SOON 55

By Caitlyn Lehmann, SOON Editor, St Luke’s Innovative Resources

St Luke’s Innovative Resources

137 McCrae Street Bendigo

Victoria 3550 Australia

Ph: (03) 5442 0500 Fax: (03) 5442 0555

international (+61 3)

email: [email protected]

Website: www.innovativeresources.org

Longing for Belonging

Theme of this issue:

Belonging

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www.innovativeresources.org

s e r i o u s ly o p t i m i s t i c o n l i n e n e w s l e t t e r

P u b l I s h e r s o f s t r e n g t h s - b a s e d r e s o u r c e s

In this issue:1 Longing for Belonging3 In the Spotlight: Staying Stronger Longer in Arnhem Land 5 Dots of Belonging5 Workshops and Conferences6 Resources Bank7 Coming Soon From Innovative Resources Choosing Strengths

To contribute to this newsletter email us: [email protected]

Continued page 2…

The need to belong is one of the most powerful desires we experience in life. It defines us as a social animal, yet we struggle with it continually. We seek belonging for our children, we offer it to our loved ones, we need to belong for our survival. But there are also times when we reject the prospect of belonging altogether, especially if it means being part of groups or communities with whom we have differences of opinion.

Most of us, one way or another, are fortunate to enjoy a robust sense of belonging on a number of different levels. We gain feelings of belonging from positive relationships with family, friends and colleagues, and from confidence of our acceptance within the wider community. Belonging comes, too, from our connectedness to the landscape, whether it be open country or the local urban environment.

When we move house, change workplaces or even decide to live in another country, the need to belong is often at the heart of the anxieties we experience. At these moments we are beset by questions: Will I fit in? Will I get to grips with established routines and rules? Will others come to my aid if I need help? Will I feel that I can be myself?

So what does this word ‘belonging’ actually mean? It is, as one of my colleagues declared, ‘an unfathomable notion’. Belonging is both voluntary and involuntary. It relates to a range of other sensations and emotions: the feeling of being welcome, of being safe to express oneself openly. Inevitably, it also comes with conditional freedoms and is rarely free from conditions.

Yet, elusive and unfathomable though belonging may be, it is also true that a sense of belonging is more elusive for some groups in our society than others. Families facing social and financial disadvantages can struggle to participate in regular community activities or to afford the clothes, medical treatment and goods needed to ‘fit in’ with other social groups. The sense of not belonging, whether due to discrimination or disadvantage, can have a lasting impact on a person’s identity and outlook on life.

Belonging is both voluntary and involuntary. It relates to a range of other sensations and emotions: the feeling of being welcome, of being safe to express oneself openly.

I belong to a gospel choir. they know I am an atheist but they are very tolerant. Brian Eno

Russell’s BlogLate last year, independent publishers digested news about the merger of Penguin Books and Random House, set to create the biggest publisher in the world: Penguin Random House.The news prompted reactions of teeth-gnashing and despair as well as glee and optimism. When our creative director, Russell Deal, penned his latest blog in response to the news, he also generated a fair bit of debate right here at Innovative Resources.

‘In the world of publishing, Innovative Resources is the equivalent of The Duchy of Grand Fenwick, the miniscule-sized European country that decided to invade the US—and accidentally won! Today it looks like small publishers and bookshops alike are being crushed by the steamrollers of online retailing and mergers of gargantuan publishers. Where does this leave the Grand Fenwicks of the publishing world such as Innovative Resources?’

Hit our blog to read the piece that made some of us squirm—including your SOON editor who often buys her books from Amazon!http://blog.innovativeresources.org

From previous page…

Our feelings about belonging are also complicated by how we visualise the concept. You might imagine concentric rings of belonging—one group is part of a larger group, which is part of a larger group and so on. Or it may be the inherent exclusivity of belonging that strikes you—to belong to one group necessarily implies the exclusion of those who do not belong. Even such a grand statement as ‘we all belong to the human race’ means leaving my dog out of the party, even though she reckons she’s at least half human!

For many people, the need to belong is very strong indeed. When their belonging is challenged or disrupted, the experience is akin to a trauma. Equally, there are others—introverted people, in particular—who regard belonging as comparatively unimportant. Some of our greatest artists and thinkers have identified as ‘outsiders’, sometimes by choice, but also as a result of rejection by their wider communities. Their experiences illuminate the shadow side of belonging–the rules and constraints that people inevitable create in the process of forming a collective identity.

Here at Innovative Resources, we recognise both the benefits and challenges that belonging poses. Our books and card sets aim to foster people’s belonging in ways that strengthen individual wellbeing and community cohesion.

At the same time, we have card sets like Name the Frame and Change by Design that challenge the prejudices and constraints which teams, groups and organisations tend, unwittingly, to impose on others.

In this issue of SOON, we’re featuring stories that reflect ways in which people are using our resources to encourage belonging. In the Northern Territory, Ros Kempton and her colleagues recently facilitated workshops for people affected by Machado Joseph Disease. It is our privilege to include Ros’s story in SOON and we thank the indigenous women involved and the MJD Foundation for allowing us to reproduce photos from the event.

From the other end of the country, blown from across Bass Strait, comes the winning entry for last issue’s SOON Giveaway. And from the office down the hallway comes Georgena Stukenschmidt’s story about fostering belonging within her local parish.

So happy end-of-summer reading to everyone! Don’t forget to send in your entries for the next SOON Giveaway—details are on page 7 with information about our newest resource, Choosing Strengths. Perfect for helping young people reflect on their strengths and attitudes, Choosing Strengths is a cheeky and versatile tool for celebrating individuality and the special qualities that help us all to belong.

We have a winner!

‘I recently purchased The Bears from St Luke’s Innovative Resources to use as part of a Sibling Support Workshop. The workshop was designed to provided support and strategies for siblings (aged 8 to 12) who have a brother or sister with a disability, chronic illness or other medical conditions. Two other graduate rehabilitation counselling students and myself ran the workshop through the University of Tasmania. I used The Bears to help the children discuss their feelings and realise they were not alone. I believe this activity helped to normalise the children’s feelings and experiences, and to achieve a sense of belonging within the group. Our first workshop was a huge success with the kids and their parents. Many parents have reported that their children are much

more open with their feelings, experiences and questions about their place in the family. In this way, I hope we have also helped the children to think about what belonging to a family with a disabled or ill sibling means to them.I believe The Bear cards firmly belong in my toolkit and I will use them without hesitation in my new career as a case manager for disadvantaged children and families. I also hope to continue using these cards to help siblings of brother or sisters with a disability or illness achieve a sense of belonging in the group, their families and the wider community.’

Well done, Jessica! A complimentary set of The Kangas is on its way to you!

We had a number of entries in response to last issue’s SOON Giveaway. Readers were invited to share their experiences of ‘belonging’ and using Innovative Resources’ tools. Jessica Flakemore, a graduate counselling student in Tassie, sent this terrific account of using Innovative Resources’ The Bears in a workshop for children:

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In theSpotlight

You cannot belong to anyone else, until you belong to yourself. Pearl Bailey

Machado Joseph Disease (MJD) is a debilitating neuro-degenerative condition with no known cure. It is an inherited, autosomal dominant disorder, which means that the children of a person with the defective gene have a 50% chance of developing the disease. Most people are wheelchair bound and fully dependent for all activities of daily living within 10-15 years of the symptoms emerging. While the disease affects nerves and muscles, it does not affect cognitive function and people with MJD remain intellectually alert. Previously known as ‘Groote Eylandt Syndrome’, the effects of MJD have been known to Aboriginal people in North East Arnhem Land for at least four generations. Although MJD occurs throughout the world, the population prevalence in NE Arnhem Land is the highest in the world. The MJD Foundation (MJDF) was formed in 2008 with the aim of providing better quality of life for indigenous Australians and their families living with the illness. The activities of the Foundation focus on five key areas: research, education, equipment, advocacy and services. Education Project Manager, Ros Kempton, has been making use of Innovative Resources’ tools for a number of years.

She has used them in workshops for carers in Darwin and with MJD-affected communities. In her work for the MJDF, Ros has also used several card sets in staff professional development sessions. She has found them ideal for stimulating vibrant discussion and sharing, and reinforcing strengths-based, solution focused messages in her work.

In October 2012, the Foundation convened a Women’s Camp on Groote Eylandt for women living with MJD or caring for family members with MJD. Taking part, too, were professional female care staff and medical researchers studying the disorder. Through collaboration, talking and listening, the camp provided the women with an opportunity to learn from each other and build their sense of belonging, empathy and active support. Some sessions offered during the Camp provided the chance to learn new information about recent research developments. Other sessions aimed to building positive conversations, identify personal and collective strengths, and identify priorities for the MJDF in 2013 and beyond.

By Ros Kempton Education Project Manager, The MJD Foundation

Staying Stronger Longer in

Arnhem Land

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Through collaboration, talking and listening, the camp provided the women with an opportunity to learn from each other and build their sense of belonging, empathy and active support.

by building relations we create a source of love and personal pride and belonging that makes living in a chaotic world easier.

Susan Lieberman

Many of the conversations were by no means simple or easy: they were personal, poignant and deeply felt. There were tears and moments of sadness that people felt safe to sit with while building their sense of belonging and being supported. MJD is not a cheery experience or casual topic of conversation. There has been a history of ‘shame and blame’ associated with the disorder. Only now are people beginning to feel there is hope. Using a range of Innovative Resources’ card sets, workers involved in the Women’s Camp were able to open up a range of issues for sharing and acknowledgement, and identify strengths people could draw on. Some of the cards were also used to help those involved articulate a vision for what we need to focus on next year and beyond. Workshop sessions were fairly informal and flexible to accommodate various needs and the presence of quite a few children.A Patchwork Life was one of the card sets we used to open the workshops and get a sense of what people were hoping would happen during the Women’s Camp. These beautiful cards enabled people to start the business of the gathering with some very moving comments on what it means to live with MJD and what they hoped the Women’s Camp would achieve. The Patchwork Life cards encouraged acknowledgement of both sad and happy feelings relating to MJD. To have that first conversation acknowledge the darkness and the light provided a powerful start to three days of sharing, story-telling, generating ideas and visions.

In a later session, family carers used A Patchwork Life and the Symbols cards to talk about the rewards and challenges of caring for a family member and how the MJDF might do more to support carers. Eventually, when we summed up discussions on the third day of the Camp, we returned to the Patchwork Life cards chosen on Day One to reflect on the qualities, strengths and sense of optimism they conveyed.For our discussion about Foundation’s priorities in the future we used the Cars‘R’Us cards. Small groups used the cards to describe how the ‘MJDF Vehicle’ was travelling, where it was going, and what resources it needed to complete the journey ahead. Plenty of the cards show cars that suit the NE Arnhem Land landscape with its rough roads and isolated communities surrounded by the sea. People up there are very familiar with the resources needed to keep a vehicle on the road for personal, family and community access. They have plenty of stories of mishaps and risky situations on the roads and beaches a long way from mechanical help!The car metaphor worked well because people know what it means to be resourceful and creative, and get on with things after a journey has gone pear-shaped! Max, the character on the cards, provided a useful perspective to help us consider the MJDF journey from within the car and from outside looking on. He also enabled people to have a chuckle about the challenges encountered on rocky roads or in sticky situations!

On the last day of the Camp, we wrapped up by refocusing on personal experiences, asking each participant to take a Symbols card and say how they felt at the end of the three days. They were also asked to describe how the camp experience had influenced their vision for the next steps to be taken in 2013 and beyond. Having held a Men’s Camp in 2011 and this Women’s Camp in 2012, a key wish was for a Family Camp next time.Hope has been steadily spreading with the Foundation’s efforts to effect change and enhance people’s quality of life in some of our most remote communities. Families living with MJD often use the words ‘sad’ to describe how they feel about the disease and ‘happy’ to describe how they feel about being able to care for family member, to get help to provide the care that people need and to know that research is progressing steadily to better understand the disease.Thank you to Innovative Resources for your array of tool enabling people to explore themselves and discover new depths and new commitments. The rich discussions held during the Women’s Camp will be used to inform the Foundation’s staff and Board planning in 2013 and help us work towards our motto, ‘Staying Stronger Longer’.

For more information about the MJD Foundation, visit www.mjd.org.au

That sense of hope has been spreading with the Foundation’s efforts to effect change and enhance people’s quality of life in some of our most remote communities.

From previous page…

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everyone wants to belong, or be a part of something bigger than themselves, but it’s important to follow your heart and be true to yourself in the process.

Emily Giffin5

Dots of BelongingNAIDOC Week is held across Australia every July to celebrate the history, culture and achievements of indigenous Australians. Georgena Stuckenschmidt, managing director at Innovative Resources, shares her reflections on belonging, prompted by last year’s NAIDOC Week festivities.

What does it mean to belong? This was the question we contemplated with young people at St Paul’s Cathedral, Bendigo, a few weeks after NAIDOC Week in 2012. Conscious that NAIDOC festivities had recently passed—largely unobserved by the parish—we felt it was timely to hold our own informal celebration of aboriginal culture. We decided to hold a special evening of reflection on indigenous traditions and, in preparation, we visited the NAIDOC website to find out what activities we might incorporate into the event. One of the creative ideas we tried was to make an aboriginal painting, depicting the campfire or meeting place (our parish) with ‘u’ shapes (our people) gathered around. We also painted rivers representing the Loddon, Campaspe and Murray Rivers that run through our diocese. On the night, we each added our own fingerprint (a dot) to symbolise our belonging to the parish. Later in the evening, we talked about the different places and communities to which we belong, including our families, schools, sports clubs and, of course, the parish. To get the discussion rolling, we used Innovative Resources’ indigenous card set, Talking Up Our Strengths, as a conversational prompt.The following day, we took the painting to the Sunday Service, and members of the congregation were invited to dip their finger into the paint and add their own dot to the painting. There was a particularly touching moment when one of our local Karen members translated the meaning of the painting to other members of the Karen refugee community. They, too, added their own fingerprint dots to the painting, reinforcing its significance as poignant symbol of togetherness and belonging for the diverse cultural groups who are part of our parish.

Expert on compulsive hoarding, Dr Chris Mogan, recently visited Bendigo to lead a one-day workshop on compulsive hoarding. The event was attended by human service workers from a range of disciplines including mental health, housing and aged care—and Innovative Resources was there too!If you’re looking for a way to add energy, light and colour to your seminar or conference, why not get in touch with us? Innovative Resources is available to arrange displays of our publications. We’re even available to M/C events and assist with crowd control!

For more information about our displays and training events, visit our Workshops page or simply contact our training coordinator via [email protected].

Understandably, some people were a little anxious about contributing to what might have been percieved as a faux aboriginal painting and preferred not to participate as a mark of their own respect for indigenous culture. Sometime after these events, I had the opportunity to chat to one of our region’s local aboriginal elders, and I was interested to ask her opinion about our actions. There are many different views about the best ways for people from non-aboriginal backgrounds to celebrate indigenous traditions, but she was very pleased and said it was a beautiful thing for us to do.More recently, I spoke with a general manager at St Luke’s Anglicare, who works to build partnerships with aboriginal organisations and support the care of indigenous young people. He reflected that when other cultures have come to Australia we have, by and large, welcomed their contributions and made them part of our cultural diversity. We love our Chinese food and Italian restaurants, but what, he asked, have we incorporated into our culture from our Aboriginal communities? He saw our painting as a way of embracing Australia’s indigenous heritage and was moved by its symbolism.When it comes to expressing respect for another culture, it’s sometimes difficult to judge how appropriate it is to deliberately borrow or emulate the practices of a particular tradition. But on this occasion, our dot painting and use of Talking Up Our Strengths provided an important opportunity for learning and appreciation for all involved. Next time NAIDOC week comes round, I hope we’ll be in the cathedral with our region’s Aboriginal elders. Perhaps we’ll work on a new picture together, placing our dots side-by-side to representing everyone’s belonging.

Training and

For more information, go to http://www.naidoc.org.au/about/

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Many of the games children play foster a sense of competition and aggression. Even a simple game like Musical Chairs can lapse into a combative romp of push and shove! Although the initial impulse to play a game is social, much of our effort often goes into outwitting, sabotaging or simply destroying each other. We soon learn how to pick out other people’s weaknesses in order to win. So celebrate the spirit of cooperation with Family Pastimes! Their colourful games, catering for players of every age group, provide challenges that depend on participants working together to succeed.

Help each other climb a mountain, make a community, bring in the harvest, complete a space exploration. In a co-operative game, younger children can enjoy playing with older and bigger kids—and not worry about being wiped out! In the classroom environment, a cooperative game removes the ammunition for losers to be bullied or winners to be cut down.Parents and teachers: encourage children to share, use their imaginations, be kind to living things, work with—not against—the forces of nature, and support each other’s efforts. Take advantage of our 30% discount on all Family Pastimes games this month. And get ready for lots of friendly fun!

ResourcesBank

7If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. Mother Teresa

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Coming Soon From Innovative Resources Choosing Strengths

Innovative resources is a not-for-profit publisher and bookseller; all sales support the child, youth, family and community services provided by st luke’s anglicare.

Choosing Strengths CAT NO: 2400 ISBN: 1 920945 68 7Each set has: 36 laminated full-colour cards; 200 x 120mm; 36-page booklet of suggestions for use; packaged in a polypropylene box

AU$49.50 each (includes GST)

Choosing Strengths is a set of 36 cards (with a booklet of suggested uses) developed in the rich tradition of CHOICE THEORY and STRENGTHS-BASED PRACTICE. Each stunningly designed, full-colour card features the phrase ‘I can choose to be…’ and then identifies a strength that anyone can choose to practise and make their own. While we cannot necessarily control what happens, we can always make choices about how we will respond. We can choose to see ourselves as a victim or a survivor. We can choose to focus on deficits and problems… or strengths and hopeful possibilities.Developing the ability to make conscious choices is a central part of growing to our full potential as human beings. It is a key component of emotional and mental wellbeing. It is at the heart of change-oriented conversations and self-esteem building with children, young people and adults alike.

Choosing Strengths can be used in:• family and youth work • schools and organisations • pastoral care and personal development

• counselling, therapy and social work • coaching, mentoring and supervision • storytelling and creative writing

Who will you choose to be? What qualities will you choose to have? What strengths will you choose to exercise?

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Win a copy of Choosing Strengths!To celebrate the release of our newest card set, we’re giving away one copy of Choosing Strengths to a lucky reader. To enter our SOON competition, simply tell us in 100-200 words how you could use Choosing Strengths in your work. Email your entry to [email protected] with the subject heading ‘SOON Giveaway’. Entries close Friday 8 March 2013, and the winner will be announced in the next issue of SOON. Teachers, youth workers, counsellors and school chaplains: here’s your chance to win a colourful new card set for your toolkit!