Teaching Desired Behavior Through Examples

adults providing examples and children imitating themTeachers are the best visual aids.

“The way in which teachers and parents treat children greatly influences how children treat each

other.”(e.g., Lickona, 1999; Putallaz & Heflin, 1990; as cited by Fields & Boesser, 2002)

Creates an “atmosphere” – whether warmth or tension

LETTING IT SHOW By listening and observing, children can figure out a lot about what

feelings are, what situations are likely to create which feelings, and how to express feelings (Hyson 1994; as cited by Fields & Boesser, 2002)

APOLOGIZING

Responses such as

“You don’t hate your sister, so don’t talk like that,” or“Have a cookie and don’t cry,”

dismiss instead of acknowledge children’s feelingsteaching children that their feelings are wrongand make them feel guilty which then leads to negative behavior

USE YOUR WORDSWith a limited vocabulary, children need help in processing

their feelings. Restate the child’s sentence in a way that addresses the cause of her feelings and the more appropriate way of expressing it.

DENYING FEELINGSAllow the child to experience all sorts of emotion, even

negative ones. “The inevitable does happen,” and children need to be prepared for whatever comes their way. Note: get

CULTURAL DIFFERENCESRe: expression of anger, respect, emotion.Get to know the parents and families beforehand to come to

an agreement.

Know children’s influences. Know where they’re coming from. Know their needs.

MODELING ACCEPTANCETeaching tolerance: of differences and accepting these differences.

MODELING KINDNESSMake time for resolving problems.Re: bullying – work with parents and work with the whole class –

involve them in making their ideal class, to arrive to an agreement.

Intellectual risks.Sciences = generating and testing hypotheses. Arts = creativity.

WHY BOTHER? For development of H.O.T.S. and autonomy which leads children to become responsible, self-directed, and self-motivated learners.

HOW TO DO IT? Face your fears, accept its existence and share.

Helping with clean-upKeeping your promises Independent use of materialsFollowing the rules

Ex. Keeping scissor points down,Pushing in chairs,Using the pedestrian lane when walking down the

street,Wearing seatbelt when on a drive, etc.

Important, powerful, nurturant people (Eisenberg, 1992; as cited by

Fields & Boesser, 2002).

1. SOMEONE SIMILAR2. SOMEONE TO BE LIKE

“They want to be like you because they like you.”MODELS OF VIOLENCE

Working with parents

BE A ROLE MODELBe kind to others

Be honest with your feelingsBe willing to try new thingsPractice what you preach

SHOW, DON’T JUST TELL

Clean upKeep promises

Be safe

Fields, M. & Boesser, C. (2002). Constructive guidance and discipline: Preschool and primary education(3rd Ed.). Ohio, USA: Merrill Prentice Hall.