The Attitude Program – Workbookprevenirpourmieuxvivre.com/.../uploads/AttitudeProgram-EN-Workboo… · The Attitude Program – Workbook prevenirpourmieuxvivre.com 3 CHAPTER2: How

The Attitude Program – Workbook

prevenirpourmieuxvivre.com 1

INTRODUCTION

What dreams do I cherish most?

Left-Brained or Right-Brained?

Are you more inclined to approach life with your right brain or left brain? Explain.



CHAPTER 1: Why Attitudes Matter

My Feelings 1. Write down all of the feelings you experienced when reading the stories of the two Johns.

2. Do some of your days look like that? Do you identify with one of the Johns? If so, which one? Do you alternate between these two characters, depending on the day? Explain using examples from your daily life.



CHAPTER 2: How Our Attitudes Impact Our Lives Identify how your attitude currently impacts your life. Aspects of Life Impacts Personal

□ High stress level □ Increased risks of physical/mental health problems □ Fatigue and sleep problems □ Financial problems □ Balanced life □ Good mood and infectious enthusiasm □ Low risk of stress-related problems □ Good finances □ Other: _____________________________________________________

Professional

□ Bad work environment and reduced productivity □ Feelings of frustration, impatience, and hostility □ Social isolation □ Complaints from clients and colleagues □ Frequent sick days □ Job loss □ Better collaboration and teamwork □ Increased productivity □ Fewer or no sick days □ Possibility of promotion □ Other: _____________________________________________________

Social

□ Social isolation □ Loss of friendships □ Loss of bearings and decreased sense of community □ Fun to be around □ Keeps in touch with social network □ Invited to social events □ Other: _____________________________________________________

Family

□ Instills fears and negative beliefs to children □ Emotionally absent with children □ Trustworthy authority figure for children □ Emotionally present for children □ Other: _____________________________________________________

Romantic

□ Lack of intimacy and sexual relations □ Poor communication □ Frequent conflicts □ Harmonious relationship □ Healthy communication □ Respectful of others □ Other: _____________________________________________________



CHAPTER 3: How Attitudes Come to Be Feeling My Thoughts 1. Close your eyes and visualize the following scenario: You’ve just gotten back home after going for a run on a really hot day. Your body is perspiring and needs to be hydrated. Still short of breath, you head to the fridge and see a nice cold milk container (if you don’t like milk, do this exercise with your favorite beverage). You know it will be refreshing, you lick your lips just thinking about it! Nobody’s around, so you decide to drink straight from the container. You close your eyes, open your mouth, bring the opening to your lips, and wait for the cold, white liquid to reach your mouth. It finally touches your tongue, but you realize it has an acidic taste and you can feel lumps in your mouth. You automatically spit it out with disdain. 2. Spend two minutes or less thinking about a happy event that you’ve already experienced. Go back and imagine being once again in the same place to relive it: see, hear, taste and feel all of it. Experience the emotions that you felt back then as if you were there now. Name this event: __________________________________________________________ 3. What were your thoughts associated with these events? Exercise 1 Exercise 2 What did you feel in your body during the exercises? Exercise 1 Exercise 2



My values Here are two lists of personal and professional values and needs. Identify those that are important to you.

c Accomplishment c Adventure c Affection c Arts c Authenticity c Autonomy c Balance c Challenges c Commitment c Communication c Community c Competence c Control Over One’s Life c Cooperation c Creativity c Customer Satisfaction c Democracy c Discovery c Education c Efficiency c Environmental Awareness c Equality / Fairness c Excellence c Faithfulness c Family c Financial Security c Freedom c Friendship c Getting Results c Gratitude / Recognition c Harmony c Honesty c Humor c Improvement c Independence c Integrity c Joyfulness c Justice c Knowledge c Leadership

c Love c Loyalty c Mind-Openness c Nature c Order and Cleanliness c Patriotism c Peace & Tranquility c Perfection c Personal Development c Physical/Emotional Security c Pleasure c Positive Attitude c Power c Privacy c Professionalism c Punctuality c Quality of Work c Reliability c Reputation c Resourcefulness c Respect c Rewarding Work c Selflessness c Sensitivity c Serenity c Sharing c Simplicity c Spirituality/Religion c Strength c Success c Teamwork c Tolerance c Tradition c Transparency c Trust c Usefulness c Variety c Volunteering c Wisdom



My Needs

c Acceptance c Appreciation c Authenticity c Autonomy c Beauty c Being Important c Belonging c Celebration c Challenge c Choice c Clarity c Comfort c Community c Compassion c Connection c Consideration c Contribution c Creativity c Diversity c Empathy c Equality c Expression c Food and Water c Freedom c Happiness c Harmony c Having Fun c Health c Human Contact c Humor c Inclusion c Independence c Initiative c Inspiration

c Integration c Integrity c Intellectual Stimulation c Interdependence c Learning c Listening c Love c Mourning c Movement c Order c Peace c Peace of Mind c Play c Pleasure c Physical Security c Presence c Protection c Purpose in Life c Reciprocity c Respect c Rest c Security c Sense of Meaning c Sexual Expression c Shelter c Space c Spiritual Expression c Stability c Support c Touch c Trust c Understanding c Wellbeing

My Beliefs Here’s a list of beliefs that can be conscious or unconscious along with the results these beliefs can bring into your life. You can read the table in two ways:

1. From left to right: if you’re aware of these beliefs in your life, you’ll identify the results they can bring.

2. From right to left: if you’re aware of certain results in your life, you can become conscious of possible underlying beliefs.



Beliefs Possible Consequences I was born to be poor

c Financial difficulties and insecurity c Unsatisfactory employment c General dissatisfaction

Life’s tough

c Frequent obstacles in life c Incapable of achieving goals c Feelings of apathy c Self-sabotage

I can’t trust anybody

c Difficulty to relate c Missed business opportunities c Relationship conflicts c Feeling betrayed

I'm not smart

c Low education level c Immature and naive behavior c Feeling rejected c Lack of confidence c Low self-esteem

Rich people are stingy and pretentious

c Financial difficulties c Inability to achieve goals c Missed business opportunities c Unable to launch a business

Everyone’s a liar and a hypocrite

c Difficulty to relate c Frequently deceived and betrayed

Lucky at cards, unlucky in love

c Failed relationships c Unsatisfying love life c Professional success

We can’t do what we want in life

c Incapable of achieving goals c Missed business opportunities c Unable to launch a business c Dissatisfaction at work c Feelings of not having a choice c Victim behavior c Unhealthy romantic relationships c General dissatisfaction c Lack of self-respect

I am not lovable and will never find a life partner

c Feeling rejected c Isolation c Difficulty or inability to relate c Multiple romantic failures c Defensive behavior in relationships c Compensating with various addictions c Lack of confidence c Low self-esteem



Beliefs Possible Consequences I won’t get anywhere in life I always do everything wrong

c Multiple failures c Incapable of achieving goals c Making the wrong choices c Lack of confidence c Low self-esteem

In life, you can’t have everything

c Financial problems c General dissatisfaction c Deprivation c Victim behavior c Feelings of not having a choice

I must be nice if I want to be loved I’m selfish if I think about me

c Betraying one’s true feelings by displaying false joyfulness c Always meeting the needs of others before your own c Exhaustion c Lack of self-respect

Real men don’t cry

c Inhibiting emotions c Bursts of anger c Various physical ailments c Over-rationalization (logical analysis) c Frigidity and stringency c Lack of self-respect

Being angry isn’t good

c Not expressing emotions (unchanging attitude) c Sadness c Avoiding emotional situations and conflicts c Lack of self-respect

My mother (or father) didn’t love me

c Doing everything to please others (and be loved) c Projection of this lack on life partner or children c Fear of rejection c Avoiding and ignoring emotions c Various physical ailments c Emotional dependence

My parents abandoned me and left me in the care of foster homes

c Fear of abandonment c Emotional dependence c Fear of commitment c Various addictions c Feeling inadequate

Life is meant to be serious

c No joyfulness c Absence of pleasure c Being very responsible c Prioritizes doing over being



My Inner Dialogue and Beliefs 1. Become aware of your inner dialogue with the following questions:

- What do I continually think about? - What is something I always insist on? - Does this seem to have an impact on my life? - What are the adjectives that I use most often to describe myself? - How do I perceive my life? Am I happy? - Can I give concrete examples?

2. What negative thoughts and beliefs do you have about yourself or use in your inner dialogue? 3. What fears are conveyed by these false beliefs? 4. What needs go unfulfilled because of these fears?



5. Take all of your negative thoughts and beliefs listed in Question 2 and rephrase them into positive beliefs. For example:

Limiting Belief Helpful Belief I’m no good, I can’t do well in school. I can succeed, I’ve proven it with

Project XYZ in the past.

My Life Story 1. Imagine your life story if anything were possible, then write it down. Imagine there are no restrictions in terms of money, time, or health. Describe your life using positive terms, in the present tense. 2. Next, determine the actions you’ll have to take to turn this life into reality.

Limiting Belief Helpful Belief



CHAPTER 4: The Laws that Govern Our Attitudes

My Flow of Thoughts Observe your external environment (your home, friends, job, family, health, finances, etc.) and ask yourself the following questions:

- Am I happy? Am I satisfied? - Are there obstacles I can’t seem to get around? - Do the same problems and situations keep coming up in my life? - How’s my physical health? How’s my sanity? - How good is my sleep? How healthy are my relationships? - On a scale of 1 (poor) to 10 (excellent), how would I rate my happiness level?



Sorting My Thoughts When a repetitive thought appears in your mind, use the left side of your brain to rationalize it and observe its veracity. Get rid of what is no longer needed. Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is this thought supported by actual, irrefutable facts? 2. Have I already had this same thought during past events? If so, what were those

events? 3. Does my reaction seem like that of an adult or a child? 4. Is this thought the result of something I heard during my childhood or something that

my parent(s) or other people around me have said? 5. What context were those words voiced in? 6. Was the person who voiced that opinion tired? Sick? 7. Did I hear all sides of that story? 8. Do I agree with those words? 9. How do I feel? (Refer to the Emotion Vocabulary table) 10. Is this thought still appropriate for me today, based on the person I’ve become?



The Need to Choose... When you have an important decision to make, take the time to experience (in silence) the various options that are open to you. 1. Write each of your possible choices down. 2. Calm your mind and body by focusing on your breathing: inhale and exhale deeply until a

sense of wellbeing fills you. 3. Once calm, think about Option A.

- Give it a name. - Visualize yourself living your life as if you had already chosen this option. - Feel your emotions and the sensations you have in your body right now. - Imagine yourself living with this decision for the next six months. Then, fast-forward to

two years from now, then five years from now, or even more, as needed. Are you still feeling the same sensations and emotions?

- Record these observations on the first sheet of paper.

4. Repeat the same exercise with each of your other options.

Option A

Option B Option C

6 months

1 year

2 years

5 years



CHAPTER 5: Obstacles in the Creative Process Blast from the Past... 1. To become aware of your unconscious emotional blockages, you must first identify the moments and situations when you feel painful emotions and sensations in your body. Ask yourself the following questions:

- What painful emotion(s) am I feeling right now? (refer to Emotion Vocabulary table) - What is the event that gave rise to this emotion?

2. Next, step back in time and identify other times when you’ve felt the same emotion(s).

- What other events in my past have made me experience the same emotion(s)? 3. Take the time to heal the injury you’ve identified using a method of your choice. My Fears

1. Write down all your fears and limiting beliefs, without censorship, as indicated in The Attitude Program.

2. Reread these fears as many times as needed, using various styles, as you see fit. 3. Eliminate your fears using one of the methods listed in The Attitude Program.



MY FEARS…



If I Wasn’t Scared Read the following lines and complete the sentences intuitively, without listening to your inner dialogue, which may be limiting. 1. If I wasn’t scared, I'd do..., I'd be..., I'd say..., I'd think..., etc. 2. If I were going to die soon, I’d do the following activities, I’d take the following actions, and I’d say the following words before leaving this world… Am I a Pathological Worrier? Answer the following questions using one of these: Not at all = 0 point A little bit = 1 point Not really = 2 points Mostly true = 3 points Totally = 4 points I worry because...

c I can’t assert myself or express my opinions. c My future job prospects aren’t good. c I don’t reach the goals I set for myself. c I will never catch up at work. c Financial difficulties will limit my travels and vacation plans. c I can’t concentrate. c I can’t buy everything I want to have. c I don’t feel safe. c I can’t pay my bills. c My living conditions are inadequate. c Life has no meaning. c I don’t work hard enough. c Others won’t approve of me. c It's hard for me to have a stable relationship. c I lack self-confidence. c I will lose friends that are dear to me. c I'm not sexy or attractive. c I sometimes act like an idiot or a fool. c I haven’t done much with my life. c I make mistakes at work.

Consult The Attitude Program for results and advice on how to overcome anxiety.



My Technology Time

Make note of the time you spend using various technologies each day. After one week, look back and analyze it, and then make decisions and take actions that will help you increase your likelihood of success in achieving your goals.

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday

hours hours hours hours hours hours hours

Total hours: ____________ My Creative Blockages

Using the list included in The Attitude Program to guide you, identify the obstacles that prevent you from creating your intentions and reaching your goals. List them in order of importance.



CHAPTER 6: Recommended Attitudes for Reaching Goals Relationship Cleanup

- Go through all important relationships in your life (family, friends, colleagues, boss, neighbors, etc.) Enter their names (or initials/codenames) in the left column.

- Assign a grade to each based on the benefits they bring into your life (wellbeing, support, fun, etc.) on a scale of 0 to 100% and enter that number in the second column (100: numerous benefits; 0: no benefits).

- Think about how much each person costs in terms of energy (obligations, duties, discomfort, inconvenience, etc.) according to the same scale ranging from 0 to 100% (100: large drain; 0: no energy drain at all).

- Calculate the difference and enter the result in the next column. - In the last column, determine if each relationship is healthy or toxic.

CODE OR NAME BENEFITS

(%) COSTS

(%) DIFFERENCE

( + OR - ) TOXIC/HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

My Lifestyle 1. What physical activities do I want to practice weekly? 2. What changes do I wish to make in my diet? 3. What downtimes and fun activities do I want to add to my daily life?



4. What actions need to be taken to improve or maintain my network of friends? 5. What relaxation methods will I continue to practice or add to my schedule? 6. What steps do I need to follow in order to make these changes come true? Better Time Management Skills

1. What activities do I tend to postpone? 2. What reasons do I use to justify postponing these activities? 3. What activities (that I don’t currently do) could, if I did them regularly, bring a positive change in my life?



4. Make a list of all the activities I need to do and prioritize them according to their importance (A-, B-, C-, or D-list).

Activity A, B, C, or D

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.



My Attitudes - Determine the five attitudes that you wish to adopt in order to achieve your life goals more easily. - For each of these attitudes, list the activities you’ll have to complete to facilitate their integration.

Attitude Actions

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Take action by gradually completing your planned activities.



CHAPTER 7: Attitude Metamorphosis My Situation 1. Using this pie chart, color the appropriate portion of each section to match your current satisfaction level in all aspects of your life.

2. List the unsatisfactory elements in each aspect of your life.

3. Become aware of the negative attitudes that have created these various unsatisfactory situations in various aspects of your life. Name them and estimate the number of years you’ve had these attitudes by determining the age at which they appeared.

4. These negative attitudes hide your unmet needs. Take each of the attitudes you’ve listed in Question 3 and determine what unmet need(s) is camouflaged behind each attitude.



5. Identify the protection mechanism that this attitude conceals. Refer to the Common Defense Mechanism Table. My Life Intentions 1. What are my intentions and goals in life? 2. Imagine life as if anything were possible. What do I want my future reality to look like? Describe it. 3. Create five main intentions for the coming year (or shorter/longer term, if desired) using the following questions:

- If I could only focus on one thing in my life or prioritize only one goal, what would it be? - If I could add a second thing, what would it be? - A third... - A fourth... - A fifth…



Being, Doing, and Having 1. Look back at the five aspects of your life and name your intentions and life goals. 2. Write down everything you want to be, do, and have.

BE DO HAVE 6 MONTHS

1 YEAR

2 YEARS

5 YEARS

10 YEARS

Action! Take your five main goals and list all of the things you’ll need to do to turn them into reality.

Intention Actions Deadline 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

The Attitude Program – Workbookprevenirpourmieuxvivre.com/.../uploads/AttitudeProgram-EN-Workboo… · The Attitude Program – Workbook prevenirpourmieuxvivre.com 3 CHAPTER2: How

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