to her and the 65 videotape ran out as she began to answer. At that moment, after I 66 had surrendered both my personal and my research questions, she 67 gave me the answer that answered everything. I felt as though the 68 Shekhinah actually entered our space. I could feel it. When she 69 repeated the phrase “The presence of the Shekhinah” to answer the 70 question, the camera turned off and the presence entered the room 71 as though the Divine was saying that it could not be captured. 72 When the camera turned off it made a sound and she laughed and 73 commented how it was the sound of the Shekhinah coming in. This 74 was a very profound experience. I truly felt as though the Divine 75 had entered the room and the space between us was filled with a 76 sacred presence that was almost palpable. 77 This experience was a very real example of her description how 78 prayer and ritual in Judaism is all about preparing the space for 79 holiness, for God to enter. I suddenly saw all the practices of 80 Judaism in the light of this concept and was able to see them in 81 a new way and from a deeper level that I had seen them before. I

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82 saw how it is all about preparing the table, creating an altar, 83 creating the space for Holiness to enter. Then once you do that, 84 it all happens on its own. The Divine is waiting, continually 85 waiting for us to just open the space and then it comes in. 86 I had many expectations and assumptions that were challenged in 87 this interview. I realized that my questions were coming from a 88 very individual experiential place, and that she was coming from 89 a very communal collective experience of guidance. So it was a 90 real challenge for me to let go of that individual 91 experiential paradigm in order to receive the communal paradigm 92 that she was talking about. 93 This experience gave me many gifts and inspirations and lessons 94 for my own journey. The first one that comes to mind is that I 95 felt an opening and healing of some of the areas of Judaism that 96 I have been struggling with, namely the communal ritual aspect. 97 Also during the experience of the Shekhinah at the end, something 98 happened to me. It was one of the most palpable experiences of 99 Divine presence I have ever had. I have a sense that it has 100 changed me in some unknown and yet to be seen way. 101 After the interview I wondered how it fit into the pattern I have 102 perceived in each of the other interviews, the pattern of 103 experiencing the form of guidance that each person was talking 104 about. I realized that this pattern was also very strong in this 105 interview as well. The Rabbi was discussing a collective 106 experience of guidance, and at the very end of our interview we 107 appeared to become attuned to guidance through the communal 108 ritual of the interview itself. It reminds me of the phrase, 109 “When two or more are gathered in my name . . . .” 110 At this moment my mind is emptying. I am sitting in my car on 111 Lombard Street outside the apartment. I’m looking down the hill, 112 across the city and up the other side of the urban valley as the 113 street rises up to the famous area of Lombard Street with all the 114 curves and the cars going down it. It’s a beautiful day. I feel 115 tired and blessed. 116 This may be the last interview; it may not. Only God knows that.

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Appendix L: Tables of Results

The following frequency tables display the results from the thematic content

analysis of the 9 coresearcher interviews conducted during this study. This analysis was

performed using the ATLAS.ti qualitative data analysis program (Muhr, 2003), which is

based on the grounded theory approach (see Chapter 3).

The transcripts of each of the interviews were analyzed for content by separating the

text into quotations and coding each of these quotations for content (i.e., inner voice). These

codes were then analyzed for content relationships (i.e., inner voice <is a> form of

communication); organized into thematic content families and networks of relational

connectedness (i.e., inner voice <is a> form <is associated with> receiving); and then sorted

by the number of coresearchers identified with each code (agreement), the frequency of

occurrence of each code (groundedness), and the number of other codes linked with each

code (density).

The primary sorting criterion for the thematic content analysis process of this

inquiry was code agreement (A), and the threshold for general or universal code agreement

was set for 9 out of 9 coresearchers (A = 9). The numerical values of code groundedness

(G) and density (D) were used as secondary sorting criteria to determine the degree of

probable evidence and theoretical significance of each code. A high degree of code

groundedness (G) was defined as those codes that were mentioned nine or more times by

the coresearchers as a group (G μ 9); and a high degree of code density (D) was defined as

those codes that had three or more other codes related to it (D μ 3).

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Table L1 Reported Categories of the Experience of Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Source 20 5 31 14 19 25 20 22 14 170 (9/36) Seeking 8 13 14 14 7 16 12 10 11 105 (9/15) Following 7 9 7 3 10 3 14 14 9 76 (9/11) Receiving 4 10 5 7 8 10 14 12 5 75 (9/15) Totals (G) 39 37 57 38 44 54 60 58 39 427

Note. Sorted by agreement (A), groundedness (G), and density (D).

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Table L2 Categories of the Experience of Divine Guidance Reported in Coresearcher Stories Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Stories 4 8 3 2 3 7 11 7 2 47 (9/4) Source Stories 1 1 8 3 4 6 17 6 1 47 (9/2) Receiving Stories 3 7 3 2 3 5 10 6 2 41 (9/2) Following Stories 3 7 3 1 3 3 10 6 2 38 (9/2) Seeking Stories 3 7 2 2 3 5 7 5 2 36 (9/2) Totals (G) 14 30 19 10 16 26 55 30 9 209


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Table L3 Reported Patterns of Perception (Constructs) of Source Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Identity of Source 15 5 29 13 18 20 14 17 12 143 (9/16) Attributes 15 5 24 13 18 18 13 15 11 132 (9/5) Activities 14 2 24 11 16 16 13 13 10 119 (9/8) Motives 11 2 22 7 14 13 11 14 9 103 (9/7) Totals (G) 55 14 99 44 66 67 51 59 42 497


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Table L4 Reported Perceptions of Identity of Source Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) God 5 5 3 13 18 15 13 11 9 92 (9/1) Spirit 4 0 9 1 3 2 0 1 3 23 (7/1) Saints and Prophets 3 2 0 0 0 2 4 4 0 15 (5/1) Divine Mother 0 1 2 0 0 1 0 7 0 11 (4/1) Divine Father 0 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 0 6 (4/1) Divine Consciousness 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 4 0 6 (3/1) Divine Being 2 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 4 (3/1) Nature Spirits 0 0 6 0 0 1 0 0 0 7 (2/1) Divine Force 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 3 1 5 (2/1) Angels 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 2 (2/1) Spirits 0 0 16 0 0 0 0 0 0 16 (1/1) Earth Mother 0 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 (1/1) Ground of Being 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 (1/1) Higher Self 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 2 (1/1) Totals (G) 17 9 42 15 21 24 18 34 15 195


377

Table L5 Reported Patterns of the Experience of Seeking Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Preparation 10 16 17 12 7 15 12 15 18 122 (9/13) Purification 8 11 12 12 7 11 13 15 10 99 (9/24) Tools-Practices 6 12 13 13 7 13 9 13 12 98 (9/78) Obstacles-to-Seeking 1 1 4 4 3 2 6 2 2 25 (9/16) Totals (G) 25 40 46 41 24 41 40 45 42 344


378

Table L6 Reported Guidance Practices, Tools, and Techniques Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Attribute Practices 1 1 9 11 6 9 11 17 14 79 (9/23) Prayer-Blessing 1 3 10 4 9 7 2 5 11 52 (9/1) Discernment Practice 3 1 1 1 2 2 4 1 1 16 (9/3) Meditation 1 3 0 6 0 7 4 5 3 29 (7/3) Sacred Text 1 6 1 0 1 5 0 1 9 24 (7/2) Guidance Practice 2 2 6 1 0 4 4 3 0 22 (7/2) Spiritual Direction 0 6 0 1 4 2 1 2 2 18 (7/6) Ritual 0 1 8 0 1 1 1 0 6 18 (6/4) Dreams 0 2 5 2 0 4 0 0 1 14 (5/3) Divine Dialoguing 1 0 0 4 1 1 0 0 1 8 (5/1) Sacred Objects 0 3 10 0 0 0 2 0 2 17 (4/4) Right Action 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 3 3 8 (4/3) Visualization 3 1 0 1 0 0 3 0 0 8 (4/1) Contemplation 0 0 0 5 0 2 0 1 0 8 (4/1) Chanting 0 1 0 2 0 0 0 0 2 5 (3/1) Breathing 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 2 4 (3/1) Divination 0 0 4 1 0 0 0 0 0 5 (2/6) Body Practices 0 2 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 3 (2/1)

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Table L6 (Continued) Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Mindfulness 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 (1/3) Vision Quest 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 (1/2) Totals (G) 14 33 55 39 24 45 35 38 57 340


380

Table L7 Reported Attributes of the Experience of Divine Guidance That Can Be Practiced Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Surrender 1 1 2 2 0 2 4 2 0 14 (7/23) Awareness 0 0 1 1 2 1 2 3 4 14 (7/6) Perceptual-Shift 0 0 3 3 1 0 1 2 0 10 (5/11) Silence/Stillness 0 0 1 0 1 0 2 2 2 8 (5/7) Self-Reflection 0 0 0 2 1 0 0 3 2 8 (4/6) Centeredness 0 0 1 2 0 0 0 2 3 8 (4/3) Authenticity 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 1 4 (4/5) Forgiveness 0 0 0 0 0 1 2 0 1 4 (3/6) Acceptance 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 1 3 (3/7) Courage 0 0 0 0 0 4 0 1 0 5 (2/6) Compassion 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 (1/2) Totals (G) 1 1 9 11 6 9 11 17 14 79


381

Table L8 Reported Patterns of the Experience of Receiving Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Content 12 8 32 16 18 21 22 23 12 164 (9/15) Form 10 7 9 4 11 8 5 2 7 63 (9/32) Qualities of Experience 7 4 6 4 11 4 5 3 2 46 (9/41) Obstacles-to-Receiving 1 1 2 2 3 1 6 3 1 20 (9/16) Totals (G) 30 20 49 26 43 34 38 31 22 293


382

Table L9 Reported Forms of Divine Guidance Communication Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Perceptual Shift 3 2 6 8 3 8 10 4 3 47 (9/12) Felt-Sense 10 4 5 3 7 1 6 6 2 44 (9/1) Insight 4 0 2 3 5 6 2 7 1 30 (8/6) Presence 1 1 2 1 5 1 0 2 4 17 (8/3) Thought-Sense 2 2 2 1 1 2 2 3 0 15 (8/1) Life Change/Transformation 2 1 2 1 3 0 3 0 1 13 (7/3) Divine Flow 1 8 0 3 1 0 0 3 1 17 (6/3) Inner Voice 0 1 3 1 0 0 6 3 3 17 (6/1) Dreams 0 2 5 2 0 4 0 0 1 14 (6/3) Signs and Wonders 1 0 2 0 0 4 4 1 0 12 (5/2) Intuition 0 0 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 5 (5/1) Synchronicities 2 0 3 0 0 1 6 0 0 12 (4/3) Peak Experience 3 2 2 0 1 0 0 0 0 8 (4/3) Visions 3 0 2 1 0 0 1 0 0 7 (4/1) Energetic-Sense 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 3 0 6 (4/1) Voice of Nature 0 0 3 0 0 2 0 0 2 7 (3/1) Channeling 0 5 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 7 (2/1) Miracles 0 0 0 0 0 0 5 1 0 6 (2/1)

383

Table L9 (Continued) Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Divination 0 0 4 1 0 0 0 0 0 5 (2/6) Inspiration 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 2 (2/2) Outer Voice 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 2 (2/1) Revelation 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 (1/2) Inner Dictation 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 (1/1) Totals (G) 32 28 47 28 28 31 48 34 19 295


384

Table L10 Reported Content of Divine Guidance Communication Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Direction 7 4 22 3 13 10 14 14 8 95 (9/2) Information 3 3 12 4 6 8 5 9 3 53 (9/1) Perceptual Shift 3 2 6 8 3 8 10 4 3 47 (9/12) Authorization 1 2 11 1 6 7 7 3 4 42 (9/4) Behavior Modification 1 3 5 1 3 1 10 4 3 31 (9/2) Insight 4 0 2 3 5 6 2 7 1 30 (8/6) Consolation 2 0 4 1 4 0 3 0 2 16 (6/3) Warning 0 1 3 0 0 0 1 0 0 5 (3/1) Inspiration 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 2 (2/2) Revelation 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 (1/2) Totals (G) 21 15 66 22 40 41 52 41 24 322


385

Table L11 Reported Qualities of the Experience of Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Sense of Perceptual Shift 3 2 6 8 3 8 10 4 3 47 (9/12) Sense of Heart-Opening 1 2 5 2 2 0 6 2 2 22 (8/3) Sense of Interconnectedness 2 2 2 0 1 3 8 2 2 22 (8/2) Sense of Light 2 3 0 3 5 1 2 2 1 19 (8/2) Sense of Presence 1 1 2 1 5 1 0 2 4 17 (8/3) Sense of Openness 4 4 7 6 0 2 0 3 4 30 (7/5) Sense of Love 3 1 2 0 2 4 5 2 0 19 (7/2) Sense of Clarity 2 1 2 0 6 1 1 2 0 15 (7/7) Sense of Being Present 4 2 1 0 2 1 3 0 2 15 (7/2) Sense of Harmony-Balance 1 0 0 5 8 0 2 4 1 21 (6/2) Sense of Divine Flow 1 8 0 3 1 0 0 3 1 17 (6/3) Sense of Consolation 2 0 4 1 4 0 3 0 2 16 (6/3) Sense of Gratitude 0 0 1 0 2 1 2 3 3 12 (6/2) Sense of Grace-Blessing 3 0 7 0 0 0 6 1 5 22 (5/2) Sense of Peace 2 0 0 2 2 0 2 0 3 11 (5/2) Sense of Joy 0 0 2 0 3 0 1 1 3 10 (5/2) Peak Experience 3 2 2 0 1 0 0 0 0 8 (4/3) Sense of Energy 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 3 2 7 (4/2)

386

Table L11 (Continued) Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Sense of Union 1 2 2 0 1 0 0 0 0 6 (4/2) Sense of Surrender 1 0 1 0 1 0 2 0 0 5 (4/2) Sense of Encouragement 1 0 0 0 0 1 2 0 0 4 (3/2) Sense of Self-Reflection 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 1 1 4 (3/2) Sense of Calmness 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 3 (3/2) Sense of Sacredness 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 3 (3/2) Sense of Timelessness 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 3 (3/2) Sense of Unselfconsciousness 0 0 0 0 4 0 0 2 0 6 (2/2) Sense of Spontaneity 0 0 0 0 3 1 0 0 0 4 (2/2) Sense of Awe 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 3 (2/2) Sense of Silence-Stillness 0 0 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 3 (1/2) Sense of Source 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 (1/4) Totals (G) 37 32 51 37 58 24 57 38 41 375


387

Table L12 Reported Patterns of the Experience of Following Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Incorporation 8 8 9 3 4 5 13 7 5 62 (9/31) Discernment 4 2 8 6 5 6 4 10 9 54 (9/35) Effects 5 4 8 3 10 1 13 4 5 53 (9/102) Obstacles-to-Following 1 1 4 3 4 0 6 3 2 24 (8/21) Totals (G) 18 15 29 15 23 12 36 24 21 193


388

Table L13 Reported Effects (Fruits) of the Experience of Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Perceptual-Shift 1 0 2 1 2 1 8 0 1 16 (7/12) Purification 0 2 1 1 4 0 3 2 1 14 (7/21) Heart-Opening 1 2 1 1 0 0 5 1 1 12 (7/4) Construct-Change 1 0 2 1 1 1 5 0 1 12 (7/3) Incorporation 3 0 3 0 2 1 7 0 2 18 (6/26) Consolation 2 0 4 1 4 0 3 0 2 16 (6/3) Transformation 1 0 3 0 2 1 3 0 1 11 (6/4) Insight 1 0 0 1 4 0 2 1 1 10 (6/6) Harmony/Balance 1 0 0 1 5 0 1 1 1 10 (6/3) Faith 1 1 0 0 1 1 2 1 0 7 (6/8) Grace/Blessing 2 0 2 0 0 0 5 1 3 13 (5/3) Love 1 0 2 0 2 0 5 1 0 11 (5/3) Purpose/Direction 0 0 4 1 2 1 0 1 0 9 (5/2) Clarity 0 0 1 0 4 1 1 1 0 8 (5/7) Peace 2 0 0 1 2 0 2 0 1 8 (5/3) Awareness 1 0 1 0 2 0 1 1 0 6 (5/6) Peak Experience 3 2 2 0 1 0 0 0 0 8 (4/3) Gratitude 0 0 0 0 1 0 2 2 2 7 (4/3)

389

Table L13 (Continued) Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Surrender 1 0 0 0 1 1 2 1 0 6 (4/23) Presence 0 0 1 0 4 0 0 0 2 7 (3/4) Authenticity 0 0 0 0 3 0 0 2 1 6 (3/5) Joy 0 0 2 0 2 0 0 0 2 6 (3/3) Courage 0 0 0 0 2 1 0 2 0 5 (3/6) Synchronicity 1 0 1 0 0 0 2 0 0 4 (3/4) Energy 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 2 4 (3/3) Encouragement 1 0 0 0 0 1 2 0 0 4 (3/2) Spiritual Growth 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 3 (3/7) Openness 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 3 (3/6) Divine-Flow 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 3 (3/4) Sacredness 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 3 (3/2) Strength 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 3 (3/2) Goodness 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 3 (3/2) Interconnectedness 0 0 3 0 0 0 5 0 0 8 (2/3) Healing 0 0 0 0 1 0 5 0 0 6 (2/5) Miracles 0 0 0 0 0 0 5 1 0 6 (2/1) Acceptance 2 0 0 0 0 0 3 0 0 5 (2/7) Light 0 0 0 0 3 0 2 0 0 5 (2/3)

390

Table L13 (Continued) Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Freedom 0 0 0 0 4 0 1 0 0 5 (2/2) Wisdom 0 2 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 (2/2) Silence/Stillness 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 2 (2/7) Self-Reflection 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 2 (2/6) Calmness 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 2 (2/3) Centeredness 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 2 (2/3) Satisfaction 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 2 (2/1) Commitment 0 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 (1/5) Forgiveness 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 2 (1/6) Unselfconsciousness 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 2 (1/3) Union 0 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 (1/3) Awe 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 (1/3) Spontaneity 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 (1/3) Timelessness 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 (1/3) Totals (G) 27 13 41 13 65 10 87 29 31 316


391

Table L14 Reported Elements and Processes Associated with Discernment Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Discernment Practice 3 1 1 1 2 2 4 1 1 16 (9/3) Extrication of Obstacles 1 1 4 1 0 3 2 7 4 23 (8/2) Recurrent Inquiry 2 1 2 2 2 4 0 6 3 22 (8/1) Test and Compare 2 1 3 0 5 2 0 8 1 22 (7/2) Transcendent Education 1 0 0 1 1 1 2 2 0 8 (6/2) Detachment to Outcome 2 0 2 0 0 1 2 1 0 8 (5/6) Spiritual Direction 0 1 0 0 2 0 1 2 1 7 (5/2) Trial and Error 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 6 0 7 (2/3) Following Bliss 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 3 (2/1) Totals (G) 13 5 13 5 12 13 11 34 10 116


392

Table L15 Reported Discernment Criteria Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Effects of Experience 1 2 3 5 4 1 2 5 4 27 (9/3) Conformity of Experience 2 2 2 0 5 2 1 4 4 22 (8/4) Confirmation of the Heart 2 0 1 3 2 1 1 5 2 17 (8/3) Sense of Openness 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 3 1 9 (7/2) Level of Willingness 2 0 2 1 0 2 0 4 1 12 (6/5) Sense of Clarity 0 0 1 0 2 0 1 2 0 6 (4/2) Sense of Source 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 (1/4) Totals (G) 8 5 11 10 13 7 5 23 12 94


393

Table L16 Reported Elements and Processes Associated with the Incorporation of Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Attunement 5 6 8 1 2 7 7 6 6 48 (9/4) Inner Listening 3 3 3 1 3 5 8 6 4 36 (9/2) Inspired Action 2 1 4 1 2 3 8 5 2 28 (9/3) Construct Transcendence 1 3 1 2 4 2 4 3 2 22 (9/7) Creating the Space 2 3 6 1 1 3 2 1 3 22 (9/3) Discernment Practice 3 1 1 1 2 2 4 1 1 16 (9/3) Openness to Receive 6 2 5 2 0 3 11 6 4 39 (8/4) Watching for Signs 3 0 3 0 1 1 10 1 3 22 (7/3) Guidance Practice 2 2 6 1 0 4 4 3 0 22 (7/2) Being Present 4 1 1 0 0 2 5 3 2 18 (7/3) Spiritual Practice 0 2 4 0 1 3 0 2 2 14 (6/2) Sanctification 0 1 6 0 0 2 0 0 1 10 (4/2) Being with What Is 3 0 0 0 0 1 3 2 0 9 (4/5) Waiting for an Answer 1 0 0 0 1 0 2 2 0 6 (4/3) Alignment 0 0 0 0 0 4 0 0 6 10 (2/4) Gratefulness 0 0 4 0 0 0 2 0 0 6 (2/2) Totals (G) 35 25 52 10 17 42 70 41 36 328


394

Table L17 Reported Factors Related to the Experience of Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Mediating Factors 27 23 49 21 30 32 35 24 34 275 (9/19) Developmental Factors 23 12 31 16 21 28 23 25 16 195 (9/14) Impeding Factors 4 12 12 11 5 12 18 11 9 94 (9/11) Contributing Factors 5 3 3 2 3 5 2 2 3 28 (9/16) Totals (G) 59 50 95 50 59 77 78 62 62 592


395

Table L18 Reported Contributing Factors to the Seeking of Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Focus Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) INT/EXT Insight 4 0 2 3 5 6 2 7 1 30 (8/6) INT Relationship to Source 1 1 1 2 1 4 2 0 2 14 (8/1) INT Calling 14 2 7 0 3 2 2 0 1 31 (7/8) INT Life Experience 4 0 3 0 1 5 2 3 2 20 (7/1) EXT Religious Experience 1 1 0 0 2 2 1 2 2 11 (7/1) INT Spiritual Practice 0 1 0 2 0 1 0 0 1 5 (4/5) EXT EHEs* 1 2 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 5 (4/1) INT Culture 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 1 6 (3/1) EXT Education-Study 3 0 0 0 0 2 0 1 0 6 (3/1) EXT Predisposition 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 3 (3/1) INT Totals (G) 30 7 15 8 13 23 9 16 10 131

Note. Sorted by agreement (A), groundedness (G), and density (D). Association with internally or externally focused contributing factors (Focus): INT = Internal Factors; EXT = External Factors. *EHEs: refers to Exceptional Human Experiences.

396

Table L19 Reported Impeding Factors (Obstacles) Related to the Experience of Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Stages Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) s/r/f Personal Constructs 3 7 5 9 2 10 8 9 5 58 (9/22) s/r/f Ego 0 3 1 4 0 3 6 5 1 23 (7/5) s/r/f Lack of Awareness 1 0 1 0 1 2 2 1 2 10 (7/5) s/r/f Fear 1 0 2 1 0 0 2 5 1 12 (6/5) s/r/f Mental Turmoil 0 1 0 3 1 1 4 1 0 11 (6/5) s/r/f Lack of Surrender 0 0 1 1 1 1 4 1 0 9 (6/5) s/r/f Attachment 1 1 2 1 0 1 1 0 0 7 (6/5) s/r/f Emotional Turmoil 0 2 0 4 2 0 0 2 1 11 (5/5) s/r/f Lack of Faith 0 0 0 1 1 1 3 0 0 6 (4/3) f Resistance to Change 0 0 0 1 0 0 2 2 1 6 (4/3) s/r/f Doubt 0 0 0 0 1 0 3 2 0 6 (3/3) s/rf Judgment 0 0 1 1 0 0 3 0 0 5 (3/5) s/r/f Lack of Time/Space 0 0 2 0 2 0 1 0 0 5 (3/4) s/r/f Logic Reason 0 0 0 0 0 1 3 1 0 5 (3/2) s/r/f Lack of Acceptance 0 0 0 0 0 1 2 0 1 4 (3/4) s/r/f Expectation 0 2 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 4 (3/3) s/f Lack of Forgiveness 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 1 3 (2/5) s/r/f Lack of Commitment 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 2 (2/6) s/r/f

397

Table L19 (Continued) Interviews Totals Stages Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) s/r/f Lack of Courage 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 2 (2/3) f Not Following 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 (1/2) s/r/f Not Gathering Helpers 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 (1/3) f Totals (G) 6 16 20 26 12 22 47 29 14 192

Note. Sorted by agreement (A), groundedness (G), and density (D). Associations between obstacles and stage of guidance: s = seeking; r = receiving; f = following.

398

Table L20 Reported Impeding Factors (Obstacles) Related to Personal Constructs Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Constructs of Source 1 0 4 3 2 8 8 5 2 33 (8/5) Ego 0 0 1 6 0 2 3 3 1 16 (6/5) Lack of Awareness 1 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 4 (4/5) Fear 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 2 0 5 (3/5) Emotional-Turmoil 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 2 0 4 (3/5) Attachment 0 1 2 0 0 1 0 0 0 4 (3/5) Doubt 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 1 0 4 (2/3) Resistance to Change 0 0 0 1 0 0 2 0 0 3 (2/3) Judgment 0 0 1 0 0 0 2 0 0 3 (2/5) Mental Turmoil 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 2 (2/5) Expectation 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 2 (2/3) Totals (G) 3 2 9 12 3 12 21 14 4 80


399

Table L21 Reported Processes Related to Impeding Personal Constructs and Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Perceptual-Shift 2 2 4 6 1 7 7 4 3 36 (9/11) Construct Transcendence 1 3 1 2 4 2 4 3 2 22 (9/7) Transcendent Education 1 0 2 1 2 2 4 1 2 15 (8/23) Construct Change 1 0 2 1 1 1 5 0 1 12 (7/3) Resistance to Change 0 0 0 1 0 0 2 0 0 3 (2/3) Totals (G) 5 5 9 11 8 12 22 8 8 88


400

Table L22 Reported Developmental Factors Related to the Experience of Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Relationship to Source 15 5 28 13 18 19 13 16 15 142 (9/27) Surrender 3 3 5 5 3 3 10 4 1 37 (9/23) Faith 4 7 3 1 3 3 6 4 1 32 (9/7) Will 3 2 1 4 1 7 2 4 3 27 (9/12) Totals (G) 25 17 37 23 25 32 31 28 20 238


401

Table L23 Reported Aspects and Elements of Surrender Associated with Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Surrender of Will 1 1 1 4 1 1 2 4 1 16 (9/3) Surrender to Faith 1 3 3 0 1 3 4 2 0 17 (7/2) Practicing Surrender 1 1 2 2 0 2 4 2 0 14 (7/2) Surrender of Constructs 0 0 1 2 1 2 3 3 0 12 (6/3) Lack of Surrender 0 0 1 1 1 1 4 1 0 9 (6/5) Effect of Surrender 1 0 0 0 1 1 2 1 0 6 (5/2) Experience of Surrender 1 0 1 0 1 0 2 0 0 5 (4/2) Surrender of Outcome 2 0 0 0 0 1 2 0 0 5 (3/3) Totals (G) 7 5 9 9 6 11 23 13 1 84


402

Table L24 Reported Mediating Factors Related to the Experience of Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Effort and Grace 22 19 40 20 27 23 28 21 28 228 (9/6) Set-and-Setting 1 8 19 1 4 8 8 1 10 60 (9/2) Experience and Events 7 4 7 2 4 6 8 3 2 43 (9/3) Transcendent Education 2 1 3 2 3 2 4 2 3 22 (9/29) Totals (G) 32 32 69 25 38 39 48 27 43 353


403

Table L25 Synergy of Effort and Grace Reported by the Coresearchers Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Effort-and-Grace 22 19 40 20 27 23 28 21 28 228 (9/5) Effort 9 13 21 18 11 19 13 18 19 141 (9/9) Grace 17 7 20 5 17 6 17 7 12 108 (9/9) Effort-Grace-Seeking 9 8 17 10 8 15 15 11 10 103 (9/2) Effort-Seeking 2 6 10 10 3 12 8 10 8 69 (9/2) Grace-Seeking 8 3 8 0 6 5 9 3 4 46 (8/3) Effort-Grace-Receiving 5 5 11 10 9 9 14 10 4 77 (9/2) Grace-Receiving 5 2 9 3 8 5 8 3 2 45 (9/3) Effort-Receiving 0 4 3 10 2 6 7 9 2 43 (8/2) Effort-Grace-Following 7 4 14 2 11 7 15 13 11 84 (9/3) Effort-Following 2 3 5 2 3 4 7 10 6 42 (9/2) Grace-Following 6 2 10 0 9 4 9 5 6 51 (8/3) Totals (G) 92 76 168 90 114 115 150 120 112 1037

Note. Sorted by code category, agreement (A), groundedness (G), and density (D).

404

Table L26 Reported Set and Setting Tools, Practices, and Factors Associated with Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Ritual 0 1 8 0 1 1 1 0 5 17 (6/4) Set-Constructs 0 2 2 1 0 2 1 0 1 9 (6/3) Sacred Context 0 4 5 0 0 1 2 0 4 16 (5/3) Retreats 0 0 3 1 0 1 2 0 2 9 (5/2) Sacred Objects 0 3 10 0 0 0 2 0 2 17 (4/4) Time in Nature 1 0 3 0 0 3 2 0 0 9 (4/2) Creating Time and Space 0 0 3 0 2 1 1 0 0 7 (4/4) Sacred Space 1 2 0 0 0 0 1 0 3 7 (4/2) Commitment to Practice 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 4 (4/3) Totals (G) 2 12 35 2 4 9 13 1 17 95


405

Table L27 Reported Aspects and Elements of Transcendent Education Related to Divine Guidance Interviews Totals Codes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 G (A/D) Personal Constructs 1 0 2 1 2 2 4 1 2 15 (8/22) Perceptual-Shift 1 0 3 1 1 2 4 0 2 14 (7/11) Life Change/Transformation 2 1 2 1 3 0 3 0 1 13 (7/3) Incorporation 1 0 1 0 3 1 4 1 1 12 (7/26) Obstacles 0 0 1 0 2 1 2 1 1 8 (6/54) Discernment 1 0 0 1 1 1 2 2 0 8 (6/31) Construct Transcendence 1 0 0 0 3 1 3 0 1 9 (5/7) Spiritual Growth 0 1 2 1 0 1 0 2 1 8 (5/6) Purification 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 4 (4/21) Totals (G) 7 2 12 5 16 10 22 8 9 91


406

Table L28 Reported Metaphors of Divine Encounter Metaphor CR Frequency Quotations Divine Invitation 001 3/9 CR:001:261-273; CR:003:67-75;

CR:005:6-30, 305-312

Divine Pipeline 002 1/9 CR:002:41-51

Voices of Nature 003 2/9 CR:003:121-147, 137-147, 365-

371, 588-595; CR:006:538-556,

557-575

Divine Stillness 004 1/9 CR:004:262-269, 273-400, 304-

308, 333-341

Inner River 005 1/9 CR:005:23-26

Life as Guidance 006 5/9 CR:001:224-228; CR:002:325-

331; CR:004:134-203;

CR:005:47-53; CR:006:13-14,

522-532, 623-624

Divine Vehicle 007 2/9 CR:007:153-156, 216-220, 400-

403, 457-465; CR:008:624-635,

637-643

407

Table L28 (Continued) Metaphor CR Frequency Quotations Divine Flow 008 6/9 CR:001:437-439; CR:002:38-41,

53-54, 124-125, 135-137, 262-

265, 477-483; CR:004:357-364;

CR:005:23-26; CR:008:285-290,

342-344, 461-464, 559-573;

CR:009:602-626

Dwelling Place 009 1/9 CR:009:348-402, 576-577, 600- 626

Note. Sorted by Coresearcher Number (CR). Metaphor = metaphor of divine encounter. Interview = primary coresearcher/interview (INT). Frequency = number of coresearchers reporting pattern (reported/total). Quotations = quotations related to pattern, coded by coresearcher number (e.g., CR:001) and line numbers from transcripts in Appendix J.

408

Table L29 Researcher Self-Experimentation Methods Method Phase Process Type Years Effect Yoga

1/2/3 PUR/SS CVC/SC/MD 18 10

A Course in Miracles

1/2/3 G/PUR/SS CVC/MT/MD 14 10

Bibliomancy

1/2/3 G/DIV CVC/MT 13 10

Daily Word

1/2/3 G/SS SC 12 10

I Ching

1/2/3 G/DIV/SS CVC/SC/MT 9 10

Aikido Centering Practice


Muscle Testing

3 G/DIV CVC 7 10

Judaic Sabbath Practice

1/2/3 PUR/SS CVC/MD 6 10

Judaic Daily Practice

1/2 PUR/SS CVC/SC/MT 6 10

BioSpiritual Focusing

1/2/3 G/PUR/SS CVC/SC/MD 4 10

Qi Gong


Ophanim (Judaic Yoga)


Sacred Clothing

1/2 PUR/SS CVC/MD 2 10

Integral Transformative Practice

3 PUR/SS CVC/SC/MD 1 10

Psychic Energy Practice


Spiritual Autobiography

1 G/PUR SC/MT 1 10

Spiritual Exegesis

1 G/PUR SC/MT 1 10

Mindfulness Meditation


409

Table L29 (Continued) Method Phase Process Type Years Effect Feng Shui

1/2/3 G/PUR/SS CVC/MT 5 9

Shamanic Practices

1/2/3 G/PUR/SS CVC/MT 5 9

Practice of the Presence of God


Self-Hypnosis

1/3 G/PUR/SS CVC/SC/MD 4 9

T’ai Chi


Gurdjieff Morning Exercise


Wiemer (1997) Guidance Method

1/2/3 G CVC 1 9

Myss (2001) Guidance Practices

3 G/PUR CVC/SC/MT 1 9

Discernment of Spirits

1 G/PUR CVC/SC 1 9

Labowitz (1996) Guidance Method

1 G/PUR CVC/MT 1 9

Energy Tapping

3 PUR/SS CVC/MD 1 9

Gentle Wind Healing Instruments

3 PUR/SS CVC/MD 1 9

Kabbalah Cards

3 G/DIV CVC/MT 1 9

Sufi Salat

3 PUR/SS CVC/SC 1 9

Pendulum

1/3 G/DIV CVC 2 8

Chinese Astrology

3 G/DIV CVC/MT 1 8

Sign of the Cross

3 PUR/SS CVC/SC 1 8

Tarot

1/3 G/DIV CVC/MT 5 7

Astrology

1/3 G/DIV CVC/MT 4 7

410

Table L29 (Continued) Method Phase Process Type Years Effect Runes

1 G/DIV CVC/MT 2 7

Shumsky (1996) Guidance Method

1 G CVC 1 7

Virtue (1998) Guidance Method 1 G CVC 1 7

Note. Sorted by Effect, Years, Phase, Process, Type, and Method. Phase: 1 = Self-Inquiry; 2 = Interviews; 3 = Data Treatment. Process: G = Guidance; DIV = Divination; PUR = Purification; SS = Set & Setting. Type: SC = Systematic Contemplation; MT = Metaphysical Thinking; MD = Metaphysical Deconstruction; CVC = Cultivation of Visionary Capabilities. Years = number of years of practice/training (1 = 1 year or less). Effect (Scale of 1 to 10): 1 = no perceived effect; 10 = high degree of perceived effect.

411

Table L30 Reported Structures of Experience and Literature Correlations Structures of Experience Literature Correlations

Source Assagioli, 1976; Firman & Gila, 1997; Whitmont, 1987; Wilson, 1991

Seeking, Receiving, and Following Campbell, 1949; Cordner, 1981; Crites, 1971; Hymer, 1990; Ricoeur, 1991

Preparation, Purification, and Practice Bogart, 1997; Caprio & Hedberg, 1986; Kwon, 2001; Liebert, 1989; Loewe & Blacker, 1981; Muthengi, 1993; Parks, 2002; Smith, 1983; Storm & Thalbourne, 2001a, 2001b; Underhill, 1961; Walsh, 1999; Wilkinson, 1997

Forms, Content, and Qualities Alschuler, 1987, 1993; Escoffon, 1994; Hart, 1998; Hastings, 1991; Heery, 1989; Hymer, 1990; Kelly, 1998; Klimo, 1998; Mann, 1975; Peat, 1987; Sowerby, 2001; Underhill, 1961; Vaughan, 1979

Effects (Fruits) Baugh, 1988; Boersma, 1989; Ellison & Levin, 1998; Matthews et al., 1998; Pollner, 1989; Spring, 2002

412

Table L30 (Continued) Structures of Experience Literature Correlations

Discernment Alschuler, 1987; Julian, 1987; Lukoff, Lu, & Turner, 1998; Reichenbach, 1997; Sabini, 1987; Setzer, 1978; Stifler et al., 1993

Incorporation Baugh, 1998; Boersma, 1989; Ellison & Levin, 1998; Matthews et al., 1998; Pollner, 1989; Spring, 2002

Contributing Factors Assagioli, 1973; Bogart, 1992, 1994; Eliade, 1957; James, 1961; Sobosan, 1985

Impeding Factors (Obstacles) Jung, 1960; Smith, 1983; Smith, 1991; Underhill, 1961; Walsh, 1999

Developmental Factors Assagioli, 1976; Baugh, 1988; Bogart, 1994; Cordner, 1981; Firman & Gila, 1997; James, 1961; May, 1982; Wilber, 1980

Mediating Factors Alschuler, 1987, 1993; Bogart, 1997; Fleming, 1983; James, 1961; Klimo, 1998; Rosegrant, 1976; Smith, 1983

Note. Structures of Experience = major structures of the experience commonly reported by the coresearchers of this study. Literature Correlations = citations from some of the literature correlated to the reported structures of experience.

413

414

Appendix M: Guidance Experience Semantic Network

The following is the final semantic network generated by the qualitative content

analysis process using the ATLAS.ti computer program. This visual object-relationship

semantic network displays all the primary codes, their code families, and their patterns of

relationship, as reported in the current study, creating a visual map of the experience of

divine guidance. Below is the list of the 183 codes included in this network, followed by the

network diagram on the next page.

Codes (183): [Acceptance] [Activities] [Alignment] [Angels] [Attachment] [Attributes] [Attunement] [Authenticity] [Authorization] [Awareness] [Behavior Modification] [Being Present] [Being with What Is] [Body Practices] [Breathing] [Calling] [Centering] [Channeling] [Chanting] [Clarity] [Commitment] [Compassion] [Confirmation of the Heart] [Conformity of Experience] [Consolation] [Construct Transcendence] [Contemplation] [Content] [Contributing Factors] [Courage] [Creating the Space] [Culture] [Detachment to Outcome] [Developmental-Factors] [Direction] [Discernment] [Discernment Practice] [Divination] [Divine Being] [Divine Consciousness] [Divine Dialoguing] [Divine Father] [Divine Flow] [Divine Force] [Divine Mother] [Doubt] [Dreams] [Earth Mother] [Education-Study] [Effect-Centeredness] [Effects] [Effects of Experience] [Effort-and-Grace] [Ego] [EHEs] [Emotional Turmoil] [Encouragement] [Energetic-Sense] [Expectation] [Extrication of Obstacles] [Faith] [Fear] [Felt-Sense] [Following] [Following Bliss] [Forgiveness] [Form] [Gathering Helpers] [God] [Gratefulness] [Ground of Being] [Guidance Practice] [Healing] [Heart-Opening] [Higher Self] [Impeding-Factors] [Incorporation] [Information] [Inner Dictation] [Inner Listening] [Inner Voice] [Insight] [Inspiration] [Inspired Action] [Interconnectedness] [Intuition] [Judgment] [Level of Willingness] [Life-Experience/Events] [Life Changes-Transformation] [Life Experience] [Logic-Reason] [Mediating-Factors] [Meditation] [Mental Turmoil] [Mindfulness] [Miracles] [Motives] [Nature Spirits] [Nature Time] [Not Following] [Obstacles] [Openness to Receive] [Outer Voice] [Peak Experience] [Perceptual Shift] [Personal Constructs] [Prayer/Blessing] [Predisposition] [Preparation] [Presence] [Purification] [Qualities] [Receiving] [Recurrent Inquiry] [Religious Experience] [Resistance to Change] [Retreats] [Revelation] [Right Action] [Ritual] [Sacred Context] [Sacred Objects] [Sacred Space] [Sacred Text] [Saints and Prophets] [Sanctification] [Seeking] [Self-Reflection] [Sense of Awe] [Sense of Being Present] [Sense of Calmness] [Sense of Energy] [Sense of Freedom] [Sense of Goodness] [Sense of Grace-Blessing] [Sense of Gratitude] [Sense of Harmony-Balance] [Sense of Joy] [Sense of Light] [Sense of Love] [Sense of Openness] [Sense of Peace] [Sense of Purpose-Direction] [Sense of Sacredness] [Sense of Satisfaction] [Sense of Source] [Sense of Spontaneity] [Sense of Timelessness] [Sense of Union] [Sense of Unselfconsciousness] [Set-Constructs] [Set-Setting] [Set and Setting] [Signs and Wonders] [Silence/Stillness] [Source] [Source-Constructs] [Source-Identity] [Source-Relationship] [Spirit] [Spirits] [Spiritual Direction] [Spiritual Growth] [Spiritual Practice] [Strength] [Surrender] [Synchronicities] [Test and Compare] [Thought-Sense] [Time and Space] [Tools-Practices] [Transcendent Education] [Trial and Error] [Vision Quest] [Visions] [Visualization] [Voice of Nature] [Waiting for an Answer] [Warning] [Watching for Signs] [Will] [Wisdom]

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Sen

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Sen

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Appendix N: Code Relations Report

The following is a thesaurus-style alphabetic report of the primary codes for the

common categories, factors, and patterns of the experience of divine guidance reported by

the coresearchers of this study, along with their direct relations to other codes. Each code-

to-code relationship is textually displayed as: CODE_A <relation> CODE_B.

Activities <is associated with> Attributes <is associated with> Source <is a> Source-Constructs Calling <is associated with> Activities Grace <is associated with> Activities Motives <is associated with> Activities Receiving <is associated with> Activities Source-Identity <is associated with> Activities Transcendent Education <is associated with> Activities Attributes <is associated with> Source <is a> Source-Constructs Activities <is associated with> Attributes Motives <is associated with> Attributes Source-Identity <is associated with> Attributes Content <is associated with> Form <is associated with> Qualities <is associated with> Receiving Authorization <is a> Content Behavior Modification <is a> Content Consolation <is a> Content Direction <is a> Content Discernment <is associated with> Content Incorporation <is associated with> Content Information <is a> Content Insight <is a> Content Inspiration <is a> Content Perceptual Shift <is a> Content Revelation <is a> Content Warning <is a> Content Contributing Factors <is associated with> Preparation <is associated with> Purification <is cause of> Seeking Calling <is a> Contributing Factors

416

Contributing-Factors-EXT <is part of> Contributing Factors Contributing-Factors-INT <is part of> Contributing Factors Culture <is a> Contributing Factors Developmental-Factors <is associated with> Contributing Factors Education-Study <is a> Contributing Factors EHE <is a> Contributing Factors Impeding-Factors <is associated with> Contributing Factors Insight <is a> Contributing Factors Life Experience <is a> Contributing Factors Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Contributing Factors Predisposition <is a> Contributing Factors Prep-Contributing-Factors <is associated with> Contributing Factors Purification-Cont-Factors <is associated with> Contributing Factors Religious Experience <is a> Contributing Factors Source <is associated with> Contributing Factors Spiritual-Practice/Con-Factors <is associated with> Contributing Factors Spiritual Practice <is a> Contributing Factors Developmental-Factors <is associated with> Contributing Factors <is associated with> Following <is associated with> Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Receiving <is associated with> Seeking <is associated with> Source Discernment <is associated with> Developmental-Factors Effort-and-Grace <is associated with> Developmental-Factors Faith <is a> Developmental-Factors Impeding-Factors <is associated with> Developmental-Factors Incorporation <is associated with> Developmental-Factors Obstacles <is associated with> Developmental-Factors Prep-Developmental-Factors <is associated with> Developmental-Factors Purification <is associated with> Developmental-Factors Purification-Dev-Factors <is associated with> Developmental-Factors Source-Constructs <is associated with> Developmental-Factors Source-Factors <is associated with> Developmental-Factors Source-Relationship <is a> Developmental-Factors Surrender <is a> Developmental-Factors Will <is a> Developmental-Factors Discernment <is associated with> Content <is associated with> Developmental-Factors <is associated with> Effects <Leads to> Incorporation <is associated with> Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Seeking <is associated with> Source

417

<is associated with> Spiritual Direction <is a> Tools-Practices Clarity <is associated with> Discernment Confirmation of the Heart <is part of> Discernment Conformity of Experience <is part of> Discernment Detachment to Outcome <is part of> Discernment Discernment-Clarity <is part of> Discernment Discernment-Openness <is part of> Discernment Discernment-Spirit-Direction <is part of> Discernment Discernment-Trans-Education <is part of> Discernment Discernment Practice <is associated with> Discernment Effects of Experience <is part of> Discernment Effort <is associated with> Discernment Extrication of Obstacles <is part of> Discernment Following <is associated with> Discernment Following Bliss <is part of> Discernment Form <is associated with> Discernment Level of Willingness <is part of> Discernment Qualities <is associated with> Discernment Receiving <Leads to> Discernment Recurrent Inquiry <is part of> Discernment Sense of Openness <is associated with> Discernment Sense of Source <is part of> Discernment Surrender-Outcome <is associated with> Discernment Synchronicities <is associated with> Discernment Test and Compare <is part of> Discernment Transcendent Education <is associated with> Discernment Trial and Error <is part of> Discernment Effects <is associated with> Following <is associated with> Grace <is associated with> Grace-Presence <is associated with> Source-Constructs Acceptance <is a> Effects Authenticity <is a> Effects Awareness <is a> Effects Clarity <is a> Effects Commitment <is a> Effects Consolation <is a> Effects Courage <is a> Effects Discernment <is associated with> Effects Divine Flow <is a> Effects Effect-Acceptance <is a> Effects Effect-Authenticity <is a> Effects Effect-Awareness <is a> Effects Effect-Awe <is a> Effects

418

Effect-Calmness <is a> Effects Effect-Centeredness <is a> Effects Effect-Clarity <is a> Effects Effect-Commitment <is a> Effects Effect-Construct-Change <is a> Effects Effect-Courage <is a> Effects Effect-Divine-Flow <is a> Effects Effect-Energy <is a> Effects Effect-Faith <is a> Effects Effect-Forgiveness <is a> Effects Effect-Freedom <is a> Effects Effect-Goodness <is a> Effects Effect-Grace/Blessing <is a> Effects Effect-Gratitude <is a> Effects Effect-Harmony/Balance <is a> Effects Effect-Healing <is a> Effects Effect-Heart-Opening <is a> Effects Effect-Incorporation <is a> Effects Effect-Insight <is a> Effects Effect-Interconnectedness <is a> Effects Effect-Joy <is a> Effects Effect-Light <is a> Effects Effect-Love <is a> Effects Effect-Openness <is a> Effects Effect-Peace <is a> Effects Effect-Perceptual-Shift <is a> Effects Effect-Presence <is a> Effects Effect-Purification <is a> Effects Effect-Self-Reflection <is a> Effects Effect-Silence/Stillness <is a> Effects Effect-Spiritual-Growth <is a> Effects Effect-Spontaneity <is a> Effects Effect-Strength <is a> Effects Effect-Surrender <is a> Effects Effect-Synchronicity <is a> Effects Effect-Timelessness <is a> Effects Effect-Transformation <is a> Effects Effect-Union <is a> Effects Effect-Unselfconsciousness <is a> Effects Effect-Wisdom <is a> Effects Effects of Experience <is associated with> Effects Encouragement <is a> Effects Faith <is a> Effects Forgiveness <is a> Effects Healing <is a> Effects Heart-Opening <is a> Effects

419

Incorporation <Leads to> Effects Insight <is a> Effects Interconnectedness <is a> Effects Life Changes-Transformation <is a> Effects Miracles <is a> Effects Peak Experience <is a> Effects Perceptual Shift <is a> Effects Presence <is a> Effects Purification <is a> Effects Qualities <is associated with> Effects Receiving <Leads to> Effects Self-Reflection <is a> Effects Sense of Awe <is a> Effects Sense of Calmness <is a> Effects Sense of Energy <is a> Effects Sense of Freedom <is a> Effects Sense of Goodness <is a> Effects Sense of Grace-Blessing <is a> Effects Sense of Gratitude <is a> Effects Sense of Harmony-Balance <is a> Effects Sense of Joy <is a> Effects Sense of Light <is a> Effects Sense of Love <is a> Effects Sense of Openness <is a> Effects Sense of Peace <is a> Effects Sense of Purpose-Direction <is a> Effects Sense of Sacredness <is a> Effects Sense of Satisfaction <is a> Effects Sense of Spontaneity <is a> Effects Sense of Timelessness <is a> Effects Sense of Union <is a> Effects Sense of Unselfconsciousness <is a> Effects Silence/Stillness <is a> Effects Source <is cause of> Effects Spiritual Growth <is a> Effects Strength <is a> Effects Surrender <is a> Effects Synchronicities <is a> Effects Wisdom <is a> Effects Effort <is associated with> Discernment <is associated with> Effort-and-Grace <is associated with> Following <is associated with> Grace <is associated with> Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Purification

420

<is associated with> Receiving <is associated with> Seeking <is associated with> Tools-Practices Effort-Following <is associated with> Effort Effort-Receiving <is associated with> Effort Effort-Seeking <is associated with> Effort Prep-Effort <is associated with> Effort Purification-Effort <is associated with> Effort Effort-and-Grace <is associated with> Developmental-Factors <is associated with> Impeding-Factors <is a> Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Source <is associated with> Transcendent Education Effort <is associated with> Effort-and-Grace Effort-Grace-Following <is part of> Effort-and-Grace Effort-Grace-Receiving <is part of> Effort-and-Grace Effort-Grace-Seeking <is part of> Effort-and-Grace Grace <is associated with> Effort-and-Grace Faith <is a> Developmental-Factors <is a> Effects <Lack of Leads to> Obstacles <is associated with> Source <Leads to> Surrender Act-of-Faith <is part of> Faith Effect-Faith <is associated with> Faith Faith-Strengthened <is part of> Faith Lack-of-Faith <is associated with> Faith Purification <Leads to> Faith Surrender-and-Faith <is associated with> Faith Will <is associated with> Faith Following <is associated with> Discernment <is associated with> Obstacles-to-Following <is associated with> Preparation <Leads to> Seeking Developmental-Factors <is associated with> Following Effects <is associated with> Following Effort <is associated with> Following Effort-Following <is associated with> Following Effort-Grace-Following <is associated with> Following Faith-Strengthened <is associated with> Following Grace <is associated with> Following Grace-Following <is associated with> Following Impeding-Factors <is associated with> Following

421

Incorporation <is associated with> Following Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Following Obstacles <is associated with> Following Receiving <Leads to> Following Source <is associated with> Following Spiritual Direction <is associated with> Following Story-Following <is associated with> Following Transcendent Education <is associated with> Following Will <is associated with> Following Form <is associated with> Discernment <is associated with> Qualities <is associated with> Source-Constructs Channeling <is a> Form Conformity of Experience <is associated with> Form Content <is associated with> Form Divination <is a> Form Divine Flow <is a> Form Dreams <is a> Form Energetic-Sense <is a> Form Felt-Sense <is a> Form Inner Dictation <is a> Form Inner Voice <is a> Form Insight <is a> Form Inspiration <is a> Form Intuition <is a> Form Life Changes-Transformation <is a> Form Outer Voice <is a> Form Peak Experience <is a> Form Perceptual Shift <is a> Form Presence <is a> Form Receiving <is associated with> Form Revelation <is a> Form Sense of Source <is associated with> Form Signs & Wonders <is a> Form Silence/Stillness <is associated with> Form Source <is associated with> Form Synchronicities <is a> Form Thought-Sense <is a> Form Transcendent Education <is associated with> Form Visions <is a> Form Voice of Nature <is a> Form Grace <is associated with> Activities <Leads to> Calling <is associated with> Effort-and-Grace

422

<is associated with> Following <is associated with> Grace-Presence <is associated with> Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Motives <is associated with> Purification <Leads to> Receiving <is associated with> Seeking Divine-Will <Leads to> Grace Effects <is associated with> Grace Effort <is associated with> Grace Grace-Following <is associated with> Grace Grace-Receiving <is associated with> Grace Grace-Seeking <is associated with> Grace Prep-Grace <is associated with> Grace Presence <is associated with> Grace Purification-Grace <is associated with> Grace Sense of Grace-Blessing <is associated with> Grace Source <is cause of> Grace Surrender <Leads to> Grace Transcendent Education <is associated with> Grace Will <is associated with> Grace Impeding-Factors <is associated with> Contributing Factors <is associated with> Developmental-Factors <is associated with> Following <is associated with> Mediating-Factors <Changed by> Purification <Changed by> Tools-Practices Effort-and-Grace <is associated with> Impeding-Factors Obstacles <is part of> Impeding-Factors Obstacles-to-Following <is associated with> Impeding-Factors Obstacles-to-Receiving <is associated with> Impeding-Factors Obstacles-to-Seeking <is associated with> Impeding-Factors Personal Constructs <is part of> Impeding-Factors Prep-Impeding-Factors <is associated with> Impeding-Factors Purification-Imped-Factors <is associated with> Impeding-Factors Receiving <is associated with> Impeding-Factors Seeking <is associated with> Impeding-Factors Incorporation <is associated with> Content <is associated with> Developmental-Factors <Leads to> Effects <is associated with> Following <is associated with> Mediating-Factors Alignment <is part of> Incorporation Attunement <is part of> Incorporation

423

Being Present <is part of> Incorporation Being with What Is <is part of> Incorporation Construct Transcendence <is part of> Incorporation Creating the Space <is part of> Incorporation Discernment <Leads to> Incorporation Discernment Practice <is part of> Incorporation Effect-Incorporation <is associated with> Incorporation Gathering Helpers <is part of> Incorporation Gratefulness <is part of> Incorporation Guidance Practice <is part of> Incorporation Healing <is associated with> Incorporation Inner Listening <is part of> Incorporation Inspired Action <is part of> Incorporation Openness to Receive <is part of> Incorporation Resonant Learning <is associated with> Incorporation Right Action <Leads to> Incorporation Sanctification <is part of> Incorporation Spiritual-Practice/Incorporation <is associated with> Incorporation Spiritual Growth <is property of> Incorporation Spiritual Practice <is part of> Incorporation Tools-Practices <is associated with> Incorporation Trans-Ed-Incorporation <is associated with> Incorporation Transcendent Education <is associated with> Incorporation Waiting for an Answer <is part of> Incorporation Watching for Signs <is part of> Incorporation Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Contributing Factors <is associated with> Following <is associated with> Preparation <is associated with> Purification <is associated with> Receiving <is associated with> Seeking <is associated with> Source <is associated with> Tools-Practices Developmental-Factors <is associated with> Mediating-Factors Discernment <is associated with> Mediating-Factors Effort <is associated with> Mediating-Factors Effort-and-Grace <is a> Mediating-Factors Grace <is associated with> Mediating-Factors Impeding-Factors <is associated with> Mediating-Factors Incorporation <is associated with> Mediating-Factors Life-Experience/Events <is a> Mediating-Factors Obstacles <is associated with> Mediating-Factors Prep-Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Mediating-Factors Purification-Med-Factors <is associated with> Mediating-Factors Set-Setting <is a> Mediating-Factors

424

Set and Setting <is associated with> Mediating-Factors Transcendent Education <is a> Mediating-Factors Motives <is associated with> Activities <is associated with> Attributes <is associated with> Source <is a> Source-Constructs Calling <is associated with> Motives Grace <is associated with> Motives Source-Identity <is associated with> Motives Transcendent Education <is associated with> Motives Obstacles <is associated with> Developmental-Factors <is associated with> Following <is part of> Impeding-Factors <is associated with> Mediating-Factors <Changed by> Purification <is associated with> Receiving <is associated with> Seeking <Changed by> Tools-Practices Acceptance <Lack of Leads to> Obstacles Attachment <is a> Obstacles Attachment-Constructs <is associated with> Obstacles Awareness <Lack of Leads to> Obstacles Courage <Lack of Leads to> Obstacles Detachment to Outcome <is associated with> Obstacles Doubt <is a> Obstacles Doubt-Constructs <is associated with> Obstacles Ego <is a> Obstacles Ego-Constructs <is associated with> Obstacles Emotional-Constructs <is associated with> Obstacles Emotional Turmoil <is a> Obstacles Expectation <is a> Obstacles Expectation-Constructs <is associated with> Obstacles Extrication of Obstacles <is associated with> Obstacles Faith <Lack of Leads to> Obstacles Fear <is a> Obstacles Fear-Constructs <is associated with> Obstacles Forgiveness <Lack of Leads to> Obstacles Gathering Helpers <Lack of Leads to> Obstacles Judgment <is a> Obstacles Judgment-Constructs <is associated with> Obstacles Lack-of-Acceptance <is a> Obstacles Lack-of-Awareness <is a> Obstacles Lack-of-Awareness-Constructs <is associated with> Obstacles Lack-of-Commitment <is a> Obstacles

425

Lack-of-Courage <is a> Obstacles Lack-of-Faith <is a> Obstacles Lack-of-Forgiveness <is a> Obstacles Lack-of-Surrender <is a> Obstacles Lack-of-Time-Space <is a> Obstacles Logic-Reason <is a> Obstacles Mental-Constructs <is associated with> Obstacles Mental Turmoil <is a> Obstacles Not-Gathering-Helpers <is a> Obstacles Not Following <is a> Obstacles Obstacles-to-Following <is associated with> Obstacles Obstacles-to-Receiving <is associated with> Obstacles Obstacles-to-Seeking <is associated with> Obstacles Personal Constructs <is a> Obstacles Resistance-to-Change-Constructs <is associated with> Obstacles Resistance to Change <is a> Obstacles Set-Constructs <is associated with> Obstacles Set and Setting <is associated with> Obstacles Source-Per-Constructs <is associated with> Obstacles Surrender <Lack of Leads to> Obstacles Surrender-Constructs <is associated with> Obstacles Time and Space <Lack of Leads to> Obstacles Trans-Ed-Obstacles <is associated with> Obstacles Trial and Error <is associated with> Obstacles Will <is associated with> Obstacles Personal Constructs <Changed by> Construct Transcendence <is part of> Impeding-Factors <is a> Obstacles <is associated with> Obstacles-to-Following <is associated with> Obstacles-to-Receiving <is associated with> Obstacles-to-Seeking <Changed by> Perceptual Shift <is associated with> Purification <is associated with> Transcendent Education Attachment <is associated with> Personal Constructs Attachment-Constructs <is associated with> Personal Constructs Doubt-Constructs <is associated with> Personal Constructs Ego-Constructs <is associated with> Personal Constructs Emotional-Constructs <is associated with> Personal Constructs Expectation-Constructs <is associated with> Personal Constructs Fear-Constructs <is associated with> Personal Constructs Judgment-Constructs <is associated with> Personal Constructs Lack-of-Awareness-Constructs <is associated with> Personal Constructs Mental-Constructs <is associated with> Personal Constructs Perceptual-Shift-Practices <is associated with> Personal Constructs

426

Resistance-to-Change-Constructs <is associated with> Personal Constructs Set-Constructs <is associated with> Personal Constructs Source-Per-Constructs <is associated with> Personal Constructs Surrender-Constructs <is associated with> Personal Constructs Trans-Ed-Constructs <is associated with> Personal Constructs Preparation <Leads to> Purification <Leads to> Transcendent Education Calling <Leads to> Preparation Contributing Factors <is associated with> Preparation Following <is associated with> Preparation Guidance Practice <is associated with> Preparation Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Preparation Prep-Calling <is associated with> Preparation Prep-Contributing-Factors <is associated with> Preparation Prep-Developmental-Factors <is associated with> Preparation Prep-Effort <is associated with> Preparation Prep-Grace <is associated with> Preparation Prep-Impeding-Factors <is associated with> Preparation Prep-Life-Experience <is associated with> Preparation Prep-Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Preparation Prep-Practice <is associated with> Preparation Prep-Set-Setting <is associated with> Preparation Preparation-Purification <is associated with> Preparation Seeking <is associated with> Preparation Set and Setting <is associated with> Preparation Spiritual Direction <is associated with> Preparation Spiritual Growth <is associated with> Preparation Spiritual Practice <is associated with> Preparation Tools-Practices <is part of> Preparation Trans-Ed-Preparation <is associated with> Preparation Purification <is associated with> Developmental-Factors <is a> Effects <Leads to> Faith <Leads to> Receiving <is associated with> Seeking <is associated with> Surrender Calling <Leads to> Purification Contributing Factors <is associated with> Purification Effect-Construct-Change <is associated with> Purification Effect-Purification <is associated with> Purification Effort <is associated with> Purification Grace <is associated with> Purification Impeding-Factors <Changed by> Purification Life Changes-Transformation <is associated with> Purification

427

Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Purification Obstacles <Changed by> Purification Perceptual Shift <is associated with> Purification Personal Constructs <is associated with> Purification Preparation <Leads to> Purification Preparation-Purification <is associated with> Purification Purification-Cont-Factors <is associated with> Purification Purification-Dev-Factors <is associated with> Purification Purification-Effort <is associated with> Purification Purification-Grace <is associated with> Purification Purification-Imped-Factors <is associated with> Purification Purification-Med-Factors <is associated with> Purification Purification-Practices <is associated with> Purification Purification-Source <is associated with> Purification Source <is associated with> Purification Spiritual Growth <is associated with> Purification Surrender-and-Purification <is associated with> Purification Tools-Practices <Leads to> Purification Trans-Ed-Purification <is associated with> Purification Transcendent Education <is associated with> Purification Will <is associated with> Purification Qualities <is associated with> Discernment <is associated with> Effects <is associated with> Source-Constructs Clarity <is a> Qualities Consolation <is a> Qualities Content <is associated with> Qualities Divine Flow <is a> Qualities Effects of Experience <is associated with> Qualities Encouragement <is a> Qualities Form <is associated with> Qualities Heart-Opening <is a> Qualities Interconnectedness <is a> Qualities Peak Experience <is a> Qualities Perceptual Shift <is a> Qualities Presence <is a> Qualities Receiving <is associated with> Qualities Self-Reflection <is a> Qualities Self-Reflection-Experience <is a> Qualities Sense of Awe <is a> Qualities Sense of Being Present <is a> Qualities Sense of Calmness <is a> Qualities Sense of Energy <is a> Qualities Sense of Grace-Blessing <is a> Qualities Sense of Gratitude <is a> Qualities

428

Sense of Harmony-Balance <is a> Qualities Sense of Joy <is a> Qualities Sense of Light <is a> Qualities Sense of Love <is a> Qualities Sense of Openness <is a> Qualities Sense of Peace <is a> Qualities Sense of Sacredness <is a> Qualities Sense of Source <is a> Qualities Sense of Spontaneity <is a> Qualities Sense of Timelessness <is a> Qualities Sense of Union <is a> Qualities Sense of Unselfconsciousness <is a> Qualities Silence/Stillness <is a> Qualities Silence/Stillness-Experience <is a> Qualities Source <is associated with> Qualities Surrender <is a> Qualities Surrender-Experience <is a> Qualities Receiving <is associated with> Activities <Leads to> Discernment <Leads to> Effects <Leads to> Following <is associated with> Form <is associated with> Impeding-Factors <is associated with> Obstacles-to-Receiving <is associated with> Qualities Calling <Leads to> Receiving Content <is associated with> Receiving Developmental-Factors <is associated with> Receiving Effort <is associated with> Receiving Effort-Grace-Receiving <is associated with> Receiving Effort-Receiving <is associated with> Receiving Grace <Leads to> Receiving Grace-Receiving <is associated with> Receiving Life Changes-Transformation <is associated with> Receiving Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Receiving Obstacles <is associated with> Receiving Purification <Leads to> Receiving Seeking <Leads to> Receiving Set and Setting <is associated with> Receiving Source <is cause of> Receiving Source-Per-Constructs <is associated with> Receiving Story-Receiving <is associated with> Receiving Surrender <Leads to> Receiving Transcendent Education <is associated with> Receiving Seeking

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<is associated with> Calling <is associated with> Impeding-Factors <is associated with> Obstacles-to-Seeking <is associated with> Preparation <Leads to> Receiving Contributing Factors <is cause of> Seeking Developmental-Factors <is associated with> Seeking Discernment <is associated with> Seeking Effort <is associated with> Seeking Effort-Grace-Seeking <is associated with> Seeking Effort-Seeking <is associated with> Seeking Following <Leads to> Seeking Grace <is associated with> Seeking Grace-Seeking <is associated with> Seeking Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Seeking Obstacles <is associated with> Seeking Purification <is associated with> Seeking Set and Setting <is associated with> Seeking Source <is associated with> Seeking Spiritual Direction <is associated with> Seeking Story-Seeking <is associated with> Seeking Tools-Practices <is associated with> Seeking Will <is associated with> Seeking Set and Setting <is associated with> Creating the Space <is associated with> Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Obstacles <is associated with> Preparation <is associated with> Receiving <is associated with> Seeking <is associated with> Set-Setting <is associated with> Tools-Practices Nature Time <is part of> Set and Setting Prep-Set-Setting <is associated with> Set and Setting Retreats <is part of> Set and Setting Ritual <is part of> Set and Setting Sacred Context <is part of> Set and Setting Sacred Objects <is part of> Set and Setting Sacred Space <is part of> Set and Setting Set-Constructs <is part of> Set and Setting Time and Space <is part of> Set and Setting Source <is cause of> Calling <is associated with> Contributing Factors <is cause of> Effects <is associated with> Following

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<is associated with> Form <is cause of> Grace <is associated with> Purification <is associated with> Qualities <is cause of> Receiving <is associated with> Seeking Activities <is associated with> Source Alignment <is associated with> Source Angels <is associated with> Source Attributes <is associated with> Source Attunement <is associated with> Source Contributing-Factors-INT <is associated with> Source Developmental-Factors <is associated with> Source Discernment <is associated with> Source Divine Being <is associated with> Source Divine Consciousness <is associated with> Source Divine Father <is associated with> Source Divine Force <is associated with> Source Divine Mother <is associated with> Source Earth Mother <is associated with> Source Effort-and-Grace <is associated with> Source Faith <is associated with> Source God <is associated with> Source Ground of Being <is associated with> Source Higher Self <is associated with> Source Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Source Motives <is associated with> Source Nature Spirits <is associated with> Source Purification-Source <is associated with> Source Saints and Prophets <is associated with> Source Sense of Source <is associated with> Source Source-Constructs <is associated with> Source Source-Identity <is associated with> Source Source-Per-Constructs <is associated with> Source Source-Relationship <is associated with> Source Spirit <is associated with> Source Spirits <is associated with> Source Story-Source <is associated with> Source Surrender <is associated with> Source Transcendent Education <is associated with> Source Will <is associated with> Source Source-Identity <is associated with> Activities <is associated with> Attributes <is associated with> Motives <is associated with> Source

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<is a> Source-Constructs Angels <is a> Source-Identity Divine Being <is a> Source-Identity Divine Consciousness <is a> Source-Identity Divine Father <is a> Source-Identity Divine Force <is a> Source-Identity Divine Mother <is a> Source-Identity Earth Mother <is a> Source-Identity God <is a> Source-Identity Ground of Being <is a> Source-Identity Higher Self <is a> Source-Identity Nature Spirits <is a> Source-Identity Saints and Prophets <is a> Source-Identity Spirit <is a> Source-Identity Spirits <is a> Source-Identity Surrender <is a> Act-of-Faith <is a> Developmental-Factors <Leads to> Divine-Will <is a> Effects <Leads to> Grace <Lack of Leads to> Obstacles <is a> Qualities <Leads to> Receiving <is associated with> Source <is a> Tools-Practices Being with What Is <is associated with> Surrender Detachment to Outcome <is associated with> Surrender Effect-Surrender <is associated with> Surrender Faith <Leads to> Surrender Faith-Strengthened <Leads to> Surrender Lack-of-Surrender <is associated with> Surrender Level of Willingness <is associated with> Surrender Openness to Receive <is associated with> Surrender Personal-Will <Changed by> Surrender Purification <is associated with> Surrender Surrender-and-Faith <is associated with> Surrender Surrender-and-Purification <is associated with> Surrender Surrender-and-Will <is associated with> Surrender Surrender-Constructs <is associated with> Surrender Surrender-Experience <is part of> Surrender Surrender-Outcome <is associated with> Surrender Surrender-Practices <is associated with> Surrender Transcendent Education <is associated with> Surrender Waiting for an Answer <is associated with> Surrender Will <is associated with> Surrender

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Tools-Practices <is associated with> Incorporation <is part of> Preparation <Leads to> Purification <is associated with> Seeking Acceptance <is a> Tools-Practices Acceptance-Practices <is a> Tools-Practices Alignment <is associated with> Tools-Practices Attunement <is a> Tools-Practices Authenticity <is a> Tools-Practices Authenticity-Practices <is a> Tools-Practices Awareness <is a> Tools-Practices Awareness-Practices <is a> Tools-Practices Being Present <is a> Tools-Practices Being with What Is <is a> Tools-Practices Body Practices <is a> Tools-Practices Breathing <is a> Tools-Practices Centering <is a> Tools-Practices Centering-Practices <is a> Tools-Practices Chanting <is a> Tools-Practices Commitment <is a> Tools-Practices Commitment-to-Practice <is part of> Tools-Practices Construct Transcendence <is a> Tools-Practices Contemplation <is a> Tools-Practices Courage <is a> Tools-Practices Creating the Space <is a> Tools-Practices Discernment <is a> Tools-Practices Discernment Practice <is a> Tools-Practices Divination <is a> Tools-Practices Divine Dialoguing <is a> Tools-Practices Dreams <is a> Tools-Practices Effort <is associated with> Tools-Practices Effort-Seeking <is associated with> Tools-Practices Forgiveness <is a> Tools-Practices Forgiveness-Practices <is a> Tools-Practices Gathering Helpers <is a> Tools-Practices Gratefulness <is a> Tools-Practices Guidance Practice <is a> Tools-Practices Healing <is associated with> Tools-Practices Impeding-Factors <Changed by> Tools-Practices Inner Listening <is a> Tools-Practices Inspired Action <is a> Tools-Practices Interview Practice <is associated with> Tools-Practices Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Tools-Practices Meditation <is a> Tools-Practices Mindfulness <is a> Tools-Practices

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Nature Time <is a> Tools-Practices Obstacles <Changed by> Tools-Practices Obstacles-to-Seeking <is associated with> Tools-Practices Openness to Receive <is a> Tools-Practices Perceptual-Shift-Practices <is a> Tools-Practices Practicing-Attributes <is a> Tools-Practices Practicing-Compassion <is a> Tools-Practices Practicing-Courage <is a> Tools-Practices Prayer/Blessing <is a> Tools-Practices Prep-Practice <is associated with> Tools-Practices Purification-Practices <is associated with> Tools-Practices Retreats <is a> Tools-Practices Right Action <is a> Tools-Practices Ritual <is a> Tools-Practices Sacred Context <is a> Tools-Practices Sacred Objects <is a> Tools-Practices Sacred Space <is a> Tools-Practices Sacred Text <is a> Tools-Practices Sanctification <is a> Tools-Practices Self-Reflection <is a> Tools-Practices Self-Reflection-Practices <is a> Tools-Practices Set and Setting <is associated with> Tools-Practices Silence/Stillness <is a> Tools-Practices Silence/Stillness-Practices <is a> Tools-Practices Spiritual Direction <is a> Tools-Practices Spiritual Practice <is a> Tools-Practices Surrender <is a> Tools-Practices Surrender-Practices <is a> Tools-Practices Test and Compare <is associated with> Tools-Practices Time and Space <is a> Tools-Practices Trial and Error <is associated with> Tools-Practices Vision Quest <is a> Tools-Practices Visualization <is a> Tools-Practices Waiting for an Answer <is a> Tools-Practices Watching for Signs <is a> Tools-Practices Will <is associated with> Tools-Practices Transcendent Education <is associated with> Activities <is associated with> Calling <is associated with> Discernment <is associated with> Following <is associated with> Form <is associated with> Grace <is associated with> Grace-Presence <is associated with> Incorporation <is associated with> Life Changes-Transformation

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<is a> Mediating-Factors <is associated with> Motives <is associated with> Purification <is associated with> Receiving <is associated with> Source <is associated with> Spiritual Growth <is associated with> Surrender Construct Transcendence <is associated with> Transcendent Education Contributing-Factors-INT <is associated with> Transcendent Education Discernment-Trans-Education <is associated with> Transcendent Education Effort-and-Grace <is associated with> Transcendent Education Grace-Seeking <is associated with> Transcendent Education Healing <is associated with> Transcendent Education Life-Experience/Events <is associated with> Transcendent Education Perceptual Shift <is associated with> Transcendent Education Personal Constructs <is associated with> Transcendent Education Preparation <Leads to> Transcendent Education Resonant Learning <is associated with> Transcendent Education Source-Constructs <is associated with> Transcendent Education Trans-Ed-Construct-Trans <is part of> Transcendent Education Trans-Ed-Constructs <is associated with> Transcendent Education Trans-Ed-Incorporation <is associated with> Transcendent Education Trans-Ed-Obstacles <is associated with> Transcendent Education Trans-Ed-Perceptual-Shift <is associated with> Transcendent Education Trans-Ed-Preparation <is associated with> Transcendent Education Trans-Ed-Purification <is associated with> Transcendent Education Trans-Ed-Spiritual-Growth <is associated with> Transcendent Education Will <is a> Developmental-Factors <is associated with> Faith <is associated with> Following <is associated with> Grace <is associated with> Level of Willingness <is associated with> Obstacles <is associated with> Purification <is associated with> Seeking <is associated with> Source <is associated with> Surrender <is associated with> Tools-Practices Being with What Is <is associated with> Will Divine-Will <is part of> Will Openness to Receive <is associated with> Will Personal-Will <is part of> Will Sense of Openness <is associated with> Will Surrender-and-Will <is associated with> Will

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Appendix O: Guidance Experience Template (GET)

The Guidance Experience Template depicts the primary universal or common

factors, categories, and patterns of the experience of divine guidance reported in this

inquiry.

See Chapter 5 for more information about this template and the reported universal or

common categories, factors, and patterns it depicts.

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Appendix P: Synthesized Conceptualization Flowchart

The following Synthesized Conceptualization Flowchart is an illustration of the four

commonly-reported categories of the experience of divine guidance and the basic concepts

for each category generated by the researcher during the creative synthesis process.

REMOVING THE OBSTACLES

Seeking

DISCERNINGTHE MESSAGE

Following

Source

CONTINUOUSTRANSMISSION

OPENINGTHE CHANNELS

Receiving

See Chapter 5 for more information about this flowchart and the basic concepts it depicts.

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Appendix Q: Synthesized Guidance Practice (SGP)

The following Synthesized Guidance Practice (SGP) is a daily 16-step 20-minute

purification practice used for the purpose of preparing for the seeking, receiving, and

following of divine guidance. This practice is the result of the researcher’s guidance-based

creative synthesis process, which was an attempt to tacitly understand the different

guidance-related self-experimentation methods explored during this inquiry, along with the

knowledge of the experience acquired through researcher self-inquiry and the interviews

with the coresearchers. Below is an overview of the practice in table form (Table Q1),

followed by a step-by-step description of the practice itself, and notes on each step.

Table Q1 Synthesized Guidance Practice (SGP) Steps and Sources Step Exercise Self-Experimentation Source 1 Induction Self-Hypnosis

2 Six Directions Exercise Shamanic Practice/Shamanism

3 Yoga Exercise Yoga/Hinduism

4 Qi-Gong Exercise Qi-Gong/Taoism

5 Mental Channel Cleanse Mindfulness Meditation/Buddhism

6 Judaic Yoga Exercise Ophanim/Judaism

7 Sign of the Cross Sign of the Cross/Christianity

8 Sufi Salat Sufi Salat/Islam

9 Emotional Channel Cleanse BioSpiritual Focusing

10 Integral Peace Mantra Researcher Creative Synthesis

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Table Q1 (Continued) Step Exercise Self-Experimentation Source 11 Subtle Body Tune-Up Psychic Energy Practice/Metaphysics

12 Ki-Kata Aikido Centering Practice/Aikido

13 Perceptual Channel Cleanse Gurdjieff Morning Exercise/Gurdjieffian

14 Attunement Walking Meditation Aikido/Buddhist/Gurdjieffian Synthesis

15 Synthesized Guidance Meditation Myss and Weimer Guidance Methods

16 Ratification Researcher Creative Synthesis

Note. Step = the step or stage in the Synthesized Guidance Practice sequence of exercises. Exercise = the specific exercise in the sequence of the practice. Self-Experimentation Sources = citations for the guidance-related self-experimentation methods used as a source for the synthesized exercise in the sequence. See Appendix C for an explanation and references for each self-experimentation method used as a source for this Synthesized Guidance Practice. Additional sources of inspiration for this synthesis include the literature reviewed, researcher personal training with individual practices, and the findings from the coresearcher interviews. Notes on each step follow the description of the full practice.

The Practice

Step 1—Induction

Stand facing NORTH (N) with eyes closed:

• Facing NORTH (N) with arms down to sides, take three long and slow deep breaths; on the in-breath imagine the breath filling your entire body, and on the out-breath imagine any tension in your body being released with the breath.

Step 2—Six Directions Exercise

Stand facing NORTH (N) to begin six-direction movement:

• Facing NORTH (N) with arms down to sides, breath in slowly, and chant HEY YAH HEY YAH HEY YAH HEY while breathing out (repeat three times).

• Raise both arms forward (breathe in), and then lower to sides (breathe out).

• Raise both arms behind (breathe in), and then lower to sides (breathe out).

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• Raise right arm up to side (breathe in), and then lower to side (breathe out).

• Raise left arm up to side (breathe in), and then lower to side (breathe out).

• Raise both arms up from sides above head (breathe in).

• Lower both arms down front of body while bending forward (breathe out), hold bend (breathe in and out), then slowly rise (breathe in).

Step 3—Yoga Exercise

Stand facing NORTH (N) to begin various directional movements:

• Facing NORTH (N) with arms to sides, breathe in slowly, and slowly chant OM while breathing out (repeat three times).

• Facing NORTH, stand with feet together and do the following series of warm-ups: Head Rolls (three to right, three to left); Shoulder Rolls (three forward, three back); outstretched Arm Rolls (three forward, three back); and Body Twists from waist (three to six swings in both directions).

• Facing NE, then SW—Triangle Pose: Stand with feet apart (slightly wider than shoulder-width), point your right foot slightly to the right, and raise arms to your sides holding them parallel to the floor. Exhale slowly and bend sideways to the right, raising your left arm straight up while trying to touch your right foot with your right hand. Take three full breaths in this position before coming up. Repeat the pose on the other side.

• Facing NW, then SE—Warrior Pose: Stand with feet wide apart and raise arms to your sides holding them parallel to the floor. Turn your head and point your right foot to the right, then bend your right leg so that the thigh is parallel to the floor. Stretch your right arm forward and your left arm back behind you, while looking over your right arm. Take three full breaths in this position. Lower your right arm and rest the forearm on the right thigh, then stretch your left arm over your head and hold it out parallel to the floor. Take three breaths in this position before coming back up. Repeat the pose on the other side.

• Facing WEST—The Fountain: Stand with feet apart (slightly wider than shoulder-width). Inhale slowly while raising your arms over your head and holding your hands together, side-by-side. Exhale while bending to the left and gently stretching your joined arms down to the left side of your body. Inhale while swinging your arms and body back up, and then exhale while gently bending your upper torso and arms to the other side of your body. Inhale while swinging back up. Exhale and slowly bend forward, gently stretching your joined arms down toward the floor between your legs. Gently stretch your arms and twist to the left trying to touch your left foot with your hands, then stretch and twist to the right and try to touch

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your right foot. Swing back to center and gently stretch your arms behind you, between your legs. Return to center, then slowly come up.

Step 4—Qi-Gong Exercise

Stand facing WEST (W) to begin various directional movements:

• Facing WEST (W) with arms to sides, breathe in slowly, and slowly chant WEI WU WEI while breathing out (repeat three times).

• Facing WEST—Restoring Spring: Stand with slightly bent knees, shake body up and down.

• Facing W/N/E/S—Rock Flying: Stand with feet spread shoulder length apart, hold invisible ball in front of waist with both hands, gently wave ball from side to side (three times) then gently shift to face next direction and repeat till you stand facing SOUTH.

• Facing SOUTH—Heaven Circles: Stand facing SOUTH with feet together, raise both arms up front of body then over head, circle hands three times to the right, then three times to the left, then lower both arms.

• Facing S/W/N/E—Earth Circles: Stand facing SOUTH, step to forward-left with left foot while extending both hands out from the waist in a right to left circle-sweep (three times), step back with left foot, step to forward-right with right foot while extending both hands out from waist in a left to right circle-sweep (three times), step back with right foot and shift to face next direction and repeat till you stand facing EAST.

Step 5—Mental Channel Cleanse

Stand facing EAST (E) with eyes closed:

• Facing EAST (E) with arms down to sides, breathe in slowly, and slowly chant OM MA NI PAD ME HUM while breathing out (repeat three times).

• Gently breathe in and out while observing your thoughts as though they were clouds floating across the blue sky of your mind; trying to witness the thoughts without getting caught up in their content.

Step 6—Judaic Yoga Exercise


• Facing EAST (E) raise arms straight in front of body and lower them back down to sides, while silently repeating to yourself: I am grounded in Divine Presence . . .

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• Sweep arms from back to front at heart level, one at a time, while silently repeating to yourself: I am surrounded by Divine Love . . .

• Raise both arms up from front of body and simultaneously lower each arm down its side of body, while silently repeating: I am covered by Divine Wisdom . . .

• Sweep arms back to front at waist level, one at a time, while silently repeating: I am supported by Divine Strength . . .

• Sweep arms out to sides and circle upward to meet over head, then lower both hands down to your heart while bending forward from the waist, silently repeating: I am enveloped and penetrated by the Divine Light that radiates throughout all of creation . . .

• Bend back up while opening hands and arms out to sides.

• With arms still at sides, breathe in slowly, and slowly chant YUD-HEY-VAV-HEY while breathing out (repeat three times).

Step 7—Sign of the Cross

Stand facing EAST with eyes closed:

• Facing EAST (E) raise hands up from your sides and touch hands over your head, while silently repeating: In the Name of the Holy Source . . .

• Lower hands down the front of your body, while silently repeating: In the Name of the Holy Creation . . .

• Bring hands up to heart, then open hands and arms out to your sides, while silently repeating: In the Name of the Holy Spirit . . .

• With arms still at sides, breathe in slowly, and slowly chant MA-RA-NA-THA while breathing-out (repeat three times).

Step 8—Sufi Salat


• Facing EAST (E) hold both palms up at waist while silently repeating: I surrender . . .

• Circle both hands out and up to sides of your shoulders, holding palms out while silently repeating: All my burdens . . .

• Circle both hands down and in bringing palms to belly while silently repeating: All my needs and desires . . .

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• Sweep palms up to chest while silently repeating: All my hopes and fears . . .

• Lower arms and bend forward, resting palms on the knees while silently repeating: To the One and Only . . .

• Bend back up and raise arms up and hold palms out by sides of face, silently repeating: Source of Wisdom . . .

• Bring palms together in front of face while silently repeating: Source of Truth . . .

• Move joined palms down to heart area while silently repeating: Source of Mercy . . .

• Sweep palms down front of body and bring arms to sides while silently repeating: Source of Justice . . .

• With arms still at sides, breathe in slowly, and slowly chant AH-LAH-HOO while breathing out (repeat three times).

Step 9—Emotional Channel Cleanse

Stand facing EAST (E) to begin various directional movements: • Stand facing EAST (E) with arms down at sides.

• Gently breathe in and out several times while taking a feeling inventory of your body as though your physical body was a spacesuit housing your awareness; trying to witness your feelings without loosing yourself in them.

• Bring your awareness to the feelings in your head and neck, sensing any physical and/or emotional tension. Breathe in while closing your eyes, tightening your facial muscles and imagining that all the tension in your head and neck is being drawn into your face, then breathe out while opening your eyes and mouth widely and sticking out your tongue, imagining that all the tension in your head and neck is being released (repeat three times).

• Turn your body to the right to face SOUTH (S) and bring your awareness to the feelings in your shoulders, arms, chest, and upper back, sensing any physical and/or emotional tension. Breathe in while raising your shoulders toward your ears, tightening your shoulder, chest, and arm muscles and imagining that all the tension in your upper torso area is being drawn into your shoulders, then breathe out while rolling back your shoulders and dropping them down, imagining that all the tension in your upper torso area is being released (repeat three times).

• Turn your body to the right to face WEST (W) and bring your awareness to the feelings in your stomach, lower back, buttocks, hips, and crotch, sensing any physical and/or emotional tension. Bring your hands to your hips, breathe in, while tightening and extending your hips and lower torso forward, imagining that all the

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tension in your lower torso being drawn into your extended hips. Breathe out while rotating your hips to the right and back, imagining that all the tension in your lower torso is being released. Breathe in as you continue to rotate your hips to the left and forward, tightening once again (repeat hip rotation three times to the right, and three times to the left, breathing in and tightening on forward movements, and breathing out and releasing on backward movements).

• Turn your body to the right to face NORTH (N) and bring your awareness to the feelings in your legs and feet, sensing any physical and/or emotional tension. Breathe in while tightening your leg, foot, and toe muscles and imagining that all the tension in your legs and feet is being drawn together, then breathe out while releasing the leg, foot, and toe muscles, imagining that all the tension in your legs and feet is being released (repeat three times).

Step 10—Integral Peace Mantra


• Facing NORTH (N) with arms still at sides, breathe in slowly, imagining the breath filling your body and melting away any tensions.

• Then slowly chant the integral peace mantra SIPALA SITH SHANTI SHALOM T’AI SIDI PAX SALAAM while breathing out (repeat three times).

Step 11—Subtle Body Tune-Up


• Facing NORTH (N) with feet slightly spread apart and slightly bent knees.

• Energy Grounding: Breathe in slowly and visualize a cord descending out of the base of your spine and heading down to the center of the earth.

• Energy Clearing: Breathe out slowly and imagine flushing negative energy from your first three energy centers (base of spine, genitals, and belly) down the cord; then imagine flushing the negative energy of the upper four energy centers (heart, throat, forehead just above and between the eyes, and top of head) out the top of your head.

• Running Earth and Cosmic Energy: Breathe in slowly and visualize drawing in earth energy from your feet up your entire body; breathe out slowly and imagine drawing in cosmic energy from above through the top of your head; breathe in slowly and imagine the two energy streams meeting at the third energy center (belly) and blending together and running the combined energy streams up and down and all round your body.

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• Releasing Energy Cords: Breathe out slowly while visualizing energy cords from outside sources (other people, past experiences, etc.) attached to each energy center and progressively release all these cords, starting from first energy center up through the seventh.

• Retracting Energy Cords: Breathe in slowly and imagine pulling back all the cords you have attached to others for each energy center progressively, starting from the first energy center up through the seventh, while visualizing closing each energy center after the cords are released for that energy center.

• Opening the Energy Centers: Starting from the seventh energy center (top of head), breathe out slowly and imagine each energy center opening up again like a flower opening to the sun.

• Aligning the Energy Centers: Starting from the first energy center and working your way up, breathe in slowly and imagine bringing each energy center into vertical alignment with the spine.

• Balancing the Energy Centers: Starting from the seventh energy center (top of head) and working your way down, breathe out and visualize balancing each energy center horizontally in its place.

• Charging the Energy Centers: Starting from the first energy center and working your way up again, breathe in and imagine each energy center emitting vibrating energy; as you move upward through the energy centers the energy merges and expands.

• Charging the Energy Field: Breathe out and then in and out three times while visualizing the energy from all seven energy centers expanding to fill your entire body and then radiating beyond its boundaries, creating a field of vibrating energy around you.

Step 12—Ki-Kata


• Facing NORTH (N) stand still and continue to sense the boundaries of your physical and energy body.

• Gently begin to twist your body from the waist side-to-side.

• Gradually let your arms swing with your body from side-to-side.

• Begin to accentuate the swinging of the body and sweep hands around your body from side-to-side, imagining your energy body expanding around you.

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• Sweep your arms in circles to your sides and stand still for a moment sensing your expanded body.

• Raise your hands above your head, then sweep them down your sides as you bend at the knees and imagine sweeping the sides of your energy field from top to bottom, then sweep (and stand) back up (repeat three times).

• Sweep arms in circles around the body, up the front and then down the back (three times), bending as you sweep down; then reverse directions and sweep arms in circles around the body, up the back and then down the front (three times), bending as you sweep down.

• Stand straight up and swing arms up and down your sides from your waist to above your head (three times).

• Stand with legs wide apart while sweeping hands up and out, then hold in position with hands and legs spread out wide.

• Take three deep breaths and bring arms back to sides while bringing legs back together.

Step 13—Perceptual Channel Cleanse


• Stand straight and bring your awareness to your pulse.

• While holding awareness of your pulse add awareness of your breath.

• Try to sense the rhythm of your pulse and breath moving through your body.

• Extend your awareness to your muscles and skin and then to your entire body.

• Hold body awareness and add awareness of sounds around you.

• Hold body and sound awareness and then open your eyes and look at the space around you, holding awareness of all three levels (body, sound, and sight).

Step 14—Attunement Walking Meditation

Stand facing NORTH (N) with eyes still open:

• Holding awareness of your body, and the sounds and sights around you, begin to walk around the space you’re in (imagining that your physical body is like a spacesuit housing your consciousness).

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• Attempt to let go of thinking about where or how to move and allow inner guidance to guide your movements.

• Return to your original position and face WEST (W).

Step 15—Synthesized Guidance Meditation (Short Form)

Stand facing WEST (W):

• Close your eyes and breathe deeply into your abdomen, allowing your stomach to expand as you breathe in and contract as you exhale.

• See yourself as a hollow reed or membrane, expanding and contracting.

• Continue in slow, deep breaths, while silently repeating: I am not my thoughts. I am not my feelings. I am not my perceptions. I am empty of all disturbances. I am empty of all desire and need. I am empty of all fear, expectation and attachment to outcome. I am open, ready, and willing to receive guidance from my Highest Spiritual Source, which comes to me out of Love and Light. I am filled, permeated, and surrounded by Love and Light.

• Then be still for a few minutes, breathing gently, and just allowing yourself to be with the experience. Be present to any thoughts, feelings, or sensations that occur within you, and if you receive guidance in any form use the discernment practices from the complete Synthesized Guidance Meditation in Appendix R to discern the message(s).

Step 16—Ratification

Stand facing WEST (W):

• After feeling complete with the preceding exercise, silently repeat: I am grateful for the gift of love and light, and for the gift of guidance. In gratitude and humility I surrender this moment and this day to that which is higher and deeper within and around me. I give every plan I have made, every thought of what I think I must do, where I must go, and when I must do it to the Divine Presence within and around me. May I be fully present to each and every moment . . . empty, clean, receptive, and open to divine guidance. May I be a light unto others and may I bring joy and blessings wherever I go.

Notes on the Practice

The following are notes on each individual step of the above practice with brief

descriptions of each step. References to the self-experimentation method(s) that influenced

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each step (see Appendix C) are included as well, along with tradition(s) of influence and

reference citations.

Step 1—Induction. A short breathing self-hypnosis induction procedure. Self-

Experimentation Source: Self-hypnosis. Tradition: Hypnosis, hypnotherapy. References:

Alman & Lambrou, 1992; Arthur Hastings, Personal Training, 1994.

Step 2—Six Directions Exercise. A synthesis of a traditional Native American

centering practice that includes recognizing and harmonizing with the six directions of

north, east, south, west, sky, and earth. Self-Experimentation Source: Shamanic Practice.

Tradition: Shamanism. References: Bear, Wind, & Mulligan, 1991; Harner, 1980.

Discernable Coresearcher Influences: CR:003:687-695. Chant/Mantra: The HEY YAH

HEY chant comes from a traditional Native American welcoming and centering practice

(Bear, Wind, & Mulligan, 1991).

Step 3—Yoga Exercise. A synthesis of some yogic warm-up exercises along with

several standing poses or asanas. Self-Experimentation Source: Yoga. Traditions: Yoga,

Hinduism. References: Borysenko, 1987; Hari Dass, 1981. Chant/Mantra: The OM or

AUM mantra chant is considered the primordial sound of all sounds in the Hindu tradition

(Hari Dass, 1981).

Step 4—Qi-Gong Exercise. A synthesis of several Taoist Qi-Gong energy practices.

Self-Experimentation Source: Qi-Gong. Tradition: Taoism. References: Cohen, 1999; Ta

Viet Hong, Personal Training, 1993. Chant/Mantra: The WEI WU WEI (action without

action) chant is the Chinese phrase for the basic Taoist concept of nondoing, not-forcing, or

going with the flow (Watts, 1975).

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Step 5—Mental Channel Cleanse. An adaptation of a traditional Buddhist

mindfulness practice. Self-Experimentation Source: Mindfulness Meditation. Tradition:

Buddhism. References: Levine, 1989; Nhat Hanh, 1975. Discernable Coresearcher

Influences: CR:004:273-400. Chant/Mantra: The OM MA NI PAD ME HUM mantra chant

is the one of the most basic chants in Tibetan Buddhism and is believed to represent all of

the Buddha’s teachings and to open the heart and mind to compassion (Thurman, 1997).

Step 6—Judaic Yoga Exercise. An adaptation of a Judaic yoga or ophanim practice

for creating sacred space within and around the individual. Self-Experimentation Source:

Ophanim. Traditions: Judaism, Kabbalah. Reference: Frankiel & Greenfield, 1997.

Chant/Mantra: The YUD-HEY-VAV-HEY chant is the sounding out of the tetragrammaton

or the four Hebrew letters said to represent the primordial Divine Name (Green, 1992).

Step 7—Sign of the Cross. An adaptation of the traditional sacramental practice of

making the sign of the cross. Self-Experimentation Source: Sign of the Cross. Tradition:

Christianity. Reference: Ball, 1991. Chant/Mantra: The MA-RA-NA-THA chant is an

ancient Christian mantra based on the Aramaic word for “the Lord comes” used in the New

Testament (Harris, 1998).

Step 8—Sufi Salat. An adaptation and synthesis of the daily Salat or prayer practice

from Islam and Sufism. Self-Experimentation Source: Sufi Salat. Traditions: Islam, Sufism.

Reference: Barks & Green, 2000. Chant/Mantra: The AH-LAH-HOO chant is a Sufi wazafi

or mantra chant for calling on the living presence of the Divine (Khan, 1991).

Step 9—Emotional Channel Cleanse. An adaptation of the psycho-spiritual-somatic

practice of biospiritual focusing. Self-Experimentation Source: BioSpiritual Focusing.

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Traditions: Biospiritual focusing, spiritual and somatic psychology. Reference: McMahon,

1993. Discernable Coresearcher Influences: CR:004:273-400; CR:006:124-133.

Step 10—The Integral Peace Mantra. A researcher created mantra meditation

exercise utilizing a mantra that emerged through guidance received during the creative

synthesis process. The mantra is a compilation of eight words for PEACE (SIPALA SITH

SHANTI SHALOM T’AI SIDI PAX SALAAM) from eight different languages (Hopi,

Gaelic, Hindi, Hebrew, Chinese, Tibetan, Latin, and Aramaic) used to represent eight major

streams of world religions: Primal Traditions, Paganism, Hinduism, Judaism, Taoism,

Buddhism, Christianity, and Islam. The words are arranged in the chronological/historical

order of the emergence of each of these traditions.

Step 11—Subtle Body Tune-Up. An adaptation and synthesis of an esoteric psychic

energy practice. Self-Experimentation Source: Psychic Energy Practice. Traditions:

Metaphysics, esoteric. Reference: Wallace & Henkin, 1978. The seven energy centers

represent the areas of the body referred to in Hindu and esoteric traditions as the seven

major chakras, which are believed to be located along the spinal pathway and act as energy

hubs for the flow of vital energy (prana) throughout the entire body (Hari Dass, 1981).

Step 12—Ki-Kata. An adaptation and synthesis of several Aikido centering

practices. Self-Experimentation Source: Aikido Centering Practice. Tradition: Aikido.

References: Robert Frager, Personal Training, 1993; Gleason, 1995; Robert Nadeau,

Personal Training, 1992.

Step 13—Perceptual Channel Cleanse. An adaptation of a Gurdjieffian perceptual

awareness practice. Self-Experimentation Source: Gurdjieff Morning Exercise. Tradition:

Gurdjieffian. Reference: Tart, 1994. Discernable Coresearcher Influences: CR:004:273-

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400. Advanced perceptual cleanse practice includes: Subtle/cosmic energy listening and

awareness of subtle inner body, physical body, subtle outer body, subtle spatial body, subtle

cosmic body, and ultimately to awareness of all bodies as a sea of vibrating quantum

particles and waves (integral awareness).

Step 14—Attunement Walking Meditation. A synthesis of Aikido centering

practices, Buddhist walking meditation, and Gurdjieffian awareness practices. Self-

Experimentation Sources: Aikido Centering Practice, Gurdjieff Morning Practice, and

Mindfulness Meditation. Traditions: Aikido, Buddhism, Gurdjieffian. References: Robert

Frager, Personal Training, 1993; Gleason, 1995; Robert Nadeau, Personal Training, 1992;

Nhat Hanh, 1975; Tart, 1994. Discernable Coresearcher Influences: CR:006:124-133.

Step 15—Synthesized Guidance Meditation (short form). A synthesis of several

guidance methods and practices. Self-Experimentation Sources: Myss Guidance Practices,

Weimer Guidance Practice. References: Myss, 1996, 2001; Weimer, 1997. The longer form

of this practice (see Appendix R) is practiced throughout the day for the purposes of

seeking, receiving, and following guidance as the need arises.

Step 16—Ratification. A closing prayer/meditation exercise that developed out of

the researcher’s creative synthesis.

General Note. The above practices organically evolved into a series of entirely standing exercises, which appeared to naturally offset the long hours of the sedentary activity involved in the final phases of this research. Additionally, the directional aspects of the practice appeared to add a sense of groundedness and sanctification of space to the experience.

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Appendix R: Synthesized Guidance Meditation (SGM)

The following Synthesized Guidance Meditation is the result of the researcher’s

creative synthesis process used to translate the findings of this inquiry into a more tacit and

practical form. It evolved from the researcher’s self-experimentation with various guidance-

related methods (see Appendix C), and was used by the researcher in combination with the

daily morning Synthesized Guidance Practice (see above) and as a stand-alone tool and

practice for the seeking, receiving, and following of guidance from a perceived divine

Source. Although this meditation emerged organically from an intuitive and guidance-based

process, it appears to correlate with the basic concepts also discerned by the researcher

during the creative synthesis process (see Chapter 5 and Appendix P).

The Meditation

Seeking—Removing the Obstacles:

• Close your eyes and breathe deeply into your abdomen, allowing your stomach to expand as you breathe in and contract as you exhale.

• See yourself as a hollow reed or membrane, expanding and contracting.

• Continue in slow, deep breaths, while silently repeating: I am not my thoughts. I am not my feelings. I am not my perceptions. I am empty of all disturbances. I am empty of all desire and need. I am empty of all fear, expectation, and attachment to outcome.

Receiving—Opening the Channels:

• Continue the slow, deep breaths and silently repeat the following words while trying to visualize and feel the process they describe: I am open, ready, and willing to receive guidance from my Highest Spiritual Source, which comes to me out of Love and Light. I am filled, permeated, and surrounded by Love and Light.

• Then be still for a few moments and be present to any thoughts, feelings, or sensations that occur within you.

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Following—Discerning the Message:

• Silently ask: Am I open to divine guidance from my Highest Spiritual Source?

• Try to discern a “yes” or “no” answer within you by performing this simple muscle testing procedure to seek the answer through subtle body channels: Make a circle with the thumb and middle finger of one of your hands, and hold them firmly together. Press the thumb and index finger of your other hand together to form a “beak,” which you then insert into the finger circle of the first hand, and then try to press open the circle. If the circle opens, it likely indicates a “no” answer, and if the circle holds, it likely indicates a “yes” answer.

• If the answer is “no,” take a few breaths, and repeat the exercise, trying to more fully “feel” the words and remember the receptive state you experienced during the morning practice.

• If the answer is “yes,” proceed to inwardly ask your questions. Use the above muscle testing technique for yes or no questions, and/or seek your answers by merely being in the receptive state and inwardly listening for the answer, which could come in the form of an inner voice or vision, a thought-sense, and/or a felt-sense.

• When you receive an answer test it in various ways by asking, Is the answer I am receiving the correct answer? Am I interpreting this information correctly? Am I asking the right question? Do I need to ask a different question? Is there an action I need to take, and if so what is it? Is there more I need to know?

• After feeling complete with the preceding process, silently repeat: I am grateful for the gift of love and light, and for the gift of guidance.

Notes. Major adaptation sources for this practice include the Myss (2001) and Wiemer (1997) Guidance Methods (see Appendix C).

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Appendix S: Guidance Experience Evaluation Checklist

The following is a Guidance Experience Evaluation Checklist developed from the

findings of this inquiry to assist spiritual guidance counselors and practitioners in

evaluating their own or their clients’ spiritual guidance patterns and areas of need. This

checklist can be used in association with the Guidance Experience Template (GET) by

offering a quick visual reference to areas of need that can be marked on the template in the

corresponding fields (see Chapter 5).

EVALUATE CONSTRUCTS OF SOURCE

Words and phrases used to identify Source

Attributes ascribed to Source

Motives ascribed to Source

Actions are ascribed to Source

EVALUATE CONTRIBUTING FACTORS

Past experiences of insight

Past experiences that affected relationship to perceived Source

Past experiences of calling or a sense of being called

Influential life experiences

Influential religious experiences

History of spiritual practice

Influential nonreligious exceptional human experiences (EHEs)

Cultural influences

Educational influences

Personal predisposition factors

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EVALUATE PATTERNS OF SEEKING

Current preparation needs and practices

Sense of preparation through grace

Current purification needs and practices

Sense of purification through grace

EVALUATE IMPEDING FACTORS

Limiting constructs of Source, self, and others

Limiting ego structures

Limitations of awareness of self and other

Impeding fears and attachments

Areas of mental turmoil

Areas of emotional turmoil

Resistance to change

Impeding doubts

Impeding judgments

Lack of time and space

Impeding patterns of logic and reason

Lack of acceptance

Impeding expectations

Impeding areas of unforgiveness

Lack of commitment

Lack of courage

Tendency to not follow guidance received

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Resistance to gathering helpers

EVALUATE PATTERNS OF RECEIVING

Forms of communication experienced/anticipated

Content of communication received/anticipated

Qualities of the experience received/anticipated

EVALUATE DEVELOPMENTAL FACTORS

Development of the relationship with Source

Level of ability to surrender

Degree of locus of control between personal will and Higher Will

Degree of faith

EVALUATE PATTERNS OF FOLLOWING

Effects experienced/expected

Tendency to practice discernment

Methods of discernment employed

Tendency to incorporate guidance

Processes of incorporation employed

EVALUATE MEDIATING FACTORS

Synergy of effort and grace

Mediating elements and processes of set and setting

Mediating life experiences and events

Transcendent education process indicators and patterns

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Appendix T: Definitions and Terms

The following is a list of definitions for some of the topic-specific and uncommon

words and terms referred to in the presentation of this study. While some of these words

and terms have several meanings, the definitions given here are the ones specifically used

in this study.

Calling: A sense of being called by a Higher Source; sense of being called to a higher

purpose; and/or a sense of finding one’s life calling or vocation.

Channeling: Accessing guidance through intermediaries; guidance experiences whose “message is directed toward an audience” (Hastings, 1991, p. 4). These experiences include automatic writing, inner dictation, inner voice, trance speaking, sleep channeling, dream channeling, conscious channeling, psychic channeling (clairaudient and clairvoyant), physical channeling (materializations, levitation, poltergeist activity), and divination (Hastings, 1991; Klimo, 1998).

Commissioning Narrative: The prophetic call narrative observed in the Old and New Testaments, in which there is a command or task perceived to be given to a person by the Divine.

A Course in Miracles: A channeled guidance-oriented psycho-spiritual thought system.

Discernment: The process of accessing the source and authenticity of guidance.

Divine: Of or pertaining to a source or realm that is perceived to be higher and/or greater than that of human existence; of or from a deity (Oxford Dictionary and Thesaurus, 1996).

Divine Guidance: The experience of seeking, receiving, and following guidance from a perceived divine source.

Divination: Guidance through the interpretation of signs; it is “the attempt to elicit from some higher power or supernatural being the answers to questions beyond the range of ordinary human understanding” (Loewe & Blacker, 1981, p. 1).

I Ching: The Chinese Book of Changes, The I Ching (Wilhelm, 1950), is an ancient divination tool created to assist in reading and discerning the guidance offered by the continual and eternal flow of existence.

Inner Voice: Receiving guidance through the perception of an internal voice.

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Personal Constructs: The conceptualization or construction of one’s experience of reality; the mental, emotional, and perceptual interpretations through which an individual views and anticipates an event. These constructs are mostly based on past experience and learning, and place a construed meaning on all aspects of perceived reality (Kelly, 1955).

Psychosynthesis: A psycho-spiritual therapeutic approach for personal and transpersonal development, developed by Italian psychology pioneer Roberto Assagioli; a psycho-spiritual school of thought which includes the experience of calling and the reception of guidance from “the inflowing superconscious energies” (Assagioli, 1976, p. 53) of the spiritual or transpersonal dimensions of human experience.

Spiritual Direction: A spiritual counseling relationship that directly addresses the individual’s struggle to seek, receive, and follow divine guidance (May, 1982; Thal, 2003).

Spiritual Guidance: The general practice of seeking guidance from another person or persons for the purposes of “help, assistance, attention, or facilitation in . . . deepening one’s personal realization of relationship to [the Divine, and] also to the dynamic living-out of that realization in the actions of daily life” (May, 1982, p. 8).

Synchronicity: Meaningful coincidence; a meaningful parallel occurrence between “a certain psychic state with one or more external events” (Jung, 1969, p. 441).

Transcendent Education: A perceived transcendent educational process guided by an inner teacher that is apparently designed to assist an individual to “break the stubborn habits of a lifetime” and “to perform at levels seemingly beyond” themselves (Alschuler, 1993, p. 187).

Transpersonal: “The word transpersonal has its etymological roots in two Latin words: trans, meaning beyond or through, and personal, meaning mask or façade—in other words, beyond or through the personally identified aspects of self” (Braud & Anderson, 1998, p. xxi) or our limited ego self, and toward a more expansive, higher, deeper, and/or greater transpersonal Self.

Transpersonal Psychology: The school of psychology that explores human experiences which transcend the traditional boundaries of ego, including mystical, spiritual, and parapsychological experiences.

Typology of Exaltation: A narrative pattern found in biblical and ancient Near Eastern materials from Mesopotamia and Egypt that includes “the political ascendancy of a human leader [who] is correlated with the theological supremacy of a particular deity” (Mann, 1975, p. i).

Vanguard Motif: The biblical and Near Eastern narrative pattern of being led by a divine source.

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The Experience of Divine Guidance: A Qualitative Study of the Human Endeavor to Seek, Receive, and Follow Guidance from a Perceived Divine Source

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