Summer 2011 (English)

The Magazine to Empower and Enrich Today’s Urban Woman Summer 2011

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Table of ContentsFaithReach UP .............................................. Page 1Abused, but not Broken Forever ............ Page 2

LifestylePreparing Your Daughter for Womanhood ..... Page 4We Win .......................................................... Page 6Decorating on a Dime ................................... Page 7

Editor-in-Chief ............................. Crystal WackerWriting Editor .......................... Christina WilliamsFrench Translation .................. Sophia CouchaneSpanish Translation ....................... Jodi-Kay EllisSpanish Editor .......................... Mona Ré ShieldsContributing Authors ................... Dorsee Savage Amanda Small Jeanette Rivera Joselyn Ward Graphic Artist ............................. . Robert GibsonPhotos ........................................ Jeanette Rivera Andrew Reyes Jamie Ward

I love our name: Reach UP. One of the many things this name says to me is that everyone can be a Reach UP person, no matter how old

they are. If we make a habit of reaching up when we’re down, God will meet us and wrap us in His love. If we make a habit of reaching up in our thoughts and plans for our future, we are sure to grab hold of good things because God will

not direct us to anything bad for us. If we make a habit of reaching up when we have confusing situations in our

personal lives, God will give us right counsel because it’s impossible for Him to deceive.

If we make a habit of reaching up and giving Him our sorrows, He will heal our hearts, our emotions, and our minds.

Sadly, so many women have gone through experiences similar to those of Amanda Small, our feature writer. Statistics tell us that one in three women

has been molested. However, statistics cannot tell us of the pain, the fear, and the scars that this leaves in a young child. Amanda tells us. My guess is, you can probably tell us as well. So why did I begin this talking about Reach UP? Because the best hope and help I can offer is summed up in the phrase, “Reach up.”

I HATE the pain you have felt. I HATE how it damaged you. And if I hate it, how much more does God hate the sin that was done against you? And only God can do a thorough work of restoring you.

Reach up to Him. Seek Godly counsel and prayer. Don’t believe the lies that tell you you’re not worth it and nothing can help.

You are precious in His sight. You are a woman of value and worth. Reach up. He’s reaching out to you … even through a

simple magazine called Reach UP.

Crystal Wacker Editor-in-Chief

How blessed is the man you train, God, the woman you in instruct in your Word, providing a circle of quiet within the clamor of evil. God will never walk away from his people, never desert his precious people. Rest assured that justice is on its way and every good heart put right. Psalm 94:12-15 the message

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by Amanda Salas-Small

It was a beautiful, summer day. She was so excited about this new bike her cousin brought over. He told her he’d teach her how to ride it. So the two of them made their way to the parking lot in back of the house. As she watched her cousin ride the bike, she waited in anticipation for her turn.

But when she asked him, “Is it my turn now?” he looked at her with a slight grin and said, “Yea. But over here.” He led her to a dark corner in the back of an old building.

She timidly asked, “Why are we over here? I want to ride the bike.” She looked around at her surroundings and slowly realized that the sun was no longer shining as bright where she now stood. He slowly made his way over to where she stood and pulled down her pants. The little girl asked, “What are you doing?”

He responded, “If you let me, I’ll let you ride the bike.”

I was five years old the first time I was sexually molested. It’s a memory that is as vivid as if it happened yesterday. In that very moment, so many things were stolen from me. I walked away that day confused. I couldn’t understand what had happened.

The abuse continued for several years. I became afraid of what he would do to me whenever he

was around. I wanted my dad to help me but he couldn’t because he didn’t know it was happening. I wanted to tell, but I was sworn to secrecy. So a secret it remained for about seven years.

My growing-up years with filled with many questions. I was angry, hurt, full of rage; I was broken.

I grew up in a Christian home. I felt love from my parents (who have now been married for 37 years). I knew who God was. I heard about the miracles Jesus did. I had even seen miracles happen with my own eyes. But deep down I was empty.

I became a tomboy, getting involved in every sport possible. My mom had to beat me into a dress. I wore big, baggy clothes to hide my body so no one would notice me. My friend’s father always commented about the way I dressed, and one day he told me I was going to be gay. At the time I didn’t fully understand what that meant. As

years went on, I waited and waited for the “gay” to kick in, all because of what this man had said to me. It never did.

When I hit my college years I looked for a way out in relationships. I went from hiding my body to now wanting my body to be seen. I was exposed to sex at such a young age that it messed up my view of sex once I became an adult. I had this continuous struggle within myself, so I looked for an outlet in all the wrong places. I searched in relationships. I tried to find it in drugs and alcohol. Nothing I did relieved this pain. Somehow, I learned to tuck away the memories of what had been said and done to me.

The day came when I reached the lowest point in my life. I had nowhere to go, no one to run to, but God. And so I did. On April 18, 1999, I handed everything I had, everything I was -- all my pain, hurt, fear, dreams, and desires -- to God. That is the day I experienced my freedom.

See, the day I was molested for the first time was the beginning of an attempt to break me. But God had a purpose and a plan for my life. In Jeremiah 29:11 it says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

One thing I’ve learned throughout the years is that we all have a story. It’s what we do with that story that sets us apart. I could’ve easily allowed my past to justify a washed-up lifestyle. I could’ve blamed God for every pain and hurt I felt because of what had happened. When I told God to take everything that I am and remake me, I was handing over my past and future.

We sing a song, “I Give Myself Away” by William McDowell, that says “I give myself away so you can use me.” That’s exactly what I did. When I made that decision to follow Christ, little did I know that He would use my story to reach others. I made a promise to God that I was willing to share my story with others even if it still hurt me, as long as it brought healing to other young women.

I believe in God’s healing power, I believe in His love and grace on our lives. I’m a living testimony of what it means to overcome. I’ve traveled the world with my music group, Rhema Soul, sharing the message of Christ. I’ve been able

to talk to young women and share my story to let them know that our past does not define who we can become as a person.

Now I’ve been happily married for seven years. I’m learning what it means to be a praying wife

who will “stand in the gap” for her husband. Recently, I became a mother of a beautiful little girl named Zoe. There has been nothing more important to me than raising her. I’m learning what it is to be a mother on her knees. As a leader to this generation, I’m learning that a person’s story is the most powerful testimony of who God is.

If you are reading this, I want to encourage you. I want to tell you that there is hope beyond your circumstance. There is healing beyond your pain. Freedom begins when you allow God to begin the healing process in your life. When we hold onto the pain and suffering, we give those people who tried to damage us too much power over our lives. Give God that power.

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Lyrics from the song

“It was a sunny day, riding on my bike like kids playHe’s nearly twice my age, took a liking to my frameAnd now he took away pieces of my youthful daysAnd introduced me to a stage I shouldn’t know about at that ageHow do you explain living life with fits of rage?He told me I’d be gay and now my heart is full of hateI wanted to escape like a wing upon a planeFly away to a place where I’d feel no more painI’m fading away because I know it don’t existSo I look to exit in his smile he looks so braveHe knows what to say; like a potter I’m his clayHe’s molding me away into this image I portrayBut it’s all so fake, because inside I’m cold and painedHis words have left a curse and now I’m living with this shameBut what can I say? But Freedom came my wayAnd like an eagle now I’m soaring flying high above the waves.”

FLY AWAY - Rhema Soul

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by Joselyn Ward

She is a beautiful, smart, and confident girl, but extremely shy. She spends most of her time reading, and she is very curious about almost everything. She asks a lot of questions, but if you don’t know the answer, that’s ok because she’ll just research it. She likes to be a part of the group, but she also likes to be private. She is very proper and likes to mind her manners. She is quite the little lady.

I could tell her time was coming. She was eating, sleeping, and growing a lot -- and all over! Unfortunately I was not with her when she got “it.” (She was at her first day of camp.) But when she got it, I was so happy to hear that she took everything well. She told me she cried, but not because she was scared. Hers were tears of joy -- accepting the change of becoming a young lady.

Although part of me was sad to see her enter this stage, I was also pleasantly surprised to see her take it so well, even better than I did. She was very brave. I often hear horror stories of girls screaming, shrieking in fear at the sight of change. They are not prepared; some of them don’t even know what it is, much less what is going on with their bodies. When I had my girls, I wanted to minimize the trauma and find a way to actually celebrate the occasion -- Yes, Celebrate! Here’s how:

Talk about it -- sooner rather than later:

• Explain that this is what the Lord intended when He created women, and that God is preparing a woman’s body for growth and the special ability to have children. Explain to her that with this blessing and ability comes the challenge of taking care of her body and treating it with respect. It’s a great responsibility because it is a gift.

• Explain the body parts and the process that occurs during menstruation. Explain what she will feel and see. Implement a hygiene routine. Also take the time to explain that no one is allowed to see or touch; it is truly her private spot. Additionally, if she is hurt in any way, explain the importance of telling and being honest.

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Be an Encouragement: Explain the body parts and the process. If you present this change in a positive way, chances are she will accept it as positive too. Tell her you are excited about the change, and she should look forward to it as growth and a new phase in her life.

Be an Example:Take her into the bathroom with you. I know that sounds a bit weird, but if she sees what to expect and especially how you handle yourself, she will understand it better and learn to not fear it. Of course, take some precaution when you do this. Take the time again to explain the process of what the body does and give hygiene tips, such as how to clean, which pads to use, and how to use th

Also watch what you say and how you act during your cycles. I realize that for some, menstruating is uncomfortable and may include cramping. However, try to keep it together and not say things like, “I hate this. I can’t stand this. This hurts so much.” Your little lady is watching and listening, and you don’t want to scare her when it’s her turn.

Make It SpecialCelebrate with a Ladies Night Out. I saved the piercing of my daughter’s ears for this day. (She was excited, but then chickened out.) We had dinner at a restaurant of her choice, where she ordered herself just like a young lady would. We went to the mall to browse and she picked out something new. She also received a care package with items to represent her coming of age and things she would need to help her take care of herself.

Tell her about it in advance. Get her excited so she’ll view it as a celebration. It’s scary to think your baby girl is not a baby anymore, but you can minimize the impact of this change and make it something special and memorable for her. And if you have other soon-to-be-little ladies, it also helps them to get prepared and excited for their turn. Help them to expect and accept it with bravery and strength. They will appreciate you so much for being there for them.

Joselyn Ward lives in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, with her husband and four daughters, ages 11, twins 10, and 6. She grew up in Williamsburg, New York. As a child attended

Metro Ministries Sunday School (an aggressive inner-city outreach program) after her father passed away. Determined to make something of herself, she volunteered in that ministry and eventually went on staff Joselyn met her husband at Metro. Currently she is a child and youth worker for group homes speciallizing in mentally and physically disabled children.

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We win dad, You win through me.For I am the man you knew you could be.Although you don’t know me, I remain your son.The cells and the souls we carry are oneThere were times I resented you,Why didn’t you stay?Didn’t you love me? Then why did you stray?But when I became a man I must honestly sayThere were times when I too wanted to just run awayBut part of you stayed and could not runAnd though it was rough,He has overcome.So we win dad,You win through me.For I am the man you knew you could beThis is not to discredit youNo attempt to defameFor I carry your DNA in my veinI too know the paradox created by lustBeing made in God’s image,Yet formed from the dust.But God knows the future,So dad could it be, that many of the prayers you prayedWere answered in me?Maybe you just passed the torch,Or handed the baton,Or tagged my hand as I entered the ring and fought on,And wrestled the adversities of true fatherhoodThe fear of commitment,Opposed to just laying wood.See I battled these with you from inside of your loinsThrough pain and through gain we’re immortally joinedSo we win dadYou win through me

Think of it as a second round victoryYour dream lives on your legacy stands The child you created has grown to a man.And though he’s uniqueIn his own special way.He’s reminiscent of youFrom what his momma sayThat means you are a winnerWhether you knew it or notAnd your soul has wingsWhether you flew it or notSee God made you a kingWhether you blew it or notAnd you can still overcomeWhether you do it or notBut I take no credit for being who I amIt was our own Heavenly Father through the blood of the LambWho taught me the power of the man he’s designedWhom He has createdAnd He has defined.And when my life’s at its summit for this I prayThat I may look into my child’s eyes and sayWe win child I win through youFor you do the things that I dreamed to do.Like God giving the temples blueprint to King DavidYet giving his son Solomon, the wisdom to raise it.As I build the house may you make it a homeAs I construct the castleMay you sit on the throneMay you take my experiences my joys and my painMay they teach you and give you the wisdom to reignIf these things I’m able to say in the endThen our labor’s not in vainWe win dadWe win.

We Dad! By Dorsee Savage

Americans celebrate Mother’s Day and Father’s Day in May and June. Sometimes the holiday celebrations aren’t so happy when our personal experiences have been hurtful or we have lost a parent. Still, we can look beyond the obvious and realize how

God sees us and cares for us. We can hope to be the change for our children. This poem, written by Dorsee Savage, an

ex-offender, is an example of changed thinking about an earthly father who let him down.

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Given to you by:

I’m a Reach UP woman! www.myreachup.com coming soon I’m a Reach UP woman! www.myreachup.com coming soon

I recently moved and found myself with a very tight budget and no furniture or decorating items to fill the spaces. Moving can be very expensive, let alone decorating.

BEHOLD a huge light bulb lit up right over my head! I could hear the angels singing, “DOLLAR TREE.” Just joking. No angels. One of my favorite TV channels is HGTV. I recommend anyone to watch if you love decorating or you simply have no clue where to start. Magazines are a wonderful way to view great color schemes and decorate on a low budget too. You can make your home look like it should be on MTV Cribs.

My first project: A big empty kitchen. Hmmm. I went on Craig’s List and searched around. [If you have access to the internet, www.craigslist.org is a site where people buy and sell their things. Just be careful and don’t get into sections that could drag you into trouble.] I found a great table for my empty kitchen space for $50. So I bought it and was so excited!

What a way to save! Someone else’s trash can be your treasure. The table looked so plain and I am no decorating guru, so I began flipping through magazines and watching Extreme Home Makeover.

I decided to be bold and play with colors, red walls with yellow? It worked for me. I went to my local bargain store and bought a contemporary vase with yellow flowers and red mats. Then went to the Dollar tree and bought Santa Fe red and yellow large plates and plain yellow bowls to sit on top of the large plates. Viola! A beautiful table on a budget! And I spent less than $25. I don’t know about you but that’s shopping to me!

It brightened up the room and my kids love the playful look. Try it. You will have so much fun!

De¢orating on a Dime by Jeanette Rivera

Luke 12:15 Then Jesus said to them, “Be careful and guard against all kinds of greed. Life is not measured by how much one owns.”