The Auricle Vol 2 Edn 1

contents

CLINICAL EDITOR / DESIGNMichelle Li

PRE-CLINICAL EDITORRachel Chen

CONTRIBUTORSRose BrazilekRobert GilliesNathaniel HiscockDavid MathewLuke NelsonXiuxian PhamJocelyn ShanDaniel WeinMacrus Yip

ENQUIRIES& [email protected]

WEBSITEmonashauricle.wordpress.com

ON THE COVERStethoscope / Spygmomanometer

Artist: Mauro CatebPhotographer: Del Carmen letter from the editors

003

med student guide to eating free at hospital

004

clinical lessons i’ll never forget 006

the great unknown 009

retrospective: o-week011

what in the ward015

creative writing: i need you017

musig019

c&w021

good times023

Metamorphosis (Anonymous)

001

THE START OFSOMETHING NEW

‘What did you do on the weekend?’

Inevitably, every Monday in the lecture theatre or on the wards, we’re asked this simple question. It’s usually just another one of those throwaways, another ‘how are you’ tobeansweredwithareflexive‘good’,buthaveyouever stopped to wonder what exactly it was that you got up to?

Slept for 12 hours. Had lunch with friends. Shut yourself indoors for two days with only Underwood and Davidson for company. Bought groceries because your pantry was starting to look a bit like Harry’s cupboard under the stairs.

Sometimes we forget that there’s more to medicine than long hours, little sleep and lots of caffeine. There’s more to a work/life balance than remembering to do your laundry and answering (yet another) call from your mother.

So go out and watch that movie, attend that gig, explore that new pop-up bar down some strange laneway, eat out (of the house not of a takeaway container), have brunch, go on a date, check out a festival, have a one man dance party in your room or just make a cup of tea and relax.

Stress is a risk factor for everything. Right, Hassed?

Thanks to: our lovely contributors, free hospital lunches, cancelled morning lectures, PFEs and sweet, sweet coffee.

No thanks to: buses that don’t wait for you and InDesign (again).

xo Your Publications team, Rachel Chen & Michelle Li

FEATURE

There is no such thing as a free lunch, right? Wrong. This is a myth. In fact, the only certainty in life is that as a Med Student, you will be perpetually both hungry and poor. In recent years a shortage of viable free food available to students in the hospital has driven the evolution of a cunning and audacious scavenger. For savvy Med Students, those that are prepared to apply their strong work ethic to mastering the art of ‘free eating’ are finding that the world is their sandwich platter.

These are their methods.

The General Inspection

The General Inspection is a vital piece of any player’s arsenal, requiring a delicate balance of poise and sharp clinical reasoningtoexecutearapidandefficientassessment of the scene. Once a potential target is located, there is a need to quickly decide whether or not to invest in the assignment. This is termed the “Food or Flight” moment, and success is pinned on an astute, objective analysis of the environment in which the food is found. Beware the disgruntled guardian of the feast, or more powerful, hostile, and hungrier competitors. A wrong move at this preliminary stage may cause aggravation of a superior in the hospital hierarchy and see you permanently blacklisted from metropolitan hospitals, banished to rural Victoria for your internship years.

The Chameleon

A common technique used by hungry animals in nature is the employment of disguise and illusion – the ability to camouflage.Whenstalkinga h osp i ta lmeal, the laws of the jungle have never been more per t inent . Overly zealous rookies may forget to remove their fluorescent orange ‘Medical Student’ lanyards, an error which will inevitably result in a failure to thrive. The free feast isafiercelydefendedoasis,andtogainaccess you wil l need to adopt the mannerisms,confidence,andtoolso fthose for whom the feast was truly intended. Always carry a range of postgraduate resources, for example the DSM-IV at a psychiatry lunch, and also have at your disposal a change of clothing for every conceivable social situation.

Robert Gillies and Marcus Yip (IV)

004

The False Initiator

For those that stumble across unopened, wrapped platters. Whilst the guardian of the feast is momentarily absent, distracted by last minute duties, invite gathering strangers to commence eating anddeclaretheevent‘open’.Withenoughconfidence,bystanderswillnotthinktoquestionyourauthority, blinded by their own debilitating hunger. This will initiate a feeding frenzy, and after you haveenjoyedfirstaccesstothefood,asuccessfulgetawaycanusuallybeachievedundertheveil of the ensuing chaos. Answer a fake phone call before the feast’s caretaker has returned, and retreat into obscurity.

The Catch Me if you Can

With privilege comes responsibility, and with the Grand Round buffet comes the enthralling seminar that follows. Some enjoy the guilt-free option of eating and allowing a one-hour food coma to follow, aided by the lecturer’s incomprehensible, monotonic ramblings about new cytokine pathways recently discovered in anonymous mice studies. For others this option is literally too much to stomach, and a getaway must be made once the gorging is complete. Combine many tactics to avoid being caught by the watchful eye of the head consultant hosting the seminar: disguise, fake phone calls, novisibleidentificationdisplayedonyourperson,anddistractions.Beingfirstinthelineatthebeginningofthelunchisimperative,sothatyoucanfinishyourmealpromptlyandmakeanescapeduring the mayhem of mid-lunch.

The Hyena

As the sun begins to set after another long day at the hospital, keep an eye out for remnants of the day’s spoils abandoned in a lonely corridor. Like the carcass of a decaying wildebeest, i t is of ten possibletofindsourcesoffoodifyouarewillingtoscavengeandtakeyourchanceswithquestionabledeli meats.

Absolute Contraindications and Red Flags:

- Sticky food items (e.g. sweet and sour chicken) - Discarded diary (e.g. milk or blue cheese)-Morepeopleaheadofyouinthelinethanthereareediblesushiflavours- Gluten-free cookies (even if you have Coeliac disease) - A patrolling consultant declaring to students ‘there is no such thing as a free lunch, you know’

Heed these lessons and enjoy your future free lunches.

Victoria Berquist (III)

005

FEATURE

‘The cardiology lesson would be remembered; the life lesson wouldn’t.’

David Mathew (V) / Winner of Annual Article Competition

Five students gathered with their tutor around the patient. This one had a heart murmur, a rare one. The fivestudentsallhadexcitedlooksontheirfaces,waiting to detect this rarity. The tutor approached the patient.

“Could we all have a little listen to your heart? It won’t take long.”

The patient nodded. This had been the 4th group that day, but he acquiesced. First the tutor placed his stethoscope on the chest of the patient. Listened at the four valve sites. Asked the patient to inhale and exhale appropriately before ending off by listening to the carotids. Then gestured for the students to listen.

Thefirststudentsteppedup,introducedherself,andproceeded to listen. Her eyes squinted as she knew she heard something. She listened more carefully, and for ten seconds there was dead silence as she closed her eyes and pictured the murmur, the valve. Asked the patient to exhale, and hold it there. Another five seconds.Tocheckanddoublecheck.Shewassatisfied.

And then the next student approached. “Hi, I’m Jess. Just gonna have a quick listen yea.”

Another nod. The patient closed his eyes. He almost knew the routine. The student listened. Her face twitched as she heard the murmur. Now to seal the diagnosis.Shewasquickerthanthefirst.Aftertheinhaling and exhaling it was all over.

006

The third student did the same, then the fourth.

Andfinallythefifthstudentapproached.“Lastonehere.Justanotherquicklistenalright?”Itwasalmost a rhetorical question. One that needed no answering, yet the man nodded. A much slower and weaker nod.

The student, having watched the actions of his peers, could have well already known the diagnosis. A murmur heard best with the bell of the stethoscope in expiration at the mitral area could only be one thing.

He was the fastest. Placed his stethoscope on the chest right at where he thought he would hear it best and listened. He had no sign on his face that he’d heard something. But he performed the manoeuvers, and it was clear he had heard it. And he was done.

“All over Mr Jones. Thank you very much for this.”

He pulled down the patient’s shirt and covered his chest. The cardiology lesson was done. The murmur was heard, now to go away from the patient and discuss its causes, etiology, etc. But the life lesson wasn’t learnt yet. Here was a patient, a sick person, warded for mitral stenosis due to his past history of rheumatic fever. His mitral valve cusps had become so tight they had resulted in him having heart failure. And so he needed surgery. Surgery to keep him alive, for him to see his children grow up. Surgery to let him see another day.

The students didn’t know this, they didn’t know the fear in the patient; fear of the surgery, fear of whether he would see another day. All the students knew was that this was a rare murmur, and they wanted to hear it. Sharpen their skills, they thought.

But here was a man, a living story in which the murmur was only a tiny component. Alas, the story would never be known, unless a soul were to sit by his bed and hear him out. Actually listen, not just take a succinct medical history. This was a man, who smiled at the students’ request, who nodded every time they asked. This was a man whose smile and nod hid a lifetime of worry and anxiety. Worry and anxiety that needed listening to, not the heart murmur. The cardiology lesson would be remembered; the life lesson wouldn’t.

“So you went for your PET scan already. And you went for your chemotherapy as well?”

“Yes doctor. Chemotherapy 2 weeks ago and a PET scan two days ago. Are the results out already?”

“I think they might be, let me check.”

The doctor scrolled down the list of imaging in the records and a twinkle appeared in her eyes.

“Yes they are. Let me have a look at it and explain it to you.”

007

The doctor took an extraordinarily long look at it, which was rather strange for a consultant who would have spotted the diagnosis instantly. She changed the views and tilted the pictures. I would realise much later that the doctor was more preoccupied with how to break the news to the patient, rather than decoding the scan.

“So basically the PET scan is a test where we inject a dye - some radioactive stuff, which move to where there’re blood vessels. And the dye makes its way all around the body. And where it goes mostappearsblack.Soyoucanseefromthescanthatthesetwolittlethingsarefilledwithblack-referringtothekidneys-becausetheyremovethedye.Andyourwholebrainisfilledwith‘black’because it uses a lot of energy.”

The doctor shifted in her chair, thinking about her next sentence. It wasn’t one of the easiest things to say.

“But we also see that there are a few black spots in your chest, in the middle. They’re not supposed to be there. Now those are the cancer which has not gone away.”

The doctor paused a beat, waiting for a reaction. I didn’t see any change in the patient as the doctor lettheinformationsimmerandsettle.Andyetquickasaflash,thedoctorreachedfortheboxoftissues and handed it to the patient, just as she broke down. The patient’s right hand unconsciously grasped her husband’s limply. A tear squeezed out of her right eye. Reality had set in. “So we just do more chemotherapy right doctor? More of the chemo and it’ll be gone?” Anotherpauseasthedoctorcollectedherthoughts.Hereyes,stillfixedontothepatient’s,maintainedtheir steely composure despite the wealth of emotions in the room. It seemed like an eternity before the answer came.

‘I finally comprehended the complexities intertwined with the power of medical knowledge.’

“Unfortunately no my dear. We tried the chemo once and it didn’t help. How much we give wouldn’t matter in your case now. Yes, the cancer will reduce after the chemo, but it will not go away. It will be stagnant and then come back, come back more. So chemo is no use.” Again silence. The words took their time to settle. The sinew of hope left in the patient left sliced apart by the words.Infactnothingafterthefirstfivewordsentrenchedthemselvesintothepatient’smind.Thepatient was going to die, she now realised. And I, a mere observer, watched the doctor calmly proclaim the death sentence upon this innocent soul. This life which would be prematurely ended within the confines of a clinic - a place of supposed comfort. I watched as human emotions tried to comprehend the unthinkable. Sadness at the futility of the situation, grief at why this even happened. Yet even though I was unrelated, someone on the outside, my emotions synced in tandem with the general atmosphere. I watched the line between life and death crossed - and I would never be the same. All my life ‘death’ had always just been a word - an unfeeling, unreal print on a piece of paper. But as I watched death extract this much emotion from the depths of this human being, I finally comprehended the complexities intertwined with the power of medical knowledge. Power to, above all, take a life.

008

FEATURE

Rose Brazilek (II) / Runner-Up of Annual Article Competition

Watching the trepidatious first year medical students enter thehallowedhallsofbuilding15forthefirsttime,itishardnot to get swept up by their wide-eyed enthusiasm and innocentoptimism.Phrasessuchas“I’mdefinitelygoingto attend all the meetings of the Disney club” and “I don’t need to pre-read any lectures,” are often heard, phrases they may regret uttering so freely six months from now. However, it was not so long ago that many of us also opened a medical textbook, encountered a cadaver or calculated the exact time until an assignment could be re-submitted onTurn-It-Inforthefirsttimeeither.

In many ways, medical school in the pre-clinical years is more similar to high school than most of us will admit. We have our classes with the same people, eat lunch together at regular times (or perhaps attempt to study if exams are thefollowingweek)andevenhaveacampspecificallyformedical students, although high school camps probably did not involve the same overt levels of intoxication.

For most new students, the reality of the MBBS course differs widelyfrominitialimaginings.Insteadofencounteringspecificdiseases in our early years, we now learn meditation techniques, and anatomy classes are replaced by tutorials onthebasicsofepidemiology,atleastforthefirstsemester.

Like all university courses, medicine requires adjustments in learning styles, as learning becomes self-directed and students must learn how to find reputable sources of information and properly reference (helped in no small part by the myriad of assignments associated with improving these skills). Once the teacher was the fount of all knowledge,that role now falls to textbooks, journal databases and more often

009

than most would wish to admit, Wikipedia. The threat that the vast amount of content is still assessable, even if a lecture is skipped or slept through, is omnipresent. Though warned of the workload by friends, relatives and strangers in the street before entering thecourse,manystudentsstillfinditdifficulttoappreciatethe work involved in a medical degree until they begin and by the end of semester one, find they have a multitude of overdue quizzes, lectures to catch up on and assignments with due dates dangerously close.

Life in medical school also presents new challenges which are not present in other courses. Interacting withrealpatientsforthefirsttimeisadauntingexperience,made no less intimidating by the unfamiliar hospital surroundings and feeling of complete lack of knowledge or applicable skills. We also have the dreaded OSCEs and the terror they inspire, which is not fully comprehended untilthepracticeversionhalfwaythroughfirstyear.Studentsoftenfindtheyarebeingtestedontheonecondition they forgot to study, and in their anxiety put the stethoscope earpieces in backwards and deduce that the patient does not, in fact, have a heartbeat.

‘Life in medical school also presents

new challenges which are not present in

other courses.’

Socially, the transition to university life also has many differences, especially in terms of the freedom offered.Manystudentsarelivingawayfromhomeforthefirsttime,andareintentonmakingthemost of the lack of parental supervision or guidance. Events are generally organised by students, for students, and can involve events ranging from paintball to MedBall and anything in between. Students can make their university experience whatever they want it to be - f rom attending conferences, to becoming involved in ground-breaking research (or less than ground-breaking research), or simply meeting other like-minded people at the regular social events.

So,ifyouseeafirst-yearwhoisattemptingtomemorisethefindingsofeverystudyreferencedinProfessor Hassad’s lectures, or one who cannot work out the difference between the South One and S1 lectures theatres, give them a hand. It was not so long ago that we were all in the same position.

*

Victoria Berquist (III)

010

O-WEEK

O-Week & MedCamp Conveners’ ReportLuke Nelson and Jocelyn Shan (II)

MUMUS O-Week 2013 was a huge success, with all the usual fun events like the MUKEG Scavenger Hunt and MedFest, as well as a few new ones – MedCruise and an outing to BOUNCEinc! The weekkickedoffwithcountlesseagerfirstyearsmakingtheirwaytotheMUMUSstallattheHostScheme Carnival; many walked away happy with their new Monash Med jumpers and tickets tothe upcoming MedCruise. Futures Forum later in the day had an amazing turn out of over 190 students,completelyoverfillingthelecturetheatre,withsomehavingtoresorttosittingonthefloorto listen to the amazing speakers lined up – one of which was our very own president Harshan Jeyakumar. One of the speakers even stayed behind for afternoon tea following the forum in order to give out signed copies of her book to the new medical students.

The next night, after an exciting all-day scavenger hunt and MedFest, everyone headed to the docks toboardtheVictoriaStarintheirfireman/constructionworker/doctorcostumesforthe“WhenIGrowUp…”themedMedCruise.Thenightwasanunforgettableone,withdrinksflowingandmusicpumping.Eventheweatherdecidingtoplayniceforthefirsttimethatweek.

011

Later, we had the International and Interstate Students Forum, which many first years recognised as an invaluable opportunity to meet other non- local students. They expressed gratitude for what they believe to be an extremely informative session.

OnThursday,afterafewdramaswiththeWildfireBBQ and the rain, we managed to herd everyone onto the buses for the last social outing of the week – BOUNCEinc! The venue was hired out exclusively for the new medical cohort to bounce and play trampoline dodgeball as much as they wanted for an hour. It was ridiculous fun, and it turns out that going crazy on trampolines, diving into foam pits and throwing balls at each other is the best ice breaker we have discovered yet–manyfirstyearswalkedawayfromthathour chatting excitedly to each other and even swapping contact details.

The last MUMUS event of O-Week, after Transition Camp ended on Saturday night, was another new initiative: the Free Slurpies and Q&A Session. We kept the setup quite casual, with just a fewrepresentativesfromMUMUSandvariousclubsandsocietiesfloatingaroundtoaddressanyquestionsthathadbeenleftunanswered.WildfireservedanexcellentBBQonceagain.

Overall, we’d say O-Week this year was an amazing success. Not only that, but it was the best fun to organise and be a part of! Many thanks to everyone who helped out, particularly Harshan Jeyakumar (President),EdO’Bryan(SocialVP)andtheentireWildfireteam.

MUKEG Convener’s ReportNathaniel Hiscock (IV)

Struggling out of their warm beds on the cold and rainy Tuesday morning of O-Week, many brave firstyearsovercametheeffectsofafewtoomanychoicebeveragesattheHostSchemepartythenight before to embark upon a quest for power and glory as part of the AMSA/MUKEG Scavenger Hunt.

Or, put more simply, they accepted the opportunity to photograph themselves doing embarrassing tasks, only to post them on Facebook. Oh, how they’ll learn. These brave MedKnights pushed on throughthedownrightmiserableweathertofindandproposetotheirtruelove,storm(orflirttheirway into) the swipe card protected post grad lounge and then capture, bind and gag a prisoner before dumping them in the boot of a stranger’s car never to be seen again… with the prisoner’s consent, of course.

012

Along the way, they noted and documented many odd occurrences: strange orange men, a great deal of sunscreen suspiciously covering the faces of our unsuspecting MedKnights and Knightettes, and some modern student art that led our heroes to draw parallels between arts degrees and toilet paper.

At long last, the various fellowships arrived at their destination of MedFest simultaneously exhausted and enthused, but in the end there could only be one group to rule them all. Proving to be the most astute of mind, courageous in the face of strangers and determined to do all the petty things well THE UTERI showed themselves tobefineambassadorsforthefemaleurogenitalsystem.

Thank you to all who participated and I look forward to seeing everyone having the time of their lives at AMSA CONVENTION 2013 on the Gold Coast!

--MUKEG Dicktator

Also comes in Honours 3-ply.

Victoria Berquist (III)

013

ThefirstafternoonofO-Week2013sawovertwohundredenthusiasticfirstyearMBBSstudentsdescend upon an ambient (read: stinking hot) lecture theatre to hear from some of the higher medicalprofilesinAustraliansociety.Thisforumaimedtodisplaytoourmostjuniorcolleaguesthewonderful, often neglected diversity available as a medical professional after graduating – not everyone needs to be a cardiothoracic surgeon (and with the advent and development of percutaneous valve repairs, maybe we won’t need too many…)! For nearly three hours, the lucky students benefitedfromthepearlsofwisdomof(including,butnotlimitedto):

Pre-ClinicalAcademic ReportDaniel Wein (II)

Professor John MurtaghGeneral practitioner extraordinaire, the man who has, quite literally, ‘written the book’ on general practice. Professor Murtagh emphasized the importance of having broadly trained GPs in rural areas, iterating the pivotal nature of being able to treat, or manage the symptoms of, a spectrum of conditions in the country.

Professor Jeffrey Rosenfeld The Derek Shepherd of The Alfred - paediatric neurosurgeon,highestrankedmedicalofficerinthe army reserves, expert musician. This world renowned doctor spoke of maintaining extra-curricular interests throughout one’s medical career, and of the inauspicious nature of sacrificinginnatepassionsinordertodevoteextraneous time to one’s career.

Professor Mike Toole Professor of Public Health at The Burnet Institute.

Dr Sean Davies Provided a fascinating, engaging account of an intense surgical rotation in the notorius Bara hospital in South Africa.

Dr Ranjana Srivastava Monash graduate, media personality, full time mother and part time medical oncologist and general physician. Touched on the necessity of balancing commitment to f a m i l y whi lst dedicatingsufficienttimetoensureaprosperouscareer, as well as encouraging all budding female surgeons to pursue any career they feel an intrinsic pull towards, regardless of what may be perceived as a dissuading balance of male:female carpenters out there.

Dr Ashleigh Witt What is there to say about this blonde bombshell? Spoke fantastically about the progression through medical school, and light-heartedly joked about a poor kid who she had interviewed.

Mr Harshan Jeyakumar Delivered a fine address, in true presidential style, about the top HJ tips to surviving medicine. Subliminally promoted Liverpool FC to all attending students, unfortunately none of them took the bait.

A fantastic and memorable afternoon was had by all, despite the sweltering conditions. Fortunately, many students were able to dismiss all thoughts of career pursuit the following night on MedCruise!

014

HUMOUR

(1) Acute Care Surgery: Trauma to Face

33-year-old male seen walking naked around Prahran, before breaking into a stranger’s house, putting on her clothes and sleeping in her bed. Police were called. Patient was very verbally and physically aggressive. Presented with bleeding left head laceration. GCS 10.

(2) General Surgery: Foreign Object Removal

26-year-old male presented with obstruction of the spongy urethra following insertion of a single AA battery. Patient reports ‘putting it in too far’ and multiple failed attempts at extraction. During surgery, the forceps separated the cap of the battery from the body; object was abruptly removed uponleakageofbatteryfluidintotheurethralcavity.Patientrecovered with no complications and no regrets.

(3) Outpatient: Code Blue

76-year-old male found semi-collapsed in the hospital walkway, reporting headache, full right-sided paraesthesia and inability to walk or stand. Upon the student not knowing what number to use, a passing neurosurgery registrar was flaggeddown,whopromptlycalledacodeblue(astheman was not an inpatient). Entire emergency department and several intensivists rushed to the scene, shock carts were prepared and observations were recorded—however, it eventuated that the patient simply had chronic pain in his right leg and was exaggerating his symptoms. As a consultant somewhere says, better to overdo it then underdo it.

COMMONTHINGSOCCUR

COMMONLY

UNCOMMONTHINGSoccur

strangely

015

creative

“You know what your problem is?”

“No.”

“You have an addiction.”

“No I don’t.”

“You’re addicted. You’re addicted to hurt people. Damaged people.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are. Damaged people like me.”

He closes his eyes and sighs inwardly. “You’re not damaged.”

“Yes I am, and that’s why I’m here. And that’s why you’re here. That’s why we’re here in this mess.”

“We’re not in a mess.” He stands up and moves to the kitchen, with a half-hearted hope of shaking her off.

“Yesweareandyouknowit,”herpersistent,naggingvoicefloatsthrough.Hehearsherfootstepsbehindhim.“You’readdictedtodamagedpeople,untilwe’refixed,oruntilwenolongerneedyou.Thenwe’rejustdollstothrowaside.Thenyoufindyournextvictim.”

He slams his hand on the kitchen counter and turns around. “What the hell are you on about? What has this got to do with anything?”

Sheflinchesathisraisedvoice,butcontinuesstandingatthedoorway,staringathimcoolly.Notat him, into him, like she’s reading him. But she knows nothing, he thinks to himself, nothing about me. Nothing at all. He slumps back against the counter and runs his hands through his hair. He closes his eyes, trying to be composed.

“Look, I’m sorry. It’s been a long day. I’m tired. I’m sick of all this.” He looks up at her, meeting her gaze. “What happened to us? Why can’t we just be how we were before?”

017

“I stopped needing you, that’s what.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I stopped needing you. I was a mess when we met, wasn’t I? Addicted to the drink. Slowly killing myself with alcohol. An abusive life. I was a classic textbook case screaming for help. I needed someone, anyone, to save me from myself. You, the white knight in shining armour, took me in and turned me around. Remember how amazing those early days used to be? Lying in bed in the darkness, me, pouring out my hurt and wants and desires, and you, soaking it all up, breathing it in like air. It was sustenance to you. You needed me as much as I needed you.”

He turns on the kettle and closes his eyes. He realises he is deeply exhausted. An empty, blank fatigue.

“Everything, your whole life, it’s all about feeling needed. Having someone rely on you. They can’t live without you. And you can’t live without them. You’re the centre of their universe, the only thing holding it all together.”

The kettle murmurs, whispers, louder and louder, becoming a whistle.

“Your whole career. Oncology. Cancer. Such a noble pursuit, isn’t it? But I’ve seen you at work. I’ve seen you when you get home. You relish it. The emotional burden. The part where you break the bad news. It gives you an adrenaline rush doesn’t it, watching their whole world change. Shatter. The point where their life falls apart, and you’re there to witness it. To offer them hope.” She laughs. “It’s all a sham. You couldn’t give a damn about them.” She laughs again, with a trace of hysteria.

The kettle screeches to boiling point, melding with her laughter, turning into one shrill shriek.

The switch clicks. The shrieking bubbles down to a mumble.

“Love.” Her voice softly hovers in the air. “What’s love to you? You fall in and out of it with your patients all the time. But you’re not actually in love with them. Never have, never will be. You don’t love me. You know, deep down inside you, you don’t feel a thing. There’s an emptiness. You seek outtheirneeds,theirwants,tofillyourselfwithsomething.”

He senses her move closer to him. He could feel her breath, warm against his neck.

“It’s over.”

A whisper. Gentle. Almost tender.

‘Oncology. Cancer. Such a noble pursuit,

isn’t it?’

018

subcomittees

W - Since 2009.W - At a clinical school / anatomy lab near you!Q - Top notch.Q - Ever expanding.A - There’s nothing quite like the promise of surgery to wake you up for that 6.30am ward round...A - Pure joy.B - Heal with steel.

Since its conception in 2009, MUSIG has grown considerably. Its committee now comprises two teams, preclinical and clinical, and workshops have been expanded to include most of the clinical sites. AsoneofthemostprolificsurgicalinterestgroupsinAustralia,MUSIGisheretosparkyourcuriosityin all things surgery - after all, curiosity may have killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back…

Recent speaker nights:April 17th (C1) - The Great Debate: Surgery vs. Medicine

(with the Careers Subcommittee)

Torn between surgery and medicine? Come along for a night of humorous banter, the odd controversy, and words of wisdom from the doctors who have helped shape what medicine and surgery is today.

Professor Bruce WaxmanColorectal surgeon (Dandenong Hospital) / Monash Graduate / A/Prof & Director, Academic

Surgical Unit, Southern Clinical School / Board member of the Royal Flying Doctor Service (VIC

Mr Aubrey AlmeidaCardiothoracic surgeon /

Subspecialist in robotic heart surgery (MMC, Epworth,

Jessie Mac)

A/Prof Kate DrummondNeurosurgeon (Royal Melbourne

Hospital) / Subspecialist in neurosurgical oncology

(Harvard) / Director of Jun-ior Surgical Training (Royal

Melbourne Hospital)

019

Upcoming Preclinical Events:•Semester1basicsurgicalskillsworkshop•Semester2basicsurgicalskillsworkshop•YearAbasicsurgicalskillsworkshop

Upcoming Clinical Events:•SurgicalMasterclass(TheRoyalAustralasianCollegeofSurgeons)•Skillsworkshop(MMC)•Traumaworkshop(BendigoHospital)•Skillsworkshop(TheAlfred)•Skillsworkshop(MilduraHospital)

Keep sharp and like our Facebook page for all the latest news and events!

May the forceps be with you,

Hannah & Sarah MUSIG Co-chairs 2013

Victoria Berquist (III)

Victoria Berquist (III)

020

subcomittees

World’s Greatest Shave

It was a gloomy, cloudy afternoon of 28th of March when MUMUS C&W held the World’s GreatestShave.Luckily,theweatherdidn’treflectthehighspiritsofthemedstudentsasmanylineduptograb a free snag, savour the atmosphere of a fast approaching Easter and enjoy the sights and sounds of their fellow classmates colouring their hair and being brave enough to shave for the Leukaemia Foundation!

Almost $1100 was raised and a big shout-out goes to Victor Zhang (who also had to wear a pink robe and bra for the next week), James Williams and Eric Aizenstros for shaving.

021

Royal Children’s Hospital Good Friday Appeal

Some may claim that chocolate is the best part of Easter. However 50+ medical students got out of their comfortable bed to tin-shake in their scrubs. At the end of everyone’s amazing efforts, we raised $11,000! Thanks to everyone who contributed and if you missed out, we will be holding more tin-shaking events in the near future so look out for us!

022

events

Year IV // Welcome Back PFE

Date: Friday 8th March 2013Venue: Spice Market

On a warm breezy Friday evening a long line of university students stood just off Russell Street, eagerly waiting to enter the charming and illustrious Spice Market on Beaney :ane. Upon reaching the front of the queue, they were guided by one of the few tall, ravishing hostesses to the exclusive Cico lounge that could be accessed only by people on the Monash University guest list. Thegroupenjoyedwood-firedpizzaanddrinkcardsthatallowedthemtoaccesstheMonashbartab. As the music blared and the venue started to become more populated, many busted a move or two, and some even dared to groove on the bird’s cage pedestal.

Photos: Chavy Arora and Jason Kwok

023

024

Year V // End of Rotation PFE

Date: Friday 8th March 2013Venue: New Guernica

Therewouldbeadescriptionofthegeneralshenanigansthatwentdownthisnight,butfifthyearsare a busy and stressful bunch, what with internship applications just around the corner. Understandably, not many remember exactly what happened (and they wouldn’t have the time to write anything, anyway).

Photos: Basilie Teoh

025

Only the best of care, since 1977

Thousands of medical professionals choose Doctors’ Health Fund for better cover, better extras and better value

Smart Starter provides good entry level hospital cover at an affordable price

Prime Choice is as good as the top cover of other health funds, but at very competitive premiums

All of our hospital products include national ambulance cover for both emergency and medically necessary ambulance services

Great value extrasNo preferred providers, you choose the provider to treat you

100% paid dental check ups twice a year

$500 optical benefits over two years

Join the health fundcreated just for

YOU

*Avant will subsidise 15% of your Doctors' Health Fund private health insurance premiums for the �rst 12 months, provided that you join Doctors' Health Fund by June 30, 2013. The o�er is only open to Avant members who are eligible to join the Doctors' Health Fund restricted access group as set out in the Schedule to the Private Health Insurance (Registration) Rules 2009 (No 2) (Cth). The o�er is not open to Avant members who are already Doctors' Health Fund private health insurance policy holders as at October 31, 2012. This o�er is made by Avant and not by the Doctors' Health Fund and this o�er does not apply to any other products or services issued or provided by Avant or its related bodies corporate. For full Terms & Conditions, please refer to www.doctorshealthfund.com.au.**Sports pack available to new members who join Doctors’ Health Fund by May 31, 2013. For full Terms & Conditions, please refer to www.doctorshealthfund.com.au

There's never been a better time to switch to Doctors’ Health Fund. Join today at www.doctorshealthfund.com.au or call us on 1800 226 126.

Join Doctors’ Health Fund today and get

FFyour first year’s premiums* for Avant members

+FREE sports pack!**

An Avant Company