The Advocate, Issue 22 - Apr. 1, 2016

“Artists are the voice for people who can’t speak.” - Roushan PAGE 5

Letter from the EditorPAGE 3

Wilting in the Rose GardenPAGE 5

“Salmon-Man” wrecks steeplechasePAGE 8

Abumpin the Road

PAGE 3

theadvocateAp

ril 1

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6 Independent Student Voice of JCC Volume 51 Issue 22

A new round of polls show the general obligation bond losing steam; MHCC decides to pull the plug, and a needed donation leads to a name change

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Web photo

NEWS PAGEPAGEA p r i l 1 , 2 0 1 6 3

Editor-in-ChiefAdam Elwell

Associate EditorHayden Hunter

Arts+Entertainment EditorIvy Davis

News Editor Gloria Saepharn

Sports Editor Clay Vitale

Graphic Designers Cody HolcombeAyla Buckner

Photo Editor Nick Pelster

Opinion Editor Adam Elwell

Public Relations Manager Emily Wintringham

Features EditorJon Fuccillo

Video Editor Chuck Masi

Video Team Members

Kristina Dawn

Ad ManagerJoseph Frantz

Assistant Ad ManagerLondon Howell-Farley

Copy Editor Greg Leonov

Staff WritersNicole KaadiMonique MallariGlenn Dyer

Web EditorMatana McIntire

AdvisersHoward BuckDan Ernst

The Advocate encourages readers to share their opinion by letters to the editor and guest columns for publication.

All submissions must be typed and include the writer’s name and contact information. Contact information will not be printed unless requested. Original copies will not

be returned to the author. The Advocate will not print any unsigned submission. Letters to the editor should not

exceed 300 words and guest columns should not exceed 600. The decision to publish is at the discretion of the editorial board. The Advocate reserves the right to edit

for style, punctuation, grammar and length. Please bring submissions to The Advocate in Room 1369, or e-mail them to [email protected]. Submissions must be received by

5 p.m. Monday the week of publication to be considered for print. Opinions expressed in columns, letters to the editor or advertisements are the views of the author and do not

necessarily reflect those of The Advocate or MHCC.

the advocate

E-mail: [email protected]: 503-491-7250www.advocate-online.net#mhccadvocate Mt. Hood Community College 26000 SE Stark Street Gresham, Oregon 97030

Adam Elwellthe advocate

As much as it pains our staff to break the fourth wall, it’s probably best just to be entirely clear: This story, and all of the stories published on Pages 1, 3 (with the exception of this letter), 7, and 8 are entirely facetious. Today is the first time in

recent memory that the Advocate staff has published on April Fool’s day, and we just couldn’t pass on such a golden opportunity. All the content on pages 4, 5, and 6 are factual.

No ill will was intended, and while a lot of the content addressed is personal or specific to Mt. Hood, we thought that’s exactly what

makes it a good hoax. The Advocate, in all seriousness, supports the upcoming bond measure, and very much appreciates any citizen’s contribution to the college.

Please understand, any programs or people mentioned are done so only because they are part of what makes Mt. Hood what it is. All absurdities are meant as hints to

the story’s status as a hoax, except for Salmon-Man. He is definitely a real superhero… but seriously, we’re kidding.

So to be totally clear, the cover is a hoax.

We are still named Mt. Hood Community College; the Portland Trail Blazers are staying in Portland, and the effort to pass a general

obligation bond in late May is actually picking up steam (see our story on the campaign’s financial backers in next week’s issue).

Also if you read some of our online content especially the ones marked with a salmon at the end, please don’t cut our funding; we didn’t mean that either.

Letter from the editor : please don’t sue us

Matana McIntirethe advocate

A mysterious pollutant has been noticed lurking in the waters of the campus

pond by students and staff of Mt. Hood Community College in recent weeks. Reports of a dark brown substance in the water surfaced as early as March 4.

Pollution in the pond is a concern for the college because it flows into Kelly Creek, which is a considerable tributary to Beaver Creek. If pollution in the campus pond flowed through to either outflow, it could start affecting local wildlife, more importantly that of Beaver Creek, where coho salmon have been spawning since 2013.

Local environmentalists have been exerting considerable pressure on public groups to rehabilitate the

waters, but pollution could hinder the creek’s rehabilitation. It could also jeoperdize the college’s effort to become salmon safe certified.

According to Mt. Hood’s Fisheries department, safe water levels in the pond would depend on acceptable pH levels, dissolved oxygen, turbidity and temperature. Each aspect plays an important part in hosting aquatic life. Cleaning up the pond would take considerable time and effort. Fisheries leaders said the body of water might “need to be dredged, and any polluted sediments removed and disposed of properly.” This could turn into a major project that the department won’t be able to handle on its own.

Nothing can be done until the pollutant has been identified. To try to determine what the substance might be, the Fisheries department has agreed to do a preliminary test. It collected multiple water samples

at the beginning of the Winter Term finals week and has since been working to solve the mystery.

This week, the Advocate followed up with the investigation. After two weeks of testing, department staff were able to isolate a sugar-based compound commonly found in food sauces. This led to comparison testing of over 20 household sauces and condiments, which eventually yielded a result: The mysterious pollutant in Mt. Hood’s pond seems to be a gourmet marinade and cooking sauce. The Fisheries department estimated there could be tons of gallons of the gooey fluid in the pond.

While testing of the water is due to continue for several weeks, the sauce’s effect on aquatic life still is yet to be determined. Until the college knows for certain, all fishing, swimming, and cooking is prohibited in and around the pond.

Bond hurdle set high,MHCC unable to clear

Mt. Hood community collegepanicked over pond muck

Photo by Chuck Masi

Gloria Saepharn and Hayden Hunterthe advocate

Hold off on the bond? Yes.Hold the sauce – and a new

school name? No.According to recent voter

opinion polling, Mt. Hood’s general obligation bond measure has run into sharp opposition: Nine out of 10 likely voters are saying ‘no’ to the bond’s potential solution to the school’s debt and aging campus.

The $125 million bond proposal was to rebuild the Maywood Park campus, add a Workforce and Applied Technology Center at the Gresham campus, and make seismic safety upgrades.

Skylar Lipino, an attorney for Bån & Krüpt Law Firm, said he doesn’t know what turned voters.

“Education is one of the best things to support in a community … It’s pretty outrageous that the whole community would say no to this bond that would provide a lot of assistance to students who work hard to get a proper education,” Lipino said.

First-year MHCC student Ashley Mopolai worried the quality of education being provided would degrade over time. She shook her head as she said, “It doesn’t make sense. Why we aren’t able to persuade such a large community?”

“What’s the point of having a school around, if it’s not getting enough money to run?” she said.

Given the polling, MHCC leaders swiftly moved March 25 to withdraw the bond measure from the May 17 election ballot.

Still, Mt. Hood’s leaders have high hopes for the future: Yunki Joshida, local cooking sauce tycoon and a major MHCC donor, has pledged to donate $1 gazillion. In light of this gift, Mt. Hood officials and associates acted to rename the institution the Joshida Community College, effective immediately.

Given the donation, MHCC should have little worry about polls the next three centuries. Besides the new name, and signs installed this week, the campus should see major changes.

Associated Student Government President Beth Salbert said, “I can’t wait. We were promised a bitchin’ activities wheel at least twice the size of the one Vanna White gets to spin every night.”

A sizable portion of the money has been set aside for administrators’ personal jetpacks, for those days when walking to the office seems too tasking. Derr’s jetpack is slated to be painted hot-rod red, and that of Al Sigala, director of the MHCC Foundation and Alumni Relations, hot pink.

Ducks swimming in Mt. Hood’s pond, which was recently discovered to have been polluted by a sweetened marinade sauce.

Emily Wintringham the advocate

One would think that the world’s most popular sport, soccer, would already be in full swing at Mt. Hood Community College, but according to Associated Student Government officials, it’s only still on the menu.

MHCC Athletic Director Kim Hyatt said that currently providing for an extra competitive program would either require additional funding, or cutting an existing intercollegiate sport, such as track and field, or baseball.

“We will continue to look at options to find additional funding to propose the addition of these two sports (both women’s and men’s soccer) as additional resources are established,” said Hyatt. The overall athletics budget at MHCC has been reduced by 37 percent in the course

of three years, she noted.Funding for co-curricular and

athletic programs is directly affected by student enrollment. A decrease in enrollment decreases the amount of money, and consequently, the ability to raise a new program. That’s the current situation at Mt. Hood.

But what if soccer was not just another burden?

In fact, could soccer be the cure to a steadily dwindling supply of student fee money?

Fellow NWAC athletic rival institution Lane Community College is putting a men’s soccer program to the test for the 2016-17 academic year. In an email to the Advocate, Lane’s athletic director, Greg Sheley, said that soccer would benefit that college and its area in many ways, such as boosting enrollment, improving community relations, and satisfying the local demand for the sport.

“Facilities were already in place to house these teams, (and) we were bringing back sports that were previously part of our athletic offerings,” he said.

LCC will add women’s volleyball in addition to the men’s soccer team this fall, according to NWAC.com. Since Lane is re-implementing these programs, the cost of restarting the soccer program would be “between $15,000 and $20,000,” said Sheley. Maintaining the program would take an estimated $43,000 annually - the largest expense being travel.

According to Hyatt, more goes into adding a new athletic program than one might think.

“To meet Title IX requirements (which require gender equity, including scholarship and roster counts) we would need to add a men’s and women’s program, so you would need to double that (cost),” she said. “These numbers

also wouldn’t even begin to factor in the additional expenses to maintain and prepare the facilities for events/games or the labor required.

“Additionally, we would need to assure that our fields would meet the NCAA requirements for hosting official home games,” Hyatt said.

Work is currently being done to see the soccer dilemma through – at least at the intramural level.

ASG conducted a poll over the month of March and found that 83.9 percent of Mt. Hood students and faculty who responded support the idea of intramural (organized sport within an institution) soccer, and 30.7 percent of students who took the poll said they would be interested in participating.

Friday around 2 to 4 p.m. would be the most popular time for soccer scrimmages, according to the poll, but due to different scheduling conflicts, the actual

potential intramural time was adjusted to Tuesday, from 1 to 2 p.m. Times are still being adjusted, said Santiago Velasco Lopez, ASG Senator of Finance and Legislation at Mt. Hood.

(For more information about intramural soccer, contact Brian Urzua, ASG Senator of Athletics and Aquatics, in the Student Union.)

Lopez said both the MHCC athletics department and ASG believe that establishing the soccer scrimmages are a step in the right direction to garner more support for a new soccer program.

“We would certainly propose the addition of men’s and women’s (soccer) if we had the appropriate funding to move forward and had student support but the final decision would be made by the president and the District Board,” said Hyatt.

NEWSPAGE a d v o c a t e - o n l i n e . n e t4

Matana McIntirethe advocate

U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders, Democratic contender for U.S. president, visited Portland this past Friday, March 25, rocking the Moda Center with loud cheers and stomps of supporters. Many Portlanders turned out for the campaign stop, filling the lower arena bowl with an

estimated 11,500 people. Doors opened at about ten

o’clock in the morning, and people were lined up around the Rose Quarter as early as six in the morning, as the event was on a first-come, first-serve basis. Standing in the lines were a diverse range of Portlanders, though most notable was a large share of young people. It seemed that youths, even many too young to vote, had flocked to the event in support.

That many young supporters rallied came as little surprise. It is widely known that Sanders’ success thus far in the 2016 election owes in part to his high popularity among young voters, as well as young people. This also seemed true at Portland’s rally.

When Sanders took the podium

after a speech from The Dandy Warhols’ keyboardist Zia McCabe and a performance by The Thermals, he soon struck every Oregonian’s nerve when he pronounced the state name wrong. He corrected himself only after a few shouts of correction from the crowd and a long, silent pause. The crowd laughed in the end, and he went on to coax loud, stomping cheers and standing ovations as he spoke.

Most talked about following Friday’s rally was the amusing moment that went viral shortly after the rally concluded.

For hours, as the crowd waited in their seats for the event, a small bird was noticed occasionally flying from one rafter to another inside the arena. About halfway through Sanders’ speech, he again paused when he saw

the bird flying around the stage, until it landed atop his campaign sign on the lectern, and stared right at the presidential candidate.

At this, Sanders’ supporters went absolutely wild, their cheers not deterring the small bird as it stood at its perch.

Finally, the Vermont senator said, “I think there may be some symbolism here: I know it doesn’t

look like it, but that bird is really a dove asking us for world peace.” Soon after, the bird departed, and the speech continued.

For registered voters, Oregon’s presidential primary election is on May 17.

The deadline to register to vote in the primary is April 26.

Eager youth welcome Bernie Sanders to Portland

Limited funding prevents official soccer at MHCC

US. Sen. Bernie Sanders giving a speech at the Moda Center as a bird lands on the podium.

Photo by Matana McIntire

Ivy Davis and Emily Wintringham the advocate

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2, (MBFGW2): the movie we’ve all been waiting for.

As usual, the movie industry pulled another “Finding Dory” stunt on us. We’ve waited about 14 long years to see the adorable cast return. After such a long time, one definitely starts to miss Yia Yia, right? Well, there’s a new addition to the family who plays a crucial role in the plot - little Paris is all grown up.

The story picks up in a similar

fashion where identity and heritage go to battle one another. Paris faces conflicts similar to those of her mother in the first film. One could imagine that this ordinary set-up of mother vs. daughter, or more like, daughter vs. Greek family would not stand on it’s own two columns, but that is certainly not the case.

MBFGW2 has enough of a brand new structure to give depth creating the feeling that the viewer was never separated from the family’s comical drama. At first, one might assume that such a long duration between the first and second movie would have made things like an awkward family reunion, but it didn’t. The family is just as loud and boisterous as ever. What achieved this most was how well they kept the characters true to their personalities and even their physical characteristics. Ian Miller still has stringy long hair, Toula (Nia Vardalos) has those lovely curls of

hers, and well, most the women still have big hair.

This sequel has perfectly captured all the classic elements needed, and introduced just enough humor that would make a person laugh in this slightly more perverted year of 2016. “He likes me to dress up like a wizard sometimes, because he has a magic wand,” was probably the best line in the entire movie. This coming from the enthusiastic Aunt Voula (Andrea Martin), who plays Toula’s aunt and has no problem talking about her sex life and stories about how she was a twin once or her dry and wide tongue.

While staying consistant with the first film, the sequel feels like there is an obvious crunch for time. It has more conflicts than the first film, and any other movie that didn’t have the constant element of Greek Culture would feel too overpowering - like those Christian movies that shove in 12 different plots, banking on at least one to hit you in the pathos. Even though there was a lot in MFBGW2, some scenes were romantic and endearing, such as the wedding scene. It slowed us down. Then like the first movie, the reception brought us back up into party mode.

The most special thing about this particular movie, and the one before it, is that though it has a main character, the story is also about the family. MBFGW really shows that in this Greek family no one is ever really alone. Focusing on the family rather than a single character makes this film great. Was it as good as the first one? No, but is it worth seeing. My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 gets a 4/5 from the Advocate.

PAGE a d v o c a t e - o n l i n e . n e t10 PAGE 5A p r i l 1 , 2 0 1 6 PAGE 5ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Roushan questions emotion using art

‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2’ the sequel of the century

Sohail Coelho prints digital art on aluminum

Nicole Kaadithe advocate

Raziah Roushan’s “Gypsy Brides” exhibit will be presented this month at MHCC’s Fireplace Gallery, and viewers of all ages and backgrounds should enjoy the vibrant and bold style.

Roushan is an artist and arts advocate who works with many

mediums including oils, acrylic, charcoal, pastels, graffiti, murals, large- scale chalk art, and light construction and installation.

She displays imagery to match the unanswered question: “What is the cost (emotionally) of being in a committed relationship?” The meaning of her work is entwined with innovative twists that combine metaphors and symbolism within the more

abstract cubist art form.Roushan said, “Artists are the

voice for people who can’t speak,” and said she likes to produce art in various mediums that appeal to more demographics than those who typically seek out particular forms of art. She said she uses numerous mediums to express her message in various ways.

“One style of art doesn’t always (use) the best language to tell a story,” she said.

She also incorporates a voice, a struggle, or an accomplishment in her works and encourages people

to ask questions, tell stories and debate her art. She said she’s received inspiration for her work from conversations overheard at previous showings of her art.

Originally, Roushan thought she was going to be an illustrator, so she learned different mediums and styles to be able to fulfill different expectations of potential clients, she said.

She earned a bachelor’s degree in

Fine Art from the Pacific Northwest College of Art in

Portland in 2004, and traveled the world teaching networking and contracting for the purpose of visual art.

“Gypsy Brides” will remain on exhibit in the Fireplace Gallery through April 28. The Gallery is open 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Thursday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Friday.

Matana McIntirethe advocate

Sohail Coelho is an abstract mixed-media artist who uses strong feelings of emotion to lead his art creation in his current Mt. Hood exhibit titled “Felt Experience.”

He uses large aluminum slabs as bases over which he prints his photographic illustrations. These illustrations are created to express exact emotions of the places Coelho has visited in his world travels, each having little pockets of exposed

aluminum to emphasis his chosen form of mixed media.

Coelho is a Indian-American who grew up in New Jersey, and went to school in Maine. For most of his life, he was working hard to get into business.

“You have this architecture of your life, right, and you think this is what you think your life should be,” he said on Tuesday in the Diversity Resource Center. “I realized most of the choices I had made was to make my parents happy.”

He explains how he felt he

was living someone else’s life. By 2010, he was working in New York City and making “a crap load of money,” he said. His moment of clarity came while sitting in his apartment in Brooklyn, staring at all the wealth he possessed in his luxurious home, and wondering if it meant anything to him.

When he realized that he wanted more to his story, he quit his job and left to travel the world for a year and a half.

“It was that process of deconstruction that found the artist

in me,” Coelho explained. He headed straight for Brazil, and continued on to at least a dozen other countries – from Egypt to Vietnam, and to Bhutan. He climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro, and lived in Cape Town for enough time to build a group of friends and establish a new life. And when he became tired, he came back to the U.S. to explore the west coast.

He came to Portland on a nagging hunch.

“Portland popped into my head randomly about four years ago. I kept putting it off, and then I came

here and as soon as I got here, I was like, ‘Okay, this makes sense.’ ”

Coelho has stayed here since. When he’s not creating art, he is part of a program of mentors out of Portland that encourages people of color to thrive in design, illustration, development, advertising, and marketing.

Anyone interested can see Coelho’s work in the DRC, located in the Student Union, or visit starryrabbit.com.

“Ashamed” from the “Gypsy Brides” col-lection done with oil paints on canvas.

Photo from Web Photo from Web

Stars Nia Vardalos and John Corbett who play Toula and Ian Miller in the original movie with their new co-star Elena Kampouris taking the role of their daughter.

4/5 on the Windex cleaning scale

BACKGROUND: Flame, a fusion of digital painting and photos by Sohail Coelho.

OPA!

SPORTS55 PAGE a d v o c a t e - o n l i n e . n e t6

Former Saint shines for Marshall UniversityJon Fuccillothe advocate

As Tommy Lane slowly approached the plate in

the top of the first inning in his first official at-bat

for Marshall University, the junior transfer from

MHCC sank his Size 14 cleats into the batters box

and took a deep breath, as he always does.

With a 2-1 count, the 6-foot-7, 235-pound southpaw put his all behind a fast one and sent it deep over the centerfield fence in Tallahassee, Florida in a game with Florida A&M.

With his parents, Tom and Ruth, in the stands that Feb. 19 afternoon, it made the moment that much more special. But Lane, modest as ever, would have been more excited had his team not lost 9-4 during its season opener. “We fell short,” said

the Pendleton native.Lane said his first Division I home run will be remem-

bered for a long time, but watching his team’s reaction as he rounded the bases was priceless, according to the big red head. “It’s a great feeling, but seeing the excitement and energy that it gives the rest of the team is what really makes me enjoy it,” he said.Lane credits his two years at Mt. Hood for his great start to

the season. He said Saints head coach Bryan Donohue played a major role in his success. “Hood plays ball the right way and that’s going to prepare anyone who goes through there to suc-ceed at the next level if they are able to move on,” said the slugger. “The biggest thing I took away from Mt. Hood was execution of the team game. Dono would always say, ‘pitch-

ing, defense and execution of the team game.’ That’s a recipe for success.”

Lane finished the 2015 regular season with the Saints leading the NWAC with 11 home runs, to go along with 49 RBI, good for second in the entire league. He was named to both the South Region and NWAC first (hon-ored) teams for his efforts.

During his two-year stint with the Saints, he belted 16 home runs and had 74 RBIs, while hitting .307.

Donohue said Lane was one of the more exciting players he’s had a chance to coach in his nine years

at Mt. Hood.“I think Tommy could put a show on

during batting practice,” said Donohue. “He changed a lot during his two years with

us. As a freshman he had a tendency to give up

at-bats. Then his sophomore year he completely changed his approach. And to think, he didn’t even play his entire senior year of high school because he broke his collarbone during the basketball season.”

The coach praised Lane’s work ethic, especially in the bat-ting cage: “Never had a player spend more time in the cage. He’s a cage rat.”

As of Thursday, Marshall stood at 13-10 and Lane has played a major role in their success early in the 2016 campaign. He has seven home runs, 21 RBI, and is batting .337 – leads the Thundering Herd in all three categories. “I feel good at the dish, just trying to simplify things and swing at strikes,” he said. “That’s is the biggest thing (on my approach at the plate).”

Lane wants more than anything to make it to the NCAA tournament and make a run at Omaha, home of the College World Series, the dream of all college players. “I want to play postseason baseball so I am just trying to fill my role,” he said. “I don’t pay attention to my stats unless we’re winning games.”

Donohue isn’t surprised by Lane’s early breakout. “Pretty sweet to see what’s he has done so far. The biggest knock on him by pro scouts was whether he would struggle against ve-locity,” said the coach. “He could hit a ball a long ways, but I wasn’t sure how he would do at the next level. But now, he’s probably making a stronger case to be a draft guy this year.”

Marshall is located in Huntington, West Virginia, and the team is a part of Conference USA. So far, the team is 3-3 in con-ference action. Lane feels like his squad has the tools and lead-ership to make some major noise this season. “We have people who have been here for four years and they’re good leaders and more than anything, we believe we have what it takes,” he said. “Yogi Berra said it best: ‘Baseball is 90 percent mental, the other half is physical.’ ”

On March 15, Lane hit a monumental home run – a 12th-in-ning, walk-off shot to defeat Morehead State, 6-5.

Lane, who was used to swinging wood bats during his two years at Mt. Hood, said a change to a metal-composite bat hasn’t affected his approach at the plate. “I like to feel the weight of a wood bat’s barrel... So, I had our equipment guy get the most end-weighted bat possible,” he said.

Majoring in International Business, he’d like to continue playing as long as he can. At this rate, that might be a very long time.

“I’ll play until I can’t for whatever reason that may be,” he said. “Baseball is a game (where) you can’t look forward, it’s all about what your doing right now.”

Jon Fuccillothe advocate

The Saints traveled to Longview, Wash., Tuesday afternoon for the first time since they left historic Story Field last May as the NWAC champion runner-up against Lower Columbia College. This time they rode back to Gresham savoring a doubleheader sweep of the Red Devils.

You could say the Saints had revenge on their minds as they went on to win, 8-2 and 7-6, in the non-division match-up.

“It was a big pride thing to go up there and win after losing our final game of the season there last year (in the title game),” said quiet yet impressed Saints coach Bryan

Donohue on Wednesday. “We went to their yard and swept them pretty handily (in the first game). It shows you (the) direction we’re headed in. It was a lot of weight lifted off our shoulders.”

In the opener, Saints freshman Cameron Jack (2-1, 4.00 ERA) picked up his second straight victory for Mt. Hood (now 6-11 on the season). The 6-foot-1, 195-pound Marist High School graduate tossed five innings, giving up two runs on five hits while only striking out two.

The real punch to the Red Devils’ (12-6 record) gut came in the top of the fifth inning. With two outs and a 2-2 count, Saints sophomore infielder J.T Williams hit a grand slam, his first home run of the season.

The second game proved a more even contest, with the two sides going blow-for-blow. Trailing 6-0 in the fifth inning, Lower Columbia bounced back and put up four runs of their own, eventually tying the game at 6 in the seventh. In the top of the eighth inning (extra innings, in a scheduled doubleheader) Williams came up big again with two outs, this time walking with the bases loaded - enough for the Saints to grab the win. Freshman Cobi Johnson (1-0, 1.59 ERA) picked up his first victory as a Saint, while freshman Connor Stevenson picked up his first save.

“We are doing a lot better,” said Donohue. “It was like night and day against Lower Columbia. We really came out to play and these guys have

been in every game.”This isn’t Donohue’s first rodeo,

getting off to a slow start. “It reminds me of the first few years I was here. We started a season 3-7 and that was one of the years we ended third or something at NWACs and won our conference,” the coach said.

In other words, Donohue isn’t too worried about slow starts,

especially with his talented group.“We’re learning to manufacture

runs and close out games. We have been in so many games where the game is begging for one team or another to take over and win. It has been a frustrating start,” he said. “If we had a game where we would hit, we couldn’t pitch. If we had a game where we could pitch, we couldn’t hit.”

The Saints next take to the diamond on Saturday at their home Oslund Field when they square with off with the George Fox Junior Varsity team, at noon and 3 p.m. starting times.

League play begins on April 8, when Mt. Hood travels to Albany for a doubleheader with Linn-Benton (10-6).

File Photo

Saints sweep Red Devils in weekend doubleheader

J.T. Williams posing in the gym after practicePhoto by Nick Pelster

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT PAGEA p r i l 1 , 2 0 1 6 7

Aquarius - Has an unexpected person unceremoniously poked their way back into your life? Second chances are better than first chances, because you get to do it twice!

Pisces - “The best times to plant a tree are 20 years ago, and right now.” Do something spontaneous, and do it for you. Playing a musical instrument would also be beneficial.

Aires - Unorthodox travel plans are confusing at first, but definitely leave lasting memories. Don’t be afraid to take a leap of faith in the coming week.

Taurus - You know you’ve been brimming with creativity for a while now; you just need to take the lid off of the pot and let it overflow.

Gemini - Financial troubles come and go. Don’t forget to live in the moment, because you’ve been worrying about the future for too long. But don’t go overboard.

Cancer - If you leave stereotypes at the door, the world becomes a much more surprising place. Going with the flow may not work well on a national scale, but sometimes convention is right because it’s been tested.

Leo - A change in the season means a change in scenery, which means a new beginning. Try something new and develop a new perspective and it will sharpen your other perspectives in contrast.

Virgo - How do you see yourself? Take a step back and think about your life to date, and you might be surprised with the answer, for better or for worse.

Libra - For you, this time of year is about having something you may not need, than needing something you do not have.

Scorpio - Scorpios are known for their exuberance around the diurnal solstice. Just make sure you don’t infringe on another’s personal space, even if it was a good-natured sentiment.

Sagittarius - Don’t sell yourself short: your perception is quite often far removed from reality – or other people’s realities, that is. It’s better to give yourself the benefit of the doubt.

Capricorn - Restless nights can be the most productive. You have the ability to change something in the future, don’t be afraid to.

Banksy leaves his mark at MHCC

Megan Fox dies riding exercise bike and eating Easy Mac - Portland, OR

Student’s ‘One-Salmon-Man-Show’ is a hit

Ivy Davisthe advocate

There was curiously little blood, and no teeth or claw marks – but film star Megan Fox died early Thursday while working out in the gym of the Hilton Hotel in downtown Portland, in town to work with the cast of “Grimm” for the new season of the popular television series.

An eyewitness who was present and wished to stay anonymous said, “I was at the hotel’s indoor gym when Megan Fox walked in. At first, I was amazed that she was there. Then I got curious to why she was eating Easy Mac at a gym.”

Surveillance camera footage released that day shows Fox, 29, making herself a cup of instant macaroni and cheese in her Hilton suite before arriving at the gym. The star brought her meal from her room on the top floor all the way to the gym on the second floor.

“It’s amazing that the actress was able to keep from eating her Easy Mac until she actually climbed on top of one of the exercise bikes,” said one of the first responders who rushed to the gym.

The eyewitness didn’t notice the commotion of Fox choking until her bike flipped her over, making “a noise like a plane crashing into a building,” she said. The surveillance

video shows the actress starting to cycle, but soon after also begin to eat her instant meal. The footage shows the first 4 minutes, 26 seconds of the workout going well, until Fox appears to experience extreme difficulty swallowing.

The actress begins violently choking, vomiting her golden-hued meal, then grabbing the handlebars of her bike and coughing furiously while pedaling much faster.

The choking Fox appears to crank the bike so fast, it comes off its stationary stand. The video shows her pedaling the bike across the gym until it comes into contact with a small rock. At this point, the actress was flung over her handlebars head-first onto the concrete floor.

The same eyewitness said she called 911 immediately. However, Fox was reported dead when emergency crews first arrived.

Preliminary Multnomah County coroner reports show that Fox’s head-first dive onto the pavement was not the cause of death. Rather, the instant macaroni and cheese in her lungs caused asphyxiation, the reports state.

The Hilton is preparing for all lawsuits that may ensue from the tragedy but a spokesman said the hotel chain believes all fault lies with Kraft, the company that makes the instant macaroni and cheese.

Matana McIntirethe advocate

A new, independent program out of the Theater Department has emerged on campus, titled “One-Salmon-Man-Show.”

Audiences flocked to the free show Tuesday night, in the first week of the Spring Term. There had been a bit of buzz among the theater community on campus following the Winter Term finals week as the “Salmon-Man” performer had started to promote his new show.

He chose to stay in character as Salmon-Man throughout his

performance and following the show, despite a few onlookers referring to him as ‘Dale’ on personal terms. His full identity remains undisclosed at the present time.

Now, you don’t need to know his name to enjoy his show. I sure didn’t. His performance was a hilarious mix of dry h u m o r and caricature-style sketch i m p r e s s i o n s . He poked fun heavily at his own character persona of Salmon-Man, making it an instant favorite among the crowds.

One of his greatest skills while performing is

his ability to seamlessly transition between multiple characters in a single scene. As a one-(man) show, this had to be something he could pull off, if he wanted dimension

in his performance. Salmon-Man expertly came

through – t h e r e

was one s c e n e

where he played eight different characters, and the

audience was able to

follow along quite easily!My only issue with the

performance was his use of water as a prop. I understand his show is based on his Salmon-Man character; however, sitting in the front row, I kept getting splashes of water in my direction. There seemed to be a constant small puddle on stage while he performed.

Overall, I’m not sure if there will be a sequel in the works. If so, I’ll definitely be there, sitting closer to the back. For now, I’ll sit in waiting, remembering his jokes and expert performance skills, wondering how exactly he managed to get his costume as realistic as it looked. Seriously, guys, this guy is a master costumer – I felt like I was watching a salmon talk to me throughout the whole performance.

4/5 on the salmon scale

Nick Pelsterthe advocate

This week, Joshida Community College has been struck by a famous artist: The one and only Banksy has been showcasing his artwork around the school in several locations.

Banksy is an England-based graffiti artist, political activist and film director of unverified identity who is wanted all over the world for the vandalism crimes he commits.

His art pieces often go for millions of dollars at art auctions. Even when a collector has a Picasso, they still need a Banksy above their fireplace, as well.

Sources say that on Monday, Joshida Public Safety got a report of a man wearing an all-black hoody with black pants spray painting on multiple campus walls. Despite hours of searching for this man, the trail went cold and all that was left was his provocative artwork. That includes spray painting the hood of a Public Safety car and a giant Salmon-Man portrait in the main mall courtyard.

Why would the most famous street artist in the world come to Joshida? The Advocate staff jumped on the story quickly, conducting research to find out why Banksy was in Gresham, of all places.

After a couple days of investigating, the Advocate obtained the records on Public Safety citations for violations, some dating back 50 years. It turns out that maybe this wasn’t the first time that Banksy has been to Mt. Hood. In 1996, a young man was caught in the campus library signing the name Banksy in every fine art book the library had to offer.

Could it be that Banksy was an MHCC student?

The Advocate followed up, hoping to find the real name of arguably one of the most wanted men in the art world. Unfortunately, no official name could be found, and any lead we thought we had while reviewing the fine arts books instead found a large coffee stain right where the mystery student’s name would have been.

Coincidence, or not? Banksy’s artwork on campus

includes the giant salmon and an array of smaller original pieces. Some have been quite well hidden, so anyone finding another is asked to notify the Advocate.

At this point, we can suspect that Banksy came to MHCC to find his roots. And, hopefully, this isn’t the last time he decides to bless the college with his distinctive art.

Dale Gonzo’s character “Salmon Man” from posters.

TOP: Banksy’s salmon art. BOTTOM: Tag on public safety car.

Photo from posters

Horoscopes

PAGE a d v o c a t e - o n l i n e . n e t8 SPORTS

Clay Vitalethe advocate

With $17.7 billion in tow, Portland Trail Blazers owner Paul Allen does whatever he wants.

After co-founding Microsoft Corp. with Lakeside School buddy Bill Gates, Allen went on to even greater things. He opened institutes for brain science, artificial intelligence and cell research, pledged $100 million to help fight the Ebola virus, and donated over $40 million to separate departments of his alma mater, Washington State University. Perhaps the greatest of all, though, was purchasing the Blazers back in

1988 from previous owner Larry Weinberg for a mere $70 million.

Without Allen running the show, the Moda Center (known as the Rose Garden previously) may never have come to fruition and fans would still be taking in home games in the aging Veterans Memorial Coliseum – home games that now appear to be numbered.

That’s right, Allen had tried and failed to obtain the Sonics franchise before it was ripped and shipped off to Oklahoma City, and his roots in Seattle seem to have gotten the best of him: He has filed relocation papers with the National Basketball Association to move the beloved Blazers out of the Rose City and to

the Emerald City.Of course, the transition also

brings the naming rights back to the original Super Sonics, not unlike Charlotte dropping “Bobcats” in favor of their original Hornets moniker.

So, how could Allen, the man who quite literally has everything, decide to uproot a professional team from a town he has so much invested in? A franchise, mind you, that has grown to five times its net worth since Allen’s purchase – to $356 million – and risen to rank No. 14 of the NBA’s most valuable. This was all Allen’s doing; the Blazers’ ascent doesn’t happen without his ownership.

He’s currently not responding to media inquiries, so there are still so many unanswered questions for fans who until now had been cheering the Blazers’ unexpected push for the playoffs this season.

Besides the obvious hometown ties to Seattle, speculation is centered towards a prior rift inside the organization, stemming back 20 years ago.

Allen initially financed the Portland arena’s construction in 1993, borrowing $155 million on what his corner called ‘unfavorable terms’. He then hired away Bob Whitsitt from the Sonics after the

1994 season to take the general manager helm in Portland. Whitsitt had been instrumental in building Seattle’s rising squad that went on to face the Chicago Bulls in the 1996 NBA Finals, and was Executive of the Year before leaving Seattle. In 2003, however, he resigned amid reports of financial woes within the Portland club and his own mismanagement of team funds. The Oregon Arena Corporation, holding company for the newly built Rose Garden, filed for bankruptcy in 2004, blaming the local

economy for reduced income after the organization was unable to make payments on its construction loans.

The company was eventually dissolved after bankruptcy proceedings, its assets (chiefly the Rose Garden and the land it sits on) liquidated to become property of the lien holders in 2005. With

Allen only having primary control of the Blazers, the new management arm of the Rose Garden directly competed with him for ticket sales, thus creating a toxic relationship. The Blazers had difficulty turning a profit, and Allen, along with the creditors, eventually put the team up for sale. Although it attracted quite a few bids, he pulled them back off the market in 2006.

Then-NBA Commissioner David Stern said at the time, “My goal on behalf of the league would be to keep the team in Portland, playing in the Rose Garden, with economic prospects that make some financial sense” – foreshadowing the situation the city is now facing.

With the Blazers contractually obligated to play in the Moda Center until 2023, how could Allen possibly force the team’s relocation?

In 2007, he regained ownership of the arena, and has sought a number of options on getting out from under the contract, from filing a suit against the lease agreement, to simply selling off his rights. But it now appears he will do the unthinkable: lift the entire structure using aerial cranes, and set it back down on the plot of land he recently purchased in downtown Seattle.

What a sight to behold.

Clay Vitalethe advocate

One drizzly Wednesday morning, not unlike others throughout Multnomah County’s chilly January weather, Dale Gonzo peered out of his bedroom window, hesitant to face the day.

Pushed back a couple days by snow and ice, it was the opening of Winter Term at recently renamed Joshida Community College, and the course schedule seemed rather daunting to the shy young man. Nevertheless, he gathered his belongings and made the mile-long jog to campus, hoping to arrive early and check out his new surroundings.

A short ten minutes later, he was already scouting out his classrooms, making his way around school grounds. He then decided to take a stroll to the pond just outside of the gymnasium. The events that followed are hazy to Gonzo, but all he remembers now was waking up, soaking wet on a nearby bench, with the scent of Original Gourmet in his clothing.

“It was the weirdest thing,” he recalled. “I was just circling the pond,

and it felt like something pulled me in. All I could think about when I came to was making it to class on time.” But the 9 a.m. start for PE 185 had long passed, and feeling too queasy to go on, he thought it best to call it a day, he said.

The rain picked up as he began to saunter home; a steady downpour beat on him while his pace became brisk. A casual walk turned to a run, and finally, a sprint. In no time he was moving faster than the light traffic on Stark... in a 35 mph zone. Adding to his surprise, he started feeling better, more vibrant and alive. “Maybe this rain is all I needed,” he thought to himself. By the time he reached his neighborhood, he just kept going.

“I don’t know what came over me, but I wasn’t getting tired. I didn’t want to get out of the rain,” Gonzo said. Come nightfall, he skipped his routine shower and drew a bath instead, opting to relax and shake off the weirdness of that morning. Instead of getting a normal night’s sleep though, he lay submerged in the tub, eyes wide open, just waiting for morning to come.

Once Gonzo finished his only

class the next day, he knew what he had to do. The way running had felt after the “accident;” the desire to be in and around water; the classic Joshida sauce mysteriously empowering him: He must run steeplechase for Joshida track and field.

With confidence, he raced over to Earl L. Klapstein Stadium where the Taekwon-Tenders were hosting

practice, and flew right by the distance runners on the track. The water obstacle sat a mere 10 meters ahead, and the 3-foot tall steeple barrier was all that stood in his path to a body of water more than 12 feet wide and 2 feet deep.

Of course Gonzo took the nontraditional approach, leaping completely over the hurdle,

thrusting himself directly into the pool, soaking up all the glorious H20 his Joshida-modified cells could handle. He emerged, scales glistening in the sun, newly formed fins stretching toward the sky, and gills eagerly pumping – Salmon-Man had arrived, and he would set records for JCC.

JCC track and field hero sheds skin and kicks bass

Web photos

Toni and Candace can’t believe it, join the Blazer Dancers in pointing the finger at Allen.

Dale Gonzo spending quality time in the water obstacle, where he lives and breathes JCC steeplechase records.Photo by Nick Pelster

Trail Blazers move north on I-5 to Seattle.

Blazers bid farewell to Rip City: Thanks, Paul Allen