Stranger and separation anxiety Stranger anxiety—peaks at 8-10 months; infant shows anxiety around strangers; declines during second year Separation anxiety—first.

Stranger and separation anxiety Stranger anxiety—peaks at 8-10

months; infant shows anxiety around strangers; declines during second year

Separation anxiety—first appears at 6-8 months but doesn’t peak until 12-18 months; infant doesn’t want to leave the primary caregiver

Self-awareness

The ability to recognize yourself as separate individual from anyone else

First demonstrated at 15-18 months old Gallup—rouge test (first done on

chimpanzees) can also be used to demonstrate self-awareness in babies

By 24 months, nearly all babies are self-aware and refer to themselves as I/me.

Empathy Develops after self-awareness The capacity to understand another’s

emotional state and feel with that person, or respond emotionally in similar way

Toddlers will give others what they themselves find comforting (e.g., stuffed bear)

Self-control

The capacity to resist an impulse to engage in socially disapproved behavior

Must have self-awareness first and the ability to think of self as autonomous being who can direct own actions

Must also be able to remember caregiver’s directive (“Don’t touch that!”)

First glimmerings of self-control appear as compliance—child wants to comply with adults by 12-18 months. Tantrums also occur as child refuses to comply.

Father’s role in emotional life

Whereas moms devote more time to physical care and expressing emotion, fathers spend more time in playful interaction with child.

Moms more often provide toys, talk to babies, and play conventional games like peek-a-boo.

Fathers play more exciting, active games that involve bouncing and lifting, especially with their sons.

When dads are primary caregivers Picture of “mother as caregiver, father as

playmate” has changed as more moms work outside the home.

When moms are employed, they engage in more playful stimulation with child (compared to stay-at-home moms)

Stay-at-home dads (currently 143,000 dads in U.S.) retain their highly arousing play style but have other characteristics as well.

Profile of the stay-at-home dad They’re less gender stereotyped in their

beliefs Have sympathetic, friendly personalities Regard parenthood as an especially

enriching experience Among preschoolers who stay at home with a

parent, about 20% stay with their father rather than mother. 6% of grade-schoolers are looked after primarily by their fathers.

Marital relationship and satisfaction with kids The lowest marital satisfaction is found in the

child-rearing years; marriage usually improves when children leave the house.

A warm, intimate relationship between husband and wife supports both parents’ pleasurable involvement with babies and satisfaction with parenthood, but it’s especially true for fathers.

Day Care: Statistics

62% of U.S. women work outside the home, at least part-time.

50% of women go back to work before their child’s first birthday.

In U.S., 55% of working women supply half or more of their family’s household income.

U.S. compares very poorly to other countries regarding maternity leave laws.

Maternity leave

Czech Republic has the most progressive childcare leave laws—28 weeks of paid leave. Hungary, Canada, Spain, Romania, Denmark, Norway, and Sweden also have generous leave…some to both spouses.

In U.S., the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) of 1993 provided a total of 12 work weeks of UNPAID leave during any 12-month period for the birth of a child.

FMLA applies ONLY to workers in companies with 50 or more workers.

Is a woman’s job in jeopardy if she takes maternity leave? In the U.S., a woman’s job is protected by law if

she takes maternity leave, but only if the company employs more than 15 workers.

Women often experience discrimination “under the radar”—they may be reassigned to a less desirable job, etc., or subtly threatened if they take too much leave.

After they return to work, companies don’t have to provide a nursing mom a place or time to pump breast milk. (Only 7% of U.S. companies offer such benefits.)

Effects of Day Care on Attachment American infants who are placed in full-time

childcare before the age of 12 months are more likely than infants who stay at home to form an insecure attachment to parents.

This is especially true for males. Children in day care are still more likely to be

securely attached, however. If the mother is emotionally sensitive to the

infant, h/she will be securely attached, no matter what kind of childcare arrangement exists.

Family conditions affecting attachment security If the mother’s attitudes about working match her

employment situation, then the babies thrive and everyone is happy.

If Mom works but doesn’t want to (or stays at home but doesn’t want to), attachment can suffer.

Employed women may respond less sensitively to their children because they’re fatigued and stressed; this leads to insecure attachment developing.

If spouse approves of Mom working and helps out, then things improve tremendously.

Effects of day care on cognitive development High-quality, cognitively enriched day care has

beneficial effects on many children’s cognitive development, especially children from poor families.

Some U.S. studies show negative effects on cognitive development, especially middle or upper class children.

One study of 1000 preschoolers showed that white, but not black, children who entered day care before age 1 had lower vocabulary scores than those who had entered after age 1.

Resolving the conflicting findings The key appears to be the discrepancy

between the level of stimulation the child would’ve received at home and what he gets at day care.

A poor child who wouldn’t have access to much educational stimulation at home benefits cognitively from the more enriching day care environment. The opposite is true for children from more advantaged backgrounds.

Effects on Peer Relations

It’s often been found that children in day care are more sociable and popular and have better peer play skills than children raised at home.

A few studies show a link between day care attendance and aggression and behavior problems at school.

The more hours spent at day care, the more aggressive behavior is shown.

Results were that 17% of day care children were aggressive compared with 6% who stayed home.

Temperamental differences and day care adjustment A 2003 study shows that difficult

children and those with poor self-control may be especially at risk in child care.

Child-care providers need to be taught how to foster self-regulatory skills in difficult children.

Quality of day care

Quality is extremely important. Best child care has a ratio of 3:1 for infants and 4-6:1

for preschoolers. Caregivers should be warm & emotionally expressive,

and there should be little staff turnover and a pattern of age-appropriate activities for the child.

Caregivers should be eager to confer with parents about child’s progress and should never mind “drop in” visits.

Only 15% of day cares are categorized as excellent, and 60% are adequate.

Results of high quality day care Children in excellent day care who have

an opportunity to form a warm bond with a stable, professional caregiver benefit in many ways.

They show higher self-esteem, socially skilled behavior, and cognitive skills than children who didn’t attend high-quality day care.

The bottom line about day care If the mother is happy with the working

arrangements, the child will most likely be securely attached, even if placed in day care before the age of 1.

Finding an enriching day care of the highest quality you can afford is crucial.

Spend extra time with the child and try not to be stressed around the child when you get home from work.

Studies show that most children don’t mind day care as long as their mom is happy.

Siblings

Family size is declining in the U.S., and there is currently a trend toward having only one child, or at most, 2.

80% of American children grow up with at least one sibling, though, and most second children arrive when the first is preschool age.

Research used to show that the ideal gap between children was 2.5 years; now some researchers think this should be widened to 3-3.5 years.

Arrival of a sibling: Impact on the first child The arrival of a new baby is an extremely

stressful event for the firstborn. They may become more demanding, clingy, and

throw more tantrums than usual. Security of attachment typically declines

temporarily, especially if they’re over 2 and if the mother is under stress due to marital or psychological problems.

By the time the new baby is 8 months old, though, siblings typically spend a lot of time together.

Adjusting to a sibling

Temperament plays a big role. When one sibling is emotionally intense or active,

conflict arises. Moms are usually more positive and playful with

second-borns than with firstborns and discipline the older child more, which can spark negative feelings and behavior problems.

Secure attachment and parental warmth toward both children are related to positive sibling relationships; coldness is related to sibling friction.

Tips for promoting harmony

Spend as much time with your firstborn as possible.

Discuss the baby’s feelings and intentions with the firstborn to help him develop empathy for the baby.

Respond patiently to the firsborn’s misbehavior and demands for attention.

Let the firstborn help with the care of the baby.

Birth order differences: The Firstborn These are usually due to parental differences in the

care of the children. Parents have more expectations of the firstborn and

put more pressure on them for achievement and responsibility. They interfere with more of their activities.

Firstborns are more adult-oriented, helpful, conforming, anxious, and self-controlled than their siblings.

They excel in academics and at jobs and are overrepresented among Rhodes scholars and Who’s Who.

More about firstborns

Firstborns have more guilt, anxiety, and difficulty coping with stressful situations

Have higher admissions to child guidance clinics

Parents give more attention to firstborns, which is related to their nurturant behavior.

Only children

Have gotten a bad reputation as being a self-centered spoiled brat who has no self-control and is dependent on others

Research shows this isn’t true. Only children are more achievement-oriented and

displays a desirable personality, especially in comparison with later-borns and children from large families.

They do better in school, get more education, and have closer relationships with parents.

There is a tendency for only children to be less well-accepted in the peer group, though.

Middle children

Get the worst deal; often “overlooked” by parents Always competing against firstborn, acting as if in a

“race” Tries to carve out own niche; may rebel Middle child of 3 may feel unloved, squeezed out of

family, may feel life is unfair. May also become adaptable by learning to deal

with conflicts from both older and younger siblings. Ideal if middle child is different gender than siblings.

Youngest children

The “baby” of the family…can be good or bad Might behave as the only child, especially if

spacing between sibs is great May expect others to do things, make

decisions or may become the boss of the family.

Traditionally seen as the most sociable member of the family.

May ally with the firstborn against the middle child.