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DAVID ALLENACTIVIA
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R app or t
The Law of Association
Repeat ExposureReciprocal AffectionSimilaritiesHow you make someone feelMatching & MirroringHelping SomeoneWe're only humanPositive attitude
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Lis tening
The Right Ratio
Make NotesAvoid Finishing Other People's SentencesAvoid Jumping to ConclusionsRespond!
Avoid JudgingAsk QuestionsPause before ReplyingSummarise
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Q ues t ions
Open questions
Closed questionsSpecific questionsProbing questions
Hypothetical questionsReflective questionsLeading questions
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T.E.D.
Tell
E xplain
Describe
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F unelling Q ues t ions
Open
Probe
Closed
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Voice Be hav iour
Power / Projection
PitchPronunciationPace
Patter
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Incoming C a lls
I. Enquiry
II.Order III.ComplaintIV.Sales
V. Internal
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P PrepareA Answer R Reason for callS SummariseA Action
C Close
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Asser t iveness
Aggressive
Passive
Assertive
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WH AT IS IT?
HOW CAN IT HELP ME?WH AT D O I NEED T O DO?ASSE R TIVENESS
Asser t iveness
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Asser tiveness
Assertiveness is the ability to communicateyour needs, feelings, opinions, and beliefs in
an open and honest manner withoutviolating the rights of others
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HOW TO BE ASSE R TIVE
BE HONEST AND DIRECT ABOUT YOUR
FEELINGS, NEEDS, BELIEFS.
EXPRESS YOURSELF FIRMLY AND
DIRECTLY TO SPECIFIC INDIVIDUALS.
BE REASONABLE IN YOUR REQUESTS
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HOW TO BE ASSE R TIVE
STATE Y OU R VIEWP O INT WITHOU T BEING
HESITANT O R AP OLOGETIC.BE HO NEST WH EN GIVING O R R ECEIVING
F EEDBACK.
LEA R N T O SAY N O TO UNR EAS ONABLEEXPECTATI ONS.
PA R AP HR ASE WH AT OTHER S HAVESTATED T O YOU .
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HOW TO BE ASSE R TIVE
R EG OGNIZE AND R ESPECT T HE R IGHTS
O FTHO SE A R OU ND Y OU .
USE APP R OP R IATE T ONE O F VO ICE.BE A WAR E O F BODYP OST UR E/LANG UAGEMAINTAIN EYE C ONTACT.USE I STATEMENTS T O EXP R ESS SEL F
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HOW TO BE ASSE R TIVE
DONT LET OTHERS IMPOSE THEIR
VALUES/IDEAS ON YOUENCOURAGE OTHERS TO BE CLEAR AND
DIRECT
TAKE OWNERSHIP
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AND MY R IGHTS A R E
Th e rig ht to res p ec t myself bec a use of w h o I a m.
How to le ad my life p ursuing go a ls, d re a ms,Hav e my own va lues, beliefs, e tc.To tell o th ers h ow I wis h to be tre at e d .To c ha nge my min d a n d m ak e mis tak es
wi th ou t being ri d icule d .To be c ha nge my life a s I d eci d eTo be happ y a n d res p ec te d by o th ers
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YOU CANN OT N OT C OMMUNICATE
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A Communic at ion Mo d el
How Well Do You Communicate
UNC ONSCI OU S INC OMPETENCE
CONSCI OU S INC OMPETENCE
CONSCI OU S C OMPETENCE
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Me d iums of Communic at ion
What me d iums of Communic at iond o you use at wor k ?
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MEDIUMS OF
WOR
KPLACECOMMUNICATI ON
Appraisals
MeetingsNewslettersNotice Boards
EMail / InternetPhoneTannoy
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What a re th e lines of communic at ion at wor k?
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INTE R PE R S ONAL E FF ECTIVENESS
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TR
ANSACTIO
NALANALYSIS
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Ego S tat e C ha r a c teris tics
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F un da men ta l In ter p erson a l S k ills
Analyse the situation
Establish a realistic objectiveSelect appropriate ways of behavingControl behaviour
Shape others behaviour Monitoring own and others behaviour.
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ST R OKING
POSITIVE
NEGATIVEPLASTIC / CROOKED
ZERO
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Con ta c t & Core Communic at ion
Able to initiate conversations with anybody
Enjoys meeting peopleRemembers personal details about peopleMatches and Mirrors verbal and non verbal
behavioursIs self confidentIs highly observant
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Lis tening & Q ues t ioning
Applies two ears and one mouth strategy
Uses positive visual and verbal signals todemonstrate listening
Ask QuestionsAllows others to complete sentences
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Su pp or ting
Provides bigger picture information
Always explains whyAllows others to say what they feel without
judgementDirectingIs clear and conciseTends to speak slowlyHas a good grip of languageGives good directions
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Confron ting & C ha llenging
Always asks WHY
Never takes things at face valueHas good questioning abilityBelieves strongly in self development
STROKINGPositiveNegativePlastic / Crooked