SOON 50

www.innovativeresources.org

St Luke’s Innovative Resources

137 McCrae Street Bendigo

Victoria 3550 Australia

Ph: (03) 5442 0500 Fax: (03) 5442 0555

international (+61 3)

email: [email protected]

Website: www.innovativeresources.org

I s s u e 5 0 m ay 2 012

s e r i o u s ly o p t i m i s t i c o n l i n e n e w s l e t t e r

P u b l I s h e r s o f s t r e n g t h s - b a s e d r e s o u r c e s

St Luke’s Innovative Resources is about to reach another milestone; we are about to turn twenty.It was in 1992 that St Luke’s stumbled into the world of publishing by producing a humble set of gently humorous cards called simply Strength Cards. The aim of these cards was to help our clients identify, mobilise and celebrate their strengths.Twenty years on we still publish Strength Cards. Over the intervening years we have added to our array of conversation-building publications and we now have over 60 books and card sets in our catalogue of original publications.It has been quite an amazing journey, one that we never envisaged when we first sat

down with the dictionary to see what words we could find to describe people’s strengths. Like any business, we have had our ups and downs—our successes, blunders, false starts, disappointments and triumphs. We have survived the global economic downturn, staff turnover, the arrival of the GST, the advent of Amazon and the digital revolution without any reliance on government or philanthropic funding—and we have generated significant independent income to support St Luke’s direct services.But what is around the corner?On the one hand there are plenty of prophets of doom and gloom for the publishing and bookselling industries. There is the spectre of climate change and a growing awareness of our environmental fragility. Will we still have Strength Cards in another 20 years? Will Innovative Resources even exist in 2032?Wondering about what is around the corner does not inevitably lead to pessimism and a glass-half-empty world view. It can provide the radiance we all need to keep going and the motivation to keep hope alive.

‘There is one thing which gives radiance to everything. It is the idea of something around the corner.’G.K.Chesterton

Continued page 2…

Theme of this issue:

Mothering

Something around the cornerBy Russell Deal Creative Director, St Luke’s Innovative Resources

In this issue:1 Something Around the Corner 2 In the Spotlight: Sue Gore Phillips—Parenting a Child with Asperger Syndrome4 Resources Bank Mothering: Tools for the Journey5 From Our Bookshop6 Book Review6 Hot Specials7 Coming Soon from Innovative Resources: A Patchwork Life7 Workshops & Conferences To contribute to this newsletter email us:[email protected]

‘Being a mother is all I ever wanted to be and I will freely admit that after welcoming two perfect little girls, my little boy was a challenge. There are days when I wish it didn’t have to be so difficult; that I didn’t have to explain why he cannot wear long trousers, a long-sleeved T-shirt and jumper or fleecy pajamas in the middle of a burning hot summer; that I could add chilli or even pepper to our meals; that he would sleep; that he would stop using his hands to test the temperature and texture of each bite of his meal, and that I didn’t have to keep chocolate pudding in the house AT ALL TIMES. That he could just be ‘normal’ (neurotypical) for a little while…‘But I understand that to lose all of these annoying traits I would also lose so much more – his attempts at humour, his creativity, his focus and, possibly most of all, that I still have a child who needs me and believes that my hugs ARE the

thing that can keep him safe (OK, OK. I know that the physical pressure actually helps him gain control but leave a mother something, willya?)’

* * * Sue’s kids are your usual collection of personalities, with unique interests and, of course, challenges. Perhaps the greatest of these is that her seven-year-old son has been diagnosed as having Asperger Syndrome, which is part of the Autism Spectrum and, amongst other things, affects a child’s ability to cope with everyday social situations. Sue’s son is very high functioning—this means that on his best days he looks and behaves like most kids…except that he would happily talk your ear off about all things LEGO. Sue’s son’s dyspraxia and fine motor issues (he struggles to hold a pencil for more than a minute), his slow processing times (he can take up to five minutes to

answer a simple question and needs instructions broken down into small bite-sized pieces, with time in between so he can process and perform that step), his confusion regarding metaphors, sensitivity to noise, inability to understand that everyone is not thinking and feeling exactly as he is, and his all-consuming interests (LEGO, LEGO, LEGO) mean that he is often in a state of heightened anxiety.

Sue Gore Phillips moved to Bendigo and joined the Innovative Resources team in March 2012. Prior to this recent change of address Sue lived in Canberra where she worked as the manager of Children and Family Services for UnitingCare Kippax. Happily, several of the programs she oversaw used the resources she now sells so she is already feeling right at home. When not expounding the wonders of strengths-based, solution-focused client work, Sue likes to cook, read, watch movies, listen to music and get involved with theatrical productions. Most of these interests sit on her ‘to-do’ list as being a wife, and a mother to three delightful children, two energetic Spoodles and four chickens, takes up most of her time…not to mention that she hasn’t finished unpacking all those boxes yet!

www.innovativeresources.org2

Not Broken: Parenting a Child with Asperger SyndromeSue Gore Phillips, the newest member of the team at Innovative Resources, is the mother of a seven-year-old boy who has been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. In the following interview Sue shares some of her stories and insights, at the heart of which is her understanding that her son is not ‘broken’; that he simply sees the world differently, that his oddities and rudeness are naked honesty or confusion of social situations.

In theSpotlight

It is the ‘something around the corner’ that really has helped sustain Innovative Resources so far. It is what gets many of us out of bed in the mornings. It is what provides the buzz in our meetings. It is the excitement of seeing a new idea unfold. And it is the intrigue of wondering ‘What else?’This new edition of SOON, our ‘Seriously Optimistic On-line Newsletter’, has been just around the corner for some time. SOON began back in 2004 as a downloadable alternative to our hard copy newsletter. And now, as we re-launch SOON with this 50th issue, we are hoping it will become a significant vehicle for exploring things that may be around many more corners. Every six weeks a new issue of SOON will be available on-line and free to subscribers. Each issue will be built around a theme (this one focuses on mothering), and will celebrate conversation-building ideas and resources, stories, insights, bargains, book reviews, networks and

an array of ideas that you—our readers—imagine might lie just around your corners.Our hope is that SOON will shine with a radiance that evokes your curiosity to go searching around more corners. But to do this we need your help; we want to include stories about your creativity and discoveries.

What are the ideas that challenge and inspire you? What has made a difference to your effectiveness, and brought about change for your clients? What has contributed to your self-care and the culture of your organisation? And what can you imagine might also lie just around the corner for you?

If you have a story you would like us to tell simply email us at: [email protected] or follow our blogs via our website: www.innovativeresources.org.

From previous page…

Continued page 3…

www.innovativeresources.org 3

From previous page…

For Sue’s son this has made school a place of great stress; seemingly inconsequential events can lead to a ‘melt down’—which looks a lot like a tantrum. Living with and parenting a child on the Autism Spectrum is different for every family and Sue has generously agreed to respond to some questions about her role as the mother in her unique family.When was your son diagnosed? My son was diagnosed when he was in his first year at school. We had been experiencing quite a few difficulties with him over the years; he screamed when I had to leave him at a daycare centre and I was always greeted with ‘You came back’ on my return; he would throw the most amazing ‘tantrums’, seemingly over nothing, and during which he didn’t appear to understand us and certainly wasn’t able to communicate. When they were over he would sleep for hours and hours. We had also noticed that he was easily frightened and that when he was upset he wouldn’t look at us. Kindergarten raised a whole new bunch of issues because he was unwilling to join in group activities—even eating lunch with the other kids—and becoming dreadfully upset when the teacher insisted on his participation. By the time he was in the third week of school, after he spent an entire day under one of the classroom tables, his teacher mentioned that we might consider having a diagnosis done to establish what was going on for him. How did you feel about the diagnosis?To be honest I didn’t understand it to start with—which is odd as I had worked for a year as a teacher’s aide in a unit for kids with Autism Spectrum Disorder. I focused almost completely on our son’s auditory processing and dyspraxia diagnosis as these issues explained so much of his behaviour. It was several weeks before I focussed on the summary of the report to find that the psychologist felt our son was registering on most tests as having Asperger Syndrome.Then there were months of organisation to get him to a pediatrician to have the diagnosis confirmed (in the ACT two independent professionals must agree with the diagnosis before you can access programs and services).

How has your parenting changed?We try to be a lot clearer in our communication. I try to explain things that I feel might be confusing. We try to keep mornings as calm as possible as this goes a long way to setting him up for a good day, and we have schedules for things he has to do—breakfast, brush teeth, get dressed, bag by the door, THEN play.How is parenting your son different from parenting his sisters?In the beginning there were two different versions of parenting going on in our house, but they have now largely morphed together. Basically, we are parenting from the point of view that we will all benefit from clearer communication. My oldest particularly likes that we validate feelings now. This means that she is allowed to say that she is angry with me and why, and I have to hear her out. We have better communication in the house, with people asking how others are feeling or perhaps naming it for them—very helpful for our son as the concept of emotions is confusing.How have your daughters adjusted to having a brother with Asperger Syndrome?Once they understood that he wasn’t ‘broken’, that he simply saw the world differently, that his oddities and rudeness were naked honesty or confusion of social situations they really ‘stepped up’. While there are definitely days where they are upset or frustrated or even embarrassed

by him, they are getting better in how they talk to him, explain things to him, help him and even include him with their friends and activities. We are very proud of them.What do you mean by ‘broken’?At first my girls were unconsciously treating him as if he had a terminal illness or a broken bone. One day my younger daughter said she had heard a news report saying that scientists believe that they may be able to isolate the ‘thing’ that causes autism and thereby ‘cure’ it. She was so excited but I found myself absolutely livid that anyone would believe that my son needed ‘curing’. I remember yelling, ‘He isn’t dying, and he isn’t broken. He doesn’t need to be cured. He is smart. Hell, he is probably smarter than all of us put together! There is nothing to say that his way of thinking isn’t ‘the right way’. The problem is that there are more of US and so he is seen as weird.’She looked at me with these huge wide eyes. I had to pull myself back and explain that her brother was going to have to do a lot of learning to fit in to school and later to a job but that his way of seeing the world was not wrong. It was just different. There was also no reason that he had to do all the changing. Bless her—she got it. And so did her sister.What are some of the key things you have learned from being the mother of a child on the autism spectrum?• I have more patience than I thought I did (but less than I need on some days).• For every question there are lots of explanations—just as there are lots of different people.• Even the obvious needs to be explained sometimes.• Name and validate his feelings; ‘I understand that you are upset right now…’• Be honest with him; ‘I know; that doesn’t make sense, does it? Unfortunately that’s just how most of us do it and if you want to be part of that game/group you are going to have to do it that way.’• Never assume that he ‘gets it’.…and the brilliant phrase that I got from Dr Brenda Smith Myles: ‘When you have seen one child with autism you have seen ONE child with autism.’Weird, isn’t it, how these are applicable to parenting ANY child?

Illustration by Trace Bella for an upcoming card set to be published by Innovative Resources called Angels.

The word ‘mother’ is both a verb (‘to mother’) and a noun (‘a mother’); it is both something you do as well as something you are. This word vibrates with a complicated mix of archetypes, values, clichés, mores, soaring triumphs, crippling guilt and unfathomable love. It’s enough to make your head spin. Enough to send you to the couch for a lie down. Except you can’t. You have to pick up the kids, cook dinner, solve the endless conundrum of the missing sock, and prepare for your paper for the UN delegation. Somewhere along the way, a little help is needed. For many women one of the precious ways in which this comes is in the form of conversation. Conversations with friends, colleagues, partners, professionals—and conversations with your own self through reflection and other activities such as journalling and creative writing. Innovative Resources has created a range of conversation-building tools especially for women. See if any of these spark your imagination for creative, fun, and yes, perhaps even profound conversations.

Everyday GoddessEveryday Goddess is a set of 36 cards created from the paintings of internationally-acclaimed artist, Katharina Rapp. With a decidedly wicked sense of humour, these cards take a look at the roles women play, and offer an opportunity for a fresh take on how we story our everyday lives.

• Using the cards to help create a breakthrough: Think of a current challenge. Pick a card that could represent a way forward for you? What is one small thing can you do today towards this?

Baby StrengthsCaring for a baby or toddler can be fun, surprising, challenging, exhausting…the best and the most difficult thing you have ever done! Bonding or secure attachment between a baby and their mother or primary caregiver is an essential ingredient in every baby’s growth. Baby Strengths is a set of 25 cards for building conversations with mothers, fathers, family workers, and educators about the strengths that underpin the things that babies and toddlers do…including crying, peek-a-boo games and the creative painting of walls with food!

• Can you pick 3 cards that remind you of things your baby does? How are these strengths and why are these behaviours so important?

Inside Out: A journalling KitInside Out is made up of 32 cards and a booklet containing techniques and suggestions for journalling and creative writing. Journalling is a creative, and often powerfully therapeutic way to tell our stories, name our feelings, record family events, and navigate life’s ups and downs.

• Here is an easy way to establish a daily journalling habit: Each day, select a card based on the featured word or image that appeals to you. Use it as a prompt for your daily 10-minute journalling session.

Note to SelfRight questions at the right time are very powerful. They can open up possibilities and remind us of things that are important to us. Note to Self consists of 24 cards with over 70 intriguing questions. Use these for your own reflection and contemplation, or use them with groups and teams, or one-on-one with clients.

• Here is an idea for getting started: Pick 3 cards that represent values or strengths that are important to you or your team. Give an example of how you (or your team) show this strength? How might you develop even more of this strength?

www.innovativeresources.org4

ResourcesBank Mothering: Tools for the

Continued page 5…

JourneyBY KAREN MASMAN

I can be anythingI can

mirror you

Motherhood has a very humanising effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials. Meryl Streep

www.innovativeresources.org 5

From previous page…

Mothers’ Wit and Wisdom By Allison Vale and Alison Rattle$16.95 CAT NO: 9087Buddhism for Mothers By Sarah Napthali$29.95 CAT NO: 8728The Mummy Book By Todd Parr$12.95 CAT NO: 6153My Mum By Anthony Browne$17.95 CAT NO: 6407

Making Memories By Josie Bissett$25.95 CAT NO: 8791A Blessing Not A Curse By Jane Bennett$29.95 CAT NO: 9255Dealing with Mom By Sunscreen$18.95 CAT NO: 8884SomedayBy Alison McGhee$19.99 CAT NO: 6237

My Child has Autism, Now What?Susan Larson Kidd$19.95 CAT NO: 8586Getting the Best for Your Child with AutismBryna Siegel$26.95 CAT NO: 9016Parenting a Child with Asperger SyndromeBrend Boyd$28.95 CAT NO: 9047Empowered Autism Parenting Willaim Stillman$22.95 CAT NO: 9547Autism Heroes: Portraits of Families Meeting the ChallengeBarbara Firestone$48.95 CAT NO: 9022

Different Like Me - My book of Autism HeroesJenifer Elder$23.95 CAT NO: 8296Australian Autism Handbook By Seana Smith and Benison O’Reilly$39.95 CAT NO: 9119An Extraordinary Gift: The Australian Asperger’s Resource GuideMarie Whitrow$31.95 CAT NO: 9573

Our Scrapbook of StrengthsEvery child and every family has strengths. Even when we are sorely tempted to declare they don’t! And it is mothers who often notice, appreciate and articulate these strengths first and last. They also do their very best to nurture these and other strengths in the family. Our Scrapbook of Strengths is a set of 42 cards that present powerful pictures of the strengths that create connected, nurturing and resilient families and communities.

• Be the catalyst for conversations about strengths in your family: Which cards represent strengths that are present in your family or community? Which strengths would you like to see your family do more of? What might be a first step towards creating more of this in your family?

Bereaved Mother’s HeartSometimes the unthinkable happens and a mother faces deep grief. Bereaved Mother’s Heart is a deeply moving yet ultimately uplifting picture book that uses poetry and paintings to track the psychological and emotional journey of a mother’s journey through bereavement. The book includes reflective notes and

suggestions for activities and ways to create soulful conversations about trauma and loss.

Kids’ SkillsNeed to step back into a positive mind set with a few really skillful ideas up your sleeve for working alongside your child? Kids’ Skills could be described as the mother’s little helper of a parenting book! Author Ben Furman shares the ‘Kids’ Skills’ model for working with children—a simple and fun method that is influencing parents,

teachers, and counsellors around the world. This 15-step method invites children to become active participants in skill-building and solution-finding for a whole range of behavioural ‘issues’ that can create havoc in families and in the classroom. Let’s hope these and other gems from our array of original strengths-based resources will help lighten the mother lode with meaningful conversations, tall tales and true from the legendary annals of mothering, and reflection in those rare quiet moments.

I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.Abraham Lincoln

Picking up on our ‘Mothering’ theme, here are some relevant items from our bookshop:

The phrase ‘working mother’ is redundant. Jane Sellman

www.innovativeresources.org6

BookReview

HotSpecials

Many people think that picture books are primarily for small children. However, picture books often carry layers of meaning and metaphor that can speak volumes to adolescents and adults as well. The combination of playful, whimsical and highly original ideas, with an economy of words and often breathtaking illustrations and graphic design, makes the world of picture books an intriguing one for readers of any age. Closely related to the genre of the comic book and even the world of film where story unfolds frame by frame, picture books can show and tell a simple story as well as explore the whole gamut of human experience and emotion. We invited 17-year-old Louisa Stuckenschmidt from Bendigo in Victoria to review one of the many picture books on the shelves at Innovative Resources. Louisa chose Little Pea written by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and illustrated by Jen Corace.

‘This is a story of Little Pea, Mama Pea, and Papa Pea.’

Little PeaAuthor: Amy Krouse Rosenthal Illustrator: Jen Corace ISBN: 9 780 811846 585$22.95 CAT NO: 6159

With these opening words, we are immediately drawn into the family atmosphere of the happy Pea family, and your typical, joyful child. However, while learning that Little Pea likes rolling down hills very fast and ‘hanging out with his pea pals’, we also have an insight into what Little Pea does not like:CANDY!After all, it is what you must eat for tea every night if you are a pea. Little Pea is faced with a typical ordeal for most children (and their parents), and learns that you must munch up all of your candy before you are allowed the yummy reward after.

This sweet tale of a little pea’s stubbornness about eating his dinner is a delightful and cleverly written story. The unique concept of a little vegetable having to eat his sweets before being granted his more appealing prize, coupled with the adorable illustrations, give this picture book an enjoyable and amusing spin on one of the less drastic, yet still trying, ordeals of childhood and parenting.

Innovative Resources has some red hot specials to offer customers for the month of May:

Can Do Dinosaurs card set Discounted by 25% to $38.00 (save over $10.00)

The Wrong Stone picture book Discounted by 25% to $18.00 (save over $6)

My Feelings card set Discounted by 50% to $12.25 (save over $12.00)

If you order via fax or email, please mention the May SOON discount offer.

Available from our Bookshop

Little Pea REVIEWED BY LOUISA STUCKENSCHMIDT

www.innovativeresources.org

Coming Soon From Innovative Resources A Patchwork LifeDream-like images for creativity, reflection and transformation.

GirltopiaA 2-day workshop for adults

Puberty and adolescence is an important transition for girls—a time of emerging female identity and potential empowerment; a time when genuine understanding of her changing body and emerging values, goals, skills and patterns of relationship can be greatly supported and celebrated by the adults around her. In a world where advertising images and myths of the perfect female body abound, how can we encourage conversations with girls that sparkle with understanding, self-acceptance, curiosity, reflection and

celebration? In truth, we cannot have too many of these conversations during puberty and adolescence, for these potent years lay the foundations for the woman the girl is to become. This highly interactive two-day workshop is for anyone who works or lives with girls or young women. It is also for those wishing to explore the important foundations of a woman’s journey to maturity and self understanding—no matter what her age. For full details visit www.janebennett.com.au or email [email protected].

A Patchwork Life40 laminated, full-colour cards, 120mm x 120mm, 5 sheets of stickers, full-colour polypropylene box, 28-page booklet of suggested uses. ISBN: 9 781 920945 466 Illustrator and author: Nicole Reading Designer: Robyn SpicerCAT NO: 4225 AU$54.50

Our lives are a patchwork of many different memories, experiences, dreams and relationships, sewn together to form our unique selves. The 40 cards in this deck are rich in narrative and imaginative possibilities, and feature the exquisite illustrations of Nicole Reading.The cards are designed to inspire the conversations, storytelling and creativity of women of all ages. They can be used flexibly by individuals and in group settings. Finished with gold detail, these beautiful cards are accompanied by stickers featuring complementary imagery for creative use.• Choose a card or sticker and use it as a prompt for journalling.• Ask members of a group to select cards reflecting their values as a team.• Chose a card representing an important issue in your life. Draw what is happening beyond the picture frame.• Select five cards and use them to tell a story. What happens when the cards are rearranged?• Select a card and arrange others around it to form a ‘quilt’ reflecting your special qualities.

Sydney: 2 & 3 July 2012 Melbourne: 10 & 11 July 2012

This beautiful set of cards and stickers is designed to inspire the conversations, storytelling and creativity of women of all ages.

7

Share Your Stories

Share your practice stories or creative ideas for using strengths-based resources in SOON by emailing:[email protected] or contribute to the blog via our website.

Girltopia card set available from Innovative Resources CAT NO: 4150 $62.50

Working with girls to create healthy transitions through puberty and adolescence