Tau Delta Phi Fraternity Membership Resources
Apr 02, 2016
Tau Delta Phi Fraternity Membership Resources
The twenty-first fraternity man is
expected to be comfortable in all
types of business settings, includ-
ing ones where they work with
and for women. Refer to these
tips on how you can create an eq-
uitable, gender-neutral environ-
ment.
Shake hands with everyone --
men and women -- the same way.
The one hand, straight up-and-
down handshake is the most ef-
fective and professional.
Use your full name when intro-
ducing yourself. Don't be "James
in accounting." Full names give
you more credibility and identity
as a professional.
It is proper and legal to address
women as "Ms." in a spoken or
written communication. The
woman may then advise you to
say "Mrs." or "Miss" if she pre-
fers it.
Introduce people in business set-
tings based on rank, not gender.
Avoid touching people, beyond
the one-hand professional hand-
shake.
People open doors for people, not
necessarily men opening doors for
women. If someone opens a door
for you, however, you should not
protest this act of politeness.
The host of a business lunch, the
one who did the inviting, pays for
lunch regardless of gender.
Avoid saying "Hon," "Dear,"
"Son," "Doll," and "Babe," to
people in the work environment
and over the telephone.
Adapted from Marjorie Brody
and Brody Communications Ltd,
2003 .
During your time as an chapter
officer, you will be introduced to
many campus administrators and
community leaders. It is
important to know some basic
etiquette when working with these
people; a positive impression, as
well as follow-up impressions,
could help your organization
tremendously.
First Impressions
Make a truly first impression:
Establish appropriate eye contact,
avoid colloquialisms and slang,
and have the right “support
materials” at hand. Have business
cards with your local chapter
information printed and in your
wallet or book bag.
Handshakes & Introductions
Know who should be introduced
first. Typically, you introduce
people to the highest ranking
leader; men are introduced to
women. Avoid offering a limp
handshake; make sure your grip is
confident and appropriate to the
situation. Manage unconventional
handshake situations by following
the other person’s lead.
Remember: You can use social
missteps as an opportunity to
display grace, wit, and poise.
Names Matter
Never ask, “Who are you?” Find
creative ways to determine the
names of people to whom you’ve
been introduced. Don’t use the
person’s first name unless you’re
invited to do so.
For Written Communications
When sending out written
correspondence on behalf of the
chapter, use both your spell-check
and human set of eyes to ensure
any documents you send out for
your organization is free of
spelling mistakes. Check it
carefully for grammar problems
too.
Make promises you can keep
when it comes to sending faxes, e
-mail transition, etc.
For Telephone Communications
When you reach someone directly
on the phone, explain why you
are calling. Leave enough
information in your phone
messages.
Make a point of approaching
people you don’t know; take the
time and make the effort to
become acquainted with them.
Adapted from Business Etiquette:
101 ways to conduct business
with charm and savvy, by Ann
Marie Sabath
Page Two
Page Three
Many of our fraternity rituals and
meetings require our members to
wear a shirt and tie. It is impor-
tant that all our members know
how to tie a tie, to prepare them-
selves for lives in the business
world and role model Starting
with these instructions, a sharp-
looking tie, a mirror and some
patience, you can become an ex-
pert in tying a fabulous tie. Be-
cause there are several different
ways to tie a tie, the tips below
are for the four-in-hand; other
styles can be learned by doing a
websearch for ‘How to Tie a Tie.’
Stand in front of the mirror. Your
collar should be up, your shirt
buttoned all the way to the top,
and the tie around your neck. The
wide end of the tie should be on
the side of your dominant hand.
So if you're right-handed, the
wider end should be hanging on
your right side. If you're left-
handed, the wider end should be
hanging on your left side.
Look for a seam on the front of
the narrow end of the tie.
Move the wide end over the nar-
row end so they cross each other
on the seam.
Pull the wide end behind the nar-
row end.
Bring the wide end around. It
should be facing off to your left.
Bring the wide end under the nar-
row end again.
Pull the wide end of the tie under
the loop around your neck.
Pull the wide end down through
the knot at the front of the tie.
Tighten the knot by sliding it up
the narrow end. Make sure your
tie is straight and the length is ap-
propriate.
The four-in-hand knot is a little
asymmetrical at the neck. Don't
worry about this; it is normal.
Many men with shorter necks pre-
fer the four-in-hand, because the
knot at top is very narrow and has
a slimming effect on the rest of
the neck.
Adapted from WikiHow “How to
Tie a Tie” www.wikihow.com/Tie-
a-Tie
Feeling some nervousness before
giving a speech is natural and
healthy. It shows you care about
doing well. But, too much nerv-
ousness can be detrimental. Life
in a fraternity will require its
members to speak publicly before
other fraternity members and in
front of other student leaders.
Take advantage of every opportu-
nity to practice your skills. Here's
how you can control your nerv-
ousness and make effective,
memorable presentations:
Know the room. Be familiar with
the place in which you will speak.
Arrive early, walk around the
speaking area and practice using
the microphone and any visual
aids.
Know the audience. Greet some
of the audience as they arrive. It's
easier to speak to a group of
friends than to a group of strang-
ers.
Know your material. If you're
not familiar with your material or
are uncomfortable with it, your
nervousness will increase. Prac-
tice your speech and revise it if
necessary.
Relax. Ease tension by doing ex-
ercises. Close your eyes and take
several deep breaths.
Visualize your-
self giving your
speech. Imagine
yourself speak-
ing, your voice
loud, clear, and
assured. When
you visualize
yourself as suc-
cessful, you will
be successful.
Realize that people want you to
succeed. Audiences want you to
be interesting, stimulating, infor-
mative, and entertaining. They
don't want you to fail.
Don't apologize. If you mention
your nervousness or apologize for
any problems you think you have
with your speech, you may be
calling the audience's attention to
something they hadn't noticed.
Keep silent.
Concentrate on the message --
not the medium. Focus your at-
tention away from your own
anxieties, and
outwardly toward
your message and
your audience.
Your nervousness
will dissipate.
Turn nervous-
ness into positive
energy. Harness
your nervous en-
ergy and transform it into vitality
and enthusiasm.
Gain experience. Experience
builds confidence, which is the
key to effective speaking.
As you continue to practice your
skills, you can become a success-
ful public speaker.
Answer TRUE or FALSE to the following questions – answers are on Page Six.
1. True False Casual dress on Fridays means that my attitude and language can be casual too.
2. True False Business casual means a man's shirt should have a collar.
3. True False If a man does not have time to shave in the morning before work he should keep an electric
razor in his desk drawer.
4. True False It's perfectly okay to ask a well dressed professional where they got their clothes and how
much they paid.
5. True False I can smoke in my own office even if the building is non-smoking.
6. True False If a co-worker is dressing inappropriately at work, I have a responsibility to tell them.
7. True False If I have to attend a formal function in the evening, it is perfectly acceptable to wear my for-
mal clothes during the day.
8. True False It cannot be construed as sexual harassment if I comment on co-workers appearance
whether man or woman.
9. True False Everyone should know that good grooming is an intrinsic part of any workplace dress code.
10. True False Chewing gum is a good habit to get into if you want to keep fresh breath.
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Page Five
Regardless of our skills or educa-
tion, our impact among others is
lost when we are lack the social
skills to know how to act around
others. Fraternity life allows our
men to learn how to exhibit the
skills that show that we care about
ourselves and each other, and
make positive impact in the lives
of our fraternity brothers and
those in our communities.
Courtesy and Respect Socially correct behavior is all
about observing The Golden Rule
you learned in childhood -- treat-
ing others the way you want to be
treated. This means acknowledg-
ing their presence with a pleasant
greeting, always remembering to
say "please" and "thank you," re-
specting their privacy, opinions
and possessions, and being a
thoughtful and considerate guest,
whether it is for a dinner or a
weekend stay. Opening doors,
giving up your seat on public
transportation or simply lending a
helpful hand to someone in need
without anyone asking are all
demonstrations of proper man-
ners. To this etiquette list is added
the necessity of giving others
your undivided attention by not
texting, taking or making cell
phone calls, or reading a book
while they're trying to interact
with you.
Conversations
Just because you have many
things to say doesn't mean you're
entitled to dominate every conver-
sation, constantly interrupt others
when they're talking, or engage in
loud, abrasive arguments if some-
one disagrees with you. If you are
a socially refined person, you un-
derstand why you have one mouth
and two ears and use them ac-
cordingly to encourage others,
keep an open mind, eschew gos-
sip and practice discretion. The
authors of "Social Graces: Man-
ners, Conversation, and Charm
for Today" advise that you not
only avoid controversial topics
when meeting others for the first
time but that you steer clear as
well of personal questions that
might make them uncomfortable.
If you inadvertently offend some-
one or make a mistake, the so-
cially responsible thing to do is
apologize as soon as possible.
Gratitude
Everyone likes to know they are
appreciated for kindnesses they
have performed, writes Peggy
Post, author of "Emily Post's Eti-
quette." Whether it's a card, a pre-
sent or a favor, there's no excuse
for not taking the time to express
what it meant to you. In an earlier
era, this was by way of a hand-
written note. The advent of tech-
nology, however, has reduced this
simple courtesy to emails, voice
mails, text messages or, sadly, no
"thank you" at all. No matter how
busy you are, keep in mind it will
probably take you less time to
compose a thoughtful response
than it took your recipient to do
the kind deed initially. Another
important tradition that has fallen
by the wayside is the gracious ac-
knowledgment of social invita-
tions. Never leave your host hang-
ing by failing to RSVP or, worse,
bringing along uninvited guests.
Table Manners
If you dine with other people, fo-
cus on making it a pleasant ex-
perience for everyone at the table.
They may not act persnickety if
you accidentally use the wrong
fork. However, they will notice if
you talk with your mouth full,
chew with your mouth open, park
your elbows on the table, take
more food than everyone else,
burp, belch and slurp, or do a
farmhouse reach across the table
for something rather than asking
someone to please pass it to you.
Refer to the Dining Etiquette
Guide for more detailed informa-
tion.
Public Behavior
How you behave in the privacy of
your home is often different from
how you act once you step outside
your front door. Social graces dic-
tate your being mindful of how
others perceive both you and your
actions. Talking or yelling loudly,
engaging in inappropriate dis-
plays of affection, spitting on
sidewalks, littering, playing loud
music, swearing or cutting ahead
of others in lines are all discourte-
ous behaviors. If you travel
abroad, you must also follow the
codes of conduct observed by
other cultures. Consider your
physical appearance as well.
Dressing inappropriately and/or
smelling badly are not the trade-
marks of a well-bred person. No
matter your age, education or so-
cial status, modesty and cleanli-
ness are always in fashion.
Adapted from Social Manners &
Etiquette, 2013 Christina Hamlett
1. Casual dress on Fridays means that my attitude and language can be casual too.
ANSWER: False. Your attitude and speech style should be polished and professional at all times. Casual
attire means only your clothing is casual.
2. Business casual means a man's shirt should have a collar.
ANSWER: True. Business casual means men should wear collars. T-shirts and V-neck's are not really
acceptable.
3. If a man does not have time to shave in the morning before work he should keep an electric razor in his
desk drawer.
ANSWER: False. Your office desk is not your bathroom vanity. At no time should clients or co-workers
be witness to your personal grooming habits.
4. It's perfectly okay to ask a well dressed professional where they got their clothes and how much they paid.
ANSWER: False. Your office desk is not your bathroom vanity. At no time should clients or co-workers
be witness to your personal grooming habits. This applies to women too.
5. I can smoke in my own office even if the building is non-smoking.
ANSWER: False. Smoking is unacceptable when you are with clients and if the office has a no smoking
policy you should honor it.
6. If a co-worker is dressing inappropriately at work, I have a responsibility to tell them.
ANSWER: False. Unless you are the person's supervisor, keep your opinions to yourself.
7. If I have to attend a formal function in the evening, it is perfectly acceptable to wear my formal clothes
during the day.
ANSWER: False. It is unacceptable to wear formal clothes to the office unless the entire office is doing so
for some specific reason. Bring the clothes with you or rearrange your schedule to make time to prepare for
the function.
8. It cannot be construed as sexual harassment if I comment on co-workers appearance whether man or
woman.
ANSWER: False. Check your company policy on harassment. In business situations commenting on the
appearance or dress of the opposite sex is not an appropriate thing to do.
9. Everyone should know that good grooming is an intrinsic part of any workplace dress code.
ANSWER: True. Common sense dictates that you should go to work clean, neat and professionally
dressed even if there is not a formal dress policy.
10. Chewing gum is a good habit to get into if you want to keep fresh breath.
ANSWER: False. Chewing gum is a very rude and unsightly habit. Quickly and quietly take a mint in-
stead.
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