St. Lawrence Marriage Policy · 2015. 9. 28. · version 2015-02 3 INTRODUCTION On behalf of the entire St. Lawrence community, we congratulate you on your engagement to be married!

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St. Lawrence Marriage Policy

St. Lawrence Church 1916 Meharry St.

Lafayette, IN 47904

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Checklist: ______1. Meet 4-5 times with pastor, associate pastor, or deacon (unless approved by the

pastor to do marriage prep with another priest). This must be a minimum of 6 months prior (preferably one year prior) to desired wedding date.

______2. Attend Pre-Cana Workshop at least 6 weeks prior to wedding date (this is a

diocesan requirement)

_____ 3. Meet with the music director about music for the wedding ceremony. ______4. (Highly encouraged) Attend Natural Family Planning workshops. ______5. You will be asked to do the following:

(1) Notify your priest or deacon immediately if you have a prior marriage, even if it wasn’t in the Catholic Church

(2) Obtain proof of baptism with notations (please specify “with notations” when obtaining from church of Baptism)

(3) Obtain 2 witnesses to establish freedom for marriage (4) Obtain a civil marriage license from Indiana

______6. Go to the sacrament of Reconciliation within a week of the wedding (for Catholics) ______7. Register as a couple in your parish after the wedding

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INTRODUCTION On behalf of the entire St. Lawrence community, we congratulate you on your engagement to be married! Our prayer before God is that your marriage will bear much fruit, not only in this life, but in the life to come. We eagerly anticipate the day when the two of you, before God and his Church, will give yourselves to each other in an absolute bond of unfailing and selfless love. With the grace of God, you will create a new family that will become the very path by which you will become holy. This packet of information is to assist you as you build the foundation of your blessed marriage. MARRIAGE: A SACRAMENT “The marriage covenant, by which a man and a woman form with each other an intimate communion of life and love, has been founded and endowed with its own special laws by the Creator. By its very nature it is ordered to the good of the couple, as well as to the generation and education of children. Christ the Lord raised marriage between the baptized to the dignity of a sacrament.”1 MARRIAGE AS WITNESS Grace is given to assist the married couple and strengthen their indissoluble bond of unity. “Christ is the source of this grace. ‘Just as of old God encountered his people with a covenant of love and fidelity, so our Savior, the spouse of the Church, now encounters Christian spouses through the sacrament of Matrimony.’ Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another's burdens, to ‘be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ,’ and to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love. In the joys of their love and family life he gives them here on earth a foretaste of the wedding feast of the Lamb.”2 MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROCESS The marriage preparation process is not designed merely to assist a couple in planning their wedding day. The marriage ceremony is the beginning of a life-long sacramental commitment. Our focus will be the marriage and less so, the wedding day. Our hope is that the couple will grow in appreciation of marriage as a Christian vocation and Sacrament (guided and protected by the laws of God), to help the couple identify aspects of their relationship which may need to be resolved before they commit themselves to marriage, and to plan the wedding ceremony. In your initial meeting, your freedom to marry should be established. If one, or both of you, had a previous marriage, it is your responsibility to mention this immediately.

1 Catechism of the Catholic Church, par. 1660. 2 Catechism of the Catholic Church, par. 1642.

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REQUIREMENTS 1) All marriage and wedding preparation must be completed at least one month prior to the

day of marriage. 2) St. Lawrence is available for weddings to those parishioners who have been registered as

active and contributing parishioners (including sons and daughters of parishioners) for at least six months prior to requesting marriage preparation.

3) Non-parishioners may reserve the wedding date no sooner than 6 months in advance: a) Written permission from their own pastor first b) Permission from the pastor of St. Lawrence c) Marriage preparation with the priest or deacon performing the wedding d) A priest or deacon for the ceremony (he must be approved by the bishop of the

Diocese of Lafayette-in-Indiana) e) $500 fee for the use of the church

4) For their emotional and spiritual well-being, couples who are cohabitating will be encouraged to find alternative housing arrangements prior to the wedding.

5) Couples preparing for marriage are responsible for their formation; parents should limit their involvement in this portion of preparation.

6) The pastor of St. Lawrence may adjust this policy according to individual needs. MARRIAGE PREPARATION ESSENTIALS

1) FOCCUS Inventory: Couples will be given an inventory during their first meeting with the priest. The inventory consists of a number of agree/disagree statements. The FOCCUS inventory will facilitate open couple communication, understanding, study, and will identify aspects of their personal relationship on which they may need to work. The priest will discuss the results of FOCCUS with the couple. FOCCUS is taken online and costs $15 per couple (payable online).

2) Pre-Cana: Pre-Cana is a one day workshop with a series of presentations and small group activities. It is presented by married couples and pastoral staff. Pre-Cana is not optional. If the options for the Pre-Cana workshop do not work for the couple, they should indicate this to the priest as soon as possible and other arrangements will have to be determined. Registration for Pre-Cana is handled through the diocesan Pastoral Office for Family Life: www.dol-in.org/marriage-preparation

3) Instruction in Natural Family Planning (NFP): “By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory.” Although not required, attending a class on NFP is highly recommended for the benefit of your marriage. We would be happy to assist you in finding and enrolling in these classes.

4) Documents: A packet of documents for each marriage is assembled and kept in the archives of the parish. It includes the results of the FOCCUS, a certificate of attendance at Pre-Cana, affidavits attesting to the freedom to marry (normally completed by parents), and certificates of Baptism & Confirmation. A birth certificate will be required for those who have not been Baptized.

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SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES 1) Previous Marriage(s): In order to be married in the Catholic Church, each of the parties

must be free to marry according to Church law. When a previous marriage existed, special investigations will be made to determine one’s freedom to marry. Some of these investigations may take an extended period of time to accomplish. Wedding dates cannot be set until freedom to marry is established.

2) Mixed Religion: When one of the parties is not Catholic, opportunities will be provided for the couple to learn more about the Catholic Church together. Likewise, the Catholic party is expected to understand the nature and obligations of the non-Catholic party’s faith and practices. In these marriages, the Catholic party must promise to do all in his/her power to raise his/her children in the Catholic Church. The party who is non-Catholic does not need to sign this promise. This wedding ceremony takes place in the context of a Liturgy of the Word.

3) When One of the Parties is Under 21 years of Age If one or both of the parties is under 21 years of age, the Diocese of Lafayette requires the priest to refer the couple to a counselor who will meet with the couple and make a report which becomes part of the marriage preparation documents.

THE WEDDING CEREMONY The Catholic wedding ceremony will be either a Nuptial Mass or a Liturgy of the Word. Together for Life is a booklet that will help you prepare your ceremony. Working within the framework provided by the book, you will select the Scripture readings. All music for the wedding liturgy must be approved by the parish music director

1) Types of Ceremonies a) Nuptial Mass: When both parties are Catholic, the Rite of Marriage is celebrated

within the Nuptial Mass. b) Liturgy of the Word: When one party is not Catholic, a Liturgy of the Word is

celebrated. Readings and music are selected and the wedding is administered outside the context of Mass.

2) Roles: a) Cantor (required for Nuptial Mass): The music director must meet with you to select

music and to provide the music minister(s). b) Reader: There are 2 readings from Sacred Scripture as well as prayer petitions to be

read at the ceremony. Keeping in mind the persons’ ability to read well and proclaim the Word of God, couples may invite friends or relatives (who are Catholic) to perform this ministry. If it is not a Nuptial Mass a baptized non-Catholic may proclaim the reading. All readers must be present at the rehearsal to practice.

c) Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion (only needed at a Nuptial Mass): If the wedding is to be celebrated during Mass, there may be a need for ministers of Holy Communion. Friends and family members of the couple who have been commissioned as Eucharistic Ministers at St. Lawrence may serve in this ministry. Parish Eucharistic Ministers are also available.

d) Ushers: Generally, the groom’s attendants function as greeters and ushers and fulfill the duties of this ministry.

3) Time of Weddings: Saturday weddings may be scheduled before 2:00pm. Weddings have use of the church until 3:30pm. Every effort will be made to work with couples to

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accommodate their needs, and arrangements can be made to have the wedding take place on a day other than Saturday. Visiting priests must be delegated by the pastor and approved by the bishop.

4) Rehearsal: Rehearsals are important in order to make all attendants and participants feel comfortable. They are held to give everyone a chance to walk through the ceremony. Rehearsals will take no more than one hour. Please ask all participants to be on time. The starting time will not be delayed for the sake of late comers. Please bring your marriage license to the rehearsal.

5) Dressing: The Bride’s Room in the Parish Hall is available for the bride and her party. The groomsmen may use another room designated for his use. We are not responsible for articles left behind or stolen.

6) Decorations: a) Candles, flowers, and other decorations may not be placed on the altar, which is

reserved exclusively for the Eucharist b) Decoration must be in harmony with the current liturgical season. Seasonal liturgical

decorations in the Church sanctuary which have been arranged for Parish worship may not be taken down or replaced for a particular wedding

c) Use of real flower petals in or outside of the church is not allowed. Silk flower petals may be dropped by flower girls but must be removed by the wedding party.

d) Nothing is to be moved without the prior consent of the parish priest and must be restored to its original place after the ceremony.

e) Tape will not be permitted on church pews. f) Because unity is apparent in the vows and even more so in the reception of the

Eucharist, other non-Catholic signs of unity are discouraged. [optional unity candles are the only approved addition]

7) Clean-up: The parish is not responsible for personal items brought in by the wedding party. After the wedding, all personal items must be picked up and removed from the Church.

8) Photography: The photographer is not allowed to move/remove Church furniture in order to create a portrait studio effect. Photography is allowed in front of the altar area prior to the ceremony. All photography must be completed 30 minutes prior to the start time of your ceremony, as guests will begin to arrive. During the ceremony, photographers are not permitted in front of the first pew and cannot use flash.

9) Videography: Before hiring a videographer, you need to talk to the parish priest. Video equipment cannot distract from the solemnity of the ceremony.

10) Marian Dedication: Some may wish to follow the Catholic tradition of offering flowers to Mary, signifying their devotion to the Blessed Mother. This is allowed and encouraged, but not required.

FINAL REMINDERS

1) Smoking is not permitted anywhere in the church building. 2) Food and beverages are not permitted in the church building. 3) Alcoholic beverages are not permitted on parish grounds. 4) No one under the influence of alcoholic beverages is allowed in the church. If any

wedding party members or guests should arrive intoxicated, they will be asked to leave.

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5) Rice, bird seed, balloons, confetti, flower petals, etc. are not permitted to be thrown on the Church property.

6) No flash pictures are to be taken during the ceremony by either photographers or guests. Flash pictures may be taken during the processional and recessional only.

7) Please arrange to have someone remove all your belongings after the wedding; i.e. guest book, programs, flowers, etc. The church must be returned to the state it was in prior to the wedding ceremony.

SACRED MUSIC Please refer to music director for appropriate music selections. (765) 742-2107 ext. 229. FEES All applicable fees are due and payable to St. Lawrence before any wedding date can be considered set and confirmed. Pre-Cana (paid to Diocese of Lafayette-in-Indiana)....................................................................$40 FOCCUS inventory (paid online)..……………………………………………………………. $15 Church stipend for active registered parishioners......………………………………….. No charge (To be considered an “active parishioner,” one must be registered and a good and faithful steward at St. Lawrence for at least 6 months prior to setting the wedding date.) Church stipend for non-parishioners..........................................................................................$500 Altar Servers (suggested stipend per server)…………………………………………………...$10 Accompanist, Instrumentalist, Vocalist(s) To be arranged with the Music Director Offering for Priest An offering for the church and for the priest officiating is customary. The amount is left to the discretion of the wedding couple. A standard offering is $200. Refund Policy Our refund policy is determined on an individual basis. The amount of refund will be determined after a meeting with the pastor.

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Personal copy for your records

We have read, understand, and accept the policies and procedures for marriage preparation and celebrating the wedding liturgy at St. Lawrence Catholic Church. ____________________________________ _____________________ Groom Date ____________________________________ _____________________ Bride Date ____________________________________ _____________________ Pastor Date St. Lawrence Marriage Policy 2015-2 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cut here and turn in to parish

We have read, understand, and accept the policies and procedures for marriage preparation and celebrating the wedding liturgy at St. Lawrence Catholic Church. ____________________________________ _____________________ Groom Date ____________________________________ _____________________ Bride Date ____________________________________ _____________________ Pastor Date St. Lawrence Marriage Policy 2015-2