The Educated Parent - Ramp Interactivefscs.rampinteractive.com/langleyunitedyouthsoccer... · The Educated Parent document has been designed to assist parents support their children’s

CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 1

TheEducatedParent

CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 2

FORWARD

TABLEOFCONTENTS

THEEDUCATEDPARENT

INTRODUCTION

WHATPARENTSNEEDTOKNOW

BASICSOCCEREQUIPMENTFORTHEPARENT

BEASUPPORTIVESOCCERPARENT

SENDING­OFFOFFENSIVESFORPARENTS

HOWTOBECOMEANEDUCATEDPARENT

YOURCHILD’SNEEDS

WHATTOEXPECT

PRACTICESESSIONS

THESMALLSIDEDGAME

TEACHINGSPORTSMANSHIP

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Page9

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Page7

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Page6

Page5

Page3

Page4

Page4

Page3

GAMEDAY

Page11

HOWTODEALWITHTHECOACH

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CONFLICTINGAGENDAS

THEOFFICAL

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Page13

RESOURCESANDCREDITS

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CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 3

BCSoccerstrivestoprovideahealthyandactivelifestylethroughitsGrassrootsprogramming.TheGrassrootsprogrammingfocusesonfunandavoidsemphasizinganyformofwinning.Everychildisguaranteedplayingtimeandthegameistaughtwhileplayersdevelopinafunandenjoyableatmosphere.BCSoccerisrankedthirdinparticipationnumbersinCanada.ItisourgoaltoincreaseparticipationlevelsbyretainingplayersanddrivingadditionalplayersintosoccerviatheGrassrootsProgramming.TheBCSoccermissionandvisionare;Mission:"DevelopingthegamebyinspiringBritishColumbianstolifelongactive,inclusiveandteamplay."Vision:"Canada'sforemostintegratedsoccerdevelopmentsystembuiltuponclub,school,varsityandprofessionalteamexcellence."Ouroutcomes:ActivePlay:(promotinglifelongphysicalactivityandhealthylivingbyBritishColumbians)InclusivePlay:(promotingrespectandharmonythroughaccesstosoccerbyboysandgirls,menandwomen,andallpeopleregardlessororigin,age,andwalkoflike)TeamPlay:(promotingcollaboration,cooperation,andcoordinationinpursuitofexcellenceinsoccerandallaspectsoflife)

FORWARD

CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 4

TheEducatedParentdocumenthasbeendesignedtoassistparentssupporttheirchildren’sneedsinthedevelopmentinthegame.ASmallSidedGameisanygameplayedwithlessthanelevenplayersperside.Eleven‐a‐sidesoccerisanadultgamedevisedbyandforadultstoenjoy. SmallSidedGamesaredesignedanddevelopedtocreateandprovideguidancetoparentswhohavechildrenplayingthegameofsoccer.Itistosupplyparentstheknowledgethatwillallowtheplayerstogrowwithoutplacingunnecessarylimitationsonthechildren.InBritishColumbia,Under5toandincludingUnder12,playSmallSidedGames.Ok,youhavesignedyourchildupforsoccer!Nowwhatdoyoudo?

1. Youknowlittletonothingaboutthegame.

2. Youknowit’sthemostpopularsportbyparticipationnumbersandyouknowkidsloveplaying.

3. Youknowthatthekidsareaskedtokickaroundball.

Themostimportantthingparentsneedtoknowisthatsoccerisaboutchildrenhavingfun!

It’sSimple–YourChildrenLOVESoccerbecauseitisFUN!One–fromaveryearlyagebabiesplaywithsoftroundballs.Whetheritlookslikeasoccerball,avolleyballorabasketball,itisroundanditrolls.ThisisFUN.Two‐Soccerisjustthat,playingwithaballthatrolls.Theexceptioniswehaveteammatesandwehaveafewsimplerules.ThisisFUN.Three‐Rulesareverybasic:Theballmustbesharedwithyourteammates

WHATPARENTSNEEDTOKNOW

INTRODUCTION

THEEDUCATEDPARENT

CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 5

TheballmustbekeptawayfromyouropponentsAllplayersmustrespecteachotherAllplayershavetheopportunitytoplaywiththeballEveryonehasFUNAcomfortablelawnchairismandatory–itisimportantthatyouhaveacomfortablelawnchairbecauseyouaregoingtobespendingthewholegamesittinginthatchairwatchingyourchildhaveFUN!Appropriateclothing–inVancouver,theLowerMainlandandontheIslandyouneedaraincoat!IntheNorthandtheInterioryouneedsunblockandloadsofdrinkingwater!InBritishColumbiayouwillbewatchingthebeautifulgameinthesun,therain,theheatandthecold,butyouwillhaveFUN!Fromthesocialside,youneedtomixwellwithothersandbewillingtosupportthecoach.Thenfinally,relaxandgetreadyforFUN!OK,soyourchildisa“player”howcanyoubeasupportivesoccerparent?Childrenliketobeencouraged.Encourageandsupportyourchild.Whethertheyhavehadsuccessduringtheirgameorwhethertheydidnot,regardlessofthelevelofskillortimeonthefield,supportyourchild.Adviseyourchildoftheimportanceofrespectforcoachesthroughinteractivediscussionswiththem.Advisethemofthecriticalnatureofcontributingtotheteamanditsoverallsuccess.Workinarolemodelformat;letthemseethewholepictureandsupportallprogramsandallplayers.Leavethecoachingtothecoachesanddonotcriticizethecoach.Avoidaddingpressureonchildrenregardingplayingtimeandperformance.Whydochildrenchoosesoccer?

BEASUPPORTIVESOCCERPARENT

BASICSOCCEREQUIPMENTFORTHEPARENT

CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 6

• Tohavelotsoffun

• Tomakenewfriends

• Toretaincurrentfriendships

• Tolearnasport

• Togetbetter

• Toincreaseselfesteem

• Towearthekit

• TobepartofateamSomeGuidelinesforMomsandDads

CheerandencourageRelaxandletthekidsplayIfyouyelldirectionsyouwillcreateuncomfortabledistractionsRemember,yousignedthemuptohaveFUNLivewithinyourchild’sexpectationsHaveopendiscussionswiththeCoaches Whatwouldmakemychildquit?Parents’criticismandyellingNotgettingsufficientplayingtimeEmphasisonwinningPoorcommunication FearofmakingmistakesBoringtrainingsessionsPoorcoaching

CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 7

Livingapastdream­parentswhocontinuallylivepersonalachievementsthroughtheirchildrenhavenotreleasedtheirchildtothegame.Overconcerned­Ifaparenttendstosharethecreditwhenthechildhasdonewell,thenpotentially,thisparentwouldbeaconcernastheywouldseethemselvesasdoingpoorlywhenthechilddoesnotdowell.Offeringtoomuchadvice–whenaparentiscontinuallycoachingtheirchildwhenthechildprobablyknowsmoreaboutthegamethantheparentdoes,theyhavenotreleasedtheinneryouthathlete.Itsjustagame­Aparentshouldtakenote,thatiftheyfindthemselvesnervousbeforeachild’sgame,iftheyhavedifficultyacceptingaloss,consistentlyseekingpointsofcorrectionorverballyabusingtheofficials,youaretakingthegametooseriously–Itsjustagame,thekidsarehavingFUN!RELAX

Ok,sohowdoyoubecomeanEducatedParent?Askyourchildwhytheywanttoplaysoccer!WhydoYOUwanttoplaysoccer?WhatisfunaboutsoccerforYOU?WhatdoYOUliketohearfromMEbefore,duringandafterYOURGAMES?HowcanIhelpYOUtoprepareforYOURgame?HowcanIassistYOUtobecomethebestplayerYOUcanbe?TellTHEMthatYOUareproudofTHEM

SENDING­OFFOFFENSIVESFORPARENTS

HOWTOBECOMEANEDUCATEDPARENT

CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 8

Ok,soyouhaveaskedthequestions,nowlistentotheanswerstheyhavegivenyou.Understandtheiranswersandrespectthemregardlesswhethertheyaretheanswersyouwantedtohear.Nowyouareinapositiontomouldyoursupporttomeettheirexpresseddesiresandneeds.Assistthemtomaketheirdreamscometrue.Thendoaselftest,andposethequestiontoyourself–“WhatcanIdotoassistmychildinbeingsuccessfulinmeetingtheirgoalsandaspirationsforsoccerparticipation?”

EmotionalNeedsofYouthPlayersChildrenhavefourbasicemotionalneedsinorganizedsports:Toplaysoccerwithnopressureimposedbyparents.Wearechildren,childrenmakemistakes,treatuslikechildrenandhelpuscorrectourmistakes.Seeingadultrolemodelsinactionensuresparticipationisfun.ToplaybecauseIlovethegame,notbecausemaybeonedayImaybeaprofessionalplayerorpossiblysecureascholarshipthroughsoccer.BeinganeducatedparentRegardlessofyourchild’sdegreeofsuccessorlevelofskillorlackof,youmustencourageyourchild.Inthestudentathlete’slife,encouragingparticipationinacrosssectionofsportsandactivitieswhileplacingacademicsfirstandensuringabalance.Emphasizeenjoymentofdevelopment,oflearningnewskills,meetingnewfriendsandalwayshavingFUN!Leavecoachtocoachandavoidplacingtoomuchpressureonyourchildaboutplayingtimeandtheirperformance.Rememberchildrenwillalwayslooktothesidelineforrecognition.Respondbysmiling,givingthethumbsup,andactingresponsibly.Youaretheirrolemodel.

YOURCHILD’SNEEDS

CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 9

Thereisagreatvarianceinthephysicalandemotionaldevelopmentofchildrenduetoage,genderandmaturity.Socceris“thekid’sgameforallkids”Thiswillmeanthattherewillbealltypesofkidsplayingtogether.InourProvincemostteamsandclubsarebasedonvolunteerdirectedprograms.Theyareconductedandcontrolledbyparentswhofilltherolesofcoach,administrator,boardmemberorpresident.Looselyspeaking,thesepeoplewillonlybeinvolvedforonlyafewyearswhiletheirownchildrenareparticipating.90%ofvolunteerdirectedyouthsportsarecoachedbyparentswithachildontheteam.WomencoachesinourProvinceadduptoonly10%oftheUnder6toUnder13agegroups.Lessthan10%ofthevolunteercoachesintheProvincehaveanytypeofcoachingcertificationorformalsoccereducation.Youngplayerscryimmediatelywhensomethingishurt.Somecryevenwhensomethingisnothurt.Somebodywillcomeoffthefieldwiththeneedtovisitthewashroom.Anyexternalattraction(likeakite,flockofbirdsetc)willattract99%oftheplayers'attention.Someplayersaresoproudtobeaffiliatedwithateamorclub,theywillweartheiruniformtobed,toschool,toshoppingwithmomandeverywhereelse.Aplayeronthebenchwillforgettopayattentiontotheactiononthefieldandsometimeswillrequireareminderthatit’stheirturntoplay.Playerswillstillstopplayingandlaughiftherefereegetshitinthebuttwiththeballduringagame–theyarenotplayingtowin,theyareplayingtohavefun.Ifyoudrivesomeoneelse’schildtopracticeorthegame,heorshemaynotremembertolookforyouaftertheeventtogethome.Whatdoplayersneed?Asupportiveandenthusiasticparents.Eachplayermusthavehisorherownage‐appropriateball.

WHATTOEXPECT

CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 10

Shinpadsaremandatoryfromasafetypointofview,ourchildrenmustbesafe.Thesemustbewornforallpracticesandgames.Soccerbootsthatmatchwiththeplayingsurfaceareneeded.Iftheyareplayingindoors,indoorsoccershoesshouldbeworn.Awaterbottlewiththeplayersnamewrittenonitfulloffreshwatershouldbeavailabletoyourchildateachpracticeandgame.Atmostclubs,ifnotall,yourchildwillbesuppliedwithajersey,shortsandsocks.The“practice”sessionThewarm‐uppreparestheplayersfortraining;itsetsthetoneforafunfilledpractice.Thewarm‐uppreparesthemindandbodyfortheupcomingphysicalactivities.Debatecontinuesastowhetheryoungplayersneedtostretch,howeverwerecommendstretchingtohelpencouragegoodhabitsforthefuture.Thewarm‐upshouldbe“ball‐driven”usingaballencouragesplayerstousealotoftouchesandforcesdribbling,thiswilldeveloptechnicalskill.Activitiesmustbeappropriatefortheskillsandagesoftheplayers.Thecoachshouldconductanumberofshortandvaryingactivities;thesemayormaynotberepresentativeofasoccergame. Funactivitiescouldbeinformsof:

Individual Smallgroupings Largegroupings TeamThecoachwillrotateandchangeactivitiesregularlyaschildren’sattentionspanislimited.

PRACTICESESSIONS

CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 11

TheSmallSidedGameisdesignedtofosterplayerdevelopmentandfamiliarizethechildrenwiththedifferentchallengestheywillexperienceastheyprogresstothelargergameformat.Childrenwanttoplayandhavefunplaying.SmallSidedGames(e.g.3v3or4v4)tohelpstokeepeveryoneinvolvedandalldeveloping.Activitiesareorganizedtoprogressintocontrolledscrimmagesandthenintoanopenscrimmage.Remember,thekidssigneduptoplaysoccer!Thefollowingaspectswillteachandfosterthefundamentalsofgoodsportsmanship.Sharethesewithyourchildandotherinterestedpersons.

• Cheerandencourageallthechildren,eventhoseontheotherteam.Youwillbesurprisedwhatdifferenceitcanmakeonthesidelineswhenparentsmakeanefforttoapplaudagoodeffortorgoodplaynomatterwhomakesit.

• Talktoparentsoftheotherteam.Theyarenottheenemy;theyarethereforthechildren

too.

• Beaparent,notacoach:resisttheurgetocritique.Childrendreadparentspointingoutalltheirmistakes.Sometimesjustbeingthereshowsyourchildrenwhatbeingagoodparentisallabout.

• Leavethecoachingtothecoaches.Thisincludesmotivating,psychingyourchildfor

practice,aftergamecritiquing,settinggoals,requiringadditionaltraining,etc.

Thanktheofficials‐findafewmomentstothanktheofficialsfortheirhardworkafteragame,especiallyifyourchild'steamloses.Youwillberewardedwiththepleasureofseeingasurprisedsmileinreturn.

THESMALLSIDEDGAME

TEACHINGSPORTMANSHIP

CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 12

Keepsoccerinitsproperperspective:Soccershouldnotbelargerthanlifeforyou.Ifyourchild'sperformanceproducesstrongemotionsinyou,suppressthem.Rememberyourrelationshipwillcontinuewithyourchildrenlongaftertheiryouthsoccerdaysareover.Keepyourgoalsandneedsseparatefromyourchild'sexperience.Havefun:Thatiswhatthechildrenaretryingtodo!SidelineActionsChildrenwanttobeapplaudedfortheirsuccessChildrendonotwantadultsyellinginstructions.Thinkofthesoccerfieldasafunplaygroundandnotasachampionshiparena.Focusontheprocessofdevelopingwhileplayingandnottheresult.Parentsshouldrefrainfromconsumingalcoholatthefieldincludingthesocialdrinkinthecarparkpriortothegame.Intheeventofsuchactionshappening,theclub,teamorofficialhastherighttoasktheoffendertoleaveorberemovedfromthevenue.FriendsNOTEnemiesUnliketheadultgame,childrenplayingsoccerdonotseetheotherteamastheenemy.Unlessthishasbeenreinforcedbytheadults.Theotherteammayconsistoftheirschoolfriendsorneighborsinthecommunity.Thereisaverygoodpossibilitythattheymaybeplayingtogetherinyourbackyardafterthegamehavingahot‐chocolatewithyou.CheerANYandALLsuccessonthefield.ItDOESNOTmatterwhatplayerORwhatteam.Theyareallkidsandtheywantyoutheretoseethemplay.ChildrenDon’tCareWhoWinsDon’tkeepscore,thekidsdon’tregarditasimportant.Don’tcarewhowinsorloses,thechildrenarehavingfunandthatistheobjectiveNOTwinningorlosing.

GAMEDAY

CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 13

“Youthsportprovidesanidealavenueforearlyexposuretosetbacks;itallowssupportiveparentsandadultstoofferguidancewiththestakesnotnearlybeingashighastheywillbesometimeslateroninlife.”GoinghomeafterthegameDon’trewardwhatyouperceiveassuccess.Don’tpunishwhatyouperceiveasfailure.Don’tevaluateyourchild’sperformance,heorsheisplayingtohavefun.PlayingyouthsoccerisNOTatest;therearenofailuresonlydevelopingsoccerplayers.Meetyourchild’sneedsbyrememberingthequestionsyouaskedandtheanswersyougotastowhyyourchildisplayingsoccer.Questionsonthewayhomeafterthegame“Parentsneedtounderstandthattheperiodfollowingpracticeandcompetitionisacrucialtimeforayoungathlete.It’simportanttheybegiventhefreedomtoprocessitontheirown.”­Silby,2000Didyouhavefuntoday?Whatdidyouthinkyoudidwelltoday?Whereyouabletouseyournewmovesthatyoulearntinpractice?Ifyouaregreetedwiththesoundofsilence,giveoffthegentlesoundsofapproval,besurehe/sheknowsyouthereforhim/her.Letthecoach,coach.Askthecoachforhiscoachingphilosophy,theteamrulesandguidelines.Don'taskquestionsduringagameorduringpractices.Arrangeanappointmentwiththecoachifyouhaveanyconcernsorquestions.Askthecoachhowyoucanhelp,duringpracticeandgamesbutdon’tbeoffendedifhe/shedeclinesyourassistance.Besupportive,alwaysbearolemodelwithpositivebehaviorandsupporttheprogram.

HOWTODEALWITHTHECOACH

CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 14

Reasonschildrenplaysoccerandcoachescoachsoccermustmatch,someitemsbelowwouldberegardedasconflicting.Itisimportantthattheplayer,coachandparentsareonthesamepage.Whyarethechildrenplaying?

• tohavefun• friendsareplaying• tosatisfymomanddad• timeawayfrommomanddad• getintoshape

Whyisthecoach,coaching?

• theirchildisplaying• wantstobeincharge• wantstoseeplayersdevelop• wantstoshowtheplayersalltheskillstheyhavelearnedovertheircareer• becausetheyenjoyandhavefunwiththekids• togivebacktothegame• towinthechampionship

Noteveryoneseestheplayexactlythesame.Themainobjectiveoftherefereeistomakethegameisplayedinasafeenvironmentandmanorforthechildren.Beingthepersonofficiatingagameisnotaseasyasitappears.Remember,manyofficialsarefathers,mothers,brothersandsistersofsoccerplayers,oraresoccerplayersthemselves.Manyotherofficialsarefellowparentsjusttryingtohelpyouthsoccerplayersdevelop.Itisimportanttorecognizethattherefereeisdoinghis/herbest.Theymayseesomethingthatyoudidnotseeormaybenotwhatyouwantedthemtosee.LettheOfficialblowthegame!Officialdeserverespectandneedtobegivensufficientsupport.Helpingtheofficialtocallafoulonlyconfuseschildren.

CONFLICTINGAGENDAS

THEOFFICIAL

CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 15

Disagreeingwiththecalls,onlyhindersyourchild'srespectfortherefereeandmayhurttheviewoftherefereetowardsyourchild'steam.Criticismcausesofficialstoquitratherthanbecomebetter.Manyofficialsquitduetobeingyelledatbyparents.Don’tbeembarrassedtothankandcheertheofficial.Thegoalistoletthegamebeplayedsothatchildrencandevelopandhavefun.BCSoccerwww.bcsoccer.netCanadianSoccerAssociationwww.canadasoccer.comNationalCoachesAssociationofCanadawww.coach.caTheFootballAssociationwww.thefa.comUnitedStatesYouthSoccerAssociationwww.usyouthsoccer.org

RESOURCESANDCREDITS