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Vols press on despiteJackson’s injury

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Robby O’DanielNews and Student Life Editor

In the past, the UT Issues Committee has put on eventsthat have packed the house to see the likes of former U.S.presidential candidate Howard Dean, author ChristopherHitchens or Noam Chomsky, and the committee seeks thesame kind of attendance for its events this upcoming fallsemester.

In fact, it was events in the past like seeing Dean andHitchens that got Issues Committee Vice Chair Eric Dixonfirst interested in join-ing.

“I was attracted to theIssues Committee justbecause my freshmanyear I’d been interestedin all the events theyhosted,” Dixon said. “Ijust thought the peoplewho must be makingthese decisions must bea great group of stu-dents.”

Dixon said the IssuesCommittee as a groupworks well together because, even though they frequentlydisagree, they are all open-minded and with varied inter-ests.

“What’s great is we can work through it and find what’sbest,” he said. “So we’re fortunate that not all our membersare alike.”

First and foremost, he said the committee wanted to beresponsible with the students’ money.

Phillip Smith, assistant director in the Office of StudentActivities and Issues Committee adviser, said the eventsare funded through the student activities fee that each UTstudent pays.

The Issues Committee is one of seven committees thatget a portion of the student activities fee money from theCentral Programming Council, Smith said.

So, Dixon said, the committee is trying to be fiscallyresponsible by looking not just at great speakers but greatspeakers at great pricetags.

Smith said the Issues Committee also factors in com-ment cards gathered from attendees who come to theevents, and the committee presents ideas at a planningretreat.

The Issues Committee focuses on events that eitherspeak to issues UT students are talking about or issuesthat are not talked about on campus enough in the commit-tee members’ eyes.

One example of the latter is this year’s first speaker, Alia

Malek, who will talk on Aug. 30 at 7 p.m. at the UCAuditorium.

“She’s going to be talking about American societythrough the perspective of Arab-Americans, and we don’tthink that maybe the idea of Islam or Muslim-Americansare considered or talked about enough,” Dixon said.

An example of the former is the gay marriage rightsdebate, which will take place on Oct. 10 at 7 p.m. at the UCAuditorium.

“We’ve seen small pockets of some LGBT programmingon campus,” Dixon said. “But we haven’t seen any real

large-scale events thattarget campus-wideattention.”

Maggie Gallagher,chairman and co-founderof the NationalOrganization forMarriage, and JohnCorvino, philosophy pro-fessor at Wayne StateUniversity, will do thedebating.

Another of the year’sevents grew out ofremembering the 10-year

anniversary of a tragedy, the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11,2001.

New York Fire Department Deputy Chief Jay Jonas willspeak the day after the anniversary, Sept. 12 at 7 p.m. atthe UC Auditorium.

Other events include C.L. Lindsay talking on Sept. 22at the UC Auditorium about people’s rights on the Internetand Jim Keady speaking on Nov. 16 at 7 p.m. at the UCAuditorium about sweat shops and their connections toshoe manufacturers.

But the event Dixon is most looking forward to is anevening with Bobby Seale, the co-founder of the BlackPanthers, on Oct. 13 at 7 p.m. at the UC Auditorium.

“His name might not be as known widely as other civilrights and black rights leaders, but he is such an importantfigure in American history and the Civil RightsMovement,” Dixon said.

Smith said Seale’s inclusion also plays into the univer-sity’s year-long celebration of the 50th anniversary ofAfrican-American integration at UT.

For those that have never been to an Issues Committeeevent, Smith said it is a great way to learn new things andengage with people with similar ideas.

“It helps keep students here on campus in a higherlearning environment,” Smith said. “And it’ll challengepeople because there are so many wide varieties of topicsthat can be discussed.”

The Torchbearer statue looks out into the night sky on Friday, Nov. 12, 2010.Although the design of the official symbol of the university was created in 1932, thestatue was not placed on campus in Circle Park until 1968.

George Richardson • The Daily Beacon

The Associated Press

ST. LOUIS — They gather in a genericsuburban office park, working-class studentschasing a fast track to success: a collegedegree.

But the message at the University ofPhoenix orientation is not quite what thesesecretaries, mental health aides, workingmoms and single dads expect.

“We want you to decide if this is right foryou,” says Sam Fitzgerald, director of aca-demic affairs at the school’s four St. Louiscampuses. “We’re here to help you figure itout.”

That candor would have been anathemanot too long ago in the lucrative world of for-profit colleges, where recruiters receivedhefty bonuses and often oversold careerprospects.

Yet these are new times for the industrythat now accommodates one in every eightAmerican college students, either in class oronline. Lawmakers in Congress are probingits excesses, from high loan default rates toreports of exploitative sales pitches towounded veterans.

The Obama administration in Juneunveiled new rules that could cut off govern-ment aid for programs where too few stu-dents repay their loans or acquire decent-pay-ing jobs. Disenchantment — and lawsuits —continue among both former students andskittish investors.

“They have a huge bulls-eye on them,” saidKevin Kinser, an associate professor at theState University of New York at Albany whostudies the industry. “They can’t risk busi-ness as usual anymore.”

The for-profit industry, which prefers theterm “career colleges” or “proprietary”schools, grew rapidly over the last decadeamid renewed calls to increase the nation’scollege graduation rate and a need to helplaid-off workers find new careers. The privatesector’s slice of federal aid money grew from$4.6 billion to more than $26 billion between2000 and 2010.

Now, the industry will see if it can still

make healthy profits from its challengingdemographic — low income workers, olderstudents and those with spotty academicbackgrounds — while being much moreaccountable for its results.

The changes are most apparent at theUniversity of Phoenix and its corporate par-ent, Apollo Group Inc., which, with nearly400,000 students, ranks atop the industry.

The school has created its own social net-work, PhoenixConnect, to better link its far-flung students as well as 600,000 alumni whocould help those students and graduates findjobs. It boasts of new alumni associationchapters, hundreds of student clubs and men-torship programs.

The three-week orientation program isnow required of all prospective students withfewer than 24 college credits. The program isfree, but those who don’t pass can’t continue.The company scrapped its financial incentiveprogram for enrollment counselors andthere’s less reliance on outside sales compa-nies to generate leads, and more emphasis onfinding corporate partners willing to help payfor their employees’ education.

The results have been dramatic. New stu-dent enrollment has declined by nearly half,and the company reported $159 million lessin net revenue after the first three quarters offiscal year 2011 compared to the previousyear.

Officials expect further enrollmentdeclines and more short-term financial painbut insist the approach will pay off with fewerdropouts, higher graduation rates and lowerfederal loan default rates.

“We have made a conscious decision tomake sure the students coming through thedoor are more likely to be successful,” saidMark Brenner, senior vice president for exter-nal affairs.

Change is also afoot at Kaplan University,which is owned by The Washington Post Co.and serves about 62,000 students. Another50,000 students study at Kaplan HigherEducation career colleges, which focus moreon specific trades.

See COLLEGE on Page 3

Rob DavisStaff Writer

UT has partnered with busi-nesses in the area to form theGreater Knoxville AreaConsortium of Employers(GKACE).

GKACE was organized tohelp Knoxville-area employersattract students from the univer-sity.

“We deal with two very dis-tinct and different types ofrecruiters,” Russ Coughenour,director of UT Career Services,said. “The first type of recruiterthat we deal with more of wouldbe the national type of recruiter,whose company has a formalcollege recruiting team. Thereare people that are dedicated tofocus on recruiting at major col-lege campuses across the coun-try. ... That’s the main type ofemployer we work with. We alsohave the local type of recruiterthat would be in the greaterKnoxville area, East Tennessee-based employer, that does nothave a team of recruiters or deeprecruiting pockets or budgets.It’s that second type of employerthat we are focusing the GKACEproject on.”

The goal of GKACE is toattract students to local busi-nesses that they normally wouldnot have heard of and level theplaying fields between local andnational recruiters.

“We know we have a lot ofstudents that come to theUniversity of Tennessee thatwant to stay in the area aftergraduation, but the recruiterisn’t as sophisticated in knowinghow to recruit that student assay, by recruiters fromEnterprise,” Coughenour said.

As of now, 13 businesseswithin a 75-mile radius ofKnoxville are members ofGKACE, including theKnoxville News Sentinel,Jewelry TV and First TennesseeBank.

“As a recruiter in theNortheast Tennessee area, Ibelieve that this is an excellent

program to encourage studentsto stay in the area after gradua-tion,” Tina Davis, who is arecruiter for a large companybased in Northeast Tennessee,said. “I’ll have students thatcome up to me, and after talkingto them for a while, I will tellthem they must stay in the areaafter they graduate for this job.A lot of times, students will saythey don’t want to stay here.GKACE would greatly help usreach students more effectively.”

When students sign up forthe Hire-A-Vol service on theCareer Services website, theyare prompted by the question,“Which of the following bestidentifies your post-graduationemployment preferences?”

Students then have threeoptions, two of which make thestudent searchable to theGKACE members.

Students can also changetheir minds and update theirpreferences.

Local employers can sign upand pay a fee of $299, part ofwhich will go towards a scholar-ship fund.

“GKACE will be run on ayearly subscription of $299,”Coughenour said. “We are goingto take either 30, 40 or 50 per-cent and put it in a scholarshipfund. The scholarship fund willbe available for students fromthe greater Knoxville area toapply for.”

The scholarship does notrequire the student to return tothe area after graduation.

Upcoming events for GKACEinclude a showcase on Nov. 2from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. in theUniversity Center.

“What we want to do is fea-ture the members in job fair for-mat where they can talk to ourstudent body about the opportu-nities that their company has,”Coughenour said. “So if you’re astudent interested in staying inthe area, you can come to thisevent and know that every com-pany is from the Knoxville areaand would not ask you to relo-cate at the point of hire.”

Issues Committee fall 2011 events

All events take place at the UC Auditorium at 7 p.m.

Aug. 30 — Alia Malek on Arab-Americans’ perspectivesSept. 12 — New York Fire Department Deputy Chief Jay Jonas

Sept. 22 — C. L. Lindsay on rights on the InternetOct. 10 — Gay marriage rights debate

Oct. 13 — Black Panthers co-founder Bobby SealeNov. 16 — Jim Keady on sweat shops

Issues Committee looks for morenotable, fiscally agreeable speakers

Program aids local firms, students alike

For-profit colleges answer criticism

Tuesday, August 9, 20112 • The Daily Beacon InSHORT

Members of the band perform at the groundbreaking ceremony of the new music building on Wednesday, Nov. 9. As the upcoming football season draws closer thePride of the Southland Marching Band gears up for another season of continued tradition.

Joy Hill • The Daily Beacon

1945 — Atomic bomb dropped on NagasakiOn this day in 1945, a second atom bomb is dropped on Japan by the United States, at Nagasaki, result-

ing finally in Japan’s unconditional surrender.The devastation wrought at Hiroshima was not sufficient to convince the Japanese War Council to

accept the Potsdam Conference’s demand for unconditional surrender. The United States had alreadyplanned to drop their second atom bomb, nicknamed “Fat Man,” on August 11 in the event of such recal-citrance, but bad weather expected for that day pushed the date up to August 9th. So at 1:56 a.m., a spe-cially adapted B-29 bomber, called “Bock’s Car,” after its usual commander, Frederick Bock, took off fromTinian Island under the command of Maj. Charles W. Sweeney. Nagasaki was a shipbuilding center, thevery industry intended for destruction. The bomb was dropped at 11:02 a.m., 1,650 feet above the city.The explosion unleashed the equivalent force of 22,000 tons of TNT. The hills that surrounded the citydid a better job of containing the destructive force, but the number killed is estimated at anywherebetween 60,000 and 80,000 (exact figures are impossible, the blast having obliterated bodies and disinte-grated records).

General Leslie R. Groves, the man responsible for organizing the Manhattan Project, which solved theproblem of producing and delivering the nuclear explosion, estimated that another atom bomb would beready to use against Japan by August 17 or 18 — but it was not necessary. Even though the War Councilstill remained divided (“It is far too early to say that the war is lost,” opined the Minister of War), EmperorHirohito, by request of two War Council members eager to end the war, met with the Council and declaredthat “continuing the war can only result in the annihilation of the Japanese people...” The Emperor ofJapan gave his permission for unconditional surrender.

1974 — Unusual succession makes Ford presidentIn accordance with his statement of resignation the previous evening, Richard M. Nixon officially ends

his term as the 37th president of the United States at noon. Before departing with his family in a helicop-ter from the White House lawn, he smiled farewell and enigmatically raised his arms in a victory or peacesalute. The helicopter door was then closed, and the Nixon family began their journey home to SanClemente, California. Richard Nixon was the first U.S. president to resign from office.

Minutes later, Vice President Gerald R. Ford was sworn in as the 38th president of the United Statesin the East Room of the White House. After taking the oath of office, President Ford spoke to the nation

in a television address, declaring, “My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over.”Ford, the first president who came to the office through appointment rather than election, had replaced

Spiro Agnew as vice president only eight months before. In a political scandal independent of the Nixonadministration's wrongdoings in the Watergate affair, Agnew had been forced to resign in disgrace afterhe was charged with income tax evasion and political corruption. In September 1974, Ford pardonedNixon for any crimes he may have committed while in office, explaining that he wanted to end the nation-al divisions created by the Watergate scandal.

1995 — Jerry Garcia diesLike his band the Grateful Dead, which was still going strong three decades after its formation, Jerry

Garcia defied his life-expectancy not merely by surviving, but by thriving creatively and commercially intothe 1990s — far longer than most of his peers. His long, strange trip came to an end, however, on this dayin 1995, when he died of a heart attack in a residential drug-treatment facility in Forest Knolls, California.A legendary guitarist and true cultural icon, Jerry Garcia was 53 years old.

Jerome John Garcia was born on August 1, 1942 and raised primarily in San Francisco’s ExcelsiorDistrict, about five miles south of his and his band’s famous future residence at 710 Ashbury Street.Trained formally on the piano as a child, Garcia picked up the instrument he’d make his living with at theage of 15, when he convinced his mother to replace the accordion she’d bought him as a birthday gift witha Danelectro electric guitar. Five years later, after brief stints in art school and the Army, and after surviv-ing a deadly automobile accident in 1961, Jerry Garcia began to pursue a musical career in earnest, play-ing with various groups that were part of San Francisco’s bluegrass and folk scene. By 1965, he had joinedup with bassist Phil Lesh, rhythm guitarist Bob Weir, organist Ron “Pigpen” McKernan and drummer BillKreutzman in a group originally called the Warlocks and later renamed “the Grateful Dead.”

From their early gig as the house band at Ken Kesey’s famous Acid Tests, the Dead was a defining partof San Francisco’s burgeoning hippie counterculture scene. They would go on to play at the Monterey PopFestival in 1967 and at Woodstock in 1969, but as big as they were in the 60s and 70s, the Grateful Deadgrew even more popular and successful as the decade they helped to define slipped further into the past.Indeed, during the final decade of Jerry Garcia’s life, following his recovery from a five-day diabetic comain 1986, the Dead played an average of 100 to 150 live shows per year, frequently to sold-out audiencesthat included a significant proportion of tie-dye-wearing college students who were not yet alive when theGrateful Dead first made their name.

— This Day in History is courtesy of History.com

Tuesday, August 9, 2011 The Daily Beacon • 3NEWS

The Associated Press

BLACKSBURG, Va. — Memories of theworst mass school shooting in U.S. historyat Virginia Tech came flooding back whenthe campus locked down after reports of aman with a gun, although some who weretold to stay indoors treated the warningswith a shrug.

The university on Thursday issued thelongest, most extensive lockdown andsearch on campus since the 2007 massacre.It came after three teenage girls attending asummer camp on campus reported to uni-versity police that they saw a man with apossible gun as they walked to the dininghall.

The school lifted the lockdown morethan five hours later after a search for sucha man was unsuccessful and police had noreal leads.

Mohammed Al-Halali, a sophomore tak-ing a summer architecture design lab, saidthe shootings that killed 33 people were“the first thing that came to mind” when hegot the emergency alert and he receivedmany texts from friends to make sure hewas all right.

Still, he said he never felt unsafe and hethought the police would have things undercontrol. He said the news media was hypingit.

University spokesman Larry Hinckersaid all voicemail, text-messaging, e-mailand social-media alerting systems workedwithout a hitch, and that issuing such awarning was necessary. Still, some contin-ued to stroll about the 2,600-acre campus,

despite requests to stay indoors. Severalthousand students and the school’s 6,500employees were on campus for summerclasses.

“People have the right to do what theywant to do,” Hincker said. “People havetheir own free will.”

Police searched some 150 buildings onthe square-mile campus and issued a com-posite sketch of a baby-faced man who wassaid to be wearing shorts and sandals, butthey found no sign of him. They continuedto patrol the grounds as a precaution evenafter the lockdown was lifted.

“We’re in a new era. Obviously this cam-pus experienced something pretty terriblefour years ago,” Hincker said. He added:“Regardless of what your intuition and yourexperience as a public safety officer tellsyou, you are really forced to issue an alert.”

It was the first time the entire campuswas locked down since the shooting ram-page by student Seung-Hui Cho, and thesecond major test of Virginia Tech’simproved emergency-alert system, whichwas revamped to add the use of text mes-sages and other means besides e-mail ofwarning students.

The system was also used in 2008, whenan exploding nail-gun cartridge was mistak-en for gunfire. But only one dormitory waslocked down then and it reopened twohours later.

Peggy Newsome was driving her 17-year-old daughter, Paige, and two of Paige’sfriends, Emily Oliver and Lauren Mackey,to Blacksburg for an afternoon admissionstour when the group started getting textmessages from friends about the lockdown. George Richardson • The Daily Beacon

Stung by a series of whistleblower lawsuits by formeremployees and a Florida attorney general’s investigation,Kaplan created a program that allows new students toattend classes for four or five weeks at no cost before decid-ing whether to continue. Kaplan also stopped paying incen-tives to recruiters.

The company reported a 48 percent decline in newenrollments as of April and an attrition rate of 25 percent.Of the latter group, 60 percent are dismissed by Kaplan forlack of academic progress.

The for-profit industry’s staunchest defenders includeDonald Graham, chief executive officer of The WashingtonPost Co.

“If we are to be guided only by those factors — studentgraduation rates and how much debt they incur — we

would probably close downall, or almost all, of theinstitutions of higher educa-tion — whomever they may be run by — that serve poorstudents,” Graham said at the company’s annual meeting inMay.

A committee led by Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Iowa, has heldmultiple hearings on for-profit colleges over the past year —most recently in early July, after the Obama administrationissued its new “gainful employment” rules. Those rulesrequire schools to meet at least one of three conditions tocontinue receiving Pell Grants and other federal paid-tuition: a loan repayment rate by former students of least 35percent; annual loan payments of no more than 30 percentof an average student’s discretionary income; or annual loanpayments that don’t exceed 12 percent of a typical gradu-ate’s salary.

Regulators say those conditions are needed to ensurethat for-profit graduates won’t face crippling debts, whichcombined with low-paying jobs could lead to more loan

defaults.The Senate committee found an average dropout rate of

57 percent within two years of enrollment at 16 unnamedfor-profit schools. More than 95 percent of students at two-year proprietary schools, and 93 percent at four-yearschools, took out student loans in 2007, the committeefound. That compares to fewer than 17 percent of communi-ty college students and 44.3 percent of students at four-yearpublic schools. Students at for-profit schools also accountfor nearly half of all student loan defaults, the committeefound.

“Some for-profit schools are efficient government subsidycollectors first and educational institutions second,” thecommittee concluded in its report.

In contrast to most nonprofit colleges, proprietary col-leges have emphasized expanding their student rolls,regardless of the academic prospects of those enrolled.

COLLEGEcontinued from Page 1

School’s alert lifted after no leads

Power Ts line the gates leading into Neyland Stadium’s plaza entrance on Monday,Sept. 13, 2010.

I am a huge Harry Potter fan. I haven’t alwaysbeen a die hard Potter follower. In fact, I had onlyseen two of the movies and hadn’t read any of thebooks up until two summers ago. It was then thata friend of mine rather forcefully suggested that Iwatch another one of the movies. The next thing Iknew, I had watched all the movies that were out atthe time and had ordered the whole series of booksoff Amazon. Once my books arrived, it took me twoand a half weeks to read all seven of them. Yep, I’ma fan.

Naturally, (well, I certainly found it natural) Ihave re-read some of the books and must have re-read the last few chapters of “Harry Potter and theDeathly Hallows” at least half a dozen times. Sufficeit to say, I know how the book ends, and it endsmagnificently.

We all know that Hollywood is notorious formessing up books. Well, that is exactly what theydid with the ending of “Harry Potter and the DeathlyHallows Part II.” All through the movie, I was soexcited because they were pretty much sticking tothe book, and then, the battle came. That’s whenthe writers came to the completely insaneconclusion that they could write an ending betterthan J. K. Rowling. Don’t get me wrong, I loved themovie, and the ending made for a good movie. Itjust was not nearly as good as the last few chaptersof the book. Basically, I was ticked. Well, I still am.

So the question is, why? Why is it that Hollywoodscreen writers and directors think it is wise torewrite things that were obviously wonderful tobegin with. Books are only made into movies whenthey are really good, popular, successful books. That,in and of itself, should inform writers that the storyin the book worked. So why mess with it?

“The book was better,” “it was nothing like thebook,” and “they messed up the story,” are probablythree of the most repeated phrases when it comesto movies. “The Chronicles of Narnia,” for example,

were beautiful books with timeless messages. Theywere widely popular and were, therefore, made intomovies. Surprise! Hollywood rewrote a masterpieceinto decent, but not excellent movies. All right, Ihappily admit that the movie version of “The Lion,the Witch and the Wardrobe” stayed pretty close tothe book. Its sequels, however, did not. In the greatbooks, Prince Caspian is closer to 12 than he is to20. He is described as “a very young boy.” He andSusan Pevensie had no silly romance, nor romanceof any kind for that matter. Prince Caspian, beinga small child, looked up to Peter Pevensie with ardor.Peter mentored him, whereas, in the poorly writtenmovie version, a 20-something-year-old Caspianand Peter have a dangerous power struggle. Thestruggle is only illuminated by the totally awkwardand unnecessary romance between Caspian andSusan.

In the third installment of “The Chronicles ofNarnia” movies, “Voyage of the Dawn Treader,” theytook the name and characters from the books butwrote a story all their own; a story that, of course,pales in comparison to that in the beautiful book.The entire movie is based around an evil green mist.Well, here’s the problem: The book contained nogreen mist. So, the movie was truly nothing like thebook. I was furious about that one. My dad read me“The Chronicles of Narnia” when I was little. I lovedthem then and I love them now, and I hated seeingthem twisted and warped into movies that triedvery hard to cloud the messages that were sobeautifully clear in the books by strange storychanges and what some people mistakenly call“entertainment.”

I find it almost insulting that Hollywood feelsthey can and/or should change stories I love. I alsothink that it is downright foolish on their part.Although I understand that some things need to beshortened or combined and, in rare cases, left outof movies to keep the time under five hours,Hollywood writers would do well to remember thesayings “don’t fix what isn’t broken” and “don’t messwith a good thing” in mind. I honestly believe thatthey would make more money if they stayed trueto the books and in the good graces of those wholove the books.

— Chelsea Tolliver is a junior in the CollegeScholars Program. She can be reached [email protected].

It’s the end of the summer, the heat is devastating, ourcredit rating has dropped and stocks are in the toilet.Instead of giving you some advice that will either gounheeded or lampooned, I think I’ll just expound onsome conspiracy theories that have been rattling aroundmy head. If you have little tolerance for fringe ideas orviews formed more on instinct that concrete evidence,feel free to tune out now and hit 100.3. They are waitingfor you.

O.K., now that they’re gone, let’s talk shop. I’m notreally going to start pointing fingers at people orquestioning the motives of the Illuminati or theFreemasons. No, I’m going to talk about a series of videogames, because that’s what I do well. Like a good Socialist,I know my place in society and will now attempt toperform my single task lest the High Comrade find meunfavorable.

In all seriousness, I’m trying to thin out the audienceso I can geek out on something some of you will alsoknow a lot about. The game is “Assassin’s Creed,” andthe story is simple. Since the dawn of civilization, twofactions have warred for control over humanity’s future.The Knights Templar, under their many guises, havealways striven to control through indoctrination andinvoluntary conscription. The Assassins, on the otherhand, live by the maxim “Nothing is true, everything ispermitted.” They naturally seek for each person to findtheir own path and decide on their own version of “theTruth.”

This idea of Truth pervades the series, especially thelatter two console entries in which players must decodeencrypted files in the simulation program constructthrough which most of the storyline is told. A key conceptwhich drives the series is DNA memory, the idea thatthe lives and experiences of ancestors up to the birth ofa child is encoded into that child’s DNA and passed todescendants. The Templars seek to harness thesememories by kidnapping descendants and forcing themto relive the often violent, if historically significant, livesof their ancient ancestors in a neural interfacing machinedubbed “the Animus.” Think of it as “Forrest Gump”

meets “The Matrix.”Why am I waxing pedantic about something as old

news as these games?The idea of world domination in literature and art is

nothing new. What developer Ubisoft does with“Assassin’s Creed,” however, sets the series’ game worldapart from many other contenders in the field. Anotherpersonal fave, “Fallout,” imagines a post-nuclear worlddestroyed by militant capitalists and unflinching Socialistsbombing each other to the Dark Ages over oil. Again,two sides ultimately decide humanity’s future withouta mass vote, but simply by setting off a catastrophicnuclear holocaust.

“Assassin’s Creed” offers a more intuitive approach,stepping back in time and creatively finagling in the livesof such titans as the Borgias, rivals Nikola Tesla andThomas Edison, and even former President GeorgeW. Bush. Such caressing of history has been performedadmirably in the past, most notably by Konami’s “MetalGear” series. However, by intertwining in-gamerendezvous with influential figures and intensecryptography, aided by some ace Photoshopping, oneis left with a prevailing sense of Truth in this alternatereality, and must for a brief moment question whetherthey are in on some vast conspiracy or simply revelingin well-crafted fiction.

This is perhaps the pinnacle of post-modernstorytelling. While the games are rampant with plot-holesand erroneous chronology, the sense of total immersionin the storyline, thanks in no small part to the loadingscreens in the Animus which offer helpful tips and givethe sense of sitting in a next-gen virtual reality simulatorwith never-ending lines of binary code and C++ fragmentsflying past in a stream, coupled with in-game multimediapuzzles offers a nonlinear story in a sandbox world whicheschews the random ephemera of “Fallout” or “GrandTheft Auto” for quality of experience.

I love conspiracy theories for the simple fact that fora moment, they make you feel as if you are in on aworldwide joke or a crucial secret whose integrity is morevaluable than your own life. In an age where informationis considered a right instead of a privilege, suchphenomena are likely to die out with our generation.“Assassin’s Creed” captures this final moment as anapocalyptic signifier, a message which tells the world“Ignorance is no excuse for mindless conformity, andin the end, it will not save you.” Fiction, sure, but in theend, you have to wonder if the creators are trying to tellus something deeper.

— Jake Lane is a senior in creative writing. He can bereached at [email protected].

Tuesday, August 9, 20114 • The Daily Beacon

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The Daily Beacon is published by students at The University of Tennessee Mondaythrough Friday during the fall and spring semesters and Tuesday and Friday during thesummer semester. The offices are located at 1340 Circle Park Drive, 5 CommunicationsBuilding, Knoxville, TN 37996-0314. The newspaper is free on campus and is availablevia mail subscription for $200/year, $100/semester or $70/summer only. It is alsoavailable online at:

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LETTERS POLICY: The Daily Beacon welcomes all letters to the editor andguest columns from students, faculty and staff. Each submission is considered forpublication by the editor on the basis of space, timeliness and clarity. Contributionsmust include the author’s name and phone number for verification. Students mustinclude their year in school and major. Letters to the editor and guest columns maybe e-mailed to [email protected] or sent to Blair Kuykendall, 1340 CirclePark Dr., 5 Communications Building, Knoxville, TN 37996-0314. The Beaconreserves the right to reject any submissions or edit all copy in compliancewith available space, editorial policy and style. Any and all submissions tothe above recipients are subject to publication.

Jake Lane

TT he Hermithe HermitSSSS pppp eeee aaaa kkkkeeee tttt hhhh

by

OPINIONS

Columns of The Daily Beacon are reflections of the individual columnist, and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Beacon or its editorial staff.

THE GREAT MASH-UP • Liz Newnam

Americans have come to depend on oil, SocialSecurity and a triple-A credit rating. These pillars ofAmerican society have all been threatened as of late, butthe credit rating is the first to fall.

Standard & Poor’s has docked Uncle Sam’s triple-Ato double-A-plus, putting the U.S. economy on par withNew Zealand and Belgium. The announcement cameafter a week of debt talks took a savage toll on the market.S&P dropped the news just as Wall Street suits werecozying up to their first scotch on the rocks Fridayevening.

Instead of an “extremely strong capacity to meetfinancial commitments,” S&P now rates the U.S.economy with “very strong capacity to meet financialcommitments.” But what does that actually mean forthe economy’s future?

An easy answer simply doesn’t exist. Most of theusual authorities are reluctant to make a wager, butinstead are offering up different scenarios that couldpossibly take place, depending on investor dispositions.The Wall Street Journal’s “Review and Outlook” offeredpredictions depending on government response tothe news. Denial of the S&P warning, its editorialasserted, will put the U.S. on a crash course chasing afterGreece. Increased government spending and thusincreased inflation would further undermine the integrityof the dollar. The only course of action endorsed bythe paper is a return to “classical, pro-growth economicideas” to re-establish the credit rating.

Some international investors have expressed concernover the downgrade, with most outspoken criticismcoming from China. The Chinese are calling for the U.S.to “get its financial house in order,” nervously eying U.S.securities it holds. Most investors are worried S&P’sactions could spark an international panic. This is trulyironic, because in incidents of world panic, investorsusually come running to the U.S. Treasury.

That’s exactly what they did on Monday morning.The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped around 600points on the day, while investors simultaneouslyscrambled to purchase U.S. Treasury bonds. Yields onthe 10-year note fell sharply to 2.3 percent, and yieldson the two-year note reached a low of 0.27 percent.

Bond prices move inversely to their respective yields,so prices for treasury bonds saw a great upswing. Whenthe global economy is in jeopardy, money runs for thehighest ground.

Investor behavior thus makes perfect sense. Europeis facing its own crisis, with Italy and Spain threateningthe sanctity of the euro, necessitating another German-backed bailout. China and Japan have yet to garner areputation of stability in the minds of investors. Theinflux of demand for U.S.-backed securities indicatesthat investors are less rattled by what the S&Pdowngrade means for the U.S., and more concernedabout the collective future of the global economy. Theproblems faced by the U.S. and Europe coupled withtroubles in Japan signal a broader economic slow down.Even with the credit downgrade, the U.S. is likely stillthe fastest horse in a Grade III race.

That doesn’t mean Uncle Sam won’t suffer with thebest of them. The Dow has lost over 1280 points inthe last eleven sessions, not even taking into accountMonday’s bloodbath. All signs indicate nothing buttrouble on the horizon for the U.S. economy. Politiciansare scrambling to lay blame on any doorstep but theirown.

The Obama administration has taken an interestingcourse in its response to the downgrade. In the wakeof S&P’s announcement, the president chose not toaddress the nation until Monday. He acknowledged thedowngrade was based on S&P’s lack of confidence inWashington, but cited Warren Buffett’s confidence inthe American economy as proof that the market’sfoundation is still strong. While admitting that the U.S.needs a long-term plan for deficit reduction, he indicatedthat most plausible spending cuts have been madealready. The president seems to think that increased taxrevenue will be the answer to America’s debt woes.

The S&P, though, has refused to back down. In acable interview Monday morning, the head of S&P’ssovereign-debt-rating committee, David Beers, citedpolitics as one of the two main reasons the U.S. creditrating was downgraded. He pegged Washington as adysfunctional system that allowed the nation to comewithin 10 hours of shutdown, making it inferior to thegovernments of other nations abroad. Beers also citedWashington’s refusal to make $4 trillion in budget cutsas a sign of insufficient government action. Withlingering threats of another downgrade in the next 6months, America’s future remains uncertain. Our onlyhopes for reform right now lie in Washingtoncompromise. Godspeed, America.

--Blair Kuykendall is a junior in the College ScholarsProgram. She canbe reached at [email protected]

Chelsea Tolliver

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Game posits conspiracy as art form

Hollywood bungles best literature

S&P sullies Uncle Sam’s credibility

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SCRAMBLED EGGS • Alex Cline

NoteEditor’s

Blair KuykendallEditor-in-Chief

This space could be

yours. Call 974-4931

Read the BeaconClassifieds!

ACROSS1 Grumpy

expression6 Dollop

10 Do a traditional Monday chore

14 Anthem’s opener15 Capitol ___16 Winemaking

province of Italy17 Warning about

a chubby guy in some skimpy swimwear?

20 Chief Theban deity

21 Many a four-wheel drive transport, for short

22 Religion, to the masses, per Marx

23 Condo, e.g.25 “Wheel of

Fortune” action26 No-good, awful

frozen waffle?33 Have a life34 First word of the

Lord’s Prayer35 They may have

“II” or “III” after their names

36 “A Woman Speaks” writer Anaïs

37 Villages39 Lead pumper, in

old slang40 Meditation on a

mat42 She-sheep43 Fern’s seed45 Icy winter

greeting?49 “___ for the poor”50 Ruhr road51 Former Polish

capital54 Part of H.R.H.55 Right-hand

person59 Result of cleaning

up some building toys?

62 Sign on a shop’s door

63 One may be leading or supporting

64 Arctic, for one65 Gen ___

(boomers’ kids)66 Custodian’s

ringful67 Alternative to

purchaseDOWN

1 Couch2 Bosom buddy3 Capital near

Lillehammer4 Squirrels’ stash5 Fleur-de-___6 Area in need of

urban renewal7 Actor Schreiber8 Like Mother

Hubbard9 Filmed bits that

don’t make it on the air

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whales, say12 “A.S.A.P.!”13 Camouflage18 Au ___

19 “… hear ___ drop”

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France27 Zeus bound him

to an eternally revolving wheel

28 Fab Four name29 Dry (off )30 Nikolai who

wrote “Diary of a Madman”

31 Bump on a tree32 Bone: Prefix37 Collaboration38 Temple

University team41 Rouses43 “Quiet!”44 Sinners may do it46 E-journal

47 Everglades birds

48 Cartoonist Thomas

51 Kentucky’s Fort ___

52 Hitchcock classic seemingly filmed in one continuous take

53 DiMag, e.g., for his entire career

54 “Monty Python and the ___ Grail”

56 Notion

57 “___ you’re told!”

58 Cousin of -ette or -trix

60 Bathwater temperature tester

61 “You’ve got mail”co.

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NEW YORK TIMES CROSSWORD • Will Shortz

TUTORINGTTEESSTTPPRREEPP EEXXPPEERRTTSSGGRREE// GGMMAATT// LLSSAATT

For over 30 years, Michael K. Smith, Ph.D., and his teachers have helped UT students prepare for the GRE/ GMAT/ LSAT. Our programs offer individual tutoring, practice tests, and computer- adaptive strategies at a reasonable price. Programs can be designed around your schedule, weekdays, weeknights, or weekends. Conveniently located at 308 South Peters Rd. Call (865)694-4108 for more information.

EMPLOYMENT35-yr established co. needs dependable, coachable, mo-tivated, call ctr agents. Exp pref’d/not req’d. $8-$16/hr. Flex FT/PT hrs avail. No weekends. 865-246-1823.

Assistant needed to help with usa.campusfrance.org application. To attend col-lege in France. Call immedi-ately Angelyn 414-8903.

BBeeaarrddeenn EEaarrllyy EEnnrriicchhmmeenntt PPrrooggrraamm

PT Teachers Needed. Exp with Children Req. Immedi-ate Openings. Send resume and Ref’s to: [email protected] or fax to 865-588-6989.

CCuussttoommeerr SSeerrvviiccee RReepprree--sseennttaattiivvee $$1122..0000 ppeerr hhoouurr. Serve customers by pro-viding and answering questions about financial services. You will have the advantage of working with an experienced man-agement team that will work to help you suc-ceed. Professional but casual west Knoxville call center location, conven-ient to UT and West Town Mall. Full and part-time positions are available. We will make every effort to provide a convenient schedule. Email: [email protected]: (865)330-9945.

Housekeeper/Nanny. Need responsible, energetic, or-ganized “neat freak” to clean home, prepare simple meals, do laundry and pick up 3 teenagers from school. Kids school is close to UT. We reside in West Knoxville. Monday & Friday hours are flexible, Wednesday and Thursday 3-6pm. 20/hrs per week. $12/hr. References re-quired. Please email interest to [email protected] or call (865)694-1459.

EMPLOYMENT

KKiiddss PPllaaccee,, IInncc..is looking for enthusias-tic, creative, hard working employees to work with children in our after-school programs in Knox Co. Schools. Many loca-tions available.

GGoooodd ppaayy &&nnoo wweeeekkeennddss!!!!

If this is you or anyone you know, please call our office at (865)933-7716 to schedule an appointment or pick up an application. You may also fax your re-sume to (865)933-9663.

Kidtime After School Pro-gram seeking caring coun-selor $7.50/hr. AL Lotts Ele-mentary School, Farragut Primary, Dogwood Elemen-tary. M-F 12:00- 6:30PM. Please call Olivia at (865)640-3108.

Landscaping company look-ing for FT and PT help. Must be able to drive pick-up truck. Leave name and num-ber at (865)584-9985.

Looking for students with car to nanny 2 girls, ages 9 & 4. M-W-F 2-6pm. Call (703)798-5026.

Now hiring for after school childcare center in West Knoxville. PT positions avail-able 2-6PM. Call Robert 454-1091.

Opportunity for marketing internship. Must be self mo-tivated with marketing knowledge. Submit resume to [email protected].

Part time 20 - 30 hours a week. Lawn Care experience preferred. $9/hr. (865)216-5640.

PT positions for North Knoxville apartment com-plex. Ground/ maintenance . 10 - 20 hours per week. Starting $8.50 hour. Call (865)688-5547 for informa-tion. Interviews by appoint-ment only.

Seeking Veterinary Recep-tionist. FT or PT for a small animal practice in West Knoxville. Must be friendly, courteous, able to think in-dependently,good work ethic, and multi-tasker. Good computer skills a plus. Must have one year experi-ence in a veterinary setting and salary commensurate with experience Email [email protected] or fax (865)671-2337,

EMPLOYMENTPT Weight Loss Consultant. Jenny Graig WLC/ 9307C Kingston Pike. Must provide nutritional information; mo-tivate; set/follow-up exer-cise goals; extensive phone work. Must be friendly, or-ganized, compassinate, and possess excellent communi-cation skills; computer skills necessary. Psychology, Nu-trition, Food/Exercise Sci-ence majors love this posi-tion. Hourly: $8/hr plus in-centive (Ave. $10-$11/hr). Paid training. Hours M(2-7pm); T,W,TH. (2-6pm); occ. Sat. (8-1pm). Contact Amy Yates/Jo Vaccaro @ 531-3353 or email resume to [email protected].

Seeking UT student to help with housecleaning, lawn-care, and babysitting. 5 min-utes from campus. 637-3600.

Seeking UT student to tutor 10 year old son in reading and other learning needs. 637-3600.

TTHHEE TTOOMMAATTOO HHEEAADD KKNNOOXXVVIILLLLEE

Now hiring dish and food running positions. Full and part-time available, no expe-rience necessary. Apply in person at 12 Market Square or apply online at thetomato-head.com.

Want to get paid to play? Looking for PT job with a flexible schedule? Try Sitters on Demand. Start immedi-ately. Experience with chil-dren required. Contact Ken-dyll at (423)650-9056 or [email protected].

UNFURN APTSRReenntt nnooww ffoorr JJuunnee!! 1 and 2BR Apts. UT area. (865)522-5815. Ask about our special.

1166tthh PPLLAACCEE AAPPAARRTTMMEENNTTSS3 blocks from UT Law School (1543- 1539 Highland Ave.) 1BR and 2BR apts. only. Brick exterior, carpet, laun-dry facility on first floor. Guaranteed and secured parking. 24 hour mainte-nance. No dogs or cats. 31st year in Fort Sanders. [email protected]. (865)522-5700.

CCAAMMPPUUSS 22 BBLLOOCCKKSS3BR $990, 2BR $675-$795 1BR $525-$565. Restored Hardwood Floors Historic Fort Sanders No pets.UTK-APTS.com(865)933-5204.

KKEEYYSSTTOONNEE CCRREEEEKK2BR apartment. Approx 4 miles west of UT on Middle-brook Pike. $497.50. Call (865)522-5815. Ask about our special.

UNFURN APTSSouth Knoxville/UT down-town area 2BR apts. $475. Call about our special (865)573-1000.

VVIICCTTOORRIIAANN HHOOUUSSEE AAPPTTSSEEssttaabblliisshheedd 11998800

3 blocks behind UT Law School. 1, 2 and 3BR apart-ments. VERY LARGE AND NEWLY RENOVATED TOP TO BOTTOM. Hardwood floors, high ceilings, porches, 3BR’s have W/D connec-tions. 2 full baths, dishwash-ers. Guaranteed secured parking. 24 hour mainte-nance. No dogs or cats. [email protected]. (865)522-5700.

FOR RENT1BR $575 2BR $700. 4408 Kingston Pike, across from Fresh Market on bus line. Call 219-9000.

2BR apt. 3 blocks from UT. 1803 White Ave. 584-5235 or 548-6633.

3BR 2BA house. Will con-sider individual leases. 10 minutes to UT. W/D $975/mo. plus utilities. Available August 1. (423)283-9355.

CCAAMMBBRRIIDDGGEE AARRMMSSJust 4 miles west of campus. Small pets allowed. Pool and laundry rooms. 2BR at great price! Call (865)588-1087.

Close to UT. 3BR, 2BA, du-plex W/D connection. New paint, hardwood flooring. $750/mo includes water. $375 deposit. 865-621-4788

For Rent. 720 ft. apartment adjacent to campus. 1700 Clinch Avenue. No pets. $650. Call 423-482-7708.

HHUUNNTTIINNGGTTOONN PPLLAACCEEUT students! Only 3 miles west of campus. We have eff. to 3BR. Hardwood floors. Central H/A. Pets al-lowed. Call (865)588-1087. Ask about our special.

LLUUXXUURRYY 11 BBRR CCOONNDDOOSSPool/ elevator/ security.

3 min. walk to Law School. $$448800RR. $$330000SSDD. No app. fee. 865 (440088--00000066,, 225500--88113366).

Monday Plaza 1BR and stu-dios available on The Strip. Starting at $365/mo. Call (865)219-9000 for informa-tion.

REMODELED 1BR CONDO. Pool, elevator, near Law School, ceramic tile, new carpet. Call (423)968-2981, 366-0385.

UT Students! Unfurnished single family home just across river in South Knox-ville. 4 BR, 2BA, WD, security system, internet, lawn serv-ice and local phone. NO pets. $1,000/mo plus secu-rity deposit. 865-661-1439.

FOR RENTRRIIVVEERR TTOOWWNNEE CCOONNDDOOSS

Lavish Living on the TN River across from UT campus. Spacious 2 & 3 bedrooms starting at $475 per bedroom. Gated community includes all stainless steel appliances, internet, digital cable, wa-ter/sewer, security sys-tems, W/D, garage park-ing, private balconies overlooking river and a salt water pool. Univer-sity Real Estate & Prop-erty Mgmt, LLC (865)673-6600 www.ure-housing.com.

Studio condo near campus. 17th and Clinch. $500/mo. Available now. Top floor with view. (510)847-5957.

TThhee WWooooddllaannddss3BR, 3BA, Luxury condo. Be-low market at $400/BR. Spa-cious ground level flat. Front and rear patio. Lots of amenities. (865)382-7367.

WWAALLKK TTOO CCAAMMPPUUSSGreat Specials! 1BR Apart-ments. Available. No secu-rity deposits. Prime Campus Housing (865)637-3444. pri-mecampushousingtn.com.

HOUSE FOR RENT$$ RReedduucceedd $$

Great older house in Ft. Sanders. 3BR, 1BA, Central H/A, old style hardwood flooring, D/W, nice front porch and newly rebuilt back porch., off street park-ing. 1625 Forest. Reduced to $1185/mo. No pets. Available August 1. 389-6732 or 615-300-7434.

2BR 2BA house. Includes liv-ing room, kitchen, CH/A, W/D, dishwasher, private parking, fenced yard. Walk-ing distance to UT. 2018 For-est Ave. $800/mo. Available now. Also, 3BR house 1533 Forest Ave. Available August 1. $1500/mo. 865-522-3325.

HOUSE FOR RENT3BR, 2.5BA, W/D, very nice and close to campus. $350/mo. per person. Call 386-5081 or visit www.vol-housing.com.

6BR house available for fall. 2 blocks from campus on Clinch. Hardwood floors. Call for info 525-3369.

BEAUTIFUL ISLAND HOME PARK 6 min. UT. 4/5BR 3BA furnished LR, DR, den, sun-porch, deck, grill. All appli-ances, W/D, hardwood, se-curity. No pets. $1425/mo. Available August. Jim 363-1913.

Killer historic house for rent in Ft. Sanders. 4&5 BR, 1 block off strip. 1721 White Ave. 257-2693.

ROCKY TOP HOME FOR RENT. 3BR/2BA HOME ON 7 ACRES. 10 MIN FROM CAM-PUS. NEED ROOMMATES. COST TO EACH $275/MO PLUS UTILITIES SHARING. CALL JAY AFTER 7PM 865-235-9817 OR JOHN (703)938-5215 ANYTIME. HOME IS AT 1029 BROWN ROAD, KNOXVILLE.

CONDOS FOR RENT14th and Clinch- Nice 1BR Condo. Pool, Elevator, near Law School, Gated security access, MORE. $500R. Call 865-603-4092.

2BR, 2BA, West Cliff Condo. View the Tennessee River, Cumberland and Smoky Mountains all from LR and wrap around balcony. Secu-rity building. No smoking, no pets. $850/mo. (813)854-4446 [email protected].

Available now. 3BR, 2BA 1800 sq.ft. West Knoxville Condo. All appliances including W/D. Plenty of parking. $1025/mo. (865)242-0632. https://sites.google.com/site/donnellypropertymanage-ment/

CONDOS FOR RENTCCOONNDDOOSS FFOORR LLEEAASSEE

OONN CCAAMMPPUUSSDon’t wait! Only a few re-maining! 2&3 bedroom units starting at $325 per bedroom. Inclues inter-net, cable, and parking. Most units have W/D’s. University Real Estate and Property Mgmt, LLC (865)673-6600 www.ure-housing.com.

ROOMMATESGreat condo. Fully fur-nished, w/d, near Market Square. Only FT studious UT students need apply. $550/ mo. Private BR,BA. Call Jacob 865-719-2129.

Housemate needed. Female seeks studious UT student to share home in West Hills area. 15 mins. from UT. Pri-vate BR, BA and study. Exclu-sive use of living room. Fur-nished or unfurnished. Share kitchen and laundry room. $450/mo rent includes utili-ties and wireless internet. Contact Pamela at 382-0966 or [email protected].

CONDOS FOR SALE

1509 HIGHLAND AVE. #A105, $85,000. FOUNTAIN PLACE SUBDIVISION! University of Tennessee! This unit is w/i walking distance to UT. This is an end unit, ground level w/ 2 BR/ 2BA w/ full kitchen. Crown molding, ceiling fans. Freshly painted interior and new carpet. A parking pass goes along with purchase. #755133 Talking Homes 1-877-463-6546 Code 9006.

For Sale or Lease 2BR, 1.5BA, all brick townhouse in West Hills. Swimming pool, bonus storage area. Leave name and number at (865)584-9985.

CONDOS FOR SALEFFOORR SSAALLEE

Popular condos in the UT area within walking dis-tance to campus. Why pay rent when you can own? Lake Plaza, Franklin Station, St. Christopher, Renaissance, & Game Day. Michele Garren, Univer-sity Real Estate and Prop-erty Management, LLC (865)673-6600.www.ure-housing.com. Ask about investor units.

Why pay inflated prices to live in a zoo? Nice 2BR/2 full bath condo in quiet neigh-borhood in west Knox. Near Walker Springs off Robinson Road. Easy access to every-thing. New paint, carpet, vi-nyl floors, kitchen appli-ances. $99,900. Call 947-4913.

HOMES FOR SALEBearden/Forest Brook area, $159,000, private fenced yard, many updates, 3BR/2BA, available immed., Catherine Traver, Coldwell Banker Wallace & Wallace (865)256-3779.

Great North HIlls invest-ment property for family with student. Only 12 min-utes to UT. 3BR/1BA, h/w floors, new roof, large back-yard. $84,900. Realty Execu-tives Associates, 688-3232; Mike, 789-3902.

FURNITURE

MATTRESS SALEStudent discounts, lay-away available. Twin size starting at $89.99, Full $119.99, Queen $149.99. Also carry Fu-tons. Call (865)560-0242.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011 The Daily Beacon • 5ENTERTAINMENT

Robby O’DanielNews and Student Life Editor

Watching FX’s new comedy “Wilfred,” based onthe Australian television series of the same name, isa bit like watching some Charlie Kaufman-penned,surrealistic movie.

In many ways, “Wilfred” should not work, andyet it manages to, somewhat.

The story follows depressed Ryan (Elijah Wood),who is planning perhaps the most delicate suicideof all time. When viewers first see Ryan, he is tap-ping away at his computer, revising a file that reads“Suicide Note — Third Revision.” He then downsa bunch of pills his sister prescribed him and care-fully lies in the center of his well-made bed.

But nothing is happening. He chugs a bottle ofcold medicine. Nothing. In order to get sleepy, hetries jumping rope. He takes a cold shower. ButRyan is not dying tonight.

After all this, it’s now daytime, and his neighborasks Ryan to take care of her dog, Wilfred. Butwhile everyone else sees a dog, Ryan sees a man(Jason Gann) in a brown, furry dog costume.

The central question at the heart of “Wilfred” ishow long can dog jokes work? A follow-up question:How long will a dog smoking marijuana work?

For at least the pilot episode, the answer to thosequestions is, about three-fourths of an episode.Toward the end of the pilot, “Wilfred” delves into aschmaltzy area, equating living life with using thebathroom in someone’s shoes. Granted, “Wilfred” isnot taking itself too seriously here, but the ideaof a depressed protagonist doing zanythings to learn that life is worth living is abeen-there-done-that premise.

The character of the sister, while well-played, comes off more as just a plotdevice. She is there to drive Ryantoward pursuing a job and being a“normal” person, but she alsoserves as an obstacletoward Ryan’s newpath of self-fulfill-ment by essential-ly doing whatev-er he wants todo, no matterhow sociallyunacceptable thatmay appear to anoutsider. The sisteris essentially the livingembodiment of the tiredplot, the coming-of-age-by-

zany-actions premise.Still, the pilot episode has its laughs. The initial

introduction to Ryan, in the midst of a well-thought-out suicide, is hilarious. Wood makes the compari-

son between “Wilfred” and a Kaufman workeven more obvious, considering his

turn in “Eternal Sunshine of theSpotless Mind” as someoneattempting to recreate acourtship through notes.

While much of Wilfred’shumor comes from dog jokes,

Gann’s laid-back demeanorand delivery provide an

excellent foil to thesomewhat uptight

Ryan.At times, the

dog jokes seemtoo played out,while at othertimes, the showcomes up with anew way of think-ing about the situ-

ation. A greatexample is when

Ryan and Wilfred are

talking at a restaurant, and Wilfred is describing arelationship with a dog named Buck. Wilfred says,he knew him, but, bam, they lost touch. Saying“bam” made it sound to Ryan like Buck was runover by a car or killed in a similar, dramatic fashion,but to Wilfred the dog, “bam” just meant the exactmoment they lost touch.

Perhaps the main area where the dog jokesalready do not work is the idea that no one else cansee Wilfred in the manner that Ryan does. Theviewer sees three or four instances of this misun-derstanding just in the pilot, with Ryan having toreadjust to make up for what everyone else is see-ing. The scenes are never that funny, and the repe-tition just makes them less so.

“Wilfred” fits in well with FX’s other comedicofferings. It strikes that same raunchy, devil-may-care attitude of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,”with a dash of the lowbrow humor of “TheLeague.”

In the same way, while “Sunny” is brilliant and“The League” is horrible, “Wilfred” fits in the mid-dle as just all right. It’s worth a try, and if it grabsyou, “Wilfred” is a nice, vacuous distraction in themiddle of your television watching for the week.But “Wilfred” is nothing must-see.

‘Wilfred’ pleases, struggles with old tricks

THESPORTSPAGE Tuesday, August 9, 20116 • The Daily Beacon

Matt DixonSports Editor

A week into fall camp, one of Tennessee’s few returningstarters on defense is injured.

Senior defensive tackle Malik Jackson sprained his right kneeand will be out “only a couple of weeks,” according to UT coachDerek Dooley on Friday.

With Jackson out,along with linebackerHerman Lathers who’ssidelined with a brokenfoot, the Vols won’thave a returning starterfrom last season’s frontseven, a point Dooleyjoked about possiblybeing a good thing.

“We are now zeroout of seven, that’sright,” he said. “But weweren’t very good inthe front seven lastyear, so some peoplewould say that’s thebest news we’ve had allseason. Think about it.You heard that saying,‘The good news iswe’ve got everybodyback.’ The bad news iswe’ve got everybodyback.

“The bad news iswe’ve got zero out ofseven, the good news iswe’ve got zero out of seven. No, we want Malik back, and wewant Herman back. We want two out of seven.”

While losing Jackson for most of fall camp is a blow to adefense that has so many question marks right now, Dooleywants the team to spin it into a positive.

“Probably the most important thing we can do is learn howto endure and overcome adversity when it hits us, whether it’sin a game, in a practice or every day,” he said. “And that’s a signof a real mature football team. That’s going to be a real challengefor this team being so young that when bad things happen, howdo we handle it?”

One player who has matured this off-season is sophomorewide receiver Da’Rick Rogers.

“As a human, as a person, I’ve matured a lot,” he said. “I’vebuckled down withschool and just life ingeneral. Like CoachDooley said, the atti-tude outside shows alot on the in-here. Sowhen I have a goodattitude out there andthings are clicking, Iroll in here and it’sjust I’m playing foot-ball.”

Rogers said he andfellow sophomorereceiver Justin Hunterneeded to take on big-ger roles as leaders onthe team this yearnow that both of themare starters.

“It’s not just gettingserious and making ita business about us,”Rogers said. “We’vegot to get serious andmake it a businessabout the rest of our

team as well. Everybody wants to try and go to that next levelso I feel like as a team, us young guys, we’re not giving our sen-iors our all if we’re not buckling down and getting serious. Justlittle things like sitting in the front of special teams meetings.Last year, as a freshman, you sit in the back but nowadays you’vegot to step up ’cause we’re leaders now.”

Dontavis Sapp lunges forward during a drill at practice on Thursday, Aug. 4.

George Richardson • The Daily Beacon

Staff Reports

The EA SPORTS Maui Invitational, hostedby Chaminade University announced thebracket for the 28th edition of Basketball InParadise® Thursday. Tennessee is slated toface Duke on Monday, Nov. 21. Pending theoutcome of that day’s games, the Volunteerswill be matched up with either Memphis orMichigan on Tuesday, Nov. 22. All eight teamsalso will play a third game on Wednesday, Nov.23.

The EA SPORTSMaui Invitational hasput together arguablyits most challengingfield ever in 2011. Theopposite side of thebracket featuresperennial host schoolChaminade playingUCLA on the openingday of the“ C h a m p i o n s h i pRound,” whileGeorgetown squaresoff against Kansas.

This year’s bracketalso includes a newformat, which reflectsthe tournament’s firstexpansion since 1986.

“We are excited to kickoff the expansionwith such stellar matchups,” tournament chair-man David Odom said. “Expanding the tourna-ment provides more student-athletes, schoolsand conferences the chance to show their bestat the premier early-season college basketballtournament.”

The bracket format includes the traditionaleight-team, three-day event played at Maui’soceanfront Lahaina Civic Center duringThanksgiving week, which will now be knownas the EA SPORTS Maui InvitationalChampionship Round, and the eight participat-

ing teams playing in the Championship Roundare called the “Island Teams.”

With expansion comes four additionalDivision I teams known as the EA SPORTSMaui Invitational “Mainland Teams.” Each ofthe eight Island Teams (excluding Chaminade)will play one game against a Mainland Team —seven games in total — before traveling toMaui for the Championship Round. The fourMainland Teams are Belmont, MiddleTennessee, UNC Greensboro and Towson.

The Mainland Teams conclude their partic-ipation in the tournament by playing each

other in the“Regional Games”— a four-gameevent at MiddleT e n n e s s e e ’ sMurphy CenterNov. 19-20.

Tennessee’smainland oppo-nent is UNCGreensboro, andthat game takesplace Friday, Nov.11 at Thompson-Boling Arena.Tipoff time andtelevision cover-age for that con-test have yet to be

determined.The Nov. 21 clash with the Blue Devils

serves as a tiebreaker of sorts for both pro-grams, as the all-time series is deadlocked at 7-7, dating to the first meeting 100 years ago(Duke defeated the Vols 48-25 in Durham onFeb. 20, 1911). The programs have not metsince UT posted a 90-69 win at the Sugar BowlClassic in New Orleans, La., on Dec. 29, 1980.

The Volunteers previously competed in theEA SPORTS Maui Invitational in 2004, finish-ing fourth at the event after defeating Stanfordand falling to North Carolina and Texas.

Da’Rick Rogers participates in a drill during practice on Thursday,Aug. 4. Rogers looks to return for his sophomore season in a biggerrole as a starter alongside teammate and fellow sophomore receiv-er Justin Hunter.

George Richardson • The Daily Beacon

We are excited to

kick off the expansion

with such stellar

matchups.

– David Odom,Maui Invitational chairman,on the upcoming tournament ”“

Tennessee to face Duke in Maui

Jackson injured,Vols look to mature Staff Reports

After three days ofpractices with 14 USAteam finalists at the U.S.Olympic Training Center(USOTC) in ColoradoSprings, Colo., the official12-member 2011 USABasketball Women’s WorldUniversity Games Teamwas announced Wednesdaymorning by USABasketball and it includedTennessee Lady Vols GloryJohnson and ShekinnaStricklen.

The U.S. squad willlook to defend the USA'sgold medal at the 2011World University Games,Aug. 14-21 in Shenzhen,China, and it features tal-ented international veter-ans and some of thenation’s top collegians.

In addition to Johnsonand Stricklen, also namedto the 2011 USA WorldUniversity Games Teamwere Elena Delle Donne( D e l awa re / Wi l m i n g t o n ,Del.); Skylar Diggins(Notre Dame/South Bend,Ind.); Jacki Gemelos(USC/Stockton, Calif.);Keisha Hampton( D e P a u l / P h i l a d e l p h i a ,Pa.); Lynetta Kizer(Maryland/Woodbr idge ,Va.); Natalie Novosel(Notre Dame/Lexington,Ky.); Chiney Ogwumike( S t a n f o r d / C y p r e s s ,Texas); Nnemkadi

O g w u m i k e( S t a n f o r d / C y p r e s s ,Texas); Devereaux Peters(Notre Dame/Chicago,Ill.) and Odyssey Sims(Baylor/Irving, Texas).

“I am so excited forGlory and Shekinna,” saidUniversity of Tennesseehead coach Pat Summitt.“When they found out theyhad made the team, theyboth sent me texts and youcould feel the excitementjumping out of theirwords.

“This is a tremendousopportunity to put them ina leadership role and togain some valuable experi-ence they can share withtheir UT teammates. Iknow they will both bene-fit from a basketball stand-point but it is also a greateducational and cultural‘once in a lifetime’ experi-ence,” said Summitt.

The USA team willremain at the USOTC totrain through Aug. 7,before traveling toShenzhen for its finalWorld University Gamespreparations. The U.S.opens play on Aug. 14against Brazil, will faceSlovakia on Aug. 15 andcaps preliminary roundaction against GreatBritain on Aug. 16.Quarterfinals are slatedfor Aug. 18, medal semifi-nals will be played Aug. 19and the finals will be heldAug. 21.

Lady Vols duo named to USA team