SPI 236 Secrets and Science to Living the Good Life with Jonathan Fields October 19, 2016
SPI 236
Secrets and Science to Living the Good Lifewith Jonathan Fields
October 19, 2016
Show NoteS: http://www.smartpassiveincome.com/session236
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Pat: ThisistheSmartPassiveIncomePodcastwithPatFlynn,Session
Number236.Yougood?Good?Okay,let’sgo.
Announcer: WelcometotheSmartPassiveIncomePodcast,whereit’sallabout
workinghardnow,soyoucansitbackandreapthebenefitslater,
andnowyourhost.Hisdadjokesaregettingbetterwithevery
minute,PatFlynn.
Pat: What’sup,everybody?PatFlynnhere.Thankyousomuchfor
joiningmetoday.I’msostokedtowelcomeagoodfriendofmine,
andI’mjustverythankfulthatheismyfriend,becauseforthe
longesttimehewasjustoneofthosementors,somebodywhoI
hadlookeduptoforawhile,whoIneverthoughtI’dbeableto
haveaccessto.Tohavehimcomeontheshowtodayisjusta
specialtreatforme,andforyouguystoo,becausehe’samazing.
HisnameisJonathanFields,andIwasfirstintroducedtohimway
backwhenIwasstartingoutinonlinebusiness.Hewasoneof
thosepeoplethatwereonthesamelevel,tome,asTimFerrisand
GaryVaynerchuk.IjusthadseenJonathanFieldsthere,andhe
hadalwaystakenadifferentapproachfromthoseother2guys.
Hewastheguythatwasalwaysaboutmindfulnessandreally
understandingwhatthepurposeisinyourlife.Likeme,heisa
familymanaswell,andthat’swhatIreallyrespectedabouthim.To
nowhavebecomefriendswithhimandtohavehimontheshowis
justsuchagreattreat,andI’mjustsohappythathe’shere.
Todaywe’regoingtobetalkingabouthisnewbook,whichiscalled
HowtoLiveaGoodLife.Iknowthatsoundslike,“Oh,well,whoare
youtotellmewhatagoodlifeis?”Hebreaksitdowninavery,very
interesting,buteasy-to-understandway,andwe’llalsotalkabout
hisGoodLifeProject,whichishispodcastandhisvideopodcast,
andhisserieswhereheinterviewstheseamazingpeopleandgets
tounderstand,“Well,howaretheyabletolivethelifethattheywant
tolive?”Wearegoingtogetintoallthatstuffrightnow,sowithout
furtherado,hereisJonathanFields,fromGoodLifeProject.com.
What’sup,everybody?I’msohappytowelcomesomebodywho
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I’vebeenlookinguptoforyearsnow,andIjustsothankfulhe’son
theshowwithustoday.ThisisJonathanFields.Jonathan,thank
youforcomingontheshow.
Jonathan: It’smypleasure,man.Thankssomuchforhavingme.
Pat: I’veknownyouforquiteawhile.Iwasactuallyveryinspiredbya
TEDTalkyoudidalongtimeagoaboutfearandhowwecanall
usefearasfuelfortheprojectsthatwe’redoing,andyoutoldthis
amazingstory.You’resuchagreatstorytellerandyou’rewonderful
onstage.
Sincethen,you’vecreatedsomethingcalledtheGoodLifeProject,
whichiswherealotofpeopleknowyoufromnow.Canyoutalka
littlebitaboutwhattheGLPis,andwhatitstandsfor?
Jonathan: Yeah.GoodLifeProjectreallystartedasanoutgrowthofjustmy
ownpersonaldeepfascinationwithhumanpotential,withwhatit
actuallytakestolivewellintheworld,andI’vebeenonthatjourney
fordecades,forthebetterpartofmylife;Iturned50lastyear.
Pat: Congrats.
Jonathan: Thanks,andsoI’vejustbeenreallytryingtofigureitout,whatare
thebiglevers?Whatmakesthebiggestdifferenceinourtimeon
theplanet,andwhat’sallthestuffthatreallydoesn’tmatter?How
canIlearnfromthepeoplethatareactuallyembodyingthisand
thenturnaroundandsimplify,streamline,andsharewhateveritis
thatI’mlearning?
TheGoodLifeProject,theactualventure,startedin2012.Actually,
italmoststartedasafluke.Iwaswritingmyyear-endrecappost
asabloggerandthatturnedintothis40-pagedesignedannual
report.Attheendofthat,Iteasedthesethingscalledmy10
CommandmentsofBusiness,whichisjustanalternativeway
thatIlookatbuildingbusiness,atdoingentrepreneurshipand
contributingtotheworld.IthenteasedthisthingcalledtheGood
LifeProject,whichsaidwascoming,andhonestlywasn’tentirely
Show NoteS: http://www.smartpassiveincome.com/session236
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surewhatitwasgoingtobebackthen,butIknewIwantedto
createsomethingaroundit.
Thosethings,bothThe10Commandments,andtheideaofthe
GoodLifeProjecttookoffonline.Weactuallystartedbybuilding
theeducationalsideoftheventureandthenbuiltaroundthat
mediawithvideos,andtheneventuallyapodcast,andthencourses
andevents,andnowreallyabeautiful,flourishingglobalcommunity
ofpeoplewhoarereallyleaningdeepintotheexplorationofwhatit
meanstoreallylivewellintheworld.
Pat: WhatIloveabouttheGoodLifeProjectisit’snotjustthereforgood
andforthegoodofothers;it’ssowelldone.Thequalityisamazing.
OutofallthevideosthatI’veseenwherepeopleareinterviewing
others,you’rearetop-notch,Iwouldsay,andsomethingtolookup
to.Whoaresomeoftheinterviewsyouremember?Whataresome
ofthemostmemorableonesforyou?
Jonathan: Thereareahandfulthathavereallystuckwithme,fordifferent
reasons.Forexample,acoupleofyearsagoIhadtheopportunity
tositdownwithsomebodynamedMiltonGlaser.What’sinteresting
abouthimisthatprettymucheverybodyknowshiswork,butunless
you’reinthedesignfieldyouprobablydon’trealizethename.
Miltonisactuallythemosticoniclivingdesigner.Heis,Ibelieve,86,
atthetimethatwe’rerecordingthis,stillmassivelyprolific,runsa
designstudioinNewYorkCity,hasmuseumshows,teaches.What
peoplemayknowhimfor,ormayknowhiswork,probablyishe’s
thecreatorofthemostripped-offlogointhehistoryoflogos,which
isIHeartNY,alongwithliterallymillionsofotherthings,andhe’s
taughtfor50years.
Thethingthatactuallyresonatedwithmeishe’sgotthisstunning
bodyofwork,butthebiggerthingthatresonatedwithmewhen
Ilefthimwasthewaythathelivedhislife,andthewaythat,not
“lived,”liveshislife,andthewaythathe’sbuilthiscareer,which
isthathecouldhavebuiltamassivedesignagency.Hecould
havegonereallybig.Hecouldhavebuiltstructure,processand
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employees,andallofthisstuff.Instead,heveryconsciouslychosea
differentpath.
Hechosetostaysmallandtobeveryselective,andtoletthework
createhisrippleintheworld,andtomovebeyondthatbyteaching,
teachinggenerationsandgenerationsofotherpeopletoseethe
worlddifferentlyandtodesignandtomakeadifference.He’shad
thisabsolutelyincredibleimpactandatthesametimekepthislife
reallyalmostexquisitelyintimateinthewaythatheliveshislife,the
waythathecontributes.Hestillhasastudiowithjustahandfulof
peoplethatheworkswithinthestudio,andhe’svery,veryselective
abouttheworkthathedoes.
Pat: Oh,man,tobeaflyonthewallathisofficetoseehowheselects
wouldbeamazing.
Jonathan: Yeah,itwassuchanincredibleconversation.Forhim,hewasoneof
thepeoplewhereIwalkedoutofthat,andthiswaswhenwewere
filming,soweactuallyfilmedthewholethingathisstudio.Iwalked
outofthereandmycrewdidn’twantittoend.Theywerelike,
“Wow,Iwishwecouldhavestayedhereallday.”Itwasalsooneof
themomentswhereIwasstruckandIwastryingtofindoutwhyI
wassostruckbyit.WhatIrealizedwasthatIlookedatthewaythat
hewasbuildinghislifeandhiscareer,andIwaslike,“Youknow
what?Iwouldstepintothat.”Thechoicesthathe’smaking,the
elevationofcraftanddevotiontofamily,andtolife,wassomething
whereitjustfeltsoalignedwiththewaythatIapproachlife.
Pat: Ilovethat,andlikeyousaidearlier,inhisworldhe’swellknown,
yethehadn’tmadethechoicetogohuge,likeallofusassumewe
havetogoinordertomakethatrippleeffect.He’sbeenabletodo
itwithhiscraftlikeyousaid.Idefinitelyhavetocheckthatout.
Iwanttogettoyourbookreallyquick.Congratulationsonyournew
book.Iwasveryfortunatetogetanadvancecopyofit.It’scalled,
HowtoLifeaGoodLife:SoulfulStories,SurprisingScience,and
PracticalWisdom.
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Thisisn’tyourfirstbook.You’vewrittenmanybooksinthepast,but
beforewegetintothecontentofthebook,Ijustwanttoknowwho
isJonathanFields,theauthorandtheentrepreneur?Ithinkpeople
whoarelisteningtothiswanttogettoknowyoualittlebitmorefirst.
Jonathan: Yeah,yeah,no,mypleasure.Fundamentally,IthinkI’macreator.I’m
somebodywho’sconstantlysearchingforandtryingtounderstand
humannature,thehumancondition,andwhatmakesitbetter.
That’sledme,forthebetterpartofmylifeonthecontributionside
ofthings,tobecomingandentrepreneur,tobecominganartistand
amaker.Iwasalemonadestandkid.I’vebeenfortunatetofound,
build,andsellahandfulofcompanies,bothbrickandmortar,and
largelyintheonlinespace.
Backin2008,actuallywhenIwasstillrunningayogacenterin
NewYorkCity…Youcantellit’sNewYorkCity,becauseyoucan
probablyhearthesirensinthebackgroundrightnow;thisis100%
authentic.Ireallystartedtodevelopadeepfascinationwiththe
craftoflanguageandwriting.IactuallysoldmyfirstbookwhileI
wasstillrunningayogastudioandteachingyoga,andgoingdeep
intoexploringthehumanconditionfromthatside,andatthesame
timewasjustjonesingonunderstandinghowtowritebetter.
Sincethen,I’veshiftedalotofmyfocusintotheworldofmediaand
writing,andcreatingtrainingsandevents,allinthenameofreally
tryingtojustdialin,focusonthisbigquestion:Whatdoesitactually
meantolivewellintheworld?
I’mfarenoughintolifenowthat…SteveJobs’famousquote,“You
lookbackandconnectthedotslookingbackwards.”Ihaveenough
dotsnowtobeabletostarttolookbackandseethatthecommon
threadinalmosteverythingthatI’vedoneisthisdeepinterestin
humanpotential,inthehumancondition.Howdowelivealife
that’sdeeplymeaningful,wherewe’revitalandalive,andwefeel
profoundlyconnectedtothosearoundus,tosomethingbiggerthan
us?That’sreallybeenthethemethatguidesme.
Also,ifyoulookatanybiothatIshare,Iprettymuchalwaysstartby
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sayingnotbooksI’vewrittenorbusinessesI’vebuilt,butbysaying
I’madadandahusband,andthat’stheheartbeatofmylife.Iknow
it’ssimilarforyou.Everythingrevolvesaroundmyabilitytojust
beapresentandengagedpersoninmyfamily,becausethat’smy
deepestlove.
Pat: Thankyouforthat.Ithinkthat’swhyyouandI,thefewtimeswe’ve
actuallymet,weconnectedreallywell,becausewehavethatsame
understandingwithwhywedowhatwedo.Whatisitaboutthis
stuffthat…Youcouldresearchallthisstuff,youcanliveit,andyou
canexperienceit,andpracticeityourself,whichyouaredoing,but
whyandwhatismakingyouwanttoteachthistoeverybodyelse?
Jonathan: It’sareallygoodquestion.It’sfunny,becauseit’sbeenaconsistent
patternforme,isthatIgointoreallycomplicatedtopics.Idodeep
researchsometimesforyears,andthenItryandsimplifythingsand
thenturnaroundandthemomentIthinkthatI’vegotsomething
that’llmakeiteasierforotherpeopletoexplore,IturnaroundandI
teachit.It’sbeenthatwayasanentrepreneurintheveryearlydays,
aseventuallyayogateacher,andasawriterandateacher.There’s
somethingaboutme,there’sateacherinme.
Yeah,Ithinkoneofthethingsthatlightsmeupistheabilitytoturn
aroundandpatternrecognize.Takeallthiscomplexstuff,distillitinto
somethingthat’salmostdeceptivelysimple,yetreallypowerful,and
thenshareitinawaythatallowspeopletostepintoitalotfaster
andmoreeffectivelythanalotoftimesthebumpsandbruisesit
tookmetogetthere.IlovetobeinaroomwhenIseethelightsgo
on,whenIseesomebodysparked.Whenaseeaflickerofpossibility
insomebody’seyestobeinaplacewhereIhavetheopportunity
tocreatethatisjust,it’skindofmagicaltome.I’mcurious,because
you’rereallyateacheraswell,doyoufeelthataswell?
Pat: Yeah,onthemicro-level,everytimeIfindanewtoolorsome
amazingtechniquethatworks,Iimmediatelyshareit,justbecause
Iwantotherstoexperiencethatsamething,andIalsowanttobe
theonethatshowsittothem,soIcancontinuetobethereforthem
andsupportthemthroughouttheironlinebusinessjourney,orit’s
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notevenrelatedtoonlinebusiness,towhateveritisthey’redoing.
Iwanttobearesourceforpeople.Ithinkthatgoesalongwith
legacy,Ithink,andthat’ssomethingthat’sreallyimportanttome.
Doyouthinkthatfaraheadintermsofwhyyoudowhatyoudo,in
termsoflegacyandhavingyourinformationliveforyearsbeyond?
Jonathan: Yeah.It’sreallyinteresting,I’veactuallybeenthinkingaboutthe
word“legacy,”alotlately.I’mnotsurewhy.Itprobablyhastodo
withthefactthatI’minmy50thyear.It’sfunny,30and40,Ididn’t
careatall,butsomethinghappenedinthisyearwhereIgotreally
reflectiveandIreallystartedaskingthatquestion,“WhatamIdoing
here?What’smyworkontheplanet,andisitmeaningfultome,and,
hopefully,tootherpeople?”
Yeah,Idothinkaboutit,butthere’sbeenaninterestingshiftinthe
waythatIthinkabouttheword“legacy”aswell,andthatisthatI
thinklessaboutthebodyofworkthatI’mleavingbehind,andIthink
moreaboutlegacyasthewaythatI’mlivingmylifeonanygiven
day.IhavecometotheplacewhereIreallyfeellike,ifIwakeupin
themorningandIcanallowmyselfthebandwidthandthegrace,
andthespacetodogoodworkthatdayandthenIrestmyheadon
mypillowatnightandIclosemyeyesandsay,“Youknowwhat?
Thishasbeenagoodday.I’vedonegoodwork.I’vedonestuffthat
matters,that’smeaningful,thatleverageseverythingthatIhave.”
IfIjustdothateveryday,thenIthinklegacy,byanydefinition,isjust
goingtotakecareofitself.
Pat: Doyouthinktoyourselfatnighteverydaywhetherornotit’sawin
oraloss?
Jonathan: IthinkIprobablydo.Idon’tknowifIactuallyaskthequestionthat
way,butIthinkIdorestmyheadonmypillowatnightandIjust
reflectbriefly.Ihaveabitofamorningpracticeandanevening
practice,andIwanttoknowthatthewayI’vebeenspendingmy
timeisworthit,thatit’smeaningful,it’scontributinginsomeway,
andthat’sit’swellused.Ithinkwealltendtobelievethatthereis
whatwebelievetobepotential,andthenthere’swhatwebelieve
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tobelivingeveryday.Ihaven’tyetmetthepersonthatdoesn’tfeel
thatthere’ssomeamountofgapbetweenthosetwo.
IthinkwhatItryanddoisconsistentlyaskmyself,“AmIdoing
thingsthatallowmetoclosethatgap?AmItakingactionsthat
allowmetostepmorefullyintowhatIbelievetobeasmypotential,
andalsoexploreitandhelpidentifywhatthatspaceis?”Yeah,I
probablydoabitofmini-debriefattheendofeverydayorso,andif
noteveryday,thenminimallyeveryfewdays.
Pat: Yeah,that’ssomethingIdoeveryday.Iuseajournal,calledThe
FiveMinuteJournal,whichactuallyyouwriteineverysingle
morningandeverysinglenight,andatnightyoudoalittlebitofa
debriefonwhatyouwishyouhaddonebetter,butalsowhatwent
awesomethatday.Justtobeabletokeeptrackofthathasmade
memoremotivatedeachdaywhenIwakeuptomakesureIhave
somethingtotalkaboutattheend.
Jonathan: Yeah,no,Itotallylovethat.Ithinkalsoitstartstoputyouintheframe
oflivinglifeasapractice.I’mahugebeliever…It’sinteresting,along
withthebookthat’sbeingtraditionallypublished,we’veactually
spentawholebunchoftimecreatingourowncompanionpractice
journalandtheideaisexactlythat.It’sthatit’salmostlikethere’san
incitingincidentwhichsortoflikeshakesyoufromyourstatusquo
andthenanexperiencewhichallowsyoutolearnsomethingnew,
toessentiallyputonanewlensandgetanewmodelofthewayto
movethroughtheworld.Mostpeoplebecomereallyinspiredforthe
firstmonthorso,andthenitfallsaway.
I’mahugefanofapproachinglife,approachingalmosteverything
asaseriesofdailypracticesthataresomewhatgentle,almost
innocuousinhowsometimeseasytheyfeel,butthenyoukeep
doingthemeverydayandovertimetheyhavethiscompounding
effect,whereyoulookbackafter6monthsorayearandyou’relike,
“Wow.Thingsarereallydifferentinalarge,measurableway.”
Pat: Yeah,Ilovethat.Nowlet’sgetintothebook.Inoneofthefirstfew
pageshereIseeanillustrationthathas3differentbucketsonit,
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andyoutalkaboutthesebucketsthroughoutthebook.It’sevenon
thecoveraswell.Whatistheimportanceofthesebuckets?Howdo
thesethingshelpusvisualizewhat’sgoingoninourlives,andhow
cantheyhelpus?
Jonathan: Yeah,Ireferencedthisearlier.Ifyouaskmyteamwhatmyparticular
rapis,they’llprobablytellyoulanguageandpatternrecognition.I
lovetakingbig,messydatasetsanddistillingthemintoreallysimple
modelsthatpeoplecanactuallyusetoguidetheirbehavior.That’s
essentiallywhattheseGoodLifeBucketsare.
Thetruthisthere’sprobablyverylittlethat’sgenuinelynewin
theworldofhumanpotentialandpersonaldevelopmentin,I’d
probablysay,afewthousandyears,ifI’mbeinghonest.Ithinkthe
bigchallengeisthatinformationveryoftenisn’tshared,isn’toffered
inawaythat’ssimple,digestible,andactionablebyalmostanyone
withoutforcingmassivedisruptionordeepstudy.
Thegoalwastocreateareallysimplemodelthatyoucouldhear
once,yourememberforever,andyoucanwakeupeverymorning
andit’sactionable.Forme,IcalltheseyourGoodLifeBuckets.
Thinkofyourlifeas3differentbucketsandthosebucketsare
Contribution,Connection,andVitality.Yourcontributionbucketis
fundamentallyhowyou’rebringingyourselftotheworld,howyou’re
bringingyourgifts,yourstrengths,yourvaluestotheworld.Areyou
contributinginawaythat’sleveragingthefullnessofwhoyouare,
andisdeeplymeaningfulandmakingadifference?
Yourconnectionbucketisaboutyourrelationships.It’saboutyour
knowledgeofself,butalsoyourrelationshipbetweenanyintimate
partner,familymembers,closefriends,colleagues,yourcommunity,
ifyouhaveaclose,likemindedcommunity.Weallneedareally
deepsenseofbelonging.Ifit’ssomethingthatmatterstoyou,
whetheryoudefineitasSource,orGod,orwhateveritmaybe,and
soit’saboutthoserelationships.
Then,thevitalitybucketisaboutoptimizingyourstateofmindand
body.Ispeakaboutthemnotuniquely,butasonething,because
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it’scrystalclearnowfromalltheresearchthattheyare,infact,a
seamlessfeedbackmechanism.Thereisnoseparatemindand
body,soit’sreallyaboutareyoudoingthingsonadailybasisto
optimizeyourstateofmindandyourstateofbody?
Theideaisreallysimple.It’sthatagoodlifeisaboutfillingthese
bucketsandaboutkeepingthemasfullaspossibleonaregular
basis.Everyday,whatwe’relookingtodoissay,“Hey,super-quick
snapshot,howfulldoesmyvitalitybucketfeeltoday?AmIsatisfied
withthelevelofmyconnectionbucket?AmIsatisfiedwithmy
contributionbucket,withthewaythatI’mcontributingtotheworld?”
Then,ifyou’renot,focusonthebucketthatfeelslikeitreallyneeds
somelove,anddosomethingtofillit,soyou’reconstantlyfilling
thesebuckets.
Thethingaboutthemodelisit’sreallysimple;youhearitonce,
yourememberit,andthenmaybethemostimportantthingtome
isitguidesbehavior.Itwilltellyouwhattodo.Ifyoufeellikeyour
connectionbucketislow,well,thereareawholebunchoftiny
thingsthatyoucando.Youcancommittodoingasinglethingthat
daytoadd,tofillthatbucketabitmore.Whathappensovertimeis
thatyoujustkeepfillingthemprettyclosetofull,andkeeptopping
themoff,andwithouteventhinkingaboutit,withoutanybig,
disruptivemovesormakingbigchanges,yourlifejuststartstogeta
wholelotbetter.
Pat: Ilovethat.It’sinterestingthatyouuse“bucket”astheanalogy
there,becauseIthinkwe’veallheardofTheBucketList,right?
Jonathan: Yeah.
Pat: Weallthinkof,“Okay,thesearethethingswehavetodoonour
bucketlistbeforewedie,inordertoconsiderourselvessomewhat
happythatwe’veachievedthosethingsthatwe’vealwayswanted
toachieve.”You’rebreakingitdowntosomethingnotjusttoshoot
foronedayinthefuture,buthowtoguideyourdailylife.These
buckets,they’rereallyinteresting.We’respeakingonananalogy
rightnow,butaretheyallthesamesize?Canwefillthem?Can
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peopleremovethingsfromthem?
Jonathan: Yeah,Ithinkthey’reallprettymuchthesamesize,althoughit’srare
thatthey’reallfull,andit’srarethatthey’reallequallyfull.Thereare
whatIcall,“Thelawsofthebuckets,”also.
It’sfunnythatyoumentiontheideaofabucketlistessentially,
becausethatphraseoriginallycomesfrom“kickthebucket.”
Whenthattimescomeswhenyoukickthebucket,whereyou
ceasetolive,thesearethethingsyouwanttohavedone,whichis
essentiallywhenthebuckettipsoverandit’sempty.It’sprettymuch
trueofthese3bucketstoo.Ifatanygivenpointanyoneofyour
bucketsrunsdry,you’regoingtofeelaworldofhurt.If2rundry,
you’regoingtobeinexcruciatingpain.If3rundry,youwillliterally
andfigurativelybedead.Youcan’texistatthetimethatall3of
thesebucketsgoemptyandgetkicked.
Idon’tlookatthemasbeingdifferentsizes,butIdolookatthemasa
dynamicprocessofhavingtoregularlyfillthem.It’salmostlikeIlook
atthemas3buckets,andyouhaveawateringcan,andyourjobisto
justkeepcirclingaroundthem,fillingthemalittlebiteachday.
Thethingis,theyallleak,sotherenevercomesatimewhenyou
canfillup,likeyoucompletelytopoffyourvitalitybucket.You’ve
gotthesebeautifulpractices,you’removingyourbody,you’re
meditating,you’reeating,you’resleeping,you’redoingallthese
thingstocompletelyoptimizeyourstateofmindandbeingand
you’relike,“Okay,I’mgood.I’mdone.Canstop.”Thattimenever
happens,becausethatbucketleaksjustliketheotheronesdo,
whichmeansthatthere’saninvitationeveryday.Here’sapractice.
Youneedtokeepdoingalittlesomethingtokeepthemfull,even
whenthey’remostfull.Veryoften,especiallyasentrepreneurs,
wetendtoabandonsomeoftheseandnotrespondtothemuntil
they’recausingalotofhurtforus.
Pat: Itjustremindedme,actually,ofanotherbucketthingthatmysonis
doing.He’sin1stgrade.Hejuststarted1stgradeandontheirfirst
dayofclasstheyreadthisbookcalled,“HaveYouFilledtheBucket
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Today?”Hewastellingmeaboutthisexercisewhereyouimagine
thateverybodyhasabucketandyourjobistotryandfillitbygiving
peoplecompliments,bydoingthingsforotherpeople.That’show
youfillotherpeople’sbuckets.
Jonathan: Ilovethat.
Pat: Youcantakethingsawayandhavethemnothaveanything
anymorebybeingmeantothem,disrespectful,notdoingthings
forthem,thatsortofthing.It’sreallyinterestingthatevenatakid’s
levelthey’reunderstandingthesebuckets.Ifhecaninthissense,
weabsolutelycanwiththese3bucketsthatyou’retalkingabout.
Weonlyhavealittlebitmoretime,soIjustwanttocoversomeof
thebiggerideasandthingsthataremaybemoreactionablethat
peoplecantakeawayfromthisconversation.Obviously,Iwant
everybodytogoandcheckoutthebook.Actually,where’sthelink
wherepeoplecangoandcheckitout,beforewe...?
Jonathan: ItyoujustgotoGoodLifeProject.com/book,that’swhereyoucanall
theinformation.
Pat: Okay,sweet.Thankyou.TherewasonesectioninherethatI
commentedon,becauseit’ssomethingI’vebeentryingtolearn
howtodomore.I’vebeenprettygoodoverthelastcoupleof
years,butIcanstillworkonitandIknowalotofotherpeoplecan
too,andthat’stheideaofsaying,“No.”Canyoutalkaboutwhy
that’ssoimportant?
Jonathan: Yeah,andthisissomethingthatsomanypeoplehavesomuch
troublewith,becausewe’retrainedtobegraciousandtoalways
say,“yes,”becausethat’sthecourteousthingtodo.Theproblemis
thepaceoflifethesedaysandtheeaseofaccessthatpeoplehave
tous,andtheexpectationthatyou’llalwaysbeavailable,hasmade
itsothatrequestsforourtime,forourlove,forourenergy,forour
bandwidth,forourwisdom,havereachedanear-mercilesslevel.
That’sledtoalotofuslivingthesefiercelyreactiveliveswhere,
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insteadofactuallywakingupinthemorning,intentionallychoosing
whatgenuinelymatterstous,andthengivingeverythingthatwe
havetothosethingstomakearealdifference,weendupactually
populatingeverymomentofourdaywiththeminutiaandthetask
listsandtheto-dos,andtheagendasofathousandotherpeople,
whoessentiallypushtheirprioritiesandtheiragendasontoourlives.
Itleavesusfeelingmaniacallybusy,overwhelmed,andgutted,and
alsothatwe’rejustsofarfromourpotential.Theunderlyingreason
isthatwe’renotawareof,butalsobecausewe’veneveractually
learnedtosay“No.”We’vegottentoaplacewherewe’rejustlike,
“yes,yes,yes,yes,”andthenwehavenotimetoactuallydothe
stuffthatgenuinelymatterstous.
I’mahugebelieverinactuallypracticingtheartofsaying“No.”
Literally,beforeyousay“yes,”toanything,beforeyouletanybody
elseknowthatyou’reavailabletothem,askaquestion.Say,“Does
thisgenuinelymatter?Doesitmakeadifferenceinsomethingthat’s
deeplyimportanttome?”Iftheanswerisnow,thentheanswerto
thepersonwho’srequestingshouldbe“no,”aswell,andthat’swhat
givesustheability,thespace,todowhatreallymatters.
Pat: Ithinkalotofusareworriedaboutlettingotherpeopledown,
though.Howdowegetoverthat?
Jonathan: Practice.It’salmostlikeexposuretherapy.It’ssortoflikethemore
youdoit,themoreyoustarttorealizethatpeople…It’sreally
fascinatingtome.I’msure,likeyou,Igetrequestsallday,everyday,
forallsortsofthings,andIliterallyhaveabunchofdifferentways
thatIsay“No.”I’vereallytriedtothinkabouthowIwouldsaynoin
themostcourteousway,whereit’srespectfulandnotoffensive.
I’vehadanumberofpeoplereplytomeandsay,“Youknow,I
wasreallybummedthatyousaid‘no,’butIactuallycompletely
understandit,andIactuallyrespectyouforsaying‘no,’and
explainingthat,‘I’mactuallysayingnosothatIcanmakeroomto
reallyfocusonthethingsthataredeeplymeaningfultome,’and
you’resettingagreatexampleforme;so,thankyouforthat,and
Show NoteS: http://www.smartpassiveincome.com/session236
14
I’mgoingtostarttodothesamething.”It’salmostthiswaytoteach
withoutteaching.
Pat: Right,soyou’renotnecessarilyjustsaying,“No.”You’realso
explainingyourselfandbeinghonestatthesametime?
Jonathan: Yeah,exactly.
Pat: Thenhowdoyouprioritize?Obviously,wehavetosayyestosome
things,buthowdoweknowwhattosayyesto,versuswhattosay
noto?Doyouhaveanyspecialwaysthatyouprioritize?Obviously,
there’salotofbooksoutthereonhowtodothat,Essentialism,and
TheOneThing.What’syourtechnique?
Jonathan: I’mactuallyahugefanofEssentialismandTheOneThing.Ilove
bothofthosebooks.Ithinkthey’rereallypowerful,soratherthan
duplicatingwhattheysay,letmegoonelayerofftotheside.I
thinkthere’safoundationquestionthatwe’renotdealingwith
whenwe’retalkingaboutprioritizationandproductivity,andthat’s
awareness.Howcanyouchoosetheonethingthatmatters?How
canyouactuallyunderstandwhattosayyesornoto,untilyou
actuallydoalittlebitofworktounderstandyourself?
Weliveinavacuumofself-knowledge.There’salevelofself-
ignorancethatsomanyofustendtowalkaroundwith,where
wedon’tactuallyunderstandwhat’simportanttous.Wedon’t
understandwhatmatters.Wedon’tunderstandwhatourstrengths
andourgiftsare,orourvaluesorbeliefsare,andthatmakesit
nearlyimpossibleforustounderstandwhattosayyesornoto,
becausewithoutreallyknowingourselves,wedon’thaveabasis
toprioritize.
Ithinkit’sreallyimportanttoadoptasystemlikeEssentialismor
TheOneThing,orwhateverothersystemjustworkswiththeway
thatyoulookattheworldandthewaythatyourbrainfunctions.
Onadeeperlevel,Ithinkthebiggerchallenge,andthemuchmore
effectiveunblockkeyisgoingtoactuallybetospendabitoftime
inself-discovery,andjustreallystartingoutbytryingtoaskyourself
Show NoteS: http://www.smartpassiveincome.com/session236
15
thebigquestion,“What’simportanttome?”
Ifyouliterallysitdownandaskyourselfthequestion,“What’s
importanttome,”andthenjuststarttofreewriteandseewhat
comesup,that’sthestuffthatallowsyoutoprioritize.Ithinkifyou
don’tdothatandthenyoutryandapplysomesortofsurface-
levelmethodology,you’llgetefficientandproductive,butitwon’t
necessarilyleadtofulfillmentandmeaning.
Pat: Ithinkalotofpeople,theyoftenassumetheyknowwhythey’re
doingwhatthey’redoing,orwhattheirprioritiesare,andthey
almostkidthemselvessometimes.Howcanwehelpourselvesifwe
don’twantto?
Jonathan: Yeah.
Pat: Iknowit’saloadedquestion.
Jonathan: Itisareallyloadedquestion.Truecircumstanceisalmostlikeyou
can’thelpsomeoneuntilthey’rereadytobehelped,butIalsothink
thatcommunity,havingpeopleinyourlifethataregenuinemirrors,
whoyouknowaretherefortherightreasons.They’rethere.They’ll
behonestwithyou.They’llsupportyou,andthey’llalsoprovide
accountabilitytoyou,notbecausetheywanttocutyoudown,but
becausetheywanttoseeyourise.They’llbehonestbecausethey
wanttoseeyouflourish.Ithinkhavingthatonepersonorsmall
communityofpeoplecanbereallymission-criticalinhelpingus
coursecorrect.IknowIhavethosepeopleinmylife.Iknowyou
havethose.
Pat: Yeah,Ihave.
Jonathan: Youprobablyhaveacoupleofpeopleandgroupsinyourlifeas
well.Ithinkthosehavebeensoinstrumentaltomeinunderstanding
howto,especiallyhowtofillmycontributionbucket.Interestingly,
I’llhaveasmallbusinessmastermindoragroupoffriends,and
ostensiblyit’sabouthowwe’recontributingtotheworld,butit
alwaysgetspersonalbecause,underneaththat,ifsomething’snot
workingright,it’salwayspersonal,andsowegothere.
Show NoteS: http://www.smartpassiveincome.com/session236
16
Pat: Tofinishitoff,Jonathan,youhadmentionedearlierabouthowjust
fastlifeisgoingrightnow,andinstantaneousthingsarehappening.
Youwroteachapter,ortalkedalittlebitaboutlivingintheslow
lane,whichistheoppositetakeofwhatmostpeoplesay.We
alwayssay,“Let’sliveinthefastlane,”becausethat’sthequickest
routetowhereverwewanttogo,andtheslowlaneistypically
wherepeopledon’twanttobe.Whydoyoumentionweshould
travelintheslowlanesometimes?
Jonathan: Ithinkwhathappensiswearesorunbypaceandbyspeed,and
bytryingtogettotheoutcomethatitdoes2things.Oneisit
completelyobliteratestheexperienceofjoyalongtheway.Itkind
ofjustcrushesusandtheninevitablywhathappensis,evenifwe
gettotheoutcome,werealizethatit’snottheoutcomethatwe
thoughtitwouldbe.It’snotmakingusfeelthewaywethoughtit
wouldfeel,andsonowwe’venowguttedourselftogetthere,and
nowwe’rethere,andit’snotgivinguswhatweneeded.
Atthesametime,whatI’veexperiencediswhenyoumovesuper,
superfast,yourrateoferrorincreasesdramatically.Somuchofthe
reasonthatweendupbeingsobusyisnotbecausewehavetobe
thatbusy,it’sbecausewe’removingsoquicklythattheerrorrate
ismakingushavetoredo,havetogobackandfixandcorrect.I’ve
runsomeexperimentsandI’vefoundthatactuallyI’masproductive,
ifnotmoreproductive,dialingitback,dialingeverythingIdoback,
andmovingmoreslowlythanIamwhenI’mmovinghyper-fast,
becauseitremovessomuchoftheerrorfromtheprocessthatI
actuallyendupinthesameplaceifnotalotbetterworkingmuch
moregentlyandhavingjustsomuchjoyalongtheway.
Pat: Yeah,Ithinkthatjoypartalongtheway,youoftenmovesofast
youmisshowamazingtheclimbissometimes,becauseyou’rejust
tryingtogettothetopsofast.
Jonathan: Especiallyforentrepreneurs,it’sahugephenomenon.Wejustwant
togetthere,neverrealizingthattheonly“there,there,”ishonestly,
“here,now.”
Pat: Howdoyouslowdown?
Show NoteS: http://www.smartpassiveincome.com/session236
17
Jonathan: Forme,I’mconstantlycheckingin.Ithinkformethere’sareallybig
overridingthing,whichisthatIhaveadailymindfulnesspractice
thatstartseverysingleday.
Pat: Iknowyoumeditate,right?
Jonathan: Yeah,Ido.Iwakeupeverymorning.It’sthefirstthingthatIdo.
Actually,it’snotthefirstthingthatIdo.ThefirstthingIdoisgrind
mycoffeebeansandturnonthecoffeemaker,andthenImeditate
whilethecoffeeisbrewing.Notonlydoesitsetthetoneforthe
entireday,butalso,overtime,itcultivatestheabilitytojustbeable
tokindofzoomthelensoutandnoticewhenyou’rereallyjust
doingstupidstuff,whenyou’rejustfritteringawayallofyourtime
onstuffthatdoesn’tmatter.
Iknowyouhaveapracticealso.DoyoustillusetheMUSE?Iknow
you...
Pat: Ido,Ido.IneeditandIloveitbecauseoftheimmediatefeedback
andthetracking.That’swhatmotivatesme,personally.
Jonathan: Yeah,anddoyoufinditmakesarealdifferenceforyouaswell?
Pat: Oh,yeah.Oh,absolutely.Insomanyareasofmylife,likeyousaid,
ithelpedmefocusoncertainthings,butalsowhenIgetdistracted
orwhenIgetoutoffocus,orIrealizeI’mdoingsomethingI’mnot
supposedto,IrealizethatsoonerandIcanmorequicklygetback
ontherighttrack.That’sthebiggestdifferenceI’vefoundwithmy
meditationpractice.
Jonathan: Yeah,Itotallyagree.I’veseenthat.Italmostcaughtmebysurprise
whenIstartednoticingthatthatwashappening.Iwaslike,“Wow,
thatis,”it’sareallypowerfulbenefit.
Pat: Yeah.Loveit.Jonathan,Ifeelwecouldtalkforhours,butIguess
everybodywilljusthavetopickupyourbookandcheckitout.
Wherecantheyfindyouandyourbook?
Jonathan: GoodLifeProject.com/bookiswherethebookisat,and,ofcourse,
Show NoteS: http://www.smartpassiveincome.com/session236
18
it’salsojustavailableatresellerseverywhere.
Pat: Awesome.Thanks,Jonathan.Weappreciateyou.It’sbeensucha
pleasuretotalktoyouhereontheshow.LikeIsaid,I’velookedup
toyouforsolong,andit’sjustreallycoolthatyou’reherewithus
andsharingsomeofyourwisdomtoday.Thankyou.
Jonathan: Yeah,it’smypleasure.Thankssomuchforinvitingme,Pat.
Pat: Allright,IhopeyouenjoyedthatinterviewwithJonathanFields.If
youwanttogethisbookandcheckitout,gotoGoodLifeProject.
com/book,andofcourseyoucangetallthelinksandtheresources
mentionedinthisepisodeatSmartPassiveIncome.com/session236.
IactuallyhadthepleasureofhavingdinnerwithJonathannot
toolongagoatPodcastMovement,inChicago.Itwashimand
AndrewWarner,andJohnLeeDumas,andmyself,andIgotto
meetJonathan’swife.Shewasamazing,anditwasjustsuchacool
atmospheretobeinthatrestaurantwithsomebodywhoIhadbeen
lookinguptoforsolong,andjust,honestly,hands-down,oneofthe
mostgenuine,heartfeltguysIknow.
Jonathan,thankyouagainforbeingontheshow.Goodluckwith
thebookandthelaunchandeverything,andI’llbesuretodowhat
Icankeepmybucketsasfullaspossible,andtokeepeveryone
else’sbucketsasfullaspossiblewho’slisteningtotheshow.Ithink
that’sagreatanalogy.It’ssomethingthatIwouldwanttopassonto
mykidsforsure,sothankyouforthat,Jonathan.
NowIwanttotakeaquickmomenttothanktoday’ssponsor,which
is99Designs.com.Ifyouneedanydesignworkdownforyour
business…Ifyou’redoingbusinessonline,youlikelyneedsome
sortofdesign,andyoucan’tdesignthatonedesignerthatyou
canworkwithforfull-timeorevenpart-time,ifyou’rejustdoinga
one-offproject,forexample,Iwouldhighlyrecommendchecking
out99Designs.com.Notonlyisitaquickturnaround,youcan
getadesigndonein7days,butit’sreallycoolbecauseyouget
designersfromallaroundtheworldsortofpitchinginwiththeir
versionofyourdesign.Yougettopicktheonethatyoulikebest
Show NoteS: http://www.smartpassiveincome.com/session236
19
andwalkhomewiththatone.It’sreallycool.
Ifyoudon’tlikeanyofthedesignsthatgetsubmittedinthisdesign
contestthatyou’reholdinghere,forwhateveritisthatyou’relooking
for…Itcouldbeanythingfromalogotoabookcover.I’veusedit
myselfformyson’ssoccerteam.I’veuseditfore-bookcovers,all
sortsofthings,anything,really.Afterthedesigncontestisover,if
youdon’tlikewhatyousee,yougetyourmoneyback.It’ssuper-
cool.Iactuallyjustrecentlydidadesigncontestforaninfographic
thatworkedoutreallywell,andit’sactuallydrivinginalotoftraffic
forsomeoldpoststhatIhadrepurposedintoaninfographic.
Ifyouwanttocheckitout,goto99Designs.com/SPI,andifyougo
throughthatlinkyou’llget$99thatyoucanputtowardyournext
designprojectforfree,whichisreallycool,so,99Designs.com/SPI.
Allright,thankssomuch.IappreciateyouandIlookforwardto
servingyouinnextweek’sepisode.Untilthen,keeppushingit
forward.Keepfillingthosebuckets,andI’llseeyounextweek.Bye,
guys.
Announcer: ThanksforlisteningtotheSmartPassiveIncomePodcastatwww.
SmartPassiveIncome.com.
Show NoteS: http://www.smartpassiveincome.com/session236
20
ReSouRceS: GoodLifeProject.com
HowtoLiveaGoodLife
TheFiveMinuteJournal
Essentialism
TheOneThing
Muse
SpoNSoRS: 99Designs.com
http://www.smartpassiveincome.com/