The 7 habits Reviewed

7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Habits have a tremendous gravity

pull

Lift off takes a lot of effort, but once we break out of the gravity pull,

our freedom takes on a whole new dimension

Ready for take off ?

Can we create a HABIT?

We are what we repeatedly do

Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit

Habits are learned and unlearned

We are not the habits, hence we can change them

7 Principles Upon which the 7 Habits are Based

The 7 habits center on the timeless and universal principles of:

Personal Interpersonal Managerial Organizational Effectiveness


The principle of continuous learning, of self-education - the discipline that drives us toward the values we believe in. Such constant learning is required in today’s world, in light of the fact that many of us can expect to work in up to five radically different fields before we retire

The principle of service, of giving oneself to others, of helping to facilitate other people’s work

The principle of affirmation of others - treating people as proactive individuals who have great potential


The principle of staying positive and optimistic, radiating positive energy - including avoiding the four emotional cancers (criticizing complaining, comparing and competing)

The principle of balance - the ability to identify our various roles and to spend appropriate amounts of time in, and focus on, all the important roles and dimensions of our life. Success in one area of our life cannot compensate for neglect or failure in other areas of our life.


The balance of spontaneity and serendipity - the ability to experience life with a sense of adventure, excitement, and fresh rediscovery, instead of trying to find a serious side to things that have no serious side.

The principle of consistent self-renewal and self-improvement in the four dimensions of one’s life: physical, mental, spiritual, and social - emotional.

4 Unique Human Endowments

Self Awareness:

We begin to become self-aware and explore the programs we are living out. We come to realize that we stand apart from our programming and can even examine it. We also realize that between stimulus and response, we have the freedom to choose. This self-awareness then leads to the ability to look at other unique endowments in our secret life.


Conscience:

Our conscience is our internal sense of right and wrong, our “moral nature.” It is the “greater harmonizer” and “balance wheel” of all the principles that govern our behavior. Our conscience gives us a sense of the degree to which our thoughts and actions are in harmony with our principles.


Power of Imagination:

We can visit the power of the mind to create or to imagine that which does not exist now. In that imagination lie our faith and our hope for the future. We look at what is possible, what we can envision.


Will Power or Independent Will:

Willpower refers to our determination, our resoluteness - our ability to act based solely on our self-awareness. We ask ourselves, “Am I really willing to the distance on my mission statement?” “Am I willing to walk my talk?” “Am I really willing to put first things first in spite of external distractions and pressures?” “Am I going to live a life of total integrity?”

Paradigm Shift

HABIT A BREAK FROMTRADITIONAL WISDOM

TOWARD7 HABITS PRINCIPLES

Habit 1 We are a product of our environment and upbringing.

We are a product of our choices to our environment and upbringing.

Habit 2 Society is the source of our values. Values are self-chosen and provide foundation for decision making. Values flow out of

principles.

Habit 3 Reactive to the tyranny of the urgent. Acted upon by the environment.

Actions flow from that which is important.

Habit 4 Win-lose.One-sided benefit.

Win-win.Mutual benefit.

Habit 5 Fight, flight, or compromise when faced with conflict.

Communication solves problems.

Habit 6 Differences are threats. Independence is the highest value. Unity means sameness.

Differences are values and are opportunities for synergy.

Habit 7 Entropy.Burnout on one track - typically work.

Continuous self-renewal and self-improvement.

“You are respons-able: able to choose your response!”

Habit 1:

Be proactive

Proactive Model

Self-Awareness

Imagination Conscience

Independent Will

ResponseStimulusFreedom to

Choose

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Viktor Frankl

Be Proactive

I choose my attitude, emotions, and moods

I can forgive, forget, and let go of past injustices

I’m aware that I’m responsible

I’m the creative force of my life

Change your environment by focusing on your circle of influence

Circle of Concern

Circle of Influence

CIRCLE OF

CONCERN

CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE

(Positive energy enlarges the Circle of

Influence)

From The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Stephen Covey (1989)

PROACTIVE FOCUS

Concern should drive us into action and not into a depression. No man is free who cannot control himself. Pythogoras

Circle of Concern

Circle of influence

We have a wide range of concerns, but not all of them

fall into our circle of influence

“Proactive people focus on their efforts in their circle of influence, causing the circle of influence to

increase

Reactive people focus their effort in the circle of concern. The negative energy generated by that focus causes the circle of influence to shrink”

“Anytime we think the problem is out there,

that thought is the problem”

You can choose your language

Reactive:

I must

If only

They made me

If I had

Proactive:

I prefer

I will

I choose

I can be

Explanatory Styles

People who give up easily, habitually say:

It’s me. It’s going to last forever. It’s going to undermine

everything I do.

Those who resist giving in to misfortune say:

It was just circumstances.

It’s going away quickly anyway.

Besides there’s so much more in life.

Permanence

Pervasiveness

Personalizationfrom Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman

Breaking Free of Self-Limiting Patterns

The last of human freedoms - the ability to chose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances. Viktor Frankl

From various authors whose work is based on that of Beck and Ellis

The Cognitive Triad Negative view of the self (e.g., I’m unlovable, ineffective)

Negative view of the future (e.g., nothing will work out)

Negative view of the world (e.g., world is hostile)


1. I need love and approval from those around to me.

2. I must avoid disapproval from any source.

3. To be worthwhile as a person I must achieve success at whatever I do.

4. I cannot allow myself to make mistakes.

5. People should always do the right thing. When they behave obnoxiously, unfairly or selfishly, they must be blamed and punished.

6. Things must be the way I want them to be.

7. My unhappiness is caused by things that are outside my control – so there is nothing I can do to feel any better.

8. I must worry about things that could be dangerous, unpleasant or frightening – otherwise they might happen.

9. I must avoid life’s difficulties, unpleasantness, and responsibilities.

10. Everyone needs to depend on someone stronger than themselves.

11. Events in my past are the cause of my problems – and they continue to influence my feelings and behaviours now.

12. I should become upset when other people have problems, and feel unhappy when they’re sad.

13, I shouldn’t have to feel discomfort and pain.

14, Every problem should have an ideal solution.

Irrational / shadow beliefs


Habit 1Effective People Ineffective People

BE PROACTIVE BE REACTIVE

Proactive people take responsibility for their own lives. They determine

the agendas they will follow and choose their response to what

happens around them.

Reactive people don’t take responsibility for their own lives. They feel victimized, a product of

circumstances, their past, and other people. They do not see as the

creative force of their lives.

Habit 2:

Begin with the end in mind

The key to the ability to changeis a changeless sense of who you are,

what you are about and what you value

Is the script you are living in, in harmony with your values?


BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND BEGIN WITH NO END IN MIND

These people use personal vision, correct principles, and their deep

sense of personal meaning to accomplish tasks in a positive and

effective way. They live life based on self-chosen values and are guided

by their personal mission statement.

These people lack personal vision and have not developed a deep sense of personal meaning and purpose. They have not paid the

price to develop a mission statement and thus live life based on society’s values instead of self-

chosen values.

Habit 3:

Put first things first

The key to time management is not to prioritize what’s

on your schedule but to schedule your

priorities

Habit: Begin With the End in Mind

Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.

Viktor Frankl From The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Stephen Covey (1989)

Principles

Money

Work

Possessions

Pleasure

Friend

Enemy

Church

Self

Spouse

Family

Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person: and even more, he sees that which is potential him, which is not yet actualised, but yet ought to be actualised. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualise these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true.

Man’s Search for Meaning - Viktor Frankl

The more one forgets himself-by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love – the more human he is and the more he actualises himself. What is called self-actualisation is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it, the more he would miss it. In other words, self-actualisation is possible only as a side effect of self-transcendence.


Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'

If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to all others, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism.

Love is union with somebody, or something, outside oneself, under the condition of retaining the separateness and integrity of one's own self.

In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.

Erich Fromm

It’s almost impossible to say NO to the popularity of urgent, non important matters, if you don’t have a bigger YES burning inside

“Things which matter most should never be at the mercy of things which matter

least”

Goethe

Long-term Organizing

Mission Stateme

ntRoles Goals

Roles Goals Plans

Schedule /

Delegate

Weekly Organizing

Timeless and changeless

Because goals are not timeless they should not be included

Should be based on unchanging core principles that operate regardless of present realities or situations

This changeless core will enable us to live with changes inside other people and the environment

As our consciousness grows and we mature, we strengthen, deepen, and improve our mission statement

We should always initially write our mission statement as if it will never change

Deal with both ends and means

Ends – what we are about Means – how we go about achieving

those ends Principles – what we implement to

achieve those ends Ends and means are inseparable Ends preexist in the means “you will never achieve a worth end

through unworthy means.”

Deal with all 4 basic needs

To live – our physical and economic needs

To love and to be loved – cultural and social ends

To learn – to grow, develop, be recognized and be useful

To leave a legacy – spiritual needs for meaning, for feeling that life matters, that we add value and make a difference

Significant roles in our life Parent, teacher, manager, neighbor Internalizing mission statements helps us to get

a clear understand of what is truly important “things which matter most must never be at

the mercy of things which matter least.” Goethe

Every time we say yes to something that is of little importance, we are saying no to something that is more important.

We must learn how to say no at appropriate times.

Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a

reason to “be happy.” Once the reason is found, however, one

becomes happy automatically. As we see, a human being is not

one in pursuit of happiness but rather in search of a reason to

become happy through actualizing the potential meaning

inherent and dormant in a given situation. Once an individual’s

search for a meaning is successful, it not only renders him happy

but also gives him the capability to cope with suffering-to

express it in plain words, to become aware of what can be done

about a given situation


.

49

. Crisis

. Pressing problems

. Deadline-driven projects, meetings, preparations

. Preparation

. Prevention

. Values clarification

. Planning

. Relationship building

. True re-creation

. Empowerment

. Interruptions, some phone calls

. Some mail, some reports

. Some meetings

. Many proximate,pressing matters

. Many popular activities

. Trivia, busywork

. Some phone calls

. Time wasters

. “Escape” activities

. Irrelevant mail

. Excessive TV

I II

III IV

Urgent Not UrgentIm

port

ant

Not

Import

ant


PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST PUT SECOND THINGS FIRST

These people exercise discipline, and they plan and execute

according to priorities. They also “walk their talk”.

These people are crisis managers who are unable to stay focused on

high-leverage tasks because of their preoccupation with circumstances,

their past, or other people. They are caught up in the “thick of thin things” and are driven by the

urgent.

Habit 4: Think Win/win

“You can only achieve win/win solutions with win/win processes”

It’s not your way or my way, it’s a better way

54

Lose/Win

Hig

hLo

w

Win/Win

Lose/Lose Win/LoseCO

NS

IDER

ATIO

N

Low HighCOURAGE

Habit: Think Win-Win

The habit of mutual benefit

Win-Win means seeking solutions that allow every one to win.

Successful relationships are built on a win-win foundation. A Win-Win

character consists of three traits: Integrity, Maturity & Trust

Emotional Bank Account:

1. Understand the individual; show empathy

2. Attend to little needs; show kindness

3. Keep commitments & promises always

4. Clarify expectations

5. Show personal integrity and loyalty

6. Apologize sincerely when you make a withdrawal.


Emotional Bank Account

Emotional Bank Account

Clarify Expectatio

ns

Keep Promises

Treat others Kindly

ApologizeUnderstand Others

Loyalty to the Absent

Levels of Communication

Cooperation

Trust

Low High

High

Low Defensive (win/lose or lose/win)

Respectful (compromise)

Synergistic (win/win)


THINK WIN-WIN THINK WIN-LOSE OR LOSE-WIN

These people have an abundance mentality and the spirit of

cooperation. They achieve effective communication and high trust levels

in their Emotional Bank Accounts with others, resulting in rewarding relationships and greater power to

influence.

These people have a scarcity mentality and see life as a zero-sum

game. They have ineffective communication skills and low trust

levels in their Emotional Bank Accounts with others, resulting in a defensive mentality and adversarial

feelings.

Habit 5:

Seek first to understand, then to be understood

“We have such a tendency to fix things up with good advice, but often we fail to take the time

to diagnose, to really deeply understand another human being first”

Reading your own autobiography into other people’s lives

is nót (even close to) listening

Habit: Seek First to Understand

To truly understand, we must listen to more than words.

Empathy is listening with the eyes and the “heart.”

Empathic listening is deep, active, reflective listening, and showing the person that you are following, understanding and participating in his feelings besides his words.

Empathy is not sympathy or pity and never manipulative.

You have to really care; false or put on empathy sucks and people realize immediately.

Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.

Kahlil Gibran

We need somebody who's got the heart, the empathy, to recognize what it's like to be a young teenage mom, the empathy to understand what it's like to be poor or African-American or gay or disabled or old - and that's the criterion by which I'll be selecting my judges.

Barack Obama

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/barackobam409146.html


SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD

SEEK FIRST TO BE UNDERSTOOD

Through perceptive observation and empathic listening, these non-

judgmental people are intent on learning the needs, interests, and concerns of others. They are then

able to courageously state their own needs and wants.

These people put forth their point of view based solely on their auto-biography and motives, without attempting to understand others

first. They blindly prescribe without first diagnosing the problem.

Habit 6:

Synergize

“The whole is greater than the sum of its parts”

“When we are left to our own experiences,

we constantly suffer from a shortage of data”

“The person who is truly effective has the humility to recognize his own perceptual limitations and to appreciate the rich resources available through interaction with the hearts and minds of other human beings”

In order to have influence, you have to open yourself up

to bé influenced


SYNERGIZE COMPROMISE, FIGHT OR FLIGHT

Effective people know that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. They value and benefit from differences in others, which results in creative cooperation and team-

work.

Ineffective people believe the whole is less than the sum of the parts.

They try to “clone” other people in their own image. Differences in

others are looked upon as threats.

Habit 7:

Sharpen the Saw

Read, write, relax, exercise, play, love, get involved, meditate …

“Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things … I am tempted to think … there are no

little things”

Bruce Barton

73

PhysicalExercise, Nutrition,

Recreation and Fun as an individual, couple and family

& Stress Management

Social/EmotionalFamily Sharing, Couple

Sharing,meaningful relationships and

activities, Service, Empathy

MentalReading, Learning,

VisualizingPlanning, Writing

SpiritualValue Clarification

& Commitment, Study & Prayer and Meditation

Habit: Sharpen The Saw


Have fun in your command. Don't always run at a breakneck pace. Take leave when you've earned it: Spend time with your families.

Colin Powell


SHARPEN THE SAW WEAR OU T THE SAW

Effective people are involved in self-renewal and self-improvement in the

physical, mental, spiritual, and social-emotional areas, which

enhance all areas off their life and nurture the other six habits.

Ineffective people fall back, lose their interest, and get disordered.

They lack a program of self-renewal and self-improvement and

eventually lose the cutting edge they once had.

Personal Immune System

Live the Seven Habits

Spend timein Quadrant II

Follow correctprinciples

Control own life

Maintain highEmotional BankAccount with selfand others

Maintain reservecapacity

Be resilient

Empower andserve others

CommunicateEmpathically

Synergize withothers using awin-win approach

Duplicity

Unkindness

Violatedexpectations

Outside stressand pressures

Time wasters

Interruptions

Pressingproblems

Crisis

Motivation is what gets you started.

Habit is what keeps you going.

Jim Ryun

A few Parting shots See and hear what you see and hear, rather than what you are supposed to see and

hear.

Think what you think, rather than what you are supposed to think.

Feel what you feel, rather than what you are supposed to feel.

Want what you want, rather than what you are supposed to want.

Imagine what you imagine, rather than what you are supposed to imagine

Seek to avoid being created by others in their image and to create others in your image.

Avoid judging others

Be there for people when they need you, not for the purpose of giving advice or for

being appreciated, but just to be there for them.

Enjoy the validation and support from others when it comes to you, but do not expect it

or be disappointed if it does not happen.

Practice sharing your genuine thoughts and feelings, your joys and your successes, your

concerns, and your fears with the people your trust and love, and who embrace the

same values as you. You will be amazed how your life will be enriched.

Watch your thoughts, for they become wo

rds.

Watch your words, for they become action

s.

Watch your actions, for they become habit

s.

Watch your habits, for they become chara

cter.

Watch your character, for it becomes your

destiny

.

http://thinkexist.com/quotation/watch_your_thoughts-they_become_your_words-watch/13673.html











And a final word “Never give in, never give in, never; ne

ver; never; never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense”

Winston Churchill

http://www.quotesdaddy.com/quote/280522/winston-churchill/never-give-in-never-give-in-never-never-never-never





http://www.quotesdaddy.com/author/Winston+Churchill

The 7 habits Reviewed

Self Improvement

habit habits

circle ofinfluencefrom

life cannotcompensate

secret life

circle of concernwe

circle of influencecircle

principle of balance

proactive focus