8/13/2019 Summer Holiday Script http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/summer-holiday-script 1/193 Stage Adaptation by Michael Gyngell and Mark Haddigan Based on the film SUMMER HOLIDAY Directed by Peter YatesScreenplay by Peter MyersandRonald CassBy special arrangement with Studio CanalLIBRETTO / VOCAL BOOK Josef Weinberger Limited 12 - 14 Mortimer Street London W1T 3JJ Tel: +44 (0)20-7580 2827 Fax: +44 (0)20-7436 9616 [email protected] www.josef-weinberger.com
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Note s on Pe r fo rmanceBy Michael Gyngell and Mark Haddigan
I have an allergy to actor/musicians. I admire them, I can appreciate the economic need for them, butmy heart sinks as soon as I realise I’m about to watch a show that uses them. (It’s not as bad as the
other modern disease: the hidden band, they’re playing live but they’re in a soundproofed roomsomewhere, giving their all while we are denied the gritty, live experience and their work is delivered tous fully processed).
The reason I mention this is that in the 2003 production of Summer Holiday, the band was visible thewhole time - seated, standing, and in some cases squeezed into cubby holes in the ingenious set wallsdesigned by Paul Farnsworth. Drums excepted (although we tried - we couldn’t find a way to make thatwork), from the opening image, we set up the fact that the band were a part of it all, the brass, guitarsetc. and the whole cast introduced the convention that they are the show. They threw themselves aroundas they dissembled a mound of furniture and created the opening scene and beyond.
But I have to be honest, the other reason to have them around was that our Europe was vastly under-populated - we needed the bodies. If this is not possible in your production then lose no sleep. Chancesare, you have a lot more bodies than us to create a sense of the European community in other ways.
The other good-natured rant is against “theatre that looks like film.” Of course, Summer Holiday isadapted from the 1963 film of the same name, but there is no point going to the theatre and expectinga production to be as smooth and seamless or as thrilling as a film. It should be theatre - exciting,surprising, and allow the use of the least developed sense in this technological world of ours - theimagination. A sheet can become a mountain, benches on a truck become the ground floor of a double
decker bus and a bunch of suitcases become a broken-down car.
My last point is - the bus. In 1996 we mistakenly went along with the idea that the bus has to be onstage. That was the brief - ‘we must have the bus’. And so the designer and director of that productiondelivered. A full-scale bus arrived on stage, got a round of applause, all seemed happy. Unfortunately, itthen sat there like a crimson monolith for the rest of the show dwarfing everything and contributingnothing other than a reminder that this was once a film. So, in 2003, we went for a kind of ‘essence ofbus’, a particularly pretentious way of saying ‘don’t spell it out, let the audience fill in the blanks.’ Isuggest you do the same.
PL YING STYLE Truth and simplicity. It’s an irony free world. These guys have no dark side - though they are notwithout their ups and downs, they are all relative. Nowadays, a bus journey like this would be fraughtwith tension and arguments, culminating in at least one person being punched and hitch hiking home intears. But in this world, a strangely dressed ‘boy’ is immediately accepted as part of the gang, and agroup of co-workers will happily give up seven days of free time just so some lads can nip off to Francefor two weeks.
Although they are collectively referred to as the ‘kids’, the characters are quite different. DON is the
easy-going alpha male, strong, handsome and dependable. STEVE thinks he’s all of the former, but thatdoesn’t necessarily mean he is. EDWIN is the youngest, obviously a sensitive soul who, if he took his
glasses off, could play DON on weekday matinees. CYRIL is the cheeky chappy with hidden depths.ALMA is vague, quirky but innocent. MIMSIE is blonde, confident and mature. ANGIE is over-ambitiousbut has a heart of gold. Lastly, BARBARA is a sixties “Britney”, wise beyond her years.
The grown-ups, I think, are more clearly defined in the script. They are classic musical comedy grown-ups who clearly don’t understand the kids’ constant need to just have a good time and not worry aboutthe future, careers, money etc. JERRY does as he’s told, but actually holds a fair amount of power.
STELLA, despite her single-minded need to live through her daughter, does think she is doing it for allthe right reasons.
Sharply defined playing is the key to it, and above all, don’t hang about. It’s very lightweight stuff but,played snappily and truthfully, the audience should be happily carried along.
We live in a very cynical world, but what this show does remind us is that for a bunch of kids in theearly sixties, a trip abroad would be almost unthinkable, let alone affordable. It is, for them, a goldensummer, their halcyon days and above all, an unforgettable adventure.
BRIDESM IDS
There’s no underestimating the ‘ahh’ factor. We used four real kids for the bridesmaids and if you havea cute little one, she should produce the necessary ‘ahh’ in ‘L IVING D OLL ’ and beyond.
C STBRE KDOWN
This is how we broke it down in the touring version. If you have more cast members available you canshare out the smaller parts accordingly.
Late teens / early twenties:
MaleM1 EDWIN M2 CYRIL M3 STEVE M4 DON M5 GREASER /FELLA / FLOOR MANAGER / BEATNIK / JEAN D’ARM / COMMANDER /
BRIDEGROOM/ CUSTOMS MAN / WRIGHTMORE
FemaleF1 SCHOOLGIRL / FELLA / ANGIE F2 YOUNG LADY / FELLA / MIMSIE F3 YOUNG MUM / FELLA / ALMA F4 BARBARA / SANDRA F5 SCHOOLGIRL / FELLA / JOGGER / WARDROBE LADY / BEATNIK / WPC / GUARD /
The non-speaking role of ‘STRANGE LOOKING GIRL’ in the Paris Nightclub was gamely played byCharles – the ASM.
The BRIDEMAIDS were played by four local children. If you have more kids available and lots of extrabodies then by all means fill up that wedding party.
The Wedding Band, Alpine Cafe Band, Paris Nightclub Band were, not surprisingly, played by theband.
RECOMMENDED V IEWING THE YOUNG O NES , SUMMER HOLID Y and W ONDERFUL L IF E. I would also seek out the Elvis filmV IV L SV EG S for Ann Margaret in ‘What’d I Say ,’ Jean-Luc Godard’s B NDE À P RT for the ‘I
Could Easily Fall In Love With You’ dance sequence.
TH NKS…
…to all who have been involved both directly and indirectly over the years but more specifically to:Keith Strachan, Kevin Oliver Jones, Myers and Cass on whose screenplay the show is based, TheShadows (Brian Bennett, Hank Marvin, Bruce Welch etc.) and, of course, Sir Cliff Richard, GillianGregory, Paul Farnsworth, Ross King, David Watson, Anita Land, Christopher Biggins, AimiMacdonald and the cast and crew of both the original 1996 versions and the 2003 version. The
Theatre Royal, Plymouth, all at Richard Temple Productions, Bill Kenwright, David Pugh and DafyddRogers, Ron Halpern at Studio Canal, Catherine Anderson, Gavin Plumley and Patricia Macnaughton.
Lastly, a huge thanks to both the Haddigan and Gyngell families for their love and patience.
Michael Gyngell and Mark Hadd iganLondonSeptember 2004
In s t rumenta t ion Tenor Saxophone dbl. Flute & Clarinet Electric Guitar dbl. Tenor SaxTrumpet dbl. Keyboard Electric BassPiano / Keyboard dbl. Acoustic Guitar & Tenor Sax (MD) Drums
NOTE: The instrumental parts for this show are intended to be played by actor-musicians and containsome unusual doublings. If it is not possible to find musicians able to double the extra Tenor
Saxophone parts, a book containing these parts only (for use by an extra player) is available on request.
A C T O N E 1. Overture (Instrumental).............................................................................................................................. 1
SCENE ONE: A DINGY LONDON CAFÉ .................. ..................... ...................... .................. ...................... 12. Foot Tapper (Is It Still Raining?) (Wilf, Edwin, Cyril, Steve, All) ...................................................13. Seven Days To A Holiday - Part 1 (Don, Steve, Cyril, Edwin) .........................................................64. In The Country (Don, Boys) .....................................................................................................................7
SCENE TWO: SEVEN DAYS MONTAGE SEQUENCE .................... ................... ...................... .............95. Seven Days To A Holiday - Part 2 (Don, Steve, Cyril, Edwin, Fellas) ............................................9
6. Summer Holiday (Don, Boys) .................. ..................... ...................... ................... ...................... .......... 11SCENE THREE: ON THE ROAD IN FRANCE.................. ..................... ..................... ................... ......... 127. Shindig (Instrumental) .................... .................. ..................... .................... .................... ..................... ..... 128. Gee Whizz, It’s You (Mimsie, Alma, Angie) .................... .................... ...................... ................... ..... 149. Let Us Take You For A Ride (Cyril, Edwin, Don, Steve, Angie, Alma, Mimsie) ...................... 16
SCENE FOUR: A TV STUDIO........ ..................... ................... .................... ..................... ...................... .......... 1810. Constantly (Barbara) .................. ..................... ..................... ..................... ................... ..................... ........ 1811. Constantly - Reprise (Instrumental with backing vocals only) ........................................................ 21
SCENE FIVE: PARIS NIGHTCLUB............. ................... ..................... ...................... .................. ................... 2112. Round And Round (Instrumental) ................... .................. ...................... ................... ..................... ..... 21 13. I Could Easily Fall In Love With You (Steve) ................... ....................... .................. ...................... . 2214. Shindig (Instrumental) .................... .................. ..................... .................... .................... ..................... ..... 23
SCENE SIX: ON THE BUS......... ..................... ................... .................... ..................... ...................... ................. 2415. The Savage (Instrumental) .................. ..................... ...................... ..................... .................. ................... 28
SCENE SEVEN: A ROADSIDE VERGE ....................................................................................................... 2816. Time Drags By (Steve, Cyril, Edwin).................................................................................................... 28
A C T T W O SCENE ONE: AN ALPINE CAFÉ .................. ...................... ..................... ................... ...................... .............. 4423. Shindig (Instrumental) .................... .................. ..................... .................... .................... ..................... ..... 4424. Move It (Edwin) .................. ..................... ..................... ...................... ...................... ..................... ........... 44
25. A Swinging Affair (Don, Barbara) .................. ..................... ..................... ..................... ................... ..... 4826. The Frightened City (Instrumental) .................. ..................... ...................... .................. ...................... . 49
SCENE TWO: THE ITALIAN BORDER..................................................................................................... 4927. Shindig (Instrumental) .................... .................. ..................... .................... .................... ..................... ..... 52
SCENE THREE: ON THE ROAD .................................................................................................................. 52
SCENE FOUR (Part One): DRIVING TROUGH ITALY ....................................................................... 5328. I’ve Got A Funny Feeling (Edwin, Alma, Angie, Cyril, Mimsie, Steve) ......................................... 53
SCENE FOUR (Part Two): THE BRIDESMAIDS..................... ..................... ..................... ................... ..... 5629. Living Doll (Barbara, Boys, Girls) ................... ..................... ...................... ..................... ...................... . 58
SCENE FIVE: THE WEDDING RECEPTION .................... .................... ...................... ................... ......... 6030. Lei Vuole Ballare (All) .................... .................. ..................... .................... .................... ..................... ..... 6031. Do You Wanna Dance? (All) ................... ..................... ...................... ................... ...................... .......... 6032. Sleepwalk (Instrumental) ..................... ..................... ..................... .................. ..................... ................... 6233. La La La Song (Stella, Jerry, All) .................... ...................... ..................... .................. ..................... ..... 6334. The Young Ones (Don, Barbara) ................... ..................... ...................... ..................... ...................... . 65
35. The Frightened City (Instrumental) .................. ..................... ...................... .................. ...................... . 67SCENE SIX: BARI – PORTSIDE ................... ................... ..................... ...................... .................. ................... 6736. Summer Holiday (Reprise) Ferry Version (The Kids) ..................................................................... 6937. The Savage / Zorba (Instrumental) .................. ..................... ...................... .................. ...................... . 70
SCENE SEVEN: ATHENS....... .................... ...................... .................. .................... ...................... .................... . 7038. The Next Time (Don, Barbara) ................... ..................... ..................... .................... ................... ......... 72
SCENE EIGHT: THE PRESS CONFERENCE ..................... ..................... ...................... .................. ......... 7339. Big News (Don, Company) .................... ..................... ..................... ................... ...................... .............. 74
SCENE NINE: ON THE BEACH.................... ..................... ..................... ................... ...................... .............. 7640. I’m The Lonely One (Angie, Mimsie, Alma) .................... .................... ...................... ................... ..... 76
The full company and the band are onstage. The opening chords of ‘M OVE I T ’ are playedincredibly loudly. As the cast begin to set up the first scene, grabbing bits and pieces fromaround the set, the band make their way to their positions.
As the overture builds to a climax W ILF , the owner of the café, ceremoniously turns theclosed sign to open and...
SCENE ONE: A DINGY LON DON CAFE
…the lights snap up on the scene - we segue into…
Music No. 2: FOOT TAPPER IS IT STILL RAINING ?)(Wilf , Edwin, Cyril, Steve, All)
A dingy London café. The punters start to stream in, some OAP’s, a couple of school kids,a young mum, maybe a greaser. It is all very grim and grey, possibly even monochrome.
N.B. As the song progresses these other punters’ movements become more stylised andrhythmical.E DWIN enters. He is a chirpy but over-knowledgeable young man who takes things very
seriously. As he unwraps himself and shakes the rain from of his broken umbrella. W ILF
observes him with amusement. The following number is semi-spoken (or half-sung,depending on how you look at it.)
W ILF : IS IT STILL RAINING?
EDWIN : NO, I’M JUST CONSTANTLY WETRUNS IN THE FAMILY
W ILF : YOU NEED A TRIP TO THE VETWhat can I get you?
EDWIN : THERE’S NO NEED FOR A THREATONE TEA AND TOAST, TWO SUGARS
Music continues underneath. E DWIN opens a small book and sits cheerfully.
C YRIL runs past the window and bombs through the door. He is the same age as E DWIN though a thoroughly different temperament. He’s never stuck for an answer.
W ILF : IS IT STILL RAINING? CYRIL: NO, I’VE BEEN FOR A DIPIT’S ALL THE RAGE NOW
W ILF : THAT’S WHY YOU LOOK SUCH A DRIPWHAT CAN I GET YOU?
CYRIL: HOW ’BOUT AN EGG AND A CHIP?IF THAT’S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE
He jumps onto a chair next to E DWIN , who barely reacts. He flicks his damp hair ontoE DWIN ’s book. Music continues underneath.
CYRIL: Afternoon Professor. What you reading?
EDWIN : It’s a fifty year meteorological report for the London area.
CYRIL: Any good? Tea, three sugars, Wilf. Cheer up Edwin, we'll be on ourholiday in seven days.
EDWIN : Cyril. Be realistic. We cannot afford it.
A figure dashes in and furiously attempts to pull the door open. This is S TEVE . An ultrafashion-conscious lad-about-town. Bags of energy but nowhere to direct it. As he battleswith the door, getting wetter and wetter, W ILF comes round the counter and pulls the dooropen. S TEVE enters and looks around expectantly.
STEVE: (Looking in a mirror) AND NOW I LOOK LIKE A SQUARE I’m on a promise.
CYRIL: Who with? Yogi Bear?
EDWIN : Teeth like that…
CYRIL/EDWIN : MORE LIKE BUGS BUNNY
STEVE:
Frothy coffee Charlie, black, four sugars…Bugs Bunny!!
EDWIN : Glad you’re here Steve, we have a slight problem.
STEVE: I haven’t got any problems. I’m on my holiday in seven days. EDWIN : That’s just it. The holiday’s looking very ropey.
STEVE: Why?
EDWIN : Well, I’ve added up all our savings and - assuming we can hitch hikefree to the French Riviera, and taking into account present prices there,we get to stay for approximately three hours and fifteen minutes.
STEVE: (A beat) We’re still going though, yeah?
EDWIN/CYRIL: No!!!
W ILF : (Shouts) Tea’s up!
W ILF serves as in a western, sliding his coffees and teas along the counter to the music,interspersed with shouts of ‘Tea one sugar’, etc. The other punters move and dance around getting irritated with each other and, in the case of the OAP’s, quite unpleasant. The B OYS go through a ritual of who sits where on the bench.
A bar’s silence. Huge thunderclap. A young lady arrives and is about to tell them it’sraining.
STEVE: Wait a second. All this ‘three hours on holiday.’ (To E DWIN ) It’s all awind up, isn’t it? Course we’re going. You had me going for a bit.
CYRIL: Is it? Is it a wind up?
STEVE: It is, isn’t it?
E DWIN tries to speak but they don’t let him. They are too excited.
CYRIL: So go on then Edwin, where are we really going? What part of the
French Riviera must we force ourselves to enjoy?
STEVE: I can’t wait to breeze down St Tropez High St. Just wait till those birdssee me in my shorts.
CYRIL: I’ll be laying on the beach. ‘Another caviar sandwich, Brigitte?’ ‘Half aChampagne shandy please, Jean Pierre.’ Where we going?
EDWIN : Clacton.
STEVE/CYRIL: Clacton!
STEVE: Are you telling me that I’ve worked for 344 days…
CYRIL: 342.
STEVE: Eh?
CYRIL: You were off with a gippy tummy.
STEVE: Oh, yeah. 342 days! - sweated and toiled, keeping London Transport’sfinest double deckers on the road. We have all, in fact, put up with thestresses and strains of being the best bus mechanics in the building andall so we can spend two weeks playing soggy Bingo on the beach?
EDWIN : Steve. I want a holiday just as much as you. But you and Cyril are going
to have to face it. It’s two weeks in Clacton!
STEVE: We can’t stay in Britain. Look at this weather!
IF WE CAN DO IT ONCE,THEY’LL BACK US ALL THE WAY I’ve got the answer to all our holiday problems.
Music continues underneath. He gets out a toy Red London Bus and lays it carefully on thetable. All in the café have gathered round, interested.
STEVE: Bit small, isn’t it?
DON :
Here’s the plan. We borrow an old bus from London Transport, we doit up and kit it out with all mod cons and travel to the South of Franceon it. If it works out, next year we might be able to charge people forthe trip. You know run it as a business? What do you think?
STEVE: Crazy, Charlie!
EDWIN : It’s a brilliant idea. When do we start?
DON : Tomorrow. We’ve got one week to do it in or the deal’s off.
CYRIL: We? As in “us”? As in “you and me and him and him to renovate abus”? In one week?
DON : Cyril... It’s easy when you got friends. We’ll get some of the fellas at thegarage to help us. So are we all in or not?
They lock hands, á la 3 Musketeers.
DON : Gentlemen, I give you - the holiday of a lifetime!
As they burst out of this position…
Music No. 4: IN THE CO UNT RY(Don, Boys)
DON : WHEN THE WORLD IN WHICH YOU’RE LIVINGGETS A BIT TOO MUCH TO BEAR,AND YOU NEED SOMEONE TO LEAN ONWHEN YOU LOOK THERE’S NO-ONE THERE
DON/BOYS: WHERE THE AIR IS GOOD AND THE DAY IS FINEAND A PRETTY GIRL HAS HER HAND IN MINEAND THE SILVER STREAM IS A POOR MAN’S WINE
DON : IN THE COUNTRY,
DON
/BOYS
: IN THE COUNTRY
They start to move out of the cafe as the cafe set is taken offstage. The door ends up in thecentre of the stage. D ON leads everyone through the doors into the ‘open air’.
DON : IF YOU’RE WALKING IN THE CITYAND YOU’RE FEELING RATHER SMALLAND THE PEOPLE ON THE SIDEWALKSEEM TO FORM A SOLID WALL
YOU’RE GONNA FIND ME,OUT IN THE COUNTRYYEAH, YOU’RE GONNA FIND ME,WAY OUT IN THE COUNTRY
DON/BOYS: WHERE THE AIR IS GOOD AND THE DAY IS FINEAND A PRETTY GIRL HAS HER HAND IN MINEAND THE SILVER STREAM IS A POOR MAN’S WINEIN THE COUNTRY, IN THE COUNTRY
DON : HURRY, HURRY, HURRY FOR THE TIME IS SLIPPING BYYOU DON'T NEED A TICKET, IT BELONGS TO YOU AND ICOME ON AND JOIN ME,HEY, OUT IN THE COUNTRY
The cast remove their drab clothing to reveal a brighter shinier kind of clothingunderneath. Just a small glimpse of the fun and colour that is to come.
DON/BOYS: WHERE THE AIR IS GOOD AND THE DAY IS FINEAND A PRETTY GIRL HAS HER HAND IN MINEAND THE SILVER STREAM IS A POOR MAN’S WINE
The B OYS and cast disperse, leaving the OAP’s dancing happily till they realise they arealone. Embarrassed, they revert to their normal grumpy selves and exit.
SCENE TWO: SEVEN DAYS MON TAGE SEQUENCE
D ON and the B OYS are facing a small group of London Transport mechanics.
Music No. 5: SEVEN DAYS T O A H OLIDAY - Part Two(Don, Steve, Cyril, Edwin, Fellas)
DON : ...And that’s about it, fellas. If we can make it work then it’s jobs for theboys next year, but for this year it’s one whole week’s unpaid overtime.We need your help. The clock’s already running. We’ve got just…
SEVEN DAYS TO A HOLIDAYAND THERE’S SUCH A LOT TO DO
COME ON FELLAS, IT’S UP TO YOUWE’RE IN AN AWFUL STEWGET US OUT OF A SPOT,ARE YOU WITH US OR NOT?
The ‘fellas’ cheer their support immediately. The B OYS rejoice and the lights fade on themas the music builds. (Throughout the sequence everyone onstage bring on bits and pieces ofthe bus and appear to assemble it.) E DWIN daydreams.
EDWIN : SIX DAYS TO A HOLIDAYAND I CAN’T BELIEVE IT'S TRUEOF COURSE I’M NERVOUS, I’LL MISS MY MUMAND CROSSING THE CHANNEL TO FRANCEIS AVERY BIG STEPI THINK I’LL PHONE FROM DIEPPE
Activity is all around D ON as the mechanics fix up the bus.
DON : FIVE MORE DAYS, JUST FIVE MORE DAYSTO FIX UP DOZENS OF THINGS.
CYRIL: FOUR DAYS TO A HOLIDAY AND YOU KNOW I JUST CAN’T WAITTO LOUNGE AROUND ON A SUNNY BEACHTO DIP IN THE BRINY,GET ALL NICE AND SHINY AND TANIT’S ALL YOU CAN DO AT CANNES
DON : THREE DAYS TO A HOLIDAYAND THOUGH SUNNY SKIES ARE BLUE,BY THE TIME THAT IT LEAVES OUR SHEDOUR BUS WILL BE BRIGHT REDAND WE KNOW THAT WE WILL…
M ALCOLM : Paint Paree redder still.
STEVE: TWO DAYS TO A HOLIDAY
ST. TROPEZ’S THE PLACE TO BEIT’S FULL OF FILM STARS, AMAZING BIRDSPERHAPS I’LL BE PICKED FROM THE CROWDTO APPEAR IN A FLICKWITH A GORGEOUS FRENCH CHICK
DON : ONE MORE DAY, JUST ONE MORE DAYSO WE MUST NOT WASTE AN HOURCOME ON, LET’S GET THE PLUMBING INGOR BLIMEY, WHAT A SHOWER!
The B OYS have joined D ON now as they put the finishing touches to the bus.
ALL : OFF WE GO ON OUR HOLIDAY(To workers)THANKS TO YOU OUR PLAN CAME THROUGHWE’LL ESCAPE FROM THE WIND AND HAILPERHAPS THERE’S A FAIRY TALETHAT’S ABOUT TO APPEARNOW OUR HOLIDAY’S HERE,
The bus pieces finally come together to reveal the front of the bus.
The B OYS wave and shout their thanks to the fellas as they appear to move off. They sitback and relax, enjoying the start of their first holiday abroad. The road appears to bemoving underneath them.
They are all very excited, looking out front to the horizon. As the song progresses variouslocals pass by, moving upstage, and signs around the set flag up the first stages of their journey.
DON : WE’RE ALL GOING ON A SUMMER HOLIDAYNO MORE WORKING FOR A WEEK OR TWOFUN AND LAUGHTER ON OUR SUMMER HOLIDAYNO MORE WORRIES FOR ME OR YOU,FOR A WEEK OR TWO
WE’RE GOING WHERE THE SUN SHINES BRIGHTLYWE’RE GOING WHERE THE SEA IS BLUEWE’VE SEEN IT IN THE MOVIESNOW LET’S SEE IF IT'S TRUE
EVERYBODY HAS A SUMMER HOLIDAYDOING THINGS THEY ALWAYS WANTED TOSO WE’RE GOING ON A SUMMER HOLIDAYTO MAKE OUR DREAM COME TRUE,FOR ME AND YOU
WE’RE GOING WHERE THE SUN SHINES BRIGHTLYWE’RE GOING WHERE THE SEA IS BLUEWE’VE SEEN IT IN THE MOVIESNOW LET’S SEE IF IT’S TRUE
They begin to pass a French jogger who tries to race the bus and fails.
EVERYBODY HAS A SUMMER HOLIDAYDOING THINGS THEY ALWAYS WANTED TOSO WE’RE GOING ON A SUMMER HOLIDAY
NO MORE WORRIES FOR ME OR YOU,TO MAKE OUR DREAMS COME TRUE
FOR A WEEK OR TWOFOR ME AND YOU
FOR ME AND YOU
SCENE THREE: ON THE ROAD IN FRANCE
M usic No. 7: SHIN DIG Underscore)
(Instrumental)
Lights up on a medium sized model bus making its way across the stage - it disappearsoffstage only to reappear in a smaller version further upstage.
The bus passes three girls who are sitting in a battered old Mini. They are: ALMA a young,vacant looking, but ultimately aware cookie. She is checking a map. M IMSIE blonde andfeisty. And ANGIE , a hyper-enthusiastic girl who takes things very literally. ANGIE isdriving, or rather trying to start the car. After a few goes…
ANGIE: Come on Shandy, don’t give up. Come on girl…
M IMSIE: I think, Angie, you will find that Shandy is knackered.
ANGIE: Well that’s it, then we’re completely macarooned.
M IMSIE: Don’t you mean marooned, Angie?
ANGIE: I know what I mean. (Beat) Anyway, marooned means you’ve gonepurple.
M IMSIE: Whatever it is, we’re stuck.
ALMA : Why don’t we get the bus?
M IMSIE: Bus? Bus? We’re in the middle of the back of beyond. There is no bus.
DON : Oh dear… looks like this car has had it, I’m afraid. Come on, we’ll towyou to a garage.
ALMA : Oh, no. We’ve got to get to an engagement in six days. Now we’re nevergonna make it.
EDWIN : An engagement? Are you getting married?
ALMA : No, we’re a singing group. Professionals.
EDWIN : Great name.
ANGIE: No, no, no. We're called Do - Re - Mi. (To M IMSIE ) Get the tape.We’ll show you. Hit it, girls!
Music No. 8: GEE W HIZZ, IT’S YOU(Mimsie, Alma, Angie)
M IMSIE switches on their reel-to-reel tape recorder. After grabbing their microphones, theybreak into their act. Crackly FX.
WELL, WHO’S THAT A-WALKING DOWN THE STREETPICKING UP THOSE DINKY LITTLE FEET?WHO’S THE ONE THAT CATCHES MY EYEEVERY TIME HE PASSES BY?
GEE WHIZZ, IT’S YOU
In a perfect world they’d be fantastic, but their act is no more than competent. Very“fifties” and innocent, thrown together by themselves. Very charming though. The B OYS are enjoying it.
EVER SINCE WE SAID GOODBYEALL BECAUSE OF A LITTLE WHITE LIELET ME TELL YOU WHY WE PARTED
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT MY HEART SAIDGEE WHIZZ, IT’S YOUYOU’RE THE ONE THAT MAKES ME BLUEGEE WHIZZ, IT’S YOU
ANGIE: … afternoon Ladies and gentlemen. We’d like to welcome you to…name of club . My name is Angie and this is…
ALMA
: Alma!
ANGIE: And this is…
M IMSIE: Mimsie!
ALL : And together we are, DO, RE, MI…5,6,7,8…
LITTLE DARLING,WON’T YOU HEAR MY PLEAWON’T YOU PLEASE COME BACK TO MEWE CAN PICK UP WHERE WE STARTEDLISTEN NOW TO WHAT MY HEART SAIDMMM, GEE WHIZZ, IT’S YOUGEE WHIZZ, IT’S YOUGEE WHIZZ, IT’S YOUTA-DA!…
The B OYS are speechless, apart from C YRIL .
CYRIL: They are brilliant.
DON : Gentlemen, I think it’s time for a conference. (They huddle downstage,leaving the girls eyeing them suspiciously.) Well, what do you think?
STEVE: The blonde one wants me.
EDWIN : We’ve got to help them Don. Their car is ruined.
CYRIL: Yes. We are gentleman. It’s the right thing to do.
THROUGH THE COUNTRYSIDE WITH USFOR OUR BUS HAS EVERY COMFORT INSIDE
WE ARE PLEADING PLEASELET US TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE
After some playful to-ing and fro-ing and some failed attempts to start the car, the G IRLS have a quick conference as music continues.
ANGIE: Girls? (They gather round) Well as far as I can see it we’ve got twochoices. We either take a fast, clinical train to Athens or we take arickety old bus to Athens. All those in favour of the train? (ALMA puts
her hand up, M IMSIE pulls it down.) All those in favour of the bus.(Hands straight up. Except ALMA , who slowly complies.) Then lets doit. (Back to the boys) Ok boys, you’re on!!
As the girls start to sing, they gradually start to dismantle the car. (The car is made up oftheir suitcases.)
G IRLS : YOU KNOW WE WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED,THAT GASKET HOOD LOOKS PULVERISED
THE SHOCK RECOIL IS NOW REVERSEDWE’LL NEED OUR ROLL-TIN REIMBURSEDCOMPRESSION SEEP WILL SOON DISTENDTHE LEAK THAT LEAKS IN OUR BIG END
+ BOYS: THE LOUSY COKE HAS GOT A HITCHAROUND THE CHOKE ADJUSTMENT SWITCHTHE PISTON SPOUT IS DYNAMITEAND CUTTING OUT THE PARKING LIGHT
AND, FROM ITS SHAKE, YOUR OUTSIDE BRAKEIS NEEDING A NEW DRUM!
ALL : IN FACT, MAKE NO MISTAKEWE’VE REALLY HAD IT CHUM
SO RIDE WITH US, COME RIDE WITH USYOU’LL BE SATISFIED WITH USPAST THE FOREST AND THE RIVERSIDETAKE A TOUR WITH US THAT’S REALLY NATIONWIDE
BOYS : FOR AS GUIDES WE’RE REALLY QUALIFIEDYOU WILL BE COMPLETELY SATISFIED
ALL : WE ARE JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR SPECIFIEDWE’RE REPEATING, PLEASE LET US TAKE YOUFOR A RIDE WITH US, RIDE WITH USPLEASE LET US TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE
And as they begin to go off with the bags, the music plays out.
ANGIE: This is ever so nice of you boys.
CYRIL: Don’t worry, we were on way to the South of France anyway.
ANGIE: You mean Athens.
CYRIL: Sorry, Athens…
Double take.
BOYS :
Athens!
They drop the cases. Blackout.
SCENE FOUR: A TV STUDIO
Music No. 10: CON STANT LY(Barbara)
As the intro to the song plays, silhouetted in a doorway is a young woman. Though glamorous and gorgeous, she is dressed slightly older than her years.
ANNOUNCER V/O: Mesdames et Messieurs. Miss Barbara…Winters.
This is B ARBARA W INTERS , she is nineteen, possibly twenty. Having spent most of her lifein show business, she knows how to do this - sell a song and light up the stage.
BARBARA : ALL DAY I’M WALKING IN A DREAM
I THINK ABOUT YOU CONSTANTLY JUST LIKE AN EVER FLOWING STREAMYOUR MEMORY HAUNTS ME CONSTANTLYSHADOWS FALL AND I TRY
TO DRIVE YOU FROM MY MINDSO YOU’RE NO LONGER NEAR TO ME
BUT MY HEART SEES YOU THERE WITH MEEVERY SUNSET YOU SHARE WITH METHE RAIN THAT PATTERS THROUGH THE TREESREMINDS ME OF YOU CONSTANTLYYOUR NAME IS WHISPERED BY THE BREEZEAND LOVEBIRDS BRING YOUR SONG TO ME
JUST AS SURE AS THE STARSKEEP BURNING IN THE SKY
YOUR LOVE WILL STAY AFLAME IN MEA FLAME THAT BURNS SO BRIGHT,NOT ONLY THROUGH THE NIGHTBUT CONSTANTLY
JUST AS SURE AS THE STARSKEEP BURNING IN THE SKYYOUR LOVE WILL STAY AFLAME IN MEA FLAME THAT BURNS SO BRIGHT,NOT ONLY THROUGH THE NIGHTBUT CONSTANTLY
THOUGH WE MAY BE FAR APARTYOU’RE CONSTANTLYDEEP IN MY HEART
Suddenly from the back of the stalls we hear…
STELLA: No! No! Let’s do it again!!!
A loud woman thunders down the aisle.
STELLA: Barbara, what the heck is the matter with you?
The floor manager comes out, annoyed with the interruption as he talks on his headphonesto the director in the gallery. As the M AKE U P L ADY fusses around B ARBARA , a dress railfull of assorted clothes is also placed on the side of the stage.
The woman has arrived at the front of stage. This is S TELLA , B ARBARA’s mother. A womanof a certain age, a fighter who is always ready to defend her little girl, she makes EthelMerman look like a play school teacher. A quick wit, a sharp tongue and a dress sense like
Joan Collins in a blender. Tagging supportively behind is a middle-aged mouse of a man.This is J ERRY , B ARBARA’s business manager. He has penchant for loud blazers and wears
an obvious cheap hairpiece.
STELLA: What’s going on?
BARBARA : I don’t know mother. You stopped it.
STELLA: Where’s the passion? You have to believe this is the love of your life,you looked like you were making a shopping list.
BARBARA : How can I believe this person is the love of my life? I’ve never been inlove and I’ve certainly never had a life.
STELLA: Don’t get smart, young lady.
JERRY : Stella…
STELLA: Not now, Jerry. We only have twelve minutes before this goes out live.We’ll talk about it back at the hotel. (To the gallery) She’s going to be
fine, uh… tres bien! Go from the middle. (To the musicians) From themiddle! Allez.
BARBARA : I’m not doing it.
STELLA: Now come on, Barbara, we need this show! This is prime time.
BARBARA : I don’t know what I’m singing about.
STELLA: Now you need to know? Love. It’s what makes the world go round.That and money.
BARBARA : How can I sing about something I’ve never done?
STELLA: If that’s the case, tell Sinatra not to sing ‘Fly Me To The Moon’ , tellElvis not to sing ‘Jailhouse Rock’ … you-make-it-up!
STELLA: That’s right, I don’t. Nobody does but you. (J ERRY gestures for her tocalm down. She does so.) Look… just do the show tonight. Then we’ll
have a break, a little holiday, just the two of us.
BARBARA : What about Jerry?
STELLA: Oh yeah - him too, but he doesn’t count as a person, he’s an agent. Ipromise you, you’ll have time to live after you’ve had a lifelong career.Ok, sugar?
STELLA: Ok… from the middle of the bridge!!
She starts to leave down the aisle. The music starts.
Music No. 11: CON STANT LY Reprise)(Instrumental with Backing Vocals only)
STELLA: Jerry! Get Hedda Hopper on the phone. We need press coverage!
JERRY : I keep trying - she’s incommunicado.
STELLA: I don’t care where she is, I want to speak to her…
As the music swells B ARBARA refuses to sing, then she notices the clothes rail and has anidea. Quickly she grabs some clothes - jeans, a jacket and a baseball hat - and rushes off.
SCENE FIVE: PARIS NIGHTCLU B
Music No. 12: ROUND AN D RO UND
(Instrumental)
The guys arrive at a nightclub - they are feeling a bit intimidated. A small group of localbeatniks is dancing very formally to the music played by the onstage band. The kids stay atthe sides and watch. Music plays underneath the following…
STEVE: Who wants a drink? (To M IMSIE ) Charlie?
M IMSIE: My name’s Mimsie and I’m fine, thank you.
STEVE: I can see you’re fine. I just want to know if you’re thirsty, that’s all.
ANGIE: I’m Angie, by the way. We haven’t been formally introduced.
CYRIL: Sorry, my fault.
ANGIE: No, no, it’s fine. Do you dance?
CYRIL: Oh, no…
ANGIE: Just asking.
CYRIL: Oh, no… I mean I’ll dance with you. I thought you meant… oh, nevermind.
‘ROUND AND ROUND ’ ends. Some faint applause from everyone.
Music No. 13: I COULD EASILY…(Steve)
STEVE: Oh I love this one! Do you wanna dance?
M IMSIE: Yes.
She goes and dances, leaving him standing. A kind of Gallic line dance is taking place. Oneby one, they join and pick up the steps. S TEVE grabs M IMSIE and tries to charm her.
STEVE: DON’T EVER CHANGE THAT SMILEYOU’RE SMILING NOW,AND PLEASE DON’T LET ME SEE YOU BLUETHEN I CAN TELL YOU I COULD EASILY,I COULD EASILY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
She’s so not interested, but he doesn’t give up.
IF YOU SHOULD TELL ME THAT I’LL ALWAYS BETHE ONE YOU’LL ALWAYS LOVE SO TRUE
THEN I CAN TELL YOU OH SO EASILY,I COULD EASILY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
She’s not interested, so S TEVE rushes back up to try ALMA.
I’VE BEEN TOO LONG ON MY OWNSOME NOW,I’VE BEEN TOO LONG BY MYSELFI COULDN’T FEEL MORE LONESOME NOW,IF I WAS LEFT ON THE SHELF
He moves on to ANGIE .
IT WASN’T LONG AGO I SAW YOU THERE.BUT EVEN THEN I THOUGHT I KNEW,THAT GIVEN HALF A CHANCE I’D EASILY,I COULD EASILY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
I’VE BEEN TOO LONG ON MY OWNSOME NOW,I’VE BEEN TOO LONG BY MYSELFI COULDN’T FEEL MORE LONESOME NOW,IF I WAS LEFT ON THE SHELF
No luck. So finally to the strange looking girl who’s definitely on her own.
DON’T EVER CHANGE THAT SMILEYOU’RE SMILING NOW.AND PLEASE DON’T LET ME SEE YOU BLUETHEN I CAN TELL YOU OH SO EASILY,I COULD EASILY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUI COULD EASILY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
S TEVE makes a grab for her - she seems interested. She turns around - it is obvious thatthe girl is a boy. S TEVE is terrified.
STEVE: Come on guys… we’ve got to go… !
Music No. 14: SHINDIG(Instrumental)
If they are able to, the band should move forward, “à la Shadows”, during the followingscene change. In the original production, five small trucks which slotted together (withappropriate bus furniture on them) formed the lower floor of the double decker.
S TEVE grabs a potato masher, E DWIN a rolled up newspaper and C YRIL a large spoon.They creep to the edge of the curtain. The G IRLS are cowering behind a bench.
ALMA : Be careful, boys.
ANGIE: Yes, don’t do anything rash.
Preparing for the worst, D ON dramatically pulls back the curtain. They are disappointed todiscover B ARBARA , although B ARBARA dressed as a fourteen year old boy in her baseball
hat and jeans.
STEVE: Oi mate, what do you think you’re doing in there?
DON : What do you know, our first stowaway.
They pull her in.
ALMA : What’s happening?
CYRIL: We’ve found a French midget.
ANGIE: What?
The G IRLS rush out. The following dialogue overlaps chaotically.
ANGIE: It’s a boy. Aaah.
M IMSIE: Oh, bless him.
ALMA : Can’t he talk?
EDWIN : He can’t understand you, he must be a native.
STEVE: Are you lost Charlie? Et vous lost?
ANGIE: Are you hungry? Eh? Mange? (She nods.) Wait there a second…
DON : Well we can’t leave him here, that’s a certainty.
STEVE: Maybe we should drop him off at the next Police Station.
EDWIN : No - if we do that we’ll get caught up in loads of red tape which willput us back a few days. Don’t forget, we’ve still got Switzerland, Italy,and a ferry to Greece to get through in only four days. Not that I’mcounting.
DON : So, do we take him? (They all show thumbs up) Then let’s do it.
STEVE: Crazy.
They nip back in.
DON : Well it looks as if you’ve got yourself a ride. Uh…actually, we don’tknow your name, what is it?
BARBARA : Bah… Bah… Bobby.
DON : Well, Bobby. Welcome on board. I’m Don and this is… everyone else.(They all say hello together) Well, I guess we’d better turn in, everyone.It’s an early start tomorrow.
The girls go out as if to go upstairs (but make their way offstage).
M IMSIE: ’Night. Did you boys put the luggage on my bed?
STEVE
: Yeah, that’s right, and the champagne’s on the roof terrace.
ANGIE: Oh, really?…
STEVE: Yeh!
ANGIE: Oh, very funny, ha, ha.
The girls have now all gone. Lights fade as the B OYS get into bed etc.
ALMA : (Off) Goodnight everyone. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.
STEVE: Bobby, where are you going? The girls are upstairs the boys are downhere.
BARBARA : Oh, alright.
B ARBARA grabs a blanket and turns to go straight to sleep on a seat.
DON : Do you always sleep with your coat on?
BARBARA : Yes. Goodnight.
ANGIE: (Off) Sweet dreams.
STEVE: ’Night, Charlie.
M IMSIE: (Off) See ya. Wouldn’t want to be ya.
EDWIN : Goodnight.
They are all tucked up. Silence. A loud raspberry.
ALL : Oh, Cyril!
Music No. 15: THE SAVAGE(Instrumental)
SCENE SEVEN: A ROADSIDE VERGE
As the medium-sized model bus crosses the stage in the dark with its internal lights on, the
trucks for the interior scene are struck. The bus slows down and eventually stops. Musicfades. Lights slowly up on the scene.
The next morning. A perfect, still morning spoilt only by the fact that the bus won’t start.The model bus is upstage, on its side, being repaired by D ON . The G IRLS are practisingtheir routines being watched and occasionally helped by B ARBARA. The rest of the boys arebored, C YRIL reading the back of the paper, E DWIN reading a guide book.
Music No. 16: TIME D RAGS BY
(Steve, Cyril, Edwin)
STEVE: SITTIN’ IN THE SUN LIKE AN OLD TOM CATTHAT DON’T KNOW JUST-A WHERE HE’S AT
B ARBARA hangs back to unwrap the paper and read it.
BARBARA : “Barbara Winters reported missing…mother distraught…blah, blah,blah (She skims over the unnecessary details) …possible kidnapping!!!”…Oh no, mother!…
She grabs a phone and dials quickly. We hear it ringing on the opposite side of the stage.
J ERRY comes on carrying a telephone on a long lead.
JERRY : Stella Winters’ Suite.
BARBARA : Jerry, thank God it’s you and not mother.
JERRY : Oh, don’t worry about her, she’s meditating. Getting in touch with herchakra.
We hear S TELLA meditating off stage right.
JERRY : How are you?
BARBARA : I’m fine. How are you?
JERRY : Well, I’ve put cream on it, but it’s still there!
S TELLA bursts onstage.
STELLA: Jerry! Do you mind? (Realises he’s on the phone) Sorry if I’minterrupting your happy hour, but will you get off the damn phone?!
JERRY : Of course, sorry! Barbara, are you still there? Your mother wants me…
S TELLA throws herself at the phone.
STELLA: Give me that phone. (Into phone) Barbara, where are you? (Stella putsher hand over the phone. Looks at Jerry ) Put a trace on this call!! ( Jerrylooks at her blankly ) Trace the call! (Still nothing) Tap the phone, forChrist’s sake!!!
J ERRY thinks for a moment then lightly taps the phone.
STELLA: No! Find out where she’s ringing from.
J ERRY goes out to do so.
STELLA: (To phone) Barbara, where are you ringing from?
BARBARA : I could tell you mother, but I wont. I’m fine, please don’t look for me. Ijust need a few days away to think.
STELLA: Why can’t you tell me? Have they got a gun? How much do they want?10K? 50K? 100K? Those evil pigs, how dare they only ask for a 100K!You’re worth a million, at least!!
BARBARA : For heaven’s sake, Mother. No one has kidnapped me. I’m having morefun than I’ve ever had and I’m not coming back.
D ON comes down to get her.
DON : Come on, Bobby. We’ve got to get going.
B ARBARA puts on a butch voice.
BARBARA : (To phone) It’s great talking to you Johnny. Stay out of trouble, ok?Cool.
D ON is now out of earshot.
STELLA: (Stella puts her hand over the receiver.) She’s on drugs, they’ve druggedher!! (To Barbara) Wait a second. Is this is a crazy joke to test my lovefor you and you’re actually in the hotel lobby? What a gal. That’s great.You got me.
BARBARA : It’s not a joke.
STELLA: Why don’t you just kick out all my teeth and wear them as a necklace?!
STELLA: Calm down, she tells me? Calm down? That’s like telling the Pope tolift up his skirt and show a little leg. It ain’t gonna happen.
BARBARA : I’ll call you in a couple of days. Bye.
She drops the phone and rushes away, but it doesn’t cut off.
STELLA: Come back here young lady or I swear to God I'll reach down thisphone and drag you back here. Are you listening? Are you? She’s gone. Jerry!! Where was she phoning from?
JERRY : (Coming triumphantly through the doors.) She was phoning from ahotel suite in Paris.
S TELLA screams and lunges for J ERRY . He protects his hairpiece.
JERRY : Not the Sheitel!
Blackout.
M usic No. 17: LES GIRL S(Instrumental)
SCENE EIGHT: THE SHOW ER
D ON is in the shower. B ARBARA walks past to get something. D ON pops his head out.
DON : Hey Bobby, can you pass me a towel!?
Barbara is really embarrassed but does so.
BARBARA : There you go.
He reaches out to get the towel. She goes to rush away, embarrassed.
DON : Hey, don’t go away, I’d like to speak to you a moment.
BARBARA : About what?
DON : About you? (He is drying himself off. She doesn’t know where to putherself. During the following, he dresses.) Bobby, I’m not doubting all
that you’ve told us but I think you’re holding out. Pass me my shorts,would you? (She does so but is mortified. If she had tongs she would
use them.) Thanks. Towel? (He is now out of the shower. She holds thetowel for him, covering his modesty and trying not to look.) Nowwhatever the reason for running away, you can tell me about it. Maybe Ican help you out. Ok?
BARBARA : Sure. Is that all?
DON : Yeah, I guess so.
He is quite close now and still bare-chested. She may pass out.
BARBARA : I’ll get your shirt. (She does so.) Oh no, it’s ripped. Do you want me tosew it up for you… because that’s not going to happen.
DON : Sew it up? Me?
BARBARA : Maybe you need a woman to look after you.
DON : No mate, not me. Girls are great, but at a distance. They get serious tooquickly.
BARBARA : Yeah. They don’t think the same way we do, do they?
DON : Do you know? You are so right.
Music No. 18: BACHELO R BOY(Don, Boys)
As the song progresses D ON finishes getting dressed. Much to the embarrassment ofB ARBARA , she finds herself in increasingly awkward positions.
DON : WHEN I WAS YOUNG MY FATHER SAID“SON, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY”AND WHAT HE OLD ME I’LL NEVER FORGETUNTIL MY DYING DAY, HE SAID
“SON YOU ARE A BACHELOR BOYAND THAT’S THE WAY TO STAYSON YOU BE A BACHELOR BOY
DON : Don’t get involved. It’s a bit of fun, sure, but once your heart takes overthen it all becomes muddy. I got burnt once. Never again.
BARBARA : But what about closeness and doing things as a couple and sharing yourlife with someone… that I’ve heard about.
DON : Overrated mate, overrated. Don’t allow a woman to own you.
WHEN I WAS SIXTEEN I FELL IN LOVEWITH A GIRL AS SWEET AS CAN BEBUT I REMEMBERED JUST IN TIMEWHAT MY FATHER SAID TO ME, HE SAID
“SON YOU ARE A BACHELOR BOYAND THAT'S THE WAY TO STAYSON YOU BE A BACHELOR BOY
UNTIL YOUR DYING DAY”
BARBARA : What if she doesn’t want to own you? Just wants to be with you whenshe can and let you have freedom to breath.
S TEVE , E DWIN and C YRIL arrive.
DON : It’s easy to be confident about something you’ve never experienced. Youare only fourteen.
BARBARA : Oh yes. I’d forgotten.
DON : AS TIME GOES BY I PROBABLY WILLMEET A GIRL AND FALL IN LOVETHEN I’LL GET MARRIED,HAVE A WIFE AND A CHILDAND THEY’LL BE MY TURTLE DOVESBUT UNTIL THEN
AND THAT'S THE WAY I’LL STAYHAPPY TO BE A BACHELOR BOY
UNTIL MY DYING DAY
I’LL BE A BACHELOR BOYAND THAT'S THE WAY I'LL STAYHAPPY TO BE A BACHELOR BOYUNTIL MY DYING DAY
Blackout.
Music No. 19: THE SAVAGE(Instrumental)
SCENE NINE: STELLA’S HOTEL SUITE
A lightly disguised J ERRY rushes across the stage looking for S TELLA. She is lying on a sofaupstage talking seductively on the phone.
JERRY : Stella!
STELLA: I’ll call you back, Rodney.
She puts the phone down.
JERRY : Stella! Stella!
J ERRY runs in, excited.
STELLA: You’re late!
JERRY : Yeah, I couldn’t get in the building. It’s a wall of journalists down there.They’re not letting anyone in. Hence the disguise. Any word fromBarbara?
JERRY : As in good good. Good in a very good way, as in goodie goodie gumdrops. Why do you think all the press are piling up outside? Barbara.Missing. In peril. When she was here she couldn’t get an inch of presscoverage. But now she’s not here, she’s on the front page.
STELLA: Good.
JERRY : Just look at this headline. (He pulls out a paper from his overcoat .)“Où est Barbara?” (And another) “Barbara - C’est fini?” (And yetanother ) It’s even made the British papers - “Barbara WintersAbducted by Aliens.”
STELLA: This is great… Does it mention me? (Reading paper ) I am not FortyEight!!!
She throws down the paper.
JERRY : Oh, that reminds me. Hedda Hopper rang from L.A.
STELLA: Oh really?
JERRY : She heard all about it - having met you she couldn’t understand whyBarbara hadn’t run away years ago.
STELLA: Oh isn’t that sweet?
JERRY : Yeah!
STELLA: Where did Barbara ring from again?
JERRY : Charmont.
STELLA: (To J ERRY ) Right, we’d better get down to Charmont to make sure she
stays there and undiscovered.
JERRY : She’s not going to be there now, is she? The man I spoke to said theywere on a London Bus on their way to Greece.
STELLA: No, we’ve got to stop them. If we can keep ’em off the main roads for acouple more days then the whole world will be worried about her.
JERRY : And in a week, she’ll be a national heroine.
STELLA: So where’s the next stop?
JERRY : Hang on I’ll look for it. (He checks a map) Wait a second. Are yousure it was Barbara? That man told me that the call was made by a boy.
STELLA: Of course it was Barbara. I should know her voice when I hear it. She
was disguised. Though why she’s covering up her lovely hair I don’tknow.
JERRY : Basle. (Pronounced Basil)
STELLA: She’s changed her name?
JERRY : Basle, Switzerland. They’ve got to go through there, there’s a mountainin the way.
STELLA: OK. Leave this to me. (She grabs the phone and dials.) I know theAmerican Ambassador, charming man. (Into the phone) Hello, Rodney?(confidentially) It’s “Marshmallow”. Listen Sweetheart, I need a favour.There’s a Red London bus on its way to the Swiss border with a bunchof kids on board. Now I’ve reason to believe that they do not have alicence to carry passengers…
JERRY : That’s very clever, but what about when they find out that it’s not true?They’ll let them carry on travelling.
STELLA: (Covering the mouthpiece) I know. I know that. Hang on! (To phone.She is a little embarrassed) I’m wearing them now.
JERRY : (Afraid to ask) What did he give you?
She points to earrings. He is relieved.
STELLA: I saw them pick up passengers right before my eyes and chargemoney…Can I leave that with you snake-hips? You know how I hate
confrontation. You are a darling man. This is your little Marshmallowsaying goodbye!
She puts the phone down triumphantly.
STELLA: See!
JERRY : Marshmallow? (Stella lunges for him) Not the Sheitel …
Blackout.
Music No. 20: LES GIRLS / VALD EREE(Instrumental)
Lights up on the model bus crossing the stage as a large piece of white tarpaulin isceremonially brought on stage by two officials (J EAN D’ ARM and WPC). Slowly, one sideis raised like a sail. The bus passes underneath it and a much smaller bus appears round theside of the cloth. It makes its way up the edge of the cloth. Lit well, this then looks amountain. Lit badly, it’ll look like laundry!
SCENE TEN: SWITZERLAND
A local Policeman blows his whistle, the music stops and the kids enter. They are carryingtheir luggage, bedding, guitars and most of their worldly goods. They have been thrown offthe bus.
JEAN D’ARM : You have been reported as travelling with no licence.
WPC: You are strangers in this country - you should respect the laws.
JEAN D’ARM : You cannot travel further and your bus will be impounded.
ALMA : Oh, no. We’re done for.
WPC: Keys?
E DWIN has to hand him the keys to the bus. The guys all moan.
DON : No, no. It’s ok, I’ve got an idea. (To Jean) Monsieur. We areperformers. You know… pop group?
He laughs. They laugh nervously with him. He stops. They stop.
DON : (To G IRLS ) You’ve got to do something. Prove we’re legitimate.
STEVE: Think of something, Charlie.
ALMA : I could show him a time step.
EDWIN : We’ll never convince him we’re all in a group. We’re done for.
ANGIE: Now come on guys. We can do it. We’re going to busk like we’ve neverbusked before.
M IMSIE: It’s nine o’clock in the morning!!! I don’t do Matinees.
CYRIL: Come on guys, it’s our only chance!
DON : So are we all in? Then let’s go! A-1,2,3,4!!
Music No. 21: DAN CING SHO ES(Angie, Mimsie, Alma, Barbara, Boys)
D ON plays the guitar. The other boys shake whatever they can while the girls use theirmikes and “busk” a routine.
ANGIE: YOU MUST HAVE HEARD OF A-LITTLE BO BEEPSHE WAS THE GIRL WITH ALL THE SHEEPWELL ONE DAY, IT’S A-SAD TO SAYTHE SHEEP ALL RAN AWAYSHE WAS LONELY AND SHE WAS BLUESHE WAS SAD AND A-CRYIN’ TOOSO I TOLD HER WHAT TO DOI SAID PUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOES
G IRLS : PUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESPUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESPUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESAND DANCE AWAY YOUR BLUES
M IMSIE: A FRIEND OF MINE HAD AN ACCIDENTLAUGHED SO HARD, OFF THE WALL HE WENTA-HUMPTY DUMPTY WAS HIS NAMEI GUESS YOU HEARD THE SAMEHE WAS LYING ON THE GROUNDA-BITS AND PIECES ALL AROUNDSO I TOLD HIM WHAT TO DOI SAID PUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOES
G IRLS : PUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESPUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESPUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESAND DANCE AWAY YOUR BLUES
The girls do a big dance routine. Against his better judgement the policeman is tapping hisfeet. The WPC is harder to please and wants to go.
ALMA : I’M SURE YOU KNOW ABOUT JACK AND JILLTHEY’RE THE ONES THAT WENT UP THE HILL JACK FELL DOWN BROKE HIS CROWN JILL CAME TUMBLING AFTERWHAT A NOISE THEIR CRYING MADEIT WAS A-RINGING THROUGH THE GLADESO I TOLD THEM WHAT TO DOAND I CHANGED THEIR TEARS TO LAUGHTER
G IRLS +EVERYONE ELSE : PUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOES
PUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESPUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESAND DANCE AWAY YOUR BLUES
PUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESPUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESPUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOES
DON : Well?
The policeman throws the keys over to Don. They cheer. All the girls give the policeman akiss. Cyril goes to give the WPC a kiss but thinks better of it. They launch themselves intothe next song and a party ensues.
DON : MOMMY SAYS NO, DADDY SAYS NOBROTHER SAYS NO, BUT THEY ALL GOTTA GO’CAUSE WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH…)
IF WE DIDN’T GO AHEAD,
IF WE THOUGHT OF ALL THEY SAIDMIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP, MANWE MIGHT AS WELL BE DEADOH WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH…)
WE’RE A-MOVIN’ UP FRONTSINGIN’ OUR SONGALL THE ONES THEY TAUGHT USTHEY’RE ALL DEAD AND GONEOH WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH…)
WE’LL AIM FOR THE SKYKEEP ON SHOOTIN’ HIGH
FORGET ABOUT THOSE PROBLEMS BABYDON’T JUST SIT AND SIGHOH WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH…)
NOW MOMMY SAYS YEAH, DADDY SAYS YEAHBROTHER SAYS YEAH,
WELL MAYBE THEY’RE NOT SO SQUAREWE ALL SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE ALL SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)
Gradually Barbara’s dancing gets wilder and wilder. Everyone else stops and admireshim/her. Unfortunately, her baseball cap comes off and her long hair flops down. The party stops. Everyone stares. Silence.
DON : Bobby?
ANGIE: Bobby?
CYRIL: You need a haircut, mate.
Final chord of W E S AY Y EAH . Then quick blackout. Curtain in.
Halfway through the song, the curtain rises on the terrace of an out-of-season mountainrestaurant, a few chairs and tables around. W ILF ’s long-lost twin is serving everyone milk.The band are on stage and our K IDS have taken over the place and are conducting animpromptu jam session. E DWIN plays a guitar. C YRIL accompanies on the harmonica and
S TEVE on the bongos. M IMSIE shakes her maracas, ALMA wildly plays the spoons andANGIE reluctantly bangs a wood block. Subject to availability, some of these can be mimed.The song ends.
The K IDS start to move away. The lead guitarist plays the first three notes of ‘M OVE I T ’ toE DWIN as a challenge (think ‘D UELLING B ANJOS ’ from ‘D ELIVERANCE ’). E DWIN playsthem back. The guitarist plays some more, E DWIN plays it back. Before we know it we areinto the song.
Music No. 24: MO VE IT(Edwin)
As he sings, he throws himself around with a great deal of energy, no skill, but a lot ofcharm.
EDWIN : COME ON PRETTY BABYLET’S A-MOVE IT AND A-GROOVE IT!SHAKE OH BABY SHAKE, BUT HONEYPLEASE DON’T LOSE ITTHE RHYTHM THAT GETSINTO YOUR HEART AND SOULWELL LET ME TELL YOU BABYIT’S CALLED ROCK AND ROLL
THEY SAY IT’S GONNA DIEBUT HONEY PLEASE LET’S FACE ITTHEY JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT’SA-GOIN’ TO REPLACE IT
WELL BALLADS AND CALYPSOSHAVE GOT NOTHIN’ ONA REAL COUNTRY MUSICTHAT JUST DRIVES ALONG
COME ON PRETTY BABYLET'S A-MOVE IT AND A-GROOVE IT!SHAKE OH BABY SHAKE, BUT HONEYPLEASE DON’T LOSE ITTHE RHYTHM THAT GETSINTO YOUR HEART AND SOULLET ME TELL YOU BABYIT’S CALLED ROCK AND ROLL
THEY SAY IT’S GONNA DIEBUT HONEY PLEASE LET’S FACE ITTHEY JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT’SA-GOIN’ TO REPLACE ITBALLADS AND CALYPSOSHAVE GOT NOTHIN’A REAL COUNTRY MUSICTHAT JUST DRIVES ALONGA-HONEY MOVE ITA-HONEY MOVE ITWELL A- MOVE IT
Towards the end of the song E DWIN has been getting more ‘rock and roll’, lots of jumpsand turns, caught up in the music. At the finish he collapses, exhausted. During theapplause he gets up, a little bit shocked and embarrassed that he did it. The K IDS
congratulate him. S TELLA arrives on the other side of the terrace.
STELLA: Jerry!! (She realises she is alone) Stop sulking. Will you come out from
behind there?
JERRY : (Offstage) I feel stupid.
STELLA: Trust in your feelings honey. Now come on!
J ERRY appears. He is wearing a milkmaid’s outfit.
STELLA: You see? Nobody noticed.
JERRY : I still don’t see why you had to give the guard my suit.
EDWIN : Don! Where’ve you been? We’ve been really worried about you.
ANGIE :
Did you find her?
DON : No, no sign of her anywhere. I guess she was too embarrassed.
ALMA : No, I remember her saying how pleased she was that we knew the truth.
CYRIL: What, the truth about being a ‘female transvestite’?
Barbara enters in a dress, looking sensational. E DWIN doesn’t see her.
EDWIN : She’s not a female transvestite. Bobby…Barbara, whatever her name
is…is a bit mixed up, I suppose. Perhaps she’s just a little crazy or mad,you know, Americans… She’s right behind me, isn’t she?…
BARBARA : I guess I have some explaining to do about my behaviour.
STEVE : (Taking a seat) This should be good.
BARBARA : Well, I’m sorry if I’ve deceived you. The thing is…I guess I didn’t thinkit through…I’m sorry. There’s a lot of reasons why I need to get away.In time I’ll be able to tell you why, but for now…can I stay?
M IMSIE: Girls?
DON : Guys?
Thumbs up.
M IMSIE: Then it’s a deal
CYRIL: Let’s drink to it. Garçon! More drinks, Sylvia Plath.
They all chat wildly. As they move away, D ON and B ARBARA are momentarily next to eachother. There is an awkward pause.
DON : I…uh, I guess I must be a bit of a joke to you, eh?
BARBARA : What do you mean?
DON : Well, because of all those things I said to you yesterday.
BARBARA : Oh, the ‘bachelor boy’. On the contrary, I agree with you. Why shoulda girl think that she owns a fellow just because she holds his hand?
Things should be easy and casual.
DON : Fun?
BARBARA : That’s right, fun. You know, swinging.
He thinks for a second.
DON : Yeah, swinging. You know, I could be interested in you.
BARBARA : Really?
DON : Absolutely…
Music No. 25: A SWING ING AFFAIR(Don, Barbara)
DON : OURS WILL BE A SWINGING AFFAIR
WE WONT BE TIED, WE’LL BE AS FREE AS AIRFOR WE WON’T CARE WHAT TOMORROW BRINGSIT’LL BE JUST ONE OF THOSE SWINGING THINGS
OURS WILL BE A SWINGING AFFAIRWE WILL JUST BE A VERY CASUAL PAIRFOR LOVE WON’T MAKE US AN APRIL FOOLNOW WE’VE BOTH DECIDED TO PLAY IT COOL
BARBARA : WE’LL SHARE A FEW LAUGHS,WE’LL SHARE AN ODD DATEWE’LL SHARE A FEW KISSESWHEN IT’S GROWING LATEAND THOUGH THE STARS AND THE MOONMAY SHINE UP ABOVE,WE’LL ENJOY THE MAGICBUT WE WON’T FALL IN LOVE.
BOTH : OURS WILL BE A RING-A-DING-DING JUST FOR KICKS WE TWO WILL HAVE OUR FLINGAND WE’LL HAVE FUN WHILE THERE’S TIME TO SPAREFOR WE’LL BOTH ENJOY OUR SWINGING AFFAIR
She taps one of the boys on the shoulder and dances with him. Gradually she includes all
the boys in the fun, but eventually she ends up next to Don.
BOTH : WE’LL ENJOY THE MAGICBUT WE WON’T FALL IN LOVE
OURS WILL BE A RING-A-DING-DING JUST FOR KICKS WE TWO WILL HAVE OUR FLINGAND WE’LL PRETEND WE ARE NOT AWARETHIS IS MORE, SO MUCH MORE
THAN A SWINGING AFFAIR
As they all disperse…
ANGIE : Come on everyone, we’ve got to get moving. The Italianborder closes in three hours!
CYRIL: Guys!
D ON and B ARBARA are about to kiss when C YRIL comes between them - they end upkissing him. As they react, blackout.
Music No. 26: THE FR IGHTEN ED CITY(Instrumental)
SCENE TWO : THE ITALIAN BORDER
The model bus crosses the stage. It is dark. As it exits…
We see the bus headlights pull up and approach offstage. Suddenly a huge floodlight isswitched on, followed by a series of smaller beams from the band and everywhere possible.On loudhailers we repeatedly hear…
GUARDS : (On loudhailers) Per cortesia scendete dalla autobus! (“Please make your way out of the vehicle”.)
The K IDS quickly assemble in a line-up with their hands in the air. A B ORDER G UARD stands and stares at them.
EDWIN : …Is this ‘cos Cyril shouted “Mussolini” out of the window? I promiseyou he didn’t mean anything by it. (The G UARD looks sharply towardshim.) But if it’s a crime, he made me do it.
The G UARD starts to systematically frisk the K IDS .
ANGIE : What do you think they’re looking for?
STEVE : I knew we shouldn’t have tried to smuggle a bus.
CYRIL: Here, look out! I’m British, you know? I’ve got a British Passport. Look,there’s my face. (He looks at the passport himself.)
M IMSIE: Maybe they’re looking for offensive weapons.
S TEVE starts to say something but D ON stops him.
STEVE : I…
DON : Leave it!
ALMA : What do they wear in Italian prisons?
EDWIN : Don’t panic, Alma. We won’t have to go to prison.
ANGIE : Of course not.
M IMSIE: We’re innocent, after all.
STEVE : Try telling that to ‘Charletto Frostini’ over there.
They all smile at the F EMALE G UARD . She shakes her head and remains frosty.
CYRIL: It’ll be fine - I’ll explain, use my charm.
STEVE : (To ANGIE ) Twelve months. With good behaviour, we’ll be out in six.
CYRIL: Hello! Please - let - me - explain. (Very fast, with lots of appropriate gestures.) We’re London bus mechanics on our way to the St. Tropezin a Bus, or rather we were, till we met these lovely girls, who are asinging group on their way to Athens, which is in Greece, so we decidedto drive them there ‘cos they broke down, bit out of our way but we’revery easy going, so all going well till we find this French midget whoalso happens to be on his way to Athens, so we give him a lift as well,back on track, lots of laughs, arm punching, dancing etc, etc, then -spanner in the works, we get stopped by some Swiss police people, bit
grumpy to start with but they warmed up lovely, we’ll keep in touch,Christmas cards and so on, only then, the midget boy turns out to be amidget girl, well not midget for a girl, she’s just right, all in the rightplace and everything, bit odd, was a boy - now a girl, but we’re goingwith it, so right now we’re trying to get to the port of Bari, which incase you didn’t know, imagine Italy’s a boot, Bari’s on the heel, so we’retrying to get there to catch the only ferry this week to get the girls, thesinging group, remember them, to Greece in time for their gig, if wedon’t get there, no gig, hence us here, you there, and so we’re notcriminals or anything, clearly there’s been some terriblemisunderstanding! (He has run out of breath. He gets it back.) So, we’lljust go…
They start to leave. She barks at them to stop. Another guard rushes on holding S TELLA’s pendant and presents it to the guard. B ARBARA recognises it and has to do some quickthinking. She lunges forward.
GUARD : Otro Vato Questo.
BARBARA : No, that’s mine. Look it’s mine…you see?
B ARBARA opens the clasp on the pendant to reveal a photo of herself which she offers tohim for inspection. The K IDS all lean in and have a look. ALMA : Oh yes, look. It’s a picture of you. How old were you ?
STELLA: Probably. She’s got very sensitive skin. This is cold (Throws the Pizzaback into the Picnic hamper). Anyways…at least the bus is off the road.
My Baby is becoming a huge star.
The small model bus drives noisily past them. Sounds of laughter, music etc. They watch itslowly disappear off the other side of the stage…
JERRY : Sorry where was I?…Aah…
They realise it’s the K IDS and react.
STELLA: We’ve gotta get ’em off the main road or she’ll get recognised and beobscure all over again. Where did you park the car?
JERRY : I gave the keys to the man.
STELLA: What man?
JERRY : The man who asked for the keys.
STELLA: Was this the man who asked you to put your head in the oven? Yougave away my car!!!? How are we gonna follow that bus now?
JERRY : My cousin has a car.
STELLA: Can chimps drive? Find me some transport, you big numbskull!
As they leave…
SCENE FOU R (Part One): DRIVING T HRO UGH ITALY
Music No. 28: I’VE GOT A FUNN Y FEELING(Edwin, Alma, Angie, Cyril, Mimsie, Steve)
…we see E DWIN onstage driving the bus and ALMA behind him reading the map. They areapparently driving fast. ALMA is panicking, trying to read the road signs. Music vampsunder the dialogue until the kiss.
EDWIN : Hurry up, Alma. There’s a junction coming up.
EDWIN : Quickly. I’m driving in a second language remember.
ALMA : Hang on…Turin! Turn right.
He starts to indicate right.
ALMA : No, Milan! Left!
He starts to indicate left.
ALMA : No! Keep going straight. Straight. Yes, that’s right. Keep on this road
till you get to Genoa. (She is relieved. He is stressed out.) This is funisn’t it?
He looks at her, tries to stay annoyed, but can’t. They break up laughing.
EDWIN : You’re mad.
She kisses him on the cheek.
EDWIN/ALMA : I’VE GOT A FUNNY FEELING THATI’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUI’VE GOT A FUNNY FEELING THATI’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUEVERY DAY AND NIGHTI DREAM OF DREAMS OF YOUYES, I GOT A FUNNY FEELING THATI’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU
They move away as we see ANGIE and C YRIL on board the bus.
ANGIE : Well, the immediate plan, if we get to Athens on time, is to startperforming in this club and take it from there. But we’d love to get intorecords. Girl groups are going to be really big.
CYRIL: Well if you need a manager or something…
ANGIE : Oh no, we’ll manage ourselves.
CYRIL: But…you’re a girl.
ANGIE : (Outraged) What difference does that make? Haven’t you heard of theWomen’s movement?
She realises that he’s been winding her up. They start laughing.
ANGIE/CYRIL: MY HEART GOES BOBBIN’EVERY TIME I GET A SIGHT OF YOUMY HEART GOES BOBBIN’EVERY TIME I GET A SIGHT OF YOU JUST SAY THE WORDAND TELL ME THAT I’LL DO’CAUSE I GOT A FUNNY FEELING THAT
I’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU
They go and we see Steve is now driving with Mimsie on map duty. Mimsie isconcentrating really hard.
STEVE : You’re a good map reader, Charlie.
M IMSIE: Well that’s a first.
STEVE : What?
M IMSIE: A compliment from you.
STEVE : What do you mean? I’m always giving you compliments.
M IMSIE: No you’re not.
STEVE : Well...would you like some more compliments?
M IMSIE: Worth a go.
STEVE : (He cant think of one) Ummm…
M IMSIE gets distracted by something on the map and misses the whole of the followingverse.
STEVE : I’VE GOT A FUNNY FEELING THATI’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU
I’VE GOT A FUNNY FEELING THATI’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUEVERY DAY AND NIGHTI DREAM OF DREAMS OF YOU
YES, I GOT A FUNNY FEELING THATI’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU
M IMSIE: Sorry, did you say something?
STEVE: No, not important. We should be getting to Rome pretty soon. How
far is it?
M IMSIE: In kilometres or in minutes?
STEVE: In English.
She laughs and playfully clips him round the ear.
M IMSIE: You are too cheeky for your own good. 12kms to Rome. Shame we
can’t stop. Cup of tea?
STEVE: Yeah. D’you know you make superb tea…
M IMSIE: Don’t push your luck. Oh, by the way, I’ve got a ‘funny feeling’ too.
STEVE: Oh, right. (He realises.) Oh right!
STEVE/M IMSIE: I GOT A FUNNY FEELING THAT
I’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUI GOT A FUNNY FEELING THATI’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUEVERY DAY AND NIGHTI DREAM OF DREAMS OF YOU
ALL : I GOT A FUNNY FEELING THAT I’M FALLING IN LOVE…I GOT A FUNNY FEELING THAT I’M FALLING IN LOVE…
M IMSIE: Watch out for those girls in middle of the road!
They scream as the bus appears to screech to a halt. Blackout.
SCENE FOUR Part Two): THE BRIDESMAIDS
Lights up on a stage which is bare, except for a young B RIDE with her B RIDESMAIDS . Theyare all crying. The B OYS - S TEVE , C YRIL and E DWIN - enter. They’re much too forcefuland scare the girls.
BRIDE / B’MAIDS : (Tentatively) Li - ving d - oll?
M usic No. 29: LIVING DO LL(Barbara, Boys, Girls)
BARBARA : GOT MYSELF A CRYIN’, TALKIN’, SLEEPIN’, WALKIN’,
(Each time she gets to this part she points to the B RIDE and B RIDESMAIDS to shout ‘Living
Doll’)
…LIVIN’ DOLLGOT TO DO MY BEST TO PLEASE HER JUST ’CAUSE SHE’S A LIVIN’ DOLLGOT A ROVIN’ EYE AND THAT IS WHYSHE SATISFIES MY SOULGOT THE ONE AND ONLYWALKIN’, TALKIN’, LIVIN’ DOLL
She uses Edwin to demonstrate. The B RIDE and B RIDESMAIDS laugh.
TAKE A LOOK AT HER HAIR, IT’S REALIF YOU DON’T BELIEVE WHAT I SAY, JUST FEELGONNA LOCK HER UP IN A TRUNKSO NO BIG HUNKCAN STEAL HER AWAY FROM ME
B ARBARA catches D ON looking at her. He is starting to fall for her and is unable to hide it.She smiles back…
SLEEPIN’, WALKIN’, LIVIN’ DOLLGOT TO DO MY BEST TO PLEASE HER
JUST ’CAUSE SHE’S A LIVIN’ DOLLGOT A ROVIN’ EYE AND THAT IS WHYSHE SATISFIES MY SOULGOT THE ONE AND ONLYWALKIN’, TALKIN’, LIVIN’ DOLL
The song ends. The B RIDE and B RIDESMAIDS are happy and understand that these K IDS mean no harm. They point stage left, indicating where they need to get to.
BRIDE : Amalfi?
CYRIL: I’m Cyril, how d’ya do?
BARBARA : Your wedding’s in Amalfi?
They nod their heads.
DON : That’s not too far, is it?
E DWIN checks the map.
EDWIN : 40km. Hour each way.
STEVE : We don’t have time. (To B RIDE and B RIDESMAIDS ) Girls have gig!
ANGIE : Oh, we can’t leave them here.
ALMA : It’s worth a risk, isn’t it?
M IMSIE: Yes, Don - we can still make the ferry and be in time for the gig.
CYRIL: Yeah, if we just stay for five minutes, we can do it.
DON : Are we all sure? (Thumbs up.) Then let’s go.
The B RIDE and B RIDESMAIDS are thrilled and start to leave with them. D ON watches
B ARBARA from a slight distance. The smallest B RIDESMAID is left on stage unseen by D ON .
DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?
As the K IDS celebrate and relax into smooching mode, the band begins to play a slow song.
Music No. 32: SLEEPW ALK(Instrumental)
S TELLA and J ERRY arrive downstage.
As they remove their crash helmets we can see that S TELLA looks like Gina Lollabrigida’srougher second cousin, wearing a loud headscarf wrapped round most of her face. J ERRY ,meanwhile, is wearing a some sort of ‘Chico-the-bus-boy’ outfit, one size too small. S TELLA is not happy.
STELLA: Next time I hit you on the shoulder it means stop!
JERRY : I thought you were drumming.
STELLA: Quiet! What they doing over there? And why are they picking up straybrides, for Christ’s sake?
JERRY : Maybe they were being nice.
STELLA: Nice? Nobody’s nice anymore! It’s everywoman for herself. Dog eat
E DWIN is waving the keys at D ON indicating that they should go.
JERRY : …and get the keys to the bus. Can’t we just leave her alone? She looksvery happy.
STELLA: Happy? She’s not happy. She thinks Happy’s a dwarf! She’ll know what
happy is when I turn her into a superstar. It’s what any loving mother
would do for her kid. So grab these and shake ‘em!
S TELLA grabs some maracas from her bag.
(In a thick Italian accent) Come in, Chico! Reeba, Reeba, Reeba! Please,please, please, please. Musica…Maestro…
She rounds them all up with a wild tarantella. The K IDS are confused.
M usic No. 33: LA LA LA SONG(Stella, Jerry, All)
STEVE : What’s wrong with Charlie?
STELLA: THERE’S A SONG I KNOW, THIS IS HOW IT GOESTHERE IS NOTHING IN IT COMPLICATEDTAKE THE MELODY, SIMPLE AS CAN BETHERE IS NOTHING IN IT THAT CAN DATE ITTHERE’S NO LANGUAGE PROBLEM IN ITCHILDREN EVERYWHERE CAN SWING IT,(Spoken) Sing it!
She points directly at J ERRY . He has no idea what to do. After a short pause he tentativelysings…
JERRY : LA LA LA LA LALA LA LA LA LALA LA LA LA LALA LA LA LA LA……TUTTI FRUTTI…
He gets them all to sing it with him. Gradually they do. He is getting into this!
ALL : LA LA LA LA LALA LA LA LA LALA LA LA LA LALA LA LA LA LA
S TELLA pushes J ERRY out of the way, so he moves around the crowd trying to find thekeys.
STELLA: THERE’S NO LANGUAGE PROBLEM IN ITCHILDREN EVERYWHERE CAN SING IT,SWING IT!
J ERRY gets the keys and waves them at S TELLA.
STELLA: (To J ERRY ) SEE I TOLD YOU SOBUT NOW WE MUST GO
(To the crowd) LEAVING YOU WITHSOMETHING TO REMEMBER (To J ERRY ) NOW BE ON YOUR WAY (To the crowd)WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY?THERE IS REALLY NOTHING TO ITALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS DO ITALL YOU HAVE TO SING IS LA LA LA
’CAUSE TOMORROWSOMETIMES NEVER COMESSO LOVE ME,THERE’S A SONG TO BE SUNGAND THE BEST TIME IS TO SING ITWHILE WE’RE YOUNG
They embrace.
DON : I swore I’d never tell another girl I loved her. But I’m telling you now(Barbara looks worried.) Hey, I got so carried away with the way I felt. I
haven’t asked you how you feel.
BARBARA : I think about you constantly. In fact… I’ve loved you ever since I was a
little boy.
DON/BARBARA: ONCE IN EVERY LIFETIMECOMES A LOVE LIKE THIS
OH I NEED YOU, AND YOU NEED MEOH MY DARLING CAN’T YOU SEE?
YOUNG DREAMSSHOULD BE DREAMED TOGETHERAND YOUNG HEARTSSHOULDN’T BE AFRAIDAND SOMEDAYWHEN THE YEARS HAVE FLOWNDARLING, THEN WE’LLTEACH THE YOUNG ONES OF OUR OWNDARLING, THEN WE’LLTEACH THE YOUNG ONES OF OUR OWN
They kiss.
BARBARA : Don, there’s something I’ve got to tell you…
The K IDS come rushing back, exhausted…
K ID S: Don!…Don!! Quick…the ferry, we’ve got to go or we’ll miss the ferry
A Customs / boarding point for the ferry. A C USTOMS M AN is about to lower the gatewhen we hear the sound of a small motorcycle drawing near. He looks offstage. J ERRY arrives on the Lambretta. He chats to S TELLA , but she is not on board.
JERRY : I think this is it, Stella. (He notices the C USTOMS M AN lowering the gate.) Wait a second Pedro, you got two more here. (He doesn’tunderstand.) Dos por le boat. (To C USTOMS M AN ) Two! (He begins
to spell it out) Two - person - for - the - ferry. Yeah? I don't believethis. Stella, you speak to him. Stella? Stella? (He notices she isn’t there.)Oh my word.
He stops the Lambretta and dashes about trying to find her. S TELLA enters. She is trying tobe dignified but she has one broken heel. Her clothes are dishevelled, her hair is now totallyhorizontal due to lack of wind resistance and her mascara and make up have travelled generally all over her face. She slowly approaches J ERRY .
JERRY : (Tentatively) How are you?…When did you get off? At the levelcrossing? (She shakes her head.) At the traffic lights? (Again, no.) Where then?
STELLA: At the humpback bridge!!
JERRY : Well…why didn’t you call out?
STELLA: I was lying flat on my back gasping for air. If it hadn’t been for a small
child kicking me to see if I was dead, I would still be there.
JERRY : I wear one dress and the whole world knows about it.
STELLA: I think he is trying to tell us something. What about the goats?
CUSTOMS M AN : Sacred Goat Throwing Day. Big day for Greece. Big day for ferry too.
STELLA: Oh fabulous. I gotta share a ferry with a bunch of goats?
CUSTOMS M AN : No…(Indicating Left ) People …(Indicating Right ) Goats…
STELLA: I travel all over Northern Europe keeping my baby safe and missing soshe can rejoin the world to maximum effect. And when she does, she’s
gonna be sharing the front page with a livestock chuck-a-thon!
JERRY : Wait a second, wait a second. I’ve heard of this thing. It’s big. Very big.World-wide coverage. Why, only last year Life Magazine did a wholeissue on it.
STELLA: (S TELLA realises the potential.) I vote for the goat. Get me on the boat.When does it all start?
STELLA: Give him a dollar. (He does so) Barbara should arrive just in time forthe world’s press to interview her. Avanti!
They go off and board the ferry. As the K IDS arrive, the ferry moves off. The fog hornsounds. They stop and look on in disbelief. As they slump one by one on the ground andstare out at the water, the band strikes up a discordant ‘S UMMER H OLIDAY ’.
Music No. 36: SUMMER HOLIDAY (Reprise) Ferry Version(The Kids)
M IMSIE: WE’RE ALL GOING ON A SUMMER HOLIDAY
CYRIL: NO MORE WORKING FOR A WEEK OR TWO
ALMA : FUN AND LAUGHTER ON OUR SUMMER HOLIDAY
STEVE : NO MORE WORRIES FOR ME OR YOU,
ALL : FOR A WEEK OR TWO
Music continues underneath.
DON : I’m so sorry girls, it was my fault.
EDWIN : No it wasn’t, it was mine. I let that man with the maracas steal my keys
STEVE : If only we’d let you get a train to Athens you’d have made it.
ALMA : Yes, but we wouldn’t have had half so much fun.
M IMSIE: Yes, thanks anyway. It’s been great.
The boys feel terrible as they watch the girls leave.
ANGIE : I was going to go back with a record contract.
DON : Wait! Listen, this can’t be it. We can’t finish here. We’ve come too far.Everyone think. There must be a way out.
They pace around trying to come up with a plan.
EDWIN : Well…how about…no.
ANGIE : We could…maybe not.
M IMSIE: Perhaps if…forget it.
DON : That’s it. It’s no use. Only a miracle can save us.
A goat bleats. They look at each other. Another bleat. Then another and another. Then awhole herd is heard offstage being herded onto something. Foghorn. The K IDS all look atD ON .
DON : I’ve got it!
ALL : The Goats!
Blackout.
M usic No. 37: THE SAVAGE / ZORBA(Instrumental)
SCENE SEVEN: ATHENS
The model bus is now on a model ferry full of model goats. It crosses the stage. Once it
reaches the other side, the K IDS arrive in Athens carrying the girls’ luggage.
STEVE : I can’t believe we made it to Grecian turf, Charlie.
CYRIL: I can’t believe we made it on time, as well.
EDWIN : I can’t believe we bumped into the Italian Goat Throwing Team andhitched a lift on their specially commissioned ferry. Now that was amiracle!
DON : Ladies, we give you Athens, with seconds, if not minutes to spare.
BARBARA : Publicity? (To S TELLA ) Let go of me, you’ve ruined everything. (ToD ON ) I swear, I didn’t know anything about this.
STELLA: Now you listen to me, young lady. Pull yourself together. You got anofficial press conference in half an hour. I have found the most fabulous
dress.
JERRY : Yeah, and if you don’t like it, I’ll have it.
She leads B ARBARA off. J ERRY follows. Don is alone.
M usic No. 38: THE NEXT TIME(Don, Barbara)
DON : THEY SAY I’LL LOVE AGAIN SOMEDAYA TRUER LOVE WILL COME MY WAYTHE NEXT TIMEBUT AFTER YOU THERE’LL NEVER BEA NEXT TIME FOR ME
THEY SAY THAT I’LL FIND HAPPINESSIN SOMEONE ELSE’S WARM CARESSTHE NEXT TIMEI’LL SOON FORGET YOUR KISSAND HEARTACHE SUCH AS THISWILL JUST BE ANCIENT HISTORY
Barbara returns and watches him.
THEY SAY THAT I’M A FOOL TO WEEP,THAT I WON'T GO ON LOSING SLEEPTHE NEXT TIMETHAT SOMEONE ELSE WILL MEND THE HEARTYOU’VE BROKEN IN TWO
BUT HOW CAN I FALL IN LOVETHE NEXT TIMEWHEN I’M STILL SO VERY MUCHIN LOVE WITH YOU?
BARBARA : Don, I can explain…I never meant to deceive you. I couldn’t tell youwho I was in case you thought of me differently.
In front of it walk S TELLA and J ERRY who then take their place at a lectern and address theaudience as if it’s the world’s press. (SFX: Rowdy foreign press.)
JERRY : (Taps microphone, then speaks into it.) Ladies and Gentlemen.Mesdames and Messieurs. Meine Dames unt Meine Dambusters.Welcome to the Stella Winters press conference. Ms. Winters will readout a short statement; then we will answer any questions…and here sheis…
Stella steps up melodramatically.
STELLA
:
My girl was kidnapped six days ago. (She falters.) Excuse me, thetrauma of the past few days has taken its toll. I feel a little faint.Support me, Jerry!
She reaches out for his arm.
JERRY : You’re doing great, Stella!
STELLA: (She reacts, then smiles to the crowd.) This incident has shown us howmuch the world values its own bright young star. Right now I ask onlyone thing. I’d like to meet up with one of those hoodlums face to face.
D ON , S TEVE , C YRIL and E DWIN enter through the auditorium.
DON : Well that shouldn’t be too difficult. I’m one of them.
STELLA: You! You’ve got a nerve turning up here!
Music No. 39: BIG NEW S(Don)
DON : There are two sides to every story and I thought the press would like tohear our side. If it’s news you’re all after, here’s an exclusive…
HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS?HERE’S SOME NEWS TO HIT THE HEADLINESTELL YOUR PAPERSBETTER HOLD PAGE ONEMMM, I WANT TO MAKE A STATEMENT
I WANT YOU ALL TO HEARLISTEN CLOSELY TO MEFOR THE STORY OF THE YEARTEN INCH BANNER HEADLINES
FOR EVERYONE TO SEEI’M GONNA TO WED THIS GIRL OF MINE
BECAUSE SHE’S IN LOVE WITH ME
STELLA: This is ridiculous. Why, if Barbara were here, she’d tell you it was all apack of lies. If I thought for even one second, my daughter loved thatboy I’d happily drop all charges.
BARBARA : Well, I do love him, Mother.
JERRY : Taxi!
DON : HERE’S ANOTHER STATEMENTTO ALL OF YOU HERE TODAYWHEN YOU GET MY STORYTHEN PRINT THE WORDS I SAYI’VE FOUND A PLAN FOR LIVINGTO LAST ME ALL THROUGH LIFEI’M GONNA TAKE THAT GIRL OF MINEAND THEN MAKE HER MY WIFE
STELLA: Over my dead body!
JERRY : Don’t give ’em any ideas, Stella.
Apparently from nowhere an official looking man appears.
W RIGHTMORE : Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. Donald Preston?
DON : Ah, yes.
W RIGHTMORE : Oh, congratulations. My name’s Wrightmore. I’m with the BritishConsul here. I’m glad I caught you - this telegram’s for you.
He hands him a telegram.
DON : (Opening it) How did you know we were here?
W RIGHTMORE : Well, you’ve caused quite a sensation. The sight of a London Bus
travelling on the continent has aroused tremendous curiosity and thepress have been playing it big.
DON : (Reading aloud) “London Transport congratulate you - Stop - Futurefunding now available - Stop.” That’s it, guys. We’re in business. Next
year the sky’s the limit.
STELLA: Business…sky’s the limit…what you need is…
JERRY : Stella, NO!!
STELLA: What you need is…each other.
DON : Double Decker Tours will be ready for business in about two weeks’
time. First, we’re going to have the holiday we set out to have!
They all pose for a major press photo call. Flashbulbs going off everywhere.
ALL : BIG NEWS, BIG NEWS, BIG NEWS,BIG NEWS, HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS?
Blackout.
SCENE NINE: ON THE BEACH.
A glitter slash curtain drops in, a sign to the right of it announcing that Do Re Mi areopening tonight. The manager of the Halkidiki Tropicana Lounge gets on the mike.
V/O: And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, direct from London Town – Do, Re,Mi!
Music No. 40: I M THE LO NELY ONE(Angie, Mimsie, Alma)
One by one, the G IRLS appear through the curtain. They have really got it together - theyare brilliant. They have now matured and become a full professional outfit.
A./M./A.: WELL YOU DON’T KNOW,WELL YOU DON’T KNOWHOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO MEI SAID GOODBYEI LEFT YOU THERE TO CRY
WELL YOU DON’T KNOW,HOW MUCH I’VE MISSED YOU SOBUT NOW IT’S DONEWELL I’M THE LONELY ONE
We hear the sound of a the sea gently lapping the shore. As the lights fade up we find D ON onstage strumming a guitar.
DON : I CAN THINK OF NOTHING BETTERTHAN DANCIN’ ON THE BEACHSEE A GIRL YOU CAN GO AND GET HER
YOUR TROUBLES WILL BE OUT OF REACHON THE BEACHYOU CAN DANCE TO A ROCK AND ROLLHEAR A BOSSA NOVA PLAYED WITH SOULYOU CAN DANCE, TWIST AND SHOUTEVERYBODY HEAR ME COME ON OUTON THE BEACHCOME ON EVERYBODY STOMP YOUR FEETON THE BEACHYOU CAN DANCE WITH ANYONE YOU MEET’CAUSE YOUR TROUBLES ARE OUT OF REACHON THE BEACH
The whole cast run on stage. They have changed into what can only be described as finalecostumes. In the original production they all wore white as a welcome relief from the brightcolours that had gone before, but it can be any unifying change of costume. They throwbeach balls and have beach-type fun.
DON/ALL : I CAN THINK OF NOTHING BETTER
THAN DANCIN’ ON THE BEACHSEE A GIRL YOU CAN GO AND GET HERYOUR TROUBLES WILL BE OUT OF REACH(ON THE BEACH)YOU CAN DANCE TO A ROCK N ROLL(ON THE BEACH)HEAR A BOSSA NOVA PLAYED WITH SOUL(ON THE BEACH)YOU CAN DANCE, TWIST AND SHOUT
(ON THE BEACH)EVERYBODY HEAR ME COME ON OUTON THE BEACHCOME ON EVERYBODY STOMP YOUR FEET
WE’RE GOING WHERE THE SUN SHINES BRIGHTLYWE’RE GOING WHERE THE SEA IS BLUE
WE’VE SEEN IT IN THE MOVIESNOW LET’S SEE IF IT'S TRUE
EVERYBODY HAS A SUMMER HOLIDAYDOING THINGS THEY ALWAYS WANTED TOSO WE’RE GOING ON A SUMMER HOLIDAYTO MAKE OUR DREAM COME TRUE,FOR ME AND YOUMMM, FOR ME AND YOU
MMM, FOR ME AND YOU
Music No. 43: DO Y OU W ANN A DAN CE (Reprise)(Company)
ALL : WELL DO YOU WANNA DANCEAND HOLD MY HAND?SQUEEZE ME BABY, I’M YOUR MANOH BABY, DO YOU WANNA DANCE?
DO YOU WANNA DANCEUNDER THE MOONLIGHT?SQUEEZE AND HUG ME ALL THROUGH THE NIGHTOH BABY, DO WANNA DANCE?
DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?
DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?
DO YOU WANNA DANCETO A ROCK AND ROLL BAND?COME ON BABY, GIVE ME YOUR HANDOH BABY, DO YOU WANNA DANCE?
DO YOU WANNA DANCEUNDER THE MOONLIGHTSQUEEZE AND HUG ME ALL THROUGH THE NIGHTOH BABY, DO YOU WANNA DANCE?
1. OVERTURE (Instrumental) ..............................................................................................................................................................1Music by Hank B. Marvin, Bruce Welch, Cliff Richard and Bobby Freeman.
2. FOOT TAPPER (IS IT STILL RAINING) (Wilf, Edwin, Cyril, Steve, Café Customers) .......................................................1Music and Lyrics by Hank B. Marvin and Bruce Welch.Additional lyrics by Michael Gyngell and Mark Haddigan.
3. SEVEN DAYS TO A HOLIDAY - Part 1 (Don, Steve, Cyril, Edwin) .....................................................................................5Music and Lyrics by Peter Myers and Ronald Cass.
4. IN THE COUNTRY (Don, Boys) ....................................................................................................................................................6Music and Lyrics by Hank B. Marvin and Bruce Welch.
5. SEVEN DAYS TO A HOLIDAY - PART 2 (Don, Steve, Cyril, Edwin, Marjorie, Malcolm) .......................................... 14Music and Lyrics by Peter Myers and Ronald Cass.Additional lyrics by Michael Gyngell and Mark Haddigan.
6. SUMMER HOLIDAY (Don) ........................................................................................................................................................... 18Music and Lyrics by Bruce Welch and Brian Bennett.
7. SHINDIG (Instrumental) ................................................................................................................................................................ 20Music by Hank B. Marvin and Bruce Welch.
8. GEE WHIZZ, IT’S YOU (Mimsie, Alma, Angie) ...................................................................................................................... 20Music and Lyrics by Hank B. Marvin and Ian Samwell.
9. LET US TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE (Cyril, Edwin, Don, Steve, Angie, Alma, Mimsie) .................................................... 23Music and Lyrics by Peter Myers and Ronald Cass.
10. CONSTANTLY(Barbara) ................................................................................................................................................................ 28Music and Lyrics by Saverio Seracini, Vincenzo D’Aquisto and Michael Julien.
11. CONSTANTLY – REPRISE (Instrumental) ................................................................................................................................. 31Music and Lyrics by Saverio Seracini, Vincenzo D’Aquisto and Michael Julien.
12. ROUND AND ROUND (Instrumental) ....................................................................................................................................... 32Music by Hank B. Marvin, Bruce Welch and Brian Bennett.
13. I COULD EASILY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU (Steve) ........................................................................................................... 32Music and Lyrics by Ian Samwell.
14. SHINDIG (Instrumental) ................................................................................................................................................................ 35Music by Hank Marvin and Bruce Welch.
15. THE SAVAGE (Instrumental) ........................................................................................................................................................ 35Music by Norrie Paramor.
16. TIME DRAGS BY (Steve, Cyril, Edwin) ...................................................................................................................................... 35Music and Lyrics by Hank B. Marvin, Bruce Welch, Brian Bennett and John Rostill.
17. LES GIRLS (Instrumental) ............................................................................................................................................................. 38Music by Hank B. Marvin, Bruce Welch and Brian Bennett.
18. BACHELOR BOY (Don, Boys) ....................................................................................................................................................... 38Music and Lyrics by Cliff Richard and Bruce Welch.
19. THE SAVAGE (Instrumental) ........................................................................................................................................................ 40Music by Norrie Paramor.
20. LES GIRLS / VALDEREE (Instrumental) ................................................................................................................................... 40Music by Hank Marvin, Bruce Welch and Brian Bennett / Antonio Ridge and Friedrich Moller
21. DANCING SHOES (Angie, Mimsie, Alma) ................................................................................................................................. 41Music and Lyrics by Hank B. Marvin and Bruce Welch.
The lead guitarist plays the first three notes of ‘Move It’ to Edwin as a challenge (think ‘Duelling Banjos’ from ‘Deliverance’).Edwin plays them back. The guitarist plays some more, Edwin plays it back. Before we know it we are into the song.
(Guitar)
8
COME ON
PRET TY- BA
BY- LET'S A MOVE
- IT AND A GROOVE
- IT!
11
SHAKE, OH BA BY- SHAKE,
BUT HO NEY- PLEASE DON'T LOSE
IT
16
THE RHY
THM- THAT GETS
IN TO- YOUR HEART
AND SOUL
20
WELL LET ME TELL YOU BA
BY- IT'S CALLED ROCK
AND ROLL
24
THEY SAY
IT'S GON NA- DIE
BUT HO NEY- PLEASE
LET'S
FACE
IT
28
THEY JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT'S A GO - IN'- TO RE PLACE IT