Steps to Respect

Steps to RespectBullying Prevention Program

Respect What does respect mean?- Treating people the way you want to

be treated

Do you need to treat people with respect even when you are upset or frustrated?

- Yes, it is always expected that you treat people with respect

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4B1jsVKto9k

How do people feel when they are left out?•Angry * Hurt•Mad * Disappointed•Upset * Sad

How do people feel when they are included?

•Happy * Calm•Excited * Content

Peers wanting to join in an activity1. When are times to include them?- Group games in the classroom or on the

playground- Lunch discussions

2. When are times it’s okay to politely say that you aren’t interested right now?

- Having a private conversation- At the end of a game when a person tries to

join

What are polite ways to respond to requests to join in?•Sure

•Maybe later

•Now isn’t a good time, maybe tomorrow

•Can we finish this game first?

Joining In Responses Worksheet

Read “Joining In” Cards•Is the person being expected or

unexpected?

•Do others want to be around him/her?

Bullying is when someone…..

•Bullying is unfair and one-sided. It happens when someone keeps hurting, frightening, threatening, or leaving someone out on purpose.

• http://www.pacer.org/bullying/video/player.asp?video=43 What is bullying?• http://www.pacer.org/bullying/video/player.asp?video=40 How bullying feels

• Repeated, Imbalance of Power, Purposeful

To recognize bullying, ask:•Is it fair?•Is it one-sided? Is one person trying to hurt someone who is not trying to hurt back?Bullying (one-sided) Not Bullying (two-sided)

To recognize bullying, ask:•Is someone using power in a hurtful way?- What are ways people have or use power? * having more friends/ more people * being older * better job/position/toy etc.

Examples of how others may use power in a hurtful way•A girl has an electronic game that many

students are interested in, but she will only let certain people play with it.

- The girl controls who uses the game to gain power over the others.

•A boy says, “You can’t play with us because you’re not in our club.”

- Being part of a club gives the students in it power over others who want to join

Bullying- using power•People may get their power from:- Having games (or other things)- Having certain friends or more friends- Being bigger or older- More popular than someone elseNone of these things are bad, unless they are

used to try to hurt or control others.When a person tries to hurt or control

others using these things, then that person is bullying.

Bullying- Clip •http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q2vrY

6NsSQ (0- 1.15)

•Is this bullying?

•What power is being used to bully?

Let’s look at scenarios and determine if it’s bullying using R I P

•Scenario #1: Every day during lunch, AJ pushes Junior out of line to get ahead of him. AJ is older and louder than Junior, who is usually shy and quiet. Junior asked him to stop several times, but AJ keeps doing it.

R – Repeated (more than once)I – Imbalance of Power P - Purposeful (intent to do harm)

Scenario #1: Every day during lunch, AJ pushes Junior out of line to get ahead of him. AJ is older and louder than Junior, who is usually shy and quiet. Junior asked him to stop several times, but AJ keeps doing it.

• R: It happened every day during lunch. If it happened twice, it would be enough to meet the repeated requirement.

• I: AJ is older and thus may have more power. Imbalance of power can also include who has more friends, or different personality types. For example AJ is loud and Junior is shy and quiet.

• P: Junior asked him to stop, and AJ didn’t. This shows that AJ knew it was unwanted behavior and it was hurting in some way. Junior continued to be hurtful on purpose.

Scenario #2: A week ago Allie got a new haircut, and since then, a group of girls at her school have been telling her she looks ugly. Allie told them that it hurts her feelings and even started to cry one day. The girls didn’t stop and continued to make fun of her.

• R: The incident started a week ago, and it’s implied it’s happened several times since then. Even if an incident happened in the morning and on the same day another incident happened in the afternoon, it would be considered repeated.

• I: A group of girls has more power than a single girl; this is called social status or social power.

• P: Allie told the girls it hurt her feelings and they continued to make fun of her. They knew she didn’t like it and they continued to be hurtful on purpose.

Recognizing Bullying•Complete Round 1: place each situation

in the “bullying” or “not bullying” pile

Recognizing Bullying- Three Not Bullying Cards

- Card 4: Natalie’s remark was about the game, not about Meredith

- Card 8: Sam might be rude to Matt, but we don’t know if he is being unfair or threatening to him

- Card 12: Sarah tells Steve to stop copying her paper, but she is not threatening or hurting him

Face-to-Face BullyingEasiest type of bulling to recognize•More obvious to the person being bullied

and to others•The person being bullied and the person

doing the bullying are both present•The person being bullied knows that it is

happening and usually knows who is doing the bullying

Examples of Face to Face Bullying•Repeatedly:- hitting, poking or shoving someone- Yelling at someone- Refusing to let someone join- Making rude gestures like rolling your eyes

Why is this type of bullying easy to recognize?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVcJknydelM

(bullying example)

Behind the Back BullyingHarder to recognize this type of bullying • Less obvious to the person being bullied and to

others• Person being bullied might not be there when

the bullying is happening• The person being bullied might not know that is

it happening or who is doing the bullying

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUQqrFEyLsw(What is gossiping?)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiGXTv6QWcc

(What happens when you gossip?)

Examples of Behind the Back Bullying•Secretly trying to exclude someone•Gossiping•Spreading rumors•Setting someone up to look foolish

**Just as bad, hurtful, and unfair as face-to-face bullying

Why is this type of bullying harder to recognize?

Draw a picture of each type of bullying1. Fold your paper in half2. On one side draw a picture of face-to-

face bullying3. On the other side, draw a picture of

behind the back bullying

Three people involved in Bullying:1. The person bullying2. The person being targeted3. The bystanders (people who

watch/witness the bullying)

What can you do?• http://www.stopbullying.gov/videos/2013/

04/be-more-than-bystander.html (be more than a bystander)

•http://www.stopbullying.gov/videos/2013/04/be-the-hero.html (be the hero)

1. Be their friend2. Tell a trusted adult3. Help them get away4. Don’t give bullying an audience5. Set a good example

Telling/ Reporting

vs. Tattling

Is it Telling or Tattling?1. Kelly tripped me on purpose in the

hallway2. Bob didn’t do his homework3. Billy says if I don’t let him copy off my

test, he’ll beat me up. 4. Sofia took out her cell phone during class

even though we’re not supposed to5. Kim’s desk is messy. 6. Jose told us not play with the new kid