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byWhitneyAnthony,
Theworstliesarethelieswetellourselves.Weliveindenialofwhatwedo,evenwhatwethink.Wedothisbecausewereafraid.Wefearwewillnotfindlove,andwhenwefinditwefearwellloseit.Wefearthatifwedonthavelovewewillbeunhappy.~RichardBach
Mostofusdontlikeliars.Infact,weoftenfeeloffended,evenangry,whenanotherpersonliestous.Butthetruthis,welietoourselveseveryday.Weengageinnegativeselftalkandthoughtpatternsthatinhibitourpersonalgrowthandlimitourabilitytoliveafullandgroundedlife.Wedeservetolivelifefully,toexperienceallofthejoyandmysterythatlifehastooffer.Thefirststeptowardsthiswayofbeingisawareness.Ifwecanbecomeawareofthewaysinwhichwelieourselves,wecanbegintofilterourthoughtsinaproductiveway.HereIhavelisted10liesthatweneedtostoptellingourselvesinordertopushpastourownlimitationsandbegintoenjoythetotalityoflivingforwhichwearedestined.
1.Mypastwillalwayshauntme.
Correctionyourepastcanhauntyouifyouletit.Butno,yourenotdoomedtospendtherestofyourlifedesperatelyseekinglovefromanyonewhowillshowittoyoubecauseofaparentwhoneverdid.Theverythingyouredoingatthismomentselfreflection,questioningoldthoughtpatternsisagreatstepinthedirectionofchange.Nexttime,beforeyouindulgeagroundlessbelieforfear,askyourself,Whatisthesourceofmyinformation?IftheanswerisasitusuallyisIthoughtitup,thenyoushoulddismisstheidea.Remember,whenyouholdontoyourhistory,youdosoattheexpenseofyourdestiny.
2.Successistheoppositeoffailure.
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Therearenofailures,justresults.Evenifthingsdontunfoldthewayyouexpected,dontgiveup.Learnwhatyoucanandkeepmoving.Theonewhocontinuestoadvancethisway,onestepatatime,istheonewhoultimatelywinsintheend.Thebattleisalwayswonlongbeforethefinalvictory.Itsamindset.Successisaprocessthatconsistsofsmallsteps,decisions,andactionsthatgraduallybuilduponeachother.
3.IfonlyIhad(fillinblank),Iwouldbehappy.
Therearetwowaysofbeingrichinhappiness:Oneistohaveallyouwant,theotheristobesatisfiedwithallyouhave.Illgiveyouahint:bothwaysarethesame.Ifyouacceptandappreciatethingsnow,youllfindmorehappiness.Happinesscomeswhenyoustopcomplainingaboutthetroublesyouhaveandstartofferingthanksforallthetroublesyoudonthave.Sonexttimeyoucatchyourselfthinkingaboutallthethingsyouwantthatyouhaventgotten,thinkinsteadaboutallthethingsyoudontwantthatyouhaventgotten.Andbegrateful.
4.Acrisisisabadthing.
AsJohnFKennedyoncesaid,TheChinesesymbolforthewordcrisisiswrittenusingtwostrokesofapen.Onestrokestandsfordanger,andtheotherforopportunity.Inacrisis,bewareofthedanger,butalsorecognizetheopportunity.Lifealwaysbalancesitselfout.Everychallenge,problem,anddifficultythatarisesissimplyanotheropportunityforyoutolearnandgrow.
5.Imtoooldforthat.
Youarenevertoooldtogoafterwhatyouwant.NelsonMandelawas76whenhebecamepresident.LeonardoDaVinciwas51yearsoldwhenhepaintedtheMonaLisa.Dr.Seusswas54whenhewroteTheCatintheHat.ColonelSanderswas61whenhestartedtheKFCFranchise.Therearecountlessotherexamples.Everyoneisontheirowntimeline.Andyouarenevertoooldortooyoungtofulfillyourcalling.
6.Thatperson(fillintheblank)hasitsomucheasierthanme.
Somanypeoplebelievethis.Butitssimplynottrue.Thetruthis,youhavenoideawhatthatpersonslifeisabout!Everyoneisexploringandstrugglingintheirownway.Nobodywashandedamanualoraninstructionguideforlifeeveryoneistryingtofigureitoutjustthesamewayyouare.Ionceheardsomeonesayifweallthrewourproblemsintoapileinthemiddleofaroomandwereforcedtochooseone,wewouldscrambletoretrieveourown.
7.Itisbettertogivethantoreceive.
ItsanicethoughtandusefulifyoureaparticularlyselfcenteredindividualbutIdontthinkitstrue.Maybewecanreplacethatliewith,ItsbettertogiveANDreceive.Becauseneitherisbetterthantheother.Theyareinbalance.Itssimplemath,foreverygivertheremustbeareceiver.Andtotakeitonestepfurther,givingispsychologicallyeasierthanreceivingbecausetheresnosenseofselfworthneededtogive.Youcangivethebestparts
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ofyourselfawaybecauseyoudontfeelworthyofhavingthem.Buttobewillingtoreceivemeansyoufeelworthyofacceptinggiftsfromothers.
8.Icandoittomorrow.
Maybeoneofthemostfrequentlieswetellourselves.Butweallknowitsnottrue!Thetroubleis,youalwaysthinkyouhavemoretimethanyoudo.Butonedayyouwillwakeupandtherewontbeanymoretimetoworkonthethingsyouvealwayswantedtodo.Nooneknowswhatthefutureholdsandwhatgooddoesitdotoliveintheoneofthesedaysmindset?Thelifeyouhaveistodayandthetimetoliveitisnow.Besides,ifweallwaiteduntilwewereready,wewouldnevergetanythingdone!
9.Happinessisthefoundationofmywellbeing.
Wetellourselvesoverandoveragain,Ineedtobehappy.Wequestionourselves,Whyarentyouhappy?!Butthetruthis,emotionsareemotionsareemotions.Sad,angry,lonely,scared,theyarenotbadthings!Insteadoftellingourselvesweneedtostayhappy,weoughttobelettingourselvesfeelhoweverwedoatanygivenmoment.Thiskindofpermissiontofeelaswefeelnotcontinuoushappinessisthefoundationofyourwellbeing.
10.Itswrongtobeselfcentered.
Sometimesbeingselfishishealthy.Wecouldalllearntosay,noeverynowandthen.Andstopapologizingallthetime.Itsyourlife!Youremotions!Yourchoices!Sochoosewhatsbestforyou.Andstopcaringwhatotherpeoplethinkaboutyourdecisions.If/whenitcomesdowntochoosingbetweensomeoneelseorsomethingelseandyourself,alwayschooseyourself.
Abouttheauthor:ThisarticlewaswrittenbyWhitneyAnthony.Whitney,wholovessinging,writing,andperformingistheauthoroftheVehicleofWisdomblog.Althoughshehasgraduatedfromschool,Whitneyconsidersherselfalifelongstudent.Shebelievesthataswelearn,weteachatourbestweareallteachers.TolearnmoreaboutWhitneyvisitherwebsitewww.vehicleofwisdom.wordpress.comandFacebookPage.
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