Stop Bullying Now - ICASA imagines/stop bullying... · 2018. 11. 14. · Stop Bullying Now “No, you don't know what it's like When nothing feels all right You don't know what it's

Stop Bullying Now

“No, you don't know what it's like When nothing feels all right

You don't know what it's like To be like me To be hurt To feel lost

To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you No, you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life”

~ Simple Plan

How Do You Define “Bully”

Did You Know?

The word “Bully” meant the total opposite of what it means now.

Five hundred years ago, “Bully” meant

friend, family member or sweetheart.

• Power over

• Meant to hurt

• May happen over and over

Bullying is…

Two Types of Bullying

• Direct

• Indirect

Direct Bullying

Physical – hitting, kicking, pushing, stealing, hiding or ruining someone’s things, making someone do something he/she doesn’t want to do.

Verbal – name calling, teasing, insulting,

threats, intimidation.

Indirect Bullying

Relationship/Social Bullying – gossiping, spreading rumors and lies about someone, making someone feel left out or rejected.

Cyber Bullying - harassment using technology (email, Instant Messaging, websites, text messaging, Facebook, Twitter, etc.)

Cyber Bullying

Percentage of all youth reporting bullying

online (message boards, Instant Messaging, e-mail, cell phone, chat rooms, blogs, profile sites):

Insults - 66%

Threats - 27%

Sharing embarrassing pictures - 18%

Privacy violation - 25%

Password theft – 33% Journal of School Health, 2008

Bullying Facts - 1

- Only 10 studies have been conducted in the United States on bullying and people with developmental disabilities

- Children with disabilities were two to three times more likely to be victims of bullying than their peers without disabilities.

- The bullying happened more often and was most often related to their disability.

Wall, Wheaton and Zuver, 2009

In a landmark study conducted in 1994, researchers found that children with visible physical conditions or disabilities, such as cerebral palsy and Down syndrome, are more likely to be called names or actively excluded from social activities (Olweus, 1994).

Bullying Facts - 2

In 2009, the Massachusetts Advocates for Children in a survey of nearly 400 parents of children with autism across the state found that 88% of children with autism have been bullied at school ranging from verbal abuse to physical contact.

Bullying Facts - 3

Other researchers have discovered that students with disabilities were more worried about school safety and being injured or harassed by peers, compared to students without a disability (Saylor & Leach, 2009). 60% of students with disabilities reported being bullied compared to 25% of the general student population (British Journal of Learning Support, 2008).

Bullying Facts - 4

New research into the effects of bullying suggests that bullying can change a person’s brain while he/she is growing and developing. These changes in the brain are similar to those in children who have been physically and sexually abused in early childhood.

Bullying Facts - 5

Emily Anthes, 2010

The most recent version of the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistic Manual) recently updated its definition of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) to note that in the case of trauma such as bullying, PTSD can also come about by way of an "accumulation of many small, individually non-life-threatening incidents.“

Bullying Facts - 6

www.bullyonline.org

Bullying in school is against the law

Illinois is 1 of 47 states that have

anti-bullying laws for schools

Workplace Bullying - 1

Ongoing mistreatment that may include

- Verbal and non-verbal abuse

- Threats, humiliation, and intimidation

- Interfering with work

Workplace Bullying - 2

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) reports that “harassment” tops the list of formal complaints received from people with disabilities.

Workplace Bullying - 3

A poll conducted by UNISON (a British trade union) found that more than 1/3 of workers with disabilities said they were being bullied at work and 22% reported the problem as ongoing.

Workplace Bullying - 4

Another British poll found that workers with disabilities were not only subject to lower expectations and negative social treatment, but they experienced workplace violence at nearly twice the rate of workers without disabilities.

Workplace Bullying is against the law in Illinois

The Healthy Workplace Bill guides employers and employees

Illinois was the 15th state to introduce the Healthy Workplace Bill

www.healthyworkplacebill.org/bill.php

Healthy Workplace Bill

National Crime Prevention Council

• Want power

• Have a positive attitude toward violence

• Have quick tempers

• Have difficulty conforming to rules

• Like hurting people and believe they are rewarded (attention, material goods) from their bullying

• May have positive self images

People Who Bully - 1

• Lack concern for others

• Are concerned with what they want rather than what others may want

• Find it difficult to see things from someone else’s point of view

• Are willing to use others to get what they want

People Who Bully - 2

National Crime Prevention Council

abillitypath.org

Why People with Disabilities may be the Target of Bullying People with disabilities who are bullied often

stand out as being different

Signs of Possible Bullying

• Physical Changes

• Emotional Changes

• Behavioral/Social Changes

National Crime Prevention Council

Physical Changes

• Cuts, bruises, scratches, broken bones

• Headaches, stomachaches

• Damaged possessions

• “Missing” possessions that need to be replaced

• Missing money

National Crime Prevention Council

Emotional Changes

• Withdrawal and/or shyness

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Aggression

National Crime Prevention Council

Behavioral/Social Changes

• Changes in eating or sleeping habits

• No longer wanting to participate in activities once enjoyed

• Beginning to bully siblings and/or friends or mistreating family pets

• Hurting self, attempting or threatening suicide

• Suddenly changing friends

National Crime Prevention Council

Other Changes

• Not wanting to go to school or work

• Changing method of going to school or work (changing walking route, wanting to be driven instead of riding the bus)

• Drop in grades or change in work habits

National Crime Prevention Council

When you notice changes…

• Ask to meet with the person in safe place of the person’s choice

• Gently point out the changes you’ve noticed

• Ask the person to share what has happened or is happening

• Listen and be fully present with the person

• Ask yourself, “Is this a behavior or is it a response to trauma?”

How Does Bullying Make People Feel?

Reasons People Don’t Stand Up for the Victim - 1

• The bully is someone others look up to and want to hang out with.

• They agree with the bully because it makes them feel strong.

• They’re entertained by the bullying.

• They don’t think speaking up will help.

Reasons People Don’t Stand Up for the Victim - 2

• They’re afraid that if they say something, the bully will hurt them.

• They are afraid of being called a “tattletale”.

• They feel that bullying is just “something that happens” to people and it is no big deal.

Tattling versus Telling

Tattling – Is trying to get someone in trouble.

Telling – When you tell about bullying, you are helping someone else.

Silence = Supporting the person who is bullying

We need YOU to help stop bullying.

Put a Stop to Bullying

• Speak up

• Encourage others to speak up

“Cut that out!” “Stop that!” “That’s not funny!”

“You’re hurting him/her”

• Make friends with someone who gets picked on

• Tell a trusted person

Are You Being A Bully?

• Does it make you feel better to hurt other people or take their things?

• Do you sometimes use your size, strength, title/position to get your way?

• Are you bullying someone because you have been bullied?

Stop Bullying Others!

• Apologize to people that you have hurt, and follow it up by being respectful.

• If you are having a hard time feeling good about yourself, explore ways to boost your self-esteem.

• If you feel like you’re having trouble controlling your feelings, especially anger, talk to someone about getting help.

You Are NOT Your Label

Labels are for cans, not for people.

7 Things To Do When Someone Tells You of Bullying

1. Honor Roll

2. Acknowledge Feelings

3. Self-Disclosure

4. Come Up with Strategies and Perspectives

5. Nail the Door Open

6. Never Do Work…

7. Follow Up

the are word, Dave Hingsburger

What Not To Do When Someone Tells You of Bullying

Don’t say, “Just ignore it”.

Long-Term Effects of Bullying

• Mental or Physical Health Related Consequences ~ PTSD

• Lack of friends or no friends

• Poor performance in school and/or work

• Violence

Dr. David Lowenstein, 2012

Strategies for Agencies/Organizations

• Involve self-advocates, family members, staff, and your local sexual assault center

• Implement a policy against bullying

• Implement a comprehensive bullying prevention program

• Provide training for everyone

• Investigate bullying incidents and work with people involved to prevent future incidents

National Crime Prevention Council

Mark Dombeck, Ph.D., 2007

Undoing the Damage

• Help the person feel good about himself/herself

• Help the person to feel safe within his/her world

• Help the person to find his/her gifts and talents

• Help the person gain control over moods and feelings

• Support the person in accomplishing goals

The Power of Power

There are three kinds of power in the world:

– POWER OVER

“I’m in charge - you’re not.”

– POWER WITH

“Let’s work together as equals.”

– POWER WITHIN

“I am a strong person inside!”

October is Bullying Awareness Month

Special Thanks To…

• Det. Andrew Palese, Delaware State Police, School Resource Officer

• DeKalb County School System

• National Crime Prevention Council

• Walk a Mile in Their Shoes: Bullying and the Child with Special Needs, A Report and Guide from AbilityPath.org

• PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center

• Dave Hingsberger

Illinois Imagines © 2012

To learn more about Illinois Imagines, please visit www.illinoisimagines.org.